"Memories of the House of the Dead" by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1873)

Presented as a novel, this is a not-at-all-disguised memoir of the four years that the author spent in a Siberian penal prison as a political prisoner.

A remarkably credible and vivid account centered on the personalities of his fellow prisoners and of the prison guards while calmly and clearly recounting the terrible punishments handed out to the common prisoners (the intellectuals and nobles like the author were exempted from corporal punishment) as well as the everyday conditions in the crowded, filthy and bug-infested prison camp.

A memorable account of a memorable experience by a very memorable writer indeed.

(122,500 words)

Translated by Julius Bramant in 1911.

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An e-book, with the original Russian texts in an annex, is available for downloading below.

The original Russian texts can also be seen here.

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Portrait of Dostoyevsky by Vassili Perov (1872)

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CONTENTS

PART I

CHAPTER	TITLE
I.	Ten Years a Convict
II.	The House of the Dead
III.	First Impressions
IV.	First Impressions (continued)
V.	First Impressions (continued)
VI.	The First Month
VII.	The First Month (continued)
VIII.	New Acquaintances—Petroff
IX.	Men of Determination—Luka
X.	Isaiah Fomitch—The Bath—Baklouchin
XI.	The Christmas Holidays
XII.	The Performance

PART II

I.	The Hospital
II.	The Hospital (continued)
III.	The Hospital (continued)
IV.	The Husband of Akoulka
V.	The Summer Season
VI.	The Animals at the Convict Establishment
VII.	Grievances
VIII.	My Companions
IX.	The Escape
X.	Freedom!

PRISON LIFE IN SIBERIA.

PART I.

CHAPTER I. TEN YEARS A CONVICT

In the midst of the steppes, of the mountains, of the impenetrable forests of the desert regions of Siberia, one meets from time to time with little towns of a thousand or two inhabitants, built entirely of wood, very ugly, with two churches—one in the centre of the town, the other in the cemetery—in a word, towns which bear much more resemblance to a good-sized village in the suburbs of Moscow than to a town properly so called. In most cases they are abundantly provided with police-master, assessors, and other inferior officials. If it is cold in Siberia, the great advantages of the Government service compensate for it. The inhabitants are simple people, without liberal ideas. Their manners are antique, solid, and unchanged by time. The officials who form, and with reason, the nobility in Siberia, either belong to the country, deeply-rooted Siberians, or they have arrived there from Russia. The latter come straight from the capitals, tempted by the high pay, the extra allowance for travelling expenses, and by hopes not less seductive for the future. Those who know how to resolve the problem of life remain almost always in Siberia; the abundant and richly-flavoured fruit which they gather there recompenses them amply for what they lose.
As for the others, light-minded persons who are unable to deal with the problem, they are soon bored in Siberia, and ask themselves with regret why they committed the folly of coming. They impatiently kill the three years which they are obliged by rule to remain, and as soon as their time is up, they beg to be sent back, and return to their original quarters, running down Siberia, and ridiculing it. They are wrong, for it is a happy country, not only as regards the Government service, but also from many other points of view.
The climate is excellent, the merchants are rich and hospitable, the Europeans in easy circumstances are numerous; as for the young girls, they are like roses and their morality is irreproachable. Game is to be found in the streets, and throws itself upon the sportsman’s gun. People drink champagne in prodigious quantities. The caviare is astonishingly good and most abundant. In a word, it is a blessed land, out of which it is only necessary to be able to make profit; and much profit is really made.
It is in one of these little towns—gay and perfectly satisfied with themselves, the population of which has left upon me the most agreeable impression—that I met an exile, Alexander Petrovitch Goriantchikoff, formerly a landed proprietor in Russia. He had been condemned to hard labour of the second class for assassinating his wife. After undergoing his punishment—ten years of hard labour—he lived quietly and unnoticed as a colonist in the little town of K——. To tell the truth, he was inscribed in one of the surrounding districts; but he resided at K——, where he managed to get a living by giving lessons to children. In the towns of Siberia one often meets with exiles who are occupied with instruction. They are not looked down upon, for they teach the French language, so necessary in life, and of which without them one would not, in the distant parts of Siberia, have the least idea.
I saw Alexander Petrovitch the first time at the house of an official, Ivan Ivanitch Gvosdikof, a venerable old man, very hospitable, and the father of five daughters, of whom the greatest hopes were entertained. Four times a week Alexander Petrovitch gave them lessons, at the rate of thirty kopecks silver a lesson. His external appearance interested me. He was excessively pale and thin, still young—about thirty-five years of age—short and weak, always very neatly dressed in the European style. When you spoke to him he looked at you in a very attentive manner, listening to your words with strict politeness, and with a reflective air, as though you had placed before him a problem or wished to extract from him a secret. He replied clearly and shortly; but in doing so, weighed each word, so that one felt ill at ease without knowing why, and was glad when the conversation came to an end. I put some questions to Ivan Gvosdikof in regard to him. He told me that Goriantchikoff was of irreproachable morals, otherwise Gvosdikof would not have entrusted him with the education of his children; but that he was a terrible misanthrope, who kept apart from all society; that he was very learned, a great reader, and that he spoke but little, and never entered freely into a conversation. Certain persons told him that he was mad; but that was not looked upon as a very serious defect. Accordingly, the most important persons in the town were ready to treat Alexander Petrovitch with respect, for he could be useful to them in writing petitions. It was believed that he was well connected in Russia. Perhaps, among his relations, there were some who were highly placed; but it was known that since his exile he had broken off all relations with them. In a word—he injured himself. Every one knew his story, and was aware that he had killed his wife, through jealousy, less than a year after his marriage; and that he had given himself up to justice; which had made his punishment much less severe. Such crimes are always looked upon as misfortunes, which must be treated with pity. Nevertheless, this original kept himself obstinately apart, and never showed himself except to give lessons. In the first instance I paid no attention to him; then, without knowing why, I found myself interested by him. He was rather enigmatic; to talk with him was quite impossible. Certainly he replied to all my questions; he seemed to make it a duty to do so; but when once he had answered, I was afraid to interrogate him any longer.
After such conversations one could observe on his countenance signs of suffering and exhaustion. I remember that, one fine summer evening, I went out with him from the house of Ivan Gvosdikof. It suddenly occurred to me to invite him to come in with me and smoke a cigarette. I can scarcely describe the fright which showed itself in his countenance. He became confused, muttered incoherent words, and suddenly, after looking at me with an angry air, took to flight in an opposite direction. I was very much astonished afterwards, when he met me. He seemed to experience, on seeing me, a sort of terror; but I did not lose courage. There was something in him which attracted me.
A month afterwards I went to see Petrovitch without any pretext. It is evident that, in doing so, I behaved foolishly, and without the least delicacy. He lived at one of the extreme points of the town with an old woman whose daughter was in a consumption. The latter had a little child about ten years old, very pretty and very lively.
When I went in Alexander Petrovitch was seated by her side, and was teaching her to read. When he saw me he became confused, as if I had detected him in a crime. Losing all self-command, he suddenly stood up and looked at me with awe and astonishment. Then we both of us sat down. He followed attentively all my looks, as if I had suspected him of some mysterious intention. I understood he was horribly mistrustful. He looked at me as a sort of spy, and he seemed to be on the point of saying, “Are you not soon going away?”
I spoke to him of our little town, of the news of the day, but he was silent, or smiled with an air of displeasure. I could see that he was absolutely ignorant of all that was taking place in the town, and that he was in no way curious to know. I spoke to him afterwards of the country generally, and of its men. He listened to me still in silence, fixing his eyes upon me in such a strange way that I became ashamed of what I was doing. I was very nearly offending him by offering him some books and newspapers which I had just received by post. He cast a greedy look upon them; he then seemed to alter his mind, and declined my offer, giving his want of leisure as a pretext.
At last I wished him good-bye, and I felt a weight fall from my shoulders as I left the house. I regretted to have harassed a man whose tastes kept him apart from the rest of the world. But the fault had been committed. I had remarked that he possessed very few books. It was not true, then, that he read so much. Nevertheless, on two occasions when I drove past, I saw a light in his lodging. What could make him sit up so late? Was he writing, and if that were so, what was he writing?
I was absent from our town for about three months. When I returned home in the winter, I learned that Petrovitch was dead, and that he had not even sent for a doctor. He was even now already forgotten, and his lodging was unoccupied. I at once made the acquaintance of his landlady, in the hope of learning from her what her lodger had been writing. For twenty kopecks she brought me a basket full of papers left by the defunct, and confessed to me that she had already employed four sheets in lighting her fire. She was a morose and taciturn old woman. I could not get from her anything that was interesting. She could tell me nothing about her lodger. She gave me to understand all the same that he scarcely ever worked, and that he remained for months together without opening a book or touching a pen. On the other hand, he walked all night up and down his room, given up to his reflections. Sometimes, indeed, he spoke aloud. He was very fond of her little grandchild, Katia, above all when he knew her name; on her name’s-day—the day of St. Catherine—he always had a requiem said in the church for some one’s soul. He detested receiving visits, and never went out except to give lessons. Even his landlady he looked upon with an unfriendly eye when, once a week, she came into his room to put it in order.
During the three years he had passed with her, he had scarcely ever spoken to her. I asked Katia if she remembered him. She looked at me in silence, and turned weeping to the wall. This man, then, was loved by some one! I took away the papers, and passed the day in examining them. They were for the most part of no importance, merely children’s exercises. At last I came to a rather thick packet, the sheets of which were covered with delicate handwriting, which abruptly ceased. It had perhaps been forgotten by the writer. It was the narrative—incoherent and fragmentary—of the ten years Alexander Petrovitch had passed in hard labour. This narrative was interrupted, here and there, either by anecdotes, or by strange, terrible recollections thrown in convulsively as if torn from the writer. I read some of these fragments again and again, and I began to doubt whether they had not been written in moments of madness; but these memories of the convict prison—“Recollections of the Dead-House,” as he himself called them somewhere in his manuscript—seemed to me not without interest. They revealed quite a new world unknown till then; and in the strangeness of his facts, together with his singular remarks on this fallen people, there was enough to tempt me to go on. I may perhaps be wrong, but I will publish some chapters from this narrative, and the public shall judge for itself.

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CHAPTER II. THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD

Our prison was at the end of the citadel behind the ramparts. Looking through the crevices between the palisade in the hope of seeing something, one sees nothing but a little corner of the sky, and a high earthwork, covered with the long grass of the steppe. Night and day sentries walk to and fro upon it. Then one perceives from the first, that whole years will pass during which one will see by the same crevices between the palisades, upon the same earthwork, always the same sentinels and the same little corner of the sky, not just above the prison, but far and far away. Represent to yourself a court-yard, two hundred feet long, and one hundred and fifty feet broad, enclosed by an irregular hexagonal palisade, formed of stakes thrust deep into the earth. So much for the external surroundings of the prison. On one side of the palisade is a great gate, solid, and always shut; watched perpetually by the sentinels, and never opened, except when the convicts go out to work. Beyond this, there are light and liberty, the life of free people! Beyond the palisade, one thought of the marvellous world, fantastic as a fairy tale. It was not the same on our side. Here, there was no resemblance to anything. Habits, customs, laws, were all precisely fixed. It was the house of living death. It is this corner that I undertake to describe.
On penetrating into the enclosure one sees a few buildings. On each side of a vast court are stretched forth two wooden constructions, made of trunks of trees, and only one storey high. These are convicts’ barracks. Here the prisoners are confined, divided into several classes. At the end of the enclosure may be seen a house, which serves as a kitchen, divided into two compartments. Behind it is another building, which serves at once as cellar, loft, and barn. The centre of the enclosure, completely barren, is a large open space. Here the prisoners are drawn up in ranks, three times a day. They are identified, and must answer to their names, morning, noon, and evening, besides several times in the course of the day if the soldiers on guard are suspicious and clever at counting. All around, between the palisades and the buildings there remains a sufficiently large space, where some of the prisoners who are misanthropes, or of a sombre turn of mind, like to walk about when they are not at work. There they go turning over their favourite thoughts, shielded from all observation.
When I met them during those walks of theirs, I took pleasure in observing their sad, deeply-marked countenances, and in guessing their thoughts. The favourite occupation of one of the convicts, during the moments of liberty left to him from his hard labour, was to count the palisades. There were fifteen hundred of them. He had counted them all, and knew them nearly by heart. Every one of them represented to him a day of confinement; but, counting them daily in this manner, he knew exactly the number of days that he had still to pass in the prison. He was sincerely happy when he had finished one side of the hexagon; yet he had to wait for his liberation many long years. But one learns patience in a prison.
One day I saw a prisoner, who had undergone his punishment, take leave of his comrades. He had had twenty years’ hard labour. More than one convict remembered seeing him arrive, quite young, careless, thinking neither of his crime nor of his punishment. He was now an old man with gray hairs, with a sad and morose countenance. He walked in silence through our six barracks. When he entered each of them he prayed before the holy image, made a deep bow to his former companions, and begged them not to keep a bad recollection of him.
I also remember one evening, a prisoner, who had been formerly a well-to-do Siberian peasant, so called. Six years before he had had news of his wife’s remarrying, which had caused him great pain. That very evening she had come to the prison, and had asked for him in order to make him a present! They talked together for two minutes, wept together, and then separated never to meet again. I saw the expression of this prisoner’s countenance when he re-entered the barracks. There, indeed, one learns to support everything.
When darkness set in we had to re-enter the barrack, where we were shut up for all the night. It was always painful for me to leave the court-yard for the barrack. Think of a long, low, stifling room, scarcely lighted by tallow candles, and full of heavy and disgusting odours. I cannot now understand how I lived there for ten entire years. My camp bedstead was made of three boards. This was the only place in the room that belonged to me. In one single room we herded together, more than thirty men. It was, above all, no wonder that we were shut up early. Four hours at least passed before every one was asleep, and, until then, there was a tumult and uproar of laughter, oaths, rattling of chains, a poisonous vapour of thick smoke; a confusion of shaved heads, stigmatised foreheads, and ragged clothes disgustingly filthy.
Yes, man is a pliable animal—he must be so defined—a being who gets accustomed to everything! That would be, perhaps, the best definition that could be given of him. There were altogether two hundred and fifty of us in the same prison. This number was almost invariably the same. Whenever some of them had undergone their punishment, other criminals arrived, and a few of them died. Among them there were all sorts of people. I believe that each region of Russia had furnished its representatives. There were foreigners there, and even mountaineers from the Caucasus.
All these people were divided into different classes, according to the importance of the crime; and consequently the duration of the punishment for the crime, whatever it might be, was there represented. The population of the prison was composed for the most part of men condemned to hard labour of the civil class—“strongly condemned,” as the prisoners used to say. They were criminals deprived of all civil rights, men rejected by society, vomited forth by it, and whose faces were marked by the iron to testify eternally to their disgrace. They were incarcerated for different periods of time, varying from eight to ten years. At the expiration of their punishment they were sent to the Siberian districts in the character of colonists.
As to the criminals of the military section, they were not deprived of their civil rights—as is generally the case in Russian disciplinary companies—but were punished for a relatively short period. As soon as they had undergone their punishment they had to return to the place whence they had come, and became soldiers in the battalions of the Siberian Line [1].
Many of them came back to us afterwards, for serious crimes, this time not for a small number of years, but for twenty at least. They then formed part of the section called “for perpetuity.” Nevertheless, the perpetuals were not deprived of their right. There was another section sufficiently numerous, composed of the worst malefactors, nearly all veterans in crime, and which was called the special section. There were sent convicts from all the Russias. They looked upon one another with reason as imprisoned for ever, for the term of their confinement had not been indicated. The law required them to receive double and treble tasks. They remained in prison until work of the most painful character had to be undertaken in Siberia.
“You are only here for a fixed time,” they said to the other convicts; “we, on the contrary, are here for all our life.”
I have heard that this section has since been abolished. At the same time, civil convicts are kept apart, in order that the military convicts may be organised by themselves into a homogeneous “disciplinary company.” The administration, too, has naturally been changed; consequently what I describe are the customs and practices of another time, and of things which have since been abolished. Yes, it was a long time ago; it seems to me that it is all a dream. I remember entering the convict prison one December evening, as night was falling. The convicts were returning from work. The roll-call was about to be made. An under officer with large moustaches opened to me the gate of this strange house, where I was to remain so many years, to endure so many emotions, and of which I could not form even an approximate idea, if I had not gone through them. Thus, for example, could I ever have imagined the poignant and terrible suffering of never being alone even for one minute during ten years? Working under escort in the barracks together with two hundred “companions;” never alone, never!
However, I was obliged to get accustomed to it. Among them there were murderers by imprudence, and murderers by profession, simple thieves, masters in the art of finding money in the pockets of the passers-by, or of wiping off no matter what from the table. It would have been difficult, however, to say why and how certain prisoners found themselves among the convicts. Each of them had his history, confused and heavy, painful as the morning after a debauch.
The convicts, as a rule, spoke very little of their past life, which they did not like to think of. They endeavoured, even, to dismiss it from their memory.
Amongst my companions of the chain I have known murderers who were so gay and so free from care, that one might have made a bet that their conscience never made them the least reproach. But there were also men of sombre countenance who remained almost always silent. It was very rarely any one told his history. This sort of thing was not the fashion. Let us say at once that it was not received. Sometimes, however, from time to time, for the sake of change, a prisoner used to tell his life to another prisoner, who would listen coldly to the narrative. No one, to tell the truth, could have said anything to astonish his neighbour. “We are not ignoramuses,” they would sometimes say with singular pride.
I remember one day a ruffian who had got drunk—it was sometimes possible for the convicts to get drink—relating how he had killed and cut up a child of five. He had first tempted the child with a plaything, and then taking it to a loft, had cut it up to pieces. The entire barrack, which, generally speaking, laughed at his jokes, uttered one unanimous cry. The ruffian was obliged to be silent. But if the convicts had interrupted him, it was not by any means because his recital had caused their indignation, but because it was not allowed to speak of such things.
I must here observe that the convicts possessed a certain degree of instruction. Half of them, if not more, knew how to read and write. Where in Russia, in no matter what population, could two hundred and fifty men be found able to read and write? Later on I have heard people say, and conclude on the strength of these abuses, that education demoralises the people. This is a mistake. Education has nothing whatever to do with moral deterioration. It must be admitted, nevertheless, that it develops a resolute spirit among the people. But this is far from being a defect.
Each section had a different costume. The uniform of one was a cloth vest, half brown and half gray, and trousers with one leg brown, the other gray. One day while we were at work, a little girl who sold scones of white bread came towards the convicts. She looked at them for a time and then burst into a laugh. “Oh, how ugly they are!” she cried; “they have not even enough gray cloth or brown cloth to make their clothes.” Every convict wore a vest made of gray cloth, except the sleeves, which were brown. Their heads, too, were shaved in different styles. The crown was bared sometimes longitudinally, sometimes latitudinally, from the nape of the neck to the forehead, or from one ear to another.
This strange family had a general likeness so pronounced that it could be recognised at a glance.
Even the most striking personalities, those who dominated involuntarily the other convicts, could not help taking the general tone of the house.
Of the convicts—with the exception of a few who enjoyed childish gaiety, and who by that alone drew upon themselves general contempt—all the convicts were morose, envious, frightfully vain, presumptuous, susceptible, and excessively ceremonious. To be astonished at nothing was in their eyes the first and indispensable quality. Accordingly, their first aim was to bear themselves with dignity. But often the most composed demeanour gave way with the rapidity of lightning. With the basest humility some, however, possessed genuine strength; these were naturally all sincere. But strangely enough, they were for the most part excessively and morbidly vain. Vanity was always their salient quality.
The majority of the prisoners were depraved and perverted, so that calumnies and scandal rained amongst them like hail. Our life was a constant hell, a perpetual damnation; but no one would have dared to raise a voice against the internal regulations of the prison, or against established usages. Accordingly, willingly or unwillingly, they had to be submitted to. Certain indomitable characters yielded with difficulty, but they yielded all the same. Prisoners who when at liberty had gone beyond all measure, who, urged by their over-excited vanity, had committed frightful crimes unconsciously, as if in a delirium, and had been the terror of entire towns, were put down in a very short time by the system of our prison. The “new man,” when he began to reconnoitre, soon found that he could astonish no one, and insensibly he submitted, took the general tone, and assumed a sort of personal dignity which almost every convict maintained, just as if the denomination of convict had been a title of honour. Not the least sign of shame or of repentance, but a kind of external submission which seemed to have been reasoned out as the line of conduct to be pursued. “We are lost men,” they said to themselves. “We were unable to live in liberty; we must now go to Green Street [2].”
“You would not obey your father and mother; you will now obey thongs of leather.” “The man who would not sow must now break stones.”
These things were said, and repeated in the way of morality, as sentences and proverbs, but without any one taking them seriously. They were but words in the air. There was not one man among them who admitted his iniquity. Let a stranger not a convict endeavour to reproach him with his crime, and the insults directed against him would be endless. And how refined are convicts in the matter of insults! They insult delicately, like artists; insult with the most delicate science. They endeavour not so much to offend by the expression as by the meaning, the spirit of an envenomed phrase. Their incessant quarrels developed greatly this special art.
As they only worked under the threat of an immense stick, they were idle and depraved. Those who were not already corrupt when they arrived at the convict establishment, became perverted very soon. Brought together in spite of themselves, they were perfect strangers to one another. “The devil has worn out three pairs of sandals before he got us together,” they would say. Intrigues, calumnies, scandal of all kinds, envy, and hatred reigned above everything else. In this life of sloth, no ordinary spiteful tongue could make head against these murderers, with insults constantly in their mouths.
As I said before, there were found among them men of open character, resolute, intrepid, accustomed to self-command. These were held involuntarily in esteem. Although they were very jealous of their reputation, they endeavoured to annoy no one, and never insulted one another without a motive. Their conduct was on all points full of dignity. They were rational, and almost always obedient, not by principle, or from any respect for duty, but as if in virtue of a mutual convention between themselves and the administration—a convention of which the advantages were plain enough.
The officials, moreover, behaved prudently towards them. I remember that one prisoner of the resolute and intrepid class, known to possess the instincts of a wild beast, was summoned one day to be whipped. It was during the summer, no work was being done. The Adjutant, the direct and immediate chief of the convict prison, was in the orderly-room, by the side of the principal entrance, ready to assist at the punishment. This Major was a fatal being for the prisoners, whom he had brought to such a state that they trembled before him. Severe to the point of insanity, “he threw himself upon them,” to use their expression. But it was above all that his look, as penetrating as that of a lynx, was feared. It was impossible to conceal anything from him. He saw, so to say, without looking. On entering the prison, he knew at once what was being done. Accordingly, the convicts, one and all, called him the man with the eight eyes. His system was bad, for it had the effect of irritating men who were already irascible. But for the Commandant, a well-bred and reasonable man, who moderated the savage onslaughts of the Major, the latter would have caused sad misfortunes by his bad administration. I do not understand how he managed to retire from the service safe and sound. It is true that he left after being called before a court-martial.
The prisoner turned pale when he was called; generally speaking, he lay down courageously, and without uttering a word, to receive the terrible rods, after which he got up and shook himself. He bore the misfortune calmly, philosophically, it is true, though he was never punished carelessly, nor without all sorts of precautions. But this time he considered himself innocent. He turned pale, and as he walked quietly towards the escort of soldiers he managed to conceal in his sleeve a shoemaker’s awl. The prisoners were severely forbidden to carry sharp instruments about them. Examinations were frequently, minutely, and unexpectedly made, and all infractions of the rule were severely punished. But as it is difficult to take away from the criminal what he is determined to conceal, and as, moreover, sharp instruments are necessarily used in the prison, they were never destroyed. If the official succeeded in taking them away from the convicts, the latter procured new ones very soon.
On the occasion in question, all the convicts had now thrown themselves against the palisade, with palpitating hearts, to look through the crevices. It was known that this time Petroff would not allow himself to be flogged, that the end of the Major had come. But at the critical moment the latter got into his carriage, and went away, leaving the direction of the punishment to a subaltern. “God has saved him!” said the convicts. As for Petroff, he underwent his punishment quietly. Once the Major had gone, his anger fell. The prisoner is submissive and obedient to a certain point, but there is a limit which must not be crossed. Nothing is more curious than these strange outbursts of disobedience and rage. Often a man who has supported for many years the most cruel punishment, will revolt for a trifle, for nothing at all. He might pass for a madman; that, in fact, is what is said of him.
I have already said that during many years I never remarked the least sign of repentance, not even the slightest uneasiness with regard to the crime committed; and that most of the convicts considered neither honour nor conscience, holding that they had a right to act as they thought fit. Certainly vanity, evil examples, deceitfulness, and false shame were responsible for much. On the other hand, who can claim to have sounded the depths of these hearts, given over to perdition, and to have found them closed to all light? It would seem all the same that during so many years I ought to have been able to notice some indication, even the most fugitive, of some regret, some moral suffering. I positively saw nothing of the kind. With ready-made opinions one cannot judge of crime. Its philosophy is a little more complicated than people think. It is acknowledged that neither convict prisons, nor the hulks, nor any system of hard labour ever cured a criminal. These forms of chastisement only punish him and reassure society against the offences he might commit. Confinement, regulation, and excessive work have no effect but to develop with these men profound hatred, a thirst for forbidden enjoyment, and frightful recalcitrations. On the other hand I am convinced that the celebrated cellular system gives results which are specious and deceitful. It deprives a criminal of his force, of his energy, enervates his soul by weakening and frightening it, and at last exhibits a dried up mummy as a model of repentance and amendment.
The criminal who has revolted against society, hates it, and considers himself in the right; society was wrong, not he. Has he not, moreover, undergone his punishment? Accordingly he is absolved, acquitted in his own eyes. In spite of different opinions, every one will acknowledge that there are crimes which everywhere, always, under no matter what legislation, are beyond discussion crimes, and should be regarded as such as long as man is man. It is only at the convict prison that I have heard related, with a childish, unrestrained laugh, the strangest, most atrocious offences. I shall never forget a certain parricide, formerly a nobleman and a public functionary. He had given great grief to his father—a true prodigal son. The old man endeavoured in vain to restrain him by remonstrance on the fatal slope down which he was sliding. As he was loaded with debts, and his father was suspected of having, besides an estate, a sum of ready money, he killed him in order to enter more quickly into his inheritance. This crime was not discovered until a month afterwards. During all this time the murderer, who meanwhile had informed the police of his father’s disappearance, continued his debauches. At last, during his absence, the police discovered the old man’s corpse in a drain. The gray head was severed from the trunk, but replaced in its original position. The body was entirely dressed. Beneath, as if by derision, the assassin had placed a cushion.
The young man confessed nothing. He was degraded, deprived of his nobiliary privileges, and condemned to twenty years’ hard labour. As long as I knew him I always found him to be careless of his position. He was the most light-minded, inconsiderate man that I ever met, although he was far from being a fool. I never observed in him any great tendency to cruelty. The other convicts despised him, not on account of his crime, of which there was never any question, but because he was without dignity. He sometimes spoke of his father. One day for instance, boasting of the hereditary good health of his family, he said: “My father, for example, until his death was never ill.”
Animal insensibility carried to such a point is most remarkable—it is, indeed, phenomenal. There must have been in this case an organic defect in the man, some physical and moral monstrosity unknown hitherto to science, and not simply crime. I naturally did not believe in so atrocious a crime; but people of the same town as himself, who knew all the details of his history, related it to me. The facts were so clear that it would have been madness not to accept them. The prisoners once heard him cry out during his sleep: “Hold him! hold him! Cut his head off, his head, his head!”
Nearly all the convicts dreamed aloud, or were delirious in their sleep. Insults, words of slang, knives, hatchets, seemed constantly present in their dreams. “We are crushed!” they would say; “we are without entrails; that is why we shriek in the night.”
Hard labour in our fortress was not an occupation, but an obligation. The prisoners accomplished their task, they worked the number of hours fixed by the law, and then returned to the prison. They hated their liberty. If the convict did not do some work on his own account voluntarily, it would be impossible for him to support his confinement. How could these persons, all strongly constituted, who had lived sumptuously, and desired so to live again, who had been brought together against their will, after society had cast them up—how could they live in a normal and natural manner? Man cannot exist without work, without legal, natural property. Depart from these conditions, and he becomes perverted and changed into a wild beast. Accordingly, every convict, through natural requirements and by the instinct of self-preservation, had a trade—an occupation of some kind.
The long days of summer were taken up almost entirely by our hard labour. The night was so short that we had only just time to sleep. It was not the same in winter. According to the regulations, the prisoners had to be shut up in the barracks at nightfall. What was to be done during these long, sad evenings but work? Consequently each barrack, though locked and bolted, assumed the appearance of a large workshop. The work was not, it is true, strictly forbidden, but it was forbidden to have tools, without which work is evidently impossible. But we laboured in secret, and the administration seemed to shut its eyes. Many prisoners arrived without knowing how to make use of their ten fingers; but they learnt a trade from some of their companions, and became excellent workmen.
We had among us cobblers, bootmakers, tailors, masons, locksmiths, and gilders. A Jew named Esau Boumstein was at the same time a jeweller and a usurer. Every one worked, and thus gained a few pence—for many orders came from the town. Money is a tangible resonant liberty, inestimable for a man entirely deprived of true liberty. If he feels some money in his pocket, he consoles himself a little, even though he cannot spend it—but one can always and everywhere spend money, the more so as forbidden fruit is doubly sweet. One can often buy spirits in the convict prison. Although pipes are severely forbidden, every one smokes. Money and tobacco save the convicts from the scurvy, as work saves them from crime—for without work they would mutually have destroyed one another like spiders shut up in a close bottle. Work and money were all the same forbidden. Often during the night severe examinations were made, during which everything that was not legally authorised was confiscated. However successfully the little hoards had been concealed, they were sometimes discovered. That was one of the reasons why they were not kept very long. They were exchanged as soon as possible for drink, which explains how it happened that spirits penetrated into the convict prison. The delinquent was not only deprived of his hoard, but was also cruelly flogged.
A short time after each examination the convicts procured again the objects which had been confiscated, and everything went on as before. The administration knew it; and although the condition of the convicts was a good deal like that of the inhabitants of Vesuvius, they never murmured at the punishment inflicted for these peccadilloes. Those who had no manual skill did business somehow or other. The modes of buying and selling were original enough. Things changed hands which no one expected a convict would ever have thought of selling or buying, or even of regarding as of any value whatever. The least rag had its value, and might be turned to account. In consequence, however, of the poverty of the convicts, money acquired in their eyes a superior value to that really belonging to it.
Long and painful tasks, sometimes of a very complicated kind, brought back a few kopecks. Several of the prisoners lent by the week, and did good business that way. The prisoner who was ruined and insolvent carried to the usurer the few things belonging to him and pledged them for some halfpence, which were lent to him at a fabulous rate of interest. If he did not redeem them at the fixed time the usurer sold them pitilessly by auction, and without the least delay.
Usury flourished so well in our convict prison that money was lent even on things belonging to the Government: linen, boots, etc.—things that were wanted at every moment. When the lender accepted such pledges the affair took an unexpected turn. The proprietor went, immediately after he had received his money, and told the under officer—chief superintendent of the convict prison—that objects belonging to the State were being concealed, on which everything was taken away from the usurer without even the formality of a report to the superior administration. But never was there any quarrel—and that is very curious indeed—between the usurer and the owner. The first gave up in silence, with a morose air, the things demanded from him, as if he had been waiting for the request. Sometimes, perhaps, he confessed to himself that, in the place of the borrower, he would not have acted differently. Accordingly, if he was insulted after this restitution, it was less from hatred than simply as a matter of conscience.
The convicts robbed one another without shame. Each prisoner had his little box fitted with a padlock, in which he kept the things entrusted to him by the administration. Although these boxes were authorised, that did not prevent them from being broken into. The reader can easily imagine what clever thieves were found among us. A prisoner who was sincerely devoted to me—I say it without boasting—stole my Bible from me, the only book allowed in the convict prison. He told me of it the same day, not from repentance, but because he pitied me when he saw me looking for it everywhere. We had among our companions of the chain several convicts called “innkeepers,” who sold spirits, and became comparatively rich by doing so. I shall speak of this further on, for the liquor traffic deserves special study.
A great number of prisoners had been deported for smuggling, which explains how it was that drink was brought secretly into the convict prison, under so severe a surveillance as ours was. In passing it may be remarked that smuggling is an offence apart. Would it be believed that money, the solid profit from the affair, possesses often only secondary importance for the smuggler? It is all the same an authentic fact. He works by vocation. In his style he is a poet. He risks all he possesses, exposes himself to terrible dangers, intrigues, invents, gets out of a scrape, and brings everything to a happy end by a sort of inspiration. This passion is as violent as that of play.
I knew a prisoner of colossal stature who was the mildest, the most peaceable, and most manageable man it was possible to see. We often asked one another how he had been deported. He had such a calm, sociable character, that during the whole time that he passed at the convict prison, he never quarrelled with any one. Born in Western Russia, where he lived on the frontier, he had been sent to hard labour for smuggling. Naturally, then, he could not resist his desire to smuggle spirits into the prison. How many times was he not punished for it, and heaven knows how much he feared the rods. This dangerous trade brought him in but slender profits. It was the speculator who got rich at his expense. Each time he was punished he wept like an old woman, and swore by all that was holy that he would never be caught at such things again. He kept his vow for an entire month, but he ended by yielding once more to his passion. Thanks to these amateurs of smuggling, spirits were always to be had in the convict prison.
Another source of income which, without enriching the prisoners, was constantly and beneficently turned to account, was alms-giving. The upper classes of our Russian society do not know to what an extent merchants, shopkeepers, and our people generally, commiserate the “unfortunate [3]!” Alms were always forthcoming, and consisted generally of little white loaves, sometimes of money, but very rarely. Without alms, the existence of the convicts, and above all that of the accused, who are badly fed, would be too painful. These alms are shared equally between all the prisoners. If the gifts are not sufficient, the little loaves are divided into halves, and sometimes into six pieces, so that each convict may have his share. I remember the first alms, a small piece of money, that I received. A short time after my arrival, one morning, as I was coming back from work with a soldier escort, I met a mother and her daughter, a child of ten, as beautiful as an angel. I had already seen them once before.
The mother was the widow of a poor soldier, who, while still young, had been sentenced by a court-martial, and had died in the infirmary of the convict prison while I was there. They wept hot tears when they came to bid him good-bye. On seeing me the little girl blushed, and murmured a few words into her mother’s ear, who stopped, and took from a basket a kopeck which she gave to the little girl. The little girl ran after me.
“Here, poor man,” she said, “take this in the name of Christ.” I took the money which she slipped into my hand. The little girl returned joyfully to her mother. I preserved that kopeck a considerable time.

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CHAPTER III. FIRST IMPRESSIONS

During the first weeks, and naturally the early part of my imprisonment, made a deep impression on my imagination. The following years on the other hand are all mixed up together, and leave but a confused recollection. Certain epochs of this life are even effaced from my memory. I have kept one general impression of it, always the same; painful, monotonous, stifling. What I saw in experience during the first days of my imprisonment seems to me as if it had all taken place yesterday. Such was sure to be the case. I remember perfectly that in the first place this life astonished me by the very fact that it offered nothing particular, nothing extraordinary, or to express myself better, nothing unexpected. It was not until later on, when I had lived some time in the convict prison, that I understood all that was exceptional and unforeseen in such a life. I was astonished at the discovery. I will avow that this astonishment remained with me throughout my term of punishment. I could not decidedly reconcile myself to this existence.
First of all, I experienced an invincible repugnance on arriving; but oddly enough the life seemed to me less painful than I had imagined on the journey.
Indeed, prisoners, though embarrassed by their irons went to and fro in the prison freely enough. They insulted one another, sang, worked, smoked pipes, and drank spirits. There were not many drinkers all the same. There were also regular card parties during the night. The labour did not seem to me very trying; I fancied that it could not be the real “hard labour.” I did not understand till long afterwards why this labour was really hard and excessive. It was less by reason of its difficulty, than because it was forced, imposed, obligatory; and it was only done through fear of the stick. The peasant works certainly harder than the convict, for, during the summer, he works night and day. But it is in his own interest that he fatigues himself. His aim is reasonable, so that he suffers less than the convict who performs hard labour from which he derives no profit. It once came into my head that if it were desired to reduce a man to nothing—to punish him atrociously, to crush him in such a manner that the most hardened murderer would tremble before such a punishment, and take fright beforehand—it would be necessary to give to his work a character of complete uselessness, even to absurdity.
Hard labour, as it is now carried on, presents no interest to the convict; but it has its utility. The convict makes bricks, digs the earth, builds; and all his occupations have a meaning and an end. Sometimes, even the prisoner takes an interest in what he is doing. He then wishes to work more skilfully, more advantageously. But let him be constrained to pour water from one vessel into another, or to transport a quantity of earth from one place to another, in order to perform the contrary operation immediately afterwards, then I am persuaded that at the end of a few days the prisoner would strangle himself or commit a thousand crimes, punishable with death, rather than live in such an abject condition and endure such torments. It is evident that such punishment would be rather a torture, an atrocious vengeance, than a correction. It would be absurd, for it would have no natural end.
I did not, however, arrive until the winter—in the month of December—and the labour was then unimportant in our fortress. I had no idea of the summer labour—five times as fatiguing. The prisoners, during the winter season, broke up on the Irtitch some old boats belonging to the Government, found occupation in the workshops, took away the snow blown by hurricanes against the buildings, or burned and pounded alabaster. As the day was very short, the work ceased at an early hour, and every one returned to the convict prison, where there was scarcely anything to do, except the supplementary work which the convicts did for themselves.
Scarcely a third of the convicts worked seriously, the others idled their time and wandered about without aim in the barracks, scheming and insulting one another. Those who had a little money got drunk on spirits, or lost what they had saved at gambling. And all this from idleness, weariness, and want of something to do.
I learned, moreover, to know one suffering which is perhaps the sharpest, the most painful that can be experienced in a house of detention apart from laws and liberty. I mean, “forced cohabitation.” Cohabitation is more or less forced everywhere and always; but nowhere is it so horrible as in a prison. There are men there with whom no one would consent to live. I am certain that every convict, unconsciously perhaps, has suffered from this.
The food of the prisoners seemed to me passable; some declared even that it was incomparably better than in any Russian prison. I cannot certify to this, for I was never in prison anywhere else. Many of us, besides, were allowed to procure whatever nourishment we wanted. As fresh meat cost only three kopecks a pound, those who always had money allowed themselves the luxury of eating it. The majority of the prisoners were contented with the regular ration.
When they praised the diet of the convict prison, they were thinking only of the bread, which was distributed at the rate of so much per room, and not individually or by weight. This last condition would have frightened the convicts, for a third of them at least would have constantly suffered from hunger; while, with the system in vogue, every one was satisfied. Our bread was particularly nice, and was even renowned in the town. Its good quality was attributed to the excellent construction of the prison ovens. As for our cabbage-soup, it was cooked and thickened with flour. It didn’t have an appetising appearance. On working days it was clear and thin; but what particularly disgusted me was the way it was served. The prisoners, however, paid no attention to that.
During the three days that followed my arrival, I did not go to work. Some respite was always given to prisoners just arrived, in order to allow them to recover from their fatigue. The second day I had to go out of the convict prison in order to be ironed. My chain was not of the regulation pattern; it was composed of rings, which gave forth a clear sound, so I heard other convicts say. I had to wear them externally over my clothes, whereas my companions had chains formed, not of rings, but of four links, as thick as the finger, and fastened together by three links which were worn beneath the trousers. To the central ring was fastened a strip of leather, tied in its turn to a girdle fastened over the shirt.
I can see again the first morning that I passed in the convict prison. The drum sounded in the orderly room, near the principal entrance. Ten minutes afterwards the under officer opened the barracks. The convicts woke up one after another and rose trembling with cold from their plank bedsteads, by the dull light of a tallow candle. Nearly all of them were morose; they yawned and stretched themselves. Their foreheads, marked by the iron, were contracted. Some made the sign of the Cross; others began to talk nonsense. The cold air from outside rushed in as soon as the door was opened. Then the prisoners hurried round the pails full of water, one after another, and took water in their mouths, and, letting it out into their hands, washed their faces. Those pails had been brought in the night before by a prisoner specially appointed, according to the rules, to clean the barracks.
The convicts chose him themselves. He did not work with the others, for it was his business to examine the camp bedsteads and the floors, to fetch and carry water. This water served in the morning for the prisoners’ ablutions, and the rest during the day for ordinary drinking. That very morning there were disputes on the subject of one of the pitchers.
“What are you doing there with your marked forehead?” grumbled one of the prisoners, tall, dry, and sallow.
He attracted attention by the strange protuberances with which his skull was covered. He pushed against another convict round and small, with a lively rubicund countenance.
“Just wait.”
“What are you crying out about? You know that a fine must be paid when the others are kept waiting. Off with you. What a monument, my brethren!”
“A little calf,” he went on muttering. “See, the white bread of the prison has fattened him.”
“For what do you take yourself? A fine bird, indeed.”
“You are about right.”
“What bird do you mean?”
“You don’t require to be told.”
“How so?”
“Find out.”
They devoured one another with their eyes. The little man, waiting for a reply, with clenched fists, was apparently ready to fight. I thought that an encounter would take place. It was all quite new to me; accordingly I watched the scene with curiosity. Later on I learnt that such quarrels were very innocent, that they served for entertainment. Like an amusing comedy, it scarcely ever ended in blows. This characteristic plainly informed me of the manners of the prisoners.
The tall prisoner remained calm and majestic. He felt that some answer was expected from him, if he was not to be dishonoured, covered with ridicule. It was necessary for him to show that he was a wonderful bird, a personage. Accordingly, he cast a side look on his adversary, endeavouring, with inexpressible contempt, to irritate him by looking at him over his shoulders, up and down, as he would have done with an insect. At last the little fat man was so irritated that he would have thrown himself upon his adversary had not his companions surrounded the combatants to prevent a serious quarrel from taking place.
“Fight with your fists, not with your tongues,” cried a spectator from a corner of the room.
“No, hold them,” answered another, “they are going to fight. We are fine fellows, one against seven is our style.”
Fine fighting men! One was here for having sneaked a pound of bread, the other is a pot-stealer; he was whipped by the executioner for stealing a pot of curdled milk from an old woman.
“Enough, keep quiet,” cried a retired soldier, whose business it was to keep order in the barrack, and who slept in a corner of the room on a bedstead of his own.
“Water, my children, water for Nevalid Petrovitch, water for our little brother, who has just woke up.”
“Your brother! Am I your brother? Did we ever drink a roublesworth of spirits together?” muttered the old soldier as he passed his arms through the sleeves of his great-coat.
The roll was about to be called, for it was already late. The prisoners were hurrying towards the kitchen. They had to put on their pelisses, and were to receive in their bi-coloured caps the bread which one of the cooks—one of the bakers, that is to say—was distributing among them. These cooks, like those who did the household work, were chosen by the prisoners themselves. There were two for the kitchen, making four in all for the convict prison. They had at their disposal the only kitchen-knife authorised in the prison, which was used for cutting up the bread and meat. The prisoners arranged themselves in groups around the tables as best they could in caps and pelisses, with leather girdles round their waists, all ready to begin work. Some of the convicts had kvas before them, in which they steeped pieces of bread. The noise was insupportable. Many of the convicts, however, were talking together in corners with a steady, tranquil air.
“Good-morning and good appetite, Father Antonitch,” said a young prisoner, sitting down by the side of an old man, who had lost his teeth.
“If you are not joking, well, good-morning,” said the latter, without raising his eyes, and endeavouring to masticate a piece of bread with his toothless gums.
“I declare I fancied you were dead, Antonitch.”
“Die first, I will follow you.”
I sat down beside them. On my right two convicts were conversing with an attempt at dignity.
“I am not likely to be robbed,” said one of them. “I am more afraid of stealing myself.”
“It would not be a good idea to rob me. The devil! I should pay the man out.”
“But what would you do, you are only a convict? We have no other name. You will see that she will rob you, the wretch, without even saying, ‘Thank you.’ The money I gave her was wasted. Just fancy, she was here a few days ago! Where were we to go? Shall I ask permission to go into the house of Theodore, the executioner? He has still his house in the suburb, the one he bought from that Solomon, you know, that scurvy Jew who hung himself not long since.”
“Yes, I know him, the one who sold liquor here three years ago, and who was called Grichka—the secret-drinking shop.”
“I know.”
“They all brag. You don’t know. In the first place it is another drinking shop.”
“What do you mean, another? You don’t know what you are talking about. I will bring you as many witnesses as you like.”
“Oh, you will bring them, will you? Who are you? Do you know to whom you are speaking?”
“Yes, indeed.”
“I have often thrashed you, though I don’t boast of it. Do not give yourself airs then.”
“You have thrashed me? The man who will thrash me is not yet born; and the man who did thrash me is six feet beneath the ground.”
“Plague-stricken rascal of Bender?”
“May the Siberian leprosy devour you with ulcers!”
“May a chopper cleave your dog of a head.”
Insults were falling about like rain.
“Come, now, they are going to fight. When men have not been able to conduct themselves properly they should keep silent. They are too glad to come and eat the Government bread, the rascals!”
They were soon separated. Let them fight with the tongue as much as they wish. That is permitted. It is a diversion at the service of every one; but no blows. It is, indeed, only in extraordinary cases that blows were exchanged. If a fight took place, information was given to the Major, who ordered an inquiry or directed one himself; and then woe to the convicts. Accordingly they set their faces against anything like a serious quarrel; besides, they insulted one another chiefly to pass the time, as an oratorical exercise. They get excited; the quarrel takes a furious, ferocious character; they seem about to slaughter one another. Nothing of the kind takes place. As soon as their anger has reached a certain pitch they separate.
That astonished me much, and if I relate some of the conversations between the convicts, I do so with a purpose. Could I have imagined that people could have insulted one another for pleasure, that they could find enjoyment in it?
We must not forget the gratification of vanity. A dialectician, who knows how to insult artistically, is respected. A little more, and he would be applauded like an actor.
Already, the night before, I noticed some glances in my direction. On the other hand, several convicts hung around me as if they had suspected that I had brought money with me. They endeavoured to get into my good graces by teaching me how to carry my irons without being incommoded. They also gave me—of course in return for money—a box with a lock, in order to keep safe the things which had been entrusted to me by the administration, and the few shirts that I had been allowed to bring with me to the convict prison. Not later than next morning these same prisoners stole my box, and drank the money which they had taken out of it.
One of them became afterwards a great friend of mine, though he robbed me whenever an opportunity offered itself. He was, all the same, vexed at what he had done. He committed these thefts almost unconsciously, as if in the way of a duty. Consequently I bore him no grudge.
These convicts let me know that one could have tea, and that I should do well to get myself a teapot. They found me one, which I hired for a certain time. They also recommended me a cook, who, for thirty kopecks a month, would arrange the dishes I might desire, if it was my intention to buy provisions and take my meals apart. Of course they borrowed money from me. The day of my arrival they asked me for some at three different times.
The noblemen degraded from their position, here incarcerated in the convict prison, were badly looked upon by their fellow prisoners; although they had lost all their rights like the other convicts, they were not looked upon as comrades.
In this instinctive repugnance there was a sort of reason. To them we were always gentlemen, although they often laughed at our fall.
“Ah! it’s all over now. Mossieu’s carriage formerly crushed the passers-by at Moscow. Now Mossieu picks hemp!”
They knew our sufferings, though we hid them as much as possible. It was, above all, when we were all working together that we had most to endure, for our strength was not so great as theirs, and we were really not of much assistance to them. Nothing is more difficult than to gain the confidence of the common people; above all, such people as these!
There were only a few of us who were of noble birth in the whole prison. First, there were five Poles—of whom further on I shall speak in detail—they were detested by the convicts more, perhaps, than the Russian nobles. The Poles—I speak only of the political convicts—always behaved to them with a constrained and offensive politeness, scarcely ever speaking to them, and making no endeavour to conceal the disgust which they experienced in such company. The convicts understood all this, and paid them back in their own coin.
Two years passed before I could gain the good-will of my companions; but the greater part of them were attached to me, and declared that I was a good fellow.
There were altogether—counting myself—five Russian nobles in the convict prison. I had heard of one of them even before my arrival as a vile and base creature, horribly corrupt, doing the work of spy and informer. Accordingly, from the very first day I refused to enter into relations with this man. The second was the parricide of whom I have spoken in these memoirs. The third was Akimitch. I have scarcely ever seen such an original; and I have still a lively recollection of him.
Tall, thin, weak-minded, and terribly ignorant, he was as argumentative and as particular about details as a German. The convicts laughed at him; but they feared him, on account of his susceptible, excitable, and quarrelsome disposition. As soon as he arrived, he was on a footing of perfect equality with them. He insulted them and beat them. Phenomenally just, it was sufficient for him that there was injustice, to interfere in an affair which did not concern him. He was, moreover, exceedingly simple. When he quarrelled with the convicts, he reproached them with being thieves, and exhorted them in all sincerity to steal no more. He had served as a sub-lieutenant in the Caucasus. I made friends with him the first day, and he related to me his “affair.” He had begun as a cadet in a Line regiment. After waiting some time to be appointed to his commission as sub-lieutenant, he at last received it, and was sent into the mountains to command a small fort. A small tributary prince in the neighbourhood set fire to the fort, and made a night attack, which had no success.
Akimitch was very cunning, and pretended not to know that he was the author of the attack, which he attributed to some insurgents wandering about the mountains. After a month he invited the prince, in a friendly way, to come and see him. The prince arrived on horseback, without suspecting anything. Akimitch drew up his garrison in line of battle, and exposed to the soldiers the treason and villainy of his visitor. He reproached him with his conduct; proved to him that to set fire to the fort was a shameful crime; explained to him minutely the duties of a tributary prince; and then, by way of peroration to his harangue, had him shot. He at once informed his superior officers of this execution, with all the details necessary. Thereupon Akimitch was brought to trial. He appeared before a court-martial, and was condemned to death; but his sentence was commuted, and he was sent to Siberia as a convict of the second class—condemned, that is to say, to twelve years’ hard labour and imprisonment in a fortress. He admitted willingly that he had acted illegally, and that the prince ought to have been tried in a civil court, and not by a court-martial. Nevertheless, he could not understand that his action was a crime.
“He had burned my fort; what was I to do? Was I to thank him for it?” he answered to my objections.
Although the convicts laughed at Akimitch, and pretended that he was a little mad, they esteemed him all the same by reason of his cleverness and his precision.
He knew all possible trades, and could do whatever you wished. He was cobbler, bootmaker, painter, carver, gilder, and locksmith. He had acquired these talents at the convict prison, for it was sufficient for him to see an object, in order to imitate it. He sold in the town, or caused to be sold, baskets, lanterns, and toys. Thanks to his work, he had always some money, which he employed in buying shirts, pillows, and so on. He had himself made a mattress, and as he slept in the same room as myself he was very useful to me at the beginning of my imprisonment. Before leaving prison to go to work, the convicts were drawn up in two ranks before the orderly-room, surrounded by an escort of soldiers with loaded muskets. An officer of Engineers then arrived, with the superintendent of the works and a few soldiers, who watched the operations. The superintendent counted the convicts, and sent them in bands to the places where they were to be occupied.
I went with some other prisoners to the workshop of the Engineers—a low brick house built in the midst of a large court-yard full of materials. There was a forge there, and carpenters’, locksmiths’, and painters’ workshops. Akimitch was assigned to the last. He boiled the oil for the varnish, mixed the colours, and painted tables and other pieces of furniture in imitation walnut.
While I was waiting to have additional irons put on, I communicated to him my first impressions.
“Yes,” he said, “they do not like nobles, above all those who have been condemned for political offences, and they take a pleasure in wounding their feelings. Is it not intelligible? We do not belong to them, we do not suit them. They have all been serfs or soldiers. Tell me what sympathy can they have for us. The life here is hard, but it is nothing in comparison with that of the disciplinary companies in Russia. There it is hell. The men who have been in them praise our convict prison. It is paradise compared to their purgatory. Not that the work is harder. It is said that with the convicts of the first class the administration—it is not exclusively military as it is here—acts quite differently from what it does towards us. They have their little houses there I have been told, for I have not seen for myself. They wear no uniform, their heads are not shaved, though, in my opinion, uniforms and shaved heads are not bad things; it is neater, and also it is more agreeable to the eye, only these men do not like it. Oh, what a Babel this place is! Soldiers, Circassians, old believers, peasants who have left their wives and families, Jews, Gypsies, people come from Heaven knows where, and all this variety of men are to live quietly together side by side, eat from the same dish, and sleep on the same planks. Not a moment’s liberty, no enjoyment except in secret; they must hide their money in their boots; and then always the convict prison at every moment—perpetually convict prison! Involuntarily wild ideas come to one.”
As I already knew all this, I was above all anxious to question Akimitch in regard to our Major. He concealed nothing, and the impression which his story left upon me was far from being an agreeable one.
I had to live for two years under the authority of this officer. All that Akimitch had told me about him was strictly true. He was a spiteful, ill-regulated man, terrible above all things, because he possessed almost absolute power over two hundred human beings. He looked upon the prisoners as his personal enemies—first, and very serious fault. His rare capacities, and, perhaps, even his good qualities, were perverted by his intemperance and his spitefulness. He sometimes fell like a bombshell into the barracks in the middle of the night. If he noticed a prisoner asleep on his back or his left side, he awoke him and said to him: “You must sleep as I ordered!” The convicts detested him and feared him like the plague. His repulsive, crimson countenance made every one tremble. We all knew that the Major was entirely in the hands of his servant Fedka, and that he had nearly gone mad when his dog “Treasure” fell ill. He preferred this dog to every other living creature.
When Fedka told him that a convict, who had picked up some veterinary knowledge, made wonderful cures, he sent for him directly and said to him, “I entrust my dog to your care. If you cure ‘Treasure’ I will reward you royally.” The man, a very intelligent Siberian peasant, was indeed a good veterinary surgeon, but he was above all a cunning peasant. He used to tell his comrades long after the affair had taken place the story of his visit to the Major.
“I looked at ‘Treasure,’ he was lying down on a sofa with his head on a white cushion. I saw at once that he had inflammation, and that he wanted bleeding. I think I could have cured him, but I said to myself, ‘What will happen if the dog dies? It will be my fault.’ ‘No, your noble highness,’ I said to him, ‘you have called me too late. If I had seen your dog yesterday or the day before, he would now be restored to health; but at the present moment I can do nothing. He will die.’ And ‘Treasure’ died.”
I was told one day that a convict had tried to kill the Major. This prisoner had for several years been noticed for his submissive attitude and also his silence. He was regarded even as a madman. As he possessed some instruction he passed his nights reading the Bible. When everybody was asleep he rose, climbed up on to the stove, lit a church taper, opened his Gospel and began to read. He did this for an entire year.
One fine day he left the ranks and declared that he would not go to work. He was reported to the Major, who flew into a rage, and hurried to the barracks. The convict rushed forward and hurled at him a brick, which he had procured beforehand; but it missed him. The prisoner was seized, tried, and whipped—it was a matter of a few moments—carried to the hospital, and died there three days afterwards. He declared during his last moments that he hated no one; but that he had wished to suffer. He belonged to no sect of fanatics. Afterwards, when people spoke of him in the barracks, it was always with respect.
At last they put new irons on me. While they were being soldered a number of young women, selling little white loaves, came into the forge one after another. They were, for the most part, quite little girls who came to sell the loaves that their mothers had baked. As they got older they still continued to hang about us, but they no longer brought bread. There were always some of them about. There were also married women. Each roll cost two kopecks. Nearly all the prisoners used to have them. I noticed a prisoner who worked as a carpenter. He was already getting gray, but he had a ruddy, smiling complexion. He was joking with the vendors of rolls. Before they arrived he had tied a red handkerchief round his neck. A fat woman, much marked with the small-pox, put down her basket on the carpenter’s table. They began to talk.
“Why did you not come yesterday?” said the convict, with a self-satisfied smile.
“I did come; but you had gone,” replied the woman boldly.
“Yes; they made us go away, otherwise we should have met. The day before yesterday they all came to see me.”
“Who came?”
“Why, Mariashka, Khavroshka, Tchekunda, Dougrochva” (the woman of four kopecks).
“What,” I said to Akimitch, “is it possible that——?”
“Yes; it happens sometimes,” he replied, lowering his eyes, for he was a very proper man.
Yes; it happened sometimes, but rarely, and with unheard of difficulties. The convicts preferred to spend their money in drink. It was very difficult to meet these women. It was necessary to come to an agreement about the place, and the time; to arrange a meeting, to find solitude, and, what was most difficult of all, to avoid the escorts—almost an impossibility—and to spend relatively prodigious sums. I have sometimes, however, witnessed love scenes. One day three of us were heating a brick-kiln on the banks of the Irtitch. The soldiers of the escort were good-natured fellows. Two “blowers” (they were so-called) soon appeared.
“Where were you staying so long?” said a prisoner to them, who had evidently been expecting them. “Was it at the Zvierkoffs that you were detained?”
“At the Zvierkoffs? It will be fine weather, and the fowls will have teeth, when I go to see them,” replied one of the women.
She was the dirtiest woman imaginable. She was called Tchekunda, and had arrived in company with her friend, the “four kopecks,” who was beneath all description.
“It’s a long time since we have seen anything of you,” says the gallant to her of the four kopecks; “you seem to have grown thinner.”
“Perhaps; formerly I was good-looking and plump, whereas now one might fancy I had swallowed eels.”
“And you still run after the soldiers, is that so?”
“All calumny on the part of wicked people; and after all, if I was to be flogged to death for it, I like soldiers.”
“Never mind your soldiers, we’re the people to love; we have money.”
Imagine this gallant with his shaved crown, with fetters on his ankles, dressed in a coat of two colours, and watched by an escort.
As I was now returning to the prison, my irons had been put on. I wished Akimitch good-bye and went away, escorted by a soldier. Those who do task work return first, and, when I got back to the barracks, a good number of convicts were already there.
As the kitchen could not have held the whole barrack-full at once, we did not all dine together. Those who came in first were first served. I tasted the cabbage soup, but, not being used to it, could not eat it, and I prepared myself some tea. I sat down at one end of the table, with a convict of noble birth like myself. The prisoners were going in and out. There was no want of room, for there were not many of them. Five of them sat down apart from the large table. The cook gave them each two ladles full of soup, and brought them a plate of fried fish. These men were having a holiday. They looked at us in a friendly manner. One of the Poles came in and took his seat by our side.
“I was not with you, but I know that you are having a feast,” exclaimed a tall convict who now came in.
He was a man of about fifty years, thin and muscular. His face indicated cunning, and, at the same time, liveliness. His lower lip, fleshy and pendant, gave him a soft expression.
“Well, have you slept well? Why don’t you say how do you do? Well, now my friends of Kursk,” he said, sitting down by the side of the feasters, “good appetite? Here’s a new guest for you.”
“We are not from the province of Kursk.”
“Then my friends from Tambof, let me say?”
“We are not from Tambof either. You have nothing to claim from us; if you want to enjoy yourself go to some rich peasant.”
“I have Maria Ikotishna [4] in my belly, otherwise I should die of hunger. But where is your peasant to be found?”
“Good heavens! we mean Gazin; go to him.”
“Gazin is on the drink to-day, he’s devouring his capital.”
“He has at least twenty roubles,” says another convict. “It is profitable to keep a drinking shop.”
“You won’t have me? Then I must eat the Government food.”
“Will you have some tea? If so, ask these noblemen for some.”
“Where do you see any noblemen? They’re noblemen no longer. They’re not a bit better than us,” said in a sombre voice a convict who was seated in the corner, who hitherto had not risked a word.
“I should like a cup of tea, but I am ashamed to ask for it. I have self-respect,” said the convict with the heavy lip, looking at me with a good-humoured air.
“I will give you some if you like,” I said. “Will you have some?”
“What do you mean—will I have some? Who would not have some?” he said, coming towards the table.
“Only think! When he was free he ate nothing but cabbage soup and black bread, but now he is in prison he must have tea like a perfect gentleman,” continued the convict with the sombre air.
“Does no one here drink tea?” I asked him; but he did not think me worthy of a reply.
“White rolls, white rolls; who’ll buy?”
A young prisoner was carrying in a net a load of calachi (scones), which he proposed to sell in the prison. For every ten that he sold, the baker gave him one for his trouble. It was precisely on this tenth scone that he counted for his dinner.
“White rolls, white rolls,” he cried, as he entered the kitchen, “white Moscow rolls, all hot. I would eat the whole of them, but I want money, lots of money. Come, lads, there is only one left for any of you who has had a mother.”
This appeal to filial love made every one laugh, and several of his white rolls were purchased.
“Well,” he said, “Gazin has drunk in such a style, it is quite a sin. He has chosen a nice moment too. If the man with the eight eyes should arrive—we shall hide him.”
“Is he very drunk?”
“Yes, and ill-tempered too—unmanageable.”
“There will be some fighting, then?”
“Whom are they speaking of?” I said to the Pole, my neighbour.
“Of Gazin. He is a prisoner who sells spirits. When he has gained a little money by his trade, he drinks it to the last kopeck; a cruel, malicious animal when he has been drinking. When sober, he is quiet enough, but when he is in drink he shows himself in his true character. He attacks people with the knife until it is taken from him.”
“How do they manage that?”
“Ten men throw themselves upon him and beat him like a sack without mercy until he loses consciousness. When he is half dead with the beating, they lay him down on his plank bedstead, and cover him over with his pelisse.”
“But they might kill him.”
“Any one else would die of it, but not he. He is excessively robust; he is the strongest of all the convicts. His constitution is so solid, that the day after one of these punishments he gets up perfectly sound.”
“Tell me, please,” I continued, speaking to the Pole, “why these people keep their food to themselves, and at the same time seem to envy me my tea.”
“Your tea has nothing to do with it. They are envious of you. Are you not a gentleman? You in no way resemble them. They would be glad to pick a quarrel with you in order to humiliate you. You don’t know what annoyances you will have to undergo. It is martyrdom for men like us to be here. Our life is doubly painful, and great strength of character can alone accustom one to it. You will be vexed and tormented in all sorts of ways on account of your food and your tea. Although the number of men who buy their own food and drink tea daily is large enough, they have a right to do so, you have not.”
He got up and left the table a few minutes later. His predictions were already being fulfilled.

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CHAPTER IV. FIRST IMPRESSIONS (continued).

Hardly had M. —cki—the Pole to whom I had been speaking—gone out when Gazin, completely drunk, threw himself all in a heap into the kitchen.
To see a convict drunk in the middle of the day, when every one was about to be sent out to work—given the well-known severity of the Major, who at any moment might come to the barracks, the watchfulness of the under officer who never left the prison, the presence of the old soldiers and the sentinels—all this quite upset the ideas I had formed of our prison; and a long time passed before I was able to understand and explain to myself the effects, which in the first instance were enigmatic indeed.
I have already said that all the convicts had a private occupation, and that this occupation was for them a natural and imperious one. They are passionately fond of money, and think more of it than of anything else—almost as much as of liberty. The convict is half-consoled if he can ring a few kopecks in his pocket. On the contrary, he is sad, restless, and despondent if he has no money. He is ready then to commit no matter what crime in order to get some. Nevertheless, in spite of the importance it possesses for the convicts, money does not remain long in their pockets. It is difficult to keep it. Sometimes it is confiscated, sometimes stolen. When the Major, in a sudden perquisition, discovered a small sum amassed with great trouble, he confiscated it. It may be that he laid it out in improving the food of the prisoners, for all the money taken from them went into his hands. But generally speaking it was stolen. A means of preserving it was, however, discovered. An old man from Starodoub, one of the “old believers,” took upon himself to conceal the convicts’ savings.
I cannot resist my desire to say some words about this man, although it takes me away from my story. He was about sixty years old, thin, and getting very gray. He excited my curiosity the first time I saw him, for he was not like any of the others; his look was so tranquil and mild, and I always saw with pleasure his clear and limpid eyes, surrounded by a number of little wrinkles. I often talked with him, and rarely have I met with so kind, so benevolent a being. He had been consigned to hard labour for a serious crime. A certain number of the “old believers” at Starodoub had been converted to the orthodox religion. The Government had done everything to encourage them, and, at the same time, to convert the other dissenters. The old man and some other fanatics had resolved to “defend the faith.” When the orthodox church was being constructed in their town they set fire to the building. This offence had brought upon its author the sentence of deportation. This well-to-do shopkeeper—he was in trade—had left a wife and family whom he loved, and had gone off courageously into exile, believing in his blindness that he was “suffering for the faith.”
When one had lived some time by the side of this kind old man, one could not help asking the question, how could he have rebelled? I spoke to him several times about his faith. He gave up none of his convictions, but in his answers I never noticed the slightest hatred; and yet he had destroyed a church, and was far from denying it. In his view, the offence he had committed and his martyrdom were things to be proud of.
There were other “old believers” among the convicts—Siberians for the most part—men of well-developed intelligence, and as cunning as all peasants. Dialecticians in their way, they followed blindly their law, and delighted in discussing it. But they had great faults; they were haughty, proud, and very intolerant. The old man in no way resembled them. With full more belief in religious exposition than others of the same faith, he avoided all controversy. As he was of a gay and expansive disposition he often laughed—not with the coarse cynical laugh of the other convicts, but with a laugh of clearness and simplicity, in which there was something of the child, and which harmonised perfectly with his gray head. I may perhaps be in error, but it seems to me that a man may be known by his laugh alone. If the laugh of a man you are acquainted with inspires you with sympathy, be assured that he is an honest man.
The old man had acquired the respect of all the prisoners without exception; but he was not proud of it. The convicts called him grandfather, and he took no offence. I then understood what an influence he must have exercised on his co-religionists.
In spite of the firmness with which he supported his prison life, one felt that he was tormented by a profound, incurable melancholy. I slept in the same barrack with him. One night, towards three o’clock in the morning, I woke up; I heard a slow, stifling sob. The old man was sitting upon the stove—the same place where the convict who had wished to kill the Major was in the habit of praying—and was reading from his manuscript prayer-book. As he wept I heard him repeating: “Lord, do not forsake me. Master, strengthen me. My poor little children, my dear little children, we shall never see one another again.” I cannot say how much this moved me.
We used to give our money then to this old man. Heaven knows how the idea got abroad in our barrack that he could not be robbed. It was well known that he hid somewhere the savings deposited with him, but no one had been able to discover his secret. He revealed it to us; to the Poles, and myself. One of the stakes of the palisade bore a branch which apparently belonged to it, but it could be taken away, and then replaced in the stake. When the branch was removed a hole could be seen. This was the hiding-place in question.
I now resume the thread of my narrative. Why does not the convict save up his money? Not only is it difficult for him to keep it, but the prison life, moreover, is so sad that the convict by his very nature thirsts for freedom of action. By his position in society he is so irregular a being that the idea of swallowing up his capital in orgies, of intoxicating himself with revelry, seems to him quite natural if only he can procure himself one moment’s forgetfulness. It was strange to see certain individuals bent over their labour only with the object of spending in one day all their gains, even to the last kopeck. Then they would go to work again until a new debauch, looked forward to months beforehand. Certain convicts were fond of new clothes, more or less singular in style, such as fancy trousers and waistcoats; but it was above all for the coloured shirts that the convicts had a pronounced taste; also for belts with metal clasps.
On holidays the dandies of the prison put on their Sunday best. They were worth seeing as they strutted about their part of the barracks. The pleasure of feeling themselves well dressed amounted with them to childishness; indeed, in many things convicts are only children. Their fine clothes disappeared very soon, often the evening of the very day on which they had been bought. Their owners pledged them or sold them again for a trifle.
The feasts were generally held at fixed times. They coincided with religious festivals, or with the name-day of the drunken convict. On getting up in the morning he would place a wax taper before the holy image, then he said his prayer, dressed, and ordered his dinner. He had bought beforehand meat, fish, and little patties; then he gorged like an ox, almost always alone. It was very rare to see a convict invite another convict to share his repast. At dinner the vodka was produced. The convict would suck it up like the sole of a boot, and then walk through the barracks swaggering and tottering. It was his desire to show all his companions that he was drunk, that he was carrying on, and thus obtain their particular esteem.
The Russian people feel always a certain sympathy for a drunken man; among us it amounted really to esteem. In the convict prison intoxication was a sort of aristocratic distinction.
As soon as he felt himself in spirits the convict ordered a musician. We had among us a little fellow—a deserter from the army—very ugly, but who was the happy possessor of a violin on which he could play. As he had no trade he was always ready to follow the festive convict from barrack to barrack grinding him out dance tunes with all his strength. His countenance often expressed the fatigue and disgust which his music—always the same—caused him; but when the prisoner called out to him, “Go on playing, are you not paid for it?” he attacked his violin more violently than ever. These drunkards felt sure that they would be taken care of, and in case of the Major arriving would be concealed from his watchful eyes. This service we rendered in the most disinterested spirit. On their side the under officer, and the old soldiers who remained in the prison to keep order, were perfectly reassured. The drunkard would cause no disturbance. At the least scare of revolt or riot he would have been quieted and then bound. Accordingly the inferior officers closed their eyes; they knew that if vodka was forbidden all would go wrong. How was this vodka procured?
It was bought in the convict prison itself from the drink-sellers, as they were called, who followed this trade—a very lucrative one—although the tipplers were not very numerous, for revelry was expensive, especially when it is considered how hardly money was earned. The drink business was begun, continued, and ended in rather an original manner. The prisoner who knew no trade, would not work, and who, nevertheless, desired to get speedily rich, made up his mind, when he possessed a little money, to buy and sell vodka. The enterprise was risky, it required great daring, for the speculator hazarded his skin as well as liquor. But the drink-seller hesitated before no obstacles. At the outset he brought the vodka himself to the prison and got rid of it on the most advantageous terms. He repeated this operation a second and a third time. If he had not been discovered by the officials, he now possessed a sum which enabled him to extend his business. He became a capitalist with agents and assistants, he risked much less and gained much more. Then his assistants incurred risk in place of him.
Prisons are always abundantly inhabited by ruined men without the habit of work, but endowed with skill and daring; their only capital is their back. They often decide to put it into circulation, and propose to the drink-seller to introduce vodka into the barracks. There is always in the town a soldier, a shopkeeper, or some loose woman who, for a stipulated sum—rather a small one—buys vodka with the drink-seller’s money, hides it in a place known to the convict-smuggler, near the workshop where he is employed. The person who supplies the vodka, tastes the precious liquid almost always as he is carrying it to the hiding-place, and replaces relentlessly what he has drunk by pure water. The purchaser may take it or leave it, but he cannot give himself airs. He thinks himself very lucky that his money has not been stolen from him, and that he has received some kind of vodka in exchange. The man who is to take it into the prison—to whom the drink-seller has indicated the hiding-place—goes to the supplier with bullock’s intestines which after being washed, have been filled with water, and which thus preserves their softness and suppleness. When the intestines have been filled with vodka, the smuggler rolls them round his body. Now, all the cunning, the adroitness of this daring convict is shown. The man’s honour is at stake. It is necessary for him to take in the escort and the man on guard; and he will take them in. If the carrier is artful, the soldier of the escort—sometimes a recruit—does not notice anything particular; for the prisoner has studied him thoroughly, besides which he has artfully combined the hour and the place of meeting. If the convict—a bricklayer for example—climbs up on the wall that he is building, the escort will certainly not climb up after him to watch his movements. Who then, will see what he is about? On getting near the prison, he gets ready a piece of fifteen or twenty kopecks, and waits at the gate for the corporal on guard.
The corporal examines, feels, and searches each convict on his return to the barracks, and then opens the gate to him. The carrier of the vodka hopes that he will be ashamed to examine him too much in detail; but if the corporal is a cunning fellow, that is just what he will do; and in that case he finds the contraband vodka. The convict has now only one chance of salvation. He slips into the hand of the under officer the piece of money he holds in readiness, and often, thanks to this manœuvre, the vodka arrives safely in the hands of the drink-seller. But sometimes the trick does not succeed, and it is then that the sole capital of the smuggler enters really into circulation. A report is made to the Major, who sentences the unhappy culprit to a thorough flogging. As for the vodka, it is confiscated. The smuggler undergoes his punishment without betraying the speculator, not because such a denunciation would disgrace him, but because it would bring him nothing. He would be flogged all the same, the only consolation he could have would be that the drink-seller would share his punishment; but as he needs him, he does not denounce him, although having allowed himself to be surprised, he will receive no payment from him.
Denunciation, however, flourishes in the convict prison. Far from hating spies or keeping apart from them, the prisoners often make friends of them. If any one had taken it into his head to prove to the convicts all the baseness of mutual denunciation, no one in the prison would have understood. The former nobleman of whom I have already spoken, that cowardly and violent creature with whom I had already broken off all relations immediately after my arrival in the fortress, was the friend of Fedka, the Major’s body-servant. He used to tell him everything that took place in the convict prison, and this was naturally carried back to the servant’s master. Every one knew it, but no one had the idea of showing any ill-will against the man, or of reproaching him with his conduct. When the vodka arrived without accident at the prison, the speculator paid the smuggler and made up his accounts. His merchandise had already cost him sufficiently dear; and that the profit might be greater, he diluted it by adding fifty per cent. of pure water. He was ready, and had only to wait for customers.
The first holiday, perhaps even on a week-day, a convict would turn up. He had been working like a negro for many months in order to save up, kopeck by kopeck, a small sum which he was resolved to spend all at once. These days of rejoicing had been looked forward to long beforehand. He had dreamt of them during the endless winter nights, during his hardest labour, and the perspective had supported him under his severest trials. The dawn of this day so impatiently awaited, has just appeared. He has some money in his pocket. It has been neither stolen from him nor confiscated. He is free to spend it. Accordingly he takes his savings to the drink-seller, who, to begin with, gives vodka which is almost pure—it has been only twice baptized—but gradually, as the bottle gets more and more empty, he fills it up with water. Accordingly the convict pays for his vodka five or six times as much as he would in a tavern.
It may be imagined how many glasses, and, above all, what sums of money are required before the convict is drunk. However, as he has lost the habit of drinking, the little alcohol which remains in the liquid intoxicates him rapidly enough; he goes on drinking until there is nothing left; he pledges or sells all his new clothes—for the drink-seller is at the same time a pawnbroker. As his personal garments are not very numerous he next pledges the clothes supplied to him by the Government. When the drink has made away with his last shirt, his last rag, he lies down and wakes up the next morning with a bad headache. In vain he begs the drink-seller to give him credit for a drop of vodka in order to remove his depression; he experiences a direct refusal. That very day he sets to work again. For several months together, he will weary himself out while looking forward to such a debauch as the one which has now disappeared in the past. Little by little he regains courage while waiting for such another day, still far off, but which ultimately will arrive. As for the drink-seller, if he has gained a large sum—some dozen of roubles—he procures some more vodka, but this time he does not baptize it, because he intends it for himself. Enough of trade! it is time for him to amuse himself. Accordingly he eats, drinks, pays for a little music—his means allow him to grease the palm of the inferior officers in the convict prison. This festival lasts sometimes for several days. When his stock of vodka is exhausted, he goes and drinks with the other drink-sellers who are waiting for him; he then drinks up his last kopeck.
However careful the convicts may be in watching over their companions in debauchery, it sometimes happens that the Major or the officer on guard notices what is going on. The drunkard is then dragged to the orderly-room, his money is confiscated if he has any left, and he is flogged. The convict shakes himself like a beaten dog, returns to barracks, and, after a few days, resumes his trade as drink-seller.
It sometimes happens that among the convicts there are admirers of the fair sex. For a sufficiently large sum of money they succeed, accompanied by a soldier whom they have corrupted, in getting secretly out of the fortress into a suburb instead of going to work. There in an apparently quiet house a banquet is held at which large sums of money are spent. The convicts’ money is not to be despised, accordingly the soldiers will sometimes arrange these temporary escapes beforehand, sure as they are of being generously recompensed. Generally speaking these soldiers are themselves candidates for the convict prison. The escapades are scarcely ever discovered. I must add that they are very rare, for they are very expensive, and the admirers of the fair sex are obliged to have recourse to other less costly means.
At the beginning of my stay, a young convict with very regular features excited my curiosity; his name was Sirotkin, he was in many respects an enigmatic being. His face had struck me, he was not more than twenty-three years of age, and he belonged to the special section; that is to say, he was condemned to hard labour in perpetuity. He accordingly was to be looked upon as one of the most dangerous of military criminals. Mild and tranquil, he spoke little and rarely laughed; his blue eyes, his clear complexion, his fair hair gave him a soft expression, which even his shaven crown did not destroy. Although he had no trade, he managed to get himself money from time to time. He was remarkably lazy, and always dressed like a sloven; but if any one was generous enough to present him with a red shirt, he was beside himself with joy at having a new garment, and he exhibited it everywhere. Sirotkin neither drank nor played, and he scarcely ever quarrelled with the other convicts. He walked about with his hands in his pockets peacefully, and with a pensive air. What he was thinking of I cannot say. When any one called to him, to ask him a question, he replied with deference, precisely, without chattering like the others. He had in his eyes the expression of a child of ten; when he had money he bought nothing of what the others looked upon as indispensable. His vest might be torn, he did not get it mended, any more than he bought himself new boots. What particularly pleased him were the little white rolls and gingerbread, which he would eat with the satisfaction of a child of seven. When he was not at work he wandered about the barracks; when every one else was occupied, he remained with his arms by his sides; if any one joked with him, or laughed at him—which happened often enough—he turned on his heel without speaking and went elsewhere. If the pleasantry was too strong he blushed. I often asked myself for what crime he could have been condemned to hard labour. One day when I was ill, and lying in the hospital, Sirotkin was also there, stretched out on a bedstead not far from me. I entered into conversation with him; he became animated, and told me freely how he had been taken for a soldier, how his mother had followed him in tears, and what treatment he had endured in military service. He added that he had never been able to accustom himself to this life; every one was severe and angry with him about nothing, his officers were always against him.
“But why did they send you here?—and into the special section above all! Ah, Sirotkin!”
“Yes, Alexander Petrovitch, although I was only one year with the battalion, I was sent here for killing my captain, Gregory Petrovitch.”
“I heard about that, but I did not believe it; how was it that you killed him?”
“All that was told you was true; my life was insupportable.”
“But the other recruits supported it well enough. It is very hard at the beginning, but men get accustomed to it and end by becoming excellent soldiers. Your mother must have pampered you and spoiled you. I am sure that she fed you with gingerbread and with sweet milk until you were eighteen.”
“My mother, it is true, was very fond of me. When I left her she took to her bed and remained there. How painful to me everything in my military life was; after that all went wrong. I was perpetually being punished, and why? I obeyed every one, I was exact, careful. I did not drink, I borrowed from no one—it’s all up with a man when he begins to borrow—and yet every one around me was harsh and cruel. I sometimes hid myself in a corner and did nothing but sob. One day, or rather one night, I was on guard. It was autumn: there was a strong wind, and it was so dark that you could not see a speck, and I was sad, so sad! I took the bayonet from the end of my musket and placed it by my side. Then I put the barrel to my breast and with my big toe—I had taken my boot off—pressed the trigger. It missed fire. I looked at my musket and loaded it with a charge of fresh powder. Then I broke off the corner of my flint, and once more I placed the muzzle against my breast. Again there was a misfire. What was I to do? I said to myself. I put my boot on, I fastened my bayonet to the barrel, and walked up and down with my musket on my shoulder. Let them do what they like, I said to myself; but I will not be a soldier any longer. Half-an-hour afterwards the captain arrived, making his rounds. He came straight upon me. ‘Is that the way you carry yourself when you are on guard?’ I seized my musket, and stuck the bayonet into his body. Then I had to walk forty-six versts. That is how I came to be in the special section.”
He was telling no falsehood, yet I did not understand how they could have sent him there; such crimes deserve a much less severe punishment. Sirotkin was the only one of the convicts who was really handsome. As for his companions of the special section—to the number of fifteen—they were frightful to behold with their hideous, disgusting physiognomies. Gray heads were plentiful among them. I shall speak of these men further on. Sirotkin was often on good terms with Gazin, the drink-seller, of whom I have already spoken at the beginning of this chapter.
This Gazin was a terrible being; the impression that he produced on every one was confusing or appalling. It seemed to me that a more ferocious, a more monstrous creature could not exist. Yet I have seen at Tobolsk, Kameneff, the brigand, celebrated for his crimes. Later, I saw Sokoloff, the escaped convict, formerly a deserter, who was a ferocious creature; but neither of them inspired me with so much disgust as Gazin. I often fancied that I had before my eyes an enormous, gigantic spider of the size of a man. He was a Tartar, and there was no convict so strong as he was. It was less by his great height and his herculean construction, than by his enormous and deformed head, that he inspired terror. The strangest reports were current about him. Some said that he had been a soldier, others that he had escaped from Nertchinsk, and that he had been exiled several times to Siberia, but had always succeeded in getting away. Landing at last in our convict prison, he belonged there to the special section. It appeared that he had taken a pleasure in killing little children when he had attracted them to some deserted place; then he frightened them, tortured them, and after having fully enjoyed the terror and the convulsions of the poor little things, he killed them resolutely and with delight. These horrors had perhaps been imagined by reason of the painful impression that the monster produced upon us; but they seemed probable, and harmonised with his physiognomy. Nevertheless, when Gazin was not drunk, he conducted himself well enough.
He was always quiet, never quarrelled, avoided all disputes as if from contempt for his companions, just as though he had entertained a high opinion of himself. He spoke very little, all his movements were measured, calm, resolute. His look was not without intelligence, but its expression was cruel and derisive like his smile. Of all the convicts who sold vodka, he was the richest. Twice a year he got completely drunk, and it was then that all his brutal ferocity exhibited itself. Little by little he got excited, and began to tease the prisoners with venomous satire prepared long beforehand. Finally when he was quite drunk, he had attacks of furious rage, and, seizing a knife, would rush upon his companions. The convicts who knew his herculean vigour, avoided him and protected themselves against him, for he would throw himself on the first person he met. A means of disarming him had been discovered. Some dozen prisoners would rush suddenly upon Gazin, and give him violent blows in the pit of the stomach, in the belly, and generally beneath the region of the heart, until he lost consciousness. Any one else would have died under such treatment, but Gazin soon got well. When he had been well beaten they would wrap him up in his pelisse, and throw him upon his plank bedstead, leaving him to digest his drink. The next day he woke up almost well, and went to his work silent and sombre. Every time that Gazin got drunk, all the prisoners knew how his day would finish. He knew also, but he drank all the same. Several years passed in this way. Then it was noticed that Gazin had lost his energy, and that he was beginning to get weak. He did nothing but groan, complaining of all kinds of illnesses. His visits to the hospital became more and more frequent. “He is giving in,” said the prisoners.
At one time Gazin had gone into the kitchen followed by the little fellow who scraped the violin, and whom the convicts in their festivities used to hire to play to them. He stopped in the middle of the hall silently examining his companions one after another. No one breathed a word. When he saw me with my companions, he looked at us in his malicious, jeering style, and smiled horribly with the air of a man who was satisfied with a good joke that he had just thought of. He approached our table, tottering.
“Might I ask,” he said, “where you get the money which allows you to drink tea?”
I exchanged a look with my neighbour. I understood that the best thing for us was to be silent, and not to answer. The least contradiction would have put Gazin in a passion.
“You must have money,” he continued, “you must have a good deal of money to drink tea; but, tell me, are you sent to hard labour to drink tea? I say, did you come here for that purpose? Please answer, I should like to know.”
Seeing that we were resolved on silence, and that we had determined not to pay any attention to him, he ran towards us, livid and trembling with rage. At two steps’ distance, he saw a heavy box, which served to hold the bread given for the dinner and supper of the convicts. Its contents were sufficient for the meal of half the prisoners. At this moment it was empty. He seized it with both hands and brandished it above our heads. Although murder, or attempted, was an inexhaustible source of trouble for the convicts—examinations, counter-examinations, and inquiries without end would be the natural consequence—and though quarrels were generally cut short, when they did not lead to such serious results, yet every one remained silent and waited.
Not one word in our favour, not one cry against Gazin. The hatred of all the prisoners for all who were of gentle birth was so great that every one of them was evidently pleased to see that we were in danger. But a fortunate incident terminated this scene, which must have become tragic. Gazin was about to let fly the enormous box, which he was turning and twisting above his head, when a convict ran in from the barracks, and cried out:
“Gazin, they have stolen your vodka!”
The horrible brigand let fall the box with a frightful oath, and ran out of the kitchen.
“Well, God has saved them,” said the prisoners among themselves, repeating the words several times.
I never knew whether his vodka had been stolen, or whether it was only a stratagem invented to save us.
That same evening, before the closing of the barracks, when it was already dark, I walked to the side of the palisade. A heavy feeling of sadness weighed upon my soul. During all the time that I passed in the convict prison I never felt myself so miserable as on that evening, though the first day is always the hardest, whether at hard labour or in the prison. One thought in particular had left me no respite since my deportation—a question insoluble then and insoluble now. I reflected on the inequality of the punishments inflicted for the same crimes. Often, indeed, one crime cannot be compared even approximately to another. Two murderers kill a man under circumstances which in each case are minutely examined and weighed. They each receive the same punishment; and yet by what an abyss are their two actions separated! One has committed a murder for a trifle—for an onion. He has killed on the high-road a peasant who was passing, and found on him an onion, and nothing else.
“Well, I was sent to hard labour for a peasant who had nothing but an onion!”
“Fool that you are! an onion is worth a kopeck. If you had killed a hundred peasants you would have had a hundred kopecks, or one rouble.” The above is a prison joke.
Another criminal has killed a debauchee who was oppressing or dishonouring his wife, his sister, or his daughter.
A third, a vagabond, half dead with hunger, pursued by a whole band of police, was defending his liberty, his life. He is to be regarded as on an equality with the brigand who assassinates children for his amusement, for the pleasure of feeling their warm blood flow over his hands, of seeing them shudder in a last bird-like palpitation beneath the knife which tears their flesh!
They will all alike be sent to hard labour; though the sentence will perhaps not be for the same number of years. But the variations in the punishment are not very numerous, whereas different kinds of crimes may be reckoned by thousands. As many characters, so many crimes.
Let us admit that it is impossible to get rid of this first inequality in punishment, that the problem is insoluble, and that in connection with penal matters it is the squaring of the circle. Let all that be admitted; but even if this inequality cannot be avoided, there is another thing to be thought of—the consequences of the punishment. Here is a man who is wasting away like a candle; there is another one, on the contrary, who had no idea before going into exile that there could be such a gay, such an idle life, where he would find a circle of such agreeable friends. Individuals of this latter class are to be found in the convict prison.
Now take a man of heart, of cultivated mind, and of delicate conscience. What he feels kills him more certainly than the material punishment. The judgment which he himself pronounces on his crime is more pitiless than that of the most severe tribunal, the most Draconian law. He lives by the side of another convict, who has not once reflected on the murder he is expiating, during the whole time of his sojourn in the convict prison. He, perhaps, even considers himself innocent. Are there not, also, poor devils who commit crimes in order to be sent to hard labour, and thus to escape the liberty which is much more painful than confinement? A man’s life is miserable, he has never, perhaps, been able to satisfy his hunger. He is worked to death in order to enrich his master. In the convict prison his work will be less severe, less crushing. He will eat as much as he wants, better than he could ever have hoped to eat, had he remained free. On holidays he will have meat, and fine people will give him alms, and his evening’s work will bring him in some money. And the society one meets with in the convict prison, is that to be counted for nothing? The convicts are clever, wide-awake people, who are up to everything. The new arrival can scarcely conceal the admiration he feels for his companions in labour. He has seen nothing like it before, and he will consider himself in the best company possible.
Is it possible that men so differently situated can feel in an equal degree the punishment inflicted? But why think about questions that are insoluble? The drum beats, let us go back to barracks.

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CHAPTER V. FIRST IMPRESSIONS (continued)

We were between walls once more. The doors of the barracks were locked, each with a particular padlock, and the prisoners remained shut up till the next morning.
The verification was made by a non-commissioned officer accompanied by two soldiers. When by chance an officer was present, the convicts were drawn up in the court-yard, but generally speaking they were identified in the buildings. As the soldiers often made mistakes, they went out and came back in order to count us again and again, until their reckoning was satisfactory, then the barracks were closed. Each one contained about thirty prisoners, and we were very closely packed in our camp bedsteads. As it was too soon to go to sleep, the convicts occupied themselves with work.
Besides the old soldier of whom I have spoken, who slept in our dormitory, and represented there the administration of the prison, there was in our barrack another old soldier wearing a medal as rewarded for good conduct. It happened often enough, however, that the good-conduct men themselves committed offences for which they were sentenced to be whipped. They then lost their rank, and were immediately replaced by comrades whose conduct was considered satisfactory.
Our good-conduct man was no other than Akim Akimitch. To my great astonishment, he was very rough with the prisoners, but they only replied by jokes. The other old soldier, more prudent, interfered with no one, and if he opened his mouth, it was only as a matter of form, as an affair of duty. For the most part he remained silent, seated on his little bedstead, occupied in mending his own boots.
That day I could not help making to myself an observation, the accuracy of which became afterwards apparent: that all those who are not convicts and who have to deal with them, whoever they may be—beginning with the soldiers of the escort and the sentinels—look upon the convicts in a false and exaggerated light, expecting that for a yes or a no, these men will throw themselves upon them knife in hand. The prisoners, perfectly conscious of the fear they inspire, show a certain arrogance. Accordingly, the best prison director is the one who experiences no emotion in their presence. In spite of the airs they give themselves, the convicts prefer that confidence should be placed in them. By such means, indeed, they may be conciliated. I have more than once had occasion to notice their astonishment at an official entering their prison without an escort, and certainly their astonishment was not unflattering. A visitor who is intrepid imposes respect. If anything unfortunate happens, it will not be in his presence. The terror inspired by the convicts is general, and yet I saw no foundation for it. Is it the appearance of the prisoner, his brigand-like look, that causes a certain repugnance? Is it not rather the feeling that invades you directly you enter the prison, that in spite of all efforts, all precautions, it is impossible to turn a living man into a corpse, to stifle his feelings, his thirst for vengeance and for life, his passions, and his imperious desire to satisfy them? However that may be, I declare that there is no reason for fearing the convicts. A man does not throw himself so quickly nor so easily upon his fellow-man, knife in hand. Few accidents happen; sometimes they are so rare that the danger may be looked upon as non-existent.
I speak, it must be understood, only of prisoners already condemned, who are undergoing their punishment, and some of whom are almost happy to find themselves in the convict prison; so attractive under all circumstances is a new form of life. These latter live quiet and contented. As for the turbulent ones, the convicts themselves keep them in restraint, and their arrogance never goes too far. The prisoner, audacious and reckless as he may be, is afraid of every official connected with the prison. It is by no means the same with the accused whose fate has not been decided. Such a one is quite capable of attacking, no matter whom, without any motive of hatred, and solely because he is to be whipped the next day. If, indeed, he commits a fresh crime his offence becomes complicated. Punishment is delayed, and he gains time. The act of aggression is explained; it has a cause, an object. The convict wishes at all hazards to change his fate, and that as soon as possible. In connection with this, I myself have witnessed a physiological fact of the strangest kind.
In the section of military convicts was an old soldier who had been condemned to two years’ hard labour, a great boaster, and at the same time a coward. Generally speaking, the Russian soldier does not boast. He has no time for doing so, even had he the inclination. When such a one appears among a multitude of others, he is always a coward and a rogue. Dutoff—that was the name of the prisoner of whom I am speaking—underwent his punishment, and then went back to the same battalion in the Line; but, like all who are sent to the convict prison to be corrected, he had been thoroughly corrupted. A “return horse” re-appears in the convict prison after two or three weeks’ liberty, not for a comparatively short time, but for fifteen or twenty years. So it happened in the case of Dutoff. Three weeks after he had been set at liberty, he robbed one of his comrades, and was, moreover, mutinous. He was taken before a court-martial and sentenced to a severe form of corporal punishment. Horribly frightened, like the coward that he was, at the prospect of punishment, he threw himself, knife in hand, on to the officer of the guard, as he entered his dungeon on the eve of the day that he was to run the gauntlet through the men of his company. He quite understood that he was aggravating his offence, and that the duration of his punishment would be increased; but all he wanted was to postpone for some days, or at least for some hours, a terrible moment. He was such a coward that he did not even wound the officer whom he had attacked. He had, indeed, only committed this assault in order to add a new crime to the last already against him, and thus defer the sentence.
The moment preceding the punishment is terrible for the man condemned to the rods. I have seen many of them on the eve of the fatal day. I generally met with them in the hospital when I was ill, which happened often enough. In Russia the people who show most compassion for the convicts are certainly the doctors, who never make between the prisoners the distinctions observed by other persons brought into direct relations with them. In this respect the common people can alone be compared with the doctors, for they never reproach a criminal with the crime that he has committed, whatever it may be. They forgive him in consideration of the sentence passed upon him.
Is it not known that the common people throughout Russia call crime a “misfortune,” and the criminal an “unfortunate”? This definition is expressive, profound, and, moreover, unconscious, instinctive. To the doctor the convicts have naturally recourse, above all when they are to undergo corporal punishment. The prisoner who has been before a court-martial knows pretty well at what moment his sentence will be executed. To escape it he gets himself sent to the hospital, in order to postpone for some days the terrible moment. When he is declared restored to health, he knows that the day after he leaves the hospital this moment will arrive. Accordingly, on quitting the hospital the convict is always in a state of agitation. Some of them may endeavour from vanity to conceal their anxiety, but no one is taken in by that; every one understands the cruelty of such a moment, and is silent from humane motives.
I knew one young convict, an ex-soldier, sentenced for murder, who was to receive the maximum of rods. The eve of the day on which he was to be flogged, he had resolved to drink a bottle of vodka in which he had infused a quantity of snuff.
The prisoner condemned to the rods always drinks, before the critical moment arrives, a certain amount of spirits which he has procured long beforehand, and often at a fabulous price. He would deprive himself of the necessaries of life for six months rather than not be in a position to swallow half a pint of vodka before the flogging. The convicts are convinced that a drunken man suffers less from the sticks or whip than one who is in cold blood.
I will return to my narrative. The poor devil felt ill a few moments after he had swallowed his bottle of vodka. He vomited blood, and was carried in a state of unconsciousness to the hospital. His lungs were so much injured by this accident that phthisis declared itself, and carried off the soldier in a few months. The doctors who had attended him never knew the origin of his illness.
If examples of cowardice are not rare among the prisoners, it must be added that there are some whose intrepidity is quite astounding. I remember many instances of courage pushed to the extreme. The arrival in the hospital of a terrible bandit remains fixed in my memory.
One fine summer day the report was spread in the infirmary that the famous prisoner, Orloff, was to be flogged the same evening, and that he would be brought afterwards to the hospital. The prisoners who were already there said that the punishment would be a cruel one, and every one—including myself I must admit—was awaiting with curiosity the arrival of this brigand, about whom the most unheard-of things were told. He was a malefactor of a rare kind, capable of assassinating in cold blood old men and children. He possessed an indomitable force of will, and was fully conscious of his power. As he had been guilty of several crimes, they had condemned him to be flogged through the ranks.
He was brought, or, rather carried, in towards evening. The place was already dark. Candles were lighted. Orloff was excessively pale, almost unconscious, with his thick curly hair of dull black without the least brilliancy. His back was skinned and swollen, blue, and stained with blood. The prisoners nursed him throughout the night; they changed his poultices, placed him on his side, prepared for him the lotion ordered by the doctor; in a word, showed as much solicitude for him as for a relation or benefactor.
Next day he had fully recovered his faculties, and took one or two turns round the room. I was much astonished, for he was broken down and powerless when he was brought in. He had received half the number of blows ordered by the sentence. The doctor had stopped the punishment, convinced that if it were continued Orloff’s death would inevitably ensue.
This criminal was of a feeble constitution, weakened by long imprisonment. Whoever has seen prisoners after having been flogged, will remember their thin, drawn-out features and their feverish looks. Orloff soon recovered his powerful energy, which enabled him to get over his physical weakness. He was no ordinary man. From curiosity I made his acquaintance, and was able to study him at leisure for an entire week. Never in my life did I meet a man whose will was more firm or inflexible.
I had seen at Tobolsk a celebrity of the same kind—a former chief of brigands. This man was a veritable wild beast; by being near him, without even knowing him, it was impossible not to recognise in him a dangerous creature. What above all frightened me was his stupidity. Matter, in this man, had taken such an ascendant over mind, that one could see at a glance that he cared for nothing in the world but the brutal satisfaction of his physical wants. I was certain, however, that Kareneff—that was his name—would have fainted on being condemned to such rigorous corporal punishment as Orloff had undergone; and that he would have murdered the first man near him without blinking.
Orloff, on the contrary, was a brilliant example of the victory of spirit over matter. He had a perfect command over himself. He despised punishment, and feared nothing in the world. His dominant characteristic was boundless energy, a thirst for vengeance, and an immovable will when he had some object to attain.
I was not astonished at his haughty air. He looked down upon all around him from the height of his grandeur. Not that he took the trouble to pose; his pride was an innate quality. I don’t think that anything had the least influence over him. He looked upon everything with the calmest eye, as if nothing in the world could astonish him. He knew well that the other prisoners respected him; but he never took advantage of it to give himself airs.
Nevertheless, vanity and conceit are defects from which scarcely any convict is exempt. He was intelligent and strangely frank in talking too much about himself. He replied point-blank to all the questions I put to him, and confessed to me that he was waiting impatiently for his return to health in order to take the remainder of the punishment he was to undergo.
“Now,” he said to me with a wink, “it is all over. I shall have the remainder, and shall be sent to Nertchinsk with a convoy of prisoners. I shall profit by it to escape. I shall get away beyond doubt. If only my back would heal a little quicker!”
For five days he was burning with impatience to be in a condition for leaving the hospital At times he was gay and in the best of humours. I profited by these rare occasions to question him about his adventures.
Then he would contract his eyebrows a little; but he always answered my questions in a straightforward manner. When he understood that I was endeavouring to see through him, and to discover in him some trace of repentance, he looked at me with a haughty and contemptuous air, as if I were a foolish little boy, to whom he did too much honour by conversing with him.
I detected in his countenance a sort of compassion for me. After a moment’s pause he laughed out loud, but without the least irony. I fancy he must, more than once, have laughed in the same manner, when my words returned to his memory. At last he wrote down his name as cured, although his back was not yet entirely healed. As I also was almost well, we left the infirmary together and returned to the convict prison, while he was shut up in the guard-room, where he had been imprisoned before. When he left me he shook me by the hand, which in his eyes was a great mark of confidence. I fancy he did so, because at that moment he was in a good humour. But in reality he must have despised me, for I was a feeble being, contemptible in all respects, and guilty above all of resignation. The next day he underwent the second half of his punishment.
When the gates of the barracks had been closed, it assumed, in less than no time, quite another aspect—that of a private house, of quite a home. Then only did I see my convict comrades at their ease. During the day the under officers, or some of the other authorities, might suddenly arrive, so that the prisoners were then always on the look-out. They were only half at their ease. As soon, however, as the bolts had been pushed and the gates padlocked, every one sat down in his place and began to work. The barrack was lighted up in an unexpected manner. Each convict had his candle and his wooden candlestick. Some of them stitched boots, others sewed different kinds of garments. The air, already mephitic, became more and more impure.
Some of the prisoners, huddled together in a corner, played at cards on a piece of carpet. In each barrack there was a prisoner who possessed a small piece of carpet, a candle, and a pack of horribly greasy cards. The owner of the cards received from the players fifteen kopecks [5] a night. They generally played at the “three leaves”—Gorka, that is to say: a game of chance. Each player placed before him a pile of copper money—all that he possessed—and did not get up until he had lost it or had broken the bank.
Playing was continued until late at night; sometimes the dawn found the gamblers still at their game. Often, indeed, it did not cease until a few minutes before the opening of the gates. In our room—as in all the others—there were beggars ruined by drink and play, or rather beggars innate—I say innate, and maintain my expression. Indeed, in our country, and in all classes, there are, and always will be, strange easy-going people whose destiny it is to remain always beggars. They are poor devils all their lives; quite broken down, they remain under the domination or guardianship of some one, generally a prodigal, or a man who has suddenly made his fortune. All initiative is for them an insupportable burden. They only exist on condition of undertaking nothing for themselves, and by serving, always living under the will of another. They are destined to act by and through others. Under no circumstances, even of the most unexpected kind, can they get rich; they are always beggars. I have met these persons in all classes of society, in all coteries, in all associations, including the literary world.
As soon as a party was made up, one of these beggars, quite indispensable to the game, was summoned. He received five kopecks for a whole night’s employment; and what employment it was! His duty was to keep guard in the vestibule, with thirty degrees (Réaumur) of frost, in total darkness, for six or seven hours. The man on watch had to listen for the slightest noise, for the Major or one of the other officers of the guard would sometimes make a round rather late in the night. They arrived secretly, and sometimes discovered the players and the watchers in the act—thanks to the light of the candles, which could be seen from the court-yard.
When the key was heard grinding in the padlock which closed the gate, it was too late to put the lights out and lie down on the plank bedsteads. Such surprises were, however, rare. Five kopecks was a ridiculous payment even in our convict prison, and the exigency and hardness of the gamblers astonished me in this as in many cases: “You are paid, you must do what you are told.” This was the argument, and it admitted of no reply. To have paid a few kopecks to any one gave the right to turn him to the best possible account, and even to claim his gratitude. More than once it happened to me to see the convicts spend their money extravagantly, throwing it away on all sides, and, at the same time, cheat the man employed to watch. I have seen this in several barracks on many occasions.
I have already said that, with the exception of the gamblers, every one worked. Five only of the convicts remained completely idle, and went to bed on the first opportunity. My sleeping place was near the door. Next to me was Akim Akimitch, and when we were lying down our heads touched. He used to work until ten or eleven at making, by pasting together pieces of paper, multicolour lanterns, which some one living in the town had ordered from him, and for which he used to be well paid. He excelled in this kind of work, and did it methodically and regularly. When he had finished he put away carefully his tools, unfolded his mattress, said his prayers, and went to sleep with the sleep of the just. He carried his love of order even to pedantry, and must have thought himself in his inner heart a man of brains, as is generally the case with narrow, mediocre persons. I did not like him the first day, although he gave me much to think of. I was astonished that such a man could be found in a convict prison. I shall speak of Akimitch further on in the course of this book.
But I must now continue to describe the persons with whom I was to live a number of years. Those who surrounded me were to be my companions every minute, and it will be understood that I looked upon them with anxious curiosity.
On my left slept a band of mountaineers from the Caucasus, nearly all exiled for brigandage, but condemned to different punishments. There were two Lezghians, a Circassian, and three Tartars from Daghestan. The Circassian was a morose and sombre person. He scarcely ever spoke, and looked at you sideways with a sly, sulky, wild-beast-like expression. One of the Lezghians, an old man with an aquiline nose, tall and thin, seemed to be a true brigand; but the other Lezghian, Nourra by name, made a most favourable impression upon me. Of middle height, still young, built like a Hercules, with fair hair and violet eyes; he had a slightly turned up nose, while his features were somewhat of a Finnish cast. Like all horsemen, he walked with his toes in. His body was striped with scars, ploughed by bayonet wounds and bullets. Although he belonged to the conquered part of the Caucasus, he had joined the rebels, with whom he used to make continual incursions into our territory. Every one liked him in the prison by reason of his gaiety and affability. He worked without murmuring, always calm and peaceful. Thieving, cheating, and drunkenness filled him with disgust, or put him in a rage—not that he wished to quarrel with any one; he simply turned away with indignation. During his confinement he committed no breach of the rules. Fervently pious, he said his prayers religiously every evening, observed all the Mohammedan fasts like a true fanatic, and passed whole nights in prayer. Every one liked him, and looked upon him as a thoroughly honest man. “Nourra is a lion,” said the convicts; and the name of “Lion” stuck to him. He was quite convinced that as soon as he had finished his sentence he would be sent to the Caucasus. Indeed, he only lived by this hope, and I believe he would have died had he been deprived of it. I noticed it the very day of my arrival. How was it possible not to distinguish this calm, honest face in the midst of so many sombre, sardonic, repulsive countenances!
Before I had been half-an-hour in the prison, he passed by my side and touched me gently on the shoulder, smiling at the same time with an innocent air. I did not at first understand what he meant, for he spoke Russian very badly; but soon afterwards he passed again, and, with a friendly smile, again touched me on the shoulder. For three days running he repeated this strange proceeding. As I soon found out, he wanted to show me that he pitied me, and that he felt how painful the first moment of imprisonment must be. He wanted to testify his sympathy, to keep up my spirits, and to assure me of his good-will. Kind and innocent Nourra!
Of the three Tartars from Daghestan, all brothers, the two eldest were well-developed men, while the youngest, Ali, was not more than twenty-two, and looked younger. He slept by my side, and when I observed his frank, intelligent countenance, thoroughly natural, I was at once attracted to him, and thanked my fate that I had him for a neighbour in place of some other prisoner. His whole soul could be read in his beaming countenance. His confident smile had a certain childish simplicity; his large black eyes expressed such friendliness, such tender feeling, that I always took a pleasure in looking at him. It was a relief to me in moments of sadness and anguish. One day his eldest brother—he had five, of whom two were working in the mines of Siberia—had ordered him to take his yataghan, to get on horseback, and follow him. The respect of the mountaineers for their elders is so great that young Ali did not dare to ask the object of the expedition. He probably knew nothing about it, nor did his brothers consider it necessary to tell him. They were going to plunder the caravan of a rich Armenian merchant, and they succeeded in their enterprise. They assassinated the merchant and stole his goods. Unhappily for them, their act of brigandage was discovered. They were tried, flogged, and then sent to hard labour in Siberia. The Court admitted no extenuating circumstances, except in the case of Ali. He was condemned to the minimum punishment—four years’ confinement. These brothers loved him, their affection being paternal rather than fraternal. He was the only consolation of their exile. Dull and sad as a rule, they had always a smile for him when they spoke to him, which they rarely did—for they looked upon him as a child to whom it would be useless to speak seriously—their forbidding countenances lightened up. I fancied they always spoke to him in a jocular tone, as to an infant. When he replied, the brothers exchanged glances, and smiled good-naturedly.
He would not have dared to speak to them first by reason of his respect for them. How this young man preserved his tender heart, his native honesty, his frank cordiality without getting perverted and corrupted during his period of hard labour, is quite inexplicable. In spite of his gentleness, he had a strong stoical nature, as I afterwards saw. Chaste as a young girl, everything that was foul, cynical, shameful, or unjust filled his fine black eyes with indignation, and made them finer than ever. Without being a coward, he would allow himself to be insulted with impunity. He avoided quarrels and insults, and preserved all his dignity. With whom, indeed, was he to quarrel? Every one loved him, caressed him.
At first he was only polite to me; but little by little we got into the habit of talking together in the evening, and in a few months he had learnt to speak Russian perfectly, whereas his brothers never gained a correct knowledge of the language. He was intelligent, and at the same time modest and full of delicate feeling.
Ali was an exceptional being, and I always think of my meeting him as one of the lucky things in my life. There are some natures so spontaneously good and endowed by God with such great qualities that the idea of their getting perverted seems absurd. One is always at ease about them. Accordingly I had never any fears about Ali. Where is he now?
One day, a considerable time after my arrival at the convict prison, I was stretched out on my camp-bedstead agitated by painful thoughts. Ali, always industrious, was not working at this moment. His time for going to bed had not arrived. The brothers were celebrating some Mussulman festival, and were not working. Ali was lying down with his head between his hands in a state of reverie. Suddenly he said to me:
“Well, you are very sad!”
I looked at him with curiosity. Such a remark from Ali, always so delicate, so full of tact, seemed strange. But I looked at him more attentively, and saw so much grief, so much repressed suffering in his countenance—of suffering caused no doubt by sudden recollections—that I understood in what pain he must be, and said so to him. He uttered a deep sigh, and smiled with a melancholy air. I always liked his graceful, agreeable smile. When he laughed, he showed two rows of teeth which the first beauty in the world would have envied him.
“You were probably thinking, Ali, how this festival is celebrated in Daghestan. Ah, you were happy there!”
“Yes,” he replied with enthusiasm, and his eyes sparkled. “How did you know I was thinking of such things?”
“How was I not to know? You were much better off than you are here.”
“Why do you say that?”
“What beautiful flowers there are in your country! Is it not so? It is a true paradise.”
“Be silent, please.”
He was much agitated.
“Listen, Ali. Had you a sister?”
“Yes; why do you ask me?”
“She must have been very beautiful if she is like you?”
“Oh, there is no comparison to make between us. In all Daghestan no such beautiful girl is to be seen. My sister is, indeed, charming. I am sure that you have never seen any one like her. My mother also is very handsome.”
“And your mother was fond of you?”
“What are you saying? Certainly she was. I am sure that she has died of grief, she was so fond of me. I was her favourite child. Yes, she loved me more than my sister, more than all the others. This very night she has appeared to me in a dream, she shed tears for me.”
He was silent, and throughout the rest of the night did not open his mouth; but from this very moment he sought my company and my conversation; although very respectful, he never allowed himself to address me first. On the other hand he was happy when I entered into conversation with him. He spoke often of the Caucasus, and of his past life. His brothers did not forbid him to converse with me; I think even that they encouraged him to do so. When they saw that I had formed an attachment to him, they became more affable towards me.
Ali often helped me in my work. In the barrack he did whatever he thought would be agreeable to me, and would save me trouble. In his attentions to me there was neither servility nor the hope of any advantage, but only a warm, cordial feeling, which he did not try to hide. He had an extraordinary aptitude for the mechanical arts. He had learnt to sew very tolerably, and to mend boots; he even understood a little carpentering—everything in short that could be learnt at the convict prison. His brothers were proud of him.
“Listen, Ali,” I said to him one day, “why don’t you learn to read and write the Russian language, it might be very useful to you here in Siberia?”
“I should like to do so, but who would teach me?”
“There are plenty of people here who can read and write. I myself will teach you if you like.”
“Oh, do teach me, I beg of you,” said Ali, raising himself up in bed; he joined his hands and looked at me with a suppliant air.
We went to work the very next evening. I had with me a Russian translation of the New Testament, the only book that was not forbidden in the prison. With this book alone, without an alphabet, Ali learnt to read in a few weeks, and after a few months he could read perfectly. He brought to his studies extraordinary zeal and warmth.
One day we were reading together the Sermon on the Mount. I noticed that he read certain passages with much feeling; and I asked him if he was pleased with what he read. He glanced at me, and his face suddenly lighted up.
“Yes, yes, Jesus is a holy prophet. He speaks the language of God. How beautiful it is!”
“But tell me what it is that particularly pleases you.”
“The passage in which it is said, ‘Forgive those that hate you!’ Ah! how divinely He speaks!”
He turned towards his brothers, who were listening to our conversation, and said to them with warmth a few words. They talked together seriously for some time, giving their approval of what their young brother had said by a nodding of the head. Then with a grave, kindly smile, quite a Mussulman smile (I liked the gravity of this smile), they assured me that Isu [6] was a great prophet. He had done great miracles. He had created a bird with a little clay on which he breathed the breath of life, and the bird had then flown away. That, they said, was written in their books. They were convinced that they would please me much by praising Jesus. As for Ali, he was happy to see that his brothers approved of our friendship, and that they were giving me, what he thought would be, grateful words. The success I had with my pupil in teaching him to write, was really extraordinary. Ali had bought paper at his own expense, for he would not allow me to purchase any, also pens and ink; and in less than two months he had learnt to write. His brothers were astonished at such rapid progress. Their satisfaction and their pride were without bounds. They did not know how to show me enough gratitude. At the workshop, if we happened to be together, there were disputes as to which of them should help me. I do not speak of Ali, he felt for me more affection than even for his brothers. I shall never forget the day on which he was liberated. He went with me outside the barracks, threw himself on my neck and sobbed. He had never embraced me before, and had never before wept in my presence.
“You have done so much for me,” he said; “neither my father nor my mother have ever been kinder. You have made a man of me. God will bless you, I shall never forget you, never!”
Where is he now, where is my good, kind, dear Ali?
Besides the Circassians, we had a certain number of Poles, who formed a separate group. They had scarcely any relations with the other convicts. I have already said that, thanks to their hatred for the Russian prisoners, they were detested by every one. They were of a restless, morbid disposition: there were six of them, some of them men of education, of whom I shall speak in detail further on. It was from them that during the last days of my imprisonment I obtained a few books. The first work I read made a deep impression upon me. I shall speak further on of these sensations, which I look upon as very curious, though it will be difficult to understand them. Of this I am certain, for there are certain things as to which one cannot judge without having experienced them oneself. It will be enough for me to say that intellectual privations are more difficult to support than the most frightful, physical tortures.
A common man sent to hard labour finds himself in kindred society, perhaps even in a more interesting society than he has been accustomed to. He loses his native place, his family; but his ordinary surroundings are much the same as before. A man of education, condemned by law to the same punishment as the common man, suffers incomparably more. He must stifle all his needs, all his habits, he must descend into a lower sphere, must breathe another air. He is like a fish thrown upon the sand. The punishment that he undergoes, equal for all criminals according to the law, is ten times more severe and more painful for him than for the common man. This is an incontestable truth, even if one thinks only of the material habits that have to be sacrificed.
I was saying that the Poles formed a group by themselves. They lived together, and of all the convicts in the prison, they cared only for a Jew, and for no other reason than because he amused them. Our Jew was generally liked, although every one laughed at him. We only had one, and even now I cannot think of him without laughing. Whenever I looked at him I thought of the Jew Jankel, whom Gogol describes in his Tarass Boulba, and who, when undressed and ready to go to bed with his Jewess in a sort of cupboard, resembled a fowl; but Isaiah Fomitch Bumstein and a plucked fowl were as like one another as two drops of water. He was already of a certain age—about fifty—small, feeble, cunning, and, at the same time, very stupid, bold, and boastful, though a horrible coward. His face was covered with wrinkles, his forehead and cheeks were scarred from the burning he had received in the pillory. I never understood how he had been able to support the sixty strokes he received.
He had been sentenced for murder. He carried on his person a medical prescription which had been given to him by other Jews immediately after his exposure in the pillory. Thanks to the ointment prescribed, the scars were to disappear in less than a fortnight. He had been afraid to use it. He was waiting for the expiration of his twenty years (after which he would become a colonist) in order to utilise his famous remedy.
“Otherwise I shall not be able to get married,” he would say; “and I must absolutely marry.”
We were great friends: his good-humour was inexhaustible. The life of the convict prison did not seem to disagree with him. A goldsmith by trade, he received more orders than he could execute, for there was no jeweller’s shop in our town. He thus escaped his hard labour. As a matter of course, he lent money on pledges to the convicts, who paid him heavy interest. He arrived at the prison before I did. One of the Poles related to me his triumphal entry. It is quite a history, which I shall relate further on, for I shall often have to speak of Isaiah Fomitch Bumstein.
As for the other prisoners there were, first of all, four “old believers,” among whom was the old man from Starodoub, two or three Little Russians, very morose persons, and a young convict with delicate features and a finely-chiselled nose, about twenty-three years of age, who had already committed eight murders; besides a band of coiners, one of whom was the buffoon of our barracks; and, finally, some sombre, sour-tempered convicts, shorn and disfigured, always silent, and full of envy. They looked askance at all who came near them, and must have continued to do so during a long course of years. I saw all this superficially on the first night of my arrival, in the midst of thick smoke, in a mephitic atmosphere, amid obscene oaths, accompanied by the rattling of chains, by insults, and cynical laughter. I stretched myself out on the bare planks, my head resting on my coat, rolled up to do duty in lieu of a pillow, not yet supplied to me. Then I covered myself with my sheepskin, but, thanks to the painful impression of this evening, I was unable for some time to get to sleep. My new life was only just beginning. The future reserved for me many things which I had not foreseen, and of which I had never the least idea.

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CHAPTER VI. THE FIRST MONTH

Three days after my arrival I was ordered to go to work. The impression left upon me to this day is still very clear, although there was nothing very striking in it, unless one considers that my position was in itself extraordinary. The first sensations count for a good deal, and I as yet looked upon everything with curiosity. My first three days were certainly the most painful of all my terms of imprisonment.
My wandering is at an end, I said to myself every moment. I am now in the convict prison, my resting-place for many years. Here is where I am to live. I come here full of grief, who knows that when I leave it I shall not do so with regret? I said this to myself as one touches a wound, the better to feel its pain. The idea that I might regret my stay was terrible to me. Already I felt to what an intolerable degree man is a creature of habit, but this was a matter of the future. The present, meanwhile, was terrible enough.
The wild curiosity with which my convict companions examined me, their harshness towards a former nobleman now entering into their corporation, a harshness which sometimes took the form of hatred—all this tormented me to such a degree that I felt obliged of my own accord to go to work in order to measure at one stroke the whole extent of my misfortune, that I might at once begin to live like the others, and fall with them into the same abyss.
But convicts differ, and I had not yet disentangled from the general hostility the sympathy here and there manifested towards me.
After a time the affability and good-will shown to me by certain convicts gave me a little courage, and restored my spirits. Most friendly among them was Akim Akimitch. I soon noticed some kind, good-natured faces in the dark and hateful crowd. Bad people are to be found everywhere, but even among the worst there may be something good, I began to think, by way of consolation. Who knows? These persons are perhaps not worse than others who are free. While making these reflections I felt some doubts, and, nevertheless, how much I was in the right!
The convict Suchiloff, for example; a man whose acquaintance I did not make until long afterwards, although he was near me during nearly the whole period of my confinement. Whenever I speak of the convicts who are not worse than other men, my thoughts turn involuntarily to him. He acted as my servant, together with another prisoner named Osip, whom Akim Akimitch had recommended to me immediately after my arrival. For thirty kopecks a month this man agreed to cook me a separate dinner, in case I should not be able to put up with the ordinary prison fare, and should be able to pay for my own food. Osip was one of the four cooks chosen by the prisoners in our two kitchens. I may observe that they were at liberty to refuse these duties, and give them up whenever they might think fit. The cooks were men from whom hard labour was not expected. They had to bake bread and prepare the cabbage soup. They were called “cook-maids,” not from contempt, for the men chosen were always the most intelligent, but merely in fun. The name given to them did not annoy them.
For many years past Osip had been constantly selected as “cook-maid.” He never refused the duty except when he was out of sorts, or when he saw an opportunity of getting spirits into the barracks. Although he had been sent to the convict prison as a smuggler, he was remarkably honest and good-tempered (I have spoken of him before); at the same time he was a dreadful coward, and feared the rod above all things. Of a peaceful, patient disposition, affable with everybody, he never got into quarrels; but he could never resist the temptation of bringing spirits in, notwithstanding his cowardice, and simply from his love of smuggling. Like all the other cooks he dealt in spirits, but on a much less extensive scale than Gazin, because he was afraid of running the same risks. I always lived on good terms with Osip. To have a separate table it was not necessary to be very rich; it cost me only one rouble a month apart from the bread, which was given to us. Sometimes when I was very hungry I made up my mind to eat the cabbage soup, in spite of the disgust with which it generally filled me. After a time this disgust entirely disappeared. I generally bought one pound of meat a day, which cost me two kopecks.
The old soldiers, who watched over the internal discipline of the barracks, were ready, good-naturedly, to go every day to the market to make purchases for the convicts. For this they received no pay, except from time to time a trifling present. They did it for the sake of their peace; their life in the convict prison would have been a perpetual torment had they refused. They used to bring in tobacco, tea, meat—everything, in short, that was desired, always excepting spirits.
For many years Osip prepared for me every day a piece of roast meat. How he managed to get it cooked was a secret. What was strangest in the matter was, that during all this time I scarcely exchanged two words with him. I tried many times to make him talk, but he was incapable of keeping up a conversation. He would only smile and answer my questions by “yes” or “no.” He was a Hercules, but he had no more intelligence than a child of seven.
Suchiloff was also one of those who helped me. I had never asked him to do so, he attached himself to me on his own account, and I scarcely remember when he began to do so. His principal duty consisted in washing my linen. For this purpose there was a basin in the middle of the court-yard, round which the convicts washed their clothes in prison buckets.
Suchiloff had found means for rendering me a number of little services. He boiled my tea-urn, ran right and left to perform various commissions for me, got me all kinds of things, mended my clothes, and greased my boots four times a month. He did all this in a zealous manner, with a business-like air, as if he felt all the weight of the duties he was performing. He seemed quite to have joined his fate to mine, and occupied himself with all my affairs. He never said: “You have so many shirts, or your waistcoat is torn;” but, “We have so many shirts, and our waistcoat is torn.” I had somehow inspired him with admiration, and I really believe that I had become his sole care in life. As he knew no trade whatever his only source of income was from me, and it must be understood that I paid him very little; but he was always pleased, whatever he might receive. He would have been without means had he not been a servant of mine, and he gave me the preference because I was more affable than the others, and, above all, more equitable in money matters. He was one of those beings who never get rich, and never know how to manage their affairs; one of those in the prison who were hired by the gamblers to watch all night in the ante-chamber, listening for the least noise that might announce the arrival of the Major. If there was a night visit they received nothing, indeed their back paid for their want of attention. One thing which marks this kind of men is their entire absence of individuality, which they seem entirely to have lost.
Suchiloff was a poor, meek fellow; all the courage seemed to have been beaten out of him, although he had in reality been born meek. For nothing in the world would he have raised his hand against any one in the prison. I always pitied him without knowing why. I could not look at him without feeling the deepest compassion for him. If asked to explain this, I should find it impossible to do so. I could never get him to talk, and he never became animated, except when, to put an end to all attempts at conversation, I gave him something to do, or told him to go somewhere for me. I soon found that he loved to be ordered about. Neither tall nor short, neither ugly nor handsome, neither stupid nor intelligent, neither old nor young, it would be difficult to describe in any definite manner this man, except that his face was slightly pitted with the small-pox, and that he had fair hair. He belonged, as far as I could make out, to the same company as Sirotkin. The prisoners sometimes laughed at him because he had “exchanged.” During the march to Siberia he had exchanged for a red shirt and a silver rouble. It was thought comical that he should have sold himself for such a small sum, to take the name of another prisoner in place of his own, and consequently to accept the other’s sentence. Strange as it may appear it was nevertheless true. This custom, which had become traditional, and still existed at the time I was sent to Siberia, I, at first, refused to believe, but found afterwards that it really existed. This is how the exchange was effected:
A company of prisoners started for Siberia. Among them there are exiles of all kinds, some condemned to hard labour, others to labour in the mines, others to simple colonisation. On the way out, no matter at what stage of the journey, in the Government of Perm, for instance, a prisoner wishes to exchange with another man, who—we will say he is named Mikhailoff—has been condemned to hard labour for a capital offence, and does not like the prospect of passing long years without his liberty. He knows, in his cunning, what to do. He looks among his comrades for some simple, weak-minded fellow, whose punishment is less severe, who has been condemned to a few years in the mines, or to hard labour, or has perhaps been simply exiled. At last he finds such a man as Suchiloff, a former serf, sentenced only to become a colonist. The man has made fifteen hundred versts [7] without a kopeck, for the good reason that a Suchiloff is always without money; fatigued, exhausted, he can get nothing to eat beyond the fixed rations, nothing to wear in addition to the convict uniform.
Mikhailoff gets into conversation with Suchiloff, they suit one another, and they strike up a friendship. At last at some station Mikhailoff makes his comrade drunk, then he will ask him if he will “exchange.”
“My name is Mikhailoff,” he says to him, “condemned to what is called hard labour, but which, in my own case, will be nothing of the kind, as I am to enter a particular special section. I am classed with the hard-labour men, but in my special division the labour is not so severe.”
Before the special section was abolished, many persons in the official world, even at St. Petersburg, were unaware even of its existence. It was in such a retired corner of one of the most distant regions of Siberia, that it was difficult to know anything about it. It was insignificant, moreover, from the number of persons belonging to it. In my time they numbered altogether only seventy. I have since met men who have served in Siberia, and know the country well, and yet have never heard of the “special section.” In the rules and regulations there are only six lines about this institution. Attached to the convict prison of ---- is a special section reserved for the most dangerous criminals, while the severest labours are being prepared for them. The prisoners themselves knew nothing of this special section. Did it exist temporarily or constantly? Neither Suchiloff nor any of the prisoners being sent out, not Mikhailoff himself could guess the significance of those two words. Mikhailoff, however, had his suspicion as to the true character of this section. He formed his opinion from the gravity of the crime for which he was made to march three or four thousand versts on foot. It was certain that he was not being sent to a place where he would be at his ease. Suchiloff was to be a colonist. What could Mikhailoff desire better than that?
“Won’t you change?” he asks. Suchiloff is a little drunk, he is a simple-minded man, full of gratitude to the comrade who entertains him, and dare not refuse; he has heard, moreover, from other prisoners, that these exchanges are made, and understands, therefore, that there is nothing extraordinary, unheard-of, in the proposition made to him. An agreement is come to, the cunning Mikhailoff, profiting by Suchiloff’s simplicity, buys his name for a red shirt, and a silver rouble, which are given before witnesses. The next day Suchiloff is sober; but more liquor is given to him. Then he drinks up his own rouble, and after a while the red shirt has the same fate.
“If you don’t like the bargain we made, give me back my money,” says Mikhailoff. But where is Suchiloff to get a rouble? If he does not give it back, the “artel [8]” will force him to keep his promise. The prisoners are very sensitive on such points: he must keep his promise. The “artel” requires it, and, in case of disobedience, woe to the offender! He will be killed, or at least seriously intimidated. If indeed the “artel” once showed mercy to the men who had broken their word, there would be an end to its existence. If the given word can be recalled, and the bargain put an end to after the stipulated sum has been paid, who would be bound by such an agreement? It is a question of life or death for the “artel.” Accordingly the prisoners are very severe on the point.
Suchiloff then finds that it is impossible to go back, that nothing can save him, and he accordingly agrees to all that is demanded of him. The bargain is then made known to all the convoy, and if denunciations are feared, the men looked upon as suspicious are entertained. What, moreover, does it matter to the others whether Mikhailoff or Suchiloff goes to the devil? They have had gratuitous drinks, they have been feasted for nothing, and the secret is kept by all.
At the next station the names are called. When Mikhailoff’s turn arrives, Suchiloff answers “present,” Mikhailoff replies “present” for Suchiloff, and the journey is continued. The matter is not now even talked about. At Tobolsk the prisoners are told off. Mikhailoff will become a colonist, while Suchiloff is sent to the special section under a double escort. It would be useless now to cry out, to protest, for what proof could be given? How many years would it take to decide the affair, what benefit would the complainant derive? Where, moreover, are the witnesses? They would deny everything, even if they could be found.
That is how Suchiloff, for a silver rouble and a red shirt, came to be sent to the special section. The prisoners laughed at him, not because he had exchanged—though in general they despised those who had been foolish enough to exchange a work that was easy for a work that was hard—but simply because he had received nothing for the bargain except a red shirt and a rouble—certainly a ridiculous compensation.
Generally speaking, the exchanges are made for relatively large sums; several ten-rouble notes sometimes change hands. But Suchiloff was so characterless, so insignificant, so null, that he could scarcely even be laughed at. We lived a considerable time together, he and I; I had got accustomed to him, and he had formed an attachment for me. One day, however—I can never forgive myself for what I did—he had not executed my orders, and when he came to ask me for his money I had the cruelty to say to him, “You don’t forget to ask for your money, but you don’t do what you are told.” Suchiloff remained silent and hastened to do as he was ordered, but he suddenly became very sad. Two days passed. I could not believe that what I had said to him could affect him so much. I knew that a person named Vassilieff was claiming from him in a morose manner payment of a small debt. Suchiloff was probably short of money, and did not dare to ask me for any.
“Suchiloff, you wish, I think, to ask me for some money to pay Vassilieff; take this.”
I was seated on my camp-bedstead. Suchiloff remained standing up before me, much astonished that I myself should propose to give him money, and that I remembered his difficult position; the more so as latterly he had asked me several times for money in advance, and could scarcely hope that I should give him any more. He looked at the paper I held out to him, then looked at me, turned sharply on his heel and went out. I was as astonished as I could be. I went out after him, and found him at the back of the barracks. He was standing up with his face against the palisade and his arms resting on the stakes.
“What is the matter, Suchiloff?” I asked him.
He made no reply, and to my stupefaction I saw that he was on the point of bursting into tears.
“You think, Alexander Petrovitch,” he said, in a trembling voice, in endeavouring not to look at me, “that I care only for your money, but I——”
He turned away from me, and struck the palisade with his forehead and began to sob. It was the first time in the convict prison that I had seen a man weep. I had much trouble in consoling him; and he afterwards served me, if possible, with more zeal than ever. He watched for my orders, but by almost imperceptible indications I could see that his heart would never forgive me for my reproach. Meanwhile other men laughed at him and teased him whenever the opportunity presented itself, and even insulted him without his losing his temper; on the contrary, he still remained on good terms with them. It is indeed difficult to know a man, even after having lived long years with him.
The convict prison had not at first for me the significance it was afterwards to assume. I was at first, in spite of my attention, unable to understand many facts which were staring me in the face. I was naturally first struck by the most salient points, but I saw them from a false point of view, and the only impression they made upon me was one of unmitigated sadness. What contributed above all to this result was my meeting with A——f, the convict who had come to the prison before me, and who had astonished me in such a painful manner during the first few days. The effect of his baseness was to aggravate my moral suffering, already sufficiently cruel. He offered the most repulsive example of the kind of degradation and baseness to which a man may fall when all feeling of honour has perished within him. This young man of noble birth—I have spoken of him before—used to repeat to the Major all that was done in the barracks, and in doing so through the Major’s body-servant Fedka. Here is the man’s history.
Arrived at St. Petersburg before he had finished his studies, after a quarrel with his parents, whom his life of debauchery had terrified, he had not shrunk for the sake of money from doing the work of an informer. He did not hesitate to sell the blood of ten men in order to satisfy his insatiable thirst for the grossest and most licentious pleasures. At last he became so completely perverted in the St. Petersburg taverns and houses of ill-fame, that he did not hesitate to take part in an affair which he knew to be conceived in madness—for he was not without intelligence. He was condemned to exile and ten years’ hard labour in Siberia. One might have thought that such a frightful blow would have shocked him, that it would have caused some reaction and brought about a crisis; but he accepted his new fate without the least confusion. It did not frighten him; all that he feared in it was the necessity of working, and of giving up for ever his habits of debauchery. The name of convict had no effect but to prepare him for new acts of baseness, and more hideous villainies than any he had previously perpetrated.
“I am now a convict, and can crawl at ease, without shame.”
That was the light in which he looked upon his new position. I think of this disgusting creature as of some monstrous phenomenon. During the many years I have lived in the midst of murderers, debauchees, and proved rascals, never in my life did I meet a case of such complete moral abasement, determined corruption, and shameless baseness. Among us there was a parricide of noble birth. I have already spoken of him; but I could see by several signs that he was much better and more humane than A——f. During the whole time of my punishment, he was never anything more in my eyes than a piece of flesh furnished with teeth and a stomach, greedy for the most offensive and ferocious animal enjoyments, for the satisfaction of which he was ready to assassinate anyone. I do not exaggerate in the least; I recognised in A——f one of the most perfect specimens of animality, restrained by no principles, no rule. How much I was disgusted by his eternal smile! He was a monster—a moral Quasimodo. He was at the same time intelligent, cunning, good-looking, had received some education, and possessed a certain capacity. Fire, plague, famine, no matter what scourge, is preferable to the presence of such a man in human society. I have already said that in the convict prison espionage and denunciation flourished as the natural product of degradation, without the convicts thinking much of it. On the contrary, they maintained friendly relations with A——f. They were more affable with him than with any one else. The kindly attitude towards him of our drunken friend, the Major, gave him a certain importance, and even a certain worth in the eyes of the convicts. Later on, this cowardly wretch ran away with another convict and the soldier in charge of them; but of this I shall speak in proper time and place. At first, he hung about me, thinking I did not know his history. I repeat that he poisoned the first days of my imprisonment so as to drive me nearly to despair. I was terrified by the mass of baseness and cowardice in the midst of which I had been thrown. I imagined that every one else was as foul and cowardly as he. But I made a mistake in supposing that every one resembled A——f.
During the first three days I did nothing but wander about the convict prison, when I did not remain stretched out on my camp-bedstead. I entrusted to a prisoner of whom I was sure, the piece of linen which had been delivered to me by the administration, in order that he might make me some shirts. Always on the advice of Akim Akimitch, I got myself a folding mattress. It was in felt, covered with linen, as thin as a pancake, and very hard to any one who was not accustomed to it. Akim Akimitch promised to get me all the most essential things, and with his own hands made me a blanket out of a piece of old cloth, cut and sewn together from all the old trousers and waistcoats which I had bought from various prisoners. The clothes delivered to them, when they have been worn the regulation time, become the property of the prisoners. They at once sell them, for however much worn an article of clothing may be, it always possesses a certain value. I was very much astonished by all this, above all at the outset, during my first relations with this world. I became as low as my companions, as much a convict as they. Their customs, their habits, their ideas influenced me thoroughly, and externally became my own, without affecting my inner self. I was astonished and confused as though I had never heard or suspected anything of the kind before, and yet I knew what to expect, or at least what had been told me. The thing itself, however, produced on me a different impression from the mere description of it. How could I suppose, for instance, that old rags possessed still some value? And, nevertheless, my blanket was made up entirely of tatters. It would be difficult to describe the cloth out of which the clothes of the convicts were made. It was like the thick, gray cloth manufactured for the soldiers, but as soon as it had been worn some little time it showed the threads and tore with abominable ease. The uniform ought to have lasted for a whole year, but it never went so long as that. The prisoner labours, carries heavy burdens, and the cloth naturally wears out, and gets into holes very quickly. Our sheepskins were intended to be worn for three years. During the whole of that time they served as outer garments, blankets, and pillows, but they were very solid. Nevertheless, at the end of the third year, it was not rare to see them mended with ordinary linen. Although they were now very much worn, it was always possible to sell them at the rate of forty kopecks a piece, the best preserved ones even at the price of sixty kopecks, which was a great sum for the convict prison.
Money, as I have before said, has a sovereign value in such a place. It is certain that a prisoner who has some pecuniary resources suffers ten times less than the one who has nothing.
“When the Government supplies all the wants of the convict, what need can he have for money?” reasoned our chief.
Nevertheless, I repeat that if the prisoners had been deprived of the opportunity of possessing something of their own, they would have lost their reason, or would have died like flies. They would have committed unheard-of crimes; some from wearisomeness or grief, the others, in order to get sooner punished, and, according to their expression, “have a change.” If the convict who has gained some kopecks by the sweat of his brow, who has embarked in perilous undertakings in order to conquer them, if he spends this money recklessly, with childish stupidity, that does not the least in the world prove that he does not know its value, as might at first sight be thought. The convict is greedy for money, to the point of losing his reason, and, if he throws it away, he does so in order to procure what he places far above money—liberty, or at least a semblance of liberty.
Convicts are great dreamers; I will speak of that further on with more detail. At present I will confine myself to saying that I have heard men, who had been condemned to twenty years’ hard labour, say, with a quiet air, “when I have finished my time, if God wishes, then——” The very words hard labour, or forced labour, indicate that the man has lost his freedom; and when this man spends his money he is carrying out his own will.
In spite of the branding and the chains, in spite of the palisade which hides from his eyes the free world, and encloses him in a cage like a wild beast, he can get himself spirits and other delights; sometimes even (not always), corrupt his immediate superintendents, the old soldiers and non-commissioned officers, and get them to close their eyes to his infractions of discipline within the prison. He can, moreover—what he adores—swagger; that is to say, impress his companions and persuade himself for a time, that he enjoys more liberty than he really possesses. The poor devil wishes, in a word, to convince himself of what he knows to be impossible. This is why the prisoners take such pleasure in boasting and exaggerating in burlesque fashion their own unhappy personality.
Finally, they run some risk when they give themselves up to this boasting; in which again they find a semblance of life and liberty—the only thing they care for. Would not a millionaire with a rope round his neck give all his millions for one breath of air? A prisoner has lived quietly for several years in succession, his conduct has been so exemplary that he has been rewarded by special exemptions. Suddenly, to the great astonishment of his chiefs, this man becomes mutinous, plays the very devil, and does not recoil from a capital crime such as assassination, violation, etc. Every one is astounded at the cause of this unexpected explosion on the part of a man thought incapable of such a thing. It is the convulsive manifestation of his personality, an instinctive melancholia, an uncontrollable desire for self-assertion, all of which obscures his reason. It is a sort of epileptic attack, a spasm. A man buried alive who suddenly wakes up must strike in a similar manner against the lid of his coffin. He tries to rise up, to push it from him, although his reason must convince him of the uselessness of his efforts.
Reason, however, has nothing to do with this convulsion. It must not be forgotten that almost every voluntary manifestation on the part of a convict is looked upon as a crime. Accordingly, it is a perfect matter of indifference to them whether this manifestation be important or insignificant, debauch for debauch, danger for danger. It is just as well to go to the end, even as far as a murder. The only difficulty is the first step. Little by little the man becomes excited, intoxicated, and can no longer contain himself. For that reason it would be better not to drive him to extremities. Everybody would be much better for it.
But how can this be managed?

---

CHAPTER VII. THE FIRST MONTH (continued)

When I entered the convict prison I possessed a small sum of money; but I carried very little of it about with me, lest it should be confiscated. I had gummed some banknotes into the binding of my New Testament—the only book authorised in the convict prison. This New Testament had been given to me at Tobolsk, by a person who had been exiled some dozens of years, and who had got accustomed to see in other “unfortunates” a brother.
There are in Siberia people who pass their lives in giving brotherly assistance to the “unfortunates.” They feel the same sympathy for them that they would have for their own children. Their compassion is something sacred and quite disinterested. I cannot help here relating in some words a meeting which I had at this time.
In the town where we were then imprisoned lived a widow, Nastasia Ivanovna. Naturally, none of us were in direct relations with this woman. She had made it the object of her life to come to the assistance of all the exiles; but, above all, of us convicts. Had there been some misfortune in her family? Had some person dear to her undergone a punishment similar to ours? I do not know. In any case, she did for us whatever she could. It is true she could do very little, for she was very poor. But we felt when we were shut up in the convict prison that, outside, we had a devoted friend. She often brought us news, which we were very glad to hear, for nothing of the kind reached us.
When I left the prison to be taken to another town, I had the opportunity of calling upon her and making her acquaintance. She lived in one of the suburbs, at the house of a near relation.
Nastasia Ivanovna was neither old nor young, neither pretty nor ugly. It was difficult, impossible even, to know whether she was intelligent and well-bred. But in her actions could be seen infinite compassion, an irresistible desire to please, to solace, to be in some way agreeable. All this could be read in the sweetness of her smile.
I passed an entire evening at her house, with other companions of my imprisonment. She looked us straight in the face, laughed when we laughed, did everything we asked her, in conversation was always of our opinion, and did her best in every way to entertain us. She gave us tea and various little delicacies. If she had been rich we felt sure she would have been pleased, if only to be able to entertain us better and offer for us some solid consolation.
When we wished her “good-bye,” she gave us each a present of a cardboard cigar-case as a souvenir. She had made them herself—Heaven knows how—with coloured paper, the paper with which school-boys’ copy-books are covered. All round this cardboard cigar-case she had gummed, by way of ornamentation, a thin edge of gilt paper.
“As you smoke, these cigar-cases will perhaps be of use to you,” she said, as if excusing herself for making such a present.
There are people who say, as I have read and heard, that a great love for one’s neighbour is only a form of selfishness. What selfishness could there be in this? That I could never understand.
Although I had not much money when I entered the convict prison, I could not nevertheless feel seriously annoyed with convicts who, immediately on my arrival, after having deceived me once, came to borrow of me a second, a third time, and even oftener. But I admitted frankly that what did annoy me was the thought that all these people, with their smiling knavery, must take me for a fool, and laugh at me just because I lent the money for the fifth time. It must have seemed to them that I was the dupe of their tricks and their deceit. If, on the contrary, I had refused them and sent them away, I am certain that they would have had much more respect for me. Still, though it vexed me very much, I could not refuse them.
I was rather anxious during the first days to know what footing I should hold in the convict prison, and what rule of conduct I should follow with my companions. I felt and perfectly understood that the place being in every way new to me, I was walking in darkness, and it would be impossible for me to live for ten years in darkness. I decided to act frankly, according to the dictates of my conscience and my personal feeling. But I also knew that this decision might be very well in theory, and that I should, in practice, be governed by unforeseen events. Accordingly, in addition to all the petty annoyances caused to me by my confinement in the convict prison, one terrible anguish laid hold of me and tormented me more and more.
“The dead-house!” I said to myself when night fell, and I looked from the threshold of our barracks at the prisoners just returned from their labours and walking about in the court-yard, from the kitchen to the barracks, and vice versa. As I examined their movements and their physiognomies I endeavoured to guess what sort of men they were, and what their disposition might be.
They lounged about in front of me, some with lowered brows, others full of gaiety—one of these expressions was seen on every convict’s face—exchanged insults or talked on indifferent matters. Sometimes, too, they wandered about in solitude, occupied apparently with their own reflections; some of them with a worn-out, pathetic look, others with a conceited air of superiority. Yes, here, even here!—their cap balanced on the side of their head, their sheepskin coat picturesquely over the shoulder, insolence in their eyes and mockery on their lips.
“Here is the world to which I am condemned, in which, in spite of myself, I must somehow live,” I said to myself.
I endeavoured to question Akim Akimitch, with whom I liked to take my tea, in order not to be alone, for I wanted to know something about the different convicts. In parenthesis I must say that the tea, at the beginning of my imprisonment, was almost my only food. Akim Akimitch never refused to take tea with me, and he himself heated our tin tea-urns, made in the convict prison and let out to me by M——.
Akim Akimitch generally drank a glass of tea (he had glasses of his own) calmly and silently, then thanked me when he had finished, and at once went to work on my blanket; but he had not been able to tell me what I wanted to know, and did not even understand my desire to know the dispositions of the people surrounding me. He listened to me with a cunning smile which I have still before my eyes. No, I thought, I must find out for myself; it is useless to interrogate others.
The fourth day, the convicts were drawn up in two ranks, early in the morning, in the court-yard before the guard-house, close to the prison gates. Before and behind them were soldiers with loaded muskets and fixed bayonets.
The soldier has the right to fire on the convict if he tries to escape. But, on the other hand, he is answerable for his shot, if there was no absolute necessity for him to fire. The same thing applies to revolts. But who would think of openly taking to flight?
The Engineer officer arrived accompanied by the so-called “conductor” and by some non-commissioned officers of the Line, together with sappers and soldiers told off to superintend the labours of the convicts.
The roll was called. Then the convicts who were going to the tailors’ workshop started first. These men worked inside the prison, and made clothes for all the inmates. The other exiles went into the outer workshops, until at last arrived the turn of the prisoners destined for field labour. I was of this number—there were altogether twenty of us. Behind the fortress on the frozen river were two barges belonging to the Government, which were not worth anything, but which had to be taken to pieces in order that the wood might not be lost. The wood was in itself all but valueless, for firewood can be bought in the town at a nominal price. The whole country is covered with forests.
This work was given to us in order that we might not remain with our arms crossed. This was understood on both sides. Accordingly, we went to it apathetically; though just the contrary happened when work had to be done, which would be profitable, or when a fixed task was assigned to us. In this latter case, although prisoners were to derive no profit from their work, they tried to get it over as soon as possible, and took a pride in doing it quickly. When such work as I am speaking of had to be done as a matter of form, rather than because it was necessary, task work could not be asked for. We had to go on until the beating of the drum at eleven o’clock called back the convicts.
The day was warm and foggy, the snow was on the point of melting. Our entire band walked towards the bank behind the fortress, shaking lightly their chains hid beneath their garments: the sound came forth clear and ringing. Two or three convicts went to get their tools from the dépôt.
I walked on with the others. I had become a little animated, for I wanted to see and know in what this field labour consisted, to what sort of work I was condemned, and how I should do it for the first time in my life.
I remember the smallest particulars. We met, as we were walking along, a townsman with a long beard, who stopped and slipped his hand into his pocket. A prisoner left our party, took off his cap and received alms—to the extent of five kopecks—then came back hurriedly towards us. The townsman made the sign of the cross and went his way. The five kopecks were spent the same morning in buying cakes of white bread which were shared equally among us. In my squad some were gloomy and taciturn, others indifferent and indolent. There were some who talked in an idle manner. One of these men was extremely gay, heaven knows why. He sang and danced as we went along, shaking and ringing his chains at each step. This fat and corpulent convict was the very one who, on the very day of my arrival during the general washing, had a quarrel with one of his companions about the water, and had ventured to compare him to some sort of bird. His name was Scuratoff. He finished by shouting out a lively song of which I remember the burden:
They married me without my consent,
When I was at the mill.
Nothing was wanting but a balalaika [9].
His extraordinary good-humour was justly reproved by several of the prisoners, who were offended by it.
“Listen to his hallooing,” said one of the convicts, “though it doesn’t become him.”
“The wolf has but one song; this Tuliak [10] is stealing it from him,” said another, who could be recognised by his accent as a Little Russian.
“Of course I am from Tula,” replied Scuratoff; “but we don’t stuff ourselves to bursting as you do in your Pultava.”
“Liar! what did you eat yourself? Bark shoes and cabbage soup?”
“You talk as if the devil fed you on sweet almonds,” broke in a third.
“I admit, my friend, that I am an effeminate man,” said Scuratoff with a gentle sigh, as though he were really reproaching himself for his effeminacy. “From my most tender infancy I was brought up in luxury, fed on plums and delicate cakes. My brothers even now have a large business at Moscow. They are wholesale dealers in the wind that blows; immensely rich men, as you may imagine.”
“And what did you sell?”
“I was very successful, and when I received my first two hundred——”
“Roubles? impossible!” interrupted one of the prisoners, struck with amazement at hearing of so large a sum.
“No, my good fellow, not two hundred roubles, two hundred blows of the stick. Luka; I say Luka!”
“Some have the right to call me Luka, but for you I am Luka Kouzmitch,” replied rather ill-temperedly a small, feeble convict with a pointed nose.
“The devil take you, you are really not worth speaking to; yet I wanted to be civil to you. But to continue my story; this is how it happened that I did not remain any longer at Moscow. I received my fifteen last strokes and was then sent off, and was at——”
“But what were you sent for?” asked a convict who had been listening attentively.
“Don’t ask stupid questions. I was explaining to you how it was I did not make my fortune at Moscow; and yet how anxious I was to be rich, you could scarcely imagine how much.”
Many of the prisoners began to laugh. Scuratoff was one of those lively persons, full of animal spirits, who take a pleasure in amusing their graver companions, and who, as a matter of course, received no reward except insults. He belonged to a type of men, to whose characteristics I shall, perhaps, have to return.
“And what a fellow he is now!” observed Luka Kouzmitch. “His clothes alone must be worth a hundred roubles.”
Scuratoff had the oldest and greasiest sheepskin that could be seen. It was mended in many different places with pieces that scarcely hung together. He looked at Luka attentively from head to foot.
“It is my head, friend,” he said, “my head that is worth money. When I took farewell of Moscow, I was half consoled, because my head was to make the journey on my shoulders. Farewell, Moscow, I shall never forget your free air, nor the tremendous flogging I got. As for my sheepskin, you are not obliged to look at it.”
“You would like me, perhaps, to look at your head?”
“If it was really his own natural property, but it was given him in charity,” cried Luka Kouzmitch. “It was a gift made to him at Tumen, when the convoy was passing through the town.”
“Scuratoff, had you a workshop?”
“What workshop could he have? He was only a cobbler,” said one of the convicts.
“It is true,” said Scuratoff, without noticing the caustic tone of the speaker. “I tried to mend boots, but I never got beyond a single pair.”
“And were you paid for them?”
“Well, I found a fellow who certainly neither feared God nor honoured either his father or his mother, and as a punishment, Providence made him buy the work of my hands.”
The men around Scuratoff burst into a laugh.
“I also worked once at the convict prison,” continued Scuratoff, with imperturbable coolness. “I did up the boots of Stepan Fedoritch, the lieutenant.”
“And was he satisfied?”
“No, my dear fellows, indeed he was not; he blackguarded me enough to last me for the rest of my life. He also pushed me from behind with his knee. What a rage he was in! Ah! my life has deceived me. I see no fun in the convict prison whatever.” He began to sing again.
Akolina’s husband is in the court-yard.
There he waits.
Again he sang, and again he danced and leaped.
“Most unbecoming!” murmured the Little Russian, who was walking by my side.
“Frivolous man!” said another in a serious, decided tone.
I could not make out why they insulted Scuratoff, nor why they despised those convicts who were light-hearted, as they seemed to do. I attributed the anger of the Little Russian and the others to a feeling of personal hostility, but in this I was wrong. They were vexed that Scuratoff had not that puffed-up air of false dignity with which the whole of the convict prison was impregnated.
They did not, however, get annoyed with all the jokers, nor treat them all like Scuratoff. Some of them were men who would stand no nonsense, and forgive no one voluntarily or involuntarily. It was necessary to treat them with respect. There was in our band a convict of this very kind, a good-natured, lively fellow, whom I did not see in his true light until later on. He was a tall young fellow, with pleasant manners, and not without good looks. There was at the same time a very comic expression on his face.
He was called the Sapper, because he had served in the Engineers. He belonged to the special section.
But all the serious-minded convicts were not so particular as the Little Russian, who could not bear to see people gay.
We had in our prison several men who aimed at a certain pre-eminence, either in virtue of skill at their work, of their general ingenuity, of their character, or their wit. Many of them were intelligent and energetic, and reached the point they were aiming at—pre-eminence, that is to say, and moral influence over their companions. They often hated one another, and they excited general envy. They looked upon other convicts with a dignified air, that was full of condescension; and they never quarrelled without a cause. Favourably looked upon by the administration, they in some measure directed the work, and none of them would have lowered himself so far as to quarrel with a man about his songs. All these men were very polite to me during the whole time of my imprisonment, but not at all communicative.
At last we reached the bank; a little lower down was the old hulk, which we were to break up, stuck fast in the ice. On the other side of the water was the blue steppe and the sad horizon. I expected to see every one go to work at once. Nothing of the kind. Some of the convicts sat down negligently on wooden beams that were lying near the shore, and nearly all took from their pockets pouches containing native tobacco—which was sold in leaf at the market at the rate of three kopecks a pound—and short wooden pipes. They lighted them while the soldiers formed a circle around them, and began to watch us with a tired look.
“Who the devil had the idea of sinking this barque?” asked one of the convicts in a loud voice, without speaking to any one in particular.
“Were they very anxious, then, to have it broken up?”
“The people were not afraid to give us work,” said another.
“Where are all those peasants going to work?” said the first, after a short silence.
He had not even heard his companion’s answer. He pointed with his finger to the distance, where a troop of peasants were marching in file across the virgin snow.
All the convicts turned negligently towards this side, and began from mere idleness to laugh at the peasants as they approached them. One of them, the last of the line, walked very comically with his arms apart, and his head on one side. He wore a tall pointed cap. His shadow threw itself in clear lines on the white snow.
“Look how our brother Petrovitch is dressed,” said one of my companions, imitating the pronunciation of the peasants of the locality. One amusing thing—the convicts looked down on peasants, although they were for the most part peasants by origin.
“The last one, too, above all, looks as if he were planting radishes.”
“He is an important personage, he has lots of money,” said a third.
They all began to laugh without, however, seeming genuinely amused.
During this time a woman selling cakes came up. She was a brisk, lively person, and it was with her that the five kopecks given by the townsman were spent.
The young fellow who sold white bread in the convict prison took two dozen of her cakes, and had a long discussion with the woman in order to get a reduction in price. She would not, however, agree to his terms.
At last the non-commissioned officer appointed to superintend the work came up with a cane in his hand.
“What are you sitting down for? Begin at once.”
“Give us our tasks, Ivan Matveitch,” said one of the “foremen” among us, as he slowly got up.
“What more do you want? Take out the barque, that is your task.”
Then ultimately the convicts got up and went to the river, but very slowly. Different “directors” appeared, “directors,” at least, in words. The barque was not to be broken up anyhow. The latitudinal and longitudinal beams were to be preserved, and this was not an easy thing to manage.
“Draw this beam out, that is the first thing to do,” cried a convict who was neither a director nor a foreman, but a simple workman. This man, very quiet and a little stupid, had not previously spoken. He now bent down, took hold of a heavy beam with both hands, and waited for some one to help him. No one, however, seemed inclined to do so.
“Not you, indeed, you will never manage it; not even your grandfather, the bear, could do it,” muttered some one between his teeth.
“Well, my friend, are we to begin? As for me, I can do nothing alone,” said, with a morose air, the man who had put himself forward, and who now, quitting the beam, held himself upright.
“Unless you are going to do all the work by yourself, what are you in such a hurry about?”
“I was only speaking,” said the poor fellow, excusing himself for his forwardness.
“Must you have blankets to keep yourselves warm, or are you to be heated for the winter?” cried a non-commissioned officer to the twenty men who seemed to loathe to begin work. “Go on at once.”
“It is never any use being in a hurry, Ivan Matveitch.”
“But you are doing nothing at all, Savelieff. What are you casting your eyes about for? Are they for sale, by chance? Come, go on.”
“What can I do alone?”
“Set us tasks, Ivan Matveitch.”
“I told you before that I had no task to give you. Attack the barque, and when you have finished we will go back to the house. Come, begin.”
The prisoners began work, but with no good-will, and very indolently. The irritation of the chief at seeing these vigorous men remain so idle was intelligible enough. While the first rivet was being removed it suddenly snapped.
“It broke to pieces,” said the convict in self-justification. It was impossible, then, they suggested, to work in such a manner. What was to be done? A long discussion took place between the prisoners, and little by little they came to insults; nor did this seem likely to be the end of it. The under officer cried out again as he agitated his stick, but the second rivet snapped like the first. It was then agreed that hatchets were of no use, and that other tools must be procured. Accordingly, two prisoners were sent under escort to the fortress to get the proper instruments. Waiting their return, the other convicts sat down on the bank as calmly as possible, pulled out their pipes and began again to smoke. Finally, the under officer spat with contempt.
“Well,” he exclaimed, “the work you are doing will not kill you. Oh, what people, what people!” he grumbled, with an ill-natured air. He then made a gesture, and went away to the fortress, brandishing his cane.
After an hour the “conductor” arrived. He listened quietly to what the convicts had to say, declared that the task he gave them was to get off four rivets unbroken, and to demolish a good part of the barque. As soon as this was done the prisoners could go back to the house. The task was a considerable one, but, good heavens! how the convicts now went to work! Where now was their idleness, their want of skill? The hatchets soon began to dance, and soon the rivets were sprung. Those who had no hatchets made use of thick sticks to push beneath the rivets, and thus in due time and in artistic fashion, they got them out. The convicts seemed suddenly to have become intelligent in their conversation. No more insults were heard. Every one knew perfectly what to say, to do, to advise. Just half-an-hour before the beating of the drum, the appointed task was executed, and the prisoners returned to the convict prison fatigued, but pleased to have gained half-an-hour from the working time fixed by the regulations.
As regards myself, I have only one thing to say. Wherever I stood to help the workers I was never in my place; they always drove me away, and generally insulted me. Any one of the ragged lot, any miserable workman who would not have dared to say a syllable to the other convicts, all more intelligent and skilful than he, assumed the right of swearing at me if I went near him, under pretext that I interfered with him in his work. At last one of the best of them said to me frankly, but coarsely:
“What do you want here? Be off with you! Why do you come when no one calls you?”
“That is it,” added another.
“You would do better to take a pitcher,” said a third, “and carry water to the house that is being built, or go to the tobacco factory. You are no good here.”
I was obliged to keep apart. To remain idle while others were working seemed a shame; but when I went to the other end of the barque I was insulted anew.
“What men we have to work!” was the cry. “What can be done with fellows of this kind?”
All this was said spitefully. They were pleased to have the opportunity of laughing at a gentleman.
It will now be understood that my first thought on entering the convict prison was to ask myself how I should ever get on with such people. I foresaw that such incidents would often be repeated; but I resolved not to change my conduct in any way, whatever might be the result. I had decided to live simply and intelligently, without manifesting the least desire to approach my companions; but also without repelling them, if they themselves desired to approach me; in no way to fear their threats or their hatred; and to pretend as much as possible not to be affected by them. Such was my plan. I saw from the first that they would despise me, if I adopted any other course.
When I returned in the evening to the convict prison, having finished my afternoon’s work, fatigued and harassed, a deep sadness took possession of me. “How many thousands of days have I to pass like this one?” Always the same thought. I walked about alone and meditated as night fell, when, suddenly, near the palisade behind the barracks, I saw my friend, Bull, who ran towards me.
Bull was the dog of the prison; for the prison has its dog as companies of infantry, batteries of artillery, and squadrons of cavalry have theirs. He had been there for a long time, belonged to no one, looked upon every one as his master, and lived on the remains from the kitchen. He was a good-sized black dog, spotted with white, not very old, with intelligent eyes, and a bushy tail. No one caressed him or paid the least attention to him. As soon as I arrived I made friends with him by giving him a piece of bread. When I patted him on the back he remained motionless, looked at me with a pleased expression, and gently wagged his tail.
That evening, not having seen me the whole day—me, the first person who in so many years had thought of caressing him—he ran towards me, leaping and barking. It had such an effect on me that I could not help embracing him. I placed his head against my body. He placed his paws on my shoulders and looked me in the face.
“Here is a friend sent to me by destiny,” I said to myself, and during the first weeks, so full of pain, every time that I came back from work I hastened, before doing anything else, to go to the back of the barracks with Bull, who leaped with joy before me. I took his head in my hands and kissed it. At the same time a troubled, bitter feeling pressed my heart. I well remember thinking—and taking pleasure in the thought—that this was my one, my only friend in the world—my faithful dog, Bull.

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CHAPTER VIII. NEW ACQUAINTANCES—PETROFF

Time went on, and little by little I accustomed myself to my new life. The scenes I had daily before me no longer afflicted me so much. In a word, the convict prison, its inhabitants, and its manners, left me indifferent. To get reconciled to this life was impossible, but I had to accept it as an inevitable fact. I had driven entirely away from me all the anxiety by which I had at first been troubled. I no longer wandered through the convict prison like a lost soul, and no longer allowed myself to be subjugated by my anxiety. The wild curiosity of the convicts had had its edge taken off, and I was no longer looked upon with that affectation or insolence previously displayed. They had become indifferent to me, and I was very glad of it. I began to feel at home in the barracks. I knew where to go and sleep at night; gradually I became accustomed to things the very idea of which would formerly have been repugnant to me. I went every week regularly to have my head shaved. We were called every Saturday one after another to the guard-house. The regimental barbers lathered our skulls with cold water and soap, and scraped us afterwards with their saw-like razors.
Merely the thought of this torture gives me a shudder. I soon found a remedy for it—Akim Akimitch pointed it out to me—a prisoner in the military section who for one kopeck shaved those who paid for it with his own razor. This was his trade. Many of the prisoners were his customers merely to avoid the military barbers, yet these were not men of weak nerves. Our barber was called the “major,” why, I cannot say. As far as I know he possessed no points of resemblance with any major. As I write these lines I see clearly before me the “major” and his thin face. He was a tall fellow, silent, rather stupid, absorbed entirely by his business; he was never to be seen without a strop in his hand, on which day and night he sharpened a razor, which was always in admirable condition. He had certainly made this work the supreme object of his life; he was really happy when his razor was quite sharp and his services were in request; his soap was always warm, and he had a very light hand—a hand of velvet. He was proud of his skill, and used to take with a careless air the kopeck he received; one might have thought that he worked from love of his art, and not in order to gain money.
A——f was soundly corrected by our real Major one day, because he had the misfortune to say the “major” when he was speaking of the barber who shaved him. The real Major was in a violent rage.
“Blackguard,” he cried, “do you know what a major is?” and according to his habit he shook A——f violently. “The idea of calling a scoundrel of a convict a ‘major’ in my presence.”
From the first day of my imprisonment I began to dream of my liberation. My favourite occupation was to count thousands and thousands of times in a thousand different manners the number of days that I should have to pass in prison. I thought of that only, and every one deprived of his liberty for a fixed time does the same; of that I am certain. I cannot say that all the convicts had the same degree of hopefulness, but their sanguine character often astonished me. The hopefulness of a prisoner differs essentially from that of a free man. The latter may desire an amelioration in his position, or a realisation of some enterprise which he has undertaken, but meanwhile he lives, he acts; he is swept away in the whirlwind of real life. Nothing of the kind takes place in the case of the convict for life. He lives also in a way, but not being condemned to a fixed number of years, he takes a vaguer view of his situation than the one who is imprisoned for a definite term. The man condemned for a comparatively short period feels that he is not at home; he looks upon himself, so to say, as on a visit; he regards the twenty years of his punishment as two years at most; he is sure that at fifty, when he has finished his sentence, he will be as young and as lively as at thirty-five. “We have time before us,” he thinks, and he strives obstinately to dispel discouraging thoughts. Even a man sentenced for life thinks that some day an order may arrive from St. Petersburg—“Transport such a one to the mines at Nertchinsk and fix a term for his detention.” It would be famous, first because it takes six months to get to Nertchinsk, and the life on the road is a hundred times preferable to the convict prison. He would finish his time at Nertchinsk, and then—more than one gray-haired old man speculates in this way.
At Tobolsk I have seen men fastened to the wall by a chain about two yards long; by their side they have their bed. They are thus chained for some terrible crime committed after their transportation to Siberia; they are kept chained up for five, ten years. They are nearly all brigands, and I only saw one of them who looked like a man of good breeding; he had been in some branch of the Civil Service, and spoke in a soft, lisping way; his smile was sweet but sickly; he showed us his chain, and pointed out to us the most convenient way of lying down. He must have been a nice person! All these poor wretches are perfectly well-behaved; they all seem satisfied, and yet their desire to finish their period of chains devours them. Why? it will be asked. Because then they will leave their low, damp, stifling cells for the court-yard of the convict prison, that is all. These last places of confinement they will never leave; they know that those who have once been chained up will never be liberated, and they will die in irons. They know all this, and yet they are very anxious to be no longer chained up. Without this hope could they remain five or six years fastened to a wall, and not die or go mad?
I soon understood that work alone could save me, by fortifying my health and my body, whereas incessant restlessness of mind, nervous irritation, and the close air of the barracks would ruin them completely. I should go out vigorous and full of elasticity. I did not deceive myself, work and movement were very useful to me.
I saw one of my comrades, to my terror, melt away like a piece of wax; and yet, when he was with me in the convict prison, he was young, handsome, and vigorous; when he left his health was ruined, and his legs could no longer support him. His chest, too, was oppressed by asthma.
“No,” I said to myself, as I gazed upon him; “I wish to live, and I will live.”
My love for work exposed me in the first place to the contempt and bitter laughter of my comrades; but I paid no attention to them, and went away with a light heart wherever I was sent. Sometimes, for instance, to break and pound alabaster. This work, the first that was given to me, is easy. The engineers did their utmost to lighten the task-work of all the gentlemen; this was not indulgence, but simple justice. Would it not have been strange to require the same work from a labourer as from a man whose strength was less by half, and who had never worked with his hands? But we were not “spoilt” in this way for ever, and we were only spared in secret, for we were severely watched. As real severe work was by no means rare, it often happened that the task given to us was beyond the strength of the gentlemen, who thus suffered twice as much as their comrades.
Generally three or four men were sent to pound the alabaster, and nearly always old men or feeble ones were chosen. We were of the latter class. A man skilled in this particular kind of work was sent with us. For several years it was always the same man, Almazoff by name. He was severe, already in years, sunburnt, and very thin, by no means communicative, moreover, and difficult to get on with. He despised us profoundly; but he was of such a reserved disposition that he never broke it sufficient to call us names. The shed in which we calcined the alabaster was built on a sloping and deserted bank of the river. In winter, on a foggy day, the view was sad, both on the river and on the opposite shore, even to a great distance. There was something heartrending in this dull, naked landscape, but it was still sadder when a brilliant sun shone above the boundless white plain. How one would have liked to fly away beyond this steppe, which began on the opposite shore and stretched out for fifteen hundred versts to the south like an immense table-cloth.
Almazoff went to work silently, with a disagreeable air. We were ashamed not to be able to help him more effectually, but he managed to do his work without our assistance, and seemed to wish to make us understand that we were acting unjustly towards him, and that we ought to repent our uselessness. Our work consisted in heating the oven in order to calcine the alabaster that we had got together in a heap.
The day following, when the alabaster was entirely calcined, we turned it out. Each one filled a box of alabaster, which he afterwards crushed. This work was not disagreeable. The fragile alabaster soon became a white, brilliant dust. We brandished our heavy hammers, and dealt such formidable blows, that we admired our own strength. When we were tired we felt lighter, our cheeks were red, the blood circulated more rapidly in our veins. Almazoff would then look at us in a condescending manner, as he would have looked at little children. He smoked his pipe with an indulgent air, unable, however, to prevent himself from grumbling. When he opened his mouth he was never otherwise, and he was the same with every one. At bottom I believe he was a kind man.
They gave me another kind of labour, which consisted in working the turning wheel. This wheel was high and heavy, and great efforts were necessary to make it go round, above all when the workmen from the workshop of the engineers used to make the balustrade of a staircase or the foot of a large table, which required almost the whole trunk. No one man could have done the work alone. To two convicts, B—— (formerly gentleman) and myself, this work was given nearly always for several years, whenever there was anything to turn. B—— was weak, even still young, and somewhat sympathetic. He had been sent to prison a year before me, with two companions who were also of noble birth. One of them, an old man, used to pray day and night. The prisoners respected him greatly for it. He died in prison. The other one was quite a young man, fresh-coloured, strong, and courageous. He had carried his companion B—— for several hundred versts, seeing that at the end of the first half-stage he had fallen down from fatigue. Their friendship for one another was something to see.
B—— was a perfectly well-bred man, of noble and generous disposition, but spoiled and irritated by illness. We used to turn the wheel well together, and the work interested us. As for me, I found the exercise most salutary.
I was very—too—fond of shovelling away the snow, which we generally did after the hurricanes, so frequent in the winter. When the hurricane had been raging for an entire day, more than one house would be buried up to the windows, even if it was not covered over entirely. The hurricane ceased, the sun reappeared, and we were ordered to disengage the houses, barricaded as they were by heaps of snow.
We were sent in large bands, sometimes the whole of the convicts together. Each of us received a shovel and had an appointed task to do, which it sometimes seemed impossible to get through. But we all went to work with a good-will. The light dust-like snow had not yet congealed, and was frozen only on the surface. We removed it in enormous shovelfuls, which were dispersed around us. In the air the snow-dust was as brilliant as diamonds. The shovel sank easily into the white glittering mass. The convicts did this work almost always with gaiety, the cold winter air and the exercise animated them. Every one felt himself in better spirits, laughter and jokes were heard, snowballs were exchanged, which after a time excited the indignation of the serious-minded convicts, who liked neither laughter nor gaiety. Accordingly these scenes finished almost always in showers of insults.
Little by little the circle of my acquaintances increased, although I never thought of making new ones. I was always restless, morose, and mistrustful. Acquaintances, however, were made involuntarily. The first who came to visit me was the convict Petroff. I say visit, and I retain the word, for he lived in the special division which was at the farthest end of the barracks from mine. It seemed as if no relations could exist between him and me, for we had nothing in common.
Nevertheless, during the first period of my stay, Petroff thought it his duty to come towards me nearly every day, or at least to stop me when, after work, I went for a stroll at the back of the barracks as far as possible from observation. His persistence was disagreeable to me; but he managed so well that his visits became at last a pleasing diversion, although he was by no means of a communicative disposition. He was short, strongly built, agile, and skilful. He had rather an agreeable voice, and high cheek-bones, a bold look, and white, regular teeth. He had always a quid of tobacco in his mouth between the lower lip and the gums. Many of the convicts had the habit of chewing. He seemed to me younger than he really was, for he did not appear to be more than thirty, and he was really forty. He spoke to me without any ceremony, and behaved to me on a footing of equality with civility and attention. If, for instance, he saw that I wished to be alone, he would talk to me for about two minutes and then go away. He thanked me, moreover, each time for my kindness in conversing with him, which he never did to any one else. I must add that his relations underwent no change not only during the first period of my story, but for several years, and that they never became more intimate, although he was really my friend. I never could say exactly what he looked for in my society, nor why he came every day to see me. He robbed me sometimes, but almost involuntarily. He never came to me to borrow money; so that what attracted him was not personal interest.
It seemed to me, I know not why, that this man did not live in the same prison with me, but in another house in the town, far away. It appeared as though he had come to the convict prison by chance in order to pick up news, to inquire for me, in short, to see how I was getting on. He was always in a hurry, as though he had left some one for a moment who was waiting for him, or as if he had given up for a time some matter of business. And yet he never hurried himself. His look was strongly fixed, with a slight air of levity and irony. He had a habit of looking into the distance above the objects near him, as though he were endeavouring to distinguish something behind the person to whom he was talking. He always seemed absent-minded. I sometimes asked myself where he went when he left me, where could Petroff be so anxiously expected? He would simply go with a light step to one of the barracks or to the kitchen, and sit down to hear the conversation. He listened attentively, and joined in with animation; after which he would suddenly become silent. But whether he spoke or kept silent, one could always see on his countenance that he had business somewhere else, and that some one was waiting for him in the town, not very far away. The most astonishing thing was that he never had any business—apart, of course, from the hard labour assigned to him. He knew no trade, and had scarcely ever any money. But that did not seem to grieve him. Why did he speak to me? His conversation was as strange as he himself was singular. When he noticed that I was walking alone at the back of the barracks he made a stand, and turned towards me. He walked very fast, and when I turned he was suddenly on his heel. He approached me walking, but so quickly that he seemed to be going at a run.
“Good-morning.”
“Good-morning.”
“I am not disturbing you?”
“No.”
“I wish to ask you something about Napoleon. I wanted to ask you if he is not a relation of the one who came to us in the year 1812.”
Petroff was a soldier’s son, and knew how to read and write.
“Of course he is.”
“People say he is President. What President—and of what?”
His questions were always rapid and abrupt, as though he wished to know as soon as possible what he asked. I explained to him of what Napoleon was President, and I added that perhaps he would become Emperor.
“How will that be?”
I explained it to him as well as I could; Petroff listened with attention. He understood perfectly all I told him, and added, as he leant his ear towards me:
“Hem! Ah, I wished to ask you, Alexander Petrovitch, if there are really monkeys who have hands instead of feet, and are as tall as a man?”
“Yes.”
“What are they like?”
I described them to him, and told him what I knew on the subject.
“And where do they live?”
“In warm climates. There are some to be found in the island of Sumatra.”
“Is that in America? I have heard that people there walk with their heads downwards.”
“No, no; you are thinking of the Antipodes.” I explained to him as well as I could what America was, and what the Antipodes. He listened to me as attentively as if the question of the Antipodes had alone caused him to approach me.
“Ah, ah! I read last year the story of the Countess de la Vallière. Arevieff had bought this book from the Adjutant. Is it true or is it an invention? The work is by Dumas.”
“It is an invention, no doubt.”
“Ah, indeed. Good-bye. I am much obliged to you.”
And Petroff disappeared. The above may be taken as a specimen of our ordinary conversation.
I made inquiries about him. M—— thought he had better speak to me on the subject, when he learnt what an acquaintance I had made. He told me that many convicts had excited his horror on their arrival; but not one of them, not even Gazin, had produced upon him such a frightful impression as this Petroff.
“He is the most resolute, most to be feared of all the convicts,” said M——. “He is capable of anything, nothing stops him if he has a caprice. He will assassinate you, if the fancy takes him, without hesitation and without the least remorse. I often think he is not in his right senses.”
This declaration interested me extremely; but M—— was never able to tell me why he had such an opinion of Petroff. Strangely enough, for many years together I saw this man and talked with him nearly every day. He was always my sincere friend, though I could not at the time tell why, and during the whole time he lived very quietly, and did nothing extreme. I am moreover convinced that M—— was right, and that he was perhaps a most intrepid man and the most difficult to restrain in the whole prison. And why so, I can scarcely explain.
This Petroff was that very convict who, when he was called up to receive his punishment, had wished to kill the Major. I have told you the latter was saved by a miracle—that he had gone away one minute before the punishment was inflicted.
Once when he was still a soldier—before his arrival at the convict prison—his Colonel had struck him on parade. Probably he had often been beaten before, but that day he was not in a humour to bear an insult, in open day, before the battalion drawn up in line. He killed his Colonel. I don’t know all the details of the story, for he never told it to me himself. It must be understood that these explosions only took place when the nature within him spoke too loudly, and these occasions were rare; as a rule he was serious and even quiet. His strong, ardent passions were not burnt out, but smouldering, like burning coals beneath ashes.
I never noticed that he was vain, or given to bragging like so many other convicts. He hardly ever quarrelled, but he was on friendly relations with scarcely any one, except, perhaps, Sirotkin, and then only when he had need of him. I saw him, however, one day seriously irritated. Some one had offended him by refusing him something he wanted. He was disputing on the point with a tall convict, as vigorous as an athlete, named Vassili Antonoff, known for his nagging, spiteful disposition. The man, however, who belonged to the class of civil convicts, was far from being a coward. They shouted at one another for some time, and I thought the quarrel would finish like so many others of the same kind, by simple interchange of abuse. The affair took an unexpected turn. Petroff only suddenly turned pale, his lips trembled, and turned blue, his respiration became difficult. He got up, and slowly, very slowly, and with imperceptible steps—he liked to walk about with his feet naked—approached Antonoff; at once the noise of shouting gave place to a death-like silence—a fly passing through the air might have been heard—every one anxiously awaited the event. Antonoff pointed to his adversary. His face was no longer human. I was unable to endure the scene, and I left the prison. I was certain that before I got to the staircase I should hear the shrieks of a man who was being murdered; but nothing of the kind took place. Before Petroff had succeeded in getting up to Antonoff, the latter threw him the object which had caused the quarrel—a miserable rag, a worn-out piece of lining.
Of course afterwards, Antonoff did not fail to call Petroff names, merely as a matter of conscience, and from a feeling of what was right, in order to show that he had not been too much afraid; but Petroff paid no attention to his insults, he did not even answer him. Everything had ended to his advantage, and the insults scarcely affected him; he was glad to have got his piece of rag.
A quarter of an hour later he was strolling about the barracks quite unoccupied, looking for some group whose conversation might possibly gratify his curiosity. Everything seemed to interest him, and yet he remained apparently indifferent to all he heard. He might have been compared to a workman, a vigorous workman, whom the work fears; but who, for the moment, has nothing to do, and condescends meanwhile to put out his strength in playing with his children. I did not understand why he remained in prison, why he did not escape. He would not have hesitated to get away if he had really desired to do so. Reason has no power on people like Petroff unless they are spurred on by will. When they desire something there are no obstacles in their way. I am certain that he would have been clever enough to escape, that he would have deceived every one, that he would have remained for a time without eating, hid in a forest, or in the bulrushes of the river; but the idea had evidently not occurred to him. I never noticed in him much judgment or good sense. People like him are born with one idea, which, without being aware of it, pursues them all their life. They wander until they meet with some object which apparently excites their desire, and then they do not mind risking their head. I was sometimes astonished that a man who had assassinated his Colonel for having been struck, would lie down without opposition beneath the rods, for he was always flogged when he was detected introducing spirits into the prison. Like all those who had no settled occupation, he smuggled in spirits; then, if caught, he would allow himself to be whipped as though he consented to the punishment, and confessed himself in the wrong. Otherwise they would have killed him rather than make him lie down. More than once I was astonished to see that he was robbing me in spite of his affection for me; but he did so from time to time. Thus he stole my Bible, which I had asked him to carry to its place. He had only a few steps to go; but on his way he met with a purchaser, to whom he sold the book, at once spending the money he had received on vodka. Probably he felt that day a violent desire for drink, and when he desired something it was necessary that he should have it. A man like Petroff will assassinate any one for twenty-five kopecks, simply to get himself a pint of vodka. On any other occasion he will disdain hundreds and thousands of roubles. He told me the same evening of the theft he had committed, but without showing the least sign of repentance or confusion, in a perfectly indifferent tone, as though he were speaking of an ordinary incident. I endeavoured to reprove him as he deserved, for I regretted the loss of my Bible. He listened to me without hesitation very calmly. He agreed that the Bible was a very useful book, and sincerely regretted that I had it no longer; but he was not for one moment sorry, though he had stolen it. He looked at me with such assurance that I gave up scolding him. He bore my reproaches because he thought I could not do otherwise than I was doing. He knew that he ought to be punished for such an action, and consequently thought I ought to abuse him for my own satisfaction, and to console myself for my loss. But in his inner heart he considered that it was all nonsense, to which a serious man ought to be ashamed to descend. I believe even that he looked upon me as a child, an infant, who does not yet understand the simplest things in the world. If I spoke to him of anything, except books and matters of knowledge, he would answer me, but only from politeness, and in laconic phrases. I wondered what made him question me so much on the subject of books. I looked at him carefully during our conversation to assure myself that he was not laughing at me; but no, he listened seriously, and with an attention which was genuine, though not always maintained. This latter circumstance irritated me sometimes. The questions he put to me were clear and precise, and he always seemed prepared for the answer. He had made up his mind once for all that it was no use speaking to me as to other matters, and that, apart from books, I understood nothing. I am certain that he was attached to me, and much that fact astonished me; but he looked upon me as a child, or as an imperfect man. He felt for me that sort of compassion which every stronger being feels for a weaker; he took me for—I do not know what he took me for. Although this compassion did not prevent him from robbing me, I am sure that in doing so he pitied me.
“What a strange person!” he must have said to himself, as he lay hands on my property; “he does not even know how to take care of what he possesses.” That, I think, is why he liked me. One day he said to me as if involuntarily:
“You are too good-natured, you are so simple, so simple that one cannot help pitying you. Do not be offended at what I was saying to you, Alexander Petrovitch,” he added a minute afterwards, “it is not ill-meant.”
People like Petroff will sometimes, in times of trouble and excitement, manifest themselves in a forcible manner; then they find the kind of activity which suits them; they are not men of words; they could not be instigators and chiefs of insurrections, but they are the men who execute and act; they act simply without any fuss, and run just to throw themselves against an obstacle with bared breast, neither thinking nor fearing. Every one follows them to the foot of the wall, where they generally leave their life. I do not think Petroff can have ended well, he was marked for a violent end; and if he is not yet dead, that only means that the opportunity has not yet presented itself. Who knows, however? He will, perhaps, die of extreme old age, quite quietly, after having wandered through life, here and there, without an object; but I believe M—— was right, and that Petroff was the most determined man in the whole convict prison.

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CHAPTER IX. MEN OF DETERMINATION—LUKA

It is difficult to speak of these men of determination. In the convict prison, as elsewhere, they are rare. They can be known by the fear they inspire; people beware of them. An irresistible feeling urged me first of all to turn away from them, but I afterwards changed my point of view, even in regard to the most frightful murderers. There are men who have never killed any one, and who, nevertheless, are more atrocious than those who have assassinated six persons. It is impossible to form an idea of certain crimes, of so strange a nature are they.
A type of murderers that one often meets with is the following: A man lives calmly and peacefully. His fate is a hard one, but he puts up with it. He is a peasant attached to the soil, a domestic serf, a shopkeeper, or a soldier. Suddenly he finds something give way within him; what he has hitherto suffered he can bear no longer, and he plunges his knife into the breast of his oppressor or his enemy. He then goes beyond all measure. He has killed his oppressor, his enemy. That can be understood—there was cause for that crime; but afterwards he does not assassinate his enemies alone, but the first person he happens to meet he kills for the pleasure of killing—for an abusive word, for a look, to make an equal number, or only because some one is standing in his way. He behaves like a drunken man—a man in a delirium. When once he has passed the fatal line, he is himself astonished to find that nothing sacred exists for him. He breaks through all laws, defies all powers, and gives himself boundless license. He enjoys the agitation of his own heart and the terror that he inspires. He knows all the same that a frightful punishment awaits him. His sensations are probably like those of a man who, looking down from a high tower on to the abyss yawning at his feet, would be happy to throw himself head first into it in order to bring everything to an end. That is what happens with even the most quiet, the most commonplace individuals. There are some even who give themselves airs in this extremity. The more they were quiet, self-effacing before, the more they now swagger and seek to inspire fear. The desperate men enjoy the horror they cause; they take pleasure in the disgust they excite; they perform acts of madness from despair, and care nothing how it must all end, or seem impatient that it should end as soon as possible. The most curious thing is that their excitement, their exaltation, will last until the pillory. After that the thread is cut, the moment is fatal, and the man becomes suddenly calm, or, rather, he becomes extinct, a thing without feeling. In the pillory all his strength fails him, and he begs pardon of the people. Once at the convict prison, he is quite different. No one would ever imagine that this white-livered chicken had killed five or six men.
There are some men whom the convict prison does not easily subdue. They preserve a certain swagger, a spirit of bravado.
“I say, I am not what you take me for; I have sent six fellows out of the world,” you will hear them boast; but sooner or later they have all to submit. From time to time, the murderer will amuse himself by recalling his audacity, his lawlessness when he was in a state of despair. He likes at these moments to have some silly fellow before whom he can brag, and to whom he will relate his heroic deeds, by pretending not to have the least wish to astonish him. “That is the sort of man I am,” he says.
And with what a refinement of prudent conceit he watches him while he is delivering his narrative! In his accent, in every word, this can be perceived. Where did he acquire this particular kind of artfulness?
During the long evening of one of the first days of my confinement, I was listening to one of these conversations. Thanks to my inexperience I took the narrator for the malefactor, a man with an iron character, a man to whom Petroff was nothing. The narrator, Luka Kouzmitch, had “knocked over” a Major, for no other reason but that it pleased him to do so. This Luka Kouzmitch was the smallest and thinnest man in all the barracks. He was from the South. He had been a serf, one of those not attached to the soil, but who serve their masters as domestics. There was something cutting and haughty in his demeanour. He was a little bird, but had a beak and nails. The convicts sum up a man instinctively. They thought nothing of this one, he was too susceptible and too full of conceit.
That evening he was stitching a shirt, seated on his camp-bedstead. Close to him was a narrow-minded, stupid, but good-natured and obliging fellow, a sort of Colossus, Kobylin by name. Luka often quarrelled with him in a neighbourly way, and treated him with a haughtiness which, thanks to his good-nature, Kobylin did not notice in the least. He was knitting a stocking, and listening to Luka with an indifferent air. Luka spoke in a loud voice and very distinctly. He wished every one to hear him, though he was apparently speaking only to Kobylin.
“I was sent away,” said Luka, sticking his needle in the shirt, “as a brigand.”
“How long ago?” asked Kobylin.
“When the peas are ripe it will be just a year. Well, we got to K——v, and I was put into the convict prison. Around me there were a dozen men from Little Russia, well-built, solid, robust fellows, like oxen, and how quiet! The food was bad, the Major of the prison did what he liked. One day passed, then another, and I soon saw that all these fellows were cowards.
“‘You are afraid of such an idiot?’ I said to them.
“‘Go and talk to him yourself,’ and they burst out laughing like brutes that they were. I held my tongue.
“There was one fellow so droll, so droll,” added the narrator, now leaving Kobylin to address all who chose to listen.
“This droll fellow was telling them how he had been tried, what he had said, and how he had wept with hot tears.
“‘There was a dog of a clerk there,’ he said, ‘who did nothing but write and take down every word I said. I told him I wished him at the devil, and he actually wrote that down. He troubled me so, that I quite lost my head.’”
“Give me some thread, Vasili; the house thread is bad, rotten.”
“There is some from the tailor’s shop,” replied Vasili, handing it over to him.
“Well, but about this Major?” said Kobylin, who had been quite forgotten.
Luka was only waiting for that. He did not go on at once with his story, as though Kobylin were not worth such a mark of attention. He threaded his needle quietly, bent his legs lazily beneath him, and at last continued as follows:
“I excited the fellows to such an extent that they all called out against the Major. That same morning I had borrowed the ‘rascal [11]’ from my neighbour, and had hid it, so as to be ready for anything. When the Major arrived, he was as furious as a madman. ‘Come now, you Little Russians,’ I whispered to them, ‘this is not the time for fear.’ But, dear me, all their courage had slipped down to the soles of their feet, they trembled! The Major came in, he was quite drunk.
“‘What is this, how do you dare? I am your Tzar, your God,’ he cried.
“When he said that he was the Tzar and God, I went up to him with my knife in my sleeve.
“‘No,’ I said to him, ‘your high nobility,’ and I got nearer and nearer to him, ‘that cannot be. Your “high nobility” cannot be our Tzar and our God.’
“‘Ah, you are the man, it is you,’ cried the Major; ‘you are the leader of them.’
“‘No,’ I answered, and I got still nearer to him; ‘no, your “high nobility,” as every one knows, and as you yourself know, the all-powerful God present everywhere is alone in heaven. And we have only one Tzar placed above every one else by God himself. He is our monarch, your “high nobility.” And, your “high nobility,” you are as yet only Major, and you are our chief only by the grace of the Tzar, and by your merits.’
“‘How? how? how?’ stammered the Major. He could not speak, so astounded was he.
“This is how I answered, and I threw myself upon him and thrust my knife into his belly up to the hilt. It had been done very quickly; the Major tottered, turned, and fell.
“I had thrown my life away.
“‘Now, you fellows,’ I cried, ‘it is for you to pick him up.’”
I will here make a digression from my narrative. The expression, “I am the Tzar! I am God!” and other similar ones were once, unfortunately, too often employed in the good old times by many commanders. I must admit that their number has seriously diminished, and perhaps even the last has already disappeared. Let me observe that those who spoke in this way were, above all, men promoted from the ranks. The grade of officer had turned their brain upside down. After having laboured long years beneath the knapsack, they suddenly found themselves officers, commanders, and nobles above all. Thanks to their not being accustomed to it, and to the first excitement caused by their promotion, they contracted an exaggerated idea of their power and importance relatively to their subordinates. Before their superiors such men are revoltingly servile. The most fawning of them will even say to their superiors that they have been common soldiers, and that they do not forget their place. But towards their inferiors they are despots without mercy. Nothing irritates the convicts so much as such abuses. These overweening opinions of their own greatness; this exaggerated idea of their immunity, causes hatred in the hearts of the most submissive men, and drives the most patient to excesses. Fortunately, all this dates from a time that is almost forgotten, and even then the superior authorities used to deal very severely with abuses of power. I know more than one example of it. What exasperates the convicts above all is disdain or repugnance manifested by any one in dealing with them. Those who think that it is only necessary to feed and clothe the prisoner, and to act towards him in all things according to the law, are much mistaken. However much debased he may be, a man exacts instinctively respect for his character as a man. Every prisoner knows perfectly that he is a convict and a reprobate, and knows the distance which separates him from his superiors; but neither the branding irons nor chains will make him forget that he is a man. He must, therefore, be treated with humanity. Humane treatment may raise up one in whom the divine image has long been obscured. It is with the “unfortunate,” above all, that humane conduct is necessary. It is their salvation, their only joy. I have met with some chiefs of a kind and noble character, and I have seen what a beneficent influence they exercised over the poor, humiliated men entrusted to their care. A few affable words have a wonderful moral effect upon the prisoners. They render them as happy as children, and make them sincerely grateful towards their chiefs. One other remark—they do not like their chiefs to be familiar and too much hail-fellow-well-met with them. They wish to respect them, and familiarity would prevent this. The prisoners will feel proud, for instance, if their chief has a number of decorations; if he has good manners; if he is well-considered by a powerful superior; if he is severe, but at the same time just, and possesses a consciousness of dignity. The convicts prefer such a man to all others. He knows what he is worth, and does not insult others. Everything then is for the best.
“You got well skinned for that, I suppose,” asked Kobylin.
“As for being skinned, indeed, there is no denying it. Ali, give me the scissors. But, what next; are we not going to play at cards to-night?”
“The cards we drank up long ago,” remarked Vassili. “If we had not sold them to get drink they would be here now.”
“If!—— Ifs fetch a hundred roubles a piece on the Moscow market.”
“Well, Luka, what did you get for sticking him?” asked Kobylin.
“It brought me five hundred strokes, my friend. It did indeed. They did all but kill me,” said Luka, once more addressing the assembly and without heeding his neighbour Kobylin. “When they gave me those five hundred strokes, I was treated with great ceremony. I had never before been flogged. What a mass of people came to see me! The whole town had assembled to see the brigand, the murderer, receive his punishment. How stupid the populace is!—I cannot tell you to what extent. Timoshka the executioner undressed me and laid me down and cried out, ‘Look out, I am going to grill you!’ I waited for the first stroke. I wanted to cry out, but could not. It was no use opening my mouth, my voice had gone. When he gave me the second stroke—you need not believe me unless you please—I did not hear when they counted two. I returned to myself and heard them count seventeen. Four times they took me down from the board to let me breathe for half-an-hour, and to souse me with cold water. I stared at them with my eyes starting from my head, and said to myself, ‘I shall die here.’”
“But you did not die,” remarked Kobylin innocently.
Luka looked at him with disdain, and every one burst out laughing.
“What an idiot! Is he wrong in the upper storey?” said Luka, as if he regretted that he had condescended to speak to such an idiot.
“He is a little mad,” said Vassili on his side.
Although Luka had killed six persons, no one was ever afraid of him in the prison. He wished, however, to be looked upon as a terrible person.

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CHAPTER X. ISAIAH FOMITCH—THE BATH—BAKLOUCHIN.

But the Christmas holidays were approaching, and the convicts looked forward to them with solemnity. From their mere appearance it was easy to see that something extraordinary was about to arrive. Four days before the holidays they were to be taken to the bath; every one was pleased, and was making preparations. We were to go there after dinner. On this occasion there was no work in the afternoon, and of all the convicts the one who was most pleased, and showed the greatest activity, was a certain Isaiah Fomitch Bumstein, a Jew, of whom I spoke in my fifth chapter. He liked to remain stewing in the bath until he became unconscious. Whenever I think of the prisoner’s bath, which is a thing not to be forgotten, the first thought that presents itself to my memory is of that very glorious and eternally to be remembered, Isaiah Fomitch Bumstein, my prison companion. Good Lord! what a strange man he was! I have already said a few words about his face. He was fifty years of age, his face wrinkled, with frightful scars on his cheeks and on his forehead, and the thin, weak body of a fowl. His face expressed perpetual confidence in himself, and, I may almost say, perfect happiness. I do not think he was at all sorry to be condemned to hard labour. He was a jeweller by trade, and as there was no other in the town, he had always plenty of work to do, and was more or less well paid. He wanted nothing, and lived, so to say, sumptuously, without spending all that he gained, for he saved money and lent it out to the other convicts at interest. He possessed a tea-urn, a mattress, a tea-cup, and a blanket. The Jews of the town did not refuse him their patronage. Every Saturday he went under escort to the synagogue (which was authorised by the law); and he lived like a fighting cock. Nevertheless, he looked forward to the expiration of his term of imprisonment in order to get married. He was the most comic mixture of simplicity, stupidity, cunning, timidity, and bashfulness; but the strangest thing was that the convicts never laughed, or seriously mocked him—they only teased him for amusement. Isaiah Fomitch was a subject of distraction and amusement for every one.
“We have only one Isaiah Fomitch, we will take care of him,” the convicts seemed to say; and as if he understood this, he was proud of his own importance. From the account given to me it appeared he had entered the convict prison in the most laughable manner (it took place before my arrival). Suddenly one evening a report was spread in the convict prison that a Jew had been brought there, who at that moment was being shaved in the guard-house, and that he was immediately afterwards to be taken to the barracks. As there was not a single Jew in the prison, the convicts looked forward to his entry with impatience, and surrounded him as soon as he passed the great gates. The officer on service took him to the civil prison, and pointed out the place where his plank bedstead was to be.
Isaiah Fomitch held in his hand a bag containing the things given to him, and some other things of his own. He put down his bag, took his place at the plank bedstead, and sat down there with his legs crossed, without daring to raise his eyes. People were laughing all round him. The convicts ridiculed him by reason of his Jewish origin. Suddenly a young convict left the others, and came up to him, carrying in his hand an old pair of summer trousers, dirty, torn, and mended with old rags. He sat down by the side of Isaiah Fomitch, and struck him on the shoulder.
“Well, my dear fellow,” said he, “I have been waiting for the last six years; look up and tell me how much you will give for this article,” holding up his rags before him.
Isaiah Fomitch was so dumbfounded that he did not dare to look at the mocking crowd, with mutilated and frightful countenances, now grouped around him, and did not speak a single word, so frightened was he. When he saw who was speaking to him he shuddered, and began to examine the rags carefully. Every one waited to hear his first words.
“Well, cannot you give me a silver rouble for it? It is certainly worth that,” said the would-be vendor smiling, and looking towards Isaiah Fomitch with a wink.
“A silver rouble! no; but I will give you seven kopecks.”
These were the first words pronounced by Isaiah Fomitch in the convict prison. A loud laugh was heard from all sides.
“Seven kopecks! Well, give them to me; you are lucky, you are indeed. Look! Take care of the pledge, you answer for it with your head.”
“With three kopecks for interest; that will make ten kopecks you will owe me,” said the Jew, at the same time slipping his hand into his pocket to get out the sum agreed upon.
“Three kopecks interest—for a year?”
“No, not for a year, for a month.”
“You are a terrible screw, what is your name?”
“Isaiah Fomitch.”
“Well, Isaiah Fomitch, you ought to get on. Good-bye.”
The Jew examined once more the rags on which he had lent seven kopecks, folded them up, and put them carefully away in his bag. The convicts continued to laugh at him.
In reality every one laughed at him, but, although every prisoner owed him money, no one insulted him; and when he saw that every one was well disposed towards him, he gave himself haughty airs, but so comic that they were at once forgiven.
Luka, who had known many Jews when he was at liberty, often teased him, less from malice than for amusement, as one plays with a dog or a parrot. Isaiah Fomitch knew this and did not take offence.
“You will see, Jew, how I will flog you.”
“If you give me one blow I will return you ten,” replied Isaiah Fomitch valiantly.
“Scurvy Jew.”
“As scurvy as you like; I have in any case plenty of money.”
“Bravo! Isaiah Fomitch. We must take care of you. You are the only Jew we have; but they will send you to Siberia all the same.”
“I am already in Siberia.”
“They will send you farther on.”
“Is not the Lord God there?”
“Of course, he is everywhere.”
“Well, then! With the Lord God, and money, one has all that is necessary.”
“What a fellow he is!” cries every one around him.
The Jew sees that he is being laughed at, but does not lose courage. He gives himself airs. The flattery addressed to him causes him much pleasure, and with a high, squealing falsetto, which is heard throughout the barracks, he begins to sing, “la, la, la, la,” to an idiotic and ridiculous tune; the only song he was heard to sing during his stay at the convict prison. When he made my acquaintance, he assured me solemnly that it was the song, and the very air, that was sung by 600,000 Jews, small and great, when they crossed the Red Sea, and that every Israelite was ordered to sing it after a victory gained over an enemy.
The eve of each Saturday the convicts came from the other barracks to ours, expressly to see Isaiah Fomitch celebrating his Sabbath. He was so vain, so innocently conceited, that this general curiosity flattered him immensely. He covered the table in his little corner with a pedantic air of importance, opened a book, lighted two candles, muttered some mysterious words, and clothed himself in a kind of chasuble, striped, and with sleeves, which he preserved carefully at the bottom of his trunk. He fastened to his hands leather bracelets, and finally attached to his forehead, by means of a ribbon, a little box, which made it seem as if a horn were starting from his head. He then began to pray. He read in a drawling voice, cried out, spat, and threw himself about with wild and comic gestures. All this was prescribed by the ceremonies of his religion. There was nothing laughable or strange in it, except the airs which Isaiah Fomitch gave himself before us in performing his ceremonies. Then he suddenly covered his head with both hands, and began to read with many sobs. His tears increased, and in his grief he almost lay down upon the book his head with the ark upon it, howling as he did so; but suddenly in the midst of his despondent sobs he burst into a laugh, and recited with a nasal twang a hymn of triumph, as if he were overcome by an excess of happiness.
“Impossible to understand it,” the convicts would sometimes say to one another. One day I asked Isaiah Fomitch what these sobs signified, and why he passed so suddenly from despair to triumphant happiness. Isaiah Fomitch was very pleased when I asked him these questions. He explained to me directly that the sobs and tears were provoked by the loss of Jerusalem, and that the law ordered the pious Jew to groan and strike his breast; but at the moment of his most acute grief he was suddenly to remember that a prophecy had foretold the return of the Jews to Jerusalem, and he was then to manifest overflowing joy, to sing, to laugh, and to recite his prayers with an expression of happiness in his voice and on his countenance. This sudden passage from one phase of feeling to another delighted Isaiah Fomitch, and he explained to me this ingenious prescription of his faith with the greatest satisfaction.
One evening, in the midst of his prayers, the Major entered, followed by the officer of the guard and an escort of soldiers. All the prisoners got immediately into line before their camp-bedsteads. Isaiah Fomitch alone continued to shriek and gesticulate. He knew that his worship was authorised, and that no one could interrupt him, so that in howling in the presence of the Major he ran no risk. It pleased him to throw himself about beneath the eyes of the chief.
The Major approached within a few steps. Isaiah Fomitch turned his back to the table, and just in front of the officer began to sing his hymn of triumph, gesticulating and drawling out certain syllables. When he came to the part where he had to assume an expression of extreme happiness, he did so by blinking with his eyes, at the same time laughing and nodding his head in the direction of the Major. The latter was at first much astonished; then he burst into a laugh, called out, “Idiot!” and went away, while the Jew still continued to shriek. An hour later, when he had finished, I asked him what he would have done if the Major had been wicked enough and foolish enough to lose his temper.
“What Major?”
“What Major! Did you not see him? He was only two steps from you, and was looking at you all the time.” But Isaiah Fomitch assured me as seriously as possible that he had not seen the Major, for while he was saying his prayers he was in such a state of ecstasy that he neither saw nor heard anything that was taking place around him.
I can see Isaiah Fomitch wandering about on Saturday throughout the prison, endeavouring to do nothing, as the law prescribes to every Jew. What improbable anecdotes he told me! Every time he returned from the synagogue he always brought me some news of St. Petersburg, and the most absurd rumours imaginable from his fellow Jews of the town, who themselves had received them at first hand. But I have already spoken too much of Isaiah Fomitch.
In the whole town there were only two public baths. The first, kept by a Jew, was divided into compartments, for which one paid fifty kopecks. It was frequented by the aristocracy of the town.
The other bath, old, dirty, and close, was destined for the people. It was there that the convicts were taken. The air was cold and clear. The prisoners were delighted to get out of the fortress and have a walk through the town. During the walk their laughter and jokes never ceased. A platoon of soldiers, with muskets loaded, accompanied us. It was quite a sight for the town’s-people. When we had reached our destination, the bath was so small that it did not permit us all to enter at once. We were divided into two bands, one of which waited in the cold room while the other one bathed in the hot one. Even then, so narrow was the room that it was difficult for us to understand how half of the convicts could stand together in it.
Petroff kept close to me. He remained by my side without my having begged him to do so, and offered to rub me down. Baklouchin, a convict of the special section, offered me at the same time his services. I recollect this prisoner, who was called the “Sapper,” as the gayest and most agreeable of all my companions. We had become intimate friends. Petroff helped me to undress, because I was generally a long time getting my things off, not being yet accustomed to the operation; and it was almost as cold in the dressing-room as outside the doors.
It is very difficult for a convict who is still a novice to get his things off, for he must know how to undo the leather straps which fasten on the chains. These leather straps are buckled over the shirt, just beneath the ring which encloses the leg. One pair of straps costs sixty kopecks, and each convict is obliged to get himself a pair, for it would be impossible to walk without their assistance. The ring does not enclose the leg too tightly. One can pass the finger between the iron and the flesh; but the ring rubs against the calf, so that in a single day the convict who walks without leather straps, gets his skin broken.
To take off the straps presents no difficulty. It is not the same with the clothes. To get the trousers off is in itself a prodigious operation, and the same may be said of the shirt whenever it has to be changed. The first who gave us lessons in this art was Koreneff, a former chief of brigands, condemned to be chained up for five years. The convicts are very skilful at the work, and do it readily.
I gave a few kopecks to Petroff to buy soap and a bunch of the twigs with which one rubs oneself in the bath. Bits of soap were given to the convicts, but they were not larger than pieces of two kopecks. The soap was sold in the dressing-room, as well as mead, cakes of white flour, and boiling water; for each convict received but one pailful, according to the agreement made between the proprietor of the bath and the administration of the prison. The convicts who wished to make themselves thoroughly clean, could for two kopecks buy another pailful, which the proprietor handed to them through a window pierced in the wall for that purpose. As soon as I was undressed, Petroff took me by the arm and observed to me that I should find it difficult to walk with my chains.
“Drag them up on to your calves,” he said to me, holding me by the arms at the same time, as if I were an old man. I was ashamed at his care, and assured him that I could walk well enough by myself, but he did not believe me. He paid me the same attention that one gives to an awkward child. Petroff was not a servant in any sense of the word. If I had offended him, he would have known how to deal with me. I had promised him nothing for his assistance, nor had he asked me for anything. What inspired him with so much solicitude for me?
Represent to yourself a room of twelve feet long by as many broad, in which a hundred men are all crowded together, or at least eighty, for we were in all two hundred divided into two sections. The steam blinded us; the sweat, the dirt, the want of space, were such that we did not know where to put a foot down. I was frightened and wished to go out. Petroff hastened to reassure me. With great trouble we succeeded in raising ourselves on to the benches, by passing over the heads of the convicts, whom we begged to bend down, in order to let us pass; but all the benches were already occupied. Petroff informed me that I must buy a place, and at once entered into negotiations with the convict who was near the window. For a kopeck this man consented to cede me his place. After receiving the money, which Petroff held tight in his hand, and which he had prudently provided himself with beforehand, the man crept just beneath me into a dark and dirty corner. There was there, at least, half an inch of filth; even the places above the benches were occupied, the convicts swarmed everywhere. As for the floor there was not a place as big as the palm of the hand which was not occupied by the convicts. They sent the water in spouts out of their pails. Those who were standing up washed themselves pail in hand, and the dirty water ran all down their body to fall on the shaved heads of those who were sitting down. On the upper bench, and the steps which led to it, were heaped together other convicts who washed themselves more thoroughly, but these were in small number. The populace does not care to wash with soap and water, it prefers stewing in a horrible manner, and then inundating itself with cold water. That is how the common people take their bath. On the floor could be seen fifty bundles of rods rising and falling at the same time, the holders were whipping themselves into a state of intoxication. The steam became thicker and thicker every minute, so that what one now felt was not a warm but a burning sensation, as from boiling pitch. The convicts shouted and howled to the accompaniment of the hundred chains shaking on the floor. Those who wished to pass from one place to another got their chains mixed up with those of their neighbours, and knocked against the heads of the men who were lower down than they. Then there were volleys of oaths as those who fell dragged down the ones whose chains had become entangled in theirs. They were all in a state of intoxication of wild exultation. Cries and shrieks were heard on all sides. There was much crowding and crushing at the window of the dressing-room through which the hot water was delivered, and much of it got spilt over the heads of those who were seated on the floor before it arrived at its destination. We seemed to be fully at liberty; and yet from time to time, behind the window of the dressing-room, or through the open door, could be seen the moustached face of a soldier, with his musket at his feet, watching that no serious disorder took place.
The shaved heads of the convicts, and their red bodies, which the steam made the colour of blood, seemed more monstrous than ever. On their backs, made scarlet by the steam, stood out in striking relief the scars left by the whips and the rods, made long before, but so thoroughly that the flesh seemed to have been quite recently torn. Strange scars. A shudder passed through me at the mere sight of them. Again the volume of steam increased, and the bath-room was now covered with a thick, burning cloud, covering agitation and cries. From this cloud stood out torn backs, shaved heads; and, to complete the picture, Isaiah Fomitch howling with joy on the highest of the benches. He was saturating himself with steam. Any other man would have fainted away, but no temperature is too high for him; he engages the services of a rubber for a kopeck, but after a few moments the latter is unable to continue, throws away his bunch of twigs, and runs to inundate himself with cold water. Isaiah Fomitch does not lose courage, he runs to hire a second rubber, then a third; on these occasions he thinks nothing of expense, and changes his rubber four or five times. “He stews well, the gallant Isaiah Fomitch,” cry the convicts from below. The Jew feels that he goes beyond all the others, he has beaten them; he triumphs with his hoarse falsetto voice, and sings out his favourite air which rises above the general hubbub. It seemed to me that if ever we met in hell we should be reminded of the place where we then were. I could not resist a wish to communicate this idea to Petroff. He looked all round him, but made no answer.
I wished to buy a place for him on the bench by my side; but he sat down at my feet and declared that he felt quite at his ease. Baklouchin meanwhile bought us some hot water which he would bring to us as soon as we wanted it. Petroff offered to clean me from head to foot, and he begged me to go through the preliminary stewing process. I could not make up my mind to it. At last he rubbed me all over with soap. I wished to make him understand that I could wash myself, but it was no use contradicting him and I gave myself up to him.
When he had done with me he took me back to the dressing-room, holding me up, and telling me at each step to take care, as if I had been made of porcelain. He helped me to put on my clothes, and when he had finished his kindly work he rushed back to the bath to have a thorough stewing.
When we got back to the barracks I offered him a glass of tea, which he did not refuse. He drank it and thanked me. I wished to go to the expense of a glass of vodka in his honour, and I succeeded in getting it on the spot. Petroff was exceedingly pleased. He swallowed his vodka with a murmur of satisfaction, declared that I had restored him to life, and then suddenly rushed to the kitchen, as if the people who were talking there could not decide anything important without him.
Now another man came up for a talk. This was Baklouchin, of whom I have already spoken, and whom I had also invited to take tea.
I never knew a man of a more agreeable disposition than Baklouchin. It must be admitted that he never forgave a wrong, and that he often got into quarrels. He could not, above all, endure people interfering with his affairs. He knew, in a word, how to take care of himself; but his quarrels never lasted long, and I believe that all the convicts liked him. Wherever he went he was well received. Even in the town he was looked upon as the most amusing man in the world. He was a man of lofty stature, thirty years old, with a frank, determined countenance, and rather good-looking, with his tuft of hair on his chin. He possessed the art of changing his face in such a comic manner by imitating the first person he happened to see, that the people around him were constantly in a roar. He was a professed joker, but he never allowed himself to be slighted by those who did not enjoy his fun. Accordingly, no one spoke disparagingly of him. He was full of life and fire. He made my acquaintance at the very beginning of my imprisonment, and related to me his military career, when he was a sapper in the Engineers, where he had been placed as a favour by people of influence. He put a number of questions to me about St. Petersburg; he even read books when he came to take tea with me. He amused the whole company by relating how roughly Lieutenant K—— had that morning handled the Major. He told me, moreover, with a satisfied air, as he took his seat by my side, that we should probably have a theatrical representation in the prison. The convicts proposed to get up a play during the Christmas holidays. The necessary actors were found, and, little by little, the scenery was prepared. Some persons in the town had promised to lend women’s clothes for the performance. Some hopes were even entertained of obtaining, through the medium of an officer’s servant, a uniform with epaulettes, provided only the Major did not take it into his head to forbid the performance, as he had done the previous year. He was at that time in ill-humour through having lost at cards, and he had been annoyed at something that had taken place in the prison. Accordingly, in a fit of ill-humour, he had forbidden the performance. It was possible, however, that this year he would not prevent it. Baklouchin was in a state of exultation. It could be seen that he would be one of the principal supporters of the meditated theatre. I made up my mind to be present at the performance. The ingenuous joy which Baklouchin manifested in speaking of the undertaking was quite touching. From whispering, we gradually got to talk of the matter quite openly. He told me, among other things, that he had not served at St. Petersburg alone. He had been sent to R—— with the rank of non-commissioned officer in a garrison battalion.
“From there they sent me on here,” added Baklouchin.
“And why?” I asked him.
“Why? You would never guess, Alexander Petrovitch. Because I was in love.”
“Come now. A man is not exiled for that,” I said, with a laugh.
“I should have added,” continued Baklouchin, “that it made me kill a German with a pistol-shot. Was it worth while to send me to hard labour for killing a German? Only think.”
“How did it happen? Tell me the story. It must be a strange one.”
“An amusing story indeed, Alexander Petrovitch.”
“So much the better. Tell me.”
“You wish me to do so? Well, then, listen.”
And he told me the story of his murder. It was not “amusing,” but it was indeed strange.
“This is how it happened,” began Baklouchin; “I had been sent to Riga, a fine, handsome city, which has only one fault, there are too many Germans there. I was still a young man, and I had a good character with my officers. I wore my cap cocked on the side of my head, and passed my time in the most agreeable manner. I made love to the German girls. One of them, named Luisa, pleased me very much. She and her aunt were getters-up of fine linen. The old woman was a true caricature; but she had money. First of all I merely passed under the young girl’s windows; but I soon made her acquaintance. Luisa spoke Russian well enough, though with a slight accent. She was charming. I never saw any one like her. I was most pressing in my advances; but she only replied that she would preserve her innocence, that as a wife she might prove worthy of me. She was an affectionate, smiling girl, and wonderfully neat. In fact, I assure you, I never saw any one like her. She herself had suggested that I should marry her, and how was I not to marry her? Suddenly Luisa did not come to her appointment. This happened once, then twice, then a third time. I sent her a letter, but she did not reply. ‘What is to be done?’ I said to myself. If she had been deceiving me she could easily have taken me in. She could have answered my letter and come all the same to the appointment; but she was incapable of falsehood. She had simply broken off with me. ‘This is a trick of the aunt,’ I said to myself. I was afraid to go to her house.
“Even though she was aware of our engagement, we acted as if she were ignorant of it. I wrote a fine letter in which I said to Luisa, ‘If you don’t come, I will come to your aunt’s for you.’ She was afraid and came. Then she began to weep, and told me that a German named Schultz, a distant relation of theirs, a clockmaker by trade, and of a certain age, but rich, had shown a wish to marry her—in order to make her happy, as he said, and that he himself might not remain without a wife in his old age. He had loved her a long time, so she told me, and had been nourishing this idea for years, but he had kept it a secret, and had never ventured to speak out. ‘You see, Sasha,’ she said to me, ‘that it is a question of my happiness; for he is rich, and would you prevent my happiness?’ I looked her in the face, she wept, embraced me, clasped me in her arms.
“‘Well, she is quite right,’ I said to myself, ‘what good is there in marrying a soldier—even a non-commissioned officer? Come, farewell, Luisa. God protect you. I have no right to prevent your happiness.’
“‘And what sort of a man is he? Is he good-looking?’
“‘No, he is old, and he has such a long nose.’
“She here burst into a fit of laughter. I left her. ‘It was my destiny,’ I said to myself. The next day I passed by Schultz’ shop (she had told me where he lived). I looked through the window and saw a German, who was arranging a watch, forty-five years of age, an aquiline nose, swollen eyes, a dress-coat with a very high collar. I spat with contempt as I looked at him. At that moment I was ready to break the shop windows, but ‘What is the use of it?’ I said to myself; ‘there is nothing more to be done: it is over, all over.’ I got back to the barracks as the night was falling, and stretched myself out on my bed, and—will you believe it, Alexander Petrovitch?—began to sob—yes, to sob. One day passed, then a second, then a third. I saw Luisa no more. I had learned, however, from an old woman (she was also a washerwoman, and the girl I loved used sometimes to visit her), that this German knew of our relations, and that for that reason he had made up his mind to marry her as soon as possible, otherwise he would have waited two years longer. He had made Luisa swear that she would see me no more. It appeared that on account of me he had refused to loosen his purse-strings, and kept Luisa and her aunt very close. Perhaps he would yet change his idea, for he was not very resolute. The old woman told me that he had invited them to take coffee with him the next day, a Sunday, and that another relation, a former shopkeeper, now very poor, and an assistant in some liquor store, would also come. When I found that the business was to be settled on Sunday, I was so furious that I could not recover my cold blood, and the following day I did nothing but reflect. I believe I could have devoured that German. On Sunday morning I had not come to any decision. As soon as the service was over I ran out, got into my great-coat, and went to the house of this German. I thought I should find them all there. Why I went to the German, and what I meant to say to him, I did not know myself.
“I slipped a pistol into my pocket to be ready for everything; a little pistol which was not worth a curse, with an old-fashioned lock—a thing I had used when I was a boy, and which was really fit for nothing. I loaded it, however, because I thought they would try to kick me out, and that the German would insult me, in which case I would pull out my pistol to frighten them all. I arrived. There was no one on the staircase; they were all in the work-room. No servant. The one girl who waited upon them was absent. I crossed the shop and saw that the door was closed—an old door fastened from the inside. My heart beat; I stopped and listened. They were speaking German. I broke open the door with a kick. I looked round. The table was laid; there was a large coffee-pot on it, with a spirit lamp underneath, and a plate of biscuits. On a tray there was a small decanter of brandy, herrings, sausages, and a bottle of some wine. Luisa and her aunt, both in their Sunday best, were seated on a sofa. Opposite them, the German was exhibiting himself on a chair, got up like a bridegroom, and in his coat with the high collar, and with his hair carefully combed. On the other side, there was another German, old, fat, and gray. He was taking no part in the conversation. When I entered, Luisa turned very pale. The aunt sprang up with a bound and sat down again. The German became angry. What a rage he was in! He got up, and walking towards me, said:
“‘What do you want?’
“I should have lost my self-possession if anger had not supported me.
“‘What do I want? Is this the way to receive a guest? Why do you not offer him something to drink? I have come to pay you a visit.’
“The German reflected a moment, and then said, ‘Sit down.’
“I sat down.
“‘Here is some vodka. Help yourself, I beg.’
“‘And let it be good,’ I cried, getting more and more into a rage.
“‘It is good.’
“I was enraged to see him looking at me from top to toe. The most frightful part of it was, that Luisa was looking on. I took a drink and said to him:
“‘Look here, German, what business have you to speak rudely to me? Let us be better acquainted. I have come to see you as friends.’
“‘I cannot be your friend,’ he replied. ‘You are a private soldier.’
“Then I lost all self-command.
“‘Oh, you German! You sausage-seller! You know how much you are in my power. Look here; do you wish me to break your head with this pistol?’
“I drew out my pistol, got up, and struck him on the forehead. The women were more dead than alive; they were afraid to breathe. The eldest of the two men, quite white, was trembling like a leaf.
“The German seemed much astonished. But he soon recovered himself.
“‘I am not afraid of you,’ he said, ‘and I beg of you, as a well-bred man, to put an end to this pleasantry. I am not afraid of you!’
“‘You are afraid! You dare not move while this pistol is presented at you.’
“‘You dare not do such a thing!’ he cried.
“‘And why should I not dare?’
“‘Because you would be severely punished.’
“May the devil take that idiot of a German! If he had not urged me on, he would have been alive now.
“‘So you think I dare not?’
“‘No.’
“‘I dare not, you think?’
“‘You would not dare!’
“‘Wouldn’t I, sausage-maker?’ I fired the pistol, and down he sank on his chair. The others uttered shrieks. I put back my pistol in my pocket, and when I returned to the fortress, threw it among some weeds near the principal entrance.
“Inside the barracks I laid on my bed, and said to myself, ‘I shall be taken away soon.’ One hour passed, then another, but I was not arrested.
“Towards evening I felt so sad, I went out at all hazards to see Luisa; I passed before the house of the clockmaker’s. There were a number of people there, including the police. I ran on to the old woman’s and said:
“‘Call Luisa!’
“I had only a moment to wait. She came immediately, and threw herself on my neck in tears.
“‘It is my fault,’ she said. ‘I should not have listened to my aunt.’
“She then told me that her aunt, immediately after the scene, had gone back home. She was in such a fright that she fell and did not speak a word; she had uttered nothing. On the contrary, she ordered her niece to be as silent as herself.
“‘No one has seen her since,’ said Luisa.
“The clockmaker had previously sent his servant away, for he was afraid of her. She was jealous, and would have scratched his eyes out had she known that he wished to get married.
“There were no workmen in the house, he had sent them all away; he had himself prepared the coffee and collation. As for the relation, who had scarcely spoken a word all his life, he took his hat, and, without opening his mouth, went away.
“‘He is quite sure to be silent,’ added Luisa.
“So, indeed, he was. For two weeks no one arrested me nor suspected me the least in the world.
“You need not believe me unless you choose, Alexander Petrovitch.
“These two weeks were the happiest in my life. I saw Luisa every day. And how much she had become attached to me!
“She said to me through her tears: ‘If you are exiled, I will go with you. I will leave everything to follow you.’
“I thought of making away with myself, so much had she moved me; but after two weeks I was arrested. The old man and the aunt had agreed to denounce me.”
“But,” I interrupted, “Baklouchin, for that they would only have given you from ten to twelve years’ hard labour, and in the civil section; yet you are in the special section. How does that happen?”
“That is another affair,” said Baklouchin. “When I was taken before the Council of War, the captain appointed to conduct the case began by insulting me, and calling me names before the Tribunal. I could not stand it, and shouted out to him: ‘Why do you insult me? Don’t you see, you scoundrel! that you are only looking at yourself in the glass?’
“This brought a new charge against me. I was tried a second time, and for the two things was condemned to four thousand strokes, and to the special section. When I was taken out to receive my punishment in the Green Street, the captain was at the same time sent away. He had been degraded from his rank, and was despatched to the Caucasus as a private soldier. Good-bye, Alexander Petrovitch. Don’t fail to come to our performance.”

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CHAPTER XI. THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS

The holidays were approaching. On the eve of the great day the convicts scarcely ever went to work. Those who had been assigned to the sewing workshops, and a few others, went to work as usual; but they went back almost immediately to the convict prison, separately, or in parties. After dinner no one worked. From the early morning the greater part of the convicts were occupied with their own affairs, and not with those of the administration. Some were making arrangements for bringing in spirits, while others were seeking permission to see their friends, or to collect small accounts due to them for the work they had already executed. Baklouchin, and the convicts who were to take part in the performance, were endeavouring to persuade some of their acquaintances, nearly all officers’ servants, to procure for them the necessary costumes. Some of them came and went with a business-like air, solely because others were really occupied. They had no money to receive, and yet seemed to expect a payment. Every one, in short, seemed to be looking for a change of some kind. Towards evening the old soldiers, who executed the convicts’ commissions, brought them all kinds of victuals—meat, sucking-pigs, and geese. Many prisoners, even the most simple and most economical, after saving up their kopecks throughout the year, thought they ought to spend some of them that day, so as to celebrate Christmas Eve in a worthy manner. The day afterwards was for the convicts a still greater festival, one to which they had a right, as it was recognised by law. The prisoners could not be sent to work that day. There were not three days like it in all the year.
And, moreover, what recollections must have been agitating the souls of those reprobates at the approach of such a solemn day! The common people from their childhood kept the great festival in their memory. They must have remembered with anguish and torments these days which, work being laid aside, are passed in the bosom of the family. The respect of the convicts for that day had something imposing about it. The drunkards were not at all numerous; nearly every one was serious, and, so to say, preoccupied, though they had for the most part nothing to do. Even those who feasted most preserved a serious air. Laughter seemed to be forbidden. A sort of intolerant susceptibility reigned throughout the prison; and if any one interfered with the general repose, even involuntarily, he was soon put in his proper place, with cries and oaths. He was condemned as though he had been wanting in respect to the festival itself.
This disposition of the convicts was remarkable, and even touching. Besides the innate veneration they have for this great day, they foresee that in observing the festival they are in communion with the rest of the world; that they are not altogether reprobates lost and cast off by society. The usual rejoicings took place in the convict prison as well as outside. They felt all that. I saw it, and understood it myself.
Akim Akimitch had made great preparations for the festival. He had no family recollections, being an orphan, born in a strange house, and put into the army at the age of fifteen. He could never have experienced any great joys, having always lived regularly and uniformly in the fear of infringing the rules imposed upon him, nor was he very religious; for his acquired formality had stifled in him all human feeling, all passions and likings, good or bad. He accordingly prepared to keep Christmas without exciting himself about it. He was saddened by no painful, useless recollection. He did everything with the punctuality imposed upon him in the execution of his duties, and in order once for all to get through the ceremony in a becoming manner. Moreover, he did not care to reflect upon the importance of the day, had never troubled his brain about it, even while he was executing his prescribed duties with religious minuteness. If he had been ordered the day following to do contrary to what he had done the evening before he would have done it with equal submission. Once in life, once, and once only, he had wished to act by his own impulse—and he had been sent to hard labour for it.
This lesson had not been lost upon him, although it was written that he was never to understand his fault. He had yet become impressed with this salutary moral principle: never to reason in any matter because his mind was not equal to the task of judging. Blindly devoted to ceremonies, he looked with respect at the sucking-pig which he had stuffed with millet-seed, and which he had roasted himself (for he had some culinary skill), just as if it had not been an ordinary sucking-pig which could have been bought and roasted at any time, but a particular kind of animal born specially for Christmas Day. Perhaps he had been accustomed from his tender infancy to see that day a sucking-pig on the table, and he may have concluded that a sucking-pig was indispensable for the proper celebration of the festival. I am certain that if by ill-luck he had not eaten this particular kind of meat on that day, he would have been troubled with remorse all his life for not having done his duty. Until Christmas morning he wore his old vest and his old trousers, which had long been threadbare. I then learned that he kept carefully in his box his new clothes which had been given to him four months before, and that he had not put them on once, in order that he might wear them for the first time on Christmas Day. He did so. The evening before he took his new clothes out of his trunk, unfolded, examined them, cleaned them, blew on them to remove the dust, and when he was convinced that they were perfect, probably tried them on. The dress became him perfectly; all the different garments suited one another. The waistcoat buttoned up to the neck, the collar, straight and stiff like cardboard, kept his chin in its proper place. There was a military cut about the dress; and Akim Akimitch, as he wore it, smiled with satisfaction, turning himself round and round, not without swagger, before a little mirror adorned with a gilt border.
One of the waistcoat-buttons alone seemed out of place; Akim Akimitch remarked it, and at once set it right. He tried on the vest again and found it irreproachable. Then he folded up his things as before, and with a satisfied mind locked them up in his box until the next day. His skull was sufficiently shaved; but, after careful examination, Akim Akimitch came to the conclusion that it was not in good condition, his hair had imperceptibly sprung up. He accordingly went immediately to the “Major” to be properly shaved according to the rules. In reality no one would have dreamed of looking at him next day, but he was acting conscientiously in order to fulfil all his duties. This care lest the smallest button, the least thread of an epaulette, the slightest string of a tassel should go wrong, was engraved in his mind as an imperious duty, and in his heart as the image of the most perfect order that could possibly be attained. As one of the “old hands” in the barracks, he saw that hay was brought and strewed about on the floor; the same thing was done in the other barracks. I do not know why, but hay was always strewed on the ground at Christmas time.
As soon as Akim Akimitch had finished his work he said his prayers, stretched himself on his bed, and went to sleep, with the sleep of a child, in order to wake up as early as possible the next day. The other convicts did the same. It must be added that all of them went to bed, but sooner than usual. They gave up their ordinary evening work that day. As for playing cards, no one would have dared even to speak of such a thing; every one was anxiously expecting the next morning.
At last this morning arrived. At an early hour, even before it was light, the drum was sounded, and the under officer, whose duty it was to count the convicts, wished them a happy Christmas. The prisoners answered him in an affable and amiable tone by expressing a like wish. Akim Akimitch, and many others, who had their geese and their sucking-pigs, went to the kitchen, after saying their prayers, in a hurried manner to see where their victuals were and how they were being cooked.
Through the little windows of our barracks, half hidden by the snow and the ice, could be seen, flaring in the darkness, the bright fire of the two kitchens where six stoves had been lighted. In the court-yard, where it was still dark, the convicts, each with a half pelisse round his shoulders, or perhaps fully dressed, were hurrying towards the kitchen. Some of them, meanwhile—a very small number—had already visited the drink-sellers. They were the impatient ones, but they behaved becomingly, possibly much better than on ordinary days; neither quarrels nor insults were heard, every one understood that it was a great day, a great festival. The convicts went even to visit the other barracks in order to wish the inmates a happy Christmas; that day a sort of friendship seemed to exist between them all. I will remark in passing that the convicts have scarcely ever any intimate friendships. It was very rare to see a man on confidential terms with any other man, as, in the outer world. We were generally harsh and abrupt in our mutual relations. With some rare exceptions this was the general tone adopted and maintained.
I went out of the barracks like the others. It was beginning to get late. The stars were paling, a light, icy mist was rising from the earth, and spirals of smoke were ascending in curls from the chimneys. Several convicts whom I met wished me, with affability, a happy Christmas. I thanked them and returned their wishes. Some of them had never spoken to me before.
Near the kitchen, a convict from the military barracks, with his sheepskin on his shoulder, came up to me. Recognising me, he called out from the middle of the court-yard, “Alexander Petrovitch.” He ran towards me. I waited for him. He was a young fellow, with a round face and soft eyes, and not at all communicative as a rule. He had not spoken to me since my arrival, and seemed never to have noticed me. I did not know on my side what his name was. When he came up, he remained planted before me, smiling with a vacuous smile, but with a happy expression of countenance.
“What do you want?” I asked, not without astonishment.
He remained standing before me, still smiling and staring, but without replying to my question.
“Why, it is Christmas Day,” he muttered.
He understood that he had nothing more to say, and now hastened into the kitchen.
I must add that, after this we scarcely ever met, and that we never spoke to one another again.
Round the flaming stoves of the kitchen the convicts were rubbing and pushing against one another. Every one was watching his own property. The cooks were preparing the dinner, which was to take place a little earlier than usual. No one began to eat before the time, though a good many wished to do so; but it was necessary to be well-behaved before the others. We were waiting for the priest, and the fast preceding Christmas would not be at an end until his arrival.
It was not yet perfectly light, when the corporal was already heard shouting out from behind the principal gate of the prison:
“The kitchen; the kitchen.”
These calls were repeated without interruption for about two hours. The cooks were wanted in order to receive gifts brought from all parts of the town in enormous numbers; loaves of white bread, scones, rusks, pancakes, and pastry of various kinds. I do not think there was a shop-keeper in the whole town who did not send something to the “unfortunates.” Amongst these gifts there were some magnificent ones, including a good many cakes of the finest flour. There were also some very poor ones, such as rolls worth two kopecks a piece, and a couple of brown rolls, covered lightly over with sour cream. These were the offerings of the poor to the poor, on which a last kopeck had often been spent.
All these gifts were accepted with equal gratitude, without reference to the value or the giver. The convicts, on receiving the offerings, took off their caps and thanked the donors with low bows, wishing them a happy Christmas, and then carried the things to the kitchen.
When a number of loaves and cakes had been collected, the elders of each barrack were called, and it was for them to divide the whole in equal portions among all the sections. The division excited neither protest nor annoyance. It was made honestly, equitably. Akim Akimitch, helped by another prisoner, divided between the convicts of our barracks the share assigned to us, and gave to each of us what came to him. Every one was satisfied. No objection was made by any one. There was not the least manifestation of envy, and it occurred to no one to deceive another.
When Akim Akimitch had finished at the kitchen, he proceeded religiously to dress himself, and did so with a solemn air. He buttoned up his waistcoat button by button, in the most punctilious manner. Then, when he had got his new clothes on, he went to pray, which occupied him a considerable time. Numbers of convicts fulfilled their religious duties, but these were for the most part old men. The young men scarcely ever prayed. The most they did was to make the sign of the cross when they rose from table, and that happened only on festival days.
Akim Akimitch came up to me as soon as he had finished his prayer, to express to me the usual good wishes. I invited him to have some tea, and he returned my politeness by offering me some of his sucking-pig. After some time Petroff came up to address to me the usual compliments. I think he had been already drinking, and although he seemed to have much to say, he scarcely spoke. He stood up before me for some seconds, and then went back to the kitchen. The priest was now expected in the military section of the barracks. This section was not constructed like the others. The camp-bedsteads were arranged all along the wall, and not in the middle of the room as in all the others, so that it was the only one in which the middle was not obstructed. It had been probably arranged in this manner so that in case of necessity it might be easier to assemble the convicts. A small table had been prepared in the middle of the room, and a holy image placed upon it, before which burned a little lamp.
At last the priest arrived, with the cross and holy water. He prayed and chanted before the image, and then turned towards the convicts, who one after the other came and kissed the cross. The priest then walked through all the barracks, sprinkling them with holy water. When he got to the kitchen he praised the bread of the convict prison, which had quite a reputation in town. The convicts at once expressed a desire to send him two loaves of new bread, still hot, which an old soldier was ordered to take to his house forthwith. The convicts walked back after the cross with the same respect as they had received it. Almost immediately afterwards, the Major and the Commandant arrived. The Commandant was liked, and even respected. He made the tour of the barracks in company with the Major, wished the convicts a happy Christmas, went into the kitchen, and tasted the cabbage soup. It was excellent that day. Each convict was entitled to nearly a pound of meat, besides which there was millet-seed in it, and certainly the butter had not been spared. The Major saw the Commandant to the door, and then ordered the convicts to begin dinner. Each endeavoured not to be under the Major’s eyes. They did not like his spiteful, inquisitorial look from behind his spectacles as he wandered from right to left, seeking apparently some disorder to repress, some crime to punish.
We dined. Akim Akimitch’s sucking-pig was admirably roasted. I could never understand how, five minutes after the Major left, there was a mass of drunken prisoners, whereas as long as he remained every one was perfectly calm. Red, radiant faces were now numerous, and the balalaiki soon appeared. Then came the little Pole, playing his violin, a convivial prisoner having engaged him for the whole day to play lively dance-tunes. The conversation became more animated and more noisy, but the dinner ended without great disorders. Every one had had enough. Some of the old men, serious-minded convicts, went immediately to bed. So did Akim Akimitch, who probably thought it was a duty to go to sleep after dinner on festival days.
The “old believer” from Starodoub, after having slumbered a little, climbed up on to the top of the stove, opened his book, and prayed the entire day until late in the evening without interruption. The spectacle of so shameless an orgy was painful to him, he said. All the Circassians left the table. They looked with curiosity, but with a touch of disgust, at this drunken society. I met Nourra.
“Aman, aman,” he said, with a burst of honest indignation, and shaking his head. “What an offence to Allah!” Isaiah Fomitch lighted, with an arrogant and obstinate air, a candle in his favourite corner, and went to work in order to show that in his eyes this was no holiday. Here and there card parties were arranged. The convicts did not fear the old soldiers, but men were placed on the look-out in case the under officer should suddenly come in. He made a point, however, of seeing nothing. The officer of the guard made altogether three rounds. The prisoners, if they were drunk, hid themselves at once. The cards disappeared in the twinkling of an eye. I fancy that he had made up his mind not to notice any contraventions of an unimportant kind. Drunkenness was not an offence that day. Little by little every one became more or less gay. Then there were some quarrels. The greater number of the prisoners, however, remained calm, amusing themselves with the spectacle of those who were intoxicated. Some of these drank without limit.
Gazin was triumphant. He walked about with a self-satisfied air, by the side of his camp bedstead, beneath which he had concealed his spirits, previously buried beneath the snow behind the barracks, in a secret place. He smiled knowingly when he saw customers arrive in crowds. He was perfectly calm. He had drunk nothing at all; for it was his intention to regale himself the last day of the holidays, after he had emptied the pockets of the other prisoners. Throughout the barracks the drunkenness was becoming infernal. Singing was heard, and the songs were giving way to tears. Some of the prisoners walked about in bands, sheepskin on shoulder, striking with a haughty air the strings of their balalaiki. A chorus of from eight to ten men had been formed in the special section. The singing here was excellent, with its accompaniments of balalaiki and guitars.
Songs of a truly popular kind were rare. I remember one which was admirably sung:
Yesterday, I, a young girl,
Went to the feast.
A variation was introduced previously unknown to me. At the end of the song these lines were added:
At my house, the house of a young girl,
Everything is in order.
I have washed the spoons,
I have turned out the cabbage-soup,
I have wiped down the panels of the door,
I have cooked the patties.
What they chiefly sang were prison songs; one of them, called “As it happened,” was very humorous. It related how a man amused himself, and lived like a prince until he was sent to the convict prison, where he fared very differently. Another song, only too popular, set forth how the hero of it had formerly possessed capital, but had now nothing but captivity. Here is a true convict’s song:
The day breaks in the heavens,
We are waked up by the drum.
The old man opens the door,
The warder comes and calls us.
No one sees us behind the prison walls,
Nor how we live in this place.
But God, the Heavenly Creator, is with us
He will not let us perish.
Another still more melancholy, but with a superb melody, was sung to tame and incorrect words. I can remember a few of the verses:
My eyes no more will see the land,
Where I was born;
To suffer torments undeserved,
Will be my punishment.
The owl will shriek upon the roof,
And raise the echoes of the forest.
My heart is broken down with grief.
No, never more shall I return.
This song is often sung; not as a chorus, but always as a solo. When the work is over, a prisoner goes out of the barracks, sits down on the threshold, meditates with his chin resting on his hand, and then drawls out his song in a high falsetto. One listens to him, and the effect is heart-breaking. Some of our convicts had beautiful voices.
Meanwhile it was getting dusk. Wearisomeness and general depression were making themselves felt through the drunkenness and the debauchery. The prisoner, who an hour beforehand was holding his sides with laughter, now sobbed in a corner, exceedingly drunk; others were fighting, or wandering in a tottering manner through the barracks, pale, very pale, and seeking whom to quarrel with. These poor people had wished to pass the great festival in the most joyous manner, but, gracious heaven, how painful the day was for all of them! They had passed it in the vague hope of a happiness that was not to be realised. Petroff came up to me twice. As he had drunk very little he was calm; but until the last moment he expected something which he made sure would happen, something extraordinary, and highly diverting. Although he said nothing about it, this could be seen from his looks. He ran from barrack to barrack without fatigue. Nothing, however, happened; nothing except general intoxication, idiotic insults from drunkards, and general giddiness of heated heads.
Sirotkin wandered about also, dressed in a brand-new red shirt, going from barrack to barrack, and good-looking as usual. He also was on the watch for something to happen. The spectacle became insupportably repulsive, indeed nauseating. There were some laughable things, but I was too sad to be amused by them. I felt a deep pity for all these men, and felt strangled, stifled, in the midst of them. Here two convicts were disputing as to which should treat the other. The dispute lasted a long time; they have almost come to blows. One of them has, for a long time past, had a grudge against the other. He complains, stammering as he does so, and tries to prove to his companion that he acted unjustly when, a year before, he sold a pelisse and concealed the money. There was more than this too. The complainant is a tall young fellow, with good muscular development, quiet, by no means stupid, but who, when he is drunk, wishes to make friends with every one, and to pour out his grief into their bosom. He insults his adversary with the intention of becoming reconciled to him later on. The other man, a big, massive person, with a round face, as cunning as a fox, had perhaps drunk more than his companion, but appeared only slightly intoxicated. This convict has character, and passes for a rich man; he has probably no interest in irritating his companion, and he accordingly leads him to one of the drink-sellers. The expansive friend declares that his companion owes him money, and that he is bound to stand him a drink “if he has any pretensions to be considered an honest man.”
The drink-seller, not without some respect for his customer, and with a touch of contempt for the expansive friend (for he was drinking at the expense of another man), took a glass and filled it with vodka.
“No, Stepka, you must pay, because you owe me money.”
“I won’t tire my tongue talking to you any longer,” replied Stepka.
“No, Stepka, you lie,” continues his friend, taking up a glass offered to him by the drink-seller. “You owe me money, and you must be without conscience. You have not a thing about you that you have not borrowed, and I don’t believe your very eyes are your own. In a word, Stepka, you are a blackguard.”
“What are you whining about? Look, you are spilling your vodka.”
“If you are being treated, why don’t you drink?” cries the drink-seller, to the expansive friend. “I cannot wait here until to-morrow.”
“I will drink, don’t be frightened. What are you crying out about? My best wishes for the day. My best wishes for the day, Stepan Doroveitch,” replies the latter politely, as he bows, glass in hand, towards Stepka, whom the moment before he had called a blackguard. “Good health to you, and may you live a hundred years in addition to what you have lived already.” He drinks, gives a grunt of satisfaction, and wipes his mouth. “What quantities of brandy I have drunk,” he says, gravely speaking to every one, without addressing any one in particular, “but I have finished now. Thank me, Stepka Doroveitch.”
“There is nothing to thank you for.”
“Ah! you won’t thank me. Then I will tell every one how you have treated me, and, moreover, that you are a blackguard.”
“Then I shall have something to tell you, drunkard that you are,” interrupts Stepka, who at last loses patience. “Listen and pay attention. Let us divide the world in two. You shall take one half, I the other. Then I shall have peace.”
“Then you will not give me back my money?”
“What money do you want, drunkard?”
“My money. It is the sweat of my brow; the labour of my hands. You will be sorry for it in the other world. You will be roasted for those five kopecks.”
“Go to the devil.”
“What are you driving me for? Am I a horse?”
“Be off, be off.”
“Blackguard!”
“Convict!”
And the insults exchanged were worse than they had been before the visit to the drink-seller.
Two friends are seated separately on two camp-bedsteads. One is tall, vigorous, fleshy, with a red face—a regular butcher. He is on the point of weeping; for he has been much moved. The other is tall, thin, conceited, with an immense nose, which always seems to have a cold, and little blue eyes fixed upon the ground. He is a clever, well-bred man, and was formerly a secretary. He treats his friend with a little disdain, which the latter cannot stand. They have been drinking together all day.
“You have taken a liberty with me,” cries the stout one, as with his left hand he shakes the head of his companion. To take a liberty signifies, in convict language, to strike. This convict, formerly a non-commissioned officer, envies in secret the elegance of his neighbour, and endeavours to make up for his material grossness by refined conversation.
“I tell you, you are wrong,” says the secretary, in a dogmatic tone, with his eyes obstinately fixed on the ground, and without looking at his companion.
“You struck me. Do you hear?” continues the other, still shaking his dear friend. “You are the only man in the world I care for; but you shall not take a liberty with me.”
“Confess, my dear fellow,” replies the secretary, “that all this is the result of too much drink.”
The corpulent friend falls back with a stagger, looks stupidly with his drunken eyes at the secretary, and suddenly, with all his might, sends his fist into the secretary’s thin face. Thus terminates the day’s friendship.
The dear friend disappears beneath the camp-bedstead unconscious.
One of my acquaintances enters the barracks. He is a convict of the special section, very good-natured, and gay, far from stupid, and jocular without malice. He is the man who, on my arrival at the convict prison, was looking out for a rich peasant, who spoke so much of his self-respect, and ended by drinking my tea. He was forty years old, had enormous lips, and a fat, fleshy, red nose. He held a balalaika, and struck negligently its strings. He was followed by a little convict, with a large head, whom I knew very little, and to whom no one paid any attention. Now that he was drunk he had attached himself to Vermaloff, and followed him like his shadow, at the same time gesticulating and striking with his fist the wall and the camp-bedsteads. He was almost in tears. Vermaloff did not notice him any more than if he had not existed. The most curious point was that these two men in no way resembled one another, neither by their occupations nor by their disposition. They belonged to different sections, and lived in separate barracks. The little convict was named Bulkin.
Vermaloff smiled when he saw me seated by the stove. He stopped at some distance from me, reflected for a moment, tottered, and then came towards me with an affected swagger. Then he swept the strings of his instrument, and sung, or recited, tapping at the same time with his boot on the ground, the following chant:
My darling!
With her full, fair face,
Sings like a nightingale;
In her satin dress,
With its brilliant trimming,
She is very fair.
This song excited Bulkin in an extraordinary manner. He agitated his arms, and shrieked out to every one: “He lies, my friends; he lies like a quack doctor. There is not a shadow of truth in what he sings.”
“My respects to the venerable Alexander Petrovitch,” said Vermaloff, looking at me with a knowing smile. I fancied even he wished to embrace me. He was drunk. As for the expression, “My respects to the venerable so-and-so,” it is employed by the common people throughout Siberia, even when addressed to a young man of twenty. To call a man old is a sign of respect, and may amount even to flattery.
“Well, Vermaloff, how are you?” I replied.
“So, so. Nothing to boast of. Those who really enjoy the holiday have been drinking since early morning.”
Vermaloff did not speak very distinctly.
“He lies; he lies again,” said Bulkin, striking the camp-bedsteads with a sort of despair.
One might have sworn that Vermaloff had given his word of honour not to pay any attention to him. That was really the most comic thing about it; for Bulkin had not quitted him for one moment since the morning. Always with him, he quarrelled with Vermaloff about every word; wringing his hands, and striking with his fists against the wall and the camp bedsteads till he made them bleed, he suffered visibly from his conviction that Vermaloff “lied like a quack doctor.” If Bulkin had had hair on his head, he would certainly have torn it in his grief, in his profound mortification. One might have thought that he had made himself responsible for Vermaloff’s actions, and that all Vermaloff’s faults troubled his conscience. The amusing part of it was that Vermaloff continued.
“He lies! He lies! He lies!” cried Bulkin.
“What can it matter to you?” replied the convicts, with a laugh.
“I must tell you, Alexander Petrovitch, that I was very good-looking when I was a young man, and the young girls were very fond of me,” said Vermaloff suddenly.
“He lies! He lies!” again interrupted Bulkin, with a groan. The convicts burst into a laugh.
“And well I got myself up to please them. I had a red shirt, and broad trousers of cotton velvet. I was happy in those days. I got up when I liked; did whatever I pleased. In fact——”
“He lies,” declared Bulkin.
“I inherited from my father a stone house, two storeys high. Within two years I made away with the two storeys; nothing remained to me but the street door. Well, what of that. Money comes and goes like a bird.”
“He lies!” declared Bulkin, more resolutely than before.
“Then when I had spent all, I sent a letter to my relations, that they might send me some money. They said that I had set their will at naught, that I was disrespectful. It is now seven years since I sent off my letter.”
“And any answer?” I asked, with a smile.
“No,” he replied, also laughing, and almost putting his nose in my face.
He then informed me that he had a sweetheart.
“You a sweetheart?”
“Onufriel said to me the other day: ‘My young woman is marked with small-pox, and as ugly as you like; but she has plenty of dresses, while yours, though she may be pretty, is a beggar.’”
“Is that true?”
“Certainly, she is a beggar,” he answered.
He burst into a laugh, and the others laughed with him. Every one indeed knew that he had a liaison with a beggar woman, to whom he gave ten kopecks every six months.
“Well, what do you want with me?” I said to him, wishing at last to get rid of him.
He remained silent, and then, looking at me in the most insinuating manner, said:
“Could not you let me have enough money to buy half-a-pint? I have drunk nothing but tea the whole day,” he added, as he took from me the money I offered him; “and tea affects me in such a manner that I am afraid of becoming asthmatic. It gives me the wind.”
When he took the money I offered him, the despair of Bulkin went beyond all bounds. He gesticulated like a man possessed.
“Good people all,” he cried, “the man lies. Everything he says—everything is a lie.”
“What can it matter to you?” cried the convicts, astonished at his goings on. “You are possessed.”
“I will not allow him to lie,” continued Bulkin, rolling his eyes, and striking his fist with energy on the boards. “He shall not lie.”
Every one laughed. Vermaloff bowed to me after receiving the money, and hastened, with many grimaces, to go to the drink-seller. Then only he noticed Bulkin.
“Come!” he said to him, as if the latter were indispensable for the execution of some design. “Idiot!” he added, with contempt, as Bulkin passed before him.
But enough about this tumultuous scene, which, at last, came to an end. The convicts went to sleep heavily on their camp-bedsteads. They spoke and raged during their sleep more than on the other nights. Here and there they still continued to play at cards. The festival looked forward to with such impatience was now over, and to-morrow the daily work, the hard labour, will begin again.

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CHAPTER XII. THE PERFORMANCE.

On the evening of the third day of the holidays took place our first theatrical performance. There had been much trouble about organising it. But those who were to act had taken everything upon themselves, and the other convicts knew nothing about the representation except that it was to take place. We did not even know what was to be played. The actors, while they were at work, were always thinking how they could get together the greatest number of costumes. Whenever I met Baklouchin he snapped his fingers with satisfaction, but told me nothing. I think the Major was in a good humour; but we did not know for certain whether he knew what was going on or not, whether he had authorised it, or whether he had determined to shut his eyes and be silent, after assuring himself that everything would take place quietly. He had heard, I fancy, of the meditated representation, and said nothing about it, lest he should spoil everything. The soldiers would be disorderly, or would get drunk, unless they had something to divert them. Thus I think the Major must have reasoned, for it will be only natural to do so. I may add that if the convicts had not got up a performance during the holidays, or done something of the kind, the administration would have been obliged to organise some sort of amusement; but as our Major was distinguished by ideas directly opposed to those of other people, I take a great responsibility on myself in saying that he knew of our project and authorised it. A man like him must always be crushing and stifling some one, taking something away, depriving some one of a right—in a word, for establishing order of this character he was known throughout the town.
It mattered nothing to him that his exactions made the men rebellious. For such offences there were suitable punishments (there are some people who reason in this way), and with these rascals of convicts there was nothing to do but to treat them very severely, deal with them strictly according to law. These incapable executants of the law did not in the least understand that to apply the law without understanding its spirit is to provoke resistance. They are quite astonished that, in addition to the execution of the law, good sense and a sound head should be expected from them. The last condition would appear to them quite superfluous; to require such a thing is vexatious, intolerant.
However this may be, the Sergeant-Major made no objection to the performance, and that was all the convicts wanted. I may say in all truth that if throughout the holidays there were no disorders in the convict prison, no sanguinary quarrels, no robberies, that must be attributed to the convicts being permitted to organise their performance. I saw with my own eyes how they got out of the way of those of their companions who had drunk too much, and how they prevented quarrels on the ground that the representation would be forbidden. The non-commissioned officer made the prisoners give their word of honour that they would behave well, and that all would go off quietly. They gave it with pleasure, and kept their promise religiously. They were much flattered at finding their word of honour accepted. Let me add that the representation cost nothing, absolutely nothing, to the authorities, who were not called upon to spend a farthing. The theatre could be put up and taken down within a quarter of an hour; and, in case an order stopping the performance suddenly arrived, the scenery could have been put away in a second. The costumes were concealed in the convicts’ boxes; but first of all let me say how our theatre was constructed, what were the costumes, and what the bill, that is to say, the pieces that were to be played. To tell the truth, there was no written playbill, not, at least, for the first representation. It was ready only for the second and third. Baklouchin composed it for the officers and other distinguished visitors who might deign to honour the performance with their presence, including the officer of the guard, the officer of the watch, and an Engineer officer. It was in honour of these that the playbill was written out.
It was supposed that the reputation of our theatre would extend to the fortress, and even to the town, especially as there was no theatre at N——: a few amateur performances, but nothing more. The convicts delighted in the smallest success, and boasted of it like children.
“Who knows?” they said to one another; “when our chiefs hear of it they will perhaps come and see. Then they will know what convicts are worth, for this is not a performance given by soldiers, but a genuine piece played by genuine actors; nothing like it could be seen anywhere in the town. General Abrosimoff had a representation at his house, and it is said he will have another. Well, they may beat us in the matter of costumes, but as for the dialogue that is a very different thing. The Governor himself will perhaps hear of it, and—who knows?—he may come himself.”
They had no theatre in the town. In a word, the imagination of the convicts, above all after their first success, went so far as to make them think that rewards would be distributed to them, and that their period of hard labour would be shortened. A moment afterwards they were the first to laugh at this fancy. In a word, they were children, true children, when they were forty years of age. I knew in a general way the subjects of the pieces that were to be represented, although there was no bill. The title of the first was Philatka and Miroshka Rivals. Baklouchin boasted to me, at least a week before the performance, that the part of Philatka, which he had assigned to himself, would be played in such a manner that nothing like it had ever been seen, even on the St. Petersburg stage. He walked about in the barracks puffed up with boundless importance. If now and then he declaimed a speech from his part in the theatrical style, every one burst out laughing, whether the speech was amusing or not; they laughed because he had forgotten himself. It must be admitted that the convicts, as a body, were self-contained and full of dignity; the only ones who got enthusiastic at Baklouchin’s tirades were the young ones, who had no false shame, or those who were much looked up to, and whose authority was so firmly established that they were not afraid to commit themselves. The others listened silently, without blaming or contradicting, but they did their best to show that the performance left them indifferent.
It was not until the very last moment, the very day of the representation, that every one manifested genuine interest in what our companions had undertaken. “What,” was the general question, “would the Major say? Would the performance succeed as well as the one given two years before?” etc., etc. Baklouchin assured me that all the actors would be quite at home on the stage, and that there would even be a curtain. Sirotkin was to play a woman’s part. “You will see how well I look in women’s clothes,” he said. The Lady Bountiful was to have a dress with skirts and trimmings, besides a parasol; while her husband, the Lord of the Manor, was to wear an officer’s uniform, with epaulettes, and a cane in his hand.
The second piece that was to be played was entitled, Kedril, the Glutton. The title puzzled me much, but it was useless to ask any questions about it. I could only learn that the piece was not printed; it was a manuscript copy obtained from a retired non-commissioned officer in the town, who had doubtless formerly participated in its representation on some military stage. We have, indeed, in the distant towns and governments, a number of pieces of this kind, which, I believe, are perfectly unknown and have never been printed, but which appear to have grown up of themselves, in connection with the popular theatre, in certain zones of Russia. I have spoken of the popular theatre. It would be a good thing if our investigators of popular literature would take the trouble to make careful researches as to this popular theatre which exists, and which, perhaps, is not so insignificant as may be thought.
I cannot think that everything I saw on the stage of our convict prison was the work of our convicts. It must have sprung from old traditions handed down from generation to generation, and preserved among the soldiers, the workmen in industrial towns, and even the shopkeepers in some poor, out-of-the-way places. These traditions have been preserved in some villages and some Government towns by the servants of the large landed proprietors. I even believe that copies of many old pieces have been multiplied by these servants of the nobility.
The old Muscovite proprietors and nobles had their own theatres, in which their servants used to play. Thence comes our popular theatre, the originals of which are beyond discussion. As for Kedril, the Glutton, in spite of my lively curiosity, I could learn nothing about it, except that demons appeared on the stage and carried Kedril away to hell. What did the name of Kedril signify? Why was he called Kedril and not Cyril? Was the name Russian or foreign? I could not resolve this question.
It was announced that the representation would terminate with a musical pantomime. All this promised to be very curious. The actors were fifteen in number, all vivacious men. They were very energetic, got up a number of rehearsals which sometimes took place behind the barracks, kept away from the others, and gave themselves mysterious airs. They evidently wished to surprise us with something extraordinary and unexpected.
On work days the barracks were shut very early as night approached, but an exception was made during the Christmas holidays, when the padlocks were not put to the gates until the evening retreat—nine o’clock. This favour had been granted specially in view of the play. During the whole duration of the holidays a deputation was sent every evening to the officer of the guard very humbly “to permit the representation and not to shut at the usual hour.” It was added that there had been previous representations, and that nothing disorderly had occurred at any of them.
The officer of the guard must have reasoned as follows: There was no disorder, no infraction of discipline at the previous performance, and the moment they give their word that to-night’s performance shall take place in the same manner, they mean to be their own police—the most rigorous police of all. Moreover, he knew well that if he took it upon himself to forbid the representation, these fellows (who knows, and with convicts?) would have committed some offence which would have placed the officer of the guard in a very difficult position. One final reason insured his consent: To mount guard is horribly tiresome, and if he authorised the performance he would see the play acted, not by soldiers, but by convicts, a curious set of people. It would certainly be interesting, and he had a right to be present at it.
In case the superior officer arrived and asked for the officer of the guard, he would be told that the latter had gone to count the convicts and close the barracks; an answer which could easily be made, and which could not be disproved. That is why our superintendents authorised the performance; and throughout the holidays the barracks were kept open each evening until the retreat. The convicts had known beforehand that they would meet with no opposition from the officer of the guard. They were quite quiet about him.
Towards six o’clock Petroff came to look for me, and we went together to the theatre. Nearly all the prisoners of our barracks were there, with the exception of the “old believer” from Tchernigoff, and the Poles. The latter did not decide to be present until the last day of the representation, the 4th of January, after they had been assured that everything would be managed in a becoming manner. The haughtiness of the Poles irritated our convicts. Accordingly they were received on the 4th of January with formal politeness, and conducted to the best places. As for the Circassians and Isaiah Fomitch, the play was for them a genuine delight. Isaiah Fomitch gave three kopecks each time, except the last, when he placed ten kopecks on the plate; and how happy he looked!
The actors had decided that each spectator should give what he thought fit. The receipts were to cover the expenses, and anything beyond was to go to the actors. Petroff assured me that I should be allowed to have one of the best places, however full the theatre might be; first, because being richer than the others, there was a probability of my giving more; and, secondly, because I knew more about acting than any one else. What he had foreseen took place. But let me first describe the theatre.
The barrack of the military section, which had been turned into the theatre, was fifteen feet long. From the court-yard one entered, first an ante-chamber, and afterwards the barrack itself. The building was arranged, as I have already mentioned, in a particular manner, the beds being placed against the wall, so as to leave an open space in the middle. One half of the barrack was reserved for the spectators, while the other, which communicated with the second building, formed the stage. What astonished me directly I entered, was the curtain, which was about ten feet long, and divided the barrack into two. It was indeed a marvel, for it was painted in oil, and represented trees, tunnels, ponds, and stars.
It was made of pieces of linen, old and new, given by the convicts; shirts, the bandages which our peasants wrap round their feet in lieu of socks, all sewn together well or ill, and forming together an immense sheet. Where there was not enough linen, it had been replaced by writing paper, taken sheet by sheet from the various office bureaus. Our painters (among whom we had our Bruloff) had painted it all over, and the effect was very remarkable.
This luxurious curtain delighted the convicts, even the most sombre and most morose. These, however, like the others, as soon as the play began, showed themselves mere children. They were all pleased and satisfied with a certain satisfaction of vanity. The theatre was lighted with candle ends. Two benches, which had been brought from the kitchen, were placed before the curtain, together with three or four large chairs, borrowed from the non-commissioned officers’ room. These chairs were for the officers, should they think fit to honour the performance. As for the benches, they were for the non-commissioned officers, engineers, clerks, directors of the works, and all the immediate superiors of the convicts who had not officer’s rank, and who had come perhaps to take a look at the representation. In fact, there was no lack of visitors. According to the days, they came in greater or smaller numbers, while for the last representation there was not a single place unoccupied on the benches.
At the back the convicts stood crowded together; standing up out of respect to the visitors, and dressed in their vests, or in their short pelisses, in spite of the suffocating heat. As might have been expected, the place was too small; so all the prisoners stood up, heaped together—above all in the last rows. The camp-bedsteads were all occupied; and there were some amateurs who disputed constantly behind the stage in the other barrack, and who viewed the performance from the back. I was asked to go forward, and Petroff with me, close to the benches, whence a good view could be obtained. They looked upon me as a good judge, a connoisseur, who had seen many other theatres. The convicts remarked that Baklouchin had often consulted me, and that he had shown deference to my advice. Consequently they thought that I ought to be treated with honour, and to have one of the best places. These men are vain and frivolous, but only on the surface. They laughed at me when I was at work, because I was a poor workman. Almazoff had a right to despise us gentlemen, and to boast of his superior skill in pounding the alabaster. His laughter and raillery were directed against our origin, for we belonged by birth to the caste of his former masters, of whom he could not preserve a good recollection; but here at the theatre these same men made way for me; for they knew that about this matter I knew more than they did. Those, even, who were not at all well disposed towards me, were glad to hear me praise the performance, and gave way to me without the least servility. I judged now by my impressions of that time. I understood that in this new view of theirs there was no lowering of themselves; rather a sentiment of their own dignity.
The most striking characteristic of our people is its conscientiousness, and its love of justice; no false vanity, no sly ambition to reach the first rank without being entitled to do so; such faults are foreign to our people. Take it from its rough shell, and you will perceive, if you study it without prejudice, attentively, and close at hand, qualities which you would never have suspected. Our sages have very little to teach our people. I will even say more; they might take lessons from it.
Petroff had told me innocently, on taking me into the theatre, that they would pass me to the front, because they expected more money from me. There were no fixed prices for the places. Each one gave what he liked, and what he could. Nearly every one placed a piece of money in the plate when it was handed round. Even if they had passed me forward in the hope that I should give more than others, was there not in that a certain feeling of personal dignity?
“You are richer than I am. Go to the first row. We are all equal here, it is true; but you pay more, and the actors prefer a spectator like you. Occupy the first place then, for we are not here with money, and must arrange ourselves anyhow.”
What noble pride in this mode of action! In final analysis not love of money, but self-respect. There was little esteem for money among us. I do not remember that one of us ever lowered himself to obtain money. Some men used to make up to me, but from love of cunning and of fun rather than in the hope of obtaining any benefit. I do not know whether I explain myself clearly. I am, in any case, forgetting the performance. Let me return to it.
Before the rise of the curtain, the room presented a strange and animated look. In the first place, the crowd pressed, crushed, jammed together on all sides, but impatient, full of expectation, every face glowing with delight. In the last ranks was the grovelling, confused mass of convicts. Many of them had brought with them logs of wood, which they placed against the wall, on which they climbed up. In this fatiguing position they paused to rest themselves by placing both hands on the shoulders of their companions, who seemed quite at ease. Others stood on their toes, with their heels against the stove, and thus remained throughout the representation, supported by those around them. Massed against the camp-bedsteads was another compact crowd; for here were some of the best places of all. Five convicts had hoisted themselves up to the top of the stove, whence they had a commanding view. These fortunate ones were extremely happy. Elsewhere swarmed the late arrivals, unable to find good places.
Every one conducted himself in a becoming manner, without making any noise. Each one wished to show advantageously before the distinguished persons who were visiting us. Simple and natural was the expression of these red faces, damp with perspiration, as the rise of the curtain was eagerly expected. What a strange look of infinite delight, of unmixed pleasure, was painted on these scarred faces, these branded foreheads, so dark and menacing at ordinary times! They were all without their caps, and as I looked back at them from my place, it seemed to me that their heads were entirely shaved.
Suddenly the signal is given, and the orchestra begins to play. This orchestra deserves a special mention. It consisted of eight musicians: two violins, one of which was the property of a convict, while the other had been borrowed from outside; three balalaiki, made by the convicts themselves; two guitars, and a tambourine. The violins sighed and shrieked, and the guitars were worthless, but the balalaiki were remarkably good; and the agile fingering of the artists would have done honour to the cleverest executant.
They played scarcely anything but dance tunes. At the most exciting passages they struck with their fingers on the body of their instruments. The tone, the execution of the motive, were always original and distinctive. One of the guitarists knew his instrument thoroughly. It was the gentleman who had killed his father. As for the tambourinist, he really did wonders. Now he whirled round the disk, balanced on one of his fingers; now he rubbed the parchment with his thumb, and brought from it a countless multitude of notes, now dull, now brilliant.
At last two harmonica-players join the orchestra. I had no idea until then of all that could be done with these popular and vulgar instruments. I was astonished. The harmony, but, above all, the expression, the very conception of the motive, were admirably rendered. I then understood perfectly, and for the first time, the remarkable boldness, the striking abandonment, which are expressed in our popular dance tunes, and our village songs.
At last the curtain rose. Every one made a movement. Those who were at the back raised themselves upon the point of their feet; some one fell down from his log. At once there were looks that enjoined silence. The performance now began.
I was seated not far from Ali, who was in the midst of the group formed by his brothers and the other Circassians. They had a passionate love of the theatre, and did not miss one of our evenings. I have remarked that all the Mohammedans, Circassians, and so on, are fond of all kinds of representations. Near them was Isaiah Fomitch, quite in a state of ecstasy. As soon as the curtain rose he was all ears and eyes; his countenance expressed an expectation of something marvellous. I should have been grieved had he been disappointed. The charming face of Ali shone with a childish joy, so pure that I was quite happy to behold it. Involuntarily, whenever a general laugh echoed an amusing remark, I turned towards him to see his countenance. He did not notice it, he had something else to do.
Near him, placed on the left, was a convict, already old, sombre, discontented, and always grumbling. He also had noticed Ali, and I saw him cast furtive glances more than once towards him, so charming was the young Circassian. The prisoners always called him Ali Simeonitch, without my knowing why.
In the first piece, Philatka and Miroshka, Baklouchin, in the part of Philatka, was really marvellous. He played his rôle to perfection. It could be seen that he had weighed each speech, each movement. He managed to give to each word, each gesture, a meaning which responded perfectly to the character of the personage. Apart from the conscientious study he had made of the character, he was gay, simple, natural, irresistible. If you had seen Baklouchin you would certainly have said that he was a genuine actor, an actor by vocation, and of great talent. I have seen Philatka several times at the St. Petersburg and Moscow theatres, and I declare that none of our celebrated actors was equal to Baklouchin in this part. They were peasants, from no matter what country, and not true Russian moujiks. Moreover, their desire to be peasant-like was too apparent. Baklouchin was animated by emulation; for it was known that the convict Potsiakin was to play the part of Kedril in the second piece, and it was assumed—I do not know why—that the latter would show more talent than Baklouchin. The latter was as vexed by this preference as a child. How many times did he not come to me during the last days to tell me all he felt! Two hours before the representation he was attacked by fever. When the audience burst out laughing, and called out “Bravo, Baklouchin! what a fellow you are!” his figure shone with joy, and true inspiration could be read in his eyes. The scene of the kisses between Kiroshka and Philatka, in which the latter calls out to the daughter, “Wife, your mouth,” and then wipes his own, was wonderfully comic. Every one burst out laughing.
What interested me was the spectators. They were all at their ease, and gave themselves up frankly to their mirth. Cries of approbation became more and more numerous. A convict nudged his companion with his elbow, and hastily communicated his impressions, without even troubling himself to know who was by his side. When a comic song began, one man might be seen agitating his arms violently, as if to engage his companions to laugh; after which he turned suddenly towards the stage. A third smacked his tongue against his palate, and could not keep quiet a moment; but as there was not room for him to change his position, he hopped first on one leg, then on the other; towards the end of the piece the general gaiety attained its climax. I exaggerate nothing. Imagine the convict prison, chains, captivity, long years of confinement, of task-work, of monotonous life, falling away drop by drop like rain on an autumn day; imagine all this despair in presence of permission given to the convicts to amuse themselves, to breathe freely for an hour, to forget their nightmare, and to organise a play—and what a play! one that excited the envy and admiration of our town.
“Fancy those convicts!” people said: everything interested them, take the costumes for instance. It seemed very strange, but then to see, Nietsvitaeff, or Baklouchin, in a different costume from the one they had worn for so many years.
He is a convict, a genuine convict, whose chains ring when he walks; and there he is, out on the stage with a frock-coat, and a round hat, and a cloak, like any ordinary civilian. He has put on hair, moustaches. He takes a red handkerchief from his pocket and shakes it, like a real nobleman. What enthusiasm is created! The “good landlord” arrives in an aide-de-camp uniform, a very old one, it is true, but with epaulettes, and a cocked hat. The effect produced was indescribable. There had been two candidates for this costume, and—will it be believed?—they had quarrelled like two little schoolboys as to which of them should play the part. Both wanted to appear in military uniform with epaulettes. The other actors separated them, and, by a majority of voices, the part was entrusted to Nietsvitaeff; not because he was more suited to it than the other, and that he bore a greater resemblance to a nobleman, but only because he had assured them all that he would have a cane, and that he would twirl it and rap it out grand, like a true nobleman—a dandy of the latest fashion—which was more than Vanka and Ospiety could do, seeing they have never known any noblemen. In fact, when Nietsvitaeff went to the stage with his wife, he did nothing but draw circles on the floor with his light bamboo cane, evidently thinking that this was the sign of the best breeding, of supreme elegance. Probably in his childhood, when he was still a barefooted child, he had been attracted by the skill of some proprietor in twirling his cane, and this impression had remained in his memory, although thirty years afterwards.
Nietsvitaeff was so occupied with his process that he saw no one, he gave the replies in his dialogue without even raising his eyes. The most important thing for him was the end of his cane, and the circles he drew with it. The Lady Bountiful was also very remarkable; she came on in an old worn-out muslin dress, which looked like a rag. Her arms and neck were bare. She had a little calico cap on her head, with strings under her chin, an umbrella in one hand, and in the other a fan of coloured paper, with which she constantly fanned herself. This great lady was welcomed with a wild laugh; she herself, too, was unable to restrain herself, and burst out more than once. The part was filled by the convict Ivanoff. As for Sirotkin, in his girl’s dress, he looked exceedingly well. The couplets were all well sung. In a word, the piece was played to the satisfaction of every one; not the least hostile criticism was passed—who, indeed, was there to criticise? The air, “Sieni moi Sieni,” was played again by way of overture, and the curtain again went up.
Kedril, the Glutton, was now to be played. Kedril is a sort of Don Juan. This comparison may justly be made, for the master and the servant are both carried away by devils at the end of the piece; and the piece, as the convicts had it, was played quite correctly; but the beginning and the end must have been lost, for it had neither head nor tail. The scene is laid in an inn somewhere in Russia. The innkeeper introduces into a room a nobleman wearing a cloak and a battered round hat; the valet, Kedril, follows his master; he carries a valise, and a fowl rolled up in blue paper; he wears a short pelisse and a footman’s cap. It is this fellow who is the glutton. The convict Potsiakin, the rival of Baklouchin, played this part, while the part of the nobleman was filled by Ivanoff, the same who played the great lady in the first piece. The innkeeper (Nietsvitaeff) warns the nobleman that the room is haunted by demons, and goes away; the nobleman is interested and preoccupied; he murmurs aloud that he has known that for a long time, and orders Kedril to unpack his things and to get supper ready.
Kedril is a glutton and a coward. When he hears of devils he turns pale and trembles like a leaf; he would like to run away, but is afraid of his master; besides, he is hungry, he is voluptuous, he is sensual, stupid, though cunning in his way, and, as before said, a poltroon; he cheats his master every moment, though he fears him like fire. This type of servant is a remarkable one in which may be recognised the principal features of the character of Leporello, but indistinct and confused. The part was played in really superior style by Potsiakin, whose talent was beyond discussion, surpassing as it did in my opinion that of Baklouchin himself. But when the next day I spoke to Baklouchin I concealed my impression from him, knowing that it would give him bitter pain.
As for the convict who played the part of the nobleman, it was not bad. Everything he said was without meaning, incomparable to anything I had ever heard before; but his enunciation was pure and his gestures becoming. While Kedril occupies himself with the valise, his master walks up and down, and announces that from that day forth he means to lead a quiet life. Kedril listens, makes grimaces, and amuses the spectators by his reflections “aside.” He has no pity for his master, but he has heard of devils, would like to know what they are like, and thereupon questions him. The nobleman replies that some time ago, being in danger of death, he asked succour from hell. Then the devils aided and delivered him, but the term of his liberty has expired; and if the devils come that evening, it will be to exact his soul, as has been agreed in their compact. Kedril begins to tremble in earnest, but his master does not lose courage, and orders him to prepare the supper. Hearing of victuals, Kedril revives. Taking out a bottle of wine, he taps it on his own account. The audience expands with laughter; but the door grates on its hinges, the winds shakes the shutters, Kedril trembles, and hastily, almost without knowing what he is doing, puts into his mouth an enormous piece of fowl, which he is unable to swallow. There is another gust of wind.
“Is it ready?” cries the master, still walking backwards and forwards in his room.
“Directly, sir. I am preparing it,” says Kedril, who sits down, and, taking care that his master does not see him, begins to eat the supper himself. The audience is evidently charmed with the cunning of the servant, who so cleverly makes game of the nobleman; and it must be admitted that Poseikin, the representative of the part, deserved high praise. He pronounced admirably the words: “Directly, sir. I—am—preparing—it.”
Kedril eats gradually, and at each mouthful trembles lest his master shall see him. Every time that the nobleman turns round Kedril hides under the table, holding the fowl in his hand. When he has appeased his hunger, he begins to think of his master.
“Kedril, will it soon be ready?” cries the nobleman.
“It is ready now,” replies Kedril boldly, when all at once he perceives that there is scarcely anything left. Nothing remains but one leg. The master, still sombre and pre-occupied, notices nothing, and takes his seat, while Kedril places himself behind him with a napkin on his arm. Every word, every gesture, every grimace from the servant, as he turns towards the audience to laugh at his master’s expense, excites the greatest mirth among the convicts. Just at the moment when the young nobleman begins to eat, the devils arrive. They resemble nothing human or terrestrial. The side-door opens, and the phantom appears dressed entirely in white, with a lighted lantern in lieu of a head, and with a scythe in its hand. Why the white dress, scythe, and lantern? No one could tell me, and the matter did not trouble the convicts. They were sure that this was the way it ought to be done. The master comes forward courageously to meet the apparitions, and calls out to them that he is ready, and that they can take him. But Kedril, as timid as a hare, hides under the table, not forgetting, in spite of his fright, to take a bottle with him. The devils disappear, Kedril comes out of his hiding-place, and the master begins to eat his fowl. Three devils enter the room, and seize him to take him to hell.
“Save me, Kedril,” he cries. But Kedril has something else to think of. He has now with him in his hiding-place not only the bottle, but also the plate of fowl and the bread. He is now alone. The demons are far away, and his master also. Kedril gets from under the table, looks all round, and suddenly his face beams with joy. He winks, like the rogue he is, sits down in his master’s place, and whispers to the audience: “I have now no master but myself.”
Every one laughs at seeing him masterless; and he says, always in an under-tone and with a confidential air: “The devils have carried him off!”
The enthusiasm of the spectators is now without limits. The last phrase was uttered with such roguery, with such a triumphant grimace, that it was impossible not to applaud. But Kedril’s happiness does not last long. Hardly has he taken up the bottle of wine, and poured himself out a large glass, which he carries to his lips, than the devils return, slip behind, and seize him. Kedril howls like one possessed, but he dare not turn round. He wishes to defend himself, but cannot, for in his hands he holds the bottle and the glass, from which he will not separate. His eyes starting from his head, his mouth gaping with horror, he remains for a moment looking at the audience with a comic expression of cowardice that might have been painted. At last he is dragged, carried away. His arms and legs are agitated in every direction, but he still sticks to his bottle. He also shrieks, and his cries are still heard when he has been carried from the stage.
The curtain falls amid general laughter, and everyone is delighted. The orchestra now attacks the famous dance tune Kamarinskaia. First it is played softly, pianissimo; but little by little, the motive is developed and played more lightly. The time is quickened, and the wood, as well as the strings of the balalaiki, is made to sound. The musicians enter thoroughly into the spirit of the dance. Glinka (who has arranged the Kamarinskaia in the most ingenious manner, and with harmonies of his own devising, for full orchestra) should have heard it as it was executed in our Convict Prison.
The pantomimic musical accompaniment is begun; and throughout the Kamarinskaia is played. The stage represents the interior of a hut. A miller and his wife are sitting down, one mending clothes, the other spinning flax. Sirotkin plays the part of the wife, and Nietsvitaeff that of the husband. Our scenery was very poor. In this piece, as in the preceding ones, imagination had to supply what was wanting in reality. Instead of a wall at the back of the stage, there was a carpet or a blanket; on the right, shabby screens; while on the left, where the stage was not closed, the camp-bedsteads could be seen; but the spectators were not exacting, and were willing to imagine all that was wanting. It was an easy task for them; all convicts are great dreamers. Directly they are told “this is a garden,” it is for them a garden. Informed that “this is a hut,” they accept the definition without difficulty. To them it is a hut. Sirotkin was charming in a woman’s dress. The miller finishes his work, takes his cap and his whip, goes up to his wife, and gives her to understand by signs, that if during his absence she makes the mistake of receiving any one, she will have to deal with him—and he shows her his whip. The wife listens, and nods affirmatively her head. The whip is evidently known to her; the hussey has often deserved it. The husband goes out. Hardly has he turned upon his heel, than his wife shakes her fist at him. There is a knock; the door opens, and in comes a neighbour, miller also by trade. He wears a beard, is in a kaftan, and he brings as a present a red handkerchief. The woman smiles. Another knock is heard at the door. Where shall she hide him? She conceals him under the table, and takes up her distaff again. Another admirer now presents himself—a farrier in the uniform of a non-commissioned officer.
Until now the pantomime had gone on capitally; the gestures of the actors being irreproachable. It was astounding to see these improvised players going through their parts in so correct a manner; and involuntarily one said to oneself:
“What a deal of talent is lost in our Russia, left without use in our prisons and places of exile!”
The convict who played the part of the farrier had, doubtless, taken part in a performance at some provincial theatre, or had played with amateurs. It seemed to me, in any case, that our actors knew nothing of acting as an art, and bore themselves in the meanest manner. When it was his turn to appear, he came on like one of the classical heroes of the old repertory—taking a long stride with one foot before he raised the other from the ground, throwing back his head on the upper part of his body and casting proud looks around him. If such a gait was ridiculous on the part of classical heroes, still more so was it when the actor was representing a comic character. But the audience thought it quite natural, and accepted the actor’s triumphant walk as a necessary fact, without criticising it.
A moment after the entry of the second admirer there is another knock at the door. The wife loses her head. Where is the farrier to be concealed? In her big box. It fortunately is open. The farrier disappears within it and the lid falls upon him.
The new arrival is a Brahmin, in full costume. His entry is hailed by the spectators with a formidable laugh. This Brahmin is represented by the convict Cutchin, who plays the part perfectly, thanks, in a great measure, to a suitable physiognomy. He explains in the pantomime his love of the miller’s wife, raises his hands to heaven, and then clasps them on his breast.
There is now another knock at the door—a vigorous one this time. There could be no mistake about it. It is the master of the house. The miller’s wife loses her head; the Brahmin runs wildly on all sides, begging to be concealed. She helps him to slip behind the cupboard, and begins to spin, and goes on spinning without thinking of opening the door. In her fright she gets the thread twisted, drops the spindle, and, in her agitation, makes the gesture of turning it when it is lying on the ground. Sirotkin represented perfectly this state of alarm.
Then the miller kicks open the door and approaches his wife, whip in hand. He has seen everything, for he was spying outside; and he indicates by signs to his wife that she has three lovers concealed in the house. Then he searches them out.
First, he finds the neighbour, whom he drives out with his fist. The frightened farrier tries to escape. He raises, with his head, the cover of the chest, and is at once seen. The miller thrashes him with his whip, and for once this gallant does not march in the classical style.
The only one now remaining is the Brahmin, whom the husband seeks for some time without finding him. At last he discovers him in his corner behind the cupboard, bows to him politely, and then draws him by his beard into the middle of the stage. The Brahmin tries to defend himself, and cries out, “Accursed, accursed!”—the only words pronounced throughout the pantomime. But the husband will not listen to him, and, after settling accounts with him, turns to his wife. Seeing that her turn has come, she throws away both wheel and spindle, and runs out, causing an earthen pot to fall as she shakes the room in her fright. The convicts burst into a laugh, and Ali, without looking at me, takes my hand, and calls out, “See, see the Brahmin!” He cannot hold himself upright, so overpowering is his laugh. The curtain falls, and another song begins.
There were two or three more, all broadly humorous and very droll. The convicts had not composed them themselves, but they had contributed something to them. Every actor improvised to such purpose that the part was a different one each evening. The pantomime ended with a ballet, in which there was a burial. The Brahmin went through various incantations over the corpse, and with effect. The dead man returns to life, and, in their joy, all present begin to dance. The Brahmin dances in Brahminical style with the dead man. This was the final scene. The convicts now separated, happy, delighted, and full of praise for the actors and gratitude towards the non-commissioned officers. There was not the least quarrel, and they all went to bed with peaceful hearts, to sleep with a sleep by no means familiar to them.
This is no fantasy of my imagination, but the truth, the very truth. These unhappy men had been permitted to live for some moments in their own way, to amuse themselves in a human manner, to escape for a brief hour from their sad position as convicts; and a moral change was effected, at least for a time.
The night is already quite dark. Something makes me shudder, and I awake. The “old believer” is still on the top of the high porcelain stove praying, and he will continue to pray until dawn. Ali is sleeping peacefully by my side. I remember that when he went to bed he was still laughing and talking about the theatre with his brothers. Little by little I began to remember everything; the preceding day, the Christmas holidays, and the whole month. I raised my head in fright and looked at my companions, who were sleeping by the trembling light of the candle provided by the authorities. I look at their unhappy countenances, their miserable beds; I view this nakedness, the wretchedness, and then convince myself that it is not a frightful night there, but a simple reality. Yes, it is a reality. I hear a groan. Some one has moved his arm and made his chains rattle. Another one is agitated in his dreams and speaks aloud, while the old grandfather is praying for the “Orthodox Christians.” I listened to his prayer, uttered with regularity, in soft, rather drawling tones: “Lord Jesus Christ have mercy upon us.”
“Well, I am not here for ever, but only for a few years,” I said to myself, and I again laid my head down on my pillow.

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PART II.

CHAPTER I. THE HOSPITAL

Shortly after the Christmas holidays I felt ill, and had to go to our military hospital, which stood apart at about half a verst (one-third of a mile) from the fortress. It was a one-storey building, very long, and painted yellow. Every summer a great quantity of ochre was expended in brightening it up. In the immense court-yard stood buildings, including those where the chief physicians lived, while the principal building contained only wards intended for the patients. There were a good many of them, but as only two were reserved for the convicts, these latter were nearly always full, above all in summer, so that it was often necessary to bring the beds closer together. These wards were occupied by “unfortunates” of all kinds: first by our own, then by military prisoners, previously incarcerated in the guard-houses. There were others, again, who had not yet been tried, or who were passing through. In this hospital, too, were invalids from the Disciplinary Company, a melancholy institution for bringing together soldiers of bad conduct, with a view to their correction. At the end of a year or two, they come back the most thorough-going rascals that the earth can endure.
When a convict felt that he was ill, he told the non-commissioned officer, who wrote the man’s name down on a card, which he then gave to him and sent him to the hospital under the escort of a soldier. On his arrival he was examined by a doctor, who authorised the convict to remain at the hospital if he was really ill. My name was duly written down, and towards one o’clock, when all my companions had started for their afternoon work, I went to the hospital. Every prisoner took with him such money and bread as he could (for food was not to be expected the first day), a little pipe, and pouch containing tobacco, with flint, steel, and match-paper. The convicts concealed these objects in their boots. On entering the hospital I experienced a feeling of curiosity, for a new aspect of life was now presented.
The day was hot, cloudy, sad—one of those days when places like a hospital assume a particularly disagreeable and repulsive look. Myself and the soldier escorting me went into the entrance room, where there were two copper baths. There were two convicts waiting there with their warders. An assistant surgeon came in, looked at us with a careless and patronising air, and went away still more carelessly to announce our arrival to the physician on duty. Soon the physician arrived. He examined me, treating me in a very affable manner, and gave me a paper on which my name was inscribed. The ordinary physician of the wards reserved for the convicts was to make the diagnosis of my illness, to prescribe the fitting remedies, together with the necessary diet. I had already heard the convicts say that their doctors could not be too much praised. “They are fathers to us,” they would say.
I took my clothes off to put on another costume. Our clothes and linen were taken away, and we were given hospital linen instead, to which were added long stockings, slippers, cotton nightcaps, and a dressing-gown of a very thick brown cloth, which was lined, not with linen, but with filth. The dressing-gown was indeed very filthy, but I soon understood its utility. We were afterwards taken to the convict wards, which were at the head of a long corridor, very high, and very clean. The external cleanliness was quite satisfactory. Everything that could be seen shone; so, at least, it seemed to me, after the dirtiness of the convict prison.
The two prisoners, whom I had found in the entrance hall, went to the left of the corridor, while I entered a room. Before the padlocked door walked a sentinel, musket on shoulder; and not far off was the soldier who was to replace him. The sergeant of the hospital guard ordered him to let me pass, and suddenly I found myself in the middle of a long narrow room, with beds to the number of twenty-two arranged against the walls. Three or four of them were still unoccupied. These wooden beds were painted green, and, as is notoriously the case with all hospital beds in Russia, were doubtless inhabited by bugs. I went into a corner by the side of the windows. There were very few prisoners dangerously ill and confined to their beds.
The inmates of the hospital were, for the most part, convalescents, or men who were slightly indisposed. My new companions were stretched out on their couches, or walking about up and down between the rows of beds. There was just space enough for them to come and go. The atmosphere of the ward was stifling with the odour peculiar to hospitals. It was composed of various emanations, each more disagreeable than the other, and of the smell of drugs; though the stove was kept well heated all day long, my bed was covered with a counterpane, which I took off. The bed itself consisted of a cloth blanket lined with linen, and coarse sheets of more than doubtful cleanliness. By the side of the bed was a little table with a pitcher and a pewter mug, together with a diminutive napkin, which had been given to me. The table could, moreover, hold a tea-urn for those patients who were rich enough to drink tea. These men of means, however, were not very numerous. The pipes and the tobacco pouches—for all the patients smoked, even the consumptive ones—could be concealed beneath the mattress. The doctors and the other officials scarcely ever made searches, and when they surprised a patient with a pipe in his mouth, they pretended not to see. The patients, however, were very prudent, and smoked always at the back of the stove. They never smoked in their beds except at night, when no rounds were made by the officers commanding the hospital.
Until then I had not been in any hospital in the character of patient, so that everything was quite new to me. I noticed that my entry had mystified some of the prisoners. They had heard of me, and all the inmates now looked upon me with that slight shade of superiority which recognised members of no matter what society show to one newly admitted among them. On my right was lying down a man committed for trial—an ex-secretary and the illegitimate son of a retired captain—accused of having made false money. He had been in the hospital nearly a year. He was not in the least ill, but he assured the doctors that he had an aneurism, and he so thoroughly convinced them that he escaped both the hard labour and the corporal punishment to which he had been sentenced. He was sent a year later to T——k, where he was attached to an asylum. He was a vigorous young fellow of eight-and-twenty, cunning, a self-confessed rogue, and something of a lawyer. He was intelligent, had easy manners, but was very presumptuous, and suffered from morbid self-esteem. Convinced that there was no one in the world a bit more honest or more just than himself, he did not consider himself at all guilty, and never kept this assurance to himself.
This personage was the first to address me, and he questioned me with much curiosity. He initiated me into the ways of the hospital; and, of course, began by telling me that he was the son of a captain. He was very anxious that I should take him for a noble, or at least, for some one connected with the nobility.
Soon afterwards an invalid from the Disciplinary Company came and told me that he knew a great many nobles who had been exiled; and, to convince me, he repeated to me their christian names and their patronymics. It was only necessary to see the face of this soldier to understand that he was lying abominably. He was named Tchekounoff, and came to pay court to me, because he suspected me of having money. When he saw a packet of tea and sugar, he at once offered me his services to make the water boil and to get me a tea-urn. M. D. S. K—— had promised to send me my own by one of the prisoners who worked in the hospital, but Tchekounoff arranged to get me one forthwith. He got me a tin vessel, in which he made the water boil; and, in a word, he showed such extraordinary zeal, that it drew down upon him bitter laughter from one of the patients, a consumptive man, whose bed was just opposite mine, Usteantseff by name. This was the soldier condemned to the rods, who, from fear, had swallowed a bottle of vodka, in which he had infused tobacco, this bringing on lung disease.
I have spoken of him above. He had remained silent until now, stretched out on his bed, and breathing with difficulty. He looked at me all the time with a very serious air. He did not take his eyes from Tchekounoff, whose civility irritated him. His extraordinary gravity rendered his indignation comic. At last he could stand it no longer.
“Look at this fellow! He has found his master,” he said, stammering out the words with a voice strangled by weakness, for he had now not long to live.
Tchekounoff, much annoyed, turned round.
“Who is the fellow?” he asked, looking at Usteantseff, with contempt.
“Why, you are a flunkey,” replied Usteantseff, as confidently as if he had possessed the right of calling Tchekounoff to order.
“I a fellow?”
“Yes, you are a flunkey; a true flunkey. Listen, my good friends. He won’t believe me. He is quite astonished, the brave fellow.”
“What can that matter to you? You see when they don’t know how to make use of their hands that they are not accustomed to be without servants. Why should I not serve him, buffoon with a hairy snout?”
“Who has a hairy snout?”
“You!”
“I have a hairy snout?”
“Yes; certainly you have.”
“You are a nice fellow, you are. If I have a hairy snout, you have a face like a crow’s egg.”
“Hairy snout! The merciful Lord has settled your account. You would do much better to keep quiet and die.”
“Why? I would rather prostrate myself before a boot than before a slipper. My father never prostrated himself, and never made me do so.”
He would have continued, but an attack of coughing convulsed him for some minutes. He spat blood, and a cold sweat broke out on his low forehead. If his cough had not prevented him from speaking, he would have continued to declaim. One could see that from his look; but in his powerlessness he could only move his hand, the result of which was that Tchekounoff spoke no more about the matter.
I quite understood that the consumptive patient hated me much more than Tchekounoff. No one would have thought of being angry with him or of looking down upon him by reason of the services he was rendering me, and the few kopecks that he tried to get from me. Every one understood that he did it all in order to get himself a little money.
The Russian people are not at all susceptible on such points, and know perfectly well how to take them.
I had displeased Usteantseff, as my tea had also displeased him. What irritated him was that, in spite of all, I was a gentleman, even with my chains; that I could not do without a servant, though I neither asked for nor desired one. In reality I tried to do everything for myself, in order not to appear a white-handed, effeminate person, and not to play the part which excited so much envy.
I even felt a little pride on this point; but, in spite of every thing—I do not know why—I was always surrounded by officious, complaisant people, who attached themselves to me of their own free will, and who ended by governing me. It was I rather who was their servant; so that, whether I liked it or not, I was made to appear to every one a noble, who could not do without the services of others, and who gave himself airs. This exasperated me.
Usteantseff was consumptive, and, therefore, irascible. The other patients only showed me indifference, tinged with a shade of contempt. They were occupied with a circumstance which now presents itself to my memory.
I learned, as I listened to their conversation, that there was to be brought into the hospital that evening a convict who, at that moment, was receiving the rods. The prisoners were looking forward to this new arrival with some curiosity. They said, however, that his punishment was but slight—only five hundred strokes.
I looked round. The greater number of genuine patients were, as far as I could observe, affected by scurvy and diseases of the eyes—both peculiar to this country. The others suffered from fever, lung disease, and other illnesses. The different illnesses were not separated; all the patients were together in the same room.
I have spoken of genuine patients, for certain convicts had come in merely to get a little rest. The doctors admitted them from pure compassion, above all, if there were any vacant beds. Life in the guard-house and in the prison was so hard compared with that of the hospital, that many persons preferred to remain lying down in spite of the stifling atmosphere and the rules against leaving the room.
There were even men who took pleasure in this kind of life. They belonged nearly all to the Disciplinary Company. I examined my new companions with curiosity. One of them puzzled me very much. He was consumptive, and was dying. His bed was a little further on than that of Usteantseff, and was nearly beside mine. He was named Mikhailoff. I had seen him in the Convict Prison two weeks before, when he was already seriously ill. He ought to have been under treatment long before, but he bore up against his malady with surprising courage. He did not go to the hospital until about the Christmas holidays, to die three weeks afterwards of galloping consumption. He seemed to have burned out like a candle. What astonished me most was the terrible change in his countenance. I had noticed him the very first day of my imprisonment. By his side was lying a soldier of the Disciplinary Company—an old man with a bad expression on his face, whose general appearance was disgusting.
But I am not going to enumerate all the patients. I just remember this old man simply because he made an impression on me, and initiated me at once into certain peculiarities of the ward. He had a severe cold in the head, which made him sneeze at every moment, even during his sleep, as if firing salutes, five or six times running, while each time he called out, “My God, what torture!”
Seated on his bed he stuffed his nose eagerly with snuff, which he took from a paper bag, in order to sneeze more strongly, and with greater regularity. He sneezed into a checked cotton pocket-handkerchief which belonged to him, and which had lost its colour through perpetual washing. His little nose then became wrinkled in a most peculiar manner with a multitude of wrinkles, and his open mouth exhibited broken teeth, decayed and black, and red gums moist with saliva. When he sneezed into his handkerchief he unfolded it and wiped it on the lining of his dressing-gown. His proceedings disgusted me so much that involuntarily I examined the dressing-gown I had just put on myself. It exhaled a most offensive odour, which contact with my body helped to bring out. It smelt of plasters and medicaments of all kinds. It seemed as though it had been worn by patients from time immemorial. The lining had, perhaps, been washed once, but I would not swear to it. Certainly, at the time I put it on, it was saturated with lotions, and stained by contact with poultices and plasters of all imaginable kinds.
The men condemned to the rods, having undergone their punishment, were brought straight to the hospital, their backs still bleeding. As compresses and as poultices were placed on their wounds, the dressing-gown they wore over their wet shirt received and retained the droppings.
During all the time of my hard labour I had to go to the hospital, which often happened, I always put on, with mistrust and abhorrence, the dressing-gown that was delivered to me. As soon as Tchekounoff had given me my tea (I will say, in parenthesis, that the water brought in in the morning, and not renewed throughout the day, was soon corrupted, soon poisoned by the fetid air), the door opened, and the soldier, who had just received the rods, was brought in under a double escort. I saw, for the first time, a man who had just been whipped. Later on many were brought in, and whenever this happened it caused great distress to the patients. These unfortunate men were received with grave composure, but the nature of the reception depended nearly always on the enormity of the crime committed, and, consequently, the number of strokes administered.
The criminals most cruelly whipped, and who were celebrated as brigands of the first order, enjoyed more respect and attention than a simple deserter, a recruit, like the one who had just been brought in. But in neither case was any particular sympathy manifested, nor were any annoying remarks made. The unhappy man was attended to in silence, above all if he was incapable of attending to himself. The assistant-surgeons knew that they were entrusting their patients to skilful and experienced hands. The usual treatment consisted in applying very often to the back of the man who had been whipped a shirt or a piece of linen steeped in cold water. It was also necessary to withdraw skilfully from the wounds the twigs left by the rods which had been broken on the criminal’s back. This last operation was particularly painful to the patients. The extraordinary stoicism with which they supported their sufferings astonished me greatly.
I have seen many convicts who had been whipped, and cruelly, I can tell you. Well, I do not remember one of them uttering a groan. Only after such an experience, the countenance becomes pale, decomposed, the eyes glitter, the look wanders, and the lips tremble so that the patient sometimes bites them till they bleed.
The soldier who had just come in was twenty-three years of age; he had a good muscular development, and was rather a fine man, tall, well-made, with a bronzed skin. His back, uncovered down to the waist, had been seriously beaten, and his body now trembled with fever beneath the damp sheet with which his back was covered. For about an hour and a half he did nothing but walk backwards and forwards in the room. I looked at his face: he seemed to be thinking of nothing; his eyes had a strange expression, at once wild and timid; they seemed to fix themselves with difficulty on the various objects. I fancied I saw him looking attentively at my hot tea; the steam was rising from the full cup, and the poor devil was shivering and clattering his teeth. I invited him to have some; he turned towards me without saying a word, and taking up the cup, swallowed the tea at one gulp, without putting sugar in it. He tried not to look at me, and when he had finished he put the cup back in silence without making a sign, and then began to walk up and down as before. He was in too much pain to think of speaking to me or thanking me. As for the other prisoners, they abstained from questioning him; when once they had applied compresses they paid no more attention to him, thinking probably it would be better to leave him alone, and not to worry him by their questions and compassion. The soldier seemed quite satisfied with this view.
Meanwhile, night came on and the lamp was lighted; some of the patients possessed candlesticks of their own, but these were not numerous. In the evening the doctor came round, after which a non-commissioned officer on guard counted the patients and closed the room.
The prisoners could not speak in too high terms of their doctors. They looked upon them truly as fathers and respected them. These doctors had always something pleasant to say, a kind word even for reprobates, who appreciated it all the more because they knew it was said in all sincerity.
Yes, these kind words were really sincere, for no one would have thought of blaming the doctors had they shown themselves cross and inhuman; they were kind purely from humanity. They understood perfectly that a convict who is sick has as much right to breathe pure air as any other person, even though the latter might be a great personage. The convalescents there had a right to walk freely through the corridors to take exercise, and to breathe air less pestilential than that of our infirmary, which was close and saturated with deleterious emanations. In our ward, when once the doors had been closed in the evening, they had to remain closed throughout the night, and under no pretext was one of the inmates allowed to go out.
For many years an inexplicable fact troubled me like an insoluble problem. I must speak of it before going on with my description. I am thinking of the chains which every convict is obliged to wear, however ill he may be; even consumptives have died beneath my eyes with their legs loaded with irons.
Everybody was accustomed to it, and regarded it as an inevitable fact. I do not think any one, even the doctors, would have thought of demanding the removal of the irons from convicts who were seriously ill, not even from the consumptive ones. The chains, it is true, were not exceedingly heavy; they did not in general weigh more than eight or ten pounds, which is a supportable burden for a man in good health. I have been told, however, that after some years the legs of the convicts dry up and waste away. I do not know whether it is true. I am inclined to think it is; the weight, however light it may be (say not more than ten pounds), if it is fixed to the leg for ever, increases the general weight in an abnormal manner, and at the end of a certain time must have a disastrous effect on its development.
For a convict in good health this is nothing, but the same cannot be said of one who is sick. For the convicts who were seriously ill, for the consumptive ones whose arms and legs dry up of themselves, this last straw is insupportable. Even if the medical authorities claimed alleviation for the consumptive patients alone, it would be an immense benefit, I assure you. I shall be told convicts are malefactors, unworthy of compassion; but ought increased severity to be shown towards him on whom the finger of God already weighs? No one will believe that the object of this aggravation is to reform the criminal. The consumptive prisoners are exempted from corporal punishment by the tribunal.
There must be some mysterious, important reason for all this, but what it is, it is impossible to understand. No one believes—it is impossible to believe—that a consumptive man will run away. Who can think of such a thing, especially if the illness has reached a certain degree of intensity? It is impossible to deceive the doctors and make them mistake a convict in good health for one who is in a consumption, for this malady is one that can be recognised at the first glance. Moreover, can the irons prevent the convict not in good health from escaping? Not in the least. The irons are a degradation and shame, a physical and moral burden; but they would not hinder any one attempting to escape. The most awkward and least intelligent convict can saw through them, or break the rivets by hammering at them with a stone. Chains, then, are a useless precaution; and if the convicts wear them as a punishment, should not this punishment be spared to dying men?
As I write these lines, a face stands out from my memory: that of a dying man, a man who died in consumption, this same Mikhailoff, whose bed was nearly opposite me, and who expired, I think, four days after my arrival at the hospital. When I spoke above of the consumptive patients, I was only reproducing involuntarily the sensations and ideas which occurred to me on the occasion of this death. I knew Mikhailoff very little; he was a young man of twenty-five at most, not very tall, thin, and with a fine face; he belonged to the “special section,” and was remarkable for his strange, but soft and sad taciturnity; he seemed to have “dried up” in the convict prison, to use an expression employed by the convicts who had a good recollection of him. I remember he had very fine eyes. I really cannot tell why I think of that.
He died at three o’clock in the afternoon on a clear, dry day. The sun was darting its brilliant rays obliquely through the greenish, frozen panes of our room. A torrent of light inundated the unhappy patient, who had lost all consciousness, and was several hours dying. From the early morning his sight became confused; he was unable to recognise those who approached him. The convicts would gladly have done anything to relieve him, for they saw he was in great suffering. His respiration was painful, deep, and irregular; his breast rose and fell violently, as though he were in want of air; he cast his blanket and his clothes far from him. Then he began to tear up his shirt, which seemed to him a terrible burden. It was taken off. Then it was frightful to see this immensely long body, with fleshless arms and legs, with beating breast, and ribs which were as clearly marked as those of a skeleton. There was nothing now on this skeleton but a cross and the irons, from which his dried-up legs might easily have freed themselves. A quarter of an hour before his death everything was silent in our ward, and the inmates spoke only in whispers. The convicts walked on the tips of their toes. From time to time they exchanged remarks on other subjects, and cast a furtive glance at the dying man. The rattling in his throat grew more and more painful. At last, with a trembling hand, he felt the cross on his breast and endeavoured to tear it off; it was also weighing upon him, suffocating him. It was taken off. Ten minutes afterwards, he died. Some one then knocked at the door in order to give notice to the sentinel; the warder entered, looked at the dead man with a vacant air, and went away to get the assistant-surgeon. The assistant-surgeon was a good fellow enough, but a little too much occupied with his personal appearance, otherwise very agreeable; he soon arrived, went up to the corpse with long strides which made a noise in the silent ward, and felt the dead man’s pulse with an unconcerned air which seemed to have been put on for the occasion. He then made a vague gesture with his hand and went out.
Information was given at the guard-house; for the criminal was an important one (he belonged to the special section), and in order to register his death it was necessary to go through some formalities. While we were waiting for the hospital guard to come, one of the prisoners said in a whisper, “The eyes of the defunct might as well be closed.” Another one profited by this remark, and approaching Mikhailoff in silence, closed his eyes; then perceiving on the pillow the cross which had been taken from his neck, he took it and looked at it, put it down, and crossed himself. The face of the dead man was becoming ossified; a ray of white light was playing on the surface and illuminated two rows of white, good teeth which sparkled between his thin lips, glued to the gums by the mouth.
The non-commissioned officer on guard arrived at last, musket on shoulder, helmet on head, accompanied by two soldiers; he approached the corpse, slackening his pace with an air of uncertainty. Then he examined with a side glance the silent prisoners, who looked at him with a sombre expression. At one step from the dead man he stopped short, as if suddenly nailed to the spot; the naked, dried-up body, loaded with irons, had impressed him; he undid his chin-strap, removed his helmet (which was not at all necessary for him to do), and made the sign of the cross; he had a gray head, the head of a soldier who had seen much service. I remember that by his side stood Tchekounoff, an old man who was also gray. He looked all the time at the non-commissioned officer, and followed all his movements with strange attention. They glanced across, and I saw that Tchekounoff also trembled. He bit and closed his teeth, and said to the non-commissioned officer, as if involuntarily, at the same time nodding his head in the direction of the dead man, “He had a mother, too!”
These words went to my heart. Why had he said them? and how did this idea occur to him? The corpse was raised with the mattress; the straw creaked, the chains dragged along the ground with a sharp ring; they were taken up and the body was carried out. Suddenly all spoke once more in a loud voice. The non-commissioned officer in the corridor could well be heard crying out to some one to go for the blacksmith. It was necessary to take the dead man’s irons off. But I have digressed from my subject.

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CHAPTER II. THE HOSPITAL (continued).

The doctors used to visit the wards in the morning, towards eleven o’clock; they appeared all together, forming a procession, which was headed by the chief physician. An hour and a half before, the ordinary physician had made his round. He was a quiet young man, always affable and kind, much liked by the prisoners, and thoroughly versed in his art; they only found one fault with him, that he was “too soft.” He was, in fact, by no means communicative, he seemed confused in our presence, blushed sometimes, and changed the quantity of food at the first representation of the patient. I think he would have consented to give them any medicine they desired: in other respects an excellent young man.
A doctor in Russia often enjoys the affection and respect of the people, and with reason, as far as I have been able to see. I know that my words would seem a paradox, above all when the mistrust of this same people for foreign drugs and foreign doctors is taken into account; in fact, they prefer, even when suffering from a serious illness, to address themselves year after year to a witch, or employ old women’s remedies (which, however, ought not to be despised), rather than consult a doctor, or go into the hospital. In truth, these prejudices may be above all attributed to causes which have nothing to do with medicine, namely, the mistrust of the people for anything which bears an official and administrative character; nor must it be forgotten that the common people are frightened and prejudiced in regard to the hospitals, by the stories, often absurd, of fantastic horrors said to take place within them. Perhaps, however, these stories have a basis of truth.
But what repels them above all, is the Germanism of the hospitals, the idea that during their illness they will be attended to by foreigners, the severity of the diet, the heartlessness of the surgeons and doctors, the dissection and autopsy of the bodies, etc. The common people reflect, moreover, that they will be attended by nobles—for in their view the doctors belong to the nobility. Once they have made acquaintance with them (there are exceptions, no doubt, but they are rare), their fears vanish. This success must be attributed to our doctors, especially the young ones, who, for the most part, know how to gain the respect and affection of the people. I speak now of what I myself have seen and experienced in many cases and in different parts, and I think matters are the same everywhere. In some distant localities the doctors receive presents, make profit out of their hospitals, and neglect the patients; sometimes they forget even their art. This happens, no doubt; but I am speaking of the majority, inspired as it is by that spirit, that generous tendency which is regenerating the medical art. As for the apostates, the wolves in the sheep-fold, they may excuse themselves, and cast the blame on the circumstances amid which they live; but they are absurd, inexcusable, especially if they are no longer humane; it is precisely the humanity, affability, and brotherly compassion of the doctor which prove most efficacious remedies for the patients. It is time to stop these apathetic lamentations on the circumstances surrounding us. There may be truth in the lament, but a cunning rogue who knows how to take care of himself never fails to blame the circumstances around him when he wishes his faults to be forgiven—above all, if he writes or speaks with eloquence.
I have again departed from my subject; I wish only to say that the common people mistrust and dislike officialism and the Government doctors, rather than the doctors themselves; but on personal acquaintance many prejudices disappear.
Our doctor generally stopped before the bed of each patient, questioned him seriously and attentively, then prescribed the remedies, potions, etc. He sometimes noticed that the pretended invalid was not ill at all; he had come to take rest after his hard work, and to sleep on a mattress in a warm room, far preferable to the naked planks in a damp guard-house among a mass of pale, broken-down men, waiting for their trial. In Russia the prisoners in the House of Detention are almost always broken down, which shows that their moral and material condition is worse even than those of the convicts.
In cases of feigned sickness our doctor would describe the patient as suffering from febris catharalis, and sometimes allowed him to remain a week in the hospital. Every one laughed at this febris catharalis, for it was known to be a formula agreed upon between the doctor and the patient to indicate no malady at all. Often the robust invalid who abused the doctor’s compassion remained in the hospital until he was turned out by force. Our doctor was worth seeing then. Confused by the prisoner’s obstinacy, he did not like to tell him plainly that he was cured and offer him his leaving ticket, although he had the right to send him away without the least explanation on writing the words, sanat. est. First he would hint to him that it was time to go, and then would beg him to leave.
“You must go, you know you are cured now, and we have no place for you, we are very much cramped here, etc.”
At last, ashamed to remain any longer, the patient would consent to go. The physician-in-chief, although compassionate and just (the patients were much attached to him), was incomparably more severe and more decided than our ordinary physician. In certain cases he showed merciless severity which only gained for him the respect of the convicts. He always came into the room accompanied by all the doctors of the hospital, when his assistants visited all the beds and diagnosed on each particular case; he stopped longest at the beds of those who were seriously ill, and had an encouraging word for them. He never sent back the convicts who arrived with febris catharalis; but if one of them was determined to remain in the hospital, he certified that the man was cured. “Come,” he would say, “you have had your rest; now go, you must not take liberties.”
Those who insisted upon remaining, were, above all, the convicts who were worn out by field labour, performed during the great summer heat, or prisoners who had been sentenced to be whipped. I remember that they were obliged to be particularly severe, merely in order to get rid of one of them. He had come to be cured of some disease of the eyes, which were red all over; he complained of suffering a sharp pain in the eyelids. He was incurable; plasters, blisters, leeches, nothing did him any good; and the diseased organ remained in the same condition.
Then it occurred to the doctors that the illness was feigned, for the inflammation neither became worse nor better; and they soon understood that a comedy was being played, although the patient would not admit it. He was a fine young fellow, not ill-looking, though he produced a disagreeable impression upon all his companions; he was suspicious, sombre, full of dissimulation, and never looked any one straight in the face; he also kept himself apart as if he mistrusted us all. I remember that many persons were afraid that he would do some one harm.
When he was a soldier he had committed some small theft, he had been arrested and condemned to receive a thousand strokes, and afterwards to pass into a disciplinary company.
To put off the moment of punishment, the prisoners, as I have already said, will do incredible things. On the eve of the fatal day, they will stick a knife into one of their chiefs, or into a comrade, in order that they may be tried again for this new offence, which will delay their punishment for a month or two. It matters little to them that their punishment be doubled or tripled, if they can escape this time. What they desire is to put off temporarily the terrible minute at whatever cost, so utterly does their heart fail them.
Many of the patients thought the man with the sore eyes ought to be watched, lest in his despair he should assassinate some one during the night; but no precaution was taken, not even by those who slept next to him. It was remarked, however, that he rubbed his eyes with plaster from the wall, and with something else besides, in order that they might appear red when the doctor came round; at last the doctor-in-chief threatened to cure him by-means of a seton.
When the malady resists all ordinary treatment, the doctors determine to try some heroic, however painful, remedy. But the poor devil did not wish to get well, he was either too obstinate or too cowardly; for, however painful the proposed operation may be, it cannot be compared to the punishment of the rods.
The operation consists in seizing the patient by the nape of the neck, taking up the skin, drawing it back as much as possible, and making in it a double incision, through which is passed a skein of cotton about as thick as the finger. Every day at a fixed hour this skein is pulled backwards and forwards in order that the wound may continually suppurate and may not heal; the poor devil endured this torture which caused him horrible suffering, for several days.
At last he consented to quit the hospital. In less than a day his eyes became quite well; and, as soon as his neck was healed, he was sent to the guard-house which he left next day to receive the first thousand strokes.
Painful is the minute which precedes such a punishment; so painful, that perhaps I am wrong in taxing with cowardice those convicts who fear it.
It must be terrible; for the convicts to risk a double or triple punishment, merely to postpone it. I have spoken, however, of convicts who have thus wished to quit the hospital before the wounds caused by the first part of the flogging were healed, in order to receive the last part and make an end of it. For life in a guard-room is certainly worse than in a convict prison.
The habit of receiving floggings helps in some cases to give intrepidity and decision to convicts. Those who have been often flogged, are hardened both in body and mind, and have at last looked upon such a punishment as merely a disagreeable incident no longer to be feared.
One of our convicts of the special section was a converted Tartar, who was named Alexander, or Alexandrina, as they called him in fun at the convict prison; who told me how he had received 4,000 strokes. He never spoke of this punishment except with amusement and laughter; but he swore very seriously that if he had not been brought up in his horde, from his most tender infancy, on whipping and flogging—and as the scars which covered his back, and which refused to disappear, were there to testify—he would never have been able to support those 4,000 strokes. He blessed the education of sticks that he had received.
“I was beaten for the least thing, Alexander Petrovitch,” he said one evening, when we were sitting down before the fire. “I was beaten without reason for fifteen years, as long as I can ever remember, and several times a day. Any one who liked beat me; so that, at last, it made no impression upon me.”
I do not know how it was he became a soldier, for perhaps he lied, and had always been a deserter and vagabond. But I remember his telling me one day of the fright he was seized with when he was condemned to receive 4,000 strokes for having killed one of his officers.
“I know that they will punish me severely,” he said to himself, “that, accustomed as I am to be whipped, I shall perhaps die on the spot. The devil! 4,000 strokes is not a trifle; and then all my officers were in a fearful temper with me on account of this affair. I knew well that it would not be ‘rose-water.’ I even believed that I should die under the rods. I determined to get baptized. I said to myself, that perhaps they would not then flog me, at any rate it was worth trying, my comrades had told me that it would be of no good. But,’ I said to myself, ‘who knows? perhaps they will pardon me, they will have more compassion on a Christian than on a Mohammedan. They baptized me, and give me the name of Alexander; but, in spite of that, I had to take my flogging; they did not let me off a single stroke; I was, however, very savage. ‘Wait a bit,’ I said to myself, ‘and I will take you all in’; and, would you believe it, Alexander? I did take them all in. I knew how to look like a dead man; not that I appeared altogether without life, but I looked as if I were on the point of breathing my last. They led me in front of the battalion to receive my first thousand; my skin was burning, I began to howl. They gave me my second thousand, and I said to myself, ‘It’s all over now.’ I had lost my head, my legs seemed broken, so I fell to the ground, with the eyes of a dead man. My face blue, my mouth full of froth, I no longer breathed. When the doctor came he said I was on the point of death. I was carried to the hospital, and at once returned to life. Twice again they flogged me. What a rage they were in! I took them all in on each occasion. I received my third thousand, and died again. On my word, when they gave me the last thousand each stroke ought to have counted for three, it was like a knife in my heart. Oh, how they did beat me! They were so severe with me. Oh, that cursed fourth thousand! it was well worth three firsts put together. If I had pretended to be dead when I had still 200 to receive, I think they would have finished me; but they did not get the better of me. I had them again and again, for they always thought it was all over with me, and how could they have thought otherwise? The doctor was sure of it. But as for the 200 which I had still to receive, they might have struck as hard as they liked—they were worth 2,000; I only laughed at them. Why? Because, when I was a youngster, I had grown up under the whip. Well, I am well, and alive now; but I have been beaten in the course of my life,” he repeated, with a passive air, as he brought his story to an end. As he did so, he seemed to recollect and count anew the blows he had received.
After a brief silence, he said: “I cannot count them, nor can any one else; there are not figures enough.” He looked at me, and burst into a laugh, so simple and natural, that I could not help smiling in return.
“Do you know, Alexander Petrovitch, when I dream at night, I always dream that I am being flogged. I dream of nothing else.” He, in fact, talked in his sleep, and woke up the other prisoners.
“What are you yelling about, you demon?” they would say to him.
This strong, robust fellow, short in stature, about forty-four years of age, active, good-looking, lived on good terms with every one, though he was very fond of taking what did not belong to him, and afterwards got beaten for it. But each of our convicts who stole got beaten for their thefts.
I will add to these remarks that I was always surprised at the extraordinary good-nature, the absence of rancour with which these unhappy men spoke of their punishment, and of the chiefs superintending it. In these stories, which often gave me palpitation of the heart, not a shadow of hatred or rancour could be detected; they laughed at what they had suffered like children.
It was not the same, however, with M—tçki, when he told me of his punishment. As he was not a noble, he had been sentenced to be flogged. He had never spoken to me of it, and when I asked him if it were true, he replied affirmatively in two brief words, but with evident suffering, and without looking at me. He at the same time turned red, and when he raised his eyes, I saw flames burning in them, while his lips trembled with indignation. I felt that he would not forget, that he could never forget this page of his history. Our companions generally on the other hand (though theirs might have been exceptions), looked upon their adventures with quite another eye. It is impossible, I sometimes thought, that they can be conscious of their guilt, and not acknowledge the justice of their punishment; above all, when their offences were against their companions and not against some chief. The greater part of them did not acknowledge their guilt. I have already said that I never observed in them the least remorse, even when the crime had been committed against people of their own station. As for the crimes committed against a chief, they did not even speak of them. It seems to me that for those cases, they had special views of their own. They looked upon them as accidents caused by destiny, by fatality, into which they had fallen unconsciously as the result of some extraordinary impulse. The convict always justifies the crimes he has committed against his chief; he does not trouble himself about the matter. But he admits that the chief cannot share his view, and consequently, that he must naturally be punished, and then he will be quits with him.
The struggle between the administration and the prisoner is of the severest character on both sides. What in a great measure justifies the criminal in his own eyes, is his conviction that the people among whom he has been born and has lived will acquit him. He is certain that the common people will not look upon him as a lost man, unless, indeed, his crime has bean committed against persons of his own class, against his brethren. He is quite calm about that; supported by his conscience, he will not lose his moral tranquillity, and that is the principal thing. He feels himself on firm ground, and has no particular hatred for the knout, when once it has been administered to him. He knows that it was inevitable, and consoles himself by thinking that he was neither the first nor the last to receive it. Does the soldier detest the Turk whom he fights? Not in the least! yet he sabres him, hacks him to pieces, kills him.
It must not be thought, moreover, that all of these stories were told with indifference and in cold blood.
When the name of Jerebiatnikof was mentioned, it was always with indignation. I made the acquaintance of this officer during my first stay in the hospital—only by the convicts’ stories, it must be understood. I afterwards saw him one day when he was commanding the guard at the convict prison; he was about thirty years old, very stout and very strong, with red cheeks hanging down on each side, white teeth, and a formidable laugh. One could see in a moment that he was in no way given to reflection. He took the greatest pleasure in whipping and flogging, when he had to superintend the punishment. I must hasten to say that the other officers looked upon Jerebiatnikof as a monster, and the convicts did the same. This was in the good old time, which is not very very far off, but in which it is already difficult to believe executioners delighted in their office. But, generally speaking, the strokes were administered without enthusiasm.
This lieutenant was an exception, and he took a real pleasure and delight in punishment. He had a passion for it, and liked it for its own sake; he looked to this art for unnatural delights in order to tickle and excite his base soul. A prisoner is conducted to the place of punishment. Jerebiatnikof is the officer superintending the execution. Arranging a long line of soldiers, armed with heavy rods, he walks along the front with a satisfied air, and encourages each one to do his duty, conscientiously or otherwise—the soldiers know before what “otherwise” means. The criminal is brought out. If he does not yet know Jerebiatnikof, if he is not in the secret of the mystery, the Lieutenant plays him the following trick—one of the inventions of Jerebiatnikof, very ingenious in this style of thing. The prisoner, whose back has been bared, and whom the non-commissioned officers have fastened to the butt end of a musket in order to drag him afterwards through the whole length of the “Green Street.” He begs the officer in charge, with a plaintive and tearful voice, not to have him struck too hard, not to double the punishment by any undue severity.
“Your nobility!” cries the unhappy wretch, “have pity on me, treat me fraternally, so that I may pray God throughout my life for you. Do not destroy me, show mercy!”
Jerebiatnikof had waited for this. He now suspended the execution, and engaged the prisoner in conversation, speaking to him in a sentimental, compassionate tone.
“But, my good fellow,” he would say, “what am I to do? It is the law that punishes you—it is the law.”
“Your nobility! You can make it everything; have pity upon me.”
“Do you really think that I have no pity on you? Do you think it is any pleasure to me to see you whipped? I am a man, am I not? Answer me, am I not a man?”
“Certainly, your nobility. We know that the officers are our fathers and we their children. Be to me a venerable father,” the prisoner would cry, seeing some possibility of escaping punishment.
“Then, my friend, judge for yourself. You have a brain to think with, you know I am human, I ought to take compassion on you, sinner though you be.”
“Your nobility says the absolute truth.”
“Yes, I ought to be merciful to you however guilty you may be. But it is not I who punish you, it is the law. I serve God and my country, and consequently I commit a grave sin if I mitigate the punishment fixed by the law. Only think of that!”
“Your nobility!”
“Well, what am I to do? Only think, I know that I am doing wrong, but it shall be as you wish; I will have mercy upon you, you shall be punished lightly. But if I really do this on one occasion, if I show mercy, if I punish you lightly, you will think that at another time I shall be merciful, and you will recommence your follies. What do you say to that?”
“Your nobility, preserve me! Before the throne of the heavenly Creator, I——”
“No, no; you swear that you will behave yourself.”
“May the Lord cause me to die this moment and in the next world.”
“Do not swear in that way, it is a sin; I shall believe you if you will give me your word.”
“Your nobility.”
“Well, listen, I will have mercy on you on account of your tears, your orphan’s tears, for you are an orphan, are you not?”
“Orphan on both sides, your nobility, I am alone in the world.”
“Well, on account of your orphan’s tears I have pity on you,” he added, in a voice so full of emotion, that the prisoner could not sufficiently thank God for having sent him so good an officer.
The procession went out, the drum rolled, the soldiers brandished their arms. “Flog him,” Jerebiatnikof would roar from the bottom of his lungs, “flog him! burn him! skin him alive! Harder! harder! Give it harder to this orphan! Give it him, the rogue.”
The soldiers lay on the strokes with all their might on the back of the unhappy wretch, whose eyes dart fire, and who howls while Jerebiatnikof runs after him in front of the line, holding his sides with laughter—he puffs and blows so that he can scarcely hold himself upright. He is happy. He thinks it droll. From time to time his formidable resonant laugh is heard, as he keeps on repeating, “Flog him! thrash him! this brigand! this orphan!”
He had composed variation on this motive. The prisoner has been brought to undergo his punishment. He begs the lieutenant to have pity on him. This time Jerebiatnikof does not play the hypocrite; he is frank with the prisoner.
“Look, my dear fellow, I will punish you as you deserve, but I can show you one act of mercy. I will not attach you to the butt end of the musket, you shall go along in a new style, you have only to run as hard as you can along the front, each rod will strike you as a matter of course, but it will be over sooner. What do you say to that, will you try?”
The prisoner, who has listened, full of mistrust and doubt, says to himself: Perhaps this way will not be so bad as the other. If I run with all my might, it will not last quite so long, and perhaps all the rods will not touch me.
“Well, your nobility, I consent.”
“I also consent. Come, mind your business,” cries the lieutenant to the soldiers. He knew beforehand that not one rod would spare the back of the unfortunate wretch; the soldier who failed to hit him would know what to expect.
The convict tries to run along the “Green Street,” but he does not go beyond fifteen men before the rods rain upon his poor spine like hail; so that the unfortunate man shrieks out, and falls as if he had been struck by a bullet.
“No, your nobility, I prefer to be flogged in the ordinary way,” he says, managing to get up, pale and frightened. While Jerebiatnikof, who knew beforehand how this affair would end, held his sides and burst into a laugh.
But I cannot relate all the diversions invented by him, and all that was told about him.
My companions also spoke of a Lieutenant Smekaloff, who fulfilled the functions of Commandant before the arrival of our present Major. They spoke of Jerebiatnikof with indifference, without hatred, but also without exalting his high achievements. They did not praise him, they simply despised him, whilst at the name of Smekaloff the whole prison burst into a chorus of laudation. The Lieutenant was by no means fond of administering the rods; there was nothing in him of Jerebiatnikof’s disposition. How did it happen that the convicts remembered his punishments, severe as they were, with sweet satisfaction. How did he manage to please them. How did he gain the popularity he certainly enjoyed?
Our companions, like Russian people in general, were ready to forget their tortures if a kind word was said to them; I speak of the effect itself without analysing or examining it. It is not difficult, then, to gain the affections of such a people and become popular. Lieutenant Smekaloff had gained such popularity, and when the punishments he had directed were spoken of, they were always mentioned with a certain sympathy.
“He was as kind as a father,” the convicts would sometimes say, as, with a sigh, they compared him with their present chief, the Major who had replaced him.
He was a simple-minded man, and kind in a manner. There are chiefs who are naturally kind and merciful, but who are not at all liked and are laughed at; whereas, Smekaloff had so managed that all the prisoners had a special regard for him; this was due to innate qualities, which those who possess them do not understand. Strange thing! There are men who are far from being kind, and who have yet the talent of making themselves popular; they do not despise the people who are beneath their rule. That, I think, is the cause of this popularity. They do not give themselves lordly airs; they have no feeling of “caste;” they have a certain odour of the people; they are men of birth, and the people at once sniff it. They will do anything for such men; they will gladly change the mildest and most humane man for a very severe chief, if the latter possesses this sort of odour, and especially if the man is also genial in his way. Oh! then he is beyond price.
Lieutenant Smekaloff, as I have said, ordered sometimes very severe punishments. But he seemed to inflict them in such a way, that the prisoners felt no rancour against him. On the contrary, they recalled his whipping affairs with laughter; he did not punish frequently, for he had no artistic imagination. He had invented only one practical joke, a single one which amused him for nearly a year in our convict prison. This joke was dear to him, probably, because it was his only one, and it was not without humour.
Smekaloff assisted himself at the executions, joking all the time, and laughing at the prisoner as he questioned him about the most out-of-the-way things, such, for instance, as his private affairs. He did this without any bad motive, and simply because he really wished to know something about the man’s affairs. A chair was brought to him, together with the rods which were to be used for chastising the prisoner. The Lieutenant sat down and lighted his long pipe; the prisoner implored him.
“No, comrade, lie down. What is the matter with you?”
The convict stretched himself on the ground with a sigh.
“Can you read fluently?”
“Of course, your nobility; I am baptized, and I was taught to read when I was a child.”
“Then read this.”
The convict knows beforehand what he is to read, and knows how the reading will end, because this joke has been repeated more than thirty times; but Smekaloff knows also that the convict is not his dupe any more than the soldier who now holds the rods suspended over the back of the unhappy victim. The convict begins to read; the soldiers armed with the rods await motionless. Smekaloff ceases even to smoke, raises his hand, and waits for a word fixed upon beforehand. At the word, which from some double meaning might be interpreted as the order to start, the Lieutenant raises his hand, and the flogging begins. The officer bursts into a laugh, and the soldiers around him also laugh; the man who is whipping laughs, and the man who is being whipped also.

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CHAPTER III. THE HOSPITAL(continued).

 [12]

I have spoken here of punishments and of those who have administered them, because I got a very clear idea on the subject during my stay in the hospital. Until then I knew of them only by general report. In our room were confined all the prisoners from the battalion who were to receive the spitzruten [13], as well as those from the military establishment in our town and in the district surrounding it.
During my first few days I looked at all that surrounded me with such greedy eyes that these strange manners, these men who had just been flogged or were about to be flogged, left upon me a terrible impression. I was agitated, frightened.
As I listened to the conversation or narratives of the other prisoners on this subject, I put to myself questions which I endeavoured in vain to solve. I wished to know all the degrees of the sentences; the punishments, and their shades; and to learn the opinion of the convicts themselves. I tried to represent to myself the psychological condition of the men flogged.
It rarely happened, as I have already said, that the prisoner approached the fatal moment in cold blood, even if he had been beaten several times before. The condemned man experiences a fear which is very terrible, but purely physical—an unconscious fear which upsets his moral nature.
During my several years’ stay in the convict prison I was able to study at leisure the prisoners who wished to leave the hospital, where they had remained some time to have their damaged backs cured before receiving the second half of their punishment. This interruption in the punishment is always called for by the doctor who assists at the execution.
If the number of strokes to be received is too great for them to be administered all at once, it is divided according to advice given by the doctor on the spot. It is for him to see if the prisoner is in a condition to undergo the whole of his punishment, or if his life is in danger.
Five hundred, one thousand, and even one thousand five hundred strokes with the stick are administered at once. But if it is two or three thousand the punishment is divided into two or three doses.
Those whose back had been cured after the first administration, and who are to undergo a second, were sad, sombre and silent the day they went out, and the evening before. They were almost in a state of torpor. They engaged in no conversation, and remained perfectly silent.
It is worthy of remark that the prisoners avoid addressing those who are about to be punished, and, above all, never make any allusion to the subject, neither in consolation nor in superfluous words. No attention whatever is paid to them, which is certainly the best thing for the prisoner.
There are exceptions, however.
The convict Orloff, of whom I have already spoken, was sorry that his back did not get more quickly cured, for he was anxious to get his leave-ticket in order that he might take the rest of his flogging, and then be assigned to a convoy of prisoners, when he meant to escape during the journey. He had a passionate, ardent nature, and with only that object in view.
A cunning rascal, he seemed very pleased when he first came; but he was in a state of abnormal excitement, though he endeavoured to conceal it. He had been afraid of being left on the ground, and dying before half of his punishment had been undergone. He had heard steps taken in his case, by the authorities, when he was still being tried, and he thought he could not survive the punishment. But when he had received his first dose he recovered his courage.
When he came to the hospital I had never seen such wounds as his; but he was in the best spirits. He now hoped to be able to live. The stories which had reached him were untrue, or the execution would not have been interrupted.
He now began to think of a long Siberian journey, possibly of escaping to liberty, fields, and forests.
Two days after he had left the hospital he came back to die—on the very couch which he had occupied during my stay there.
He had been unable to support the second half of his punishment; but I have already spoken of this man.
All the prisoners without exception, even the most pusillanimous, even those who were beforehand tormented night and day, supported it courageously when it came. I scarcely ever heard groans during the night following the execution; our people, as a rule, knew how to endure pain.
I questioned my companion often in reference to this pain, that I might know to what kind of suffering it might be compared. It was no idle curiosity which urged me. I repeat that I was moved and frightened; but it was in vain, I could get no satisfactory reply.
“It burns like fire!” was the general answer; they all said the same thing.
First I tried to question M—tski. “It burns like fire! like hell! It seems as if one’s back were in a furnace.”
I made one day a strange observation, which may or may not have been well founded, although the opinion of the convicts themselves confirms my views; namely, that the rods are the most terrible punishment in use among us.
At first it seems absurd, impossible, yet five hundred strokes of the rods, four hundred even, are enough to kill a man. Beyond five hundred death is almost certain; the most robust man will be unable to support a thousand rods, whereas five hundred sticks are endured without much inconvenience, and without the least risk in the world of losing one’s life. A man of ordinary build supports a thousand sticks without danger; even two thousand sticks will not kill a man of ordinary strength and constitution. All the convicts declared that rods were worse than sticks or ramrods.
“Rods hurt more and torture more!” they said.
They must torture more than sticks, that is certain, that is evident; for they irritate much more forcibly the nervous system, which they excite beyond measure. I do not know whether any person still exists, but such did a short time ago, to whom the whipping of a victim procured a delight which recalls the Marquis de Sade and the Marchioness Brinvilliers. I think this delight must consist in the sinking of the heart, and that these nobles must have experienced pain and delight at the same time.
There are people who, like tigers, are greedy for blood. Those who have possessed unlimited power over the flesh, blood, and soul of their fellow-creatures, of their brethren according to the law of Christ, those who have possessed this power and who have been able to degrade with a supreme degradation, another being made in the image of God; these men are incapable of resisting their desires and their thirst for sensations. Tyranny is a habit capable of being developed, and at last becomes a disease. I declare that the best man in the world can become hardened and brutalised to such a point, that nothing will distinguish him from a wild beast. Blood and power intoxicate; they aid the development of callousness and debauchery; the mind then becomes capable of the most abnormal cruelty in the form of pleasure; the man and the citizen disappear for ever in the tyrant; and then a return to human dignity, repentance, moral resurrection, becomes almost impossible.
That the possibility of such license has a contagious effect on the whole of society there is no doubt. A society which looks upon such things with an indifferent eye, is already infected to the marrow. In a word, the right granted to a man to inflict corporal punishment on his fellow-men, is one of the plague-spots of our society. It is the means of annihilating all civic spirit. Such a right contains in germ the elements of inevitable, imminent decomposition.
Society despises an executioner by trade, but not a lordly executioner. Every manufacturer, every master of works, must feel an irritating pleasure when he reflects that the workman he has beneath his orders is dependent upon him with the whole of his family. A generation does not, I am sure, extirpate so quickly what is hereditary in it. A man cannot renounce what is in his blood, what has been transmitted to him with his mother’s milk; these revolutions are not accomplished so quickly. It is not enough to confess one’s fault. That is very little! Very little indeed! It must be rooted out, and that is not done so quickly.
I have spoken of the executioners. The instincts of an executioner are in germ in nearly every one of our contemporaries; but the animal instincts of the man have not developed themselves in a uniform manner. When they stifle all other faculties, the man becomes a hideous monster.
There are two kinds of executioners, those who of their own will are executioners and those who are executioners by duty, by reason of office. He who, by his own will, is an executioner, is in all respects below the salaried executioner, whom, however, the people look upon with repugnance, and who inspires them with disgust, with instinctive mystical fear. Whence comes this almost superstitious horror for the latter, when one is only indifferent and indulgent to the former?
I know strange examples of honourable men, kind, esteemed by all their friends, who found it necessary that a culprit should be whipped until he would implore and beg for mercy; it seemed to them a natural thing, a thing recognised as indispensable. If the victim did not choose to cry out, his executioner, whom in other respects I should consider a good man, looked upon it as a personal offence; he meant, in the first instance, to inflict only a light punishment, but directly he failed to hear the habitual supplications, “Your nobility!” “Have mercy!” “Be a father to me!” “Let me thank God all my life!” he became furious, and ordered that fifty more blows should be administered, hoping thus, at last, to obtain the necessary cries and supplications; and at last they came.
“Impossible! he is too insolent,” cried the man in question, very seriously.
As for the executioner by office, he is a convict who has been chosen for this function. He passes an apprenticeship with an old hand, and as soon as he knows his trade remains in the convict prison, where he lives by himself. He has a room, which he shares with no one. Sometimes, indeed, he has a separate establishment, but he is always under guard. A man is not a machine. Although he whips by virtue of his office, he sometimes becomes furious, and beats with a certain pleasure. Notwithstanding he has no hatred for his victim, a desire to show his skill in the art of whipping may sharpen his vanity. He works as an artist; he knows well that he is a reprobate, and that he excites everywhere superstitious dread. It is impossible that this should exercise no influence upon him, and not irritate his brutal instincts.
Even little children say that this man has neither father nor mother. Strange thing!
All the executioners I have known were intelligent men, possessing a certain degree of conceit. This conceit became developed in them through the contempt which they everywhere met with, and was strengthened, perhaps, by the consciousness of the fear with which they inspired their victims, and of the power over unfortunate wretches.
The theatrical paraphernalia surrounding them developed, perhaps, in them a certain arrogance. I had for some time an opportunity of meeting and observing at close quarters an ordinary executioner. He was a man about forty, muscular, dry, with an agreeable, intelligent face, surrounded by long curly hair. His manners were quiet and grave, his general demeanour becoming. He replied clearly and sensibly to all questions put to him, but with a sort of condescension as if he were in some way my superior. The officers of the guard spoke to him with a certain respect, which he fully appreciated, for which reason, in presence of his chiefs, he became polite, and more dignified than ever.
He never departed from the most refined politeness. I am sure that, when I was speaking to him, he felt incomparably superior to the man who was addressing him. I could read that in his countenance. Sometimes he was sent under escort, in summer, when it was very hot, to kill the dogs of the town with a long, very thin spear. These wandering dogs increased in numbers with such prodigious rapidity, and became so dangerous during the dog days, that, by the decision of the authorities, the executioner was ordered to destroy them. This degrading duty did not in any way humiliate him. It should have been seen with what gravity he walked through the streets of the town, accompanied by a soldier escorting him; how, with a single glance, he frightened the women and children; and how, from the height of his grandeur, he looked down upon the passers-by generally.
Executioners live at their ease. They have money to travel comfortably, and drink vodka. They derive most of their income from presents which the prisoners condemned to be flogged slip into their hands before the execution. When they have to do with convicts who are rich, they then fix a sum to be paid in proportion to the means of the victim. They will exact thirty roubles, sometimes more. The executioner has no right to spare his victim; and he does so at the risk of his own back. But for a suitable present he agrees not to strike too hard. People almost always give what he asks; should they in any case refuse, he would strike like a savage; and it is in his power to do so. He sometimes exacts a heavy sum from a man who is very poor. Then all the relations of the victim are put in movement. They bargain, try and beat him down, supplicate him; but it will not be well if they do not succeed in satisfying him. In such a case the superstitious fear inspired by the executioner stands them in good part. I had been told the most wonderful things—that at one blow the executioner can kill his man.
“Is this your experience?” I asked.
Perhaps so. Who knows? Their tone seemed to decide, if there could be any doubt about it. They also told me that he can strike a criminal in such a way that he will not feel the least pain, and without leaving a scar.
Even when the executioner receives a present not to whip too severely, he gives the first blow with all his strength. It is the custom! Then he administers the other blows with less severity, above all if he has been well paid.
I do not know why this is done. Is it to prepare the victim for the succeeding blows, which will appear less painful after the first cruel one; or do they want to frighten the criminal, so that he may know with whom he has to deal; or do they simply wish to display their vigour from vanity? In any case the executioner is slightly excited before the execution, and he is conscious of his strength and of his power. He is acting at the time; the public admires him, and is filled with terror. Accordingly, it is not without satisfaction that he cries out to his victim, “Look out! you are going to have it!”—customary and fatal words which precede the first blow.
It is difficult to imagine a human being degraded to such a point.
The first day of my stay at the hospital I listened attentively to the stories of the convicts, which broke the monotony of the long days.
In the morning, the doctor’s visit was the first diversion. Then came dinner, which it will be believed was the most important affair of our daily life. The portions were different according to the nature of the illness: some of the prisoners received nothing but broth with groats in it; others nothing but gruel; others a kind of semolina, which was much liked. The convicts ended by becoming effeminate and fastidious. The convalescents received a piece of boiled beef. The best food, which was reserved for the scorbutic patients, consisted of roast beef with onions, horseradish, and sometimes a small glass of spirits. The bread was, according to the illness, black or brown; the precision preserved in distributing the rations would make the patients laugh.
There were some who took absolutely nothing; the portions were exchanged in such a way that the food intended for one patient was eaten by another: those who were being kept on low diet, who received only small rations, bought those of the scorbutic patients; others would give any price for meat. There were some who ate two entire portions; it cost them a good deal, for they were generally sold at five kopecks each. If one had no meat to sell in our room the warder was sent to another section, and if he could not find any there he was asked to get some from the military “infirmary”—the free infirmary, as we called it.
There were always patients ready to sell their rations; poverty was general, and those who possessed a few kopecks used to send out to buy cakes and white bread, or other delicacies, at the market. Warders executed these commissions in a disinterested manner. The most painful moment was that which followed the dinner; some went to sleep, if they had no other way of passing their time; others either wrangled or told stories in a loud voice.
When no new patients were brought in, everything became very dull. The arrival of a new patient caused always a certain excitement, above all, if no one knew anything about him; he was questioned about his past life.
The most interesting ones were the birds of passage: they had always something to tell.
Of course they never spoke of their own little faults. If the prisoner did not enter upon this subject himself, no one questioned him about it.
The only thing he was asked was, what quarter he came from? who were with him on the road? what state the road was in? where he was being taken to? etc. Stimulated by the stories of the new comers, our comrades in their turn began to tell what they had seen and done; what was most talked about was the convoys, those in command of them, the men who carried the sentences into execution.
About this time, too, towards evening, the convicts who had been scourged came up; they always made a rather strong impression, as I have said; but it was not every day that any of these were brought to us, and everybody was bored to extinction, when nothing happened to give a fillip to the general relaxed and indolent state of feeling. It seemed, then, as though the sick themselves were exasperated at the very sight of those near them. Sometimes they squabbled violently.
Our convicts were in high glee when a madman was taken off for medical examination; sometimes those who were sentenced to be scourged, feigned insanity that they might get off. The trick was found out, or it would sometimes be that they voluntarily gave up the pretence. Prisoners, who during two or three days had done all sorts of wild things, suddenly became steady and sensible people, quieted down, and, with a gloomy smile, asked to be taken out of the hospital. Neither the other convicts nor the doctors said a word of remonstrance to them about the deceit, or brought up the subject of their mad pranks. Their names were put down on a list without a word being said, and they were simply taken elsewhere; after the lapse of some days they came back to us with their backs all wounds and blood.
On the other hand, the arrival of a genuine lunatic was a miserable thing to see all through the place. Those of the mentally unsound who were gay, lively, who uttered cries, danced, sang, were greeted at first with enthusiasm by the convicts.
“Here’s fun!” said they, as they looked on the grins and contortions of the unfortunates. But the sight was horribly painful and sad. I have never been able to look upon the mad calmly or with indifference. There was one who was kept three weeks in our room: we would have hidden ourselves, had there been any place to do it. When things were at the worst they brought in another. This one affected me very powerfully.
In the first year, or, to be more exact, during the first month of my exile, I went to work with a gang of kiln men to the tileries situate at two versts from our prison. We were set to repairing the kiln in which the bricks were baked in summer. That morning, in which M—tski and B. made me acquainted with the non-commissioned officer, superintendent of the works. This was a Pole already well on in life, sixty years old at least, of high stature, lean, of decent and even somewhat imposing exterior. He had been a long time in service in Siberia, and although he belonged to the lower orders he had been a soldier, and in the rising of 1830—M—tski and B. loved and esteemed him. He was always reading the Vulgate. I spoke to him; his talk was agreeable and intelligent; he told a story in a most interesting way; he was straightforward and of excellent temper. For two years I never saw him again, all I heard was that he had become a “case,” and that they were inquiring into it; and then one fine day they brought him into our room; he had gone quite mad.
He came in yelling, uttering shouts of laughter, and began to dance in the middle of the room with indecent gestures which recalled the dance known as Kamarinskaïa.
The convicts were wild with enthusiasm; but, for my part, account for it as you will, I felt utterly miserable. Three days after, we were all of us upset with it; he got into violent disputes with everybody, fought, groaned, sang in the dead of the night; his aberrations were so inordinate and disgusting as to bring our very stomachs up.
He feared nobody. They put the strait-waistcoat on him; but we were no whit better off for it, for he went on quarreling and fighting all round. At the end of three weeks, the room put up an unanimous entreaty to the head doctor that he might be removed to the other apartment reserved for the convicts. But after two days, at the request of the sick people in that other room, they brought him back to our infirmary. As we had two madmen there at once, both rooms kept sending them back and forward, and ended by taking one or the other of the two lunatics, turn and turn about. Everybody breathed more freely when they took them away from us, a good way off, somewhere or other.
There was another lunatic whom I remember—a very remarkable creature. They had brought in, during the summer, a man under sentence, who looked like a solid and vigorous fellow enough, of about forty-five years. His face was sombre and sad, pitted with small-pox, with little red and swollen eyes. He sat down by my side. He was extremely quiet; spoke to nobody, and seemed utterly absorbed in his own deep reflections.
Night fell; then he addressed me, and, without a word of preface, told me in a hurried and excited way—as if it were a mighty secret he were confiding—that he was to have two thousand strokes with the rod; but that he had nothing to fear, as the daughter of Colonel G—— was taking steps on his behalf.
I looked at him with surprise, and observed that, as I saw the affair, the daughter of a Colonel could be of little use in such a case. I had not yet guessed what sort of person I had to do with, for they had brought him to the hospital as a bodily sick person, not mentally. I then asked him what illness he was suffering from.
He answered that he knew nothing about it; that he had been sent among us for something or other; but that he was in good health, and that the Colonel’s daughter had fallen in love with him. Two weeks before she had passed in a carriage before the guard-house, where he was looking through the barred window, and she had gone head over ears in love at the mere sight of him.
After that important moment she had come three times to the guard-house on different pretexts. The first time with her father, ostensibly to visit her brother, who was the officer on service; the second with her mother, to distribute alms to the prisoners. As she passed in front of him she had muttered that she loved him and would get him out of prison.
He told me all this nonsense with minute and exact details; all of it pure figment of his poor disordered head. He believed devoutly and implicitly that his punishment would be graciously remitted. He spoke very calmly, and with all assurance of the passionate love he had inspired in this young lady.
This odd and romantic delusion about the love of quite a young girl of good breeding, for a man nearly fifty years and afflicted with a face so disfigured and gloomy, simply showed the fearful effect produced by the fear of the punishment he was to have, upon the poor, timid creature.
It may be that he had really seen some one through the bars of the window, and the insanity, germinating under excess of fear, had found shape and form in the delusion in question.
This unfortunate soldier, who, it may be warranted, had never given a thought to young ladies, had got this romance into his diseased fancy, and clung convulsively to this wild hope. I heard him in silence, and then told the story to the other convicts. When these questioned him in their natural curiosity, he preserved a chastely discreet silence.
Next day the doctor examined him. As the madman averred that he was not ill, he was put down on the list as qualified to be sent out. We learned that the physician had scribbled “Sanat. est” on the page, when it was quite too late to give him warning. Besides, we were ourselves not by any means sure what was really the matter with the man.
The error was with the authorities who had sent him to us, without specifying for what reason it was thought necessary to have him come into the hospital—which was unpardonable negligence.
However, two days later the unhappy creature was taken out to be scourged. We understood that he was dumbfounded by finding, contrary to his fixed expectation, that he really was to have the punishment. To the last moment he thought he would be pardoned, and when conducted to the front of the battalion, he began to cry for help.
As there was no room or bedding-place now in our apartment they sent him to the infirmary. I heard that for eight entire days he did not utter a single word, and remained in stupid and misery-stricken mental confusion. When his back was cured they took him off. I never heard a single further word about him.
As to the treatment of the sick and the remedies prescribed, those who were but slightly indisposed paid no attention whatever to the directions of the doctors, and never took their medicines; while, speaking generally, those really ill were very careful in following the doctor’s orders; they took their mixtures and powders; they took all the possible care they could of themselves; but they preferred external to internal remedies.
Cupping-glasses, leeches, cataplasms, blood-lettings—in all which things the populace has so blind a confidence—were held in high honour in our hospital. Inflictions of that sort were regarded with satisfaction.
There was one thing quite strange, and to me interesting. Fellows, who stood without a murmur the frightful tortures caused by the rods and scourges, howled, and grinned, and moaned for the least little ailment. Whether it was all pretence or not, I really cannot say.
We had cuppings of a quite peculiar kind. The machine with which instantaneous incisions in the skin are produced, was all out of order, so they had to use the lancet.
For a cupping, twelve incisions are necessary; with a machine these are not painful at all, for it makes them instantaneously; with the lancet it is a different affair altogether—that cuts slowly, and makes the patient suffer. If you have to make ten openings there will be about one hundred and twenty pricks, and these very painful. I had to undergo it myself; besides the pain itself, it caused great nervous irritation; but the suffering was not so great that one could not contain himself from groaning if he tried.
It was laughable to see great, hulking fellows wriggling and howling. One couldn’t help comparing them to some men, firm and calm enough in really serious circumstances, but all ill-temper or caprice in the bosom of their families for nothing at all; if dinner is late or the like, then they’ll scold and swear; everything puts them out; they go wrong with everybody; the more comfortable they really are, the more troublesome are they to other people. Characters of this sort, common enough among the lower orders, were but too numerous in our prison, by reason of our company being forced on one another.
Sometimes the prisoners chaffed or insulted the thin-skins I speak of, and then they would leave off complaining directly; as if they only wanted to be insulted to make them hold their tongues.
Oustiantsef was no friend of grimacings of this kind, and never let slip an opportunity of bringing that sort of delinquent to his bearings. Besides, he was fond of scolding; it was a sort of necessity with him, engendered by illness and also his stupidity. He would first fix his gaze upon you for some time, and then treat you to a long speech of threatening and warning, and a tone of calm and impartial conviction. It looked as though he thought his function in this world was to watch over order and morality in general.
“He must poke his nose into everything,” the prisoners with a laugh used to say; for they pitied, and did what they could to avoid conflicts with him.
“Has he chattered enough? Three waggons wouldn’t be too much to carry away all his talk.”
“Why need you put your oar in? One is not going to put himself about for a mere idiot. What’s there to cry out about at a mere touch of a lancet?”
“What harm in the world do you fancy that is going to do you?”
“No, comrades,” a prisoner strikes in, “the cuppings are a mere nothing. I know the taste of them. But the most horrid thing is when they pull your ears for a long time together. That just shuts you up.”
All the prisoners burst out laughing.
“Have you had them pulled?”
“By Jove, yes, I should think he had.”
“That’s why they stick upright, like hop-poles.”
This convict, Chapkin by name, really had long and quite erect ears. He had long led a vagabond life, was still quite young, intelligent, and quiet, and used to talk with a dry sort of humour with much seriousness on the surface, which made his stories very comical.
“How in the world was I to know you had had your ears pulled and lengthened, brainless idiot?” began Oustiantsef, once more wrathfully addressing Chapkin, who, however, vouchsafed no attention to his companion’s obliging apostrophe.
“Well, who did pull your ears for you?” some one asked.
“Why, the police superintendent, by Jove, comrades! Our offence was wandering about without fixed place of abode. We had just got into K——, I and another tramp, Eptinie; he had no family name, that fellow. On the way we had fixed ourselves up a little in the hamlet of Tolmina; yes, there is a hamlet that’s got just that name—Tolmina. Well, we get to the town, and are just looking about us a little to see if there’s a good stroke of tramp-business to do, after which we mean to flit. You know, out in the open country you’re as free as air; but it’s not exactly the same thing in the town. First thing, we go into a public-house; as we open the door we give a sharp look all round. What’s there? A sunburnt fellow in a German coat all out at elbows, walks right up to us. One thing and another comes up, when he says to us:
“‘Pray excuse me for asking if you have any papers [14] with you?’
“‘No, we haven’t.’
“‘Nor have we either. I have two comrades besides these with me who are in the service of General Cuckoo [15]. We have been seeing life a bit, and just now haven’t a penny to bless ourselves with. May I take the liberty of requesting you to be so obliging as to order a quart of brandy?’
“‘With the greatest pleasure,’ that’s what we say to him. So we drink together. Then they tell us of a place where there’s a real good stroke of business to be done—a house at the end of the town belonging to a wealthy merchant fellow; lots of good things there, so we make up our minds to try the job during the night; five of us, and the very moment we are going at it they pounce on us, take us to the station-house, and then before the head of the police. He says, ‘I shall examine them myself.’ Out he goes with his pipe, and they bring in for him a cup of tea; a sturdy fellow it was, with whiskers. Besides us five, there were three other tramps, just brought in. You know, comrades, that there’s nothing in this world more funny than a tramp, because he always forgets everything he’s done. You may thump his head till you’re tired with a cudgel; all the same, you’ll get but one answer, that he has forgotten all about everything.
“The police superintendent then turns to me and asks me squarely,
“‘Who may you be?’
“I answer just like all the rest of them:
“‘I’ve forgotten all about it, your worship.’
“‘Just you wait; I’ve a word or two more to say to you. I know your phiz.’
“Then he gives me a good long stare. But I hadn’t seen him anywhere before, that’s a fact.
“Then he asks another of them, ‘Who are you?’
“‘Mizzle-and-scud, your worship.’
“‘They call you Mizzle-and-scud?’
“‘Precisely that, your worship.’
“‘Well and good, you’re Mizzle-and-scud! And you?’ to a third.
“‘Along-of-him, your worship.’
“‘But what’s your name—your name?’
“‘Me? I’m called Along-of-him, your worship.’
“‘Who gave you that name, hound?’
“‘Very worthy people, your worship. There are lots of worthy people about; nobody knows that better than your worship.’
“‘And who may these “worthy people” be?’
“‘Oh, Lord, it has slipped my memory, your worship. Do be so kind and gracious as to overlook it.’
“‘So you’ve forgotten them, all of them, these “worthy people”?’
“‘Every mother’s son of them, your worship.’
“‘But you must have had relations—a father, a mother. Do you remember them?’
“‘I suppose I must have had, your worship; but I’ve forgotten about ’em, my memory is so bad. Now I come to think about it, I’m sure I had some, your worship.’
“‘But where have you been living till now?’
“‘In the woods, your worship.’
“‘Always in the woods?’
“‘Always in the woods!’
“‘Winter too?’
“‘Never saw any winter, your worship.’
“‘Get along with you! And you—what’s your name?’
“‘Hatchets-and-axes, your worship.’
“‘And yours?’
“‘Sharp-and-mum, your worship.’
“‘And you?’
“‘Keen-and-spry, your worship.’
“‘And not a soul of you remembers anything that ever happened to you.’
“‘Not a mother’s son of us anything whatever.’
“He couldn’t help it; he laughed out loud. All the rest began to laugh at seeing him laugh! But the thing does not always go off like that. Sometimes they lay about them, these police, with their fists, till you get every tooth in your jaw smashed. Devilish big and strong these fellows, I can tell you.
“‘Take them off to the lock-up,’ said he. ‘I’ll see to them in a bit. As for you, stop here!’
“That’s me.
“‘Just you go and sit down there.’
“Where he pointed to there was paper, a pen, and ink; so thinks I, ‘What’s he up to now?’
“‘Sit down,’ he says again; ‘take the pen and write.’
“And then he goes and clutches at my ear and gives it a good pull. I looked at him in the sort of way the devil may look at a priest.
“‘I can’t write, your worship.’
“‘Write, write!’
“‘Have mercy on me, your worship!’
“‘Write your best; write, write!’
“And all the while he keeps pulling my ear, pulling and twisting. Pals, I’d rather have had three hundred strokes of the cat; I tell you it was hell.
“‘Write, write!’ that was all he said.”
“Had the fellow gone mad? What the mischief was it?
“Bless us, no! A little while before, a secretary had done a stroke of business at Tobolsk: he had robbed the local treasury and gone off with the money; he had very big ears, just as I have. They had sent the fact all over the country. I answered to that description; that’s why he tormented me with his ‘Write, write!’ He wanted to find out if I could write, and to see my hand.
“‘A regular sharp chap that! Did it hurt?’
“‘Oh, Lord, don’t say a word about it, I beg.’
“Everybody burst out laughing.
“‘Well, you did write?’
“‘What the deuce was there to write? I set my pen going over the paper, and did it to such good account that he left off torturing me. He just gave me a dozen thumps, regulation allowance, and then let me go about my business: to prison, that is.’
“‘Do you really know how to write?’
“‘Of course I did. What d’ye mean? Used to very well; forgotten the whole blessed thing, though, ever since they began to use pens for it.’”
Thanks to the gossip talk of the convicts who filled the hospital, time was somewhat quickened for us. But still, Almighty God, how wearied and bored we were! Long, long were the days, suffocating in their monotony, one absolutely the same as another. If only I had had a single book.
For all that I went often to the infirmary, especially in the early days of my banishment, either because I was ill or because I needed rest, just to get out of the worse parts of the prison. In those life was indeed made a burden to us, worse even than in the hospital, especially as regards the effect upon moral sentiment and good feeling. We of the nobility were the never-ceasing objects of envious dislike, quarrels picked with us all the time, something done every moment to put us in the wrong, looks filled with menacing hatred unceasingly directed on us! Here, in the sick-rooms, one lived on a sort of footing of equality, there was something of comradeship.
The most melancholy moment of the twenty-four hours was evening, when night set in. We went to bed very early. A smoky lamp just gave us one point of light at the very end of the room, near the door. In our corner we were almost in complete darkness. The air was pestilential, stifling. Some of the sick people could not get to sleep, would rise up, and remain sitting for an hour together on their beds, with their heads bent, as though they were in deep reflection. These I would look at steadily, trying to guess what they might be thinking of; thus I tried to kill time. Then I became lost in my own reveries; the past came up to me again, showing itself to my imagination in large powerful outlines filled with high lights and massive shadows, details that at any other time would have remained in oblivion, presented themselves in vivid force, making on me an impression impossible under any other circumstances.
Then I would begin to muse dreamily on the future. When shall I leave this place of restraint, this dreadful prison? Whither betake myself? What will then befall me? Shall I return to the place of my birth? So I brood, and brood, until hope lives once again in my soul.
Another time I would begin to count, one, two, three, etc., to see if sleep could be won that way. I would set sometimes as far as three thousand, and was as wakeful as ever. Then somebody would turn in his bed.
Then there’s Oustiantsef coughing, that cough of the hopelessly-gone consumptive, and then he would groan feebly, and stammer, “My God, I’ve sinned, I’ve sinned!”
How frightful it was, that voice of the sick man, that broken, dying voice, in the midst of that silence so dead and complete! In a corner there are some sick people not yet asleep, talking in a low voice, stretched on their pallets. One of them is telling the story of his life, all about things infinitely far off; things that have fled for ever; he is talking of his trampings through the world, of his children, his wife, the old ways of his life. And the very accent of the man’s voice tells you that all those things are for ever over for him, that he is as a limb cut off from the world of men, cut off, thrown aside; there is another, listening intently to what he is saying. A weak, feeble sort of muttering and murmuring comes to one’s ear from far-off in the dreary room, a sound as of far-off water flowing somewhere.... I remember that one time, during a winter night that seemed as if it would never end, I heard a story which at first seemed as if it were the stammerings of a creature in nightmare, or the delirium of fever. Here it is:

---

CHAPTER IV. THE HUSBAND OF AKOULKA

It was late at night, about eleven o’clock. I had been sleeping some time and woke up with a start. The wan and weak light of the distant lamp barely lit the room. Nearly everybody was fast asleep, even Oustiantsef; in the quiet of the night I heard his difficult breathing, and the rattlings in his throat with every respiration. In the ante-chamber sounded the heavy and distant footsteps of the patrol as the men came up. The butt of a gun struck the floor with its low and heavy sound.
The door of the room was opened, and the corporal counted the sick, stepping softly about the place. After a minute or so he closed the door again, leaving a fresh sentinel there; the patrol went off, silence reigned again. It was only then that I observed two prisoners, not far from me, who were not sleeping, and who seemed to be holding a muttered conversation. Sometimes, in fact, it would happen that a couple of sick people, whose beds adjoined and who had not exchanged a word for weeks, would all of a sudden break out into conversation with one another, in the middle of the night, and one of them would tell the other his history.
Probably they had been speaking for some considerable time. I did not hear the beginning of it, and could not at first seize upon their words, but little by little I got familiar with the muttered sounds, and understood all that was going on. I had not the least desire for sleep on me, so what could I do but listen.
One of them was telling his story with some warmth, half-lying on his bed, with his head lifted and stretched towards his companion. He was plainly excited to no little degree; the necessity of speech was on him.
The man listening was sitting up on his pallet, with a gloomy and indifferent air, his legs stretched out flat on the mattress, and now and again murmured some words in reply, more out of politeness than interest, and kept stuffing his nose with snuff from a horn box. This was the soldier Techérévin, one of the company of discipline; a morose, cold-reasoning pedant, an idiot full of amour propre; while the narrator was Chichkof, about thirty years old; this was a civilian convict, whom up to that time I had not at all observed; and during the whole time I was at the prison I never could get up the smallest interest in him, for he was a conceited, heady fellow.
Sometimes he would hold his tongue for weeks together, and look sulky and brutal enough for anything; then all of a sudden he would strike into anything that was going on, behave insufferably, go into a white heat about nothing at all, and tell you long stories with nothing in them whatever about one barrack or another, blowing abuse on all the world, and acting like a man beside himself. Then some one would give him a hiding, and he would have another fit of silence. He was a mean and cowardly fellow, and the object of general contempt. His stature was low, he had little flesh on him, he had wandering eyes, though they sometimes got mixed and seemed filled with a stupid sort of thinking. When he told you anything he worked himself into a fever, gesticulated wildly, suddenly broke off and went to another subject, lost himself in fresh details, and at last forgot altogether what he was talking about. He often got into squabbles, this Chichkof, and when he poured insult on his adversary, he spoke with a sentimental whine and was affected nearly to tears. He was not a bad hand at playing the balalaika, and had a weakness for it; on fête days he would show you his dancing powers when others set him at it, and he danced by no means badly. You could easily enough make him do what you wanted ... not that he was of a complying turn, but he liked to please and to get intimate with fellows.
For some considerable time I couldn’t understand the story Chichkoff was telling; that night I mean. It seemed to me as though he were constantly rambling from the point to talk of something else. Perhaps he had observed that Tchérévine was paying little attention to the narrative, but I fancy that he was minded to overlook this indifference, so as not to take offence.
“When he went out on business,” he continued, “every one saluted him politely, paid him every respect ... a fellow with money that.”
“You say that he was in some trade or other.”
“Yes; trade indeed! The trading class in my country is wretchedly ill-off; just poverty-stricken. The women go to the river and fetch water from ever such a distance to water their gardens. They wear themselves to the very bone, and, for all that, when winter comes, they haven’t got enough to make a mere cabbage soup. I tell you it’s starvation. But that fellow had a good lump of land, which his labourers cultivated; he had three. Then he had hives, and sold his honey; he was a cattle-dealer too; a much respected man in our parts. He was very old and quite gray, his seventy years lay heavy on his old bones. When he came to the market-place with his fox-skin pelisse, everybody saluted him.
“‘Good-day, daddy Aukoudim Trophimtych!’
“‘Good-day,’ he’d return.
“‘How are you getting along;’ he never looked down on any one.
“‘God keep you, Aukoudim Trophimtych!’
“‘How goes business with you?’
“‘Business is as good as tallow’s white with me; and how’s yours, daddy?’
“‘We’ve just got enough of a livelihood to pay the price of sin; always sweating over our bit of land.’
“‘Lord preserve you, Aukoudim Trophimtych!’
“He never looked down on anybody. All his advice was always worth having; every one of his words was worth a rouble. A great reader he was, quite a man of learning; but he stuck to religious books. He would call his old wife and say to her, ‘Listen, woman, take well in what I say;’ then he would explain things. His old Marie Stépanovna was not exactly an old woman, if you please; it was his second wife; he had married her to have children, his first wife had not brought him any. He had two boys still quite young, for the second of them was born when his father was close on sixty; Akoulka, his daughter, was eighteen years old, she was the eldest.”
“Your wife? Isn’t it so?”
“Wait a bit, wait. Then Philka Marosof begins to kick up a row. Says he to Aukoudim: ‘Let’s split the difference. Give me back my four hundred roubles. I’m not your beast of burden; I don’t want to do any more business with you, and I don’t want to marry your Akoulka. I want to have my fling now that my parents are dead. I’ll liquor away my money, then I’ll engage myself, ’list for a soldier; and in ten years I’ll come back here a field-marshal!’ Aukoudim gave him back his money—all he had of his. You see he and Philka’s father had both put in money and done business together.
“‘You’re a lost man,’ that’s what he said to Philka.
“‘Whether I’m a lost man or not, old gray-beard, you’re the biggest cheat I know. You’d try to screw a fortune out of four farthings, and pick up all the dirt about to do it with. I spit upon it. There you are piling up here, digging deep there, the devil only knows why. I’ve got a will of my own, I tell you. All the same I won’t take your Akoulka; I’ve slept with her already.’
“‘How dare you insult a respectable father—a respectable girl? When did you sleep with her, you spawn of the sucker, you dog, you hound, you——?’ said Aukoudim shaking with passion. (Philka told us all this later).
“‘I’ll not only not marry your daughter, but I’ll take good care that nobody marries her, not even Mikita Grigoritch, for she’s a disreputable girl. We had a fine time together, she and I, all last autumn. I don’t want her at any price. All the money in the world wouldn’t make me take her.’
“Then the fellow went and had high jinks for a while. All the town was as one man in sending up a cry against him. He got a lot of other fellows round him, for he had a heap of money. Three months he had of it. Such recklessness as you never heard of. Every penny went.
“‘I want to see the end of this money. I’ll sell the house; everything; then I’ll ’list or go on the tramp.’
“He was drunk from morning to evening, and went about with a carriage and pair.
“The girls liked him well, I tell you, for he played the guitar very nicely.”
“Then it is true that he had been too well with this Akoulka?”
“Wait, wait, can’t you? I had just buried my father. My mother lived by baking gingerbread. We got our livelihood by working for Aukoudim; barely enough to eat, a precious hard life it was. We had a bit of land the other side of the woods, and grew corn there; but when my father died I went on a spree. I made my mother give me money; but I had to give her a good hiding first.”
“You were very wrong to beat her; a great sin that?”
“Sometimes I was drunk the whole blessed day. We had a house that was just tumbling to pieces with dry rot, still it was our own; we were as near famished as could be; for weeks together we had nothing but rags to chew. Mother nearly killed me with one stupid trick or another, but I didn’t care a curse. Philka Marosof and I were always together day and night. ‘Play the guitar to me,’ he’d say, ‘and I’ll lie in bed the while. I’ll throw money to you, for I’m the richest chap in the world!’ The fellow could not speak without lying. There was only one thing. He wouldn’t touch a thing if it had been stolen. ‘I’m no thief, I’m an honest man. Let’s go and daub Akoulka’s door with pitch [16], for I won’t have her marry Mikita Grigoritch, I’ll stick to that.’
“The old man had long meant to give his daughter to this Mikita Grigoritch. He was a man well on in life, in trade too, and wore spectacles. When he heard the story of Akoulka’s bad conduct, he said to the old father, ‘That would be a terrible disgrace for me, Aukoudim Trophimtych; on the whole, I’ve made up my mind not to marry; it’s to late.’
“So we went and daubed Akoulka’s door all over with pitch. When we’d done that her folks beat her so that they nearly killed her.
“Her mother, Marie Stépanovna, cried, ‘I shall die of it,’ while the old man said, ‘If we were in the days of the patriarchs, I’d have hacked her to pieces on a block. But now everything is rottenness and corruption in this world.’ Sometimes the neighbours from one end of the street to the other heard Akoulka’s screams. She was whipped from morning to evening, and Philka would cry out in the market-place before everybody:
“Akoulka’s a jolly girl to get drunk with. I’ve given it those people between the eyes, they won’t forget me in a hurry.’
“Well, one day, I met Akoulka, she was going for water with her bucket, so I cried out to her: ‘A fine morning, pet Akoulka Koudimovna! you’re the girl who knows how to please fellows. Who’s living with you now, and where do you get your money for your finery?’ That’s just what I said to her; she opened her eyes as wide as you please. No more flesh on her than on a log of wood. She had only just given me a look, but her mother thought she was larking with me, and cried from her door-step, ‘Impudent hussy, what do you mean by talking with that fellow?’ And from that moment they began to beat her again. Sometimes they hided her for an hour together. The mother said, ‘I give her the whip because she isn’t my daughter any more.’”
“She was then as bad as they said?”
“Now you just listen to my story, nunky, will you? Well, we used to get drunk all the time with Philka. One day when I was abed, mother comes and says:
“‘What d’ye mean by lying in bed, you hound, you thief!’ She abused me for some time, then she said, ‘Marry Akoulka. They’ll be glad to give her to you, and they’ll give three hundred roubles with her.’
“‘But,’ says I, ‘all the world knows that she’s a bad girl——’
“‘Hist, the marriage ceremony cures all that; besides, she’ll always be in fear of her life from you, so you’ll be in clover together. Their money would make us comfortable; I’ve spoken about the marriage already to Marie Stépanovna, we’re of one mind about it.’
“So I say, ‘Let’s have twenty roubles down on the spot, and I’ll have her.’
“Well, you needn’t believe it unless you please, but I was drunk right up to the wedding-day. Then Philka Marosof kept threatening me all the time.
“‘I’ll break every bone in your body, a nice fellow you to be engaged, and to Akoulka; if I like I’ll sleep every blessed night with her when she’s your wife.’
“‘You’re a hound, and a liar,’ that’s what I said to him. But he insulted me so in the street, before everybody, that I ran to Aukoudim’s and said, ‘I won’t marry her unless I have fifty roubles down this moment.’”
“And they really did give her to you in marriage?”
“Me? Why not, I should like to know? We were respectable people enough. Father had been ruined by a fire a little before he died; he had been a richer man than Aukoudim Trophimtych.
“‘A fellow without a shirt to his back like you ought to be only too happy to marry my daughter;’ that’s what old Aukoudim said.
“‘Just you think of your door, and the pitch that went on it,’ I said to him.
“‘Stuff and nonsense,’ said he, ‘there’s no proof whatever that the girl’s gone wrong.’
“‘Please yourself. There’s the door, and you can go about your business; but give back the money you’ve had!’
“Then Philka Marosof and I settled it together to send Mitri Bykoff to Father Aukoudim to tell him that we’d insult him to his face before everybody. Well, I had my skin as full as it could hold right up to the wedding-day. I wasn’t sober till I got into the church. When they took us home after church the girl’s uncle, Mitrophone Stépanytch, said:
“‘This isn’t a nice business; but it’s over and done now.’
“Old Aukoudim was sitting there crying, the tears rolled down on his gray beard. Comrade, I’ll tell you what I had done: I had put a whip into my pocket before we went to church, and I’d made up my mind to have it out of her with that, so that all the world might know how I’d been swindled into the marriage, and not think me a bigger fool than I am.”
“I see, and you wanted her to know what was in store for her. Ah, was——?”
“Quiet, nunky, quiet! Among our people I’ll tell you how it is; directly after the marriage ceremony they take the couple to a room apart, and the others remain drinking till they return. So I’m left alone with Akoulka; she was pale, not a bit of colour on her cheeks; frightened out of her wits. She had fine hair, supple and bright as flax, and great big eyes. She scarcely ever was known to speak; you might have thought she was dumb; an odd creature, Akoulka, if ever there was one. Well, you can just imagine the scene. My whip was ready on the bed. Well, she was as pure a girl as ever was, not a word of it all was true.”
“Impossible!”
“True, I swear; as good a girl as any good family might wish.”
“Then, brother, why—why—why had she had to undergo all that torture? Why had Philka Marosof slandered her so?”
“Yes, why, indeed?”
“Well, I got down from the bed, and went on my knees before her, and put my hands together as if I were praying, and just said to her, ‘Little mother, pet, Akoulka Koudimovna, forgive me for having been such an idiot as to believe all that slander; forgive me. I’m a hound!’
“She was seated on the bed, and gazed at me fixedly. She put her two hands on my shoulders and began to laugh; but the tears were running all down her cheeks. She sobbed and laughed all at once.
“Then I went out and said to the people in the other room, ‘Let Philka Marosof look to himself. If I come across him he won’t be long for this world.’
“The old people were beside themselves with delight. Akoulka’s mother was ready to throw herself at her daughter’s feet, and sobbed.
“Then the old man said, ‘If we had known really how it was, my dearest child, we wouldn’t have given you a husband of that sort.’
“You ought to have seen how we were dressed the first Sunday after our marriage—when we left church! I’d got a long coat of fine cloth, a fur cap, with plush breeches. She had a pelisse of hareskin, quite new, and a silk kerchief on her head. One was as fine as the other. Everybody admired us. I must say I looked well, and pet Akoulka did too. One oughtn’t to boast, but one oughtn’t to sing small. I tell you people like us are not turned out by the dozen.”
“Not a doubt about it.”
“Just you listen, I tell you. The day after my marriage I ran off from my guests, drunk as I was, and went about the streets crying, ‘Where’s that scoundrel of a Philka Marosof? Just let him come near me, the hound, that’s all!’ I went all over the market-place yelling that out. I was as drunk as a man could be, and stand.
“They went after me and caught me close to Vlassof’s place. It took three men to get me back again to the house.
“Well, nothing else was spoken about all over the village. The girls said, when they met in the market-place, ‘Well, you’ve heard the news—Akoulka was all right!’
“A little while after I do come across Philka Marosof, who said to me before everybody, strangers to the place, too, ‘Sell your wife, and spend the money on drink. Jackka the soldier only married for that; he didn’t sleep one night with his wife; but he got enough to keep his skin full for three years.’
“I answered him, ‘Hound!’
“‘But,’ says he, ‘you’re an idiot! You didn’t know what you were about when you married—you were drunk. How could you tell all about it?’
“So off I went to the house, and cried out to them ‘You married me when I was drunk.’
“Akoulka’s mother tried to fasten herself on me; but I cried, ‘Mother, you don’t know about anything but money. You bring me Akoulka!’
“And didn’t I beat her! I tell you I beat her for two hours running, till I rolled on the floor myself with fatigue. She couldn’t leave her bed for three weeks.”
“It’s a dead sure thing,” said Tchérévine phlegmatically; “if you don’t beat them they—— Did you find her with her lover?”
“No; to tell the truth, I never actually caught her,” said Chichkoff after a pause, speaking with effort; “but I was hurt, a good deal hurt, for every one made fun of me. The cause of it all was Philka. ‘Your wife is just made for everybody to look at,’ said he.
“One day he invited us to see him, and then he went at it. ‘Do just look what a good little wife he has! Isn’t she tender, fine, nicely brought up, affectionate, full of kindness for all the world? I say, my lad, have you forgotten how we daubed their door with pitch?’ I was full at that moment, drunk as may be; then he seized me by the hair and had me down upon the ground before I knew where I was. ‘Come along—dance; aren’t you Akoulka’s husband? I’ll hold your hair for you, and you shall dance; it will be good fun.’ ‘Dog!’ said I to him. ‘I’ll bring some jolly fellows to your house,’ said he, ‘and I’ll whip your Akoulka before your very eyes just as long as I please.’ Would you believe it? For a whole month I daren’t go out of the house, I was so afraid he’d come to us and drag my wife through the dirt. And how I did beat her for it!”
“What was the use of beating her? You can tie a woman’s hands, but not her tongue. You oughtn’t to give them a hiding too often. Beat ’em a bit, then scold ’em well, then fondle ’em; that’s what a woman is made for.”
Chichkoff remained quite silent for a few moments.
“I was very much hurt,” he went on; “I began it again just as before. I beat her from morning till night for nothing; because she didn’t get up from her seat the way I liked; because she didn’t walk to suit me. When I wasn’t hiding her, time hung heavy on my hands. Sometimes she sat by the window crying silently—it hurt my feelings sometimes to see her cry, but I beat her all the same. Sometimes her mother abused me for it: ‘You’re a scoundrel, a gallows-bird!’ ‘Don’t say a word or I’ll kill you; you made me marry her when I was drunk, you swindled me.’ Old Aukoudim wanted at first to have his finger in the pie. Said he to me one day: ‘Look here, you’re not such a tremendous fellow that one can’t put you down;’ but he didn’t get far on that track. Marie Stépanovna had become as sweet as milk. One day she came to me crying her eyes out and said: ‘My heart is almost broken, Ivan Semionytch; what I’m going to ask of you is a little thing for you, but it is a good deal to me; let her go, let her leave you, daddy Ivan.’ Then she throws herself at my feet. ‘Do give up being so angry! Wicked people slander her; you know quite well she was good when you married her.’ Then she threw herself at my feet again and cried. But I was as hard as nails. ‘I won’t hear a word you have to say; what I choose to do, I do, to you or anybody, for I’m crazed with it all. As to Philka Marosof, he’s my best and dearest friend.’”
“You’d begun to play your pranks together again, you and he?”
“No, by Jove! He was out of the way by this time; he was killing himself with drink, nothing less. He had spent all he had on drink, and had ’listed for a soldier, as substitute for a citizen body in the town. In our parts, when a lad makes up his mind to be substitute for another, he is master of that house and everybody there till he’s called to the ranks. He gets the sum agreed on the day he goes off, but up to then he lives in the house of the man who buys him, sometimes six whole months, and there isn’t a horror in the whole world those fellows are not guilty of. It’s enough to make folks take the holy images out of the house. From the moment he consents to be substitute for the son of the family then he considers himself their patron and benefactor, and makes them dance as he pipes, or else he goes off the bargain.
“So Philka Marosof played the very mischief at the home of this townsman. He slept with the daughter, pulled the master of the house by the beard after dinner, did anything that came into his head. They had to heat the bath for him every day, and, what’s more, give him brandy fumes with the steam of the bath: and he would have the women lead him by the arms to the bath room [17].
“When he came back to the man’s house after a revel elsewhere, he would stop right in the middle of the road and cry out:
“‘I won’t go in by the door; pull down the fence!’
“And they actually had to pull down the fence, though there was the door right at it to let him in. That all came to an end though, the day they took him to the regiment. That day he was sobered sufficiently. The crowd gathered all through the street.
“‘They’re taking off Philka Marosof!’
“He made a salute on all sides, right and left. Just at that moment Akoulka was returning from the kitchen-garden. Directly Philka saw her he cried out to her:
“‘Stop!’ and down he jumped from the cart and threw himself down at her feet.
“‘My soul, my sweet little strawberry, I’ve loved you two years long. Now they’re taking me off to the regiment with the band playing. Forgive me, good honest girl of a good honest father, for I’m nothing but a hound, and all you’ve gone through is my fault.’
“Then he flings himself down before her a second time. At first Akoulka was exceedingly frightened; but she made him a great bow, which nearly bent her double.
“‘Forgive me, too, my good lad; but I am really not at all angry with you.’
“As she went into the house I was at her heels.
“‘What did you say to him, you she-devil, you?’
“Now you may believe it or not as you like, but she looked at me as bold as you please, and answered:
“‘I love him better than anything or anybody in this world.’
“‘I say!’
“That day I didn’t utter one single word. Only towards evening I said to her: ‘Akoulka, I’m going to kill you now.’ I didn’t close an eye the whole night. I went into the little room leading to ours and drank kwass. At daybreak I went into the house again. ‘Akoulka, get ready and come into the fields.’ I had arranged to go there before; my wife knew it.
“‘You are right,’ said she. ‘It’s quite time to begin reaping. I’ve heard that our labourer is ill and doesn’t work a bit.’
“I put to the cart without saying a word. As you go out of the town there’s a forest fifteen versts in length. At the end of it is our field. When we had gone about three versts through the wood I stopped the horse.
“‘Come, get up, Akoulka; your end is come.’
“She looked at me all in a fright, and got up without a word.
“‘You’ve tormented me enough. Say your prayers.’
“I seized her by the hair—she had long, thick tresses—I rolled them round my arm. I held her between my knees; took out my knife; threw her head back, and cut her throat. She screamed; the blood spurted out. Then I threw away my knife. I pressed her with all my might in my arms. I put her on the ground and embraced her, yelling with all my might. She screamed; I yelled; she struggled and struggled. The blood—her blood—splashed my face, my hands. It was stronger than I was—stronger. Then I took fright. I left her—left my horse and began to run; ran back to the house.
“I went in the back way, and hid myself in the old ramshackle bath-house, which we never used now. I lay myself down under the seat, and remained hid till the dead of the night.”
“And Akoulka?”
“She got up to come back to the house; they found her later, a hundred steps from the place.”
“So you hadn’t finished her?”
“No.” Chichkoff stopped a while.
“Yes,” said Tchérévine, “there’s a vein; if you don’t cut it at the first the man will go on struggling; the blood may flow fast enough, but he won’t die.”
“But she was dead all the same. They found her in the evening, and she was cold. They told the police, and hunted me up. They found me in the night in the old bath.
“And there you have it. I’ve been four years here already,” added he, after a pause.
“Yes, if you don’t beat ’em you make no way at all,” said Tchérévine sententiously, taking out his snuff-box once more. He took his pinches very slowly, with long pauses. “For all that, my lad, you behaved like a fool. Why, I myself—I came upon my wife with a lover. I made her come into the shed, and then I doubled up a halter and said to her:
“‘To whom did you swear to be faithful?—to whom did you swear it in church? Tell me that?’
“And then I gave it her with my halter—beat her and beat her for an hour and a half; till at last she was quite spent, and cried out:
“‘I’ll wash your feet and drink the water afterwards.’
“Her name was Crodotia.”

---

CHAPTER V. THE SUMMER SEASON

April has come; Holy Week is not far off. We set about our summer tasks. The sun becomes hotter and more brilliant every day; the atmosphere has the spring in it, and acts upon our nervous system powerfully. The convict, in his chains, feels the trembling influence of the lovely days like any other creature; they rouse desires in him, inexpressible longings for his home, and many other things. I think that he misses his liberty, yearns for freedom more when the day is filled with sunlight than during the rainy and melancholy days of autumn and winter. You may observe this positively among convicts; if they do feel a little joy on a beautiful clear day, they have a reaction into greater impatience and irritability.
I noticed that in spring there was much more squabbling in our prison; there was more noise, the yelling was greater, there were more fights; during the working hours we would see a man sometimes fixed in a meditative gaze, which seemed lost in the blue distance somewhere, the other side of the Irtych, where stretched the boundless plain, with its flight of hundreds of versts, the free Kirghiz Steppe. Long-drawn sighs came to one’s ear, sighs breathed from the depths of the chest; it might seem that the air of those wide and free regions, haunted by their thought, forced the convicts to draw deep respirations, and was a sort of solace to their crushed and fettered souls.
“Ah!” cries at last the poor prisoner all at once, with a long, sighing cry; then he seizes his pick furiously, or picks up the bricks, which he has to carry from one place to another. But after a brief minute he seems to forget the passing impression, and begins laughing, or insulting people near, so fitful is his humour; then he attacks the work he has to do with unusual fire, labours with might and main, as if trying to stifle by fatigue the grief that has him by the throat. You see they are fellows of unimpaired vigour, all in the very flower of life, with all their physical and other strength about them.
How heavy the irons are during this season! All this is not sentimentality, it is the report of rigorous observation. During the hot season, under a fiery sun, when all one’s being, all one’s soul, is vividly conscious of, and intimately feels, the unspeakably strong resurrection of nature going on everywhere, it is more difficult to support the confinement, the perpetual surveillance, the tyranny of a will other than one’s own.
Besides this, it is in spring with the first song of the lark that throughout all Siberia and Russia men set out on the tramp; God’s creatures, if they can, break their prison and escape into the woods. After the stifling ditch where they work, after the boats, the irons, the rods and whips, they go vagabondizing where they please, wherever they can make it out best; they eat and drink what they can get, ’tis all the time pot-luck with them; and by night they sleep undisturbed in the woods or in a field, without a care, without the agony of knowing themselves in prison, as if they were God’s own birds; their “good-night” is said to the stars, and the eye that watches them is the eye of God. Not altogether a rosy life, by any means; sometimes hunger and fatigue are heavy on them “in the service of General Cuckoo.” Often enough the wanderers have not a morsel of bread to keep their teeth going for days and days. They have to hide from everybody, run to earth like marmots; sometimes they are driven to robbery, pillage—nay, even murder.
“Send a man there and he becomes a child, and just throws himself on all he sees”; that is what people say of those transported to Siberia. This saying may be applied even more fitly to the tramps. They are almost all brigands and thieves, by necessity rather than inclination. Many of them are hardened to the life, irreclaimable; there are convicts who go off after having served their time, even after they have been put on some land as their own. They ought to be happy in their new state, with their daily bread assured them. Well, it is not so; an irresistible impulse sends them wandering off.
This life in the woods, wretched and fearful as it is, but still free and adventurous, has a mysterious seduction for those who have experienced it; among these fugitives you may find to your surprise, people of good habit of mind, peaceable temper, who had shown every promise of becoming settled creatures—good tillers of the land. A convict will marry, have children, live for five years in the same place, then all of a sudden he will disappear one fine morning, abandoning wife and children, to the stupefaction of his family and the whole neighbourhood.
One day, I was shown at the convict establishment one of these deserters of the family hearthstone. He had committed no crime—at least, he was under suspicion of none—but all through his life he had been a deserter, a deserter from every post. He had been to the southern frontier of the empire, the other side of the Danube, in the Kirghiz Steppe, in Eastern Siberia, the Caucasus, in a word, everywhere. Who knows? under other conditions this man might have been a Robinson Crusoe, with the passion of travel so on him. These details I have from other convicts, for he did not like talk, and never opened his mouth except when absolutely necessary. He was a peasant, of quite small size, of some fifty years, very quiet in demeanour, with a face so still as to seem quite without any sort of meaning, impassive almost to idiocy. His delight was to sit for hours in the sun humming a sort of song between his teeth so softly, that five steps off he was inaudible. His features were, so to speak, petrified; he ate little, principally black bread; he never bought white bread or spirits; my belief is, he never had had any money, and that he couldn’t have counted it if he had. He was indifferent to everything. Sometimes he fed the prison dogs with his own hand, a thing no one else was known to do; (speaking generally, Russians don’t like giving dogs things to eat from the hand). People said that he had been married, twice even, and that he had children somewhere. Why he had been sent as a convict, I have not the least idea. We fellows were always fancying that he would escape; but his hour did not come, or perhaps had come and gone; anyhow, he went through with his punishment without resistance. He seemed an element quite foreign to the medium wherein he had his being, an alien, self-concentrated creature. Still, there was nothing in this deep surface calm which could be trusted; yet, after all, what good would it have been to him to escape from the place?
Compared with life at the convict prison, the vagabond age of the forests is as the joys of Paradise. The tramp’s lot is wretched enough, but at least free. So it is that every prisoner all over the soil of Russia, becomes restless with the first rays of the smiling spring.
Comparatively few form any settled plan for flight, they fear the hindrances in the way and the punishment that may ensue; only one in a hundred, not more, make up his mind to it, but how to do it is a thought that never ceases to haunt the minds of the ninety-nine others. Filled as they are with this longing, anything that looks like giving a chance of success is a comfort to them; then they set about comparing the facts with cases of successful escape. I speak only of prisoners after and under sentence, for prisoners not yet tried and condemned, are much more ready to try at an escape. And those who have been sentenced, rarely get away unless they attempt it in early days. When they have spent two or three years of their time, they put them to a sort of credit-account in their minds, and conclude that it is better to finish with the law and be put on land as a free man, rather than forfeit that time if they fail in escaping, which is always a possibility. Certainly not more than one convict in ten succeeds in changing his lot. Those who do, are nearly always men sentenced to an extremely long punishment, or for life. Fifteen, twenty years seem like an eternity to them. Then there is the branding, which is a great difficulty in the way of complete escape.
Changing your lot is a technical expression. When a convict is caught trying to escape, he is subjected to formal interrogatory, and will say he wanted to change his lot. This somewhat literary formula exactly represents the act in question. No escaped prisoner ever hopes to become a perfectly free man, for he knows that it is nearly impossible; what he looks for is to be sent to some other convict establishment, or to be put on the land, or to be tried again for some offence committed when on the tramp; in a word, to be sent anywhere else, it matters not where, so that he get out of his present prison which has become insufferable to him. All these fugitives, unless they find some unexpected shelter for the winter, unless they meet some one interested in concealing them, or if—last resort—they cannot procure—and sometimes a murder does it—the legal document, which enables them to go about unmolested everywhere; all these fugitives present themselves in crowds, during the autumn, in the towns and at the prisons; they confess themselves to be escaped tramps, pass the winter in jail, and live in the secret hope of getting away the following summer.
On me, as well as others, the spring exercised its influence. Well do I remember the avidity with which my gaze fed upon the horizon through the gaps in the palisades; long, long did I stand with my head glued to the pickets, obstinately and insatiably gazing on the grass greening in the ditch surrounding the fortress, and at the blue of the distant sky as it grew denser and denser. My anguish, my melancholy, were heavier on me; as each day wore away the jail became odious, detestable. Hatred for me, as a man of the nobility, filled the hearts of the convicts during these first years, and this feeling of theirs simply poisoned my life for me. Often did I ask to be sent to the hospital, when there was no need of it, merely to be out of the punishment part of the place, to feel myself out of the range of this unrelenting and implacable hostility.
“You nobles have beaks of iron, and you tore us to pieces with your beaks when we were serfs,” is what the convicts used to say to us. How I envied the people of the lower class who came into the place as prisoners! It was different with them, they were in comradeship with all there from the very first moment. So was it that in the spring, Freedom showing herself as a sort of phantom of the season, the joy diffused throughout all Nature, translated themselves within my soul into a more than doubled melancholy and nervous irritability.
As the sixth week of Lent came I had to go through my religious exercises, for the convicts were divided by the sub-superintendent into seven sections—answering to the weeks in Lent—and these had to attend to their devotions according to this roster. Each section was composed of about thirty men. This week was a great solace to me; we went two or three times a day to the church, which was close to the prison. I had not been in church for a long time. The Lenten services, familiar to me from early childhood in my father’s house, the solemn prayers, the prostrations—all stirred in me the fibres of the memory of things long, long past, and woke my earliest impressions to fresh life. Well do I remember how happy I was when at morn we went into God’s house, treading the ground which had frozen in the night, under the escort of soldiers with loaded guns; the escort remained outside the church.
Once within we were massed close to the door so that we could scarcely hear anything except the deep voice of the ministering deacon; now and again we caught a glimpse of a black chasuble or the bare head of the priest. Then it came into my mind how, when a child, I used to look at the common people who formed a compact mass at the door, and how they would step back in a servile way before some important epauletted fellow, or some nobleman with a big paunch, some lady splendidly dressed and of high devotion who, in a hurry to get at the front benches, and ready for a row if there was any difficulty as to their being honoured with the best of places. As it seemed to me then, it was only there, near the church door, not far from the entry, that prayer was put up with genuine fervour and humility, only there that, when people did prostrate themselves on the floor it was done with real abasement of self and full sense of unworthiness.
And now I myself was in that place of the common people, no, not in their place, for we who were there were in chains and degradation. Everybody kept himself at a distance from us. We were feared, and alms were put in our hands as if we were beggars; I remember that all this gave me the strange sensation of a refined and subtle pleasure. “Let it even be so!” such was my thought. The convicts prayed with deep fervour; every one of them had with him his poor farthing for a little candle, or for their collection for the church expenses. “I too, I am a man,” each one of them perhaps said, as he made his offering; “before God we are all equal.”
After the six o’clock mass we went up to communion. When the priest, ciforium in hand, recited the words, “Have mercy on me as Thou hadst on the thief whom Thou didst save,” nearly all the convicts prostrated themselves, and their chains clanked; I think they took these words literally as applied to themselves, and not as being in Scripture.
Holy Week came. The authorities presented each of us with an Easter egg, and a small piece of wheaten bread. The townspeople loaded us with benevolences. As at Christmas there was the priest’s visitation with the cross, inspecting visit of the heads of departments, larded cabbage, general enlargement of soul, and unlimited lounging, the only difference being, that one could now walk about in the court-yard, and warm oneself in the sun. Everything seemed filled with more light, larger than in the winter, but also more fraught with sadness. The long, endless, summer days seemed peculiarly unbearable on Church holidays. Work days were at least shortened to our sense by the fatigue of work.
Our summer labours were much more trying than the winter tasks; our business was principally that of carrying out engineering works. The convicts were set to building, digging, bricklaying, or repairing Government buildings, locksmith’s work, or carpentering, or painting. Others went into the brick-fields, and that was looked upon by us as the hardest of all we had laid on us. The brick-fields were situated about four versts from the fortress; through all the summer they sent there, every morning at six o’clock, a gang of fifty convicts. For this gang they used to pick out workmen who had learned no trade in particular. The convicts took with them their bread for the day, the distance was too great for them to come back, eight useless versts, for dinner with the others, so they had a meal when they returned in the evening.
Work was assigned to each for the day, but there was so much of it that it was all a man could do, nay, more, to get to the end of it. First, we had to dig and carry the clay, moisten it, and mould it in the ditch, and then make a goodly quantity of bricks, two hundred or so, sometimes fifty more than that. I was only twice sent to the brick-field. The convicts sent to this labour came back in the evening dead tired, and every one of them complained of the others, that he had had the worst of the work put on him. I believe that reproaches of this kind were a pleasure, a consolation to them. Some of them, however, liked the brick-field work, because they got away from the town, and to the banks of the Irtych into open, agreeable country, with the sky overhead; the surroundings were more agreeable than those frightful Government buildings. They were allowed to smoke there in all freedom, and to remain lying down for half-an-hour or so, which was a great pleasure.
As for me, I was sent to one of the shops, or else to pound up alabaster, or to carry bricks, which last job I had for two months together. I had to take my tale of bricks from the banks of the Irtych to a distance of about 140 yards, and to pass the ditch of the fortress before getting to the barrack which they were putting up. This work suited me well enough, although the cord with which I carried my bricks sawed my shoulders; what particularly pleased me was that my strength increased sensibly. At the outset I could not carry more than eight bricks at once; each of them weighed about twelve pounds. I got to be able to carry twelve, or even fifteen, which delighted me much. You wanted physical as well as moral strength to be able to bear all the discomforts of that accursed life.
There was this, too: I wanted, when I left the place, really to live, not to be half-dead. I took pleasure in carrying my bricks, then; it was not merely that this labour strengthened my body, but because it took me always to the banks of the Irtych. I speak often of this spot, it was the only one where we saw God’s own world, a pure and bright horizon, the free desert steppes, whose bareness always produced a strange impression on me. All the other workyards were in the fortress itself, or in its neighbourhood; and the fortress, from the earliest days I was there, was the object of my hatred, and, above all, its appurtenant buildings. The house of the Major Commandant seemed to me a repulsive, accursed place. I never could pass it without casting upon it a look of detestation; while at the river-bank I could forget my miserable self as I sent my gaze over the immense desert space, just as a prisoner may when he looks at the world of freedom through the barred casement of his dungeon. Everything in that place was dear and gracious to my eyes; the sun shining in the infinite blue of heaven, the distant song of the Kirghiz that came from the opposite bank.
Sometimes I would fix my sight for a long while upon the poor smoky cabin of some baïgouch; I would study the bluish smoke as it curled in the air, the Kirghiz woman busy with her two sheep.... The things I saw were wild, savage, poverty-stricken; but they were free. I would follow the flight of a bird threading its way in the pure transparent air; now it skims the water, now disappears in the azure sky, now suddenly comes to view again, a mere point in space. Even the poor wee floweret fading in a cleft of the bank, which would show itself when spring began, fixed my attention and would draw my tears.... The melancholy of this first year of convict life and hard labour was unendurable, too much for my strength. The anguish of it was so great, I could not notice my immediate surroundings at all; I merely shut my eyes and would not see. Among the creatures with spoiled lives with whom I had to live, I did not yet note those who were capable of thinking and feeling, in spite of their external repulsiveness. There came not to my ears (or if there did I knew it not) one word of kindliness in the midst of the rain of poisonous talk that came down all the time. Still one such utterance there was, simple, straightforward, of pure motive, and it came from the heart of a man who had suffered and endured more than myself. But it is useless to enlarge on this.
The great fatigue I underwent was a source of satisfaction, it gave me hope of sound sleep. During the summer sleep was torment, more intolerable than the closeness and infection winter brought with it. Some of the nights were certainly very beautiful. The sun, which had not ceased to inundate the court-yard all the day, hid itself at last. The air freshened, and the night, the night of the steppe, became comparatively cold. The convicts, until shut up in their barracks, walked about in groups, especially on the kitchen side; for that was the place where questions of general interest were by preference discussed, and comments were made upon the rumours from without, often absurd indeed, but always keenly exciting to these men cut off from the world. For example, we suddenly learn that our Major had been roughly dismissed from his post. Convicts are as credulous as children; they know the news to be false, or most unlikely, and that the fellow who brings it is a past master in the art of lying, Kvassoff; for all that they clutch at the nonsensical story, go into high delight over it, are much consoled, and at last quite ashamed to have been duped by a Kvassoff.
“I should like to know who’ll show him the door?” cries one convict; “don’t you fear, he’s a fellow who knows how to stick on.”
“But,” says another, “he has his superiors over him.” This one is a warm controversialist, and has seen the world.
“Wolves don’t feed on one another,” says a third gloomily, half to himself. This one is an old fellow, growing gray, and he always takes his sour cabbage soup into a corner, and eats it there.
“Do you think his superiors will take your advice whether they shall show him the door or not?” adds a fourth, who doesn’t seem to care about it at all, giving a stroke to his balalaika.
“Well, why not?” replies the second angrily; “if you are asked, answer what’s in your mind. But no, with us fellows it’s all mere cry, and when you ought to go at things with a will, everybody sneaks out.”
“That’s so!” says the one playing with the balalaika. “Hard labour and prison are just the things to cause that.”
“It was like that the other day,” says the second one, without hearing the remark made to him. “There was a little wheat left, sweepings, a mere nothing; there was some idea of turning the refuse into money; well, look here, they took it to him, and he confiscated it. All economy, you see. Was that so, and was it right—yes or no?”
“But whom can you complain to?”
“To whom? Why, the ’spector (Inspector) who’s coming.”
“What ’spector?”
“It’s true, pals, a ’spector is coming soon,” said a youthful convict, who had got some sort of knowledge, had read the “Duchesse de la Vallière,” or some book of that sort, and who had been Quartermaster in a regiment; a bit of a wag, whom, as a man of information, the convicts held in a sort of respect. Without paying the least attention to the exciting debate, he goes straight to the cook, and asks him for some liver. Our cooks often deal in victuals of that kind; they used to buy a whole liver, cut it in pieces, and sell it to the other convicts.
“Two kopecks’ worth, or four?” asks cook.
“A four-kopeck cut; I’ll eat, the others shall look on and long,” says this convict. “Yes, pals, a general, a real general, is coming from Petersburg to ’spect all Siberia; it’s so, heard it at the Governor’s place.”
This news produces an extraordinary effect. For a quarter of an hour they ask each other who this General can be? what’s his title? whether his grade is higher than that of the Generals of our town? The convicts delight in discussing ranks and degrees, in finding out who’s at the head of things, who can make the other officials crook their backs, and to whom he crooks his own; so they get up an argument and quarrel about their Generals, and rude words fly about, all in honour of these high officers—fights, too, sometimes. What interest can they possibly have in it? When one hears convicts speaking of Generals and high officials one gets a measure of their intelligence as they were while still in the world before the prison days. It cannot be concealed that among our people, even in much higher circles, talk about generals and high officials is looked upon as the most serious and refined conversation.
“Well, you see, they have sent our Major to the right about, don’t ye?” observes Kvassoff, a little, rubicund, choleric, small-brained fellow, the same who had announced the supersession of the Major.
“We’ll just grease their palm for them,” this, in staccato tones from the morose old fellow in the corner who had finished his sour cabbage soup.
“I should think he would grease their palms, by Jove,” says another; “he has stolen money enough, the brigand. And, only think, he was only a regimental Major before he came here. He’s feathered his nest. Why, a little while ago he was engaged to the head priest’s daughter.”
“But he didn’t get married; they turned him off, and that shows he’s poor. A pretty sort of fellow to get engaged! He’s got nothing but the coat on his back; last year, Easter time, he lost all he had at cards. Fedka told me so.”
“Well, well, pals, I’ve been married myself, but it’s a bad thing for a poor devil; taking a wife is soon done, but the fun of it is more like an inch than a mile,” observes Skouratoff, who had just joined in the general talk.
“Do you fancy we’re going to amuse ourselves by discussing you?” says the ex-quartermaster in a superior manner. “Kvassoff, I tell you you’re a big idiot! If you fancy that the Major can grease the palm of an Inspector-General you’ve got things finely muddled; d’ye fancy they send a man from Petersburg just to inspect your Major? You’re a precious dolt, my lad; take it from me that it is so.”
“And you fancy because he’s a General he doesn’t take what’s offered?” said some one in the crowd in a sceptical tone.
“I should think he did indeed, and plenty of it whenever he can.”
“A dead sure thing that; gets bigger, and more, and worse, the higher the rank.”
“A General always has his palm greased,” says Kvassoff, sententiously.
“Did you ever give them money, as you’re so sure of it?” asks Baklouchin, suddenly striking in, in a tone of contempt; “come, now, did you ever see a General in all your life?”
“Yes.”
“Liar!”
“Liar, yourself!”
“Well, boys, as he has seen a General, let him say which. Come, quick about it; I know ’em all, every man jack.”
“I’ve seen General Zibert,” says Kvassoff in tones far from sure.
“Zibert! There’s no General of that name. That’s the General, perhaps, who was looking at your back when they gave you the cat. This Zibert was, perhaps, a Lieutenant-Colonel; but you were in such a fright just then, you took him for a General.”
“No! Just hear me,” cries Skouratoff, “for I’ve got a wife. There was really a General of that name, a German, but a Russian subject. He confessed to the Pope, every year, all about his peccadilloes with gay women, and drank water like a duck, at least forty glasses of Moskva water one after the other; that was the way he got cured of some disease. I had it from his valet.”
“I say! And the carp didn’t swim in his belly?” this from the convict with the balalaika.
“Be quiet, fellows, can’t you—one’s talking seriously, and there they are beginning their nonsense again. Who’s the ’spector that’s coming?” This was put by a convict who always seemed full of business, Martinof, an old man who had been in the Hussars.
“Set of lying fellows!” said one of the doubters. “Lord knows where they get it all from; it’s all empty talk.”
“It’s nothing of the sort,” observes Koulikoff, majestically silent hitherto, in dogmatic tones. “The man coming is big and fat, about fifty years, with regular features, and proud, contemptuous manners, on which he prides himself.”
Koulikoff is a Tzigan, a sort of veterinary surgeon, makes money by treating horses in town, and sells wine in our prison. He’s no fool, plenty of brain, memory well stocked, lets his words fall as carefully as if every one of ’em was worth a rouble.
“It’s true,” he went on very calmly, “I heard of it only last week; it’s a General with bigger epaulettes than most, and he’s going to inspect all Siberia. They grease his palm well for him, that’s sure enough; but not our Major with his eight eyes in his head. He won’t dare to creep in about him, for you see, pals, there are Generals and Generals, as there are fagots and fagots. It’s just this, and you may take it from me, our Major will remain where he is. We’re fellows with no tongue, we’ve no right to speak; and as to our chiefs here, they’re not going to say a word against him. The ’spector will come into our jail, give a look round, and go off at once; he’ll say it was all right.”
“Yes, but the Major’s in a fright; he’s been drunk since morning.”
“And this evening he had two van-loads of things taken away; Fedka says so.”
“You may scrub a nigger, he’ll never be white. Is it the first time you’ve seen him drunk, hey?”
“No! It will be a devil of a shame if the General does nothing to him,” said the convicts, who began to get highly excited.
The news of the arrival of the Inspector went through the prison. The prisoners went everywhere about the court-yard retailing the important fact. Some held their tongues and kept cool, trying to look important; some were really indifferent to it. Some of the convicts sat down on the steps of the doors to play the balalaika, while some went on with their gossip. Some groups were singing in a drawling voice, but the whole court-yard was upset and excited generally.
About nine o’clock they counted us, and quartered us in our barracks, which were closed for the night. A short summer night it was, so we were roused up at five o’clock in the morning, yet nobody had managed to sleep before eleven, for up to that hour there was conversation and all sort of movement was going on; sometimes, too, games of cards were made up, as in winter. The heat was intolerable, stifling. True, the open window let in some of the cool night air, but the convicts kept tossing themselves on their wooden beds as if delirious.
The fleas are countless. There were enough of them in winter; but when spring came they multiplied in proportions so formidable that I couldn’t believe it before I had to endure them. And as the summer went on the worse it was with them. I found out that one could get used to fleas; but for all that, the torment of them is so great that it throws you into a fever; even when you get slumber you quite feel it is not sleep, you are half delirious, and know it.
At last, towards morning, when the enemy is tired and you are deliciously asleep in the freshness of the early hours, suddenly sounds the pitiless morning drum-call. How you curse as you hear them, those sharp, quick strokes; you cower in your semi-pelisse, and then—you can’t help it—comes the thought that it will be so to-morrow, the day after, for many, many years, till you are set at liberty. When will it come, this freedom, freedom? Where is it in this world? Where is it hiding? You have to get up, they are walking about you in all directions. The usual noisy row begins. The convicts dress, and hurry to their work. It’s true you have an hour you can spend in sleep at noon.
What we had been told about the Inspector was really true. The reports were more confirmed every day; and at last it became certain that a General, high in office, was coming from Petersburg to inspect all Siberia, that he was already at Tobolsk. Every day we learned something fresh about it. These rumours came from the town. They told us that there was alarm in all quarters, and that everybody was making preparations to show himself in as favourable a light as might be. The authorities were organising receptions, balls, fêtes of every kind. Gangs of convicts were sent to level the ways in the fortress, smooth away hummocks in the ground, paint the palings and other wood-work, to plaster, do up, and generally repair everything that was conspicuous.
Our prisoners perfectly well understood the object of this labour, and their discussions became all the more animated and excited. Their imaginations passed all bounds. They even set about formulating some demands to be set before the General on his arrival, but that did not prevent their going on with their quarrels and violent speeches. Our Major was on hot coals. He came continually to visit the jail, shouted, and threw himself angrily on the fellows more than usual, sent them to the guard-room and punishment for a mere nothing, and watched very severely over the cleanliness and good order of the barracks. Just then, there occurred a little event which did not at all painfully affect this officer as one might have expected, but, on the contrary, caused him a lively satisfaction. One of the convicts struck another with an awl right in the chest, in a place quite near the heart.
The delinquent’s name was Lomof; the name the victim was known by in the jail was Gavrilka. He was one of those seasoned tramps I’ve spoken about earlier. Whether he had any other name, I don’t know; I never heard any attributed to him, except that one, Gavrilka.
Lomof had been a peasant comfortably off in the Government of T——, and district of K——. There were five of them living together, two brothers Lomof, and three sons. They were quite rich peasants; the talk throughout the district was that they had more than 300,000 roubles in paper money. They worked at currying and tanning; but their chief business was usury, harbouring tramps, and receiving stolen goods; all sorts of petty irregular doings. Half the peasants of their district owed them money, and so were in their clutches. They passed for being intelligent and full of cunning, and gave themselves very great airs. A great personage of their province had stopped on his way once at the father Lomof’s house, and this official had taken a fancy to him, because of his hardy and unscrupulous talk. Then they took it in their heads they might do exactly as they pleased, and mixed themselves up more and more with illegal doings. Everybody had a grievance against them, and would like to have seen them a hundred feet under the ground; but they got bolder and bolder every day. They were not afraid of the local police or the district tribunals.
At last fortune betrayed them; their ruin came, not out of their secret crimes, but from an accusation which was all calumny and falsehood. Ten versts from their hamlet they had a farm where six Kirghiz labourers, long since brought down by them to be no better than slaves, used to pass the autumn. One fine day these Kirghiz were found murdered. An inquiry was set on foot that lasted long, thanks to which no end of atrocious things were brought to light. The Lomofs were accused of having assassinated their workmen. They had themselves told their story to the convicts, all the jail knew it perfectly; they were suspected of owing a great deal of money to the Kirghiz, and, as they were full of greed and avarice in spite of their large fortunes, it was believed they had paid the debt by taking the lives of the poor fellows. While the inquiry and trial went on, their property melted away utterly. The father died, the sons were transported; one of these, with the uncle, was condemned to fifteen years of hard labour.
Now, they were perfectly innocent of the crime imputed to them. One fine day Gavrilka, a thorough-paced rascal, known as a tramp, but of very gay and lively turn, avowed himself the author of the crime. As a matter of fact I don’t know whether he actually made this avowal himself, but what is sure is that the convicts held him to be the murderer of the Kirghiz.
This Gavrilka, while still tramping about, had been mixed up in some way with the Lomofs (his confinement in one jail was for quite a short sentence, for desertion from the army and tramping). He had cut the throats of the Kirghiz—three other marauding fellows had been in it with him—in the hope of setting themselves up a bit with the plunder of the farm.
The Lomofs were no favourites with us, I really don’t know why. One of them, the nephew, was a sturdy fellow, intelligent and sociable; but his uncle, the one that struck Gavrilka with the awl, was a choleric, stupid rustic, always quarrelling with the convicts, who knocked him about like plaster. All the jail liked Gavrilka for his gaiety and good-humour. The Lomofs got to know, like the rest, that he was the man who committed the crime they were condemned for; but they never got into any quarrel with him. Gavrilka paid no attention whatever to them.
The row with Uncle Lomof began about some disgusting girl they had quarrelled over. Gavrilka had boasted of the favour she had shown him. The peasant, mad with jealousy, ended by driving an awl into his chest.
Although the Lomofs had been ruined by their trial and sentence, they passed in the jail for being very rich. They had money, a samovar, and drank tea. Our Major knew all about it, and hated the two Lomofs, sparing them no vexation. The victims of his hate explained it by a desire to have them grease his palm well, but they could not, or would not, bring themselves to do it.
If Uncle Lomof had struck his awl one hair’s breadth further in Gavrilka’s breast he would certainly have killed him; as it was, the wound did not much signify. The affair was reported to the Major. I think I see him now as he came up out of breath, but with visible satisfaction. He addressed Gavrilka in an affable, fatherly way:
“Tell me, lad, can you walk to the hospital or must they carry you there? No, I think it will be better to have a horse; let them put a horse to this moment!” he cried out to the sub-officer with a gasp.
“But I don’t feel it at all, your worship; he’s only given me a bit of a prick, your worship.”
“You don’t know, my dear fellow, you don’t know; you’ll see. A nasty place he’s struck you in. All depends upon the place. He has given it you just below the heart, the scoundrel. Wait, wait!” he howled to Lomof. “I’ve got you tight; take him to the guard-house.”
He kept his promise. Lomof was tried, and, though the wound was slight, there was plainly malice aforethought; his sentence of hard labour was extended for several years, and they gave him a thousand strokes with the rod. The Major was delighted.
The Inspector arrived at last.
The day after he reached the town, he came to the convict establishment to make his inspection. It was a regular fête-day. For some days everything had been brilliantly clean, washed with great precision. The convicts were all just shaven, their linen quite white and without a stain. (According to the regulations, they wore in summer waistcoats and pantaloons of canvas. Every one had a round black piece sown in at the back, eight centimetres in diameter.) For a whole hour the prisoners had been drilled as to what they should answer, the very words to be used, particularly if the high functionary should take any notice of them.
There had been even regular rehearsals. The Major seemed to have lost his head. An hour before the coming in of the Inspector, all the convicts were at their posts, as stiff as statues, with their little fingers on the seams of their pantaloons. At last, just about one o’clock the Inspector made his entry. He was a General, with a most self-sufficing bearing, so much so, that the mere sight of it must have sent a tremor into the hearts of all the officials of West Siberia.
He came in with a stern and majestic air, followed by a crowd of Generals and Colonels doing service in our town. There was a civilian, too, of high stature and regular features, in frock-coat and shoes. This personage bore himself very independently and airily, and the General addressed him every moment with exquisite politeness. This civilian also had come from Petersburg. All the convicts were terribly curious as to who he could be, such an important General showing him such deference? We learned who he was and what his office later, but he was a good deal talked about before we knew.
Our Major, all spick and span, with orange-coloured collar, made no too favourable impression upon the General; the blood-shot eyes and fiery rubicund complexion plainly told their own story. Out of respect for his superior he had taken off his spectacles, and stood some way off, as straight as a dart, in feverish expectation that something would be asked of him, that he might run and carry out His Excellency’s wishes; but no particular need of his services seemed to be felt.
The General went all through the barracks without saying a word, threw a glance into the kitchen, where he tasted the sour cabbage soup. They pointed me out to him, telling him that I was an ex-nobleman, who had done this, that, and the other.
“Ah!” answered the General. “And how does he conduct himself?”
“Satisfactorily for the time being, your Excellency, satisfactorily.”
The General nodded, and left the jail in a couple of minutes more. The convicts were dazzled and disappointed, and did not know what to be at. As to laying complaints against the Major, that was quite over, could not be thought of. He had, no doubt, been quite well assured as to this beforehand.

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CHAPTER VI. THE ANIMALS AT THE CONVICT ESTABLISHMENT

Gniedko, a bay horse, was bought a little while afterwards, and the event furnished a much more agreeable and interesting diversion to the convicts than the visit of the high personage I have been talking about. We required a horse at the jail for carrying water, refuse matter, etc. He was given to a convict to take care of and use; this man drove him, under escort, of course. Our horse had plenty to do morning and night; it was a worthy sort of beast, but a good deal worn, and had been in service for a long time already.
One fine morning, the eve of St. Peter’s Day, Gniedko, our bay, who was dragging a barrel of water, fell all of a heap, and gave up the ghost in a few minutes. He was much regretted, so all the convicts gathered round him to discuss his death. Those who had served in the cavalry, the Tzigans, the veterinary fellows, and others, showed a profound knowledge of horses in general and fiercely argued the question; but all that did not bring our bay horse to life again; there he was stretched out and dead, with his belly all swollen. Every one thought it incumbent on him to feel about the poor thing with his hands; finally the Major was informed of what Providence had done in the horse’s case, and it was decided that another should be bought at once.
St. Peter’s Day, quite early after mass, all the convicts being together, horses that were on sale were brought in. It was left to the prisoners to choose an animal, for there were some thorough experts among them, and it would have been difficult to take in 250 men, with whom horse-dealing had been a speciality. Tzigans, Lezghians, professional horse-dealers, townsmen, came in to deal. The convicts were exceedingly eager about the matter as each fresh horse was brought up, and were as amused as children about it all. It seemed to tickle their fancy very much, that they had to buy a horse like free men, just as if it was for themselves and the money was to come out of their own pockets. Three horses were brought and taken away before purchase; the fourth was settled on. The horse-dealers seemed astonished and a little awed at the soldiers of the escort who watched the business. Two hundred men, clean shaven, branded as they were, with chains on their feet, were well calculated to inspire respect, all the more as they were in their own place, at home so to speak, in their own convict’s den, where nobody was ever allowed to come.
Our fellows seemed to be up to no end of tricks for finding out the real value of a horse brought up; they carefully examined it, handled it with the most serious demeanour, went on as if the welfare of the establishment was bound up with the purchase of this beast. The Circassians took the liberty of jumping upon his back: their eyes shone wildly, they chatted rapidly in their incomprehensible dialect, showed their white teeth, dilating the nostrils of their hooked copper-coloured noses. There were some Russians who paid the most lively attention to their discussion, and seemed ready to jump down their throats; they did not understand a word, but it was plain they did what they could to gather from the expression of the eyes of the fellows whether the horse was good or not. But what could it matter to a convict, especially to some of them, who were creatures altogether down and done for, who never ventured to utter a single word to the others? What could it matter to such as these, whether one horse or another was bought? Yet it seemed as if it did. The Circassians appeared to be most relied on for their opinion, and besides these a foremost place in the discussion was given to the Tzigans, and those who had formerly been horse-dealers.
There was a regular sort of duel between two convicts—the Tzigan Koulikoff, who had been a horse-dealer and stealer, and another who had been a professional veterinary, a tricky Siberian peasant, who had been at the establishment and at hard labour for some time, and who had succeeded in getting all Koulikoff’s practice in the town. I ought to mention that the veterinary practitioners at the prison, though without diploma, were very much sought after, and that not only the townspeople and tradespeople, but high officials in the city, took their advice when their horses fell ill, rather than that of several regularly diplomatised veterinaries who were at the place.
Until Jolkin came, the Siberian peasant Koulikoff had had plenty of clients from whom he had had fees in good hard cash. He was looked on as quite at the head of his business. He was a Tzigan all over in his doings, liar and cheat, and not at all the master of his art he boasted of being. The income he made had raised him to be a sort of aristocrat among our convicts; he was listened to and obeyed, but he spoke little, and expressed an opinion only in great emergencies. He blew his own trumpet loudly, but he really was a fellow of great energy; he was of ripe age, and of quite marked intelligence. When he spoke to us of the nobility, he did so with exquisite politeness and perfect dignity. I am sure that if he had been suitably dressed, and introduced into a club at the capital with the title of Count, he would have lived up to it; played whist, talked to admiration like a man used to command, and one who knew when to hold his tongue. I am sure that the whole evening would have passed without any one guessing that the “Count” was nothing but a vagabond. He had very probably had a very large and varied experience in life; as to his past, it was quite unknown to us. They kept him among the convicts who formed a special section reserved from the others.
But no sooner had Jolkin come—he was a simple peasant, one of the “old believers,” but just as tricky as it was possible for a moujik to be—the veterinary glory of Koulikoff paled sensibly. In less than two months the Siberian had got from him all his town practice, for he cured in a very short time horses Koulikoff had declared incurable, and which had been given up by the regular veterinaries. This peasant had been condemned and sent to hard labour for coining. It is an odd thing he should ever have been tempted to go into that line of business. He told us all about it himself, and joked about their wanting three coins of genuine gold to make one false.
Koulikoff was not a little put out at this peasant’s success, while his own glory so rapidly declined. There was he who had had a mistress in the suburbs, who used to wear a plush jacket and top-boots, and here he was now obliged to turn tavern-keeper; so everybody looked out for a regular row when the new horse was bought. The thing was very interesting, each of them had his partisans; the more eager among them got to angry words about it on the spot. The cunning face of Jolkin was all wrinkled into a sarcastic smile; but it turned out quite differently from what was expected. Koulikoff had not the least desire for argument or dispute, he managed cunningly without that. At first he gave way on every point, and listened deferentially to his rival’s criticisms, then he caught him up sharply on some remark or other, and pointed out to him modestly but firmly that he was all wrong. In a word, Jolkin was utterly discomfited in a surprisingly clever way, so Koulikoff’s side was quite well pleased.
“I say, boys, it’s no use talking; you can’t trip him up. He knows what he is about,” said some.
“Jolkin knows more about the matter than he does,” said others; not offensively, however. Both sides were ready to make concessions.
“Then, he’s got a lighter hand, besides having more in his head. I tell you that when it comes to stock, horses, or anything else, Koulikoff needn’t duck under to anybody.”
“Nor need Jolkin, I tell you.”
“There’s nobody like Koulikoff.”
The new horse was selected and bought. It was a capital gelding—young, vigorous, and handsome; an irreproachable beast altogether. The bargaining began. The owner asked thirty roubles; the convicts wouldn’t give more than twenty-five. The higgling went on long and hotly. At length the convicts began laughing.
“Does the money come out of your own purse?” said some. “What’s the good of all this?”
“Do you want to save for the Government cashbox?” cried others.
“But it’s money that belongs to us all, pals,” said one.
“Us all! It’s plain enough that you needn’t trouble to grow idiots, they’ll come up of themselves without it.”
At last the business was settled at twenty-eight roubles. The Major was informed, the purchase sanctioned. Bread and salt were brought at once, and the new boarder led in triumph into the jail. There was not one of the convicts, I think, that did not pat his neck or caress his head.
The day we got him he was at once put to fetching water. All the convicts gazed on him curiously as he pulled at his barrel.
Our waterman, the convict Roman, kept his eyes on the beast with a stupid sort of satisfaction. He was formerly a peasant, about fifty years of age, serious and silent, like all the Russian coachmen, whose behaviour would really seem to acquire some extra gravity by reason of their being always with horses.
Roman was a quiet creature, affable all round, said little, took snuff from a box. He had taken care of the horses at the jail for some time before that. The one just bought was the third given into his charge since he came to the place.
The coachman’s office fell, as a matter of course, to Roman; nobody would have dreamed of contesting his right to it. When the bay horse dropped and died, nobody dreamed of accusing Roman of imprudence, not even the Major. It was the will of God, that was all; as to Roman, he knew his business.
That bay horse had become the pet of the jail at once. The convicts were not particularly tender fellows; but they could not help coming to pet him often.
Sometimes when Roman, returning from the river, shut the great gate which the sub-officer had opened, Gniedko would stand quite still waiting for his driver, and turning to him as for orders.
“Get along, you know the way,” Roman would cry to him. Then Gniedko would go off peaceably to the kitchen and stop there, and the cooks and other servants of the place would fill their buckets with water, which Gniedko seemed to know all about.
“Gniedko, you’re a trump! He’s brought his water-barrel himself. He’s a delight to see!” they would cry to him.
“That’s true; he’s only a beast, but he knows all that’s said to him.”
“No end of a horse is our Gniedko!”
Then the horse shook his head and snorted, just as if he really understood all about his being praised; then some one would bring him bread and salt; and when he had finished with them he would shake his head again, as if to say, “I know you; I know you. I’m a good horse, and you’re a good fellow.”
I was quite fond of regaling Gniedko with bread. It was quite a pleasure to me to look at his nice mouth, and to feel his warm, moist lips licking up the crumbs from the palm of my hand.
Our convicts were fond of live things, and if they had been allowed would have filled the barracks with birds and domestic animals. What could possibly have been better than attending to such creatures for raising and softening the wild temper of the prisoners? But it was not permitted; it was not in the regulations; and, truth to say, there was no room there for many creatures.
However, in my time some animals had established themselves in the jail. Besides Gniedko, we had some dogs, geese, a he-goat—Vaska—and an eagle, which remained only a short time.
I think I have said before that our dog was called Bull, and that he and I had struck up a friendship; but as the lower orders regard dogs as impure animals undeserving of attention, nobody minded him. He lived in the jail itself; slept in the court-yard; ate the leavings of the kitchen, and had no hold whatever on the sympathy of the convicts; all of whom he knew, however, and regarded as masters and owners. When the men assigned to work came back to the jail, at the cry of “Corporal,” he used to run to the great gate and gaily welcome the gang, wagging his tail and looking into every man’s eyes, as though he expected a caress. But for several years his little ways were as useless as they were engaging. Nobody but myself did caress him; so I was the one he preferred to all others. Somehow—I don’t know in what way—we got another dog. Snow he was called. As to the third, Koultiapka, I brought him myself to the place when he was but a pup.
Our Snow was a strange creature. A telega had gone over him and driven in his spine, so that it made a curve inside him. When you saw him running at a distance, he looked like twin-dogs born with a ligament. He was very mangy, too, with bleary eyes, and his tail was hairless, and always hanging between his legs.
Victim of ill-fate as he was, he seemed to have made up his mind to be always as impassive as possible; so he never barked at anybody, for he seemed to be afraid of getting into some fresh trouble. He was nearly always lurking at the back of the buildings; and if anybody came near he rolled on his back at once, as though he meant to say, “Do what you like with me; I’ve not the least idea of resisting you.” And every convict, when the dog upset himself like that, would give him a passing obligatory kick, with “Ouh! the dirty brute!” But Snow dared not so much as give a groan; and if he was too much hurt, would only utter a little, dull, strangled yelp. He threw himself down just the same way before Bull or any other dog when he came to try his luck at the kitchen; and he would stretch himself out flat if a mastiff or any other big dog came barking at him. Dogs like submission and humility in other dogs; so the angry brute quieted down at once, and stopped short reflectively before the poor, humble beast, and then sniffed him curiously all over.
I wonder what poor Snow, trembling with fright, used to think at such moments. “Is this brigand of a fellow going to bite me?”—no doubt something like that. When he had sniffed enough at him, the big brute left him at once, having probably discovered nothing in particular. Snow used then to jump to his feet, and join a lot of four-footed fellows like him who were running down some bitch or other.
Snow knew quite well that no bitch would ever condescend to the like of him, that she was too proud for that, but it was some consolation to him in his troubles to limp after her. As to decent behaviour, he had but a very vague notion of any such thing. Being totally without any hope in his future, his highest aim was to get a bellyful of victuals, and he was cynical enough in showing that it was so.
Once I tried to caress him. This was such an unexpected and new thing to him that he plumped down on the ground quite helplessly, and quivered and whined in his delight. As I was really sorry for him I used to caress him often, so as soon as he caught sight of me he began to whine in a plaintive, tearful way. He came to his end at the back of the jail, in the ditch; some dogs tore him to pieces.
Koultiapka was quite a different style of dog. I don’t know why I brought him in from one of the workshops, where he was just born; but it gave me pleasure to feed him, and see him grow big. Bull took Koultiapka under his protection, and slept with him. When the young dog began to grow up, Bull was remarkably complaisant with him. He allowed the pup to bite his ears, and pull his skin with his teeth; he played with him as mature dogs are in the habit of doing with the youngsters. It was a strange thing, but Koultiapka never grew in height at all, only in length and breadth. His hide was fluffy and mouse-coloured; one of his ears hung down, while the other was always cocked up. He was, like all young dogs, ardent and enthusiastic, yelping with pleasure when he saw his master, and jumping up to lick his face precisely as if he said: “As long as he sees how delighted I am, I don’t care; let etiquette go to the devil!”
Wherever I was, at my call, “Koultiapka,” out he came from some corner, dashing towards me with noisy satisfaction, making a ball of himself, and rolling over and over. I was exceedingly fond of the little wretch, and I used to fancy that destiny had reserved for him nothing but joy and pleasure in this world of ours; but one fine day the convict Neustroief, who made women’s shoes and prepared skins, cast his eye on him; something had evidently struck him, for he called Koultiapka, felt his skin, and turned him over on the ground in a friendly way. The unsuspicious dog barked with pleasure, but next day he was nowhere to be found. I hunted for him for some time, but in vain; at last, after two weeks, all was explained. Koultiapka’s natural cloak had been too much for Neustroief, who had flayed him to make up with the skin some boots of fur-trimmed velvet ordered by the young wife of some official. He showed them me when they were done, their inside lining was magnificent; all Koultiapka, poor fellow!
A good many convicts worked at tanning, and often brought with them to the jail dogs with a nice skin, which soon were seen no more. They stole them or bought them. I remember one day I saw a couple of convicts behind the kitchens laying their heads together. One of them held in a leash a very fine black dog of particularly good breed. A scamp of a footman had stolen it from his master, and sold it to our shoemakers for thirty kopecks. They were going to hang it; that was their way of disposing of them; then they took the skin off, and threw the body into a ditch used for ejecta, which was in the most distant corner of the court, and which stank most horribly during the summer heats, for it was rarely seen to.
I think the poor beast understood the fate in store for him. It looked at us one after another in a distressed, scrutinising way; at intervals it gave a timid little wag with its bushy tail between its legs, as though trying to reach our hearts by showing us every confidence. I hastened away from the convicts, who finished their vile work without hindrance.
As to the geese of the establishment, they had established themselves there quite fortuitously. Who took care of them? To whom did they belong? I really don’t know; but they were a huge delight to our convicts, and acquired a certain fame throughout the town.
They had been hatched in the convict establishment somewhere, and their head-quarters was the kitchen, whence they emerged in gangs of their own, when the gangs of convicts went out to their work. But as soon as the drum beat and the prisoners massed themselves at the great gate, out ran the geese after them, cackling and flapping their wings, then they jumped one after the other over the elevated threshold of the gateway; while the convicts were at their work, the geese pecked about at a little distance from them. As soon as they had done and set out for the jail, again the geese joined the procession, and people who passed by would cry out, “I say, there are the prisoners with their friends, the geese!” “How did you teach them to follow you?” some one would ask. “Here’s some money for your geese,” another said, putting his hand in his pocket. In spite of their devotion to the convicts they had their necks twisted to make a feast at the end of the Lent of some year, I forget which.
Nobody would ever have made up his mind to kill our goat Vaska, unless something particular had happened; as it did. I don’t know how it got into our prison, or who had brought it. It was a white kid, and very pretty. After some days it had won all hearts, it was diverting and winning. As some excuse was needed for keeping it in the jail, it was given out that it was quite necessary to have a goat in the stables; but he didn’t live there, but in the kitchen principally; and after a while he roamed about all over the place. The creature was full of grace and as playful as could be, jumped on the tables, wrestled with the convicts, came when it was called, and was always full of spirits and fun.
One evening, the Lezghian Babaï, who was seated on the stone steps at the doors of the barracks among a crowd of other convicts, took it into his head to have a wrestling bout with Vaska, whose horns were pretty long.
They butted their foreheads against one another—that was the way the convicts amused themselves with him—when all of a sudden Vaska jumped on the highest step, lifted himself up on his hind legs, drew his fore-feet to him and managed to strike the Lezghian on the back of the neck with all his might, and with such effect that Babaï went headlong down the steps to the great delight of all who were by as well as of Babaï himself.
In a word, we all adored our Vaska. When he attained the age of puberty, a general and serious consultation was held, as the result of which, he was subjected to an operation which one of the prison veterinaries executed in a masterly manner.
“Well,” said the prisoners, “he won’t have any goat-smell about him, that’s one comfort.”
Vaska then began to lay on fat in the most surprising way. I must say that we fed him quite unconscionably. He became a most beautiful fellow, with magnificent horns, corpulent beyond anything. Sometimes as he walked, he rolled over on the ground heavily out of sheer fatness. He went with us out to work too, which was very diverting to the convicts and all others who saw; and everybody got to know Vaska, the jailbird.
When they worked at the river bank, the prisoners used to cut willow branches and other foliage, and gather flowers in the ditches to ornament Vaska. They used to twine the branches and flowers round his horns and decorate his body with garlands. Vaska then came back at the head of the gang in a splendid state of ornamentation, and we all came after in high pride at seeing him such a beauty.
This love for our goat went so far that prisoners raised the question, not a very wise one, whether Vaska ought not to have his horns gilded. It was a vain idea; nothing came of it. I asked Akim Akimitch, the best gilder in the jail, whether you really could gild a goat’s horns. He examined Vaska’s quite closely, thought a bit, and then said that it could be done, but that it would not last, and would be quite useless. So nothing came of it. Vaska would have lived for many years more, and, no doubt, have died of asthma at last, if, one day as he returned from work at the head of the convicts, his path had not been crossed by the Major, who was seated in his carriage. Vaska was in particularly gorgeous array.
“Halt!” yelled the Major. “Whose goat is that?”
They told him.
“What! a goat in the prison! and that without my leave? Sub-officer!”
The sub-officer received orders to kill the goat without a moment’s delay; flay him, and sell his skin; and put the proceeds to the prisoners’ account. As to the meat, he ordered it to be cooked with the convicts’ cabbage soup.
The occurrence was much discussed; the goat was much mourned; but nobody dared to disobey the Major. Vaska was put to death close to the ditch I spoke of just now. One of the convicts bought the carcase, paying a rouble and fifty kopecks. With this money white bread was bought for everybody. The man who had bought the goat sold him at retail in a roasted state. The meat was delicious.
We had also, during some time, in our prison a steppe eagle; a quite small species. A convict brought it in, wounded, half-dead. Everybody came flocking around it; it could not fly, its right wing being quite powerless; one of its legs was badly hurt. It gazed on the curious crowd wrathfully, and opened its crooked beak, as if prepared to sell its life dearly. When we had looked at him long enough, and the crowd dispersed, the lamed bird went off, hopping on one paw and flapping his wing, and hid himself in the most distant part of the place he could find; there he huddled himself in a corner against the palings.
During the three months that he remained in our court-yard he never came out of his corner. At first we went to look at him pretty often, and sometimes they set Bull at him, who threw himself forward with fury, but was frightened to go too near, which mightily amused the convicts. “A wild chap that! He won’t stand any nonsense!” But Bull after a while got over his fright, and began to worry him. When he was roused to it, the dog would catch hold of the bird’s bad wing, and the creature defended itself with beak and claws, and then got up closer into his corner with a proud, savage sort of demeanour, like a wounded king, fixing his eyes steadily on the fellows looking at his misery.
They tired of the sport after a while, and the eagle seemed quite forgotten; but there was some one who, every day, put close to him a bit of fresh meat and a vessel with some water. At first, and for several days, the eagle would eat nothing; at last, he made up his mind to take what was left for him, but he never could be got to take anything from the hand, or in public. Sometimes I succeeded in watching his proceedings at some distance.
When he saw nobody, and thought he was alone, he ventured upon leaving his corner and limping along the palisade for a dozen steps or so, then went back; and so forwards and backwards, precisely as if he were taking exercise for his health under medical orders. As soon as ever he caught sight of me he made for his corner as quickly as he possibly could, limping and hopping. Then he threw his head back, opened his mouth, ruffled himself, and seemed to make ready for fight.
In vain I tried to caress him. He bit and struggled as soon as he was touched. Not once did he take the meat I offered him, and all the time I remained by him he kept his wicked, piercing eye upon me. Lonely and revengeful he waited for death, defying, refusing to be reconciled with everything and everybody.
At last the convicts remembered him, after two months of complete forgetfulness, and then they showed a sympathy I did not expect of them. It was unanimously agreed to carry him out.
“Let him die, but let him die in freedom,” said the prisoners.
“Sure enough, a free and independent bird like that will never get used to the prison,” added others.
“He’s not like us,” said some one.
“Oh well, he’s a bird, and we’re human beings.”
“The eagle, pals, is the king of the woods,” began Skouratof; but that day nobody paid any attention to him.
One afternoon, when the drum beat for beginning work, they took the eagle, tied his beak (for he struck a desperate attitude), and took him out of the prison on to the ramparts. The twelve convicts of the gang were extremely anxious to know where he would go to. It was a strange thing: they all seemed as happy as though they had themselves got their freedom.
“Oh, the wretched brute. One wants to do him a kindness, and he tears your hand for you by way of thanks,” said the man who held him, looking almost lovingly at the spiteful bird.
“Let him fly off, Mikitka!”
“It doesn’t suit him being a prisoner; give him his freedom, his jolly freedom.”
They threw him from the ramparts on to the steppe. It was just at the end of autumn, a gray, cold day. The wind whistled on the bare steppe and went groaning through the yellow dried-up grass. The eagle made off directly, flapping his wounded wing, as if in a hurry to quit us and get himself a shelter from our piercing eyes. The convicts watched him intently as he went along with his head just above the grass.
“Do you see him, hey?” said one very pensively.
“He doesn’t look round,” said another; “he hasn’t looked behind once.”
“Did you happen to fancy he’d come back to thank us?” said a third.
“Sure enough, he’s free; he feels it. It’s freedom!”
“Yes, freedom.”
“You won’t see him any more, pals.”
“What are you about sticking there? March, march!” cried the escort, and all went slowly to their work.

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CHAPTER VII. GRIEVANCES

At the outset of this chapter, the editor of the “Recollections” of the late Alexander Petrovitch Goriantchikoff thinks it his duty to communicate what follows to his readers.
“In the first chapter of the ‘Recollections of the House of the Dead,’ something was said about a parricide, of noble birth, who was put forward as an instance of the insensibility with which the convicts speak of the crimes they have committed. It was also stated that he refused altogether to confess to the authorities and the court; but that, thanks to the statements of persons who knew all the details of his case and history, his guilt was put beyond all doubt. These persons had informed the author of the ‘Recollections,’ that the criminal had been of dissolute life and overwhelmed with debts, and that he had murdered his father to come into the property. Besides, the whole town where this parricide was imprisoned told his story in precisely the same way, a fact of which the editor of these ‘Recollections’ has fully satisfied himself. It was further stated that this murderer, even when in the jail, was of quite a joyous and cheerful frame of mind, a sort of inconsiderate giddy-pated person, although intelligent, and that the author of the ‘Recollections’ had never observed any particular signs of cruelty about him, to which he added, ‘So I, for my part, never could bring myself to believe him guilty.’
“Some time ago the editor of the ‘Recollections of the House of the Dead,’ had intelligence from Siberia of the discovery of the innocence of this ‘parricide,’ and that he had undergone ten years of the imprisonment with hard labour for nothing; this was recognised and avowed by the authorities. The real criminals had been discovered and had confessed, and the unfortunate man in question set at liberty. All this stands upon unimpeachable and authoritative grounds.”
To say more would be useless. The tragical facts speak too clearly for themselves. All words are weak in such a case, where a life has been ruined by such an accusation. Such mistakes as these are among the dreadful possibilities of life, and such possibilities impart a keener and more vivid interest to the “Recollections of the House of the Dead,” which dreadful place we see may contain innocent as well as guilty men.
To continue. I have said that I became at last, in some sense, accustomed, if not reconciled, to the conditions of convict life; but it was a long and dreadful time before I was. It took me nearly a year to get used to the prison, and I shall always regard this year as the most dreadful of my life, it is graven deep in my memory, down to the very least details. I think that I could minutely recall the events and feelings of each successive hour in it.
I have said that the other prisoners, too, found it as difficult as I did to get used to the life they had to lead. During the whole of this first year, I used to ask myself whether they were really as calm as they seemed to be. Questions of this kind pressed themselves upon me. As I have mentioned before, all the convicts felt themselves in an alien element to which they could not reconcile themselves. The sense of home was an impossibility; they felt as if they were staying, as a stage upon a journey, in an evil sort of inn. These men, exiles for and from life, seemed either in a perpetual smouldering agitation, or else in deep depression; but there was not one who had not his ordinary ideas of one thing or another. This restlessness, which, if it did not come to the surface, was still unmistakable; those vague hopes of the poor creatures which existed in spite of themselves, hopes so ill-founded that they were more like the promptings of incipient insanity than aught else; all this stamped the place with a character, an originality, peculiarly its own. One could not but feel when one went there that there was nothing like it anywhere else in the whole world. There everybody went about in a sort of waking dream; nor was there anything to relieve or qualify the impressions the place made on the system of every man; so that all seemed to suffer from a sort of hyper-aesthetic neurosis, and this dreaming of impossibilities gave to the majority of the convicts a sombre and morose aspect, for which the word morbid is not strong enough. Nearly all were taciturn and irascible, preferring to keep to themselves the hopes they secretly and vainly cherished. The result was, that anything like ingenuousness or frank statement was the object of general contempt. Precisely because these wild hopes were impossible, and, despite themselves, were felt to be so, confessed to their more lucid selves to be so, they kept them jealously concealed in the most secret recesses of their souls; while to renounce them was beyond their powers of self-control. It may be they were ashamed of their imagination. God knows. The Russian character is, in its normal conditions, so positive and sober in its way of looking at life, so pitiless in criticism of its own weaknesses.
Perhaps it was this inward misery of self-dissatisfaction which was at the bottom of the impatience and intolerance the convicts showed among themselves, and of the cruel biting things they said to each other. If one of them, more naïve or impartial than the rest, put into words what every one of them had in his mind, painted his castles in the air, told his dreams of liberty, or plans of escape, they shut him up with brutal promptitude, and made the poor fellow’s life a burden to him with their sarcasms and jests. And I think those did it most unscrupulously who had perhaps themselves gone furthest in cherishing futile hopes, and indulging in senseless expectations. I have said, more than once, that those among them who were marked by simplicity and candour were looked on rather as being stupid and idiotic; there was nothing but contempt for them. The convicts were so soured and, in the wrong sense, sensitive, that they positively hated anything like amiability or unselfishness. I should be disposed to classify them all broadly, as either good or bad men, morose or cheerful, putting by themselves, as a sort of separate creatures, the ingenious fellows who could not hold their tongues. But the sour-tempered were in far the greatest majority; some of these were talkative, but these were usually of slanderous and envious disposition, always poking their noses into other people’s business, though they took good care not to let anybody have a glimpse of the secret thoughts of their own souls; that would have been against the fashions and conventions of this strange, little world. As to the fellows who were really good—very few indeed were they—these were always very quiet and peaceable, and buried their hopes, if they had any, in strict silence; but more of real faith went with their hopes than was the case with the gloomy-minded among the convicts. Stay, there was one category further among our convicts, which ought not to be forgotten; the men who had lost all hope, who were despairing and desperate, like the old man of Starodoub; but these were very few indeed.
The old man of Starodoub! This was a very subdued, quiet, old man; but there were some indications of what went on in him, which he could not help giving, and from which, I could not help seeing, that his inward life was one of intolerable horror; still he had something to fall back upon for help and consolation—prayer, and the notion that he was a martyr. The convict who was always reading the Bible, of whom I spoke earlier, the one that went mad and threw himself, brick in hand, upon the Major, was also probably one of those whom hope had altogether abandoned; and, as it is perfectly impossible to go on living without hope of some sort, he threw away his life as a sort of voluntary sacrifice. He declared that he attacked the Major though he had no grievance in particular; all he wanted was to have some torments inflicted on himself.
Now, what sort of psychological operation had been going on in that man’s soul? No man lives, can live, without having some object in view, and making efforts to attain that object. But when object there is none, and hope is entirely fled, anguish often turns a man into a monster. The object we all had in view was liberty, and getting out of our place of confinement and hard labour.
So I try to place our convicts in separately-defined classes and categories; but it cannot well be done. Reality is a thing of infinite diversity, and defies the most ingenious deductions and definitions of abstract thought, nay, abhors the clear and precise classifications we so delight in. Reality tends to infinite subdivision of things, and truth is a matter of infinite shadings and differentiations. Every one of us who were there had his own peculiar, interior, strictly personal life, which lay altogether outside of the world of regulations and our official superintendence.
But, as I have said before, I could not penetrate the depths of this interior life in the early part of my prison career, for everything that met my eyes, or challenged my attention in any way, filled me with a sadness for which there are no words. Sometimes I felt nothing short of hatred for poor creatures whose martyrdom was at least as great as mine. In those first days I envied them, because they were among persons of their own sort, and understood one another; so I thought, but the truth was that their enforced companionship, the comradeship where the word of command went with the whip or the rod, was as much an object of aversion to them as it was to myself, and every one of them tried to keep himself as much to himself as possible. This envious hatred of them, which came to me in moments of irritation, was not without its reasonable cause, for those who tell you so confidently that a cultivated man of the higher class does not suffer as a mere peasant does, are utterly in the wrong. That is a thing I have often heard said, and read too. In the abstract, the notion seems correct, and it is founded in generous sentiment, for all convicts are human beings alike; but in reality it is different. In the real living facts of the problem there come in a quantity of practical complications, and only experience can pronounce upon these: experience which I have had. I do not mean to lay it down peremptorily, that the nobleman and the man of culture feel more acutely, sensitively, deeply, because of their more highly developed conditions of being. On the other hand, it is impossible to bring all souls to one common level or standard; neither the grade of education, nor any other thing, furnishes a standard according to which punishment can be meted out.
It is a great satisfaction to me to be able to say that among these dreadful sufferers, in a state of things so barbarous and abject, I found abundant proof that the elements of moral development were not wanting. In our convict establishment there were men whom I was familiar with for several years, and whom I looked upon as wild beasts and abhorred as such; well, all of a sudden, when I least expected it, these very men would exhibit such an abundance of feeling of the best kind, so keen a comprehension of the sufferings of others, seen in the light of the consciousness of their own, that one might almost fancy scales had fallen from their eyes. So sudden was it as to cause stupefaction; one could scarcely believe one’s eyes or ears. Sometimes it was just the other way: educated men, well brought up, would occasionally display a savage, cynical brutality which nearly turned one’s stomach, conduct of a kind impossible to excuse or justify, however much you might be charitably inclined to do so.
I lay no stress on the entire change in the habits of life, the food, etc., as to which there come in points where the man of the higher classes suffers so much more keenly than the peasant or working man, who often goes hungry when free, while he always has his stomach-full in prison. We will leave all that out. Let it be admitted that for a man with some force of character these external things are a trifle in comparison with privations of a quite different kind; for all that, such total change of material conditions and habits is neither an easy nor a slight thing. But in the convict’s status there are elements of horror before which all other horrors pale, even the mud and filth everywhere about, the scantiness and uncleanness of the food, the irons on your limbs, the suffocating sense of being always held tight, as in a vice.
The capital, the most important point of all is, that after a couple of hours or so, every newcomer to a convict establishment, who is of the lower class, shakes down into equality with the rest; he is at home among them, he has his “freedom” of this city of the enslaved, this community of convicted scoundrels, in which one man is superficially like every other man; he understands and is understood, he is looked upon by everybody as one of themselves. Now all this is not so in the case of the nobleman. However kindly, just-minded, intelligent a man of the higher class may be, every soul there will hate and despise him during long years; they will neither understand nor believe in him, not one whit. He will be neither friend nor comrade in their eyes; if he can get them to stop insulting him it will be as much as he can do, but he will be alien to them from the first to the last, he will have to feel the grief of a ceaseless, hopeless, causeless solitude and sequestration. Sometimes it is the case that sheer ill-will on the part of the prisoners has nothing to do with bringing about this state of things, it simply cannot be helped; the nobleman is not one of the gang, and there’s the whole secret.
There is nothing more horrible than to live out of the social sphere to which you properly belong. The peasant, transported from Taganrog to Petropavlosk, finds there Russian peasants like himself; between him and them there can be mutual intelligence; in an hour they will be friends, and live comfortably together in the same izba or the same barrack. With the nobleman it is wholly otherwise; a bottomless abyss separates him from the lower classes, how deep and impassable is only seen when a nobleman forfeits his position and becomes as one of the populace himself. You may be your whole life in daily relations with the peasant, forty years you may do business with him regularly as the day comes—let us suppose it so, at all events—by the calls of official position or administrative duty; you may be his benefactor, all but a father to him—well, you’ll never know what is at the bottom of the man’s mind or heart. You may think you know something about him, but it is all optical illusion, nothing more. My readers will charge me with exaggeration, but I am convinced I am quite right. I don’t go on theory or book-reading in this; in my case the realities of life have given me only too ample time and opportunity for reviewing and correcting my theoretic convictions, which, as to this, are now fixed. Perhaps everybody will some day learn how well founded I am in what I say about this.
All this was theory when I first went into the convict establishment, but events, and things observed, soon came to confirm me in such views, and what I experienced so affected my system as to undermine its health. During the first summer I wandered about the place, so far as I was free to move, a solitary, friendless man. My moral situation was such that I could not distinguish those among the convicts who, in the sequel, managed to care for me a little in spite of the distance that always remained between us. There were there men of my own position, ex-nobles like myself, but their companionship was repugnant to me.
Here is one of the incidents which obliged me to see at the outset, how solitary a creature I was, and all the strangeness of my position at the place. One day in August, a fine warm day, about one o’clock in the afternoon, a time when, as a rule, everybody took a nap before resuming work, the convicts rose as one man and massed themselves in the court-yard. I had not the slightest idea, up to that moment, that anything was going on. So deeply had I been sunk in my own thoughts, that I saw nearly nothing of what was happening about me of any kind. But it seems that the convicts had been in a smouldering sort of unusual agitation for three days. Perhaps it had begun sooner; so I thought later when I remembered stray remarks, bits of talk that had come to my ears, the palpable increase of ill-humour among the prisoners, their unusual irritability for some time past. I had attributed it all to the trying summer work, the insufferably long days; to their dreaming about the woods, and freedom, which the season brought up; to the nights too short for rest. It may be that all these things came together to form a mass of discontent, that only wanted a tolerably good reason for exploding; it was found in the food.
For several days the convicts had not concealed their dissatisfaction with it in open talk in their barracks, and they showed it plainly when assembled for dinner or supper; one of the cooks had been changed, but, after a couple of days, the new comer was sent to the right-about, and the old one brought back. The restlessness and ill-humour were general; mischief was brewing.
“Here are we slaving to death, and they give us nothing but filth to eat,” grumbled one in the kitchen.
“If you don’t like it, why don’t you order jellies and blanc-mange?” said another.
“Sour cabbage soup, why, that’s good. I delight in it; there’s nothing more juicy,” exclaimed a third.
“Well, if they gave you nothing but beef, beef, beef, for ever and ever, would you like that?”
“Yes, yes; they ought to give us meat,” said a fourth; “one’s almost killed at the workshops; and, by heaven! when one has got through with work there one’s hungry, hungry; and you don’t get anything to satisfy your hunger.”
“It’s true, the victuals are simply damnable.”
“He fills his pockets, don’t you fear!”
“It isn’t your business.”
“Whose business is it? My belly’s my own. If we were all to make a row about it together, you’d soon see.”
“Yes.”
“Haven’t we been beaten enough for complaining, dolt that you are?”
“True enough! What’s done in a hurry is never well done. And how would you set about making a raid over it, tell me that?”
“I’ll tell you, by God! If everybody will go, I’ll go too, for I’m just dying of hunger. It’s all very well for those who eat at a better table, apart, to keep quiet; but those who eat the regulation food——”
“There’s a fellow with eyes that do their work, bursting with envy he is. Don’t his eyes glisten when he sees something that doesn’t belong to him?”
“Well, pals, why don’t we make up our minds? Have we gone through enough? They flay us, the brigands! Let’s go at them.”
“What’s the good? I tell you ye must chew what they give you, and stuff your mouth full of it. Look at the fellow, he wants people to chew his food for him. We’re in prison, and have got to stand it.”
“Yes, that’s it; we’re in prison.”
“That’s it always; the people die of hunger, and the Government fills its belly.”
“That’s true. Our eight-eyes (the Major) has got finely fat over it; he’s bought a pair of gray horses.”
“He don’t like his glass at all, that fellow,” said a convict ironically.
“He had a bout at cards a little while ago with the vet; for two hours he played without a half-penny in his pocket. Fedka told me so.”
“That’s why we get cabbage soup that’s fit for nothing.”
“You’re all idiots! It doesn’t matter; nothing matters.”
“I tell you if we all join in complaining we shall see what he has to say for himself. Let’s make up our minds.”
“Say for himself? You’ll get his fist on your pate; that’s just all.”
“I tell you they’ll have him up, and try him.”
All the prisoners were in great agitation; the truth is, the food was execrable. The general anguish, suffering, and suspense seemed to be coming to a head. Convicts are, by disposition, or, as such, quarrelsome and rebellious; but a general revolt is rare, for they can never agree upon it; we all of us felt that since there was, as a rule, more violent talk than doing.
This time, however, the agitation did not fall to the ground. The men gathered in groups in their barracks, talking things over in a violent way, and going over all the particulars of the Major’s misdoings, and trying to get to the bottom of them. In all affairs of that sort there are ringleaders and firebrands. The ringleaders on such occasions are generally rather remarkable fellows, not only in convict establishments, but among all large organisations of workmen, military detachments, etc. They are always people of a peculiar type, enthusiastic men, who have a thirst for justice, very naïve, simple, and strong, convinced that their desires are fully capable of realisation; they have as much sense as other people; some are of high intelligence; but they are too full of warmth and zeal to measure their acts. When you come across people who really do know how to direct the masses, and get what they want, you find a quite different sort of popular leaders, and one excessively rare among us Russians. The more usual type of leader, the one I first alluded to, does certainly in some sense accomplish their object, so far as bringing about a rising is concerned; but it all ends in filling up the prisons and convict establishments. Thanks to their impetuosity they always come off second-best; but it is this impetuosity that gives them their influences over the masses; their ardent, honest indignation does its work, and draws in the more irresolute. Their blind confidence of success seduces even the most hardened sceptics, although this confidence is generally based on such uncertain, childish reasons that it is wonderful how people can put faith in them.
The secret of their influence is that they put themselves at the head, and go ahead, without flinching. They dash forward, heads down, often without the least knowledge worth the name of what they are about, and have nothing about them of the jesuitical practical faculty by dint of which a vile and worthless man often hits his mark and comes uppermost, and will sometimes come all white out of a tub of ink. They must dash their skulls against stone walls. Under ordinary circumstances these people are bilious, irascible, intolerant, contemptuous, often very warm, which really after all is part of the secret of their strength. The deplorable thing is that they never go at what is the essential, the vital part of their task, they always go off at once into details instead of going straight to their mark, and this is their ruin. But they and the mob understand one another; that makes them formidable.
I must say a few words about this word “grievance.”
 
Some of the convicts had been transported in connection with a “grievance;” these were the most excited among them, notably a certain Martinoff, who had formerly served in the Hussars, an eager, restless, and choleric, but a worthy and truthful, fellow. Another, Vassili Antonoff, could work himself up into anger coolly and collectedly; he had a generally impudent expression, and a sarcastic smile, but he, too, was honest, and a man of his word, and of no little education. I won’t enumerate; there were plenty of them. Petroff went about in a hurried way from one group to another. He spoke few words, but he was quite as highly excited as any one there, for he was the first to spring out of the barrack when the others massed themselves in the court-yard.
Our sergeant, who acted as sergeant-major, came up very soon in quite a fright. The convicts got into rank, and politely begged him to tell the Major that they wanted to speak with him and put him a few questions. Behind the sergeant came all the invalids, who ranked themselves in face of the convicts. What they asked the sergeant to do frightened the man out of his wits almost, but he dared not refuse to go and report to the Major, for if the convicts mutinied, God only knows what might happen. All the men set over us showed themselves great poltroons in handling the prisoners; then, even if nothing further worse happened, if the convicts thought better of it and dispersed, the sub-officer was still in duty bound to inform the authorities of what had been going on. Pale, and trembling with fright, he went headlong to the Major, without even an effort to bring the convicts to reason. He saw that they were not minded to put up with any of his talk, no doubt.
Without the least idea of what was going on, I went into rank myself (it was only later that I heard the earlier details of the story). I thought that the muster-roll was to be called, but I did not see the soldiers who verify the lists, so I was surprised, and began to look about me a little. The men’s faces were working with emotion, and some were ghostly pale. They were sternly silent, and seemed to be thinking of what they should say to the Major. I observed that many of the convicts seemed to wonder at seeing me among them, but they turned their glances away from me. No doubt they thought it strange that I should come into the ranks with them, and join in their remonstrances, and could not quite believe it. Then they turned round to me again in a questioning sort of way.
“What are you doing here?” said Vassili Antonoff, in a loud, rude voice; he happened to be close to me, and a little way from the rest; the man had always hitherto been scrupulously polite to me.
I looked at him in perplexity, trying to understand what he meant by it; I began to see that something extraordinary was up in our prison.
“Yes, indeed, what are you about here? Go off into the barrack,” said a young fellow, a soldier-convict, whom I did not know till then, and who was a good, quiet lad, “this is none of your business.”
“Have we not fallen into rank,” I answered, “aren’t we going to be mustered?”
“Why, he’s come, too,” cried one of them.
“Iron-nose [18],” said another.
“Fly-killer,” added a third, with inexpressible contempt for me in his tone. This new nickname caused a general burst of laughter.
“These fellows are in clover everywhere. We are in prison, with hard labour, I rather fancy; they get wheat-bread and sucking-pig, like great lords as they are. Don’t you get your victuals by yourself? What are you doing here?”
“Your place is not here,” said Koulikoff to me brusquely, taking me by the hand and leading me out of the ranks.
He was himself very pale; his dark eyes sparkled with fire, he had bitten his under lip till the blood came; he wasn’t one of those who expected the Major without losing self-possession.
I liked to look at Koulikoff when he was in trying circumstances like these; then he showed himself just what he was in his strong points and weak. He attitudinised, but he knew how to act, too. I think he would have gone to his death with a certain affected elegance. While everybody was insulting me in words and tones, his politeness was greater than ever; but he spoke in a firm and resolved tone which admitted of no reply.
“We are here on business of our own, Alexander Petrovitch, and you’ve got to keep out of it. Go where you like and wait till it’s over ... here, your people are in the kitchens, go there.”
“They’re in hot quarters down there.”
I did in fact see our Poles at the open window of the kitchen, in company with a good many other convicts. I did not well know what to be at; but went there followed by laughter, insulting remarks, and that sort of muttered growling which is the prison substitute for the hissings and cat-calls of the world of freedom.
“He doesn’t like it at all! Chu, chu, chu! Seize him!”
I had never been so bitterly insulted since I was in the place. It was a very painful moment, but just what was to be expected in the excessive excitement the men were labouring under. In the ante-room I met T—vski, a young nobleman of not much information, but of firm, generous character; the convicts excepted him from the hatred they felt for the convicts of noble birth; they were almost fond of him; every one of his gestures denoted the brave and energetic man.
“What are you about, Goriantchikoff?” he cried to me; “come here, come here!”
“But what is it all about?”
“They are going to make a formal complaint, don’t you know it? It won’t do them a bit of good; who’ll pay any attention to convicts? They’ll try to find out the ringleaders, and if we are among them they’ll lay it all on us. Just remember what we have been transported for. They’ll only get a whipping, but we shall be put regularly to trial. The Major detests us all, and will be only too happy to ruin us; all his sins will fall on our shoulders.”
“The convicts would tie us hands and feet and sell us directly,” added M—tski, when we got into the kitchen.
“They’ll never have mercy on us,” added T—vski.
Besides the nobles there were in the kitchen about thirty other prisoners who did not want to join in the general complaints, some because they were afraid, others because of their conviction that the whole proceeding would prove quite useless. Akim Akimitch, who was a decided opponent of everything that savoured of complaint, or that could interfere with discipline and the usual routine, waited with great phlegm to see the end of the business, about which he did not care a jot. He was perfectly convinced that the authorities would put it all down immediately.
Isaiah Fomitch’s nose drooped visibly as he listened in a sort of frightened curiosity to what we said about the affair; he was much disturbed. With the Polish nobles were some inferior persons of the same nation, as well as some Russians, timid, dull, silent fellows, who had not dared to join the rest, and who waited in a melancholy way to see what the issue would be. There were also some morose, discontented convicts, who remained in the kitchen, not because they were afraid, but that they thought this half-revolt an absurdity which could not succeed; it seemed to me that these were not a little disturbed, and their faces were quite unsteady. They saw clearly that they were in the right, and that the issue of the movement would be what they had foretold, but they had a sort of feeling that they were traitors who had sold their comrades to the Major. Jolkin—the long-headed Siberian peasant sent to hard labour for coining, the man who got Koulikoff’s town practice from him—was there also, as well as the old man of Starodoub. None of the cooks had left their post, perhaps because they looked upon themselves as belonging specially to the authorities of the place, whom it would be unbecoming, therefore, to join in opposing.
“For all that,” said I to M—tski, “except these fellows, all the convicts are in it,” and no doubt I said it in a way that showed misgivings.
“I wonder what in the world we have to do with it?” growled B——.
“We should have risked a good deal more than they had we gone with them; and why? Je hais ces brigands [19]. Why, do you think that they’ll bring themselves up to the scratch after all? I can’t see what they want putting their heads in the lion’s mouth, the fools.”
“It’ll all come to nothing,” said some one, an obstinate, sour-tempered old fellow. Almazoff, who was with us too, agreed heartily in this.
“Some fifty of them will get a good beating, and that’s all the good they’ll all get out of it.”
“Here’s the Major!” cried one; everybody ran to the windows.
The Major had come up, spectacles and all, looking as wicked as might be, towering with passion, red as a turkey-cock. He came on without a word, and in a determined manner, right up to the line of the convicts. In conjunctures of this sort he showed uncommon pluck and presence of mind; but it ought not to be overlooked that he was nearly always half-seas over. Just then his greasy cap, with its yellow border, and his tarnished silver epaulettes, gave him a Mephistophelian look in my excited fancy. Behind him came the quartermaster, Diatloff, who was quite a personage in the establishment, for he was really at the bottom of all the authorities did. He was an exceedingly capable and cunning fellow, and wielded great influence with the Major. He was not by any means a bad sort of man, and the convicts were, in a general way, not ill-inclined towards him. Our sergeant followed him with three or four soldiers, no more; he had already had a tremendous wigging, and there was plenty more of the same to come, if he knew it. The convicts, who had remained uncovered, cap in hand, from the moment they sent for the Major, stiffened themselves, every man shifting his weight to the other leg; then they remained motionless, and waited for the first word, or the first shout rather, to come from him.
They had not long to wait. Before he had got more than one word out, the Major began to shout at the top of his voice; he was beside himself with rage. We saw him from the windows running all along the line of convicts, dashing at them here and there with angry questions. As we were a pretty good distance off, we could not hear what he said or their replies. We only heard his shouts, or rather what seemed shouting, groaning, and grunting beautifully mingled.
“Scoundrels! mutineers! to the cat with ye! Whips and sticks! The ringleaders? You’re one of the ringleaders!” throwing himself on one of them.
We did not hear the answer; but a minute after we saw this convict leave the ranks and make for the guard-house.
Another followed, then a third.
“I’ll have you up, every man of you. I’ll—— Who’s in the kitchen there?” he bawled, as he saw us at the open windows. “Here with all of you! Drive ’em all out, every man!”
Diatloff, the quartermaster, came towards the kitchens. When we had told him that we were not complaining of any grievance, he returned, and reported to the Major at once.
“Ah, those fellows are not in it,” said he, lowering his tone a bit, and much pleased. “Never mind, bring them along here.”
We left the kitchen. I could not help feeling humiliation; all of us went along with our heads down.
“Ah, Prokofief! Jolkin too; and you, Almazof! Here, come here, all the lump of you!” cried the Major to us, with a gasp; but he was somewhat softened, his tone was even obliging. “M—tski, you’re here too?... Take down the names. Diatloff, take down all the names, the grumblers in one list and the contented ones in another—all, without exception; you’ll give me the list. I’ll have you all before the Committee of Superintendence.... I’ll... brigands!”
This word “list” told.
“We’ve nothing to complain of!” cried one of the malcontents, in a half-strangled sort of voice.
“Ah, you’ve nothing to complain of! Who’s that? Let all those who have nothing to complain of step out of the ranks.”
“All of us, all of us!” came from some others.
“Ah, the food is all right, then? You’ve been put up to it. Ringleaders, mutineers, eh? So much the worse for them.”
“But, what do you mean by that?” came from a voice in the crowd.
“Where is the fellow that said that?” roared the Major, throwing himself to where the voice came from. “It was you, Rastorgouïef, you; to the guard-house with you.”
Rastorgouïef, a young, chubby fellow of high stature, left the ranks and went with slow steps to the guard-house. It was not he who had said it, but, as he was called out, he did not venture to contradict.
“You fellows are too fat, that’s what makes you unruly!” shouted the Major. “You wait, you hulking rascal, in three days you’d—— Wait! I’ll have it out with you all. Let all those who have nothing to complain of come out of the ranks, I say——”
“We’re not complaining of anything, your worship,” said some of the convicts with a sombre air; the rest preserved an obstinate silence. But the Major wanted nothing further; it was his interest to stop the thing with as little friction as might be.
“Ah, now I see! Nobody has anything to complain of,” said he. “I knew it, I saw it all. It’s ringleaders, there are ringleaders, by God,” he went on, speaking to Diatloff. “We must lay our hands on them, every man of them. And now—now—it’s time to go to your work. Drummer, there; drummer, a roll!”
He told them off himself in small detachments. The convicts dispersed sadly and silently, only too glad to get out of his sight. Immediately after the gangs went off, the Major betook himself to the guard-house, where he began to make his dispositions as to the “ringleaders,” but he did not push matters far. It was easy to see that he wanted to be done with the whole business as soon as possible. One of the men charged told us later that he had begged for forgiveness, and that the officer had let him go immediately. There can be no doubt that our Major did not feel firm in the saddle; he had had a fright, I fancy, for a mutiny is always a ticklish thing, and although this complaint of the convicts about the food did not amount really to mutiny (only the Major had been reported to about it, and the Governor himself), yet it was an uncomfortable and dangerous affair. What gave him most anxiety was that the prisoners had been unanimous in their movement, so their discontent had to be got over somehow, at any price. The ringleaders were soon set free. Next day the food was passable, but this improvement did not last long; on the days ensuing the disturbance, the Major went about the prison much more than usual, and always found something irregular to be stopped and punished. Our sergeant came and went in a puzzled, dazed sort of way, as if he could not get over his stupefaction at what had happened. As to the convicts, it took long for them to quiet down again, but their agitation seemed to wear quite a different character; they were restless and perplexed. Some went about with their heads down, without saying a word; others discussed the event in a grumbling, helpless kind of way. A good many said biting things about their own proceedings as though they were quite out of conceit with themselves.
“I say, pal, take and eat!” said one.
“Where’s the mouse that was so ready to bell the cat?”
“Let’s think ourselves lucky that he did not have us all well beaten.”
“It would be a good deal better if you thought more and chattered less.”
“What do you mean by lecturing me? Are you schoolmaster here, I’d like to know?”
“Oh, you want putting to the right-about.”
“Who are you, I’d like to know?”
“I’m a man! What are you?”
“A man! You’re——”
“You’re——”
“I say! Shut up, do! What’s the good of all this row?” was the cry from all sides.
On the evening of the day the “mutiny” took place, I met Petroff behind the barracks after the day’s work. He was looking for me. As he came near me, I heard him exclaim something, which I didn’t understand, in a muttering sort of way; then he said no more, and walked by my side in a listless, mechanical fashion.
“I say, Petroff, your fellows are not vexed with us, are they?”
“Who’s vexed?” he asked, as if coming to himself.
“The convicts with us—with us nobles.”
“Why should they be vexed?”
“Well, because we did not back them up.”
“Oh, why should you have kicked up a dust?” he answered, as if trying to enter into my meaning: “you have a table to yourselves, you fellows.”
“Oh, well, there are some of you, not nobles, who don’t eat the regulation food, and who went in with you. We ought to back you up, we’re in the same place; we ought to be comrades.”
“Oh, I say. Are you our comrades?” he asked, with unfeigned astonishment.
I looked at him; it was clear that he had not the least comprehension of my meaning; but I, on the other hand, entered only too thoroughly into his. I saw now, quite thoroughly, something of which I had before only a confused idea; what I had before guessed at was now sad certainty.
It was forced on my perceptions that any sort of real fellowship between the convicts and myself could never be; not even were I to remain in the place as long as life should last. I was a convict of the “special section,” a creature for ever apart. The expression of Petroff when he said, “are we comrades, how can that be?” remains, and will always remain before my eyes. There was a look of such frank, naïve surprise in it, such ingenuous astonishment that I could not help asking myself if there was not some lurking irony in the man, just a little spiteful mockery. Not at all, it was simply meant. I was not their comrade, and could not be; that was all. Go you to the right, we’ll go to the left! your business is yours, ours is ours.
I really fancied that, after the mutiny, they would attack us mercilessly so far as they dared and could, and that our life would become a hell. But nothing of the sort happened; we did not hear the slightest reproach, there was not even an unpleasant allusion to what had happened, it was all simply passed over. They went on teasing us as before when opportunity served, no more. Nobody seemed to bear malice against those who would not join in, but remained in the kitchens, or against those who were the first to cry out that they had nothing to complain of. It was all passed over without a word, to my exceeding astonishment.

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CHAPTER VIII. MY COMPANIONS

As will be understood, those to whom I was most drawn were people of my own sort, that is, those of “noble” birth, especially in the early days; but of the three ex-nobles in the place, who were Russians, I knew and spoke to but one, Akim Akimitch; the other two were the spy A—v, and the supposed parricide. Even with Akim I never exchanged a word except when in extremity, in moments when the melancholy on me was simply unendurable, and when I thought I really never should have the chance of getting close to any other human being again.
In the last chapter I have tried to show that the convicts were of different types, and tried to classify them; but when I think of Akim Akimitch I don’t know how to place him, he was quite sui generis, so far as I could observe, in that establishment.
There may be, elsewhere, men like him, to whom it seemed as absolutely a matter of indifference whether he was a free man, or in jail at hard labour; at that place he stood alone in this curious impartiality of temperament. He had settled down in the jail as if he was going to pass his whole life, and didn’t mind it at all. All his belongings, mattress, cushions, utensils, were so ordered as to give the impression that he was living in a furnished house of his own; there was nothing provisional, temporary, bivouac-like, about him, or his words, or his habits. He had a good many years still to spend in punishment, but I much doubt whether he ever gave a thought to the time when he would get out. He was entirely reconciled to his condition, not because he had made any effort to be so, but simply out of natural submissiveness; but, as far as his comfort went, it came to the same thing. He was not at all a bad fellow, and in the early days his advice and help were quite useful to me; but sometimes, I can’t help saying it, his peculiarities deepened my natural melancholy until it became almost intolerable anguish.
When I became desperate with silence and solitude of soul, I would get into talk with him; I wanted to hear, and reply to some words falling from a living soul, and the more filled with gall and hatred with all our surroundings they had been, the more would they have been in sympathy with my wretched mood; but he would just barely talk, quietly go on sizing his lanterns, and then begin to tell me some story as to how he had been at a review of troops in 18—, that their general of division was so-and-so, that the manœuvring had been very pretty, that there had been a change in the skirmisher’s system of signalling, and the like; all of it in level imperturbable tones, like water falling drop by drop. He did not put any life into them even when he told me of a sharp affair in which he had been, in the Caucasus, for which his sword had got the decoration of the Riband of St. Anne. The only difference was, that his voice became a little more measured and grave; he lowered his tones when he pronounced the name “St. Anne,” as though he were telling a great secret, and then, for three minutes at least, did not utter a word, but only looked solemn.
During all that first year I had strange passages of feeling, in which I hated Akim Akimitch with a bitter hatred, I am sure I cannot say why, moments when I would despairingly curse the fate which made him my next neighbour on my camp-bed, so close indeed that our heads nearly touched. An hour afterwards I bitterly reproached myself for such extravagance. It was, however, only during my first year of confinement that these violent feelings overpowered me. As time went on, I got used to Akim Akimitch’s singular character, and was ashamed of my former explosions. I don’t remember that he and I ever got into anything like an open quarrel.
Besides the three Russian nobles of whom I have spoken, there were eight others there during my time; with some of whom I came to be on a footing of intimate friendship. Even the best of them were morbid in mind, exclusive, and intolerant to the very last degree; with two of them I was obliged to discontinue all spoken intercourse. There were only three who had any education, B—ski, M—tski, and the old man, J—ski, who had formerly been a professor of mathematics, an excellent fellow, highly eccentric, and of very narrow mental horizon in spite of his learning. M—tski and B—ski were of a mould quite different from his. Between M—tski and myself there was an excellent understanding from the first set-off. He and I never once got into any sort of dispute; I respected him highly, but could never become sincerely attached to him, though I tried to. He was sour, embittered, and mistrustful, with much self-control; this was quite antipathetic to me; the man had a closed soul, closed to everybody, and he made you feel it. I felt it so strongly that perhaps I was wrong about it. After all, his character, I must say, was stamped with both nobleness and strength. His inveterate scepticism made him very prudent in his relations with everybody about him, and in conducting these he gave proof of remarkable tact and skill. Sceptic as he was, there was another and a reverse side in his nature, for in some things he was a profound and unalterable believer with faith and hope unshakable. In spite of his tact in dealing with men, he got into open hostilities with B—ski and his friend T—ski.
The first of these, B—ski, was a man of infirm health, of consumptive tendency, irascible, and of a weak, nervous system; but a good and generous man. His nervous irritability went so far that he was as capricious as a child; a temperament of that kind was too much for me there, so I soon saw as little of B—ski as I could possibly help, though I never ceased to like him much. It was just the other way so far as M—tski was concerned; with him I always was on easy terms, though I did not like him at all. When I edged away from B—ski, I had to break also, more or less, with T—ski, of whom I spoke in the last chapter, which I much regretted, for, though of little education, he had an excellent heart; a worthy, very spiritual man. He loved and respected B—ski so much that those who broke with that friend of his he regarded as his personal enemies. He quarrelled with M—tski on account of B—ski, and they kept up the difference a long while. All these people were as bilious as they could be, humoursome, mistrustful, the victims of a moral and physical supersensitiveness. It is not to be wondered at; their position was trying indeed, much more so than ours; they were all exiled, transported, for ten or twelve years; and what made their sojourn in the prison most distressing to them was their rooted, ingrained prejudice, especially their unfortunate way of regarding the convicts, which they could not get over; in their eyes the unhappy fellows were mere wild beasts, without a single recognisable human quality. Everything in their previous career and their present circumstances combined to produce this unhappy feeling in them.
Their life at the jail was perpetual torment to them. They were kindly and conversible with the Circassians, with the Tartars, with Isaiah Fomitch; but for the other prisoners they had nothing but contempt and aversion. The only one they had any real respect for was the aged “old believer.” For all this, during all the time I spent at the convict establishment, I never knew a single prisoner to reproach them with either their birth, or religious opinions, or convictions, as is so usual with our common people in their relations with people of different condition, especially if these happen to be foreigners. The fact is, they cannot take the foreigner seriously; to the Russian common people he seems a merely grotesque, comical creature. Our convicts had and showed much more respect for the Polish nobles than for us Russians, but I don’t think the Poles cared about the matter, or took any notice of the difference.
I spoke just now of T—ski, and have something more to say of him. When he had with his friend to leave the first place assigned to them as residence in their banishment to come to our fortress, he carried his friend B—— nearly the whole way. B—— was of quite a weak frame, and in bad health, and became exhausted before half of the first march was accomplished. They had first been banished to Y—gorsk, where they lived in tolerable comfort; life was much less hard there than in our fortress. But in consequence of a correspondence with the exiles in one of the other towns—a quite innocent exchange of letters—it was thought necessary to remove them to our jail to be under the more direct surveillance of the government. Until they came M—tski had been quite alone, and dreadful must have been his sufferings in that first year of his banishment.
J—ski was the old man always deep in prayer, of whom I spoke a little earlier. All the political convicts were quite young men while J—ski was at least fifty years old. He was a worthy, gentlemanlike person, if eccentric. T—ski and B—ski detested him, and never spoke to him; they insisted upon it that he was too obstinate and troublesome to put up with, and I was obliged to admit it was so. I believe that at a convict establishment—as in every place where people have to be together, whether they like it or not—people are more ready to quarrel with and detest one another than under other circumstances. Many causes contributed to the squabbles that were, unfortunately, always going on. J—ski was really disagreeable and narrow-minded; not one of those about him was on good terms with him. He and I did not come to a rupture, but we were never on a really friendly footing. I fancy that he was a strong mathematician. One day he explained to me in his half-Russian, half-Polish jargon, a system of astronomy of his own; I have been told that he had written a work upon the subject which the learned world had received with derision; I fancy his reasonings on some things had got twisted. He used to be on his knees praying for a whole day sometimes, which made the convicts respect him exceedingly during the remnant of life he had to pass there; he died under my eyes at the jail after a very trying illness. He had won the consideration of the prisoners, from the first moment of his coming in, on account of what had happened with the Major and him. When they were brought afoot from Y—gorsk to our fortress, they were not shaved on the road at all, their hair and beards had grown to great lengths when they were brought before the Major. That worthy foamed like a madman; he was wild with indignation at such infraction of discipline, though it was none of their fault.
“My God! did you ever see anything like it?” he roared; “they are vagabonds, brigands.”
J—ski knew very little Russian, and fancied that he was asking them if they were brigands or vagabonds, so he answered:
“We are political prisoners, not rogues and vagabonds.”
“So-o-o! You mean impudence! Clod!” howled the Major. “To the guard-house with him; a hundred strokes of the rod at once, this instant, I say!”
They gave the old man the punishment; he lay flat on the ground under the strokes without the slightest resistance, kept his hand in his teeth, and bore it all without a murmur, and without moving a muscle. B—ski and T—ski arrived at the jail as this was all going on, and M—ski was waiting for them at the principal gate, knowing that they were just coming in; he threw himself on their neck, although he had never seen them before. Utterly disgusted at the way the Major had received them, they told M—ski all about the cruel business that had just occurred. M—ski told me later that he was quite beside himself with rage when he heard it.
“I could not contain myself for passion,” he said, “I shook as though with ague. I waited for J—ski at the great gate, for he would come straight that way from the guard-house after his punishment. The gate was opened, and there I saw pass before me J—ski, his lips all white and trembling, his face pale as death; he did not look at a single person, and passed through the groups of convicts assembled in the court-yard—they knew a noble had just been subjected to punishment—went into the barrack, went straight to his place, and, without a word, dropped down on his knees for prayer. The prisoners were surprised and even affected. When I saw this old man with white hairs, who had left behind him at home a wife and children, kneeling and praying after that scandalous treatment, I rushed away from the barrack, and for a couple of hours felt as if I had gone stark, staring, raving mad, or blind drunk.... From that first moment the convicts were full of deference and consideration for J—ski; what particularly pleased them, was that he did not utter a cry when undergoing the punishment.”
But one must be fair and tell the truth about this sort of thing; this sad story is not an instance of what frequently occurs in the treatment by the authorities of transported noblemen, Russian or Polish; and this isolated case affords no basis for passing judgment upon that treatment. My anecdote merely shows that you may light upon a bad man anywhere and everywhere. And if it happen that such a one is in absolute command of a jail, and if he happen to have a grudge against one of the prisoners, the lot of such a one will be indeed very far from enviable. But the administrative chiefs who regulate and supervise convict labour in Siberia, and from whom subordinates take their tone as well as their orders, are careful to exercise a discriminating treatment in the case of persons of noble birth, and, in some cases, grant them special indulgences as compared with the lot of convicts of lower condition. There are obvious reasons for this; these heads of departments are nobles themselves, they know that men of that class must not be driven to extremity; cases have been known where nobles have refused to submit to corporal punishment, and flung themselves desperately on their tormentors with very grave and serious consequences indeed; moreover—and this, I think, is the leading cause of the good treatment—some time ago, thirty-five years at least, there were transported to Siberia quite a crowd of noblemen [20]; these were of such correct and irreproachable demeanour, and held themselves so high, that the heads of departments fell into the way, which they never afterwards left, of regarding criminals of noble birth and ordinary convicts in quite a different manner; and men in lower place took their cue from them.
Many of these, no doubt, were little pleased with that disposition in their superiors; such persons were pleased enough when they could do exactly as they liked in the matter, but this did not often happen, they were kept well within bounds; I have reason to be satisfied of this and I will say why. I was put in the second category, a classification of those condemned to hard labour, which was primarily and principally composed of convicts who had been serfs, under military superintendence; now this second category, or class, was much harder than the first (of the mines) or the third (manufacturing work). It was harder, not only for the nobles but for the other convicts too, because the governing and administrative methods and personnel in it were wholly military, and were pretty much the same in type as those of the convict establishments in Russia. The men in official position were severer, the general treatment more rigorous than in the two other classes; the men were never out of irons, an escort of soldiers was always present, you were always, or nearly so, within stone walls; and things were quite different in the other classes, at least so the convicts said, and there were those among them who had every reason to know. They would all have gladly gone off to the mines, which the law classified as the worst and last punishment, it was their constant dream and desire to do so. All those who had been in the Russian convict establishments spoke with horror of them, and declared that there was no hell like them, that Siberia was a paradise compared with confinement in the fortresses in Russia.
If, then, it is the case that we nobles were treated with special consideration in the establishment I was confined in, which was under direct control of the Governor-General, and administered entirely on military principles, there must have been some greater kindliness in the treatment of the convicts of the first and third category or class. I think I can speak with some authority about what went on throughout Siberia in these respects, and I based my views, as to this, upon all that I heard from convicts of these classes. We, in our prison, were under much more rigorous surveillance than was elsewhere practised; we were favoured with no sort of exemptions from the ordinary rules as regards work and confinement, and the wearing of chains; we could not do anything for ourselves to get immunity from the rules, for I, at least, knew quite well that, in the good old time which was quite of yesterday, there had been so much intriguing to undermine the credit of officials that the authorities were greatly afraid of informers, and that, as things stood, to show indulgence to a convict was regarded as a crime. Everybody, therefore, authorities and convicts alike, was in fear of what might happen; we of the nobles were thus quite down to the level of the other convicts; the only point we were favoured in was in regard to corporal punishment—but I think that we should have had even that inflicted on us had we done anything for which it was prescribed, for equality as to punishment was strictly enjoined or practised; what I mean is, that we were not wantonly, causelessly, mishandled like the other prisoners.
When the Governor got to know of the punishment inflicted on J—ski, he was seriously angry with the Major, and ordered him to be more careful for the future. The thing got very generally known. We learned also that the Governor-General, who had great confidence in our Major, and who liked him because of his exact observance of legal bounds, and thought highly of his qualities in the service, gave him a sharp scolding. And our Major took the lesson to heart. I have no doubt it was this prevented his having M—ski beaten, which he would much have liked to do, being much influenced by the slanderous things A—f said about M——; but the Major could never get a fair pretext for doing so, however much he persecuted and set spies upon his proposed victim; so he had to deny himself that pleasure. The J—ski affair became known all through the town, and public opinion condemned the Major; some persons reproached him openly for what he had done, and some even insulted him.
The first occasion on which the man crossed my path may as well be mentioned. We had alarming things reported to us—to me and another nobleman under sentence—about the abominable character of this man, while we were still at Tobolsk. Men who had been sentenced a long while back to twenty-five years of the misery, nobles as we were, and who had visited us so kindly during our provisional sojourn in the first prison, had warned us what sort of man we were to be under; they had also promised to do all they could for us with their friends to see that he hurt us as little as possible. And, in fact, they did write to the three daughters of the Governor-General, who, I believe, interceded on our behalf with their father. But what could he do? No more, of course, than tell the Major to be fair in applying the rules and regulations to our case. It was about three in the afternoon that my companion and myself arrived in the town; our escort took us at once to our tyrant. We remained waiting for him in the ante-chamber while they went to find the next-in-command at the prison. As soon as the latter had come, in walked the Major. We saw an inflamed scarlet face that boded no good, and affected us quite painfully; he seemed like a sort of spider about to throw itself on a poor fly wriggling in its web.
“What’s your name, man?” said he to my companion. He spoke with a harsh, jerky voice, as if he wanted to overawe us.
My friend gave his name.
“And you?” said he, turning to me and glaring at me behind his spectacles.
I gave mine.
“Sergeant! take ’em to the prison, and let ’em be shaved at the guard-house, civilian-fashion, hair off half their skulls, and let ’em be put in irons to-morrow. Why, what sort of cloaks have you got there?” said he brutally, when he saw the gray cloaks with yellow sewn at the back which they had given to us at Tobolsk. “Why, that’s a new uniform, begad—a new uniform! They’re always getting up something or other. That’s a Petersburg trick,” he said, as he inspected us one after the other. “Got anything with them?” he said abruptly to the gendarme who escorted us.
“They’ve got their own clothes, your worship,” replied he; and the man carried arms, just as if on parade, not without a nervous tremor. Everybody knew the fellow, and was afraid of him.
“Take their clothes away from them. They can’t keep anything but their linen, their white things; take away all their coloured things if they’ve got any, and sell them off at the next sale, and put the money to the prison account. A convict has no property,” said he, looking severely at us. “Hark ye! Behave prettily; don’t let me have any complaining. If I do—cat-o’-nine-tails! The smallest offence, and to the sticks you go!”
This way of receiving me, so different from anything I had ever known, made me nearly ill that night. It was a frightful thing to happen at the very moment of entering the infernal place. But I have already told that part of my story.
Thus we had no sort of exemption or immunity from any of the miseries inflicted there, no lightening of our labours when with the other convicts; but friends tried to help us by getting us sent for three months, B—ski and me, to the bureau of the Engineers, to do copying work. This was done quietly, and as much as possible kept from being talked about or observed. This piece of kindness was done for us by the head engineers, during the short time that Lieutenant-Colonel G—kof was Governor at our prison. This gentleman had command there only for six short months, for he soon went back to Russia. He really seemed to us all like an angel of goodness sent from heaven, and the feeling for him among the convicts was of the strongest kind; it was not mere love, it was something like adoration. I cannot help saying so. How he did it I don’t know, but their hearts went out to him from the moment they first set eyes on him.
“He’s more like a father than anything else,” the prisoners kept continually saying during all the time he was there at the head of the engineering department. He was a brilliant, joyous fellow. He was of low stature, with a bold, confident expression, and he was all gracious kindness to the convicts, for whom he really did seem to entertain a fatherly sort of affection. How was it he was so fond of them? It is hard to say, but he seemed never to be able to pass a prisoner without a bit of pleasant talk and a little laughing and joking together. There was nothing that smacked of authority in his pleasantries, nothing that reminded them of his position over them. He behaved just as if he was one of themselves. In spite of this kind condescension, I don’t remember any one of the convicts ever failing in respect to him or taking the slightest liberty—quite the other way. The convict’s face would light up in a wonderful, sudden way when he met the Governor; it was odd to see how the face smiled all over, and the hand went to the cap, when the Governor was seen in the distance making for the poor man. A word from him was regarded as a signal honour. There are some people like that, who know how to win all hearts.
G—kof had a bold, jaunty air, walked with long strides, holding himself very straight; “a regular eagle,” the convicts used to call him. He could not do much to lighten their lot materially, for his office was that of superintending the engineering work, which had to be done in ways and quantities, settled absolutely and unalterably by the regulations. But if he happened to come across a gang of convicts who had actually got through their work, he allowed them to go back to quarters before beat of drum, without waiting for the regulation moment. The prisoners loved him for the confidence he showed in them, and because of his aversion for all mean, trifling interferences with them, which are so irritating when prison superiors are addicted to that sort of thing. I am absolutely certain that if he had lost a thousand roubles in notes, there was not a thief in the prison, however hardened, who would not have brought them to him, if the man lit on them. I am sure of it.
How the prisoners all felt for him, and with him when they learned that he was at daggers drawn with our detested Major. That came about a month after his arrival. Their delight knew no bounds. The Major had formerly served with him in the same detachment; so, when they met, after a long separation, they were at first boon companions, but the intimacy could not and did not last. They came to blows—figuratively—and G—kof became the Major’s sworn enemy. Some would have it that it was more than figuratively, that they came to actual fisticuffs, a likely thing enough as far as the Major was concerned, for the man had no objection to a scrimmage.
When the convicts heard of the quarrel they really could not contain their delight.
“Old Eight-eyes and the Commandant get on finely together! He’s an eagle; but the other’s a bad ’un!”
Those who believed in the fight were mighty curious to know which of the two had had the worst of it, and got a good drubbing. If it had been proved there had been no fighting our convicts, I think, would have been bitterly disappointed.
“The Commandant gave him fits, you may bet your life on it,” said they; “he’s a little ’un, but as bold as a lion; the other one got into a blue funk, and hid under the bed from him.”
But G—kof went away only too soon, and keenly was he regretted in the prison.
Our engineers were all most excellent fellows; we had three or four fresh batches of them while I was there.
“Our eagles never remain very long with us,” said the prisoners; “especially when they are good and kind fellows.”
It was this G—kof who sent B—ski and myself to work in his bureau, for he was partial to exiled nobles. When he left, our condition was still fairly endurable, for there was another engineer there who showed us much sympathy and friendship. We copied reports for some time, and our handwriting was getting to be very good, when an order came from the authorities that we were to be sent back to hard labour as before; some spiteful person had been at work. At bottom we were rather pleased, for we were quite tired of copying.
For two whole years I worked in company with B—ski, all the time in the shops, and many a gossip did we have about our hopes for the future and our notions and convictions. Good B—ski had a very odd mind, which worked in a strange, exceptional way. There are some people of great intelligence who indulge in paradox unconscionably; but when they have undergone great and constant sufferings for their ideas and made great sacrifices for them, you can’t drive their notions out of their heads, and it is cruel to try it. When you objected something to B—ski’s propositions, he was really hurt, and gave you a violent answer. He was, perhaps, more in the right than I was as to some things wherein we differed, but we were obliged to give one another up, very much to my regret, for we had many thoughts in common.
As years went on M—tski became more and more sombre and melancholy; he became a prey to despair. During the earliest part of my imprisonment he was communicative enough, and let us see what was going on in him. When I arrived at the prison he had just finished his second year. At first he took a lively interest in the news I brought, for he knew nothing of what had been going on in the outer world; he put questions to me, listened eagerly, showed emotion, but, bit by bit, his reserve grew on him and there was no getting at his thoughts. The glowing coals were all covered up with ashes. Yet it was plain that his temper grew sourer and sourer. “Je hais ces brigands,” he would say, speaking of convicts I had got to know something of; I never could make him see any good in them. He really did not seem to fully enter into the meaning of anything I said on their behalf, though he would sometimes seem to agree in a listless sort of way. Next day it was just as before: “Je hais ces brigands.” (We used often to speak French with him; so one of the overseers of the works, the soldier, Dranichnikof, used always to call us aides chirurgiens, God knows why!) M—tski never seemed to shake off his usual apathy except when he spoke of his mother.
“She is old and infirm,” he said; “she loves me better than anything in the world, and I don’t even know if she’s still living. If she learns that I’ve been whipped——”
M—tski was not a noble, and had been whipped before he was transported. When the recollection of this came up in his mind he gnashed his teeth, and could not look anybody in the face. In the latest days of his imprisonment he used to walk to and fro, quite alone for the most part. One day, at noon, he was summoned to the Governor, who received him with a smile on his lips.
“Well, M—tski, what were your dreams last night?” asked the Governor.
Said M—tski to me later, “When he said that to me a shudder ran through me; I felt struck at the heart.”
His answer was, “I dreamed that I had a letter from my mother.”
“Better than that, better!” replied the Governor. “You are free; your mother has petitioned the Emperor, and he has granted her prayer. Here, here’s her letter, and the order for your dismissal. You are to leave the jail without delay.”
He came to us pale, scarcely able to believe in his good fortune.
We congratulated him. He pressed our hands with his own, which were quite cold, and trembled violently. Many of the convicts wished him joy; they were really glad to see his happiness.
He settled in Siberia, establishing himself in our town, where a little after that they gave him a place. He used often to come to the jail to bring us news, and tell us all that was going on, as often as he could talk with us. It was political news that interested him chiefly.
Besides the four Poles, the political convicts of whom I spoke just now, there were two others of that nation, who were sentenced for very short periods; they had not much education, but were good, simple, straightforward fellows. There was another, A—tchoukooski, quite a colourless person; one more I must mention, B—in, a man well on in years, who impressed us all very unfavourably indeed. I don’t know what he had been sentenced for, although he used to tell us some story or other about it pretty frequently. He was a person of a vulgar, mean type, with the coarse manner of an enriched shopkeeper. He was quite without education, and seemed to take interest in nothing except what concerned his trade, which was that of a painter, a sort of scene-painter he was; he showed a good deal of talent in his work, and the authorities of the prison soon came to know about his abilities, so he got employment all through the town in decorating walls and ceilings. In two years he beautified the rooms of nearly all the prison officials, who remunerated him handsomely, so he lived pretty comfortably. He was sent to work with three other prisoners, two of whom learned the business thoroughly; one of these, T—jwoski, painted nearly as well as B—in himself. Our Major, who had rooms in one of the government buildings, sent for B—in, and gave him a commission to decorate the walls and ceilings there, which he did so effectively, that the suite of rooms of the Governor-General were quite put out of countenance by those of the Major. The house itself was a ramshackle old place, while the interior, thanks to B—in, was as gay as a palace. Our worthy Major was hugely delighted, went about rubbing his hands, and told everybody that he should look out for a wife at once, “a fellow can’t remain single when he lives in a place like that;” he was quite serious about it. The Major’s satisfaction with B—in and his assistants went on increasing. They occupied a month in the work at the Major’s house. During those memorable days the Major seemed to get into a different frame of mind about us, and began to be quite kind to us political prisoners. One day he sent for J—ski.
“J—ski,” said he, “I’ve done you wrong; I had you beaten for nothing. I’m very sorry. Do you understand? I’m very sorry. I, Major ——”
J—ski answered that he understood perfectly.
“Do you understand? I, who am set over you, I have sent for you to ask your pardon. You can hardly realise it, I suppose. What are you to me, fellow? A worm, less than a crawling worm; you’re a convict, while I, by God’s grace [21], am a Major; Major ——, do you understand?”
J—ski answered that he quite well understood it all.
“Well, I want to be friends with you. But can you appreciate what I’m doing? Can you feel the greatness of soul I’m showing—feel and appreciate it? Just think of it; I, I, the Major!” etc. etc.
J—ski told me of this scene. There was, then, some human feeling left in this drunken, unruly, and tormenting brute. Allowing for the man’s notions of things, and feeble faculties, one cannot deny that this was a generous proceeding on his part. Perhaps he was a little less drunk than usual, perhaps more; who can tell?
The Major’s glorious idea of marrying came to nothing; the rooms got all their bravery, but the wife was not forthcoming. Instead of going to the altar in that agreeable way, he was pulled up before the authorities and sent to trial. He received orders to send in his resignation. Some of his old sins had found him out, it seems; things done when he had been superintendent of police in our town. This crushing blow came down upon him without notice, quite suddenly. All the convicts were greatly rejoiced when they heard the great news; it was high day and holiday all through the jail. The story went abroad that the Major sobbed, and cried, and howled like an old woman. But he was helpless in the matter. He was obliged to leave his place, sell his two gray horses, and everything he had in the world; and he fell into complete destitution. We came across him occasionally afterwards in civilian, threadbare clothes, and wearing a cap with a cockade; he glanced at us convicts as spitefully and maliciously as you please. But without his Major’s uniform, all the man’s glory was gone. While placed over us, he gave himself the airs of a being higher than human, who had got into coat and breeches; now it was all over, he looked like the lackey he was, and a disgraced lackey to boot.
With fellows of this sort, the uniform is the only saving grace; that gone, all’s gone.

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CHAPTER IX. THE ESCAPE

A little while after the Major resigned, our prison was subjected to a thorough reorganization. The “hard labour” hitherto inflicted, and the other regulations, were abolished, and the place put upon the footing of the military convict establishments of Russia. As a result of this, prisoners of the second category were no longer sent there; this class was, for the future, to be composed of prisoners who were regarded as still on the military footing, that is to say, men who, in spite of sentence, did not forfeit for ever their civic status. They were soldiers still, but had undergone corporal punishment; they were sentenced for comparatively short periods, six years at most; when they had served their time, or in case of pardon, they went into the ranks again, as before. Men guilty of a second offence were sentenced to twenty years of imprisonment. Up to the time I speak of, we had a section of soldier-prisoners among us, but only because they did not know where else to dispose of them. Now the place was to be occupied by soldiers exclusively. As to the civilian convicts, who were stripped of all civic rights, branded, cropped, and shaven, these were to remain in the fortress to finish their time; but as no fresh prisoners of this class were to come in, and those there would get their discharge successively, at the end of ten years there would be no civilian convicts left in the place, according to the arrangements. The line of division between the classes of prisoners there was maintained; from time to time there came in other military criminals of high position, sent to our place for security, before being forwarded to Eastern Siberia, for the more aggravated penalties that awaited them there.
There was no change in our general way of life. The work we had to do and the discipline observed were the same as before; but the administrative system was entirely altered, and made more complex. An officer, commandant of companies, was assigned to be at the head of the prison; he had under his orders four subaltern officers who mounted guard by turns. The “invalids” were superseded by twelve non-commissioned officers, and an arsenal superintendent. The convicts were divided into sections of ten, and corporals chosen among them; the power of these over the others was, as may be supposed, nominal. As might be expected, Akim Akimitch got this promotion.
All these new arrangements were confided to the Governor to carry out, who remained in superior command over the whole establishment. The changes did not go further than this. At first the convicts were not a little excited by this movement, and discussed their new guardians a good deal among themselves, trying to make out what sort of fellows they were; but when they saw that everything went on pretty much as usual they quieted down, and things resumed their ordinary course. We had got rid of the Major, and that was something; everybody took fresh breath and fresh courage. The fear that was in all hearts grew less; we had some assurance that in case of need we could go to our superiors and lodge our complaint, and that a man could not be punished without cause, and would not, unless by mistake.
Brandy was brought in as before, although we had subaltern officers now where “invalids” were before. These subalterns were all worthy, careful men, who knew their place and business. There were some among them who had the idea that they might give themselves grand airs, and treat us like common soldiers, but they soon gave it up and behaved like the others. Those who did not seem to be well able to get into their heads what the ways of our prison really were, had sharp lessons about it from the convicts themselves, which led to some lively scenes. One sub-officer was confronted with brandy, which was of course too much for him; when he was sober again we had a little explanation with him; we pointed out that he had been drinking with the prisoners, and that, accordingly, etc. etc.; he became quite tractable. The end of it was that the subalterns closed their eyes to the brandy business. They went to market for us, just as the invalids used to, and brought the prisoners white bread, meat, anything that could be got in without too much risk. So I never could understand why they had gone to the trouble of turning the place into a military prison. The change was made two years before I left the place; I had two years to bear of it still.
I see little use in recording all I saw and went through later at the convict establishment day by day. If I were to tell it all, all the daily and hourly occurrences, I might write twice or thrice as many chapters as this book ought to contain, but I should simply tire the reader and myself. Substantially all that I might write has been already embodied in the narrative as it stands so far; and the reader has had the opportunity of getting a tolerable idea of what the life of a convict of the second class really was. My wish has been to portray the state of things at the establishment, and as it affected myself, accurately and yet forcibly; whether I have done so others must judge. I cannot pronounce upon my own work, but I think I may well draw it to a close; as I move among these recollections of a dreadful past, the old suffering comes up again and all but strangles me.
Besides, I cannot be sure of my memory as to all I saw in these last years, for the faculty seems blunted as regards the later compared with the earlier period of my imprisonment, there is a good deal I am sure I have quite forgotten. But I remember only too well how very, very slow these last two years were, how very sad, how the days seemed as if they never would come to evening, something like water falling drop by drop. I remember, too, that I was filled with a mighty longing for my resurrection from that grave which gave me strength to bear up, to wait, and to hope. And so I got to be hardened and enduring; I lived on expectation, I counted every passing day; if there were a thousand more of them to pass at the prison I found satisfaction in thinking that one of them was gone, and only nine hundred and ninety-nine to come. I remember, too, that though I had round me a hundred persons in like case, I felt myself more and more solitary, and though the solitude was awful I came to love it. Isolated thus among the convict-crowd I went over all my earlier life, analysing its events and thoughts minutely; I passed my former doings in review, and sometimes was pitiless in condemnation of myself; sometimes I went so far as to be grateful to fate for the privilege of such loneliness, for only that could have caused me so severely to scrutinise my past, so searchingly to examine its inner and outer life. What strong and strange new germs of hope came in those memorable hours up in my soul! I weighed and decided all sorts of issues, I entered into a compact with myself to avoid the errors of former years, and the rocks on which I had been wrecked; I laid down a programme for my future, and vowed that I would stick to it; I had a sort of blind and complete conviction that, once away from that place, I should be able to carry out everything I made my mind up to; I looked for my freedom with transports of eager desire; I wanted to try my strength in a renewed struggle with life; sometimes I was clutched, as by fangs, by an impatience which rose to fever heat. It is painful to go back to these things, most painful; nobody, I know, can care much about it at all except myself; but I write because I think people will understand, and because there are those who have been, those who yet will be, like myself, condemned, imprisoned, cut off from life, in the flower of their age, and in the full possession of all their strength.
But all this is useless. Let me end my memoirs with a narrative of something interesting, for I must not close them too abruptly.
What shall it be? Well, it may occur to some to ask whether it was quite impossible to escape from the jail, and if during the time I spent there no attempt of the kind was made. I have already said that a prisoner who has got through two or three years thinks a good deal of it, and, as a rule, concludes that it is best to finish his time without running more risks, so that he may get his settlement, on the land or otherwise, when set at liberty. But those who reckon in this way are convicts sentenced for comparatively short times; those who have many years to serve are always ready to run some chances. For all that the attempts at escape were quite infrequent. Whether that was attributable to the want of spirit in the convicts, the severity of the military discipline enforced, or, after all, to the situation of the town, little favourable to escapes, for it was in the midst of the open steppe, I really cannot say. All these motives no doubt contributed to give pause. It was difficult enough to get out of the prison at all; in my time two convicts tried it; they were criminals of importance.
When our Major had been got rid of, A—v, the spy, was quite alone with nobody to back him up. He was still quite young, but his character grew in force with every year; he was a bold, self-asserting fellow, of considerable intelligence. I think if they had set him at liberty he would have gone on spying and getting money in every sort of shameful way, but I don’t think he would have let himself be caught again; he would have turned his experiences as a convict to far too much good for that. One trick he practised was that of forging passports, at least so I heard from some of the convicts. I think this fellow was ready to risk everything for a change in his position. Circumstances gave me the opportunity of getting to the bottom of this man’s disposition and seeing how ugly it was; he was simply revolting in his cold, deep wickedness, and my disgust with him was more than I could get over. I do believe that if he wanted a drink of brandy, and could only have got it by killing some one, he would not have hesitated one moment if it was pretty certain the crime would not come out. He had learned there, in that jail, to look on everything in the coolest calculating way. It was on him that the choice of Koulikoff—of the special section—fell, as we are to see.
I have spoken before of Koulikoff. He was no longer young, but full of ardour, life, and vigour, and endowed with extraordinary faculties. He felt his strength, and wanted still to have a life of his own; there are some men who long to live in a rich, abounding life, even when old age has got hold of them. I should have been a good deal surprised if Koulikoff had not tried to escape; but he did. Which of the two, Koulikoff and A—v, had the greater influence over the other I really cannot say; they were a goodly couple, and suited each other to a hair, so they soon became as thick as possible. I fancy that Koulikoff reckoned on A—v to forge a passport for him; besides, the latter was of the noble class, belonged to good society, a circumstance out of which a good deal could be made if they managed to get back into Russia. Heaven only knows what compacts they made, or what plans and hopes they formed; if they got as far as Russia they would at all events leave behind them Siberia and vagabondage. Koulikoff was a versatile man, capable of playing many a part on the stage of life, and had plenty of ability to go upon, whatever direction his efforts took. To such persons the jail is strangulation and suffocation. So the two set about plotting their escape.
But to get away without a soldier to act as escort was impossible; so a soldier had to be won. In one of the battalions stationed at our fortress was a Pole of middle life—an energetic fellow worthy of a better fate—serious, courageous. When he arrived first in Siberia, quite young, he had deserted, for he could not stand his sufferings from nostalgia. He was captured and whipped. During two years he formed part of the disciplinary companies to which offenders are sent; then he rejoined his battalion, and, showing himself zealous in the service, had been rewarded by promotion to the rank of corporal. He had a good deal of self-love, and spoke like a man who had no small conceit of himself.
I took particular notice of the man sometimes when he was among the soldiers who had charge of us, for the Poles had spoken to me about him; and I got the idea that his longing for his native country had taken the form of a chill, fixed, deadly hatred for those who kept him away from it. He was the sort of man to stick at nothing, and Koulikoff showed that his scent was good, when he pitched on this man to be an accomplice in his flight. This corporal’s name was Kohler. Koulikoff and he settled their plans and fixed the day. It was the month of June, the hottest of the year. The climate of our town and neighbourhood was pretty equable, especially in summer, which is a very good thing for tramps and vagabonds. To make off far after leaving the fortress was quite out of the question, it being situated on rising ground and in uncovered country, for though surrounded by woods, these are a considerable distance away. A disguise was indispensable, and to procure it they must manage to get into the outskirts of the town, where Koulikoff had taken care some time before to prepare a den of some sort. I don’t know whether his worthy friends in that part of the town were in the secret. It may be presumed they were, though there is no evidence. That year, however, a young woman who led a gay life and was very pretty, settled down in a nook of that same part of the city, near the county. This young person attracted a good deal of notice, and her career promised to be something quite remarkable; her nickname was “Fire and Flame.” I think that she and the fugitives concerted the plans of escape together, for Koulikoff had lavished a good deal of attention and money on her for more than a year. When the gangs were formed each morning, the two fellows, Koulikoff and A—v, managed to get themselves sent out with the convict Chilkin, whose trade was that of stove-maker and plasterer, to do up the empty barracks when the soldiers went into camp. A—v and Koulikoff were to help in carrying the necessary materials. Kohler got himself put into the escort on the occasion; as the rules required three soldiers to act as escort for two prisoners, they gave him a young recruit whom he was doing corporal’s duty upon, drilling and training him. Our fugitives must have exercised a great deal of influence over Kohler to deceive him, to cast his lot in with them, serious, intelligent, and reflective man as he was, with so few more years of service to pass in the army.
They arrived at the barracks about six o’clock in the morning; there was nobody with them. After having worked about an hour, Koulikoff and A—v told Chilkin that they were going to the workshop to see some one, and fetch a tool they wanted. They had to go carefully to work with Chilkin, and speak in as natural a tone as they could. The man was from Moscow, by trade a stove-maker, sharp and cunning, keen-sighted, not talkative, fragile in appearance, with little flesh on his bones. He was the sort of person who might have been expected to pass his life in honest working dress, in some Moscow shop, yet here he was in the “special section,” after many wanderings and transfers among the most formidable military criminals; so fate had ordered.
What had he done to deserve such severe punishment? I had not the least idea; he never showed the least resentment or sour feeling, and went on in a quiet, inoffensive way; now and then he got as drunk as a lord; but, apart from that, his conduct was perfectly good. Of course he was not in the secret, so he had to be thrown off the scent. Koulikoff told him, with a wink, that they were going to get some brandy, which had been hidden the day before in the workshop, which suited Chilkin’s book perfectly; he had not the least notion of what was up, and remained alone with the young recruit, while Koulikoff, A—v, and Kohler betook themselves to the suburbs of the town.
Half-an-hour passed; the men did not come back. Chilkin began to think, and the truth dawned upon him. He remembered that Koulikoff had not seemed at all like himself, that he had seen him whispering and winking to A—v; he was sure of that, and the whole thing seemed suspicious to him. Kohler’s behaviour had struck him, too; when he went off with the two convicts, the corporal had given the recruit orders what he was to do in his absence, which he had never known him do before. The more Chilkin thought over the matter the less he liked it. Time went on; the convicts did not return; his anxiety was great; for he saw that the authorities would suspect him of connivance with the fugitives, so that his own skin was in danger. If he made any delay in giving information of what had occurred, suspicion of himself would grow into conviction that he knew what the men intended when they left him, and he would be dealt with as their accomplice. There was no time to lose.
It came into his mind, then, that Koulikoff and A—v had become markedly intimate for some time, and that they had been often seen laying their heads together behind the barracks, by themselves. He remembered, too, that he had more than once fancied that they were up to something together.
He looked attentively at the soldier with him as escort; the fellow was yawning, leaning on his gun, and scratching his nose in the most innocent manner imaginable; so Chilkin did not think it necessary to speak of his anxieties to this man: he told him simply to come with him to the engineers’ workshops. His object was to ask if anybody there had seen his companions; but nobody there had, so Chilkin’s suspicions grew stronger and stronger. If only he could think that they had gone to get drunk and have a spree in the outskirts of the town, as Koulikoff often did. No, thought Chilkin, that was not so. They would have told him, for there was no need to make a mystery of that. Chilkin left his work, and went straight back to the jail.
It was about nine o’clock when he reached the sergeant-major, to whom he mentioned his suspicions. That officer was frightened, and at first could not believe there was anything in it all. Chilkin had, in fact, expressed no more than a vague misgiving that all was not as it should be. The sergeant-major ran to the Major, who in his turn ran to the Governor. In a quarter-of-an-hour all necessary measures were taken. The Governor-General was communicated with. As the convicts in question were persons of importance, it might be expected that the matter would be seriously viewed at St. Petersburg. A—v was classed among political prisoners, by a somewhat random official proceeding, it would seem; Koulikoff was a convict of the “special section,” that is to say, as a criminal of the blackest dye, and, what was worse, was an ex-soldier. It was then brought to notice that according to the regulations each convict of the “special section” ought to have two soldiers assigned as escort when he went to work; the regulations had not been observed as to this, so that everybody was exposed to serious trouble. Expresses were sent off to all the district offices of the municipality, and all the little neighbouring towns, to warn the authorities of the escape of the two convicts, and a full description furnished of their persons. Cossacks were sent out to hunt them up, letters sent to the authorities of all adjoining Governmental districts. And everybody was frightened to death.
The excitement was quite as great all through the prison; as the convicts returned from work, they heard the tremendous news, which spread rapidly from man to man; all received it with deep, though secret satisfaction. Their emotion was as natural as it was great. The affair broke the monotony of their lives, and gave them something to think of; but, above all, it was an escape, and as such, something to sympathise with deeply, and stirred fibres in the poor fellows which had long been without any exciting stimulus; something like hope and a disposition to confront their fate set their hearts beating, for the incident seemed to show that their hard lot was not hopelessly unchangeable.
“Well, you see they’ve got off in spite of them! Why shouldn’t we?”
The thought came into every man’s mind, and made him stiffen his back and look at his neighbours in a defiant sort of way. All the convicts seemed to grow an inch taller on the strength of it, and to look down a bit upon the sub-officers. The heads of the place soon came running up, as you may imagine. The Governor now arrived in person. We fellows looked at them all with some assurance, with a touch of contempt, and with a very set expression of face, as though to say: “Well, you there? We can get out of your clutches when we’ve a mind to.”
All the men were quite sure there would be a general searching of everything and everybody; so everything that was at all contraband was carefully hidden; for the authorities would want to show that precious wisdom of theirs which may be reckoned on after the event. The expectation was verified; there was a mighty turning of everything upside down and topsy-turvy, a general rummage, with the discovery of exactly nothing, as they might have known.
When the time came for going out to work after dinner the usual escorts were doubled. When night came, the officers and sub-officers on service came pouncing on us at every moment to see if we were off our guard, and if anything could be got out of us; the lists were gone over once more than the usual number of times, which extra mustering only gave more trouble for nothing; we were hunted out of the court-yard that our names might be gone through again. Then, when in barrack, they reckoned us up another time, as if they never could be done with the exercise.
The convicts were not at all disturbed by all this bustling absurdity. They put on a very unconcerned demeanour, and, as is always the case in such a conjuncture, behaved in the prettiest manner all that evening and night. “We won’t give them any handle anyhow,” was the general feeling. The question with the authorities was whether some among us were not in complicity with those who had got away, so a careful watch was kept over our doings, and a careful ear for our conversations; but nothing came of it.
“Not such fools, those fellows, as to leave anybody behind who was in the secret!”
“When you go at that sort of thing you lie low and play low!”
“Koulikoff and A—v know enough to have covered up their tracks. They’ve done the trick in first-rate style, keeping things to themselves; they’ve mizzled, the rascals; clever chaps, those, they could get through shut doors!”
The glory of Koulikoff and A—v had grown a hundred cubits higher than it was. Everybody was proud of them. Their exploit, it was felt, would be handed down to the most distant posterity, and outlive the jail itself.
“Rattling fellows, those!” said one.
“Can’t get away from here, eh? That’s their notion, is it? Just look at those chaps!”
“Yes,” said a third, looking very superior, “but who is it that has got away? Tip-top fellows. You can’t hold a candle to them.”
At any other time the man to whom anything of that sort was said would have replied angrily enough, and defended himself; now the observation was met with modest silence.
“True enough,” was said. “Everybody’s not a Koulikoff or an A—v, you’ve got to show what you’re made of before you’ve a right to speak.”
“I say, pals, after all, why do we remain in the place?” struck in a prisoner seated by the kitchen window; he spoke drawlingly, but the man, you could see, enjoyed it all; he slowly rubbed his cheek with the palm of his hand. “Why do we stop? It’s no life at all, we’ve been buried, though we’re alive and kicking. Now isn’t it so?”
“Oh, curse it, you can’t get out of prison as easy as shaking off an old boot. I tell you it sticks to your calves. What’s the good of pulling a long face over it?”
“But, look here; there is Koulikoff now,” began one of the most eager, a mere lad.
“Koulikoff!” exclaimed another, looking askance at the young fellow. “Koulikoff! They don’t turn out Koulikoffs by the dozen.”
“And A—v, pals, there’s a lad for you!”
“Aye, aye, he’ll get Koulikoff just where he wants him, as often as he wants him. He’s up to everything, he is.”
“I wonder how far they’ve got; that’s what I want to know,” said one.
Then the talk went off into details: Had they got far from the town? What direction did they go off in? Which gave them the best chance? Then they discussed distances, and as there were convicts who knew the neighbourhood well, these were attentively listened to.
Next, they talked over the inhabitants of the neighbouring villages, of whom they seemed to think as badly as possible. There was nobody in the neighbourhood, the convicts believed, who would hesitate at all as to the course to be pursued; nothing would induce them to help the runaways; quite the other way, these people would hunt them down.
“If you only knew what bad fellows these peasants are! Rascally brutes!”
“Peasants, indeed! Worthless scamps!”
“These Siberians are as bad as bad can be. They think nothing of killing a man.”
“Oh, well, our fellows——”
“Yes, that’s it, they may come off second best. Our fellows are as plucky as plucky can be.”
“Well, if we live long enough, we shall hear something about them soon.”
“Well, now, what do you think? Do you think they really will get clean away?”
“I am sure, as I live, that they’ll never be caught,” said one of the most excited, giving the table a great blow with his fist.
“Hm! That’s as things turn out.”
“I’ll tell you what, friends,” said Skouratof, “if I once got out, I’d stake my life they’d never get me again.”
“You?”
Everybody burst out laughing. They would hardly condescend to listen to him; but Skouratof was not to be put down.
“I tell you I’d stake my life on it!” with great energy. “Why, I made my mind up to that long ago. I’d find means of going through a key-hole rather than let them lay hands on me.”
“Oh, don’t you fear, when your belly got empty you’d just go creeping to a peasant and ask him for a morsel of something.”
Fresh laughter.
“I ask him for victuals? You’re a liar!”
“Hold your jaw, can’t you? We know what you were sent here for. You and your Uncle Vacia killed some peasant for bewitching your cattle [22].”
More laughter. The more serious among them seemed very angry and indignant.
“You’re a liar,” cried Skouratof; “it’s Mikitka who told you that; I wasn’t in that at all, it was Uncle Vacia; don’t you mix my name up in it. I’m a Moscow man, and I’ve been on the tramp ever since I was a very small thing. Look here, when the priest taught me to read the liturgy, he used to pinch my ears, and say, ‘Repeat this after me: Have pity on me, Lord, out of Thy great goodness;’ and he used to make me say with him, ‘They’ve taken me up and brought me to the police-station out of Thy great goodness,’ and the like. I tell you that went on when I was quite a little fellow.”
All laughed heartily again; that was what Skouratof wanted; he liked playing clown. Soon the talk became serious again, especially among the older men and those who knew a good deal about escapes. Those among the younger convicts who could keep themselves quiet enough to listen, seemed highly delighted. A great crowd was assembled in and about the kitchen. There were none of the warders about; so everybody could give vent to his feelings in talk or otherwise. One man I noticed who was particularly enjoying himself, a Tartar, a little fellow with high cheek-bones, and a remarkably droll face. His name was Mametka, he could scarcely speak Russian at all, but it was odd to see the way he craned his neck forward into the crowd, and the childish delight he showed.
“Well, Mametka, my lad, iakchi.”
“Iakchi, ouk, iakchi!” said Mametka as well as he could, shaking his grotesque head. “Iakchi.”
“They’ll never catch them, eh? Iok.”
“Iok, iok!” and Mametka waggled his head and threw his arms about.
“You’re a liar, then, and I don’t know what you’re talking about. Hey!”
“That’s it, that’s it, iakchi!” answered poor Mametka.
“All right, good, iakchi it is!”
Skouratof gave him a thump on the head, which sent his cap down over his eyes, and went out in high glee, and Mametka was quite chapfallen.
For a week or so a very tight hand was kept on everybody in the jail, and the whole neighbourhood was repeatedly and carefully searched. How they managed it I cannot tell, but the prisoners always seemed to know all about the measures taken by the authorities for recovering the runaways. For some days, according to all we heard, things went very favourably for them; no traces whatever of them could be found. Our convicts made very light of all the authorities were about, and were quite at their ease about their friends, and kept saying that nothing would ever be found out about them.
All the peasants round about were roused, we were told, and watching all the likely places, woods, ravines, etc.
“Stuff and nonsense!” said our fellows, who had a grin on their faces most of the time, “they’re hidden at somebody’s place who’s a friend.”
“That’s certain; they’re not the fellows to chance things, they’ve made all sure.”
The general idea was, in fact, that they were still concealed in the suburbs of the town, in a cellar, waiting till the hue and cry was over, and for their hair to grow; that they would remain there perhaps six months at least, and then quietly go off. All the prisoners were in the most fanciful and romantic state of mind about the things. Suddenly, eight days after the escape, a rumour spread that the authorities were on their track. This rumour was at first treated with contempt, but towards evening there seemed to be more in it. The convicts became much excited. Next morning it was said in the town that the runaways had been caught, and were being brought back. After dinner there were further details; the story was that they had been seized at a hamlet, seventy versts away from the town. At last we had fully confirmed tidings. The sergeant-major positively asserted, immediately after an interview with the Major, that they would be brought into the guard-house that very night. They were taken; there could be no doubt of it.
It is difficult to convey an adequate idea of the way the convicts were affected by the news. At first their rage was great, then they were deeply dejected. Then they began to be bitter and sarcastic, pouring all their scorn, not on the authorities, but on the runaways who had been such fools as to get caught. A few began this, then nearly all joined, except a small number of the more serious, thoughtful ones, who held their tongues, and seemed to regard the thoughtless fellows with great contempt.
Poor Koulikoff and A—v were now just as heartily abused as they had been glorified before; the men seemed to take a delight in running them down, as though in being caught they had done something wantonly offensive to their mates. It was said, with high contempt, that the fellows had probably got hungry and couldn’t stand it, and had gone into a village to ask bread of the peasants, which, according to tramp etiquette, it appears, is to come down very low in the world indeed. In this supposition the men turned out to be quite mistaken; for what had happened was that the tracks of the runaways out of the town were discovered and followed up; they were ascertained to have got into a wood, which was surrounded, so that the fugitives had no recourse but to give themselves up.
They were brought in that night, tied hands and feet, under armed escort. All the convicts ran hastily to the palisades to see what would be done with them; but they saw nothing except the carriages of the Governor and the Major, which were waiting in front of the guard-house. The fugitives were ironed and locked up separately, their punishment being adjourned till the next day. The prisoners began all to sympathise with the unhappy fellows when they heard how they had been taken, and learned that they could not help themselves, and the anxiety about the issue was keen.
“They’ll get a thousand at least.”
“A thousand, is it? I tell you they’ll have it till the life is beaten out of them. A—v may get off with a thousand, but the other they’ll kill; why, he’s in the ‘special section.’”
They were wrong. A—v was sentenced to five hundred strokes, his previous good conduct told in his favour, and this was his first prison offence. Koulikoff, I believe, had fifteen hundred. The punishment, upon the whole, was mild rather than severe.
The two men showed good sense and feeling, for they gave nobody’s name as having helped them, and positively declared that they had made straight for the woods without going into anybody’s house. I was very sorry for Koulikoff; to say nothing of the heavy beating he got; he had thrown away all his chances of having his lot as a prisoner lightened. Later he was sent to another convict establishment. A—v did not get all he was sentenced to; the physicians interfered, and he was let off. But as soon as he was safe in the hospital he began blowing his trumpet again, and said he would stick at nothing now, and that they should soon see what he would do. Koulikoff was not changed a bit, as decorous as ever, and gave himself just the same airs as ever; manner or words to show that he had had such an adventure. But the convicts looked on him quite differently; he seemed to have come down a good deal in their estimation, and now to be on their own level every way, instead of being a superior creature. So it was that poor Koulikoff’s star paled; success is everything in this world.

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CHAPTER X. FREEDOM!

This incident occurred during my last year of imprisonment. My recollection of what occurred this last year is as keen as of the events of the first years; but I have gone into detail enough. In spite of my impatience to be out, this year was the least trying of all the years I spent there. I had now many friends and acquaintances among the convicts, who had by this time made up their minds very much in my favour. Many of them, indeed, had come to feel a sincere and genuine affection for me. The soldier who was assigned to accompany my friend and myself—simultaneously discharged—out of the prison, very nearly cried when the time for leaving came. And when we were at last in full freedom, staying in the rooms of the Government building placed at our disposal for the month we still spent in the town, this man came nearly every day to see us. But there were some men whom I could never soften or win any regard from—God knows why—and who showed just the same hard aversion for me at the last as at the first; something we could not get over stood between us.
I had more indulgences during the last year. I found among the military functionaries of our town old acquaintances, and even some old schoolfellows, and the renewal of these relations helped me. Thanks to them I got permission to have some money, to write to my family, and even to have some books. For some years I had not had a single volume, and words would fail to tell the strange, deep emotion and excitement which the first book I read at the jail caused me. I began to devour it at night, when the doors were closed, and read it till the break of day. It was a number of a review, and it seemed to me like a messenger from the other world. As I read, my life before the prison days seemed to rise up before me in sharp definition, as of some existence independent of my own, which another soul had had. Then I tried to get some clear idea of my relation to current events and things; whether my arrears of knowledge and experience were too great to make up; whether the men and women out of doors had lived and gone through many things and great during the time I was away from them; and great was my desire to thoroughly understand what was now going on, now that I could know something about it all at last. All the words I read were as palpable things, which I wanted rather to feel sensibly than get mere meaning out of; I tried to see more in the text than could be there. I imagined some mysterious meanings that must be in them, and tried at every page to see allusions to the past, with which my mind was familiar, whether they were there or not; at every turn of the leaf I sought for traces of what had deeply moved people before the days of my bondage; and deep was my dejection when it was forced on my mind that a new state of things had arisen; a new life, among my kind, which was alien to my knowledge and my sentiments. I felt as if I was a straggler, left behind and lost in the onward march of mankind.
Yes, there were indeed arrears, if the word is not too weak.
For the truth is, that another generation had come up, and I knew it not, and it knew not me. At the foot of one article I saw the name of one who had been dear to me; with what avidity I flung myself on that paper! But the other names were nearly all new to me; new workers had come upon the scene, and I was eager to know their doings and themselves. It made me feel nearly desperate to have so few books, and to know how hard it would be to get more. At an earlier date, in the old Major’s time, it was a dangerous thing indeed to bring books into the jail. If one was found when the whole place was searched, as was regularly done, great was the disturbance, and no efforts were spared to find out how they got in, and who had helped in the offence. I did not want to be subjected to insulting scrutiny, and, if I had, it would have been useless. I had to live without books, and did, shut up in myself, tormenting myself with many a question and problem on which I had no means of throwing any light. But I can never tell it all.
It was in winter that I came in, so in winter I was to leave, on the anniversary-day. Oh, with what impatience did I look forward to the thrice-blessed winter! How gladly did I see the summer die out, the leaves turn yellow on the trees, the grass turn dry over the wide steppe! Summer is gone at last! the winds of autumn howl and groan, the first snow falls in whirling flakes. The winter, so long, long-prayed for, is come, come at last. Oh, how the heart beats with the thought that freedom was really, at last, at last, close at hand. Yet it was strange, as the time of times, the day of days, grew nearer and nearer, so did my soul grow quieter and quieter. I was annoyed at myself, reproached myself even with being cold, indifferent. Many of the convicts, as I met them in the court-yard when the day’s work was done, used to get out, and talk with me to wish me joy.
“Ah, little Father Alexander Petrovitch, you’ll soon be out now! And here you’ll leave us poor devils behind!”
“Well, Mertynof, have you long to wait still?” I asked the man who spoke.
“I! Oh, good Lord, I’ve seven years of it yet to weary through.”
Then the man sighed with a far-away, wandering look, as if he was gazing into those intolerable days to come.... Yes, many of my companions congratulated me in a way that showed they really felt what they said. I saw, too, that there was more disposition to meet me as man to man, they drew nearer to me as I was to leave them; the halo of freedom began to surround me, and caring for that they cared more for me. It was in this spirit they bade me farewell.
K—schniski, a young Polish noble, a sweet and amiable person, was very fond, about this time, of walking in the court-yard with me. The stifling nights in the barracks did him much harm, so he tried his best to keep his health by getting all the exercise and fresh air he could.
“I am looking forward impatiently to the day when you will be set free,” he said with a smile one day, “for when you go I shall realise that I have just one year more of it to undergo.”
Need I say what I can yet not help saying, that freedom in idea always seemed to us who were there something more free than it ever can be in reality? That was because our fancy was always dwelling upon it. Prisoners always exaggerate when they think of freedom and look on a free man; we did certainly; the poorest servant of one of the officers there seemed a sort of king to us, everything we could imagine in a free man, compared with ourselves at least; he had no irons on his limbs, his head was not shaven, he could go where and when he liked, with no soldiers to watch and escort him.
The day before I was set free, as night fell I went for the last time all through and all round the prison. How many a thousand times had I made the circuit of those palisades during those ten years! There, at the rear of the barracks, had I gone to and fro during the whole of that first year, a solitary, despairing man. I remember how I used to reckon up the days I had still to pass there—thousands, thousands! God! how long ago it seemed. There’s the corner where the poor prisoned eagle wasted away; Petroff used often to come to me at that place. It seemed as if the man would never leave my side now; he would place himself by my side and walk along without ever saying a word, as though he knew all my thoughts as well as myself, and there was always a strange, inexplicable sort of wondering look on the man’s face.
How many a mental farewell did I take of the black, squared beams in our barracks! Ah, me! How much joyless youth, how much strength for which use there was none, was buried, lost in those walls!—youth and strength of which the world might surely have made some use. For I must speak my thoughts as to this: the hapless fellows there were perhaps the strongest, and, in one way or another, the most gifted of our people. There was all that strength of body and of mind lost, hopelessly lost. Whose fault is that?
Yes; whose fault is that?
The next day, at an early hour, before the men were mustered for work, I went through all the barracks to bid the men a last farewell. Many a vigorous, horny hand was held out to me with right good-will. Some grasped and shook my hand as though all their hearts went with the act; but these were the more generous souls. Most of the poor fellows seemed so much to feel that, for them, I was already a man changed by what was coming, that they could feel scarce anything else. They knew that I had friends in the town, that I was going away at once to gentlemen, that I should sit at their table as their equal. This the poor fellows felt; and, although they did their best as they took my hand, that hand could not be the hand of an equal. No; I, too, was a gentleman now. Some turned their backs on me, and made no reply to my parting words. I think, too, that I saw looks of aversion on some faces.
The drum beat; all the convicts went to their work; and I was left to myself. Souchiloff had got up before everybody that morning, and now set himself tremblingly to the task of getting ready for me a last cup of tea. Poor Souchiloff! How he cried when I gave him my clothes, my shirts, my trouser-straps, and some money.
“’Tain’t that, ’tain’t that,” he said, and he bit his trembling lips, “it’s that I am going to lose you, Alexander Petrovitch! What shall I do without you?”
There was Akim Akimitch, too; him, also, I bade farewell.
“Your turn to go will come soon, I pray,” said I.
“Ah, no! I shall remain here long, long, very long yet,” he just managed to say, as he pressed my hand. I threw myself on his neck; we kissed.
Ten minutes after the convicts had gone out, my companion and myself left the jail for ever. We went to the blacksmith’s shop, where our irons were struck off. We had no armed escort, we went there attended by a single sub-officer. It was convicts who struck off our irons in the engineers’ workshop. I let them do it for my friend first, then went to the anvil myself. The smiths made me turn round, seized my leg, and stretched it on the anvil. Then they went about the business methodically, as though they wanted to make a very neat job of it indeed.
“The rivet, man, turn the rivet first,” I heard the master smith say; “there, so, so. Now, a stroke of the hammer!”
The irons fell. I lifted them up. Some strange impulse made me long to have them in my hands for one last time. I couldn’t realise that, only a moment before, they had been on my limbs.
“Good-bye! Good-bye! Good-bye!” said the convicts in their broken voices; but they seemed pleased as they said it.
Yes, farewell!
Liberty! New life! Resurrection from the dead!
Unspeakable moment!

THE END

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Записки из Мёртвого дома

Часть первая

◦ I. Мёртвый дом
◦ II. Первые впечатления
◦ III. Первые впечатления
◦ IV. Первые впечатления
◦ V. Первый месяц
◦ VI. Первый месяц
◦ VII. Новые знакомства. Петров
◦ VIII. Решительные люди. Лучка
◦ IX. Исай Фомич. Баня. Рассказ Баклушина
◦ X. Праздник Рождества Христова
◦ XI. Представление

Часть вторая

◦ I. Госпиталь
◦ II. Продолжение
◦ III. Продолжение
◦ IV. Акулькин муж
◦ V. Летняя пора
◦ VI. Каторжные животные
◦ VII. Претензия
◦ VIII. Товарищи
◦ IX. Побег
◦ X. Выход из каторги

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Часть первая

I. Мёртвый дом

Острог наш стоял на краю крепости, у самого крепостного вала. Случалось, посмотришь сквозь щели забора на свет божий: не увидишь ли хоть чего-нибудь? — и только и увидишь, что краешек неба да высокий земляной вал, поросший бурьяном, а взад и вперед по валу, день и ночь, расхаживают часовые; и тут же подумаешь, что пройдут целые годы, а ты точно так же подойдешь смотреть сквозь щели забора и увидишь тот же вал, таких же часовых и тот же маленький краешек неба, не того неба, которое над острогом, а другого, далекого, вольного неба. Представьте себе большой двор, шагов в двести длины и шагов в полтораста ширины, весь обнесенный кругом, в виде неправильного шестиугольника, высоким тыном, то есть забором из высоких столбов (паль), врытых стойком глубоко в землю, крепко прислоненных друг к другу ребрами, скрепленных поперечными планками и сверху заостренных: вот наружная ограда острога. В одной из сторон ограды вделаны крепкие ворота, всегда запертые, всегда день и ночь охраняемые часовыми; их отпирали по требованию, для выпуска на работу. За этими воротами был светлый, вольный мир, жили люди, как и все. Но по сю сторону ограды о том мире представляли себе, как о какой-то несбыточной сказке. Тут был свой особый мир, ни на что не похожий, тут были свои особые законы, свои костюмы, свои нравы и обычаи, и заживо мертвый дом, жизнь — как нигде, и люди особенные. Вот этот-то особенный уголок я и принимаюсь описывать.
Как входите в ограду — видите внутри ее несколько зданий. По обеим сторонам широкого внутреннего двора тянутся два длинных одноэтажных сруба. Это казармы. Здесь живут арестанты, размещенные по разрядам. Потом, в глубине ограды, еще такой же сруб: это кухня, разделенная на две артели; далее еще строение, где под одной крышей помещаются погреба, амбары, сараи. Средина двора пустая и составляет ровную, довольно большую площадку. Здесь строятся арестанты, происходит поверка и перекличка утром, в полдень и вечером, иногда же и еще по нескольку раз в день, — судя по мнительности караульных и их уменью скоро считать. Кругом, между строениями и забором, остается, еще довольно большое пространство. Здесь, по задам строений, иные из заключенных, понелюдимее и помрачнее характером, любят ходить в нерабочее время, закрытые от всех глаз, и думать свою думушку. Встречаясь с ними во время этих прогулок, я любил всматриваться в их угрюмые, клейменые лица и угадывать, о чем они думают. Был один ссыльный, у которого любимым занятием в свободное время, было считать пали. Их было тысячи полторы, и у него они были все на счету и на примете. Каждая паля означала у него день; каждый день он отсчитывал по одной пале и таким образом по оставшемуся числу несосчитанных паль мог наглядно видеть, сколько дней еще остается ему пробыть в остроге до срока работы. Он был искренно рад, когда доканчивал какую-нибудь сторону шестиугольника. Много лет приходилось еще ему дожидаться; но в остроге было время научиться терпению. Я видел раз, как прощался с товарищами один арестант, пробывший в каторге двадцать лет и наконец выходивший на волю. Были люди, помнившие, как он вошел в острог первый раз, молодой, беззаботный, не думавший ни о своем преступлении, ни о своем наказании. Он выходил седым стариком, с лицом угрюмым и грустным. Молча обошел он все наши шесть казарм. Входя в каждую казарму, он молился на образа и потом низко, в пояс, откланивался товарищам, прося не поминать его лихом. Помню я тоже, как однажды одного арестанта, прежде зажиточного сибирского мужика, раз под вечер позвали к воротам. Полгода перед этим получил он известие, что бывшая его жена вышла замуж, и крепко запечалился. Теперь она сама подъехала к острогу, вызвала его и подала ему подаяние. Они поговорили минуты две, оба всплакнули и простились навеки. Я видел его лицо, когда он возвращался в казарму… Да, в этом месте можно было научиться терпению.
Когда смеркалось, нас всех вводили в казармы, где и запирали на всю ночь. Мне всегда было тяжело возвращаться со двора в нашу казарму. Это была длинная, низкая и душная комната, тускло освещенная сальными свечами, с тяжелым, удушающим запахом. Не понимаю теперь, как я выжил в ней десять лет. На нарах у меня было три доски: это было все мое место. На этих же нарах размещалось в одной нашей комнате человек тридцать народу. Зимой запирали рано; часа четыре надо было ждать, пока все засыпали. А до того — шум, гам, хохот, ругательства, звук цепей, чад и копоть, бритые головы, клейменые лица, лоскутные платья, все — обруганное, ошельмованное… да, живуч человек! Человек есть существо ко всему привыкающее, и, я думаю, это самое лучшее его определение.
Помещалось нас в остроге всего человек двести пятьдесят — цифра почти постоянная. Одни приходили, другие кончали сроки и уходили, третьи умирали. И какого народу тут не было! Я думаю, каждая губерния, каждая полоса России имела тут своих представителей. Были и инородцы, было несколько ссыльных даже из кавказских горцев. Все это разделялось по степени преступлений, а следовательно, по числу лет, определенных за преступление. Надо полагать, что не было такого преступления, которое бы не имело здесь своего представителя. Главное основание всего острожного населения составляли ссыльнокаторжные разряда гражданского (сильнокаторжные, как наивно произносили сами арестанты). Это были преступники, совершенно лишенные всяких прав состояния, отрезанные ломти от общества, с проклейменным лицом для вечного свидетельства об их отвержении. Они присылались в работу на сроки от восьми до двенадцати лет и потом рассылались куда-нибудь по сибирским волостям в поселенцы. Были преступники и военного разряда, не лишенные прав состояния, как вообще в русских военных арестантских ротах. Присылались они на короткие сроки; по окончании же их поворачивались туда же, откуда пришли, в солдаты, в сибирские линейные батальоны. Многие из них почти тотчас же возвращались обратно в острог за вторичные важные преступления, но уже не на короткие сроки, а на двадцать лет. Этот разряд назывался «всегдашним». Но «всегдашние» все еще не совершенно лишались всех прав состояния. Наконец, был еще один особый разряд самых страшных преступников, преимущественно военных, довольно многочисленный. Назывался он «особым отделением». Со всей Руси присылались сюда преступники. Они сами считали себя вечными и срока работ своих не знали. По закону им должно было удвоять и утроять рабочие уроки. Содержались они при остроге впредь до открытия в Сибири самых тяжких каторжных работ. «Вам на срок, а нам вдоль по каторге», — говорили они другим заключенным. Я слышал, что разряд этот уничтожен. Кроме того, уничтожен при нашей крепости и гражданский порядок, а заведена одна общая военно-арестантская рота. Разумеется, с этим вместе переменилось и начальство. Я описываю, стало быть, старину, дела давно минувшие и прошедшие…
Давно уж это было; все это снится мне теперь, как во сне. Помню, как я вошел в острог. Это было вечером, в декабре месяце. Уже смеркалось; народ возвращался с работы; готовились к поверке. Усатый унтер-офицер отворил мне наконец двери в этот странный дом, в котором я должен был пробыть столько лет, вынести столько таких ощущений, о которых, не испытав их на самом деле, я бы не мог иметь даже приблизительного понятия. Например, я бы никогда не мог представить себе: что страшного и мучительного в том, что я во все десять лет моей каторги ни разу, ни одной минуты не буду один? На работе всегда под конвоем, дома с двумястами товарищей и ни разу, ни разу — один! Впрочем, к этому ли еще мне надо было привыкать!
Были здесь убийцы невзначай и убийцы по ремеслу, разбойники и атаманы разбойников. Были просто мазурики и бродяги-промышленники по находным деньгам или по столевской части. Были и такие, про которых трудно решить: за что бы, кажется, они могли прийти сюда? А между тем у всякого была своя повесть, смутная и тяжелая, как угар от вчерашнего хмеля. Вообще о былом своем они говорили мало, не любили рассказывать и, видимо, старались не думать о прошедшем. Я знал из них даже убийц до того веселых, до того никогда не задумывающихся, что можно было биться об заклад, что никогда совесть не сказала им никакого упрека. Но были и мрачные дни, почти всегда молчаливые. Вообще жизнь свою редко кто рассказывал, да и любопытство было не в моде, как-то не в обычае, не принято. Так разве, изредка, разговорится кто-нибудь от безделья, а другой хладнокровно и мрачно слушает. Никто здесь никого не мог удивить. "Мы — народ грамотный! " — говорили они часто, с каким-то странным самодовольствием. Помню, как однажды один разбойник, хмельной (в каторге иногда можно было напиться), начал рассказывать, как он зарезал пятилетнего мальчика, как он обманул его сначала игрушкой, завел куда-то в пустой сарай да там и зарезал. Вся казарма, доселе смеявшаяся его шуткам, закричала как один человек, и разбойник принужден был замолчать; не от негодования закричала казарма, а так, потому что не надо было про это говорить, потому что говорить про это не принято. Замечу, кстати, что этот народ был действительно грамотный и даже не в переносном, а в буквальном смысле. Наверно, более половины из них умело читать и писать. В каком другом месте, где русский народ собирается в больших местах, отделите вы от него кучу в двести пятьдесят человек, из которых половина была бы грамотных? Слышал я потом, кто-то стал выводить из подобных же данных, что грамотность губит народ. Это ошибка: тут совсем другие причины; хотя и нельзя не согласиться, что грамотность развивает в народе самонадеянность. Но ведь это вовсе не недостаток. Различались все разряды по платью: у одних половина куртки была темно-бурая, а другая серая, равно и на панталонах — одна нога серая, а другая темно-бурая. Один раз, на работе, девчонка-калашница, подошедшая к арестантам, долго всматривалась в меня и потом вдруг захохотала. "Фу, как не славно! — закричала она, — и серого сукна недостало, и черного сукна недостало! " Были и такие, у которых вся куртка была одного серого сукна, но только рукава были темно-бурые. Голова тоже брилась по-разному: у одних половина головы была выбрита вдоль черепа, у других поперек.
С первого взгляда можно было заметить некоторую резкую общность во всем этом странном семействе; даже самые резкие, самые оригинальные личности, царившие над другими невольно, и те старались попасть в общий тон всего острога. Вообще же скажу, что весь этот народ, — за некоторыми немногими исключениями неистощимо-веселых людей, пользовавшихся за это всеобщим презрением, — был народ угрюмый, завистливый, страшно тщеславный, хвастливый, обидчивый и в высшей степени формалист. Способность ничему не удивляться была величайшею добродетелью. Все были помешаны на том: как наружно держать себя. Но нередко самый заносчивый вид с быстротою молнии сменялся на самый малодушный. Было несколько истинно сильных людей; те были просты и не кривлялись. Но странное дело: из этих настоящих сильных людей было несколько тщеславных до последней крайности, почти до болезни. Вообще тщеславие, наружность были на первом плане. Большинство было развращено и страшно исподлилось. Сплетни и пересуды были беспрерывные: это был ад, тьма кромешная. Но против внутренних уставов и принятых обычаев острога никто не смел восставать; все подчинялись. Бывали характеры резко выдающиеся, трудно, с усилием подчинявшиеся, но все-таки подчинявшиеся. Приходили в острог такие, которые уж слишком зарвались, слишком выскочили из мерки на воле, так что уж и преступления свои делали под конец как будто не сами собой, как будто сами не зная зачем, как будто в бреду, в чаду; часто из тщеславия, возбужденного в высочайшей степени. Но у нас их тотчас осаживали, несмотря на то что иные, до прибытия в острог, бывали ужасом целых селений и городов. Оглядываясь кругом, новичок скоро замечал, что он не туда попал, что здесь дивить уже некого, и приметно смирялся и попадал в общий тон. Этот общий тон составлялся снаружи из какого-то особенного собственного достоинства, которым был проникнут чуть не каждый обитатель острога. Точно в самом деле звание каторжного, решеного, составляло какой-нибудь чин, да еще и почетный. Ни признаков стыда и раскаяния! Впрочем, было и какое-то наружное смирение, так сказать официальное, какое-то спокойное резонерство: «Мы погибший народ, — говорили они, — не умел на воле жить, теперь ломай зеленую улицу, поверяй ряды». — «Не слушался отца и матери, послушайся теперь барабанной шкуры». — «Не хотел шить золотом, теперь бей камни молотом». Все это говорилось часто, и в виде нравоучения и в виде обыкновенных поговорок и присловий, но никогда серьезно. Все это были только слова. Вряд ли хоть один из них сознавался внутренно в своей беззаконности. Попробуй кто не из каторжных упрекнуть арестанта его преступлением, выбранить его (хотя, впрочем, не в русском духе попрекать преступника) — ругательствам не будет конца. А какие были они все мастера ругаться! Ругались они утонченно, художественно. Ругательство возведено было у них в науку; старались взять не столько обидным словом, сколько обидным смыслом, духом, идеей — а это утонченнее, ядовитее. Беспрерывные ссоры еще более развивали между ними эту науку. Весь этот народ работал из-под палки, — следственно, он был праздный, следственно, развращался: если и не был прежде развращен, то в каторге развращался. Все они собрались сюда не своей волей; все они были друг другу чужие.
"Черт трое лаптей сносил, прежде чем нас собрал в одну кучу! " — говорили они про себя сами; а потому сплетни, интриги, бабьи наговоры, зависть, свара, злость были всегда на первом плане в этой кромешной жизни. Никакая баба не в состоянии была быть такой бабой, как некоторые из этих душегубцев. Повторяю, были и между ними люди сильные, характеры, привыкшие всю жизнь свою ломить и повелевать, закаленные, бесстрашные. Этих как-то невольно уважали; они же, с своей стороны, хотя часто и очень ревнивы были к своей славе, но вообще старались не быть другим в тягость, в пустые ругательства не вступали, вели себя с необыкновенным достоинством, были рассудительны и почти всегда послушны начальству, — не из принципа послушания, не из состояния обязанностей, а так, как будто по какому-то контракту, сознав взаимные выгоды. Впрочем, с ними и поступали осторожно. Я помню, как одного из таких арестантов, человека бесстрашного и решительного, известного начальству своими зверскими наклонностями, за какое-то преступление позвали раз к наказанию. День был летний, пора нерабочая. Штаб-офицер, ближайший и непосредственный начальник острога, приехал сам в кордегардию, которая была у самых наших ворот, присутствовать при наказании. Этот майор был какое-то фатальное существо для арестантов; он довел их до того, что они его трепетали. Был он до безумия строг, «бросался на людей», как говорили каторжные. Всего более страшились они в нем его проницательного, рысьего взгляда, от которого нельзя было ничего утаить. Он видел как-то не глядя. Входя в острог, он уже знал, что делается на другом конце его. Арестанты звали его восьмиглазым. Его система была ложная. Он только озлоблял уже озлобленных людей своими бешеными, злыми поступками, и если б не было над ним коменданта, человека благородного и рассудительного, умерявшего иногда его дикие выходки, то он бы наделал больших бед своим управлением. Не понимаю, как он мог кончить благополучно; он вышел в отставку жив и здоров, хотя, впрочем, и был отдан под суд.
Арестант побледнел, когда его кликнули. Обыкновенно он молча и решительно ложился под розги, молча терпел наказание и вставал после наказания как встрепанный, хладнокровно и философски смотря на приключившуюся неудачу. С ним, впрочем, поступали всегда осторожно. Но на этот раз он считал себя почему-то правым. Он побледнел и, тихонько от конвоя, успел сунуть в рукав острый английский сапожный нож. Ножи и всякие острые инструменты страшно запрещались в острога. Обыски были частые, неожиданные и нешуточные, наказания жестокие; но так как трудно отыскать у вора, когда тот решится что-нибудь особенно спрятать, и так как ножи и инструменты были всегдашнею необходимостью в остроге, то, несмотря на обыски, они не переводились. А если и отбирались, то немедленно заводились новые. Вся каторга бросилась к забору и с замиранием сердца смотрела сквозь щели паль. Все знали, что Петров в этот раз не захочет лечь под розги и что майору пришел конец. Но в самую решительную минуту наш майор сел на дрожки и уехал, поручив исполнение экзекуции другому офицеру. "Сам бог спас! " — говорили потом арестанты. Что касается до Петрова, он преспокойно вытерпел наказание. Его гнев прошел с отъездом майора. Арестант послушен и покорен до известной степени; но есть крайность, которую не надо переходить. Кстати: ничего не может быть любопытнее этих странных вспышек нетерпения и строптивости. Часто человек терпит несколько лет, смиряется, выносит жесточайшие наказания и вдруг прорывается на какой-нибудь малости, на каком-нибудь пустяке, почти за ничто. На иной взгляд, можно даже назвать его сумасшедшим; да так и делают.
Я сказал уже, что в продолжение нескольких лет я не видал между этими людьми ни малейшего признака раскаяния, ни малейшей тягостной думы о своем преступлении и что большая часть из них внутренно считает себя совершенно правыми. Это факт. Конечно, тщеславие, дурные примеры, молодечество, ложный стыд во многом тому причиною. С другой стороны, кто может сказать, что выследил глубину этих погибших сердец и прочел в них сокровенное от всего света? Но ведь можно же было, во столько лет, хоть что-нибудь заметить, поймать, уловить в этих сердцах хоть какую-нибудь черту, которая бы свидетельствовала о внутренней тоске, о страдании. Но этого не было, положительно не было. Да, преступление, кажется, не может быть осмысленно с данных, готовых точек зрения, и философия его несколько потруднее, чем полагают. Конечно, остроги и система насильных работ не исправляют преступника; они только его наказывают и обеспечивают общество от дальнейших покушений злодея на его спокойствие. В преступнике же острог и самая усиленная каторжная работа развивают только ненависть, жажду запрещенных наслаждений и страшное легкомыслие. Но я твердо уверен, что и знаменитая келейная система достигает только ложной, обманчивой, наружной цели. Она высасывает жизненный сок из человека, энервирует его душу, ослабляет ее, пугает ее и потом нравственно иссохшую мумию, полусумасшедшего представляет как образец исправления и раскаяния. Конечно, преступник, восставший на общество, ненавидит его и почти всегда считает себя правым, а его виноватым. К тому же он уже потерпел от него наказание, а чрез это почти считает себя очищенным, сквитавшимся. Можно судить, наконец, с таких точек зрения, что чуть ли не придется оправдать самого преступника. Но, несмотря на всевозможные точки зрения, всякий согласится, что есть такие преступления, которые всегда и везде, по всевозможным законам, с начала мира считаются бесспорными преступлениями и будут считаться такими до тех пор, покамест человек останется человеком. Только в остроге я слышал рассказы о самых страшных, о самых неестественных поступках, о самых чудовищных убийствах, рассказанные с самым неудержимым, с самым детски веселым смехом. Особенно не выходит у меня из памяти один отцеубийца. Он был из дворян, служил и был у своего шестидесятилетнего отца чем-то вроде блудного сына. Поведения он был совершенно беспутного, ввязался в долги. Отец ограничивал его, уговаривал; но у отца был дом, был хутор, подозревались деньги, и — сын убил его, жаждая наследства. Преступление было разыскано только через месяц. Сам убийца подал заявление в полицию, что отец его исчез неизвестно куда. Весь этот месяц он провел самым развратным образом. Наконец, в его отсутствие, полицию нашла тело. На дворе, во всю длину его, шла канавка для стока нечистот, прикрытая досками. Тело лежало в этой канавке. Оно было одето и убрано, седая голова была отрезана прочь, приставлена к туловищу, а под голову убийца подложил подушку. Он не сознался; был лишен дворянства, чина и сослан в работу на двадцать лет. Все время, как я жил с ним, он был в превосходнейшем, в веселейшем расположении духа. Это был взбалмошный, легкомысленный, нерассудительный в высшей степени человек, хотя совсем не глупец. Я никогда не замечал в нем какой-нибудь особенной жестокости. Арестанты презирали его не за преступление, о котором не было и помину, а за дурь, за то, что не умел вести себя. В разговорах он иногда вспоминал о своем отце. Раз, говоря со мной о здоровом сложении, наследственном в их семействе, он прибавил: «Вот родитель мой, так тот до самой кончины своей не жаловался ни на какую болезнь». Такая зверская бесчувственность, разумеется, невозможна. Это феномен; тут какой-нибудь недостаток сложения, какое-нибудь телесное и нравственное уродство, еще не известное науке, а не просто преступление. Разумеется, я не верил этому преступлению. Но люди из его города, которые должны были знать все подробности его истории, рассказывали мне все его дело. Факты были до того ясны, что невозможно было не верить.
Арестанты слышали, как он кричал однажды ночью во сне: "Держи его, держи! Голову-то ему руби, голову, голову!.. "
Арестанты почти все говорили ночью и бредили. Ругательства, воровские слова, ножи, топоры чаще всего приходили им в бреду на язык. «Мы народ битый, — говорили они, — у нас нутро отбитое, оттого и кричим по ночам».
Казенная каторжная крепостная работа была не занятием, а обязанностью: арестант отработывал свой урок или отбывал законные часы работы и шел в острог. На работу смотрели с ненавистью. Без своего особого, собственного занятия, которому бы он предан был всем умом, всем расчетом своим, человек в остроге не мог бы жить. Да и каким способом весь этот народ, развитой, сильно поживший и желавший жить, насильно сведенный сюда в одну кучу, насильно оторванный от общества и от нормальной жизни, мог бы ужиться здесь нормально и правильно, своей волей и охотой? От одной праздности здесь развились бы в нем такие преступные свойства, о которых он прежде не имел и понятия. Без труда и без законной, нормальной собственности человек не может жить, развращается, обращается в зверя. И потому каждый в остроге, вследствие естественной потребности и какого-то чувства самосохранения, имел свое мастерство и занятие. Длинный летний день почти весь наполнялся казенной работой; в короткую ночь едва было время выспаться. Но зимой арестант, по положению, как только смеркалось, уже должен быть заперт в остроге. Что же делать в длинные, скучные часы зимнего вечера? И потому почти каждая казарма, несмотря на запрет, обращалась в огромную мастерскую. Собственно труд, занятие не запрещались; но строго запрещалось иметь при себе, в остроге, инструменты, а без этого невозможна была работа. Но работали тихонько, и, кажется, начальство в иных случаях смотрело на это не очень пристально. Многие из арестантов приходили в острог ничего не зная, но учились у других и потом выходили на волю хорошими мастеровыми. Тут были и сапожники, и башмачники, и портные, и столяры, и слесаря, и резчики, и золотильщики. Был один еврей, Исай Бумштейн, ювелир, он же и ростовщик. Все они трудились и добывали копейку. Заказы работ добывались из города. Деньги есть чеканенная свобода, а потому для человека, лишенного совершенно свободы, они дороже вдесятеро. Если они только брякают у него в кармане, он уже вполовину утешен, хотя бы и не мог их тратить. Но деньги всегда и везде можно тратить, тем более что запрещенный плод вдвое слаще. А в каторге можно было даже иметь и вино. Трубки были строжайше запрещены, но все их курили. Деньги и табак спасали от цинготной и других болезней. Работа же спасала от преступлений: без работы арестанты поели бы друг друга, как пауки в склянке. Несмотря на то, и работа и деньги запрещались. Нередко по ночам делались внезапные обыски, отбиралось все запрещенное, и — как ни прятались деньги, а все-таки иногда попадались сыщикам. Вот отчасти почему они и не береглись, а вскорости пропивались; вот почему заводилось в остроге и вино. После каждого обыска виноватый, кроме того, что лишался всего своего состояния, бывал обыкновенно больно наказан. Но, после каждого обыска, тотчас же пополнялись недостатки, немедленно заводились новые вещи, и все шло по-старому. И начальство знало об этом, и арестанты не роптали на наказания, хотя такая жизнь похожа была на жизнь поселившихся на горе Везувии.
Кто не имел мастерства, промышлял другим образом. Были способы довольно оригинальные. Иные промышляли, например, одним перекупством, а продавались иногда такие вещи, что и в голову не могло бы прийти кому-нибудь за стенами острога не только покупать и продавать их, но даже считать вещами. Но каторга была очень бедна и чрезвычайно промышленна. Последняя тряпка была в цене и шла в какое-нибудь дело. По бедности же и деньги в остроге имели совершенно другую цену, чем на воле. За большой и сложный труд платилось грошами. Некоторые с успехом промышляли ростовщичеством. Арестант, замотавшийся и разорившийся, нес последние свои вещи ростовщику и получал от него несколько медных денег за ужасные проценты. Если он не выкупал эти вещи в срок, то они безотлагательно и безжалостно продавались; ростовщичество до того процветало, что принимались под залог даже казенные смотровые вещи, как-то: казенное белье, сапожный товар и проч., — вещи, необходимые всякому арестанту во всякий момент. Но при таких закладах случался и другой оборот дела, не совсем, впрочем, неожиданный: заложивший и получивший деньги немедленно, без дальних разговоров, шел к старшему унтер-офицеру, ближайшему начальнику острога, доносил о закладе смотровых вещей, и они тотчас же отбирались у ростовщика обратно, даже без доклада высшему начальству. Любопытно, что при этом иногда даже не было и ссоры: ростовщик молча и угрюмо возвращал что следовало и даже как будто сам ожидал, что так будет. Может быть, он не мог не сознаться в себе, что на месте закладчика и он бы так сделал. И потому если ругался иногда потом, то без всякой злобы, а так только, для очистки совести.
Вообще все воровали друг у друга ужасно. Почти у каждого был свой сундук с замком, для хранения казенных вещей. Это позволялось; но сундуки не спасали. Я думаю, можно представить, какие были там искусные воры. У меня один арестант, искренно преданный мне человек (говорю это без всякой натяжки), украл Библию, единственную книгу, которую позволялось иметь на каторге; он в тот же день мне сам сознался в этом, не от раскаяния, но жалея меня, потому что я ее долго искал. Были целовальники, торговавшие вином и быстро обогащавшиеся. Об этой продаже я скажу когда-нибудь особенно; она довольно замечательна. В остроге было много пришедших за контрабанду, и потому нечего удивляться, каким образом, при таких осмотрах и конвоях, в острог приносилось вино. Кстати: контрабанда, по характеру своему, какое-то особенное преступление. Можно ли, например, представить себе, что деньги, выгода, у иного контрабандиста играют второстепенную роль, стоят на втором плане? А между тем бывает именно так. Контрабандист работает по страсти, по призванию. Это отчасти поэт. Он рискует всем, идет на страшную опасность, хитрит, изобретает, выпутывается; иногда даже действует по какому-то вдохновению. Это страсть столь же сильная, как и картежная игра. Я знал в остроге одного арестанта, наружностью размера колоссального, но до того кроткого, тихого, смиренного, что нельзя было представить себе, каким образом он очутился в остроге. Он был до того незлобив и уживчив, что все время своего пребывания в остроге ни с кем не поссорился. Но он был с западной границы, пришел за контрабанду и, разумеется, не мог утерпеть и пустился проносить вино. Сколько раз его за это наказывали, и как он боялся розог! Да и самый пронос вина доставлял ему самые ничтожные доходы. От вина обогащался только один антрепренер. Чудак любил искусство для искусства. Он был плаксив как баба и сколько раз, бывало, после наказания, клялся и зарекался не носить контрабанды. С мужеством он преодолевал себя иногда по целому месяцу, но наконец все-таки не выдерживал… Благодаря этим-то личностям вино не оскудевало в остроге.
Наконец, был еще один доход, хотя не обогащавший арестантов, но постоянный и благодетельный. Это подаяние. Высший класс нашего общества не имеет понятия, как заботятся о «несчастных» купцы, мещане и весь народ наш. Подаяние бывает почти беспрерывное и почти всегда хлебом, сайками и калачами, гораздо реже деньгами. Без этих подаяний, во многих местах, арестантам, особенно подсудимым, которые содержатся гораздо строже решоных, было бы слишком трудно. Подаяние религиозно делится арестантами поровну. Если недостанет на всех, то калачи разрезаются поровну, иногда даже на шесть частей, и каждый заключенный непременно получает себе свой кусок. Помню, как я в первый раз получил денежное подаяние. Это было скоро по прибытии моем в острог. Я возвращался с утренней работы один, с конвойным. Навстречу мне прошли мать и дочь, девочка лет десяти, хорошенькая, как ангельчик. Я уже видел их раз. Мать была солдатка, вдова. Ее муж, молодой солдат, был под судом и умер в госпитале, в арестантской палате, в то время, когда и я там лежал больной. Жена и дочь приходили к нему прощаться; обе ужасно плакали. Увидя меня, девочка закраснелась, пошептала что-то матери; та тотчас же остановилась, отыскала в узелке четверть копейки и дала ее девочке. Та бросилась бежать за мной… «На, „несчастный“, возьми Христа ради копеечку!» — кричала она, забегая вперед меня и суя мне в руки монетку. Я взял ее копеечку, и девочка возвратилась к матери совершенно довольная. Эту копеечку я долго берег у себя.

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II. Первые впечатления

Первый месяц и вообще начало моей острожной жизни живо представляются теперь моему воображению. Последующие мои острожные годы мелькают в воспоминании моем гораздо тусклее. Иные как будто совсем стушевались, слились между собою, оставив по себе одно цельное впечатление: тяжелое, однообразное, удушающее.
Но все, что я выжил в первые дни моей каторги, представляется мне теперь как будто вчера случившимся. Да так и должно быть.
Помню ясно, что с первого шагу в этой жизни поразило меня то, что я как будто и не нашел в ней ничего особенно поражающего, необыкновенного или, лучше сказать, неожиданного. Все это как будто и прежде мелькало передо мной в воображении, когда я, идя в Сибирь, старался угадать вперед мою долю. Но скоро бездна самых странных неожиданностей, самых чудовищных фактов начала останавливать меня почти на каждом шагу. И уже только впоследствии, уже довольно долго пожив в остроге, осмыслил я вполне всю исключительность, всю неожиданность такого существования и все более и более дивился на него. Признаюсь, что это удивление сопровождало меня во весь долгий срок моей каторги; я никогда не мог примириться с нею.
Первое впечатление мое, при поступлении в острог, вообще было самое отвратительное; но, несмотря на то, — странное дело! — мне показалось, что в остроге гораздо легче жить, чем я воображал себе дорогой. Арестанты, хоть и в кандалах, ходили свободно по всему острогу, ругались, пели песни, работали на себя, курили трубки, даже пили вино (хотя очень не многие), а по ночам иные заводили картеж. Самая работа, например, показалась мне вовсе не так тяжелою, каторжною, и только довольно долго спустя я догадался, что тягость и каторжность этой работы не столько в трудности и беспрерывности ее, сколько в том, что она — принужденная, обязательная, из-под палки. Мужик на воле работает, пожалуй, и несравненно больше, иногда даже и по ночам, особенно летом; он работает на себя, работает с разумною целью, и ему несравненно легче, чем каторжному на вынужденной и совершенно для него бесполезной работе. Мне пришло раз на мысль, что если б захотели вполне раздавить, уничтожить человека, наказать его самым ужасным наказанием, так что самый страшный убийца содрогнулся бы от этого наказания и пугался его заранее, то стоило бы только придать работе характер совершенной, полнейшей бесполезности и бессмыслицы. Если теперешняя каторжная работа и безынтересна и скучна для каторжного, то сама по себе, как работа, она разумна: арестант делает кирпич, копает землю, штукатурит, строит; в работе этой есть смысл и цель. Каторжный работник иногда даже увлекается ею, хочет сработать ловчее, спорее, лучше. Но если б заставить его, например, переливать воду из одного ушата в другой, а из другого в первый, толочь песок, перетаскивать кучу земли с одного места на другое и обратно, — я думаю, арестант удавился бы через несколько дней или наделал бы тысячу преступлений, чтоб хоть умереть, да выйти из такого унижения, стыда и муки. Разумеется, такое наказание обратилось бы в пытку, в мщение и было бы бессмысленно, потому что не достигало бы никакой разумной цели. Но так как часть такой пытки, бессмыслицы, унижения и стыда есть непременно и во всякой вынужденной работе, то и каторжная работа несравненно мучительнее всякой вольной, именно тем, что вынужденная.
Впрочем, я поступил в острог зимою, в декабре месяце, и еще не имел понятия о летней работе, впятеро тяжелейшей. Зимою же в нашей крепости казенных работ вообще было мало. Арестанты ходили на Иртыш ломать старые казенные барки, работали по мастерским, разгребали у казенных зданий снег, нанесенный буранами, обжигали и толкли алебастр и проч. и проч. Зимний день был короток, работа кончалась скоро, и весь наш люд возвращался в острог рано, где ему почти бы нечего было делать, если б не случалось кой-какой своей работы. Но собственной работой занималась, может быть, только треть арестантов, остальные же били баклуши, слонялись без нужды по всем казармам острога, ругались, заводили меж собой интриги, истории, напивались, если навертывались хоть какие-нибудь деньги; по ночам проигрывали в карты последнюю рубашку, и все это от тоски, от праздности, от нечего делать. Впоследствии я понял, что, кроме лишения свободы, кроме вынужденной работы, в каторжной жизни есть еще одна мука, чуть ли не сильнейшая, чем все другие. Это: вынужденное общее сожительство. Общее сожительство, конечно, есть и в других местах; но в острог-то приходят такие люди, что не всякому хотелось бы сживаться с ними, и я уверен, что всякий каторжный чувствовал эту муку, хотя, конечно, большею частью бессознательно.
Также и пища показалась мне довольно достаточною. Арестанты уверяли, что такой нет в арестантских ротах европейской России. Об этом я не берусь судить: я там не был. К тому же многие имели возможность иметь собственную пищу. Говядина стоила у нас грош за фунт, летом три копейки. Но собственную пищу заводили только те, у которых водились постоянные деньги; большинство же каторги ело казенную. Впрочем, арестанты, хвалясь своею пищею, говорили только про один хлеб и благословляли именно то, что хлеб у нас общий, а не выдается с весу. Последнее их ужасало: при выдаче с весу треть людей была бы голодная; в артели же всем доставало. Хлеб наш был как-то особенно вкусен и этим славился во всем городе. Приписывали это удачному устройству острожных печей. Щи же были очень неказисты. Они варились в общем котле, слегка заправлялись крупой и, особенно в будние дни, были жидкие, тощие. Меня ужаснуло в них огромное количество тараканов. Арестанты же не обращали на это никакого внимания.
Первые три дня я не ходил на работу, так поступали и со всяким новоприбывшим: давалось отдохнуть с дороги. Но на другой же день мне пришлось выйти из острога, чтоб перековаться. Кандалы мои были неформенные, кольчатые, «мелкозвон», как называли их арестанты. Они носились наружу. Форменные же острожные кандалы, приспособленные к работе, состояли не из колец, а из четырех железных прутьев, почти в палец толщиною, соединенных между собою тремя кольцами. Их должно было надевать под панталоны. К серединному кольцу привязывался ремень, который в свою очередь прикреплялся к поясному ремню, надевавшемуся прямо на рубашку.
Помню первое мое утро в казарме. В кордегардии у острожных ворот барабан пробил зорю, и минут через десять караульный унтер-офицер начал отпирать казармы. Стали просыпаться. При тусклом свете, от шестериковой сальной свечи, подымались арестанты, дрожа от холода, с своих нар. Большая часть была молчалива и угрюма со сна. Они зевали, потягивались и морщили свои клейменые лбы. Иные крестились, другие уже начинали вздорить. Духота была страшная. Свежий зимний воздух ворвался в дверь, как только ее отворили, и клубами пара понесся по казарме. У ведер с водой столпились арестанты; они по очереди брали ковш, набирали в рот воды и умывали себе руки и лицо изо рта. Вода заготовлялась с вечера парашником. Во всякой казарме по положению был один арестант, выбранный артелью, для прислуги в казарме. Он назывался парашником и не ходил на работу. Его занятие состояло в наблюдении за чистотой казармы, в мытье и в скоблении нар и полов, в приносе и выносе ночного ушата и в доставлении свежей воды в два ведра — утром для умывания, а днем для питья. Из-за ковша, который был один, начались немедленно ссоры.
— Куда лезешь, язевый лоб! — ворчал один угрюмый высокий арестант, сухощавый и смуглый, с какими-то странными выпуклостями на своем бритом черепе, толкая другого, толстого и приземистого, с веселым и румяным лицом, — постой!
— Чего кричишь! За постой у нас деньги платят; сам проваливай! Ишь, монумент вытянулся. То есть никакой-то, братцы, в нем фортикультяпности нет.
«Фортикультяпность» произвела некоторый эффект: многие засмеялись. Того только и надо было толстяку, который, очевидно, был в казарме чем-то вроде добровольного шута. Высокий арестант посмотрел на него с глубочайшим презрением.
— Бирюлина корова! — проговорил он как бы про себя, — ишь, отъелся на острожном чистяке![1] Рад, что к разговенью двенадцать поросят принесет.
Толстяк наконец рассердился.
— Да ты что за птица такая? — вскричал он вдруг, раскрасневшись.
— То и есть, что птица!
— Какая?
— Такая.
— Какая такая?
— Да уж одно слово такая.
— Да какая?
Оба впились глазами друг в друга. Толстяк ждал ответа и сжал кулаки, как будто хотел тотчас же кинуться в драку. Я и вправду думал, что будет драка. Для меня все это было ново, и я смотрел с любопытством. Но впоследствии я узнал, что все подобные сцены были чрезвычайно невинны и разыгрывались, как в комедии, для всеобщего удовольствия; до драки же никогда почти не доходило. Все это было довольно характерно и изображало нравы острога.
Высокий арестант стоял спокойно и величаво. Он чувствовал, что на него смотрят и ждут, осрамится ли он или нет своим ответом; что надо было поддерживать себя, доказать, что он действительно птица, и показать, какая именно птица. С невыразимым презрением скосил он глаза на своего противника, стараясь, для большей обиды, посмотреть на него как-то через плечо, сверху вниз, как будто он разглядывал его как букашку, и медленно и внятно произнес:
— Каган!..
То есть что он птица каган. Громкий залп хохота приветствовал находчивость арестанта.
— Подлец ты, а не каган! — заревел толстяк, почувствовав, что срезался на всех пунктах, и дойдя до крайнего бешенства.
Но только что ссора стала серьезною, молодцов немедленно осадили.
— Что загалдели! — закричала на них вся казарма.
— Да вы лучше подеритесь, чем горло-то драть! — прокричал кто-то из-за угла.
— Да, держи, подерутся! — раздалось в ответ. — У нас народ бойкий, задорный; семеро одного не боимся…
— Да и оба хороши! Один за фунт хлеба в острог пришел, а другой — крыночная блудница, у бабы простоквашу поел, зато и кнута хватил.
— Ну-ну-ну! полно вам, — закричал инвалид, проживавший для порядка в казарме и поэтому спавший в углу на особой койке.
— Вода, ребята! Невалид Петрович проснулся! Невалиду Петровичу, родимому братцу!
— Брат… Какой я тебе брат? Рубля вместе не пропили, а брат! — ворчал инвалид, натягивая в рукава шинель…
Готовились к поверке; начало рассветать; в кухне набралась густая толпа народу, не в прорез. Арестанты толпились в своих полушубках и в половинчатых шапках у хлеба, который резал им один из кашеваров. Кашевары выбирались артелью, в каждую кухню по двое. У них же сохранялся и кухонный нож для резания хлеба и мяса, на всю кухню один.
По всем углам и около столов разместились арестанты, в шапках, в полушубках и подпоясанные, готовые выйти сейчас на работу. Перед некоторыми стояли деревянные чашки с квасом. В квас крошили хлеб и прихлебывали. Гам и шум был нестерпимый; но некоторые благоразумно и тихо разговаривали по углам.
— Старичку Антонычу хлеб да соль, здравствуй! — проговорил молодой арестант, усаживаясь подле нахмуренного и беззубого арестанта.
— Ну, здравствуй, коли не шутишь, — проговорил тот, не поднимая глаз и стараясь ужевать хлеб своими беззубыми деснами.
— А ведь я, Антоныч, думал, что ты помер; право-ну.
— Нет, ты сперва помри, а я после…
Я сел подле них. Справа меня разговаривали два степенные арестанта, видимо стараясь друг перед другом сохранить свою важность.
— У меня небось не украдут, — говорил один, — я, брат, сам боюсь, как бы чего не украсть.
— Ну, да и меня голой рукой не бери: обожгу.
— Да чего обожжешь-то! Такой же варнак; больше и названья нам нет… она тебя оберет, да и не поклонится. Тут, брат, и моя копеечка умылась. Намедни сама пришла. Куда с ней деться? Начал проситься к Федьке-палачу; у него еще в форштадте дом стоял, у Соломонки-паршивого, у жида купил, вот еще который потом удавился…
— Знаю. Он у нас в третьем годе в целовальниках сидел, а по прозвищу Гришка — темный кабак. Знаю.
— А вот и не знаешь; это другой темный кабак.
— Как не другой! Знать, ты толсто знаешь! Да я тебе столько посредственников приведу…
— Приведешь! Ты откуда, а я чей?
— Чей! Да я вот тебя и бивал, да не хвастаю, а то еще чей!
— Ты бивал! Да кто меня прибьет, еще тот не родился; а кто бивал, тот в земле лежит.
— Чума бендерская!
— Чтоб те язвила язва сибирская!
— Чтоб с тобою говорила турецкая сабля!..
И пошла ругань.
— Ну-ну-ну! Загалдели! — закричали кругом. — На воле не умели жить; рады, что здесь до чистяка добрались…
Тотчас уймут. Ругаться, «колотить» языком позволяется. Это отчасти и развлечение для всех. Но до драки не всегда допустят, и только разве в исключительном случае враги подерутся. О драке донесут майору; начнутся розыски, приедет сам майор, — одним словом, всем нехорошо будет, а потому-то драка и не допускается. Да и сами враги ругаются больше для развлечения, для упражнения в слоге. Нередко сами себя обманывают, начинают с страшной горячкой, остервенением… думаешь: вот бросятся друг на друга; ничуть не бывало: дойдут до известной точки и тотчас расходятся. Все это меня сначала чрезвычайно удивляло. Я нарочно привел здесь пример самых обыкновенных каторжных разговоров. Не мог я представить себе сперва, как можно ругаться из удовольствия, находить в этом забаву, милое упражнение, приятность? Впрочем, не надо забывать и тщеславия. Диалектик-ругатель был в уважении. Ему только что не аплодировали, как актеру.
Еще вчера с вечера заметил я, что на меня смотрят косо.
Я уже поймал несколько мрачных взглядов. Напротив, другие арестанты ходили около меня, подозревая, что я принес с собой деньги. Они тотчас же стали подслуживаться: начали учить меня, как носить новые кандалы; достали мне, конечно за деньги, сундучок с замком, чтоб спрятать в него уже выданные мне казенные вещи и несколько моего белья, которое я принес в острог. На другой же день они у меня его украли и пропили. Один из них сделался впоследствии преданнейшим мне человеком, хотя и не переставал обкрадывать меня при всяком удобном случае. Он делал это без всякого смущения, почти бессознательно, как будто по обязанности, и на него невозможно было сердиться.
Между прочим, они научили меня, что должно иметь свой чай, что не худо мне завести и чайник, а покамест достали мне на подержание чужой и рекомендовали мне кашевара, говоря, что копеек за тридцать в месяц он будет стряпать мне что угодно, если я пожелаю есть особо и покупать себе провиант… Разумеется, они заняли у меня денег, и каждый из них в один первый день приходил занимать раза по три.
На бывших дворян в каторге вообще смотрят мрачно и неблагосклонно.
Несмотря на то, что те уже лишены всех своих прав состояния и вполне сравнены с остальными арестантами, — арестанты никогда не признают их своими товарищами. Это делается даже не по сознательному предубеждению, а так, совершенно искренно, бессознательно. Они искренно признавали нас за дворян, несмотря на то, что сами же любили дразнить нас нашим падением.
— Нет, теперь полно! постой! Бывало, Петр через Москву прет, а нынче Петр веревки вьет, — и проч. и проч. любезности.
Они с любовью смотрели на наши страдания, которые мы старались им не показывать. Особенно доставалось нам сначала на работе, за то, что в нас не было столько силы, как в них, и что мы не могли им вполне помогать. Нет ничего труднее, как войти к народу в доверенность (и особенно к такому народу) и заслужить его любовь.
В каторге было несколько человек из дворян. Во-первых, человек пять поляков. Об них я поговорю когда-нибудь особо. Каторжные страшно не любили поляков, даже больше, чем ссыльных из русских дворян. Поляки (я говорю об одних политических преступниках) были с ними как-то утонченно, обидно вежливы, крайне несообщительны и никак не могли скрыть перед арестантами своего к ним отвращения, а те понимали это очень хорошо и платили той же монетою.
Мне надо было почти два года прожить в остроге, чтоб приобрести расположение некоторых из каторжных. Но большая часть из них наконец меня полюбила и признала за «хорошего» человека.
Из русских дворян, кроме меня, было четверо. Один — низкое и подленькое создание, страшно развращенное, шпион и доносчик по ремеслу. Я слышал о нем еще до прихода в острог и с первых же дней прервал с ним всякие отношения. Другой — тот самый отцеубийца, о котором я уже говорил в своих записках. Третий был Аким Акимыч; редко видал я такого чудака, как этот Аким Акимыч. Резко отпечатался он в моей памяти. Был он высок, худощав, слабоумен, ужасно безграмотен, чрезвычайный резонер и аккуратен, как немец. Каторжные смеялись над ним; но некоторые даже боялись с ним связываться за придирчивый, взыскательный и вздорный его характер. Он с первого шагу стал с ними запанибрата, ругался с ними, даже дрался. Честен он был феноменально. Заметит несправедливость и тотчас же ввяжется, хоть бы не его было дело. Наивен до крайности: он, например, бранясь с арестантами, корил их иногда за то, что они были воры, и серьезно убеждал их не воровать. Служил он на Кавказе прапорщиком. Мы сошлись с ним с первого же дня, и он тотчас же рассказал мне свое дело. Начал он на Кавказе же, с юнкеров, по пехотному полку, долго тянул лямку, наконец был произведен в офицеры и отправлен в какое-то укрепление старшим начальником. Один соседний мирной князек зажег его крепость и сделал на нее ночное нападение; оно не удалось. Аким Акимыч схитрил и не показал даже виду, что знает, кто злоумышленник. Дело свалили на немирных, а через месяц Аким Акимыч зазвал князька к себе по-дружески в гости. Тот приехал, ничего не подозревая. Аким Акимыч выстроил свой отряд; уличал и укорял князька всенародно; доказал ему, что крепости зажигать стыдно. Тут же прочел ему самое подробное наставление, как должно мирному князю вести себя вперед, и, в заключение, расстрелял его, о чем немедленно и донес начальству со всеми подробностями. За все это его судили, приговорили к смертной казни, но смягчили приговор и сослали в Сибирь, в каторгу второго разряда, в крепостях, на двенадцать лет. Он вполне сознавал, что поступил неправильно, говорил мне, что знал об этом и перед расстрелянием князька, знал, что мирного должно было судить по законам; но, несмотря на то, что знал это, он как будто никак на мог понять своей вины настоящим образом:
— Да помилуйте! Ведь он зажег мою крепость? Что ж мне, поклониться, что ли, ему за это! — говорил он мне, отвечая на мои возражения.
Но, несмотря на то что арестанты подсмеивались над придурью Акима Акимыча, они все-таки уважали его за аккуратность и умелость.
Не было ремесла, которого бы не знал Аким Акимыч. Он был столяр, сапожник, башмачник, маляр, золотильщик, слесарь, и всему этому обучился уже в каторге. Он делал все самоучкой: взглянет раз и сделает. Он делал тоже разные ящики, корзинки, фонарики, детские игрушки и продавал их в городе. Таким образом, у него водились деньжонки, и он немедленно употреблял их на лишнее белье, на подушку помягче, завел складной тюфячок. Помещался он в одной казарме со мною и многим услужил мне в первые дни моей каторги.
Выходя из острога на работу, арестанты строились перед кордегардией в два ряда; спереди и сзади арестантов выстроивались конвойные солдаты с заряженными ружьями. Являлись: инженерный офицер, кондуктор и несколько инженерных нижних чинов, приставов над работами. Кондуктор рассчитывал арестантов и посылал их партиями куда нужно на работу.
Вместе с другими я отправился в инженерную мастерскую. Это было низенькое каменное здание, стоящее на большом дворе, заваленном разными материалами. Тут была кузница, слесарня, столярная, малярная и проч. Аким Акимыч ходил сюда и работал в малярной, варил олифу, составлял краски и разделывал столы и мебель под орех.
В ожидании перековки я разговорился с Акимом Акимычем о первых моих впечатлениях в остроге.
— Да-с, дворян они не любят, — заметил он, — особенно политических, съесть рады; немудрено-с. Во-первых, вы и народ другой, на них не похожий, а во-вторых, они все прежде были или помещичьи, или из военного звания. Сами посудите, могут ли они вас полюбить-с? Здесь, я вам скажу, жить трудно. А в российских арестантских ротах еще труднее-с. Вот у нас есть оттуда, так не нахвалятся нашим острогом, точно из ада в рай перешли. Не в работе беда-с. Говорят, там, в первом-то разряде, начальство не совершенно военное-с, по крайней мере другим манером, чем у нас, поступает-с. Там, говорят, ссыльный может жить своим домком. Я там не был, да так говорят-с. Не бреют; в мундирах не ходят-с; хотя, впрочем, оно и хорошо, что у нас они в мундирном виде и бритые; все-таки порядку больше, да и глазу приятнее-с. Да только им-то это не нравится. Да и посмотрите, сброд-то какой-с! Иной из кантонистов, другой из черкесов, третий из раскольников, четвертый православный мужичок, семью, детей милых оставил на родине, пятый жид, шестой цыган, седьмой неизвестно кто, и все-то они должны ужиться вместе во что бы то ни стало, согласиться друг с другом, есть из одной чашки, спать на одних нарах. Да и воля-то какая: лишний кусок можно съесть только украдкой, всякий грош в сапоги прятать, и все только и есть, что острог да острог… Поневоле дурь пойдет в голову.
Но это я уж знал. Мне особенно хотелось расспросить о нашем майоре. Аким Акимыч не секретничал, и, помню, впечатление мое было не совсем приятное.
Но еще два года мне суждено было прожить под его начальством. Все, что рассказал мне о нем Аким Акимыч, оказалось вполне справедливым, с тою разницей, что впечатление действительности всегда сильнее, чем впечатление от простого рассказа. Страшный был этот человек именно потому, что такой человек был начальником, почти неограниченным, над двумястами душ. Сам по себе он только был беспорядочный и злой человек, больше ничего. На арестантов он смотрел как на своих естественных врагов, и это была первая и главная ошибка его. Он действительно имел некоторые способности; но все, даже и хорошее, представлялось в нем в таком исковерканном виде. Невоздержный, злой, он врывался в острог даже иногда по ночам, а если замечал, что арестант спит на левом боку или навзничь, то наутро его наказывали; «Спи, дескать, на правом боку, как я приказал». В остроге его ненавидели и боялись как чумы. Лицо у него было багровое, злобное. Все знали, что он был вполне в руках своего денщика, Федьки. Любил же он больше всего своего пуделя Трезорку и чуть с ума не сошел с горя, когда Трезорка заболел. Говорят, что он рыдал над ним, как над родным сыном; прогнал одного ветеринара и, по своему обыкновению, чуть не подрался с ним и, услышав от Федьки, что в остроге есть арестант, ветеринар-самоучка, который лечил чрезвычайно удачно, немедленно призвал его.
— Выручи! Озолочу тебя, вылечи Трезорку! — закричал он арестанту.
Это был мужик-сибиряк, хитрый, умный, действительно очень ловкий ветеринар, но вполне мужичок.
— Смотрю я на Трезорку, — рассказывал он потом арестантам, впрочем, долго спустя после своего визита к майору, когда уже все было забыто, — смотрю: лежит пес на диване, на белой подушке; и ведь вижу, что воспаление, что надоть бы кровь пустить, и вылечился бы пес, ей-ей говорю! да думаю про себя: «А что, как не вылечу, как околеет?» «Нет, говорю, ваше высокоблагородие, поздно позвали; кабы вчера или третьего дня, в это же время, так вылечил бы пса; а теперь не могу, не вылечу… »
Так и умер Трезорка.
Мне рассказывали в подробности, как хотели убить нашего майора. Был в остроге один арестант. Он жил у нас уже несколько лет и отличался своим кротким поведением. Замечали тоже, что он почти ни с кем никогда не говорил. Его так и считали каким-то юродивым. Он был грамотный и весь последний год постоянно читал Библию, читал и днем и ночью. Когда все засыпали, он вставал в полночь, зажигал восковую церковную свечу, взлезал на печку, раскрывал книгу и читал до утра. В один день он пошел и объявил унтер-офицеру, что не хочет идти на работу. Доложили майору; тот вскипел и прислал немедленно сам. Арестант бросился на него с приготовленным заранее кирпичом, но промахнулся. Его схватили, судили и наказали. Все произошло очень скоро. Через три дня он умер в больнице. Умирая, он говорил, что не имел ни на кого зла, а хотел только пострадать. Он, впрочем, не принадлежал ни к какой раскольничьей секте. В остроге вспоминали о нем с уважением.
Наконец меня перековали. Между тем в мастерскую явились одна за другой несколько калашниц. Иные были совсем маленькие девочки. До зрелого возраста они ходили обыкновенно с калачами; матери пекли, а они продавали. Войдя в возраст, они продолжали ходить, но уже без калачей; так почти всегда водилось. Были и не девочки. Калач стоил грош, и арестанты почти все их покупали.
Я заметил одного арестанта, столяра, уже седенького, но румяного и с улыбкой заигрывавшего с калашницами. Перед их приходом он только что навертел на шею красненький кумачный платочек. Одна толстая и совершенно рябая бабенка поставила на его верстак свою сельницу. Между ними начался разговор.
— Что ж вы вчера не приходили? — заговорил арестант с самодовольной улыбочкой.
— Вот! Я пришла, а вас Митькой звали, — отвечала бойкая бабенка.
— Нас потребовали, а то бы мы неизменно находились при месте… А ко мне третьего дня все ваши приходили.
— Кто да кто?
— Марьяшка приходила, Хаврошка приходила. Чекунда приходила, Двугрошовая приходила…
— Это что же? — спросил я Аким Акимыча, — неужели?..
— Бывает-с, — отвечал он, скромно опустив глаза, потому что был чрезвычайно целомудренный человек.
Это, конечно, бывало, но очень редко и с величайшими трудностями. Вообще было больше охотников, например, хоть выпить, чем на такое дело, несмотря на всю естественную тягость вынужденной жизни. До женщин было трудно добраться. Надо было выбирать время, место, условливаться, назначать свидания, искать уединения, что было особенно трудно, склонять конвойных, что было еще труднее, и вообще тратить бездну денег, судя относительно. Но все-таки мне удавалось впоследствии, иногда, быть свидетелем и любовных сцен. Помню, однажды летом мы были втроем в каком-то сарае на берегу Иртыша и протапливали какую-то обжигательную печку; конвойные были добрые. Наконец, явились две «суфлеры», как называют их арестанты.
— Ну, что так засиделись? Небось у Зверковых? — встретил их арестант, к которому они пришли, давно уже их ожидавший.
— Я засиделась? Да давеча сорока на коле дольше, чем я у них, посидела, — отвечала весело девица.
Это была наигрязнейшая девица в мире. Она-то и была Чекунда. С ней вместе пришла Двугрошовая. Эта уже была вне всякого описания.
— И с вами давно не видались, — продолжал волокита, обращаясь к Двугрошовой, — что это вы словно как похудели?
— А может быть. Прежде-то я куды была толстая, а теперь — вот словно иглу проглотила.
— Все по солдатикам-с?
— Нет уж это вам про нас злые люди набухвостили; а впрочем, что ж-с? Хоть без ребрушка ходить, да солдатика любить!
— А вы их бросьте, а нас любите; у нас деньги есть…
В довершение картины представьте себе этого волокиту, бритого, в кандалах, полосатого и под конвоем.
Я простился с Акимом Акимычем и, узнав, что мне можно воротиться в острог, взял конвойного и пошел домой. Народ уже сходился. Прежде всех возвращаются с работы работающие на уроки. Единственное средство заставить арестанта работать усердно, это — задать ему урок. Иногда уроки задаются огромные, но все-таки они кончаются вдвое скорее, чем если б заставили работать вплоть до обеденного барабана. Окончив урок, арестант беспрепятственно шел домой, и уже никто его не останавливал.
Обедают не вместе, а как попало, кто раньше пришел; да и кухня не вместила бы всех разом. Я попробовал щей, но с непривычки не мог их есть и заварил себе чаю. Мы уселись на конце стола. Со мной был один товарищ, так же как и я, из дворян.
Арестанты приходили и уходили. Было, впрочем, просторно, еще не все собрались. Кучка в пять человек уселась особо за большим столом. Кашевар налил им две чашки щей и поставил на стол целую латку с жареной рыбой. Они что-то праздновали и ели свое. На нас они поглядели искоса. Вошел один поляк и сел рядом с ними.
— Дома не был, а все знаю! — громко закричал один высокий арестант, входя в кухню и взглядом окидывая всех присутствующих.
Он был лет пятидесяти, мускулист и сухощав. В лице его было что-то лукавое и вместе веселое. В особенности замечательна была его толстая, нижняя, отвисшая губа; она придавала его лицу что-то чрезвычайно комическое.
— Ну, здорово ночевали! Что ж не здороваетесь? Нашим курским! — прибавил он, усаживаясь подле обедавших свое кушанье, — хлеб да соль! Встречайте гостя.
— Да мы, брат, не курские.
— Аль тамбовские?
— Да и не тамбовские. С нас, брат, тебе нечего взять. Ты ступай к богатому мужику, там проси.
— В брюхе-то у меня, братцы, сегодня Иван Таскун да Марья Икотишна; а где он, богатый мужик, живет?
— Да вон Газин богатый мужик; к нему и ступай.
— Купит, братцы, сегодня Газин, запил; весь кошель пропивает.
— Целковых двадцать есть, — заметил другой. — Выгодно, братцы, целовальником быть.
— Что ж, не примете гостя? Ну, так похлебаем и казенного.
— Да ты ступай проси чаю. Вон баре пьют.
— Какие баре, тут нет бар; такие же, как и мы теперь, — мрачно промолвил один, сидевший в углу арестант. До сих пор он не проговорил слова.
— Напился бы чаю, да просить совестно: мы с амбицией! — заметил арестант с толстой губой, добродушно смотря на нас.
— Если хотите, я вам дам, — сказал я, приглашая арестанта, — угодно?
— Угодно? Да уж как не угодно! — Он подошел к столу.
— Ишь, дома лаптем щи хлебал, а здесь чай узнал; господского питья захотелось, — проговорил мрачный арестант.
— А разве здесь никто не пьет чаю? — спросил я его, но он не удостоил меня ответом.
— Вот и калачи несут. Уж удостойте и калачика!
Внесли калачи. Молодой арестант нес целую связку и распродавал ее по острогу. Калашница уступала ему десятый калач; на этот-то калач он и рассчитывал.
— Калачи, калачи! — кричал он, входя в кухню, — московские, горячие! Сам бы ел, да денег надо. Ну, ребята, последний калач остался: у кого мать была?
Это воззвание к материнской любви рассмешило всех, и у него взяли несколько калачей.
— А что, братцы, — проговорил он, — ведь Газин-то сегодня догуляется до греха! Ей-богу! Когда гулять вздумал. Неравно осмиглазый придет.
— Спрячут. А что, крепко пьян?
— Куды! Злой, пристает.
— Ну, так догуляется до кулаков…
— Про кого они говорят? — спросил я поляка, сидевшего рядом со мною.
— Это Газин, арестант. Он торгует здесь вином. Когда наторгует денег, тотчас же их пропивает. Он жесток и зол; впрочем, трезвый смирен; когда же напьется, то весь наружу; на людей с ножом кидается. Тут уж его унимают.
— Как же унимают?
— На него бросаются человек десять арестантов и начинают ужасно бить, до тех пор, пока он не лишится всех чувств, то есть бьют до полусмерти. Тогда укладывают его на нары и накрывают полушубком.
— Да ведь они могут его убить?
— Другого бы убили, но не его. Он ужасно силен, сильнее здесь всех в остроге и самого крепкого сложения. На другое же утро он встает совершенно здоровый.
— Скажите, пожалуйста, — продолжал я расспрашивать поляка, — ведь вот они тоже едят свое кушанье, а я пью чай. А между тем они смотрят, как будто завидуют за этот чай. Что это значит?
— Это не за чай, — отвечал поляк. — Они злятся на вас за то, что вы дворянин и на них не похожи. Многие из них желали бы к вам придраться. Им бы очень хотелось вас оскорбить, унизить. Вы еще много увидите здесь неприятностей. Здесь ужасно тяжело для всех нас. Нам всех тяжелее во всех отношениях. Нужно много равнодушия, чтоб к этому привыкнуть. Вы еще не раз встретите неприятности и брань за чай и за особую пищу, несмотря на то, что здесь очень многие и очень часто едят свое, а некоторые постоянно пьют чай. Им можно, а вам нельзя.
Проговорив это, он встал и ушел из-за стола. Через несколько минут сбылись и слова его…

1. ↑ Чистяком назывался хлеб из чистой муки, без примеси. (Прим. автора.)

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III. Первые впечатления

Только что ушел М-цкий (тот поляк, который говорил со мною), Газин, совершенно пьяный, ввалился в кухню.
Пьяный арестант, среди бела дня, в будний день, когда все обязаны были выходить на работу, при строгом начальнике, который каждую минуту мог приехать в острог, при унтер-офицере, заведующем каторжными и находящемся в остроге безотлучно, при караульных, при инвалидах — одним словом, при всех этих строгостях совершенно спутывал все зарождавшиеся во мне понятия об арестантском житье-бытье. И довольно долго пришлось мне прожить в остроге, прежде чем я разъяснил себе все такие факты, столь загадочные для меня в первые дни моей каторги.
Я говорил уже, что у арестантов всегда была собственная работа и что эта работа — естественная потребность каторжной жизни; что, кроме этой потребности, арестант страстно любит деньги и ценит их выше всего, почти наравне с свободой, и что он уже утешен, если они звенят у него в кармане. Напротив, он уныл, грустен, беспокоен и падает духом, если их нет, и тогда он готов и на воровство и на что попало, только бы их добыть. Но, несмотря на то, что в остроге деньги были такою драгоценностью, они никогда не залеживались у счастливца, их имеющего. Во-первых, трудно было их сохранить, чтоб не украли или не отобрали. Если майор добирался до них, при внезапных обысках, то немедленно отбирал. Может быть, он употреблял их на улучшение арестантской пищи; по крайней мере они приносились к нему. Но всего чаще их крали: ни на кого нельзя было положиться. Впоследствии у нас открыли способ сохранять деньги с полною безопасностью. Они отдавались на сохранение старику староверу, поступившему к нам из стародубовских слобод, бывших когда-то Ветковцев… Но не могу утерпеть, чтоб не сказать о нем несколько слов, хотя и отвлекаюсь от предмета.
Это был старичок лет шестидесяти, маленький, седенький. Он резко поразил меня с первого взгляда. Он так не похож был на других арестантов: что-то до того спокойное и тихое было в его взгляде, что, помню, я с каким-то особенным удовольствием смотрел на его ясные, светлые глаза, окруженные мелкими лучистыми морщинками. Часто говорил я с ним и редко встречал такое доброе, благодушное существо в моей жизни. Прислали его за чрезвычайно важное преступление. Между стародубовскими старообрядцами стали появляться обращенные. Правительство сильно поощряло их и стало употреблять все усилия для дальнейшего обращения и других несогласных. Старик, вместе с другими фанатиками, решился «стоять за веру», как он выражался. Началась строиться единоверческая церковь, и они сожгли ее. Как один из зачинщиков старик сослан был в каторжную работу. Был он зажиточный, торгующий мещанин; дома оставил жену, детей; но с твердостью пошел в ссылку, потому что в ослеплении своем считал ее «мукою за веру». Прожив с ним некоторое время, вы бы невольно задали себе вопрос: как мог этот смиренный, кроткий как дитя человек быть бунтовщиком? Я несколько раз заговаривал с ним «о вере». Он не уступал ничего из своих убеждений; но никогда никакой злобы, никакой ненависти не было в его возражениях. А между тем он разорил церковь и не запирался в этом. Казалось, что, по своим убеждениям, свой поступок и принятые за него «муки» он должен бы был считать славным делом. Но как ни всматривался я, как ни изучал его, никогда никакого признака тщеславия или гордости не замечал я в нем. Были у нас в остроге и другие старообрядцы, большею частью сибиряки. Это был сильно развитой народ, хитрые мужики, чрезвычайные начетчики и буквоеды и по-своему сильные диалектики; народ надменный, заносчивый, лукавый и нетерпимый в высочайшей степени. Совсем другой человек был старик. Начетчик, может быть, больше их, он уклонялся от споров. Характера был в высшей степени сообщительного. Он был весел, часто смеялся — не тем грубым, циническим смехом, каким смеялись каторжные, а ясным, тихим смехом, в котором много было детского простодушия и который как-то особенно шел к сединам. Может быть, я ошибаюсь, но мне кажется, что по смеху можно узнать человека, и если вам с первой встречи приятен смех кого-нибудь из совершенно незнакомых людей, то смело говорите, что это человек хороший. Во всем остроге старик приобрел всеобщее уважение, которым нисколько не тщеславился. Арестанты называли его дедушкой и никогда не обижали его. Я отчасти понял, какое мог он иметь влияние на своих единоверцев. Но, несмотря на видимую твердость, с которою он переживал свою каторгу, в нем таилась глубокая, неизлечимая грусть, которую он старался скрывать от всех. Я жил с ним в одной казарме. Однажды, часу в третьем ночи, я проснулся и услышал тихий, сдержанный плач. Старик сидел на печи (той самой, на которой прежде него по ночам молился зачитавшийся арестант, хотевший убить майора) и молился по своей рукописной книге. Он плакал, и я слышал, как он говорил по временам: «Господи, не оставь меня! Господи, укрепи меня! Детушки мои малые, детушки мои милые, никогда-то нам не свидаться! » Не могу рассказать, как мне стало грустно. Вот этому-то старику мало-помалу почти все арестанты начали отдавать свои деньги на хранение. В каторге почти все были воры, но вдруг все почему-то уверились, что старик никак не может украсть. Знали, что он куда-то прятал врученные ему деньги, но в такое потаенное место, что никому нельзя было их отыскать. Впоследствии мне и некоторым из поляков он объяснил свою тайну. В одной из паль был сучок, по-видимому твердо сросшийся с деревом. Но он вынимался, и в дереве оказалось большое углубление. Туда-то дедушка прятал деньги и потом опять вкладывал сучок, так что никто никогда не мог ничего отыскать.
Но я отклонился от рассказа. Я остановился на том: почему в кармане у арестанта не залеживались деньги. Но, кроме труда уберечь их, в остроге было столько тоски; арестант же, по природе своей, существо до того жаждущее свободы и, наконец, по социальному своему положению, до того легкомысленное и беспорядочное, что его, естественно, влечет вдруг «развернуться на все», закутить на весь капитал, с громом и с музыкой, так, чтоб забыть, хоть на минутку, тоску свою. Даже странно было смотреть, как иной из них работает, не разгибая шеи, иногда по нескольку месяцев, единственно для того, чтоб в один день спустить весь заработок, все дочиста, а потом опять, до нового кутежа, несколько месяцев корпеть за работой. Многие из них любили заводить себе обновки, и непременно партикулярного свойства: какие-нибудь неформенные, черные штаны, поддевки, сибирки. В большом употреблении были тоже ситцевые рубашки и пояса с медными бляхами. Рядились в праздники, и разрядившийся непременно, бывало, пройдет по всем казармам показать себя всему свету. Довольство хорошо одетого доходило до ребячества; да и во многом арестанты были совершенно дети. Правда, все эти хорошие вещи как-то вдруг исчезали от хозяина, иногда в тот же вечер закладывались и спускались за бесценок. Впрочем, кутеж развертывался постепенно. Пригонялся он обыкновенно или к праздничным дням, или к дням именин кутившего. Арестант-именинник, вставая поутру, ставил к образу свечку и молился; потом наряжался и заказывал себе обед. Покупалась говядина, рыба, делались сибирские пельмени; он наедался как вол, почти всегда один, редко приглашая товарищей разделить свою трапезу. Потом появлялось и вино: именинник напивался как стелька и непременно ходил по казармам, покачиваясь и спотыкаясь, стараясь показать всем, что он пьян, что он «гуляет», и тем заслужил всеобщее уважение. Везде в русском народе к пьяному чувствуется некоторая симпатия; в остроге же к загулявшему даже делались почтительны. В острожной гульбе был своего рода аристократизм. Развеселившись, арестант непременно нанимал музыку. Был в остроге один полячок из беглых солдат, очень гаденький, но игравший на скрипке и имевший при себе инструмент — все свое достояние. Ремесла он не имел никакого и тем только и промышлял, что нанимался к гуляющим играть веселые танцы. Должность его состояла в том, чтоб безотлучно следовать за своим пьяным хозяином из казармы в казарму и пилить на скрипке изо всей мочи. Часто на лице его являлась скука, тоска. Но окрик: «Играй, деньги взял! » — заставлял его снова пилить и пилить. Арестант, начиная гулять, мог быть твердо уверен, что если он уж очень напьется, то за ним непременно присмотрят, вовремя уложат спать и всегда куда-нибудь спрячут при появлении начальства, и все это совершенно бескорыстно. С своей стороны, унтер-офицер и инвалиды, жившие для порядка в остроге, могли быть тоже совершенно спокойны: пьяный не мог произвести никакого беспорядка. За ним смотрела вся казарма, и если б он зашумел, забунтовал — его бы тотчас же усмирили, даже просто связали бы. А потому низшее острожное начальство смотрело на пьянство сквозь пальцы, да и не хотело замечать. Оно очень хорошо знало, что не позволь вина, так будет и хуже. Но откуда же доставалось вино?
Вино покупалось в остроге же у так называемых целовальников. Их было несколько человек, и торговлю свою они вели беспрерывно и успешно, несмотря на то что пьющих и «гуляющих» было вообще немного, потому что гульба требовала денег, а арестантские деньги добывались трудно. Торговля начиналась, шла и разрешалась довольно оригинальным образом. Иной арестант, положим, не имеет ремесла и не желает трудиться (такие бывали), но хочет иметь деньги и притом человек нетерпеливый, хочет скоро нажиться. У него есть несколько денег для начала, и он решается торговать вином: предприятие смелое, требующее большого риску. Можно было за него поплатиться спиной и разом лишиться товара и капитала. Но целовальник на то идет. Денег у него сначала немного, и потому в первый раз он сам проносит в острог вино и, разумеется, сбывает его выгодным образом. Он повторяет опыт второй и третий раз, и если не попадается начальству, то быстро расторговывается, и только тогда основывает настоящую торговлю на широких основаниях: делается антрепренером, капиталистом, держит агентов и помощников, рискует гораздо меньше, а наживается все больше и больше. Рискуют за него помощники.
В остроге всегда бывает много народу промотавшегося, проигравшегося, прогулявшего все до копейки, народу без ремесла, жалкого и оборванного, но одаренного до известной степени смелостью и решимостью. У таких людей остается, в виде капитала, в целости одна только спина; она может еще служить к чему-нибудь, и вот этот-то последний капитал промотавшийся гуляка и решается пустить в оборот, Он идет к антрепренеру и нанимается к нему для проноски в острог вина; у богатого целовальника таких работников несколько. Где-нибудь вне острога существует такой человек — из солдат, из мещан, иногда даже девка, — который на деньги антрепренера и за известную премию, сравнительно очень немалую, покупает в кабаке вино и скрывает его где-нибудь в укромном местечке, куда арестанты приходят на работу. Почти всегда поставщик первоначально испробывает доброту водки и отпитое бесчеловечно добавляет водой; бери не бери, да арестанту и нельзя быть слишком разборчивым: и то хорошо, что еще не совсем пропали его деньги и доставлена водка, хоть какая-нибудь, да все-таки водка. К этому-то поставщику и являются указанные ему наперед от острожного целовальника проносители, с бычачьими кишками. Эти кишки сперва промываются, потом наливаются водой и, таким образом, сохраняются в первоначальной влажности и растяжимости, чтобы со временем быть удобными к восприятию водки. Налив кишки водкой, арестант обвязывает их кругом себя, по возможности в самых скрытых местах своего тела. Разумеется, при этом выказывается вся ловкость, вся воровская хитрость контрабандиста. Его честь отчасти затронута; ему надо надуть и конвойных и караульных. Он их надувает: у хорошего вора конвойный, иногда какой-нибудь рекрутик, всегда прозевает. Разумеется, конвойный изучается предварительно; к тому же принимается в соображение время, место работы. Арестант, например печник, полезет на печь: кто увидит, что он там делает? Не лезть же за ним и конвойному. Подходя к острогу, он берет в руки монетку — пятнадцать или двадцать копеек серебром, на всякий случай, и ждет у ворот ефрейтора. Всякого арестанта, возвращающегося с работы, караульный ефрейтор осматривает кругом и ощупывает и потом уже отпирает ему двери острога. Проноситель вина обыкновенно надеется, что посовестятся слишком подробно его ощупывать в некоторых местах. Но иногда пролаз ефрейтора добирается и до этих мест и нащупывает вино. Тогда остается одно последнее средство: контрабандист молча и скрытно от конвойного сует в руки ефрейтора затаенную в руке монетку. Случается, что вследствие такого маневра он проходит в острог благополучно и проносит вино. Но иногда маневр не удается, и тогда приходится рассчитаться своим последним капиталом, то есть спиной. Докладывают майору, капитал секут, и секут больно, вино отбирается в казну, и контрабандист принимает все на себя, не выдавая антрепренера, но, заметим себе, не потому, чтоб гнушался доноса, а единственно потому, что донос для него невыгоден: его бы все-таки высекли; все утешение было бы в том, что их бы высекли обоих. Но антрепренер ему уже не нужен, хотя, по обычаю и по предварительному договору, за высеченную спину контрабандист не получает с антрепренера ни копейки. Что же касается вообще доносов, то они обыкновенно процветают. В остроге доносчик не подвергается ни малейшему унижению; негодование к нему даже немыслимо. Его не чуждаются, с ним водят дружбу, так что если б вы стали в остроге доказывать всю гадость доноса, то вас бы совершенно не поняли. Тот арестант из дворян, развратный и подлый, с которым я прервал все сношения, водил дружбу с майорским денщиком Федькой и служил у него шпионом, а тот передавал все услышанное им об арестантах майору. У нас все это знали, и никто никогда даже и не вздумал наказать или хотя бы укорить негодяя.
Но я отклонился в сторону. Разумеется, бывает, что вино проносится и благополучно; тогда антрепренер принимает принесенные кишки, заплатив за них деньги, и начинает рассчитывать. По расчету оказывается, что товар стоит уже ему очень дорого; а потому, для больших барышей, он переливает его еще раз, сызнова разбавляя еще раз водой, чуть не наполовину, и, таким образом приготовившись, ждет покупателя. В первый же праздник, а иногда в будни, покупатель является: это арестант, работавший несколько месяцев, как кордонный вол, и скопивший копейку, чтобы пропить все в заранее определенный для этого день. Этот день еще задолго до своего появления снился бедному труженику и во сне, и в счастливых мечтах за работой и обаянием своим поддерживал его дух на скучном поприще острожной жизни. Наконец заря светлого дня появляется на востоке; деньги скоплены, не отобраны, не украдены, и он их несет целовальнику. Тот подает ему сначала вино, по возможности чистое, то есть всего только два раза разбавленное; но по мере отпивания из бутылки все отпитое немедленно добавляется водой. За чашку вина платится впятеро, вшестеро больше, чем в кабаке. Можно представить себе, сколько нужно выпить таких чашек и сколько заплатить за них денег, чтоб напиться! Но, по отвычке от питья и от предварительного воздержания, арестант хмелеет довольно скоро и обыкновенно продолжает пить до тех пор, пока не пропьет все свои деньги. Тогда идут в ход все обновки: целовальник в то же время и ростовщик. Сперва поступают к нему новозаведенные партикулярные вещи, потом доходит и до старого хлама, а наконец, и до казенных вещей. С пропитием всего, до последней тряпки, пьяница ложится спать и на другой день, проснувшись с неминуемой трескотней в голове, тщетно просит у целовальника хоть глоток вина на похмелье. Грустно переносит он невзгоду, и в тот же день принимается опять за работу, и опять несколько месяцев работает, не разгибая шеи, мечтая о счастливом кутежном дне, безвозвратно канувшем в вечность, и мало-помалу начиная ободряться и поджидать другого такого же дня, который еще далеко, но который все-таки придет же когда-нибудь в свою очередь.
Что же касается целовальника, то, наторговав наконец огромную сумму, несколько десятков рублей, он заготовляет последний раз вино и уже не разбавляет его водой, потому что назначает его для себя; довольно торговать: пора и самому попраздновать! Начинается кутеж, питье, еда, музыка. Средства большие; задобривается даже и ближайшее, низшее, острожное начальство. Кутеж иногда продолжается по нескольку дней. Разумеется, заготовленное вино скоро пропивается; тогда гуляка идет к другим целовальникам, которые уже поджидают его, и пьет до тех пор, пока не пропивает всего до копейки. Как ни оберегают арестанты гуляющего, но иногда он попадается на глаза высшему начальству, майору или караульному офицеру. Его берут в кордегардию, обирают его капиталы, если найдут их на нем, и в заключение секут. Встряхнувшись, он приходит обратно в острог и чрез несколько дней снова принимается за ремесло целовальника. Иные из гуляк, разумеется из богатеньких, мечтают и о прекрасном поле. За большие деньги они пробираются иногда, тайком, вместо работы, куда-нибудь из крепости на форштадт, в сопровождении подкупленного конвойного. Там, в каком-нибудь укромном домике, где-нибудь на самом краю города, задается пир на весь мир и ухлопываются действительно большие суммы. За деньги и арестантом не брезгают; конвойный же подбирается как-нибудь заранее, с знанием дела. Обыкновенно такие конвойные сами — будущие кандидаты в острог. Впрочем, за деньги все можно сделать, и такие путешествия остаются почти всегда в тайне. Надо прибавить, что они весьма редко случаются; на это надо много денег, и любители прекрасного пола прибегают к другим средствам, совершенно безопасным.
Еще с первых дней моего острожного житья один молодой арестант, чрезвычайно хорошенький мальчик, возбудил во мне особенное любопытство. Звали его Сироткин. Был он довольно загадочное существо во многих отношениях. Прежде всего меня поразило его прекрасное лицо; ему было не более двадцати трех лет от роду. Находился он в особом отделении, то есть в бессрочном, следственно, считался одним из самых важных военных преступников. Тихий и кроткий, он говорил мало, редко смеялся. Глаза у него были голубые, черты правильные, личико чистенькое, нежное, волосы светло-русые. Даже полуобритая голова мало его безобразила: такой он был хорошенький мальчик. Ремесла он не имел никакого, но деньги добывал хоть понемногу, но часто. Был он приметно ленив, ходил неряхой. Разве кто другой оденет его хорошо, иногда даже в красную рубашку, и Сироткин, видимо, рад обновке: ходит по казармам, себя показывает. Он не пил, в карты не играл, почти ни с кем не ссорился. Ходит, бывало, за казармами — руки в карманах, смирный, задумчивый, О чем он мог думать, трудно было себе и представить. Окликнешь иногда его, из любопытства, спросишь о чем-нибудь, он тотчас же ответит и даже как-то почтительно, не по-арестантски, но всегда коротко, неразговорчиво; глядит же на вас как десятилетний ребенок. Заведутся у него деньги — он не купит себе чего-нибудь необходимого, не отдаст починить куртку, не заведет новых сапогов, а купит калачика, пряничка и скушает, — точно ему семь лет от роду. «Эх ты, Сироткин! — говорят, бывало, ему арестанты, — сирота ты казанская!» В нерабочее время он обыкновенно скитается по чужим казармам; все почти заняты своим делом, одному ему нечего делать. Скажут ему что-нибудь, почти всегда в насмешку (над ним и его товарищами таки часто посмеивались), — он, не сказав ни слова, поворотится и идет в другую казарму; а иногда, если уж очень просмеют его, покраснеет. Часто я думал: за что это смирное, простодушное существо явилось в острог? Раз я лежал в больнице в арестантской палате. Сироткин был также болен и лежал подле меня; как-то под вечер мы с ним разговорились; он невзначай одушевился и, к слову, рассказал мне, как его отдавали в солдаты, как, провожая его, плакала над ним его мать и как тяжело ему было в рекрутах. Он прибавил, что никак не мог вытерпеть рекрутской жизни: потому что там все были такие сердитые, строгие, а командиры всегда почти были им недовольны…
— Как же кончилось? — спросил я. — За что ж ты сюда-то попал? Да еще в особое отделение… Ах ты, Сироткин, Сироткин!
— Да я-с, Александр Петрович, всего год пробыл в батальоне; а сюда пришел за то, что Григория Петровича, моего ротного командира, убил.
— Слышал я это, Сироткин, да не верю. Ну, кого ты мог убить?
— Так случилось, Александр Петрович. Уж оченно мне тяжело стало.
— Да как же другие-то рекруты живут? Конечно, тяжело сначала, а потом привыкают, и, смотришь, выходит славный солдат. Тебя, должно быть, мать забаловала; пряничками да молочком до восемнадцати лет кормила.
— Матушка-то меня, правда, очень любила-с. Когда я в некруты пошел, она после меня слегла да, слышно и не встала… Горько мне уж по конец по некрутству стало. Командир невзлюбил, за все наказывает, — а и за что-с? Я всем покоряюсь, живу в акурат; винишка не пью, ничем не заимствуюсь; а уж это, Александр Петрович, плохое дело, коли чем заимствуется человек. Все кругом такие жестокосердные, — всплакнуть негде. Бывало, пойдешь куда за угол, да там и поплачешь. Вот и стою я раз в карауле. Уж ночь; поставили меня на часы, на абвахте, у сошек. Ветер: осень была, а темень такая, что хоть глаз раздери. И так тошно, тошно мне стало! Взял я к ноге ружье, штык отомкнул, положил подле; скинул правый сапог, дуло наставил себе в грудь, налег на него и большим пальцем ноги спустил курок. Смотрю — осечка! Я ружье осмотрел, прочистил затравку, пороху нового подсыпал, кремешок пробил и опять к груди приставил. Что же-с? порох вспыхнул, а выстрела опять нет! Что ж это, думаю? Взял я, надел сапог, штык примкнул, молчу и расхаживаю. Тут-то я и положил это дело сделать: хоть куда хошь, только вон из некрутства! Через полчаса едет командир; главным рундом правил. Прямо на меня: «Разве так стоят в карауле?» Я взял ружье на руку, да и всадил в него штык по самое дуло. Четыре тысячи прошел, да и сюда, в особое отделение…
Он не лгал. Да и за что же его прислали бы в особое отделение? Обыкновенные преступления наказываются гораздо легче. Впрочем, только один Сироткин и был из всех своих товарищей такой красавчик. Что же касается других, подобных ему, которых было у нас всех человек до пятнадцати, то даже странно было смотреть на них: только два-три лица были еще сносны; остальные же все такие вислоухие, безобразные, неряхи; иные даже седые. Если позволят обстоятельства, я скажу когда-нибудь о всей этой кучке подробнее. Сироткин же часто был дружен с Газиным, тем самым, по поводу которого я начал эту главу, упомянув, что он пьяный ввалился в кухню и что это спутало мне первоначальные понятия об острожной жизни.
Этот Газин был ужасное существо. Он производил на всех страшное, мучительное впечатление. Мне всегда казалось, что ничего не могло быть свирепее, чудовищнее его. Я видел в Тобольске знаменитого своими злодеяниями разбойника Каменева; видел потом Соколова, подсудимого арестанта, из беглых солдат, страшного убийцу. Но ни один из них не производил на меня такого отвратительного впечатления, как Газин. Мне иногда представлялось, что я вижу перед собой огромного, исполинского паука, с человека величиною. Он был татарин; ужасно силен, сильнее всех в остроге; росту выше среднего, сложения геркулесовского, с безобразной, непропорционально огромной головой; ходил сутуловато, смотрел исподлобья. В остроге носились об нем странные слухи: знали, что он был из военных; но арестанты толковали меж собой, не знаю, правда ли, что он беглый из Нерчинска; в Сибирь сослан был уже не раз, бегал не раз, переменял имя и наконец-то попал в наш острог, в особое отделение. Рассказывали тоже про него, что он любил прежде резать маленьких детей, единственно из удовольствия: заведет ребенка куда-нибудь в удобное место; сначала напугает его, измучает и, уже вполне насладившись ужасом и трепетом бедной маленькой жертвы, зарежет ее тихо, медленно, с наслаждением. Все это, может быть, и выдумывали, вследствие тяжелого впечатления, которое производил собою на всех Газин, но все эти выдумки как-то шли к нему, были к лицу. А между тем в остроге он вел себя, не пьяный, в обыкновенное время, очень благоразумно. Был всегда тих, ни с кем никогда не ссорился и избегал ссор, но как будто от презрения к другим, как будто считая себя выше всех остальных; говорил очень мало и был как-то преднамеренно несообщителен. Все движения его были медленные, спокойные, самоуверенные. По глазам его было видно, что он очень неглуп и чрезвычайно хитер; но что-то высокомерно-насмешливое и жестокое было всегда в лице его и в улыбке. Он торговал вином и был в остроге одним из самых зажиточных целовальников. Но в год раза два ему приходилось напиваться самому пьяным, и вот тут-то высказывалось все зверство его натуры. Хмелея постепенно, он сначала начинал задирать людей насмешками, самыми злыми, рассчитанными и как будто давно заготовленными; наконец, охмелев совершенно, он приходил в страшную ярость, схватывал нож и бросался на людей. Арестанты, зная его ужасную силу, разбегались от него и прятались; он бросался на всякого встречного. Но скоро нашли способ справляться с ним. Человек десять из его казармы бросались вдруг на него все разом и начинали бить. Невозможно представить себе ничего жесточе этого битья: его били в грудь, под сердце, под ложечку, в живот; били много и долго и переставали только тогда, когда он терял все свои чувства и становился как мертвый. Другого бы не решились так бить: так бить — значило убить, но только не Газина. После битья его, совершенно бесчувственного, завертывали в полушубок и относили на нары. «Отлежится, мол!» И действительно, наутро он вставал почти здоровый и молча и угрюмо выходил на работу. И каждый раз, когда Газин напивался пьян, в остроге все уже знали, что день кончится для него непременно побоями. Да и сам он знал это и все-таки напивался. Так шло несколько лет. Наконец, заметили, что и Газин начинает поддаваться. Он стал жаловаться на разные боли, стал заметно хиреть; все чаще и чаще ходил в госпиталь… «Поддался-таки!» — говорили про себя арестанты.
Он вошел в кухню в сопровождении того гаденького полячка со скрипкой, которого обыкновенно нанимали гулявшие для полноты своего увеселения, и остановился посреди кухни, молча и внимательно оглядывая всех присутствующих. Все молчали. Наконец, увидя тогда меня и моего товарища, он злобно и насмешливо посмотрел на нас, самодовольно улыбнулся, что-то как будто сообразил про себя и, сильно покачиваясь, подошел к нашему столу.
— А позвольте спросить, — начал он (он говорил по-русски), — вы из каких доходов изволите здесь чаи распивать?
Я молча переглянулся с моим товарищем, понимая, что всего лучше молчать и не отвечать ему. С первого противоречия он пришел бы в ярость.
— Стало быть, у вас деньги есть? — продолжал он допрашивать. — Стало быть, у вас денег куча, а? А разве вы затем в каторгу пришли, чтоб чаи распивать? Вы чаи распивать пришли? Да говорите же, чтоб вас!..
Но видя, что мы решились молчать и не замечать его, он побагровел и задрожал от бешенства. Подле него, в углу, стояла большая сельница (лоток), в которую складывался весь нарезанный хлеб, приготовляемый для обеда или ужина арестантов. Она была так велика, что в ней помещалось хлеба для половины острога; теперь же стояла пустая. Он схватил ее обеими руками и взмахнул над нами. Еще немного, и он бы раздробил нам головы. Несмотря на то что убийство или намерение убить грозило чрезвычайными неприятностями всему острогу: начались бы розыски, обыски, усиление строгостей, а потому арестанты всеми силами старались не доводить себя до подобных общих крайностей, — несмотря на это, теперь все притихли и выжидали. Ни одного слова в защиту нас! Ни одного крика на Газина! — до такой степени была сильна в них ненависть к нам! Им, видимо, приятно было наше опасное положение… Но дело кончилось благополучно; только что он хотел опустить сельницу, кто-то крикнул из сеней:
— Газин! Вино украли!..
Он грохнул сельницу на пол и как сумасшедший бросился из кухни.
— Ну, бог спас! — говорили меж собой арестанты. И долго потом они говорили это.
Я не мог узнать потом, было ли это известие о краже вина справедливое, или кстати придуманное, нам во спасение.
Вечером, уже в темноте, перед запором казарм, я ходил около паль, и тяжелая грусть пала мне на душу, и никогда после я не испытывал такой грусти во всю мою острожную жизнь. Тяжело переносить первый день заточения, где бы то ни было: в остроге ли, в каземате ли, в каторге ли… Но, помню, более всего занимала меня одна мысль, которая потом неотвязчиво преследовала меня во все время моей жизни в остроге, — мысль отчасти неразрешимая, неразрешимая для меня и теперь: это о неравенстве наказания за одни и те же преступления. Правда, и преступление нельзя сравнять одно с другим, даже приблизительно. Например: и тот и другой убили человека; взвешены все обстоятельства обоих дел; и по тому и по другому делу выходит почти одно наказание. А между тем, посмотрите, какая разница в преступлениях. Один, например, зарезал человека так, за ничто, за луковицу: вышел на дорогу, зарезал мужика проезжего, а у него-то и всего одна луковица. «Что ж, батька! Ты меня посылал на добычу: вон я мужика зарезал и всего-то луковицу нашел». — «Дурак! Луковица — ан копейка! Сто душ — сто луковиц, вот те и рубль!» (острожная легенда). А другой убил, защищая от сладострастного тирана честь невесты, сестры, дочери. Один убил по бродяжничеству, осаждаемый целым полком сыщиков, защищая свою свободу, жизнь, нередко умирая от голодной смерти; а другой режет маленьких детей из удовольствия резать, чувствовать на своих руках их теплую кровь, насладиться их страхом, их последним голубиным трепетом под самым ножом. И что же? И тот и другой поступают в ту же каторгу. Правда, есть вариация в сроках присуждаемых наказаний. Но вариаций этих сравнительно немного; а вариаций в одном и том же роде преступлений — бесчисленное множество. Что характер, то вариация. Но положим, что примирить, сгладить эту разницу невозможно, что это своего рода неразрешимая задача — квадратура круга, положим так! Но если б даже это неравенство и не существовало, — посмотрите на другую разницу, на разницу в самых последних наказаниях… Вот человек, который в каторге чахнет, тает как свечка; и вот другой, который до поступления в каторгу и не знал даже, что есть на свете такая развеселая жизнь, такой приятный клуб разудалых товарищей. Да, приходят в острог и такие. Вот, например, человек образованный, с развитой совестью, с сознанием, сердцем. Одна боль собственного его сердца, прежде всяких наказаний, убьет его своими муками. Он сам себя осудит за свое преступление беспощаднее, безжалостнее самого грозного закона. А вот рядом с ним другой, который даже и не подумает ни разу о совершенном им убийстве, во всю каторгу. Он даже считает себя правым. А бывают и такие, которые нарочно делают преступления, чтоб только попасть в каторгу и тем избавиться от несравненно более каторжной жизни на воле. Там он жил в последней степени унижения, никогда не наедался досыта и работал на своего антрепренера с утра до ночи; а в каторге работа легче, чем дома, хлеба вдоволь, и такого, какого он еще и не видывал; по праздникам говядина, есть подаяние, есть возможность заработать копейку. А общество? Народ продувной, ловкий, всезнающий; и вот он смотрит на своих товарищей с почтительным изумлением; он еще не видал таких; он считает их самым высшим обществом, которое только может быть в свете. Неужели наказание для этих двух одинаково чувствительно? Но, впрочем, что заниматься неразрешимыми вопросами! Бьет барабан, пора по казармам.

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IV. Первые впечатления

Началась последняя поверка. После этой поверки запирались казармы, каждая особым замком, и арестанты оставлялись запертыми вплоть до рассвета.
Поверка производилась унтер-офицером с двумя солдатами. Для этого арестантов выстраивали иногда на дворе, и приходил караульный офицер. Но чаще вся эта церемония происходила домашним образом: поверяли по казармам. Так было и теперь. Поверяющие часто ошибались, обсчитывались, уходили и возвращались снова. Наконец бедные караульные досчитались до желанной цифры и заперли казарму. В ней помещалось человек до тридцати арестантов, сбитых довольно тесно на нарах. Спать было еще рано. Каждый, очевидно, должен был чем-нибудь заняться.
Из начальства в казарме оставался только один инвалид, о котором я уже упоминал прежде. В каждой казарме тоже был старший из арестантов, назначаемый самим плац-майором, разумеется, за хорошее поведение. Очень часто случалось, что и старшие в свою очередь попадались в серьезных шалостях; тогда их секли, немедленно разжаловали в младшие и замещали другими. В нашей казарме старшим оказался Аким Акимыч, который, к удивлению моему, нередко покрикивал на арестантов. Арестанты отвечали ему обыкновенно насмешками. Инвалид был умнее его и ни во что не вмешивался, а если и случалось ему шевелить когда языком, то не более как из приличия, для очистки совести. Он молча сидел на своей койке и тачал сапоги. Арестанты не обращали на него почти никакого внимания.
В этот первый день моей острожной жизни я сделал одно наблюдение и впоследствии убедился, что оно верно. Именно: что все не арестанты, кто бы они ни были, начиная с непосредственно имеющих связь с арестантами, как-то: конвойных, караульных солдат, до всех вообще, имевших хоть какое-нибудь дело с каторжным бытом, — как-то преувеличенно смотрят на арестантов. Точно они каждую минуту в беспокойстве, что арестант нет-нет да и бросится на кого-нибудь из них с ножом. Но что всего замечательнее — сами арестанты сознавали, что их боятся, и это, видимо, придавало им что-то вроде куражу. А между тем самый лучший начальник для арестантов бывает именно тот, который их не боится. Да и вообще, несмотря на кураж, самим арестантам гораздо приятнее, когда к ним имеют доверие. Этим их можно даже привлечь к себе. Случалось в мое острожное время, хотя и чрезвычайно редко, что кто-нибудь из начальства заходил в острог без конвоя. Надо было видеть, как это поражало арестантов, и поражало с хорошей стороны. Такой бесстрашный посетитель всегда возбуждал к себе уважение, и если б даже действительно могло случиться что-нибудь дурное, то при нем бы оно не случилось. Внушаемый арестантами страх повсеместен, где только есть арестанты, и, право, не знаю, отчего он собственно происходит. Некоторое основание он, конечно, имеет, начиная с самого наружного вида арестанта, признанного разбойника; кроме того, всякий, подходящий к каторге, чувствует, что вся эта куча людей собралась здесь не своею охотою и что, несмотря ни на какие меры, живого человека нельзя сделать трупом: он останется с чувствами, с жаждой мщения и жизни, с страстями и с потребностями удовлетворить их. Несмотря на то, я положительно уверен, что бояться арестантов все-таки нечего. Не так легко и не так скоро бросается человек с ножом на другого человека. Одним словом, если и возможна опасность, если она и бывает когда, то, по редкости подобных несчастных случаев, можно прямо заключить, что она ничтожна. Разумеется, я говорю теперь только об арестантах решоных, из которых даже многие рады, что добрались наконец до острога (до того хороша бывает иногда жизнь новая!), а следовательно, расположены жить спокойно и мирно; да, кроме того, и действительно беспокойным из своих сами не дадут много куражиться. Каждый каторжный, как бы он смел и дерзок ни был, боится всего в каторге. Подсудимый же арестант — другое дело. Этот действительно способен броситься на постороннего человека так, ни за что, единственно потому, например, что ему завтра должно выходить к наказанию; а если затеется новое дело, то, стало быть, отдаляется и наказание. Тут есть причина, цель нападения: это — «переменить свою участь» во что бы то ни стало и как можно скорее. Я даже знаю один странный психологической случай в этом роде.
У нас в остроге, в военном разряде, был один арестант, из солдатиков, не лишенный прав состояния, присланный года на два в острог по суду, страшный фанфарон и замечательный трус. Вообще фанфаронство и трусость встречаются в русском солдате чрезвычайно редко. Наш солдат смотрит всегда таким занятым, что если б и хотел, то ему бы некогда было фанфаронить. Но если уж он фанфарон, то почти всегда бездельник и трус. Дутов (фамилия арестанта) отбыл наконец свой коротенький срок и вышел опять в линейный батальон. Но так как все ему подобные, посылаемые в острог для исправления, окончательно в нем балуются, то обыкновенно и случается так, что они, побыв на воле не более двух-трех недель, поступают снова под суд и являются в острог обратно, только уж не на два или на три года, а во «всегдашний» разряд, на пятнадцать или на двадцать лет. Так и случилось. Недели через три по выходе из острога, Дутов украл из-под замка; сверх того, нагрубил и набуянил. Был отдан под суд и приговорен к строгому наказанию. Испугавшись предстоящего наказания донельзя, до последней степени, как самый жалкий трус, он накануне того дня, когда его должны были прогнать сквозь строй, бросился с ножом на вошедшего в арестантскую комнату караульного офицера. Разумеется, он очень хорошо понимал, что таким поступком он чрезвычайно усилит приговор и срок каторжной работы. Но расчет был именно в том, чтоб хоть на несколько дней, хоть на несколько часов отдалить страшную минуту наказания! Он до того был трус, что, бросившись с ножом, он даже не ранил офицера, а сделал все для проформы, для того только, чтоб оказалось новое преступление, за которое бы его опять стали судить.
Минута перед наказанием, конечно, ужасна для приговоренного, и мне в несколько лет пришлось видеть довольно подсудимых накануне рокового для них дня. Обыкновенно я встречался с подсудимыми арестантами в госпитале, в арестантских палатах, когда лежал больной, что случалось довольно часто. Известно всем арестантам во всей России, что самые сострадательные для них люди — доктора. Они никогда не делают между арестантами различия, как невольно делают почти все посторонние, кроме разве одного простого народа. Тот никогда не корит арестанта за его преступление, как бы ужасно оно ни было, и прощает ему все за понесенное им наказание и вообще за несчастье. Недаром же весь народ во всей России называет преступление несчастьем, а преступников несчастными. Это глубоко знаменательное определение. Оно тем более важно, что сделано бессознательно, инстинктивно. Доктора же — истинное прибежище арестантов во многих случаях, особенно для подсудимых, которые содержатся тяжеле решоных… И вот подсудимый, рассчитав вероятный срок ужасного для него дня, уходит часто в госпиталь, желая хоть сколько-нибудь отдалить тяжелую минуту. Когда же он обратно выписывается, почти наверно зная, что роковой срок завтра, то всегда почти бывает в сильном волнении. Иные стараются скрыть свои чувства из самолюбия, но неловкий, напускной кураж не обманывает их товарищей. Все понимают, в чем дело, и молчат про себя из человеколюбия. Я знал одного арестанта, молодого человека, убийцу, из солдат, приговоренного к полному числу палок. Он до того заробел, что накануне наказания решился выпить крышку вина, настояв в нем нюхательного табаку. Кстати: вино всегда является у подсудимого арестанта перед наказанием. Оно проносится еще задолго до срока, добывается за большие деньги, и подсудимый скорее будет полгода отказывать себе в самом необходимом, но скопит нужную сумму на четверть штофа вина, чтоб выпить его за четверть часа до наказания. Между арестантами вообще существует убеждение, что хмельной не так больно чувствует плеть или палки. Но я отвлекаюсь от рассказа. Бедный малый, выпив свою крышку вина, действительно тотчас же сделался болен: с ним началась рвота с кровью, и его отвезли в госпиталь почти бесчувственного. Эта рвота до того расстроила его грудь, что через несколько дней в нем открылись признаки настоящей чахотки, от которой он умер через полгода. Доктора, лечившие его от чахотки, не знали, отчего она произошла.
Но, рассказывая о часто встречающемся малодушии преступников перед наказание, я должен прибавить, что, напротив, некоторые из них изумляют наблюдателя необыкновенным бесстрашием. Я помню несколько примеров отваги, доходившей до какой-то бесчувственности, и примеры эти были не совсем редки. Особенно помню я мою встречу с одним страшным преступником. В один летний день распространился в арестантских палатах слух, что вечером будут наказывать знаменитого разбойника Орлова, из беглых солдат, и после наказания приведут в палаты. Больные арестанты в ожидании Орлова утверждали, что накажут его жестоко. Все были в некотором волнении, и, признаюсь, я тоже ожидал появления знаменитого разбойника с крайним любопытством. Давно уже я слышал о нем чудеса. Это был злодей, каких мало, резавший хладнокровно стариков и детей, — человек с страшной силой воли и с гордым сознанием своей силы. Он повинился во многих убийствах и был приговорен к наказанию палками, сквозь строй. Привели его уже вечером. В палате уже стало темно, и зажгли свечи. Орлов был почти без чувств, страшно бледный, с густыми, всклокоченными, черными как смоль волосами. Спина его вспухла и была кроваво-синего цвета. Всю ночь ухаживали за ним арестанты, переменяли ему воду, переворачивали его с боку на бок, давали лекарство, точно они ухаживали за кровным родным, за каким-нибудь своим благодетелем. На другой же день он очнулся вполне и прошелся раза два по палате! Это меня изумило: он прибыл в госпиталь слишком слабый и измученный. Он прошел зараз целую половину всего предназначенного ему числа палок. Доктор остановил экзекуцию только тогда, когда заметил, что дальнейшее продолжение наказания грозило преступнику неминуемой смертью. Кроме того, Орлов был малого роста и слабого сложения, и к тому же истощен долгим содержанием под судом. Кому случалось встречать когда-нибудь подсудимых арестантов, тот, вероятно, надолго запомнил их изможденные, худые и бледные лица, лихорадочные взгляды. Несмотря на то, Орлов быстро поправлялся. Очевидно, внутренняя, душевная его энергия сильно помогала натуре. Действительно, это был человек не совсем обыкновенный. Из любопытства я познакомился с ним ближе и целую неделю изучал его. Положительно могу сказать, что никогда в жизни я не встречал более сильного, более железного характером человека, как он. Я видел уже раз, в Тобольске, одну знаменитость в таком же роде, одного бывшего атамана разбойников. Тот был дикий зверь вполне, и вы, стоя возле него и еще не зная его имени, уже инстинктом предчувствовали, что подле вас находится страшное существо. Но в том ужасало меня духовное отупение. Плоть до того брала верх над всеми его душевными свойствами, что вы с первого взгляда по лицу его видели, что тут осталась только одна дикая жажда телесных наслаждений, сладострастия, плотоугодия. Я уверен, что Коренев — имя того разбойника — даже упал бы духом и трепетал бы от страха перед наказанием, несмотря на то, что способен был резать даже не поморщившись. Совершенно противоположен ему был Орлов. Это была наяву полная победа над плотью. Видно было, что этот человек мог повелевать собою безгранично, презирал всякие муки и наказания и не боялся ничего на свете. В нем вы видели одну бесконечную энергию, жажду деятельности, жажду мщения, жажду достичь предположенной цели. Между прочим, я поражен был его странным высокомерием. Он на все смотрел как-то до невероятности свысока, но вовсе не усиливаясь подняться на ходули, а так, как-то натурально. Я думаю, не было существа в мире, которое бы могло подействовать на него одним авторитетом. На все он смотрел как-то неожиданно спокойно, как будто не было ничего на свете, что бы могло удивить его. И хотя он вполне понимал, что другие арестанты смотрят на него уважительно, но нисколько не рисовался перед ними. А между тем тщеславие и заносчивость свойственны почти всем арестантам без исключения. Был он очень неглуп и как-то странно откровенен, хотя отнюдь не болтлив. На вопросы мои он прямо отвечал мне, что ждет выздоровления, чтоб поскорей выходить остальное наказание, и что он боялся сначала, перед наказанием, что не перенесет его. «Но теперь, — прибавил он, подмигнув мне глазом, — дело кончено. Выхожу остальное число ударов, и тотчас же отправят с партией в Нерчинск, а я-то с дороги бегу! Непременно бегу! Вот только б скорее спина зажила!» И все эти пять дней он с жадностью ждал, когда можно будет проситься на выписку. В ожидании же он был иногда очень смешлив и весел. Я пробовал с ним заговорить об его похождениях. Он немного хмурился при этих расспросах, но отвечал всегда откровенно. Когда же понял, что я добираюсь до его совести и добиваюсь в нем хоть какого-нибудь раскаяния, то взглянул на меня до того презрительно и высокомерно, как будто я вдруг стал в его глазах каким-то маленьким, глупеньким мальчиком, с которым нельзя и рассуждать, как с большим. Даже что-то вроде жалости ко мне изобразилось в лице его. Через минуту он расхохотался надо мной самым простодушным смехом, без всякой иронии, и, я уверен, оставшись один и вспоминая мои слова, может быть, несколько раз он принимался про себя смеяться. Наконец, он выписался еще с не совсем поджившей спиной; я тоже пошел в этот раз на выписку, и из госпиталя нам случилось возвращаться вместе: мне в острог, а ему в кордегардию подле нашего острога, где он содержался и прежде. Прощаясь, он пожал мне руку, и с его стороны это был знак высокой доверенности. Я думаю, он сделал это потому, что был очень доволен собой и настоящей минутой. В сущности, он не мог не презирать меня и непременно должен был глядеть на меня как на существо покоряющееся, слабое, жалкое и во всех отношениях перед ним низшее. Назавтра же его вывели к вторичному наказанию…
Когда заперли нашу казарму, она вдруг приняла какой-то особенный вид — вид настоящего жилища, домашнего очага. Только теперь я мог видеть арестантов, моих товарищей, вполне как дома. Днем унтер-офицеры, караульные и вообще начальство могут во всякую минуту прибыть в острог, а потому все обитатели острога как-то и держат себя иначе, как будто не вполне успокоившись, как будто поминутно ожидая чего-то, в какой-то тревоге. Но только заперли казарму, все тотчас же спокойно разместились, каждый на своем месте, и почти каждый принялся за какое-нибудь рукоделье. Казарма вдруг осветилась. Каждый держал свою свечу и свой подсвечник, большею частью деревянный. Кто засел тачать сапоги, кто шить какую-нибудь одежу. Мефитический воздух казармы усиливался с часу на час. Кучка гуляк засела в уголку на корточках перед разостланным ковром за карты. Почти в каждой казарме был такой арестант, который держал у себя аршинный худенький коврик, свечку и до невероятности засаленные, жирные карты. Все это вместе называлось: майдан. Содержатель получал плату с играющих, копеек пятнадцать за ночь; тем он и промышлял. Игроки играли обыкновенно в три листа, в горку и проч. Все игры были азартные. Каждый играющий высыпал перед собою кучу медных денег — все, что у него было в кармане, и вставал с корточек, только проигравшись в пух или обыграв товарищей. Игра кончалась поздно ночью, а иногда длилась до рассвета, до самой той минуты, как отворялась казарма. В нашей комнате, так же как и во всех других казармах острога, всегда бывали нищие, байгуши, проигравшиеся и пропившиеся или так просто, от природы, нищие. Я говорю «от природы» и особенно напираю на это выражение. Действительно, везде в народе нашем, при какой бы то ни было обстановке, при каких бы то ни было условиях, всегда есть и будут существовать некоторые странные личности, смирные и нередко очень неленивые, но которым уж так судьбой предназначено на веки вечные оставаться нищими. Они всегда бобыли, они всегда неряхи, они всегда смотрят какими-то забитыми и чем-то удрученными и вечно состоят у кого-нибудь на помычке, у кого-нибудь на посылках, обыкновенно у гуляк или внезапно разбогатевших и возвысившихся. Всякий почин, всякая инициатива — для них горе и тягость. Они как будто и родились с тем условием, чтоб ничего не начинать самим и только прислуживать, жить не своей волей, плясать по чужой дудке; их назначение — исполнять одно чужое. В довершение всего никакие обстоятельства, никакие перевороты не могут их обогатить. Они всегда нищие. Я заметил, что такие личности водятся и не в одном народе, а во всех обществах, сословиях, партиях, журналах и ассоциациях. Так-то случалось и в каждой казарме, в каждом остроге, и только что составлялся майдан, один из таких немедленно являлся прислуживать. Да и вообще ни один майдан не мог обойтись без прислужника. Его нанимали обыкновенно игроки все вообще, на всю ночь, копеек за пять серебром, и главная его обязанность была стоять всю ночь на карауле. Большею частью он мерз часов шесть или семь в темноте, в сенях, на тридцатиградусном морозе, прислушиваясь к каждому стуку, к каждому звону, к каждому шагу на дворе. Плац-майор или караульные являлись иногда в острог довольно поздно ночью, входили тихо и накрывали и играющих, и работающих, и лишние свечки, которые можно было видеть еще со двора. По крайней мере, когда вдруг начинал греметь замок на дверях из сеней на двор, было уже поздно прятаться, тушить свечи и улегаться на нары. Но так как караульному прислужнику после того больно доставалось от майдана, то и случаи таких промахов были чрезвычайно редки. Пять копеек, конечно, смешно ничтожная плата, даже и для острога; но меня всегда поражала в остроге суровость и безжалостность нанимателей, и в этом и во всех других случаях. «Деньги взял, так и служи!» Это был аргумент, не терпевший никаких возражений. За выданный грош наниматель брал все, что мог брать, брал, если возможно, лишнее и еще считал, что он одолжает наемщика. Гуляка, хмельной, бросающий деньги направо и налево без счету, непременно обсчитывал своего прислужника, и это заметил я не в одном остроге, не у одного майдана.
Я сказал уже, что в казарме почти все уселись за какие-нибудь занятия: кроме игроков, было не более пяти человек совершенно праздных; они тотчас же легли спать. Мое место на нарах приходилось у самой двери. С другой стороны нар, голова с головой со мною, помещался Аким Акимыч. Часов до десяти или одиннадцати он работал, клеил какой-то разноцветный китайский фонарик, заказанный ему в городе, за довольно хорошую плату. Фонарики он делал мастерски, работал методически, не отрываясь; когда же кончил работу, то аккуратно прибрался, разостлал свой тюфячок, помолился богу и благонравно улегся на свою постель. Благонравие и порядок он простирал, по-видимому, до самого мелочного педантизма; очевидно, он должен был считать себя чрезвычайно умным человеком, как и вообще все тупые и ограниченные люди. Не понравился он мне с первого же дня, хотя, помню, в этот первый день я много о нем раздумывал и всего более дивился, что такая личность, вместо того чтоб успевать в жизни, очутилась в остроге. Впоследствии мне не раз придется говорить об Акиме Акимыче.
Но опишу вкратце состав всей нашей казармы. В ней приходилось мне жить много лет, и это все были мои будущие сожители и товарищи. Понятно, что я вглядывался в них с жадным любопытством. Слева от моего места на нарах помещалась кучка кавказских горцев, присланных большею частию за грабежи и на разные сроки. Их было: два лезгина, один чеченец и трое дагестанских татар. Чеченец был мрачное и угрюмое существо; почти ни с кем не говорил и постоянно смотрел вокруг себя с ненавистью, исподлобья и с отравленной, злобно-насмешливой улыбкой. Один из лезгинов был уже старик, с длинным, тонким, горбатым носом, отъявленный разбойник с виду. Зато другой, Нурра, произвел на меня с первого же дня самое отрадное, самое милое впечатление. Это был человек еще нестарый, росту невысокого, сложенный, как Геркулес, совершенный блондин с светло-голубыми глазами, курносый, с лицом чухонки и с кривыми ногами от постоянной прежней езды верхом. Все тело его было изрублено, изранено штыками и пулями. На Кавказе он был мирной, но постоянно уезжал потихоньку к немирным горцам и оттуда вместе с ними делал набеги на русских. В каторге его все любили. Он был всегда весел, приветлив ко всем, работал безропотно, спокоен и ясен, хотя часто с негодованием смотрел на гадость и грязь арестантской жизни и возмущался до ярости всяким воровством, мошенничеством, пьянством и вообще всем, что было нечестно; но ссор не затевал и только отворачивался с негодованием. Сам он во все продолжение своей каторги не украл ничего, не сделал ни одного дурного поступка. Был он чрезвычайно богомолен. Молитвы исполнял он свято; в посты перед магометанскими праздниками постился как фанатик и целый ночи выстаивал на молитве. Его все любили и в честность его верили. «Нурра — лев», — говорили арестанты; так за ним и осталось название льва. Он совершенно был уверен, что по окончании определенного срока в каторге его воротят домой на Кавказ, и жил только этой надеждой. Мне кажется, он бы умер, если бы ее лишился. В первый же мой день в остроге я резко заметил его. Нельзя было не заметить его доброго, симпатизирующего лица среди злых, угрюмых и насмешливых лиц остальных каторжных. В первые полчаса, как я пришел в каторгу, он, проходя мимо меня, потрепал по плечу, добродушно смеясь мне в глаза. Я не мог сначала понять, что это означало. Говорил же он по-русски очень плохо. Вскоре после того он опять подошел ко мне и опять, улыбаясь, дружески ударил меня по плечу. Потом опять и опять, и так продолжалось три дня. Это означало с его стороны, как догадался я и узнал потом, что ему жаль меня, что он чувствует, как мне тяжело знакомиться с острогом, хочет показать мне свою дружбу, ободрить меня и уверить в своем покровительстве. Добрый и наивный Нурра!
Дагестанских татар было трое, и все они были родные братья. Два из них уже были пожилые, но третий, Алей, был не более двадцати двух лет, а на вид еще моложе. Его место на нарах было рядом со мною. Его прекрасное, открытое, умное и в то же время добродушно-наивное лицо с первого взгляда привлекло к нему мое сердце, и я так рад был, что судьба послала мне его, а не другого кого-нибудь в соседи. Вся душа его выражалась на его красивом, можно даже сказать — прекрасном лице. Улыбка его была так доверчива, так детски простодушна; большие черные глаза были так мягки, так ласковы, что я всегда чувствовал особое удовольствие, даже облегчение в тоске и в грусти, глядя на него. Я говорю не преувеличивая. На родине старший брат его (старших братьев у него было пять; два других попали в какой-то завод) однажды велел ему взять шашку и садиться на коня, чтобы ехать вместе в какую-то экспедицию. Уважение к старшим в семействах горцев так велико, что мальчик не только не посмел, но даже и не подумал спросить, куда они отправляются? Те же не сочли и за нужное сообщить уме это. Все они ехали на разбой, подстеречь на дороге богатого армянского купца и ограбить его. Так и случилось: они перерезали конвой, зарезали армянина и разграбили его товар. Но дело открылось: их взяли всех шестерых, судили, уличили, наказали и сослали в Сибирь, в каторжные работы. Всю милость, которую сделал суд для Алея, был уменьшенный срок наказания: он сослан был на четыре года. Братья очень любили его, и скорее какою-то отеческою, чем братскою любовью. Он был им утешением в их ссылке, и они, обыкновенно мрачные и угрюмые, всегда улыбались, на него глядя, и когда заговаривали с ним (а говорили они с ним очень мало, как будто все еще считая его за мальчика, с которым нечего говорить о серьезном), то суровые лица их разглаживались, и я угадывал, что они с ним говорят о чем-нибудь шутливом, почти детском, по крайней мере они всегда переглядывались и добродушно усмехались, когда, бывало, выслушают его ответ. Сам же он почти не смел с ними заговаривать: до того заходила его почтительность. Трудно представить себе, как этот мальчик во все время своей каторги мог сохранить в себе такую мягкость сердца, образовать в себе такую строгую честность, такую задушевность, симпатичность, не загрубеть, не развратиться. Это, впрочем, была сильная и стойкая натура, несмотря на всю видимую свою мягкость. Я хорошо узнал его впоследствии. Он был целомудрен, как чистая девочка, и чей-нибудь скверный, цинический, грязный или несправедливый, насильный поступок в остроге зажигал огонь негодования в его прекрасных глазах, которые делались оттого еще прекраснее. Но он избегал ссор и брани, хотя был вообще не из таких, которые бы дали себя обидеть безнаказанно, и умел за себя постоять. Но ссор он ни с кем не имел: его все любили и все ласкали. Сначала со мной он был только вежлив. Мало-помалу я начал с ним разговаривать; в несколько месяцев он выучился прекрасно говорить по-русски, чего братья его не добились во все время своей каторги. Он мне показался чрезвычайно умным мальчиком, чрезвычайно скромным и деликатным и даже много уже рассуждавшим. Вообще скажу заранее: я считаю Алея далеко не обыкновенным существом и вспоминаю о встрече с ним как об одной из лучших встреч в моей жизни. Есть натуры до того прекрасные от природы, до того награжденные богом, что даже одна мысль о том, что они могут когда-нибудь измениться к худшему, вам кажется невозможною. За них вы всегда спокойны. Я и теперь спокоен за Алея. Где-то он теперь?..
Раз, уже довольно долго после моего прибытия в острог, я лежал на нарах и думал о чем-то очень тяжелом. Алей, всегда работящий и трудолюбивый, в этот раз ничем не был занят, хотя еще было рано спать. Но у них в это время был свой мусульманский праздник, и они не работали. Он лежал, заложив руки за голову, и тоже о чем-то думал. Вдруг он спросил меня:
— Что, тебе очень теперь тяжело?
Я оглядел его с любопытством, и мне показался странным этот быстрый прямой вопрос Алея, всегда деликатного, всегда разборчивого, всегда умного сердцем: но, взглянув внимательнее, я увидел в его лице столько тоски, столько муки от воспоминаний, что тотчас же нашел, что ему самому было очень тяжело и именно в эту самую минуту. Я высказал ему мою догадку. Он вздохнул и грустно улыбнулся. Я любил его улыбку, всегда нежную и сердечную. Кроме того, улыбаясь, он выставлял два ряда жемчужных зубов, красоте которых могла бы позавидовать первая красавица в мире.
— Что, Алей, ты, верно, сейчас думал о том, как у вас в Дагестане празднуют этот праздник? Верно, там хорошо?
— Да, — ответил он с восторгом, и глаза его просияли. — А почему ты знаешь, что я думал об этом?
— Еще бы не знать! Что, там лучше, чем здесь?
— О! зачем ты это говоришь…
— Должно быть, теперь какие цветы у вас, какой рай!..
— О-ох, и не говори лучше. — Он был в сильном волнении.
— Послушай, Алей, у тебя была сестра?
— Была, а что тебе?
— Должно быть, она красавица, если на тебя похожа.
— Что на меня! Она такая красавица, что по всему Дагестану нет лучше. Ах какая красавица моя сестра! Ты не видел такую! У меня и мать красавица была.
— А любила тебя мать?
— Ах! Что ты говоришь! Она, верно, умерла теперь с горя по мне. Я любимый был у нее сын. Она меня больше сестры, больше всех любила… Она ко мне сегодня во сне приходила и надо мной плакала.
Он замолчал и в этот вечер уже больше не сказал ни слова. Но с тех пор он искал каждый раз говорить со мной, хотя сам из почтения, которое он неизвестно почему ко мне чувствовал, никогда не заговаривал первый. Зато очень был рад, когда я обращался к нему. Я расспрашивал его про Кавказ, про его прежнюю жизнь. Братья не мешали ему со мной разговаривать, и им даже это было приятно. Они тоже, видя, что я все более и более люблю Алея, стали со мной гораздо ласковее.
Алей помогал мне в работе, услуживал мне чем мог в казармах, и видно было, что ему очень приятно было хоть чем-нибудь облегчить меня и угодить мне, и в этом старании угодить не было ни малейшего унижения или искания какой-нибудь выгоды, а теплое, дружеское чувство, которое он уже и не скрывал ко мне. Между прочим, у него было много способностей механических: он выучился порядочно шить белье, тачал сапоги и, впоследствии выучился, сколько мог, столярному делу. Братья хвалили его и гордились им.
— Послушай, Алей, — сказал я ему однажды, — отчего ты не выучишься читать и писать по-русски? Знаешь ли, как это может тебе пригодиться здесь, в Сибири, впоследствии?
— Очень хочу. Да у кого выучиться?
— Мало ли здесь грамотных! Да хочешь, я тебя выучу?
— Ах, выучи, пожалуйста! — и он даже привстал на нарах и с мольбою сложил руки, смотря на меня.
Мы принялись с следующего же вечера. У меня был русский перевод Нового завета — книга, не запрещенная в остроге. Без азбуки, по одной книге, Алей в несколько недель выучился превосходно читать. Месяца через три он уже совершенно понимал книжный язык. Он учился с жаром, с увлечением.
Однажды мы прочли с ним всю Нагорную проповедь. Я заметил, что некоторые места в ней он проговаривает как будто с особенным чувством.
Я спросил его, нравится ли ему то, что он прочел.
Он быстро взглянул, и краска выступила на его лице.
— Ах, да! — отвечал он, — да, Иса святой пророк, Иса божии слова говорил. Как хорошо!
— Что ж тебе больше всего нравится?
— А где он говорит: прощай, люби, не обижай и врагов люби. Ах, как хорошо он говорит!
Он обернулся к братьям, которые прислушивались к нашему разговору, и с жаром начал им говорить что-то. Они долго и серьезно говорили между собою и утвердительно покачивали головами. Потом с важно-благосклонною, то есть чисто мусульманскою улыбкою (которую я так люблю и именно люблю важность этой улыбки), обратились ко мне и подтвердили, что Иса был божий пророк и что он делал великие чудеса; что он сделал из глины птицу, дунул на нее, и она полетела… и что это и у них в книгах написано. Говоря это, они вполне были уверены, что делают мне великое удовольствие, восхваляя Ису, а Алей был вполне счастлив, что братья его решились и захотели сделать мне это удовольствие.
Письмо у нас пошло тоже чрезвычайно успешно. Алей достал бумаги (и не позволил мне купить ее на мои деньги), перьев, чернил и в каких-нибудь два месяца выучился превосходно писать. Это даже поразило его братьев. Гордость и довольство их не имели пределов. Они не знали, чем возблагодарить меня. На работах, если нам случалось работать вместе, они наперерыв помогали мне и считали это себе за счастье. Я уже не говорю про Алея. Он любил меня, может быть, так же, как и братьев. Никогда не забуду, как он выходил из острога. Он отвел меня за казарму и там бросился мне на шею и заплакал. Никогда прежде он не целовал меня и не плакал. «Ты для меня столько сделал, столько сделал, — говорил он, — что отец мой, мать мне бы столько не сделали: ты меня человеком сделал, бог заплатит тебе, а я тебя никогда не забуду… »
Где-то, где-то теперь мой добрый, милый, милый Алей!..
Кроме черкесов, в казармах наших была еще целая кучка поляков, составлявшая совершенно отдельную семью, почти не сообщавшуюся с прочими арестантами. Я сказал уже, что за свою исключительность, за свою ненависть к каторжным русским они были в свою очередь всеми ненавидимы. Это были натуры измученные, больные; их было человек шесть. Некоторые из них были люди образованные; об них я буду говорить особо и подробно впоследствии. От них же я иногда, в последние годы моей жизни в остроге, доставал кой-какие книги. Первая книга, прочтенная мною, произвела на меня сильное, странное, особенное впечатление. Об этих впечатлениях я когда-нибудь скажу особо. Для меня они слишком любопытны, и я уверен, что многим они будут совершенно непонятны. Не испытав, нельзя судить о некоторых вещах. Скажу одно: что нравственные лишения тяжелее всех мук физических. Простолюдин, идущий в каторгу, приходит в свое общество, даже, может быть, еще в более развитое. Он потерял, конечно, много — родину, семью, все, но среда его остается та же. Человек образованный, подвергающийся по законам одинаковому наказанию с простолюдином, теряет часто несравненно больше его. Он должен задавить в себе все свои потребности, все привычки; перейти в среду для него недостаточную, должен приучиться дышать не тем воздухом… Это — рыба, вытащенная из воды на песок… И часто для всех одинаковое по закону наказание обращается для него в десятеро мучительнейшее. Это истина… даже если б дело касалось одних материальных привычек, которыми надо пожертвовать.
Но поляки составляли особую цельную кучку. Их было шестеро, и они были вместе. Из всех каторжных нашей казармы они любили только одного жида, и может быть единственно потому, что он их забавлял. Нашего жидка, впрочем, любили даже и другие арестанты, хотя решительно все без исключения смеялись над ним. Он был у нас один, и я даже теперь не могу вспоминать о нем без смеху. Каждый раз, когда я глядел на него, мне всегда приходил на память Гоголев жидок Янкель, из «Тараса Бульбы», который, раздевшись, чтоб отправиться на ночь с своей жидовкой в какой-то шкаф, тотчас же стал ужасно похож на цыпленка. Исай Фомич, наш жидок, был как две капли воды похож на общипанного цыпленка. Это был человек уже немолодой, лет около пятидесяти, маленький ростом и слабосильный, хитренький и в то же время решительно глупый. Он был дерзок и заносчив и в то же время ужасно труслив. Весь он был в каких-то морщинках, и на лбу и на щеках его были клейма, положенные ему на эшафоте. Я никак не мог понять, как мог он выдержать шестьдесят плетей. Пришел он по обвинению в убийстве. У него был припрятан рецепт, доставленный ему от доктора его жидками тотчас же после эшафота. По этому рецепту можно было получить такую мазь, от которой недели в две могли сойти все клейма. Употребить эту мазь в остроге он не смел и выжидал своего двенадцатилетнего срока каторги, после которой, выйдя на поселение, непременно намеревался воспользоваться рецептом. «Не то нельзя будет зениться, — сказал он мне однажды, — а я непременно хоцу зениться». Мы с ним были большие друзья. Он всегда был в превосходнейшем расположении духа. В каторге жить ему было легко; он был по ремеслу ювелир, был завален работой из города, в котором не было ювелира, и таким образом избавился от тяжелых работ. Разумеется, он в то же время был ростовщик и снабжал под проценты и залоги всю каторгу деньгами. Он пришел прежде меня, и один из поляков описывал мне подробно его прибытие. Это пресмешная история, которую я расскажу впоследствии; об Исае Фомиче я буду говорить еще не раз.
Остальной люд в нашей казарме состоял из четырех старообрядцев, стариков и начетчиков, между которыми был и старик из Стародубовских слобод; из двух-трех малороссов, мрачных людей, из молоденького каторжного, с тоненьким личиком и с тоненьким носиком, лет двадцати трех, уже убившего восемь душ, из кучки фальшивых монетчиков, из которых один был потешник всей нашей казармы, и, наконец, из нескольких мрачных и угрюмых личностей, обритых и обезображенных, молчаливых и завистливых, с ненавистью смотревших исподлобья кругом себя и намеревавшихся так смотреть, хмуриться, молчать и ненавистничать еще долгие годы, — весь срок своей каторги. Все это только мелькнуло передо мной в этот первый, безотрадный вечер моей новой жизни, — мелькнуло среди дыма и копоти, среди ругательств и невыразимого цинизма, в мефитическом воздухе, при звоне кандалов, среди проклятий и бесстыдного хохота. Я лег на голых нарах, положив в голову свое платье (подушки у меня еще не было), накрылся тулупом, но долго не мог заснуть, хотя и был весь измучен и изломан от всех чудовищных и неожиданных впечатлений этого первого дня. Но новая жизнь моя только еще начиналась. Много еще ожидало меня впереди, о чем я никогда не мыслил, чего и не предугадывал…

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V. Первый месяц

Три дня спустя по прибытии моем в острог мне велено было выходить на работу. Очень памятен мне этот первый день работы, хотя в продолжение его не случилось со мной ничего очень необыкновенного, по крайней мере взяв в соображение все и без того необыкновенное в моем положении. Но это было тоже одно из первых впечатлений, а я еще продолжал ко всему жадно присматриваться. Все эти три первые дня я провел в самых тяжелых ощущениях. «Вот конец моего странствования: я в остроге! — повторял я себе поминутно, — вот пристань моя на многие, долгие годы, мой уголок, в который я вступаю с таким недоверчивым, с таким болезненным ощущением… А кто знает? Может быть, — когда, через много лет, придется оставить его, — еще пожалею о нем!.. » — прибавил я не без примеси того злорадного ощущения, которое доходит иногда до потребности нарочно бередить свою рану, точно желая полюбоваться своей болью, точно в сознании всей великости несчастия есть действительно наслаждение. Мысль со временем пожалеть об этом уголке — меня самого поражала ужасом: я и тогда уже предчувствовал, до какой чудовищной степени приживчив человек. Но это еще было время впереди, а покамест теперь кругом меня все было враждебно и — страшно… хоть не все, но, разумеется, так мне казалось. Это дикое любопытство, с которым оглядывали меня мои новые товарищи-каторжники, усиленная их суровость с новичком из дворян, вдруг появившимся в их корпорации, суровость, иногда доходившая чуть не до ненависти, — все это до того измучило меня, что я сам желал уж поскорее работы, чтоб только поскорее узнать и изведать все мое бедствие разом, чтоб начать жить, как и все они, чтоб войти со всеми поскорее в одну колею. Разумеется, я тогда многого не замечал и не подозревал, что у меня было под самым носом: между враждебным я еще не угадывал отрадного. Впрочем, несколько приветливых, ласковых лиц, которых я встретил даже в эти три дня, покамест сильно меня ободрили. Всех ласковее и приветливее со мной был Аким Акимыч. Между угрюмыми и ненавистливыми лицами остальных каторжных я не мог не заметить тоже несколько добрых и веселых. «Везде есть люди дурные, а между дурными и хорошие, — спешил я подумать себе в утешение, — кто знает? Эти люди, может быть, вовсе не до такой степени хуже тех остальных, которые остались там, за острогом». Я думал это и сам качал головою на свою мысль, а между тем — боже мой! — если б я только знал тогда, до какой степени и эта мысль была правдой!
Вот, например, тут был один человек, которого только через много-много лет я узнал вполне, а между тем он был со мной и постоянно около меня почти во все время моей каторги. Это был арестант Сушилов. Как только заговорил я теперь о каторжниках, которые были не хуже других, то тотчас же невольно вспомнил о нем. Он мне прислуживал. У меня тоже был и другой прислужник. Аким Акимыч еще с самого начала, с первых дней, рекомендовал мне одного из арестантов — Осипа, говоря, что за тридцать копеек в месяц он будет мне стряпать ежедневно особое кушанье, если мне уж так противно казенное и если я имею средства завести свое. Осип был один из четырех поваров, назначаемых арестантами по выбору в наши две кухни, хотя, впрочем, оставлялось вполне и на их волю принять или не принять такой выбор; а приняв, можно было хоть завтра же опять отказаться. Повара уж так и не ходили на работу, и вся должность их состояла в печении хлеба и варке щей. Звали их у нас не поварами, а стряпками (в женском роде), впрочем, не из презрения к ним, тем более что на кухню выбирался народ толковый и по возможности честный, а так, из милой шутки, чем наши повара нисколько не обижались. Осипа почти всегда выбирали, и почти несколько лет сряду он постоянно был стряпкой и отказывался иногда только на время, когда его уж очень забирала тоска, а вместе с тем и охота проносить вино. Он был редкой честности и кротости человек, хотя и пришел за контрабанду. Это был тот самый контрабандист, высокий, здоровый малый, о котором уже я упоминал; трус до всего, особенно до розог, смирный, безответный, ласковый со всеми, ни с кем никогда не поссорившийся, но который не мог не проносить вина, несмотря на всю свою трусость, по страсти к контрабанде. Он вместе с другими поварами торговал тоже вином, хотя, конечно, не в таком размере, как, например, Газин, потому что не имел смелости на многое рискнуть. С этим Осипом я всегда жил очень ладно. Что же касается до средств иметь свое кушанье, то их надо было слишком немного. Я не ошибусь, если скажу, что в месяц у меня выходило на мое прокормление всего рубль серебром, разумеется, кроме хлеба, который был казенный, и иногда щей, если уж я был очень голоден, несмотря на мое к ним отвращение, которое, впрочем, почти совсем прошло впоследствии. Обыкновенно я покупал кусок говядины, по фунту на день. А зимой говядина у нас стоила грош. За говядиной ходил на базар кто-нибудь из инвалидов, которых у нас было по одному в каждой казарме, для надсмотра за порядком, и которые сами, добровольно, взяли себе в обязанность ежедневно ходить на базар за покупками для арестантов и не брали за это почти никакой платы, так разве пустяки какие-нибудь. Делали они это для собственного спокойствия, иначе им невозможно бы было в остроге ужиться. Таким образом, они проносили табак, кирпичный чай, говядину, калачи и проч. и проч., кроме только разве одного вина. Об вине их не просили, хотя иногда и потчевали. Осип стряпал мне несколько лет сряду все один и тот же кусок зажаренной говядины. Уж как он был зажарен — это другой вопрос, да не в том было и дело. Замечательно, что с Осипом я в несколько лет почти не сказал двух слов. Много раз начинал разговаривать с ним, но он как-то был неспособен поддерживать разговор: улыбнется, бывало, или ответит да или нет, да и только. Даже странно было смотреть на этого Геркулеса семи лет от роду.
Но, кроме Осипа, из людей, мне помогавших, был и Сушилов. Я не призывал его и не искал его. Он как-то сам нашел меня и прикомандировался ко мне; даже не помню, когда и как это сделалось. Он стал на меня стирать. За казармами для этого нарочно была устроена большая помойная яма. Над этой-то ямой, в казенных корытах, и мылось арестантское белье. Кроме того, Сушилов сам изобретал тысячи различных обязанностей, чтоб мне угодить: наставлял мой чайник, бегал по разным поручениям, отыскивал что-нибудь для меня, носил мою куртку в починку, смазывал мне сапоги раза четыре в месяц; все это делал усердно, суетливо, как будто бог знает какие на нем лежали обязанности, — одним словом, совершенно связал свою судьбу с моею и взял все мои дела на себя. Он никогда не говорил, например: «У вас столько рубах, у вас куртка разорвана» и проч., а всегда: «У нас теперь столько-то рубах, у нас куртка разорвана». Он так и смотрел мне в глаза и, кажется, принял это за главное назначение всей своей жизни. Ремесла, или, как говорят арестанты, рукомесла, у него не было никакого, и, кажется, только от меня он и добывал копейку. Я платил ему сколько мог, то есть грошами, и он всегда безответно оставался доволен. Он не мог не служить кому-нибудь и, казалось, выбрал меня особенно потому, что я был обходительнее других и честнее на расплату. Был он из тех, которые никогда не могли разбогатеть и поправиться и которые у нас брались сторожить майданы, простаивая по целям ночам в сенях на морозе, прислушиваясь к каждому звуку на дворе на случай плац-майора, и брали за это по пяти копеек серебром чуть не за всю ночь, а в случае просмотра теряли все и отвечали спиной. Я уж об них говорил. Характеристика этих людей — уничтожать свою личность всегда, везде и чуть не перед всеми, а в общих делах разыгрывать даже не второстепенную, а третьестепенную роль. Все это у них уж так по природе. Сушилов был очень жалкий малый, вполне безответный и приниженный, даже забитый, хотя его никто у нас не бил, а так уж, от природы забитый. Мне его всегда было отчего-то жаль. Я даже и взглянуть на него не мог без этого чувства; а почему жаль — я бы сам не мог ответить. Разговаривать с ним я тоже не мог; он тоже разговаривать не умел, и видно, что ему это было в большой труд, и он только тогда оживлялся, когда, чтоб кончить разговор, дашь ему что-нибудь сделать, попросишь его сходить, сбегать куда-нибудь. Я даже, наконец, уверился, что доставляю ему этим удовольствие. Он был не высок и не мал ростом, не хорош и не дурен, не глуп и не умен, не молод и не стар, немножко рябоват, отчасти белокур. Слишком определительного об нем никогда ничего нельзя было сказать. Одно только: он, как мне кажется и сколько я мог догадаться, принадлежал к тому же товариществу, как и Сироткин, и принадлежал единственно по своей забитости и безответности. Над ним иногда посмеивались арестанты, главное, за то, что он сменялся дорогою, идя в Сибирь, и сменился за красную рубашку и за рубль серебром. Вот за эту-то ничтожную цену, за которую он себя продал, над смеялись арестанты. Смениться — значит перемениться с кем-нибудь именем, а следовательно, и участью. Как ни чуден кажется этот факт, а он справедлив, и в мое время он еще существовал между препровождающимися в Сибирь арестантами в полной силе, освященный преданиями и определенный известными формами. Сначала я никак не мог этому поверить, хотя и пришлось наконец поверить очевидности.
Это вот каким образом делается. Препровождается, например, в Сибирь партия арестантов. Идут всякие: и в каторгу, и в завод, и на поселение; идут вместе. Где-нибудь дорогою, ну хоть в Пермской губернии, кто-нибудь из ссыльных пожелает сменяться с другим. Например, какой-нибудь Михайлов, убийца или по другому капитальному преступлению, находит идти на многие годы в каторгу для себя невыгодным. Положим, он малый хитрый, тертый, дело знает; вот он и высматривает кого-нибудь из той же партии попростее, позабитее, побезответнее и которому определенно наказание небольшое сравнительно: или в завод на малый годы, или на поселенье, или даже в каторгу, только поменьше сроком. Наконец находит Сушилова. Сушилов из дворовых людей и сослан просто на поселение. Идет он уже тысячи полторы верст, разумеется без копейки денег, потому что у Сушилова никогда не может быть ни копейки, — идет изнуренный, усталый, на одном казенном продовольстве, без сладкого куска хоть мимоходом, в одной казенной одежде, всем прислуживая за жалкие медные гроши. Михайлов заговаривает с Сушиловым, сходится, даже дружится и, наконец, на каком-нибудь этапе поит его вином. Наконец, предлагает ему: не хочет ли он смениться? Я, дескать, Михайлов, вот так и так, иду в каторгу не каторгу, а в какое-то «особое отделение». Оно хоть и каторга, но особая, получше, стало быть. Об особом отделении, во время существования его, даже из начальства-то не все знали, хоть бы, например, и в Петербурге. Это был такой отдельный и особый уголок, в одном из уголков Сибири, и такой немноголюдный (при мне было в нем до семидесяти человек), что трудно было и на след его напасть. Я встречал потом людей, служивших и знающих о Сибири, которые от меня только в первый раз услыхали о существовании «особого отделения». В Своде законов сказано об нем всего строк шесть: «Учреждается при таком-то остроге Особое отделение, для самых важных преступников, впредь до открытия в Сибири самых тяжких каторжных работ». Даже сами арестанты этого «отделения» не знали: что оно, навечно или на срок? Сроку не было положено, сказано — впредь до открытия самых тяжких работ, и только; стало быть, «вдоль по каторге». Немудрено, что ни Сушилов, да и никто из партии этого не знал, не исключая и самого сосланного Михайлова, который разве только имел понятие об особом отделении, судя по своему преступлению, слишком тяжкому и за которое уже он прошел тысячи три или четыре. Следовательно, не пошлют же его в хорошее место. Сушилов же шел на поселение; чего же лучше? «Не хочешь ли смениться?» Сушилов под хмельком, душа простая, полон благодарности к обласкавшему его Михайлову, и потому не решается отказать. К тому же он слышал уже в партии, что меняться можно, что другие же меняются, следовательно, необыкновенного и неслыханного тут нет ничего. Соглашаются. Бессовестный Михайлов, пользуясь необыкновенною простотою Сушилова, покупает у него имя за красную рубашку и за рубль серебром, которые тут же и дает ему при свидетелях. Назавтра Сушилов уже не пьян, но его поят опять, ну, да и плохо отказываться: полученный рубль серебром уже пропит, красная рубашка немного спустя тоже. Не хочешь, так деньги отдай. А где взять целый рубль серебром Сушилову? А не отдаст, так артель заставит отдать: за этим смотрят в артели строго. К тому же если дал обещание, то исполни, — и на этом артель настоит. Иначе сгрызут. Забьют, пожалуй, или просто убьют, по крайней мере застращают.
В самом деле, допусти артель хоть один раз в таком деле поблажку, то и обыкновение смены именами кончится. Коли можно будет отказываться от обещания и нарушать сделанный торг, уже взявши деньги, — кто же будет его потом исполнять? Одним словом — тут артельное, общее дело, а потому и партия к этому делу очень строга. Наконец Сушилов видит, что уже не отмолишься, и решается вполне согласиться. Объявляется всей партии; ну, там кого еще следует тоже дарят и поят, если надо. Тем, разумеется, все равно: Михайлов или Сушилов пойдут к черту на рога, ну, а вино-то выпито; угостили, — следовательно, и с их стороны молчок. На первом же этапе делают, например, перекличку; доходит до Михайлова: «Михайлов! » Сушилов откликается : я! «Сушилов!» Михайлов кричит: я — и пошли дальше. Никто и не говорит уж больше об этом. В Тобольске ссыльных рассортировывают. «Михайлова» на поселение, а «Сушилова» под усиленным конвоем препровождают в особое отделение. Далее никакой уже протест невозможен; да и чем в самом деле доказать? На сколько лет затянется такое дело? Что за него еще будет? Где, наконец, свидетели? Отрекутся, если б и были. Так и останется в результате, что Сушилов за рубль серебром да за красную рубаху в «особое отделение» пришел.
Арестанты смеялись над Сушиловым — не за то, что он сменился (хотя к сменившимся на более тяжелую работу с легкой вообще питают презрение, как ко всяким попавшимся впросак дуракам), а за то, что он взял только красную рубаху и рубль серебром: слишком уж ничтожная плата. Обыкновенно меняются за большие суммы, опять-таки судя относительно. Берут даже и по нескольку десятков рублей. Но Сушилов был так безответен, безличен и для всех ничтожен, что над ним и смеяться-то как-то не приходилось.
Долго мы жили с Сушиловым, уже несколько лет. Мало-помалу он привязался ко мне чрезвычайно; я не мог этого не заметить, так что и я очень привык к нему. Но однажды — никогда не могу простить себе этого — он чего-то по моей просьбе не выполнил, а между тем только что взял у меня денег, и я имел жестокость сказать ему: «Вот, Сушилов, деньги-то вы берете, а дело-то не делаете». Сушилов смолчал, сбегал по моему делу, но что-то вдруг загрустил. Прошло дня два. Я думал: не может быть, чтоб он это от моих слов. Я знал, что один арестант, Антон Васильев, настоятельно требовал с него какой-то грошовый долг. Верно, денег нет, а он боится спросить у меня. На третий день я и говорю ему: «Сушилов, вы, кажется, у меня хотели денег спросить, для Антона Васильева? Нате». Я сидел тогда на нарах; Сушилов стоял передо мной. Он был, кажется, очень поражен, что я сам ему предложил денег, сам вспомнил о его затруднительном положении, тем более что в последнее время, по его мнению, уж слишком много у меня забрал, так что и надеяться не смел, что я еще дам ему. Он посмотрел на деньги, потом на меня, вдруг отвернулся и вышел. Все это меня очень поразило. Я пошел за ним и нашел его за казармами. Он стоял у острожного частокола, лицом к забору, прижав к нему голову и облокотясь на него рукой. «Сушилов, что с вами?» — спросил я его. Он не смотрел на меня, и я, к чрезвычайному удивлению, заметил, что он готов заплакать: «Вы, Александр Петрович… думаете, — начал он прерывающимся голосом и стараясь смотреть в сторону, — что я вам… за деньги… а я… я… ээх!» Тут он оборотился опять к частоколу, так что даже стукнулся об него лбом, — и как зарыдает!.. Первый раз я видел в каторге человека плачущего. Насилу я утешил его, и хоть он с тех пор, если возможно это, еще усерднее начал служить мне и «наблюдать меня», но по некоторым, почти неуловимым признакам я заметил, что его сердце никогда не могло простить мне попрек мой. А между тем другие смеялись же над ним, шпыняли его при всяком удобном случае, ругали его иногда крепко, — а он жил же с ними ладно и дружелюбно и никогда не обижался. Да, очень трудно бывает распознать человека, даже и после долгих лет знакомства!
Вот почему с первого взгляда каторга и не могла мне представиться в том настоящем виде, как представилась впоследствии. Вот почему я сказал, что если и смотрел на все с таким жадным, усиленным вниманием, то все-таки не мог разглядеть много такого, что у меня было под самым носом. Естественно, меня поражали сначала явления крупные, резко выдающиеся, но и те, может быть, принимались мною неправильно и только оставляли в душе моей одно тяжелое, безнадежно грустное впечатление. Очень много способствовала тому встреча моя с А-вым, тоже арестантом, прибывшим незадолго до меня в острог и поразившим меня особенно мучительным впечатлением в первые дни моего прибытия в каторгу. Я, впрочем, узнал еще до прибытия в острог, что встречусь там с А-вым. Он отравил мне это первое тяжелое время и усилил мои душевные муки. Не могу умолчать о нем.
Это был самый отвратительный пример, до чего может опуститься и исподлиться человек и до какой степени может убить в себе всякое нравственное чувство, без труда и без раскаяния. А-в был молодой человек, из дворян, о котором уже я отчасти упоминал, говоря, что он переносил нашему плац-майору все, что делается в остроге, и был дружен с денщиком Федькой. Вот краткая его история: не докончив нигде курса и рассорившись в Москве с родными, испугавшимися развратного его поведения, он прибыл в Петербург и, чтоб добыть денег, решился на один подлый донос, то есть решился продать кровь десяти человек для немедленного удовлетворения своей неутолимой жажды к самым грубым и развратным наслаждениям, до которых он, соблазненный Петербургом, его кондитерскими и Мещанскими, сделался падок до такой степени, что, будучи человеком неглупым, рискнул на безумное и бессмысленное дело. Его скоро обличили; в донос свой он впутал невинных людей, других обманул, и за это его сослали в Сибирь, в наш острог, на десять лет. Он еще был очень молод, жизнь для него только что начиналась. Казалось бы, такая страшная перемена в его судьбе должна была поразить, вызвать его природу на какой-нибудь отпор, на какой-нибудь перелом. Но он без малейшего смущения принял новую судьбу свою, без малейшего даже отвращения, не возмутился перед ней нравственно, не испугался в ней ничего, кроме разве необходимости работать и расстаться с кондитерскими и с тремя Мещанскими. Ему даже показалось, что звание каторжного только еще развязало ему руки на еще большие подлости и пакости. «Каторжник, так уж каторжник и есть; коли каторжник, стало быть, уж можно подличать, и не стыдно». Буквально, это было его мнение. Я вспоминаю об этом гадком существе как об феномене. Я несколько лет прожил среди убийц, развратников и отъявленных злодеев, но положительно говорю, никогда еще в жизни я не встречал такого полного нравственного падения, такого решительного разврата и такой наглой низости, как в А-ве. У нас был отцеубийца, из дворян; я уже упоминал о нем; но я убедился по многим чертам и фактам, что даже и тот был несравненно благороднее и человечнее А-ва. На мои глаза, во все время моей острожной жизни, А-в стал и был каким-то куском мяса, с зубами и с желудком и с неутолимой жаждой наигрубейших, самых зверских телесных наслаждений, а за удовлетворение самого малейшего и прихотливейшего из этих наслаждений он способен был хладнокровнейшим образом убить, зарезать, словом, на все, лишь бы спрятаны были концы в воду. Я ничего не преувеличиваю; я узнал хорошо А-ва. Это был пример, до чего могла дойти одна телесная сторона человека, не сдержанная внутренно никакой нормой, никакой законностью. И как отвратительно мне было смотреть на его вечную насмешливую улыбку. Это было чудовище, нравственный Квазимодо. Прибавьте к тому, что он был хитер и умен, красив собой, несколько даже образован, имел способности. Нет, лучше пожар, лучше мор, чем такой человек в обществе! Я сказал уже, что в остроге все так исподлилось, что шпионство и доносы процветали и арестанты нисколько не сердились за это. Напротив, с А-м все они были очень дружны и обращались с ним несравненно дружелюбнее, чем с нами. Милости же к нему нашего пьяного майора придавали ему в их глазах значение и вес. Между прочим, он уверял майора, что он может снимать портреты (арестантов он уверял, что был гвардии поручиком), и тот потребовал, чтоб его высылали на работу к нему на дом, для того, разумеется, чтоб рисовать майорский портрет. Тут-то он и сошелся с денщиком Федькой, имевшим чрезвычайное влияние на своего барина, а следственно, на всех и на все в остроге. А-в шпионил на нас по требованию майора же, а тот, хмельной, когда бил его по щекам, то его же ругал шпионом и доносчиком. Случалось, и очень часто, что сейчас же после побоев майор садился на стул и приказывал А-ву продолжать портрет. Наш майор, кажется, действительно верил, что А-в был замечательный художник, чуть не Брюллов, о котором и он слышал, но все-таки считал себя вправе лупить его по щекам, потому, дескать, что теперь ты хоть и тот же художник, но каторжный, и хоть будь ты раз-Брюллов, а я все-таки твой начальник, а стало быть, что захочу, то с тобою и сделаю. Между прочим, он заставлял А-ва снимать ему сапоги и выносить из спальни разные вазы, и все-таки долго не мог отказаться от мысли, что А-в великий художник. Портрет тянулся бесконечно, почти год. Наконец, майор догадался, что его надувают, и, убедившись вполне, что портрет не оканчивается, а, напротив, с каждым днем все более и более становится на него непохожим, рассердился, исколотил художника и сослал его за наказание в острог, на черную работу. А-в, видимо, жалел об этом, и тяжело ему было отказаться от праздных дней, от подачек с майорского стола, от друга Федьки и от всех наслаждений, которые они вдвоем изобретали себе у майора на кухне. По крайней мере майор с удалением А-ва перестал преследовать М., арестанта, на которого А-в беспрерывно ему наговаривал, и вот за что: М. во время прибытия А-ва в острог был один. Он очень тосковал; не имел ничего общего с прочими арестантами, глядел на них с ужасом и омерзением, не замечал и проглядел в них все, что могло бы подействовать на него примирительно, и не сходился с ними. Те платили ему тою же ненавистью. Вообще положение людей, подобных М., в остроге ужасно. Причина, по которой А-в попал в острог, была М. неизвестна. Напротив, А-в, догадавшись, с кем имеет дело, тотчас же уверил его, что он сослан совершенно за противоположное доносу, почти за то же, за что сослан был и М. М. страшно обрадовался товарищу, другу. Он ходил за ним, утешал его в первые дни каторги, предполагая, что он должен был очень страдать, отдал ему последние свои деньги, кормил его, поделился с ним необходимейшими вещами. Но А-в тотчас же возненавидел его именно за то, что тот был благороден, за то, что с таким ужасом смотрел на всякую низость, за то именно, что был совершенно не похож на него, и все, что М., в прежних разговорах, передал ему об остроге и о майоре, все это А-в поспешил при первом случае донести майору. Майор страшно возненавидел за это и угнетал М., и если б не влияние коменданта, он довел бы его до беды. А-в же не только не смущался, когда потом М. узнал про его низость, но даже любил встречаться с ним и с насмешкой смотреть на него. Это, видимо, доставляло ему наслаждение. Мне несколько раз указывал на это сам М. Эта подлая тварь потом бежала с одним арестантом и с конвойным, но об этом побеге я скажу после. Он очень сначала и ко мне подлизывался, думал, что я не слыхал о его истории. Повторяю, он отравил мне первые дни моей каторги еще большей тоской. Я ужаснулся той страшной подлости и низости, в которую меня ввергнули, среди которой я очутился. Я подумал, что здесь и все так же подло и низко. Но я ошибался: я судил обо всех по А-ву.
В эти три дня я в тоске слонялся по острогу, лежал на своих нарах, отдал шить надежному арестанту, указанному мне Аким Акимычем, из выданного мне казенного холста рубашки, разумеется за плату (по скольку-то грошей с рубашки), завел себе, по настоятельному совету Аким Акимыча, складной тюфячок (из войлока, обшитого холстом), чрезвычайно тоненький, как блин, и подушку, набитую шерстью, страшно жесткую с непривычки. Аким Акимыч сильно хлопотал об устройстве мне всех этих вещей и сам в нем участвовал, собственноручно сшил мне одеяло из лоскутков старого казенного сукна, собранного из выносившихся панталон и курток, купленных мною у других арестантов. Казенные вещи, которым выходил срок, оставлялись в собственность арестанта; они тотчас же продавались тут же в остроге, и как бы не была заношена вещь, все-таки имела надежду сойти с рук за какую-нибудь цену. Всему этому я сначала очень удивлялся. Вообще это было время моего первого столкновения с народом. Я сам вдруг сделался таким же простонародьем, таким же каторжным, как и они. Их привычки, понятия, мнения, обыкновения стали как будто тоже моими, по крайней мере по форме, по закону, хотя я и не разделял их в сущности. Я был удивлен и смущен, точно и не подозревал прежде ничего этого и не слыхал ни о чем, хотя и знал и слышал. Но действительность производит совсем другое впечатление, чем знание и слухи. Мог ли я, например, хоть когда-нибудь прежде подозревать, что такие вещи, такие старые обноски могут считаться тоже вещами? А вот сшил же себе из этих обносков одеяло! Трудно было и представить себе, какого сорта было сукно, определенное на арестантское платье. С виду оно как будто и в самом деле походило на сукно, толстое, солдатское; но, чуть-чуть поношенное, оно обращалось в какой-то бредень и раздиралось возмутительно. Впрочем, суконное платье давалось на годичный срок, но и с этим сроком трудно было справиться. Арестант работает, носит на себе тяжести; платье обтирается и обдирается скоро. Тулупы же выдавались на три года и обыкновенно служили в продолжение всего этого срока и одеждой, и одеялами, и подстилками. Но тулупы крепки, хотя и не редкость было на ком-нибудь видеть к концу третьего года, то есть срока выноски, тулуп, заплатанный простою холстиной. Несмотря на то, даже очень выношенные, по окончании определенного им срока, продавались копеек за сорок серебром. Некоторые же, получше сохранившиеся, продавались за шесть или даже за семь гривен серебром, а в каторге это были большие деньги.
Деньги же — я уже говорил об этом — имели в остроге страшное значение, могущество. Положительно можно сказать, что арестант, имевший хоть какие-нибудь деньги в каторге, в десять раз меньше страдал, чем совсем не имевший их, хотя последний обеспечен тоже всем казенным, и к чему бы, кажется, иметь ему деньги? — как рассуждало наше начальство. Опять-таки, повторяю, что, если б арестанты лишены были всякой возможности иметь свои деньги, они или сходили бы с ума, или мерли бы, как мухи (несмотря на то, что были во всем обеспечены), или, наконец, пустились бы в неслыханные злодейства, — одни от тоски, другие — чтоб поскорее быть как-нибудь казненными и уничтоженными или так как-нибудь «переменить участь» (техническое выражение). Если же арестант, добыв почти кровавым потом свою копейку или решась для приобретения ее на необыкновенные хитрости, сопряженные часто с воровством и мошенничеством, в то же время так безрассудно, с таким ребяческим бессмыслием тратит их, то это вовсе не доказывает, что он их не ценит, хотя бы и казалось так с первого взгляда. К деньгам арестант жаден до судорог, до омрачения рассудка, и если действительно бросает их, как щепки, когда кутит, то бросает за то, что считает еще одной степенью выше денег. Что же выше денег для арестанта? Свобода или хоть какая-нибудь мечта о свободе. А арестанты большие мечтатели. Об этом я кой-что скажу после, но, к слову пришлось: поверят ли, что я видал сосланных на двадцатилетний срок, которые мне самому говорили, очень спокойно, такие, например, фразы: «А вот подожди, даст бог, кончу срок, и тогда… » Весь смысл слова «арестант» означает человека без воли; а, тратя деньги, он поступает уже по своей воле. Несмотря ни на какие клейма, кандалы и ненавистные пали острога, заслоняющие ему божий мир и огораживающие его как зверя в клетке, он может достать вина, то есть страшно запрещенное наслаждение, попользоваться клубничкой, даже иногда (хоть и не всегда) подкупить своих ближайших начальников, инвалидов и даже унтер-офицера, которые сквозь пальцы будут смотреть на то, что он нарушает закон и дисциплину; даже может, сверх торгу, еще покуражиться над ними, а покуражиться арестант ужасно любит, то есть представиться пред товарищами и уверить даже себя хоть на время, что у него воли и власти несравненно больше, чем кажется, — одним словом, может накутить, набуянить, разобидеть кого-нибудь в прах и доказать ему, что он все это может, что все это в «наших руках», то есть уверить себя в том, о чем бедняку и помыслить невозможно. Кстати: вот отчего, может быть, в арестантах, даже в трезвом виде, замечается всеобщая наклонность к куражу, к хвастовству, к комическому и наивнейшему возвеличению собственной личности, хотя бы призрачному. Наконец, во всем этом кутеже есть свой риск, — значит, все это имеет хоть какой-нибудь призрак жизни, хоть отдаленный призрак свободы. А чего не отдашь за свободу? Какой миллионщик, если б ему сдавили горло петлей, не отдал бы всех своих миллионов за один глоток воздуха?
Удивляются иногда начальники, что вот какой-нибудь арестант жил себе несколько лет так смирно, примерно, даже десяточным его сделали за похвальное поведение, и вдруг решительно ни с того и с сего — точно бес в него влез — зашалил, накутил, набуянил, а иногда даже просто на уголовное преступление рискнул: или на явную непочтительность перед высшим начальством, или убил кого-нибудь, или изнасиловал и проч. Смотрят на него и удивляются. А между тем, может быть, вся-то причина этого внезапного взрыва в том человеке, от которого всего менее можно было ожидать его, — это тоскливое, судорожное проявление личности, инстинктивная тоска по самом себе, желание заявить себя, свою приниженную личность, вдруг появляющееся и доходящее до злобы, до бешенства, до омрачения рассудка, до припадка, до судорог. Так, может быть, заживо схороненный в гробу и проснувшийся в нем, колотит в свою крышу и силится сбросить ее, хотя, разумеется, рассудок мог бы убедить его, что все его усилия останутся тщетными. Но в том-то и дело, что тут уж не до рассудка: тут судороги. Возьмем еще в соображение, что почти всякое самовольное проявление личности в арестанте считается преступлением; а в таком случае, ему, естественно, все равно, что большое, что малое преступление. Кутить — так уж кутить, рискнуть — так уж рискнуть на все, даже хоть на убийство. И только ведь стоит начать: опьянеет потом человек, даже не удержишь! А потом всячески бы лучше не доводить до этого. Всем было бы спокойнее.
Да; но как это сделать?

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VI. Первый месяц

При вступлении в острог у меня было несколько денег; в руках с собой было немного, из опасения, чтоб не отобрали, но на всякий случай было спрятано, то есть заклеено, в переплете Евангелия, которое можно было пронести в острог, несколько рублей. Эту книгу, с заклеенными в ней деньгами, подарили мне еще в Тобольске те, которые тоже страдали в ссылке и считали время ее уже десятилетиями и которые во всяком несчастном уже давно привыкли видеть брата. Есть в Сибири, и почти всегда не переводится, несколько лиц, которые, кажется, назначением жизни своей поставляют себе братский уход за «несчастными», сострадание и соболезнование о них, точно о родных детях, совершенно бескорыстное, святое. Не могу не припомнить здесь вкратце об одной встрече. В городе, в котором находился наш острог, жила одна дама, Настасья Ивановна, вдова. Разумеется, никто из нас, в бытность в остроге, не мог познакомиться с ней лично. Казалось, назначением жизни своей она избрала помощь ссыльным, но более всех заботилась о нас. Было ли в семействе у ней какое-нибудь подобное же несчастье, или кто-нибудь из особенно дорогих и близких ее сердцу людей пострадал по такому же преступлению, но только она как будто за особое счастье почитала сделать для нас все, что только могла. Многого она, конечно, не могла: она была очень бедна. Но мы, сидя в остроге, чувствовали, что там, за острогом, есть у нас преданнейший друг. Между прочим, она нам часто сообщала известия, в которых мы очень нуждались. Выйдя из острога и отправляясь в другой город, я успел побывать у ней и познакомиться с нею лично. Она жила где-то в форштадте, у одного из своих близких родственников. Была она не стара и не молода, не хороша и не дурна; даже нельзя было узнать, умна ли она, образованна ли? Замечалась только в ней, на каждом шагу, одна бесконечная доброта, непреодолимое желание угодить, облегчить, сделать для вас непременно что-нибудь приятное. Все это так и виднелось в ее тихих, добрых взглядах. Я провел вместе с другими из острожных моих товарищей у ней почти целый вечер. Она так и глядела нам в глаза, смеялась, когда мы смеялись, спешила соглашаться со всем, что бы мы ни сказали; суетилась угостить нас хоть чем-нибудь, чем только могла. Подан был чай, закуска, какие-то сласти, и если б у ней были тысячи, она бы, кажется, им обрадовалась только потому, что могла бы лучше нам угодить да облегчить наших товарищей, оставшихся в остроге. Прощаясь, она вынесла нам по сигарочнице на память. Эти сигарочницы она склеила для нас сама из картона (уж бог знает как они были склеены), оклеила их цветочной бумажкой, точно такою же, в какую переплетаются краткие арифметики для детских школ (а может быть, и действительно на оклейку пошла какая-нибудь арифметика). Кругом же обе папиросочницы были, для красоты, оклеены тоненьким бордюрчиком из золотой бумажки, за которою она, может быть, нарочно ходила в лавки. «Вот вы курите же папироски, так, может быть, и пригодится вам», — сказала она, как бы извиняясь робко перед нами за свой подарок… Говорят иные (я слышал и читал это), что высочайшая любовь к ближнему есть в то же время и величайший эгоизм. Уж в чем тут-то был эгоизм — никак не пойму.
Хоть у меня вовсе не было при входе в острог больших денег, но я как-то не мог тогда серьезно досадовать на тех из каторжных, которые почти в первые часы моей острожной жизни, уже обманув меня раз, пренаивно приходили по другому, по третьему и даже по пятому разу занимать у меня. Но признаюсь в одном откровенно: мне очень было досадно, что весь этот люд, с своими наивными хитростями, непременно должен был, как мне казалось, считать меня простофилей и дурачком и смеяться надо мной, именно потому, что я в пятый раз давал им деньги. Им непременно должно было казаться, что я поддаюсь на их обманы и хитрости, и если б, напротив, я им отказывал и прогонял их, то, я уверен, они стали бы несравненно более уважать меня. Но как я не досадовал, а отказать все-таки не мог. Досадовал же я потому, что серьезно и заботливо думал в эти первые дни о том, как и на какой ноге поставлю я себя в остроге, или, лучше сказать, на какой ноге я должен был стоять с ними. Я чувствовал и понимал, что вся эта среда для меня совершенно новая, что я в совершенных потемках, а что в потемках нельзя прожить столько лет. Следовало приготовиться. Разумеется, я решил, что прежде всего надо поступать прямо, как внутреннее чувство и совесть велят. Но я знал тоже, что ведь это только афоризм, а передо мной все-таки явится самая неожиданная практика.
И потому, несмотря на все мелочные заботы о своем устройстве в казарме, о которых я уже упоминал и в которые вовлекал меня по преимуществу Аким Акимыч, несмотря на то что они несколько и развлекали меня, — страшная, ядущая тоска все более и более меня мучила. «Мертвый дом! » — говорил я сам себе, присматриваясь иногда в сумерки, с крылечка нашей казармы, к арестантам, уже собравшимся с работы и лениво слонявшимся по площадке острожного двора, из казарм в кухни и обратно. Присматривался к ним и по лицам и движениям их старался узнавать, что они за люди и какие у них характеры? Они же шлялись передо мной с нахмуренными лбами или уже слишком развеселые (эти два вида наиболее встречаются и почти характеристика каторги), ругались или просто разговаривали или, наконец, прогуливались в одиночку, как будто в задумчивости, тихо, плавно, иные с усталым и апатическим видом, другие (даже и здесь!) — с видом заносчивого превосходства, с шапками набекрень, с тулупами внакидку, с дерзким, лукавым видом и с нахальной пересмешкой. «Все это моя среда, мой теперешний мир, — думал я, — с которым, хочу не хочу, а должен жить…» Я пробовал было расспрашивать и разузнавать об них у Аким Акимыча, с которым очень любил пить чай, чтоб не быть одному. Мимоходом сказать, чай, в это первое время, был почти единственною моею пищею. От чаю Аким Акимыч не отказывался и сам наставлял наш смешной, самодельный, маленький самовар из жести, который дал мне на поддержание М. Аким Акимыч выпивал обыкновенно один стакан (у него были и стаканы), выпивал молча и чинно, возвращая мне его, благодарил и тотчас же принимался отделывать мое одеяло. Но того, что мне надо было узнать, — сообщить не мог и даже не понимал, к чему я так особенно интересуюсь характерами окружающих нас и ближайших к нам каторжных, и слушал меня даже с какой-то хитренькой улыбочкой, очень мне памятной. «Нет, видно, надо самому испытывать, а не расспрашивать», — подумал я.
На четвертый день, так же как и в тот раз, когда я ходил перековываться, выстроились рано поутру арестанты, в два ряда, на площадке перед кордегардией, у острожных ворот. Впереди, лицом к ним, и сзади — вытянулись солдаты, с заряженными ружьями и с примкнутыми штыками. Солдат имеет право стрелять в арестанта, если тот вздумает бежать от него; но в то же время и отвечает за свой выстрел, если сделал его не в случае самой крайней необходимости; то же самое и в случае открытого бунта каторжников. Но кто же бы вздумал бежать явно? Явился инженерный офицер, кондуктор, а также инженерные унтер-офицеры и солдаты, приставы над производившимися работами. Сделали перекличку; часть арестантов, ходившая в швальни, отправлявшаяся прежде всех; до них инженерное начальство и не касалось; они работали собственно на острог и обшивали его. Затем отправились в мастерские, а затем и на обыкновенные черные работы. В числе человек двадцати других арестантов отправился и я. За крепостью, на замерзшей реке, были две казенные барки, которые за негодностью нужно было разобрать, чтоб по крайней мере старый лес не пропал даром. Впрочем, весь этот старый материал, кажется, очень мало стоил, почти ничего. Дрова в городе продавались по цене ничтожной, и кругом лесу было множество. Посылались почти только для того, чтоб арестантам не сидеть сложа руки, что и сами-то арестанты хорошо понимали. За такую работу они всегда принимались вяло и апатически, и почти совсем другое бывало, когда работа сама по себе была дельная, ценная и особенно когда можно было выпросить себе на урок. Тут они словно чем-то одушевлялись и хоть им вовсе не было никакой от этого выгоды, но, я сам видел, выбивались из сил, чтоб ее поскорей и получше докончить; даже самолюбие их тут как-то заинтересовывалось. А в настоящей работе, делавшейся более для проформы, чем для надобности, трудно было выпросить себе урок, а надо было работать вплоть до барабана, бившего призыв домой в одиннадцать часов утра. День был теплый и туманный; снег чуть не таял. Вся наша кучка отправилась за крепость на берег, слегка побрякивая цепями, которые хотя и были скрыты под одеждою, но все-таки издавали тонкий и резкий металлический звук с каждым шагом. Два-три человека отделились за необходимым инструментом в цейхауз. Я шел вместе со всеми и даже как будто оживился: мне хотелось поскорее увидеть и узнать, что за работа? Какая это каторжная работа? И как я сам буду в первый раз в жизни работать?
Помню все до малейшей подробности. На дороге встретился нам какой-то мещанин с бородкой, остановился и засунул руку в карман. Из нашей кучки немедленно отделился арестант, снял шапку, принял подаяние — пять копеек — и проворно воротился к своим. Мещанин перекрестился и пошел своею дорогою. Эти пять копеек в то же утро проели на калачах, разделив их на всю нашу партию поровну.
Из всей этой кучки арестантов одни были, по обыкновению, угрюмы и неразговорчивы, другие равнодушны и вялы, третьи лениво болтали промеж собой. Один был ужасно чему-то рад и весел, пел и чуть не танцевал дорогой, прибрякивая с каждым прыжком кандалами. Это был тот самый невысокий и плотный арестант, который в первое утро мое в остроге поссорился с другим у воды, во время умывания, за то, что другой осмелился безрассудно утверждать про себя, что он птица каган. Звали этого развеселившегося парня Скуратов. Наконец, он запел какую-то лихую песню, из которой я помню припев:
Без меня меня женили —
Я на мельнице был.
Недоставало только балалайки.
Его необыкновенно веселое расположение духа, разумеется, тотчас же возбудило в некоторых из нашей партии негодование, даже принято было чуть не за обиду.
— Завыл! — с укоризною проговорил один арестант, до которого, впрочем, вовсе не касалось дело.
— Одна была песня у волка, и ту перенял, туляк! — заметил другой, из мрачных, хохлацким выговором.
— Я-то, положим, туляк, — немедленно возразил Скуратов, — а вы в вашей Полтаве галушкой подавились.
— Ври! Сам-то что едал! Лаптем щи хлебал.
— А теперь словно черт ядрами кормит, — прибавил третий.
— Я и вправду, братцы, изнеженный человек, — отвечал с легким вздохом Скуратов, как будто раскаиваясь в своей изнеженности и обращаясь ко всем вообще и ни к кому в особенности, — с самого сызмалетства на черносливе да на пампрусских булках испытан (то есть воспитан. Скуратов нарочно коверкал слова), родимые же братцы мои и теперь еще в Москве свою лавку имеют, в прохожем ряду ветром торгуют, купцы богатеющие.
— А ты чем торговал?
— А по разным качествам и мы происходили. Вот тогда-то, братцы, и получил я первые двести…
— Неужто рублей! — подхватил один любопытный, даже вздрогнув, услышав про такие деньги.
— Нет, милый человек, не рублей, а палок. Лука, а Лука!
— Кому Лука, а тебе Лука Кузьмич, — нехотя отозвался маленький и тоненький арестантик с востреньким носиком.
— Ну Лука Кузьмич, черт с тобой, так уж и быть.
— Кому Лука Кузьмич, а тебе дядюшка.
— Ну, да черт с тобой и с дядюшкой, не стоит и говорить! А хорошее было слово хотел сказать. Ну, так вот, братцы, как это случилось, что недолго я нажил в Москве; дали мне там напоследок пятнадцать кнутиков да и отправили вон. Вот я…
— Да за что отправили-то?.. — перебил один, прилежно следивший за рассказом.
— А не ходи в карантин, не пей шпунтов, не играй на белендрясе; так что я не успел, братцы, настоящим образом в Москве разбогатеть. А оченно, оченно, оченно того хотел, чтоб богатым быть. И уж так мне этого хотелось, что и не знаю, как и сказать.
Многие рассмеялись. Скуратов был, очевидно, из добровольных весельчаков, или, лучше, шутов, которые как будто ставили себе в обязанность развеселять своих угрюмых товарищей и, разумеется, ровно ничего, кроме брани, за это не получали. Он принадлежал к особенному и замечательному типу, о котором мне, может быть, еще придется поговорить.
— Да тебя и теперь вместо соболя бить можно, — заметил Лука Кузьмич. — Ишь, одной одежи рублей на сто будет.
На Скуратове был самый ветхий, самый заношенный тулупишка, на котором со всех сторон торчали заплаты. Он довольно равнодушно, но внимательно осмотрел его сверху донизу.
— Голова зато дорого стоит, братцы, голова! — отвечал он. — Как и с Москвой прощался, тем и утешен был, что голова со мной вместе пойдет. Прощай, Москва, спасибо за баню, за вольный дух, славно исполосовали! А на тулуп нечего тебе, милый человек, смотреть…
— Небось на твою голову смотреть?
— Да и голова-то у него не своя, а подаянная, — опять ввязался Лука. — Ее ему в Тюмени Христа ради подали, как с партией проходил.
— Что ж ты, Скуратов, небось мастерство имел?
— Како мастерство! Поводырь был, гаргосов водил, у них голыши таскал, — заметил один из нахмуренных, — вот и все его мастерство.
— Я действительно пробовал было сапоги тачать, — отвечал Скуратов, совершенно не заметив колкого замечания. — Всего одну пару и стачал.
— Что ж, покупали?
— Да, нарвался такой, что, видно, бога не боялся, отца-мать не почитал; наказал его господь, — купил.
Все вокруг Скуратова так и покатились со смеху.
— Да потом еще раз работал, уж здесь, — продолжал с чрезвычайным хладнокровием Скуратов, — Степану Федорычу Поморцеву, поручику, головки приставлял.
— Что ж он, доволен был?
— Нет, братцы, недоволен. На тысячу лет обругал да еще коленком напинал мне сзади. Оченно уж рассердился. Эх, солгала моя жизнь, солгала каторжная!
Погодя того немножко,
Ак-кулинин муж на двор… —
неожиданно залился он снова и пустился притопывать, вприпрыжку ногами.
— Ишь, безобразный человек! — проворчал шедший подле меня хохол, с злобным презрением скосив на него глаза.
— Бесполезный человек! — заметил другой окончательным и серьезным тоном.
Я решительно не понимал, за что на Скуратова сердятся, да и вообще — почему все веселые, как уже успел я заметить в эти первые дни, как будто находились в некотором презрении? Гнев хохла и других я относил к личностям. Но это были не личности, а гнев за то, что в Скуратове не было выдержки, не было строгого напускного вида собственного достоинства, которым заражена была вся каторга до педантства, — одним словом, за то, что он был, по их же выражению, «бесполезный» человек. Однако на веселых не на всех сердились и не всех так третировали, как Скуратова и других ему подобных. Кто как с собой позволял обходиться: человек добродушный и без затей тотчас же подвергался унижению. Это меня даже поразило. Но были и из веселых, которые умели и любили огрызнуться и спуску никому не давали: тех принуждены были уважать. Тут же, в этой же кучке людей, был один из таких зубастых, а в сущности развеселый и премилейший человек, но которого с этой стороны я узнал уже после, видный и рослый парень, с большой бородавкой на щеке и с прекомическим выражением лица, впрочем довольно красивого и сметливого. Называли его пионером, потому что когда-то он служил в пионерах; теперь же находился в особом отделении. Про него мне еще придется говорить.
Впрочем, и не все «серьезные» были так экспансивны, как негодующий на веселость хохол. В каторге было несколько человек, метивших на первенство, на знание всякого дела, на находчивость, на характер, на ум. Многие из таких действительно были люди умные, с характером и действительно достигали того, на что метили, то есть первенства и значительного нравственного влияния на своих товарищей. Между собою эти умники были часто большие враги — и каждый из них имел много ненавистников. На прочих арестантов они смотрели с достоинством и даже с снисходительностью, ссор ненужных не затевали, у начальства были на хорошем счету, на работах являлись как будто распорядителями, и ни один из них не стал бы придираться, например, за песни; до таких мелочей они не унижались. Со мной все такие были замечательно вежливы, во все продолжение каторги, но не очень разговорчивы; тоже как будто из достоинства. Об них тоже придется поговорить подробнее.
Пришли на берег. Внизу, на реке, стояла замерзшая в воде старая барка, которую надо было ломать. На той стороне реки синела степь; вид был угрюмый и пустынный. Я ждал, что так все и бросятся за работу, но об этом и не думали. Иные расселись на валявшихся по берегу бревнах; почти все вытащили из сапог кисеты с туземным табаком, продававшимся на базаре в листах по три копейки за фунт, и коротенькие талиновые чубучки с маленькими деревянными трубочками-самодельщиной. Трубки закурились; конвойные солдаты обтянули нас цепью и с скучнейшим видом принялись нас стеречь.
— И кто догадался ломать эту барку? — промолвил один как бы про себя, ни к кому, впрочем, не обращаясь. — Щепок, что ль захотелось?
— А кто нас не боится, тот и догадался, — заметил другой.
— Куда это мужичье-то валит? — помолчав, спросил первый, разумеется не заметив ответа на прежний вопрос и указывая вдаль на толпу мужиков, пробиравшихся куда-то гуськом по цельному снегу. Все лениво оборотились в ту сторону и от нечего делать принялись их пересмеивать. Один из мужичков, последний, шел как-то необыкновенно смешно, расставив руки и свесив набок голову, на которой была длинная мужичья шапка, гречневиком. Вся фигура его цельно и ясно обозначалась на белом снегу.
— Ишь, братан Петрович, как оболокся! — заметил один, передразнивая выговором мужиков. Замечательно, что арестанты вообще смотрели на мужиков несколько свысока, хотя половина из них были из мужиков.
— Задний-то, ребята, ходит, точно редьку садит.
— Это тяжкодум, у него денег много, — заметил третий.
Все засмеялись, но как-то тоже лениво, как будто нехотя. Между тем подошла калашница, бойкая и разбитная бабенка.
У ней взяли калачей на подаянный пятак и разделили тут же поровну.
Молодой парень, торговавший в остроге калачами, забрал десятка два и крепко стал спорить, чтоб выторговать три, а не два калача, как следовало по обыкновенному порядку. Но калашница не соглашалась.
— Ну, а того-то не дашь?
— Чего еще?
— Да чего мыши-то не едят.
— Да чтоб те язвило! — взвизгнула бабенка и засмеялась.
Наконец появился и пристав над работами, унтер-офицер с палочкой.
— Эй вы, что расселись! Начинать!
— Да что, Иван Матвеич, дайте урок, — проговорил один из «начальствующих», медленно подымаясь с места.
— Чего давеча на разводке не спрашивали? Барку растащи, вот те и урок.
Кое-как наконец поднялись и спустились к реке, едва волоча ноги. В толпе тотчас же появились и «распорядители», по крайней мере на словах. Оказалось, что барку не следовало рубить зря, а надо было по возможности сохранить бревна и в особенности поперечные кокоры, прибитые по всей длине своей ко дну барки деревянными гвоздями, — работа долгая и скучная.
— Вот надоть бы перво-наперво оттащить это бревнушко. Принимайся-ка, ребята! — заметил один вовсе не распорядитель и не начальствующий, а просто чернорабочий, бессловесный и тихий малый, молчавший до сих пор, и, нагнувшись, обхватил руками толстое бревно, поджидая помощников. Но никто не помог ему.
— Да, подымешь небось! И ты не подымешь, да и дед твой, медведь, приди, — и тот не подымет! — проворчал кто-то сквозь зубы.
— Так что ж, братцы, как начинать-то? Я уж и не знаю… — проговорил озадаченный выскочка, оставив бревно и приподымаясь.
— Всей работы не переработаешь… чего выскочил?
— Трем курам корму раздать обочтется, а туда же первый… Стрепета!
— Да я, братцы, ничего, — отговаривался озадаченный, — я только так…
— Да что ж мне на вас чехлы понадеть, что ли? Аль солить вас прикажете на зиму? — крикнул опять пристав, с недоумением смотря на двадцатиголовую толпу, на знавшую, как приняться за дело. — Начинать! Скорей!
— Скорей скорого не сделаешь, Иван Матвеич.
— Да ты и так ничего не делаешь, эй! Савельев! Разговор Петрович! Тебе говорю: что стоишь, глаза продаешь!.. начинать!
— Да я что ж один сделаю?..
— Уж задайте урок, Иван Матвеич.
— Сказано — не будет урока. Растащи барку и иди домой. Начинать!
Принялись наконец, но вяло, нехотя, неумело. Даже досадно было смотреть на эту здоровенную толпу дюжих работников, которые, кажется, решительно недоумевали, как взяться за дело. Только было принялись вынимать первую, самую маленькую кокору — оказалось, что она ломается, «сама ломается», как принесено было в оправдание приставу; следственно, так нельзя было работать, а надо было приняться как-нибудь иначе. Пошло долгое рассуждение промеж собой о том, как приняться иначе, что делать? Разумеется, мало-помалу дошло до ругани, грозило зайти и подальше… Пристав опять прикрикнул и помахал палочкой, но кокора опять сломалась. Оказалось наконец, что топоров мало и что надо еще принести какой-нибудь инструмент. Тотчас же отрядили двух парней, под конвоем, за инструментом в крепость, а в ожидании все остальные преспокойно уселись на барке, вынули свои трубочки и опять закурили.
Пристав наконец плюнул.
— Ну, от вас работа не заплачет! Эх, народ, народ! — проворчал он сердито, махнул рукой и пошел в крепость, помахивая палочкой.
Через час пришел кондуктор. Спокойно выслушав арестантов, он объявил, что дает на урок вынуть еще четыре кокоры, но так, чтоб уж они не ломались, а целиком, да, сверх того, отделил разобрать значительную часть барки, с тем, что тогда уж можно будет идти домой. Урок был большой, но, батюшки, как принялись! Куда делась лень, куда делось недоумение! Застучали топоры, начали вывертывать деревянные гвозди. Остальные подкладывали толстые шесты и, налегая на них в двадцать рук, бойко и мастерски выламывали кокоры, которые, к удивлению моему, выламывались теперь совершенно целые и непопорченные. Дело кипело. Все вдруг как-то замечательно поумнели. Ни лишних слов, ни ругани, всяк знал, что сказать, что сделать, куда стать, что посоветовать. Ровно за полчаса до барабана заданный урок был окончен, и арестанты пошли домой, усталые, но совершенно довольные, хоть и выиграли всего-то каких-нибудь полчаса против указанного времени. Но относительно меня я заметил одну особенность: куда бы я не приткнулся им помогать во время работы, везде я был не у места, везде мешал, везде меня чуть не с бранью отгоняли прочь.
Какой-нибудь последний оборвыш, который и сам-то был самым плохим работником и не смел пикнуть перед другими каторжниками, побойчее его и потолковее, и тот считал вправе крикнуть на меня и прогнать меня, если я становился подле него, под тем предлогом, что я ему мешаю. Наконец, один из бойких прямо и грубо сказал мне: «Куда лезете, ступайте прочь! Что соваться куда не спрашивают».
— Попался в мешок, — тотчас же подхватил другой.
— А ты лучше кружку возьми, — сказал мне третий, — да и ступай сбирать на каменное построение да на табашное разорение, а здесь тебе нечего делать.
Приходилось стоять отдельно, а отдельно стоять, когда все работают, как-то совестно. Но когда действительно так случилось, что я отошел и стал на конец барки, тотчас же закричали:
— Вон каких надавали работников; чего с ними сделаешь? Ничего не сделаешь!
Все это, разумеется, было нарочно, потому что всех это тешило. Надо было поломаться над бывшим дворянчиком, и, конечно, они были рады случаю.
Очень понятно теперь, почему, как уже я говорил прежде, первым вопросом моим при вступлении в острог было: как вести себя, как поставить себя перед этими людьми? Я предчувствовал, что часто будут у меня такие же столкновения с ними, как теперь на работе. Но, несмотря ни на какие столкновения, я решился не изменять плана моих действий, уже отчасти обдуманного мною в это время; я знал, что он справедлив. Именно: я решил, что надо держать себя как можно проще и независимее, отнюдь не выказывать особенного старания сближаться с ними; но и не отвергать их, если они сами пожелают сближения. Отнюдь не бояться их угроз и ненависти и, по возможности, делать вид, что не замечаю того. Отнюдь не сближаться с ними на некоторых известных пунктах и не давать потачки некоторым их привычкам и обычаям, одним словом — не напрашиваться самому на полное их товарищество. Я догадался с первого взгляда, что они первые презирали бы меня за это. Однако, по их понятиям (и я узнал это впоследствии наверно), я все-таки должен был соблюдать и уважать перед ними даже дворянское происхождение мое, то есть нежиться, ломаться, брезгать ими, фыркать на каждом шагу, белоручничать. Так именно они понимали, что такое дворянин. Они, разумеется, ругали бы меня за это, но все-таки уважали бы про себя. Такая роль была не по мне; я никогда не бывал дворянином по их понятиям; но зато я дал себе слово никакой уступкой не унижать перед ними ни образования моего, ни образа мыслей моих. Если б я стал, им в угоду, подлещаться к ним, соглашаться с ними, фамильярничать с ними и пускаться в разные их «качества», чтоб выиграть их расположение, — они бы тотчас же предположили, что я делаю это из страха и трусости, и с презрением обошлись бы со мной. А-в был не пример: он ходил к майору, и они сами боялись его. С другой стороны, мне и не хотелось замыкаться перед ними в холодную и недоступную вежливость, как делали поляки. Я очень хорошо видел теперь, что они презирают меня за то, что я хотел работать, как и они, не нежился и не ломался перед ними; и хоть я наверно знал, что потом они принуждены будут переменить обо мне свое мнение, но все-таки мысль, что теперь они как будто имеют право презирать меня, думая, что я на работе заискивал перед ними, — эта мысль ужасно огорчала меня.
Когда вечером, по окончании послеобеденной работы, я воротился в острог, усталый и измученный, страшная тоска опять одолела меня. «Сколько тысяч еще таких дней впереди, — думал я, — все таких же, все одних и тех же! » Молча, уже в сумерки, скитался я один за казармами, вдоль забора, и вдруг увидал нашего Шарика, бегущего прямо ко мне. Шарик был наша острожная собака, так, как бывают ротные, батарейные и эскадронные собаки. Она жила в остроге с незапамятных времен, никому не принадлежала, всех считала хозяевами и кормилась выбросками из кухни. Это была довольно большая собака, черная с белыми пятнами, дворняжка, не очень старая, с умными глазами и с пушистым хвостом. Никто-то никогда не ласкал ее, никто-то не обращал на нее никакого внимания. Еще с первого же дня я погладил ее и из рук дал ей хлеба. Когда я ее гладил, она стояла смирно, ласково смотрела на меня и в знак удовольствия тихо махала хвостом. Теперь, долго меня не видя, — меня, первого, который в несколько лет вздумал ее приласкать, — она бегала и отыскивала меня между всеми и, отыскав за казармами, с визгом пустилась мне на встречу. Уж и не знаю, что со мной сталось, но я бросился целовать ее, я обнял ее голову; она вскочила мне передними лапами на плечи и начала лизать мне лицо. «Так вот друг, которого мне посылает судьба!» — подумал я, и каждый раз, когда потом, в это первое тяжелое и угрюмое время, я возвращался с работы, то прежде всего, не входя еще никуда, я спешил за казармы, со скачущим передо мной и визжащим от радости Шариком, обхватывал его голову и целовал, целовал ее, и какое-то сладкое, а вместе с тем и мучительно горькое чувство щемило мне сердце. И помню, мне даже приятно было думать, как будто хвалясь перед собой своей же мукой, что вот на всем свете только и осталось теперь для меня одно существо, меня любящее, ко мне привязанное, мой друг, мой единственный друг — моя верная собака Шарик.

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VII. Новые знакомства. Петров

Но время шло, и я мало-помалу стал обживаться. С каждым днем все менее и менее смущали меня обыденные явления моей новой жизни. Происшествия, обстановка, люди — все как-то примелькалось к глазам. Примириться с этой жизнью было невозможно, но признать ее за совершившийся факт давно пора было. Все недоразумения, которые еще остались во мне, я затаил внутри себя, как только мог глуше. Я уже не слонялся по острогу как потерянный и не выдавал тоски своей. Дико любопытные взгляды каторжных уже не останавливались на мне так часто, не следили за мной с такою выделанною наглостью. Я тоже, видно, примелькался им, чему я был очень рад. По острогу я уже расхаживал как у себя дома, знал свое место на нарах и даже, по-видимому, привык к таким вещам, к которым думал и в жизнь не привыкнуть. Регулярно каждую неделю ходил брить половину своей головы. Каждую субботу, в шабашное время, нас вызывали для этого, поочередно, из острога в кордегардию (не выбрившийся уже сам отвечал за себя), и там цирюльники из батальонов мылили холодным мылом наши головы и безжалостно скребли их тупейшими бритвами, так что у меня даже и теперь мороз проходит по коже при воспоминании об этой пытке. Впрочем, скоро нашлось лекарство: Аким Акимыч указал мне одного арестанта, военного разряда, который за копейку брил собственной бритвой кого угодно и тем промышлял. Многие из каторжных ходили к нему, чтоб избежать казенных цирюльников, а между тем народ был не неженка. Нашего арестанта-цирюльника звали майором — почему — не знаю, и чем он мог напоминать майора — тоже не могу сказать. Теперь, как пишу это, так и представляется мне этот майор, высокий худощавый и молчаливый парень, довольно глуповатый, вечно углубленный в свое занятие и непременно с ремнем в руке, на котором он денно и нощно направлял свою донельзя сточенную бритву, и, кажется, весь уходил в это занятие, приняв его, очевидно, за назначение всей своей жизни. В самом деле, он был до крайности доволен, когда бритва была хороша и когда кто-нибудь приходил побриться: мыло было у него теплое, рука легкая, бритье бархатное. Он видимо наслаждался и гордился своим искусством и небрежно принимал заработанную копейку, как будто и в самом деле дело было в искусстве, а не в копейке. Больно досталось А-ву от нашего плац-майора, когда он, фискаля ему на острог, упомянул раз имя нашего острожного цирюльника и неосторожно назвал его майором. Плац-майор рассвирепел и обиделся до последней степени. «Да знаешь ли ты, подлец, что такое майор! — кричал он с пеной у рта, по-свойски расправляясь с А-вым, — понимаешь ли ты, что такое майор! И вдруг какой-нибудь подлец каторжный, и сметь его звать майором, мне в глаза, в моем присутствии!.. » Только А-в мог уживаться с таким человеком.
С самого первого дня моей жизни в остроге я уже начал мечтать о свободе. Расчет, когда кончатся мои острожные годы, в тысяче разных видах и применениях, сделался моим любимым занятием. Я даже и думать ни о чем не мог иначе и уверен, что так поступает всякий, лишенный на срок свободы. Не знаю, думали ль, рассчитывали ль каторжные так же, как я, но удивительное легкомыслие их надежд поразило меня с первого шагу. Надежда заключенного, лишенного свободы, — совершенно другого рода, чем настоящим образом живущего человека. Свободный человек, конечно, надеется (например, на перемену судьбы, на исполнение какого-нибудь предприятия), но он живет, он действует; настоящая жизнь увлекает его свои круговоротом вполне. Не то для заключенного. Тут, положим, тоже жизнь — острожная, каторжная; но кто бы ни был каторжник и на какой бы срок он ни был сослан, он решительно, инстинктивно не может принять свою судьбу за что-то положительное, окончательное, за часть действительной жизни. Всякий каторжник чувствует, что он не у себя дома, а как будто в гостях. На двадцать лет он смотрит будто на два года и совершенно уверен, что и в пятьдесят пять лет по выходе из острога он будет такой же молодец, как и теперь, в тридцать пять. «Поживем еще!» — думает он и упрямо гонит от себя все сомнения и прочие досадные мысли. Даже сосланные без срока, особого отделения, и те рассчитывали иногда, что вот нет-нет, а вдруг придет из Питера: «Переслать в Нерчинск, в рудники, и назначить сроки». Тогда славно: во-первых, в Нерчинск чуть не полгода идти, а в партии идти против острога куды лучше! А потом кончить в Нерчинске срок и тогда… И ведь так рассчитывает иной седой человек!
В Тобольске видел я прикованных к стене. Он сидит на цепи, этак в сажень длиною; тут у него койка. Приковали его за что-нибудь из ряду вон страшное, совершенное уже в Сибири. Сидят по пяти лет, сидят и по десяти. Большею частью из разбойников. Одного только между ними я видел как будто из господ; где-то он когда-то служил. Говорил он смирнехонько, пришепетывая; улыбочка сладенькая. Он показывал нам свою цепь, показывал, как надо ложиться удобнее на койку. То-то, должно быть, была своего рода птица! Все они вообще смирно ведут себя и кажутся довольными, а между тем каждому чрезвычайно хочется поскорее высидеть свой срок. К чему бы, кажется? А вот к чему: выйдет он тогда из душной промозглой комнаты с низкими кирпичными сводами и пройдется по двору острога, и… и только. За острог уж его не выпустят никогда. Он сам знает, что спущенные с цепи навечно уже содержатся при остроге, до самой смерти своей, и в кандалах. Он это знает, и все-таки ему ужасно хочется поскорее кончить свой цепной срок. Ведь без этого желания мог ли бы он просидеть пять или шесть лет на цепи, не умереть или не сойти с ума? Стал ли бы еще иной-то сидеть?
Я чувствовал, что работа может спасти меня, укрепить мое здоровье, тело. Постоянное душевное беспокойство, нервическое раздражение, спертый воздух казармы могли бы разрушить меня совершенно. «Чаще быть на воздухе, каждый день уставать, приучаться носить тяжести — и по крайней мере я спасу себя, — думал я, — укреплю себя, выйду здоровый, бодрый, сильный, нестарый». Я не ошибся: работа и движение были мне очень полезны. Я с ужасом смотрел на одного из моих товарищей (из дворян), как он гас в остроге, как свечка. Вошел он в него вместе со мною, еще молодой, красивый, бодрый, а вышел полуразрушенный, седой, без ног, с одышкой. «Нет, — думал я, на него глядя, — я хочу жить и буду жить». Зато и доставалось же мне сначала от каторжных за любовь к работе, и долго они язвили меня презрением и насмешками. Но я не смотрел ни на кого и бодро отправлялся куда-нибудь, например хоть обжигать и толочь алебастр, — одна из первых работ, мною узнанных. Это была работа легкая. Инженерное начальство, по возможности, готово было облегчать работу дворянам, что, впрочем, было вовсе не поблажкой, а только справедливостью. Странно было бы требовать с человека, вполовину слабейшего силой и никогда не работавшего, того же урока, который задавался по положению настоящему работнику. Но это «баловство» не всегда исполнялось, даже исполнялось-то как будто украдкой: за этим надзирали строго со стороны. Довольно часто приходилось работать работу тяжелую, и тогда, разумеется, дворяне выносили двойную тягость, чем другие работники. На алебастр назначали обыкновенно человека три-четыре, стариков или слабосильных, ну, и нас в том числе, разумеется; да, сверх того, прикомандировывали одного настоящего работника, знающего дело. Обыкновенно ходил все один и тот же, несколько лет сряду, Алмазов, суровый, смуглый и сухощавый человек, уже в летах, необщительный и брюзгливый. Он глубоко нас презирал. Впрочем, он был очень неразговорчив, до того, что даже ленился ворчать на нас. Сарай, в котором обжигали и толкли алебастр, стоял тоже на пустынном и крутом берегу реки. Зимой, особенно в сумрачный день, смотреть на реку и на противоположный далекий берег было скучно. Что-то тоскливое, надрывающее сердце было в этом диком и пустынном пейзаже. Но чуть ли еще не тяжелей было, когда на бесконечной белой пелене снега ярко сияло солнце; так бы и улетел куда-нибудь в эту степь, которая начиналась на другом берегу и расстилалась к югу одной непрерывной скатертью тысячи на полторы верст. Алмазов обыкновенно молча и сурово принимался за работу; мы словно стыдились, что не можем настоящим образом помогать ему, а он нарочно управлялся один, нарочно не требовал от нас никакой помощи, как будто для того, чтоб мы чувствовали всю вину нашу перед ним и каялись собственной бесполезностью. А всего-то и дела было вытопить печь, чтоб обжечь накладенный в нее алебастр, который мы же, бывало, и натаскаем ему. На другой же день, когда алебастр бывал уже совсем обожжен, начиналась его выгрузка из печки. Каждый из нас брал тяжелую колотушку, накладывал себе особый ящик алебастром и принимался разбивать его. Это была премилая работа. Хрупкий алебастр быстро обращался в белую блестящую пыль, так ловко, так хорошо крошился. Мы взмахивали тяжелыми молотами и задавали такую трескотню, что самим было любо. И уставали-то мы наконец, и легко в то же время становилось; щеки краснели, кровь обращалась быстрее. Тут уж и Алмазов начинал смотреть на нас снисходительно, как смотрят на малолетних детей; снисходительно покуривал свою трубочку и все-таки не мог не ворчать, когда приходилось ему говорить. Впрочем, он и со всеми был такой же, а в сущности, кажется, добрый человек.
Другая работа, на которую я посылался, — в мастерской вертеть точильное колесо. Колесо было большое, тяжелое. Требовалось немалых усилий вертеть его, особенно когда токарь (из инженерных мастеровых) точил что-нибудь вроде лестничной балясины или ножки от большого стола, для казенной мебели какому-нибудь чиновнику, на что требовалось чуть не бревно. Одному в таком случае было вертеть не под силу, и обыкновенно посылали двоих — меня и еще одного из дворян, Б. Так эта работа в продолжение нескольких лет и оставалась за нами, если только приходилось что-нибудь точить. Б. был слабосильный, тщедушный человек, еще молодой, страдавший грудью. Он прибыл в острог с год передо мною вместе с двумя другими из своих товарищей — одним стариком, все время острожной жизни денно и нощно молившимся богу (за что уважали его арестанты) и умершим при мне, и с другим, еще очень молодым человеком, свежим, румяным, сильным, смелым, который дорогою нес устававшего с пол-этапа Б., что продолжалось семьсот верст сряду. Нужно было видеть их дружбу между собою. Б. был человек с прекрасным образованием, благородный, с характером великодушным, но испорченным и раздраженным болезнью. С колесом справлялись мы вместе, и это даже занимало нас обоих. Мне эта работа давала превосходный моцион.
Особенно тоже я любил разгребать снег. Это бывало обыкновенно после буранов, и бывало очень нередко в зиму. После суточного бурана заметало иной дом до половины окон, а иной чуть не совсем заносило. Тогда, как уже прекращался буран и выступало солнце, выгоняли нас большими кучами, а иногда и всем острогом — отгребать сугробы снега от казенных зданий. Каждому давалась лопата, всем вместе урок, иногда такой, что надо было удивляться, как можно с ним справиться, и все дружно принимались за дело. Рыхлый, только что слегшийся и слегка примороженный сверху снег ловко брался лопатой, огромными комками, и разбрасывался кругом, еще на воздухе обращаясь в блестящую пыль. Лопата так и врезалась в белую, сверкающую на солнце массу. Арестанты почти всегда работали эту работу весело. Свежий зимний воздух, движение разгорячали их. Все становились веселее; раздавался хохот, вскрикиванья, остроты. Начинали играть в снежки, не без того, разумеется, чтоб через минуту не закричали благоразумные и негодующие на смех и веселость, и всеобщее увлечение обыкновенно кончалось руганью.
Мало-помалу я стал распространять и круг моего знакомства. Впрочем, сам я не думал о знакомствах: я все еще был неспокоен, угрюм и недоверчив. Знакомства мои начались сами собою. Из первых стал посещать меня арестант Петров. Я говорю посещать и особенно напираю на это слово. Петров жил в особом отделении и в самой отдаленной от меня казарме. Связей между нами, по-видимому, не могло быть никаких; общего тоже решительно ничего у нас не было и быть не могло. А между тем в это первое время Петров как будто обязанностью почитал чуть не каждый день заходить ко мне в казарму или останавливать меня в шабашное время, когда, бывало, я хожу за казармами, по возможности подальше от всех глаз. Мне сначала это было неприятно. Но он как-то так умел сделать, что вскоре его посещения даже стали развлекать меня, несмотря на то что это был вовсе не особенно сообщительный и разговорчивый человек. С виду был он невысокого роста, сильного сложения, ловкий, вертлявый, с довольно приятным лицом, бледный, с широкими скулами, с смелым взглядом, с белыми, чистыми и мелкими зубами и с вечной щепотью тертого табаку за нижней губой. Класть за губу табак было в обычае у многих каторжных. Он казался моложе своих лет. Ему было лет сорок, а на вид только тридцать. Говорил он со мной всегда чрезвычайно непринужденно, держал себя в высшей степени на равной ноге, то есть чрезвычайно порядочно и деликатно. Если он замечал, например, что я ищу уединения, то, поговорив со мной минуты две, тотчас же оставлял меня и каждый раз благодарил за внимание, чего, разумеется, не делал никогда и ни с кем из всей каторги. Любопытно, что такие же отношения продолжались между нами не только в первые дни, но и в продолжение нескольких лет сряду и почти никогда не становились короче, хотя он действительно был мне предан. Я даже и теперь не могу решить: чего именно ему от меня хотелось, зачем он лез ко мне каждый день? Хоть ему и случалось воровать у меня впоследствии, но он воровал как-то нечаянно; денег же почти никогда у меня не просил, следовательно, приходил вовсе не за деньгами или за каким-нибудь интересом.
Не знаю тоже почему, но мне всегда казалось, что он как будто вовсе не жил вместе со мною в остроге, а где-то далеко в другом доме, в городе, и только посещал острог мимоходом, чтоб узнать новости, проведать меня, посмотреть, как мы все живем. Всегда он куда-то спешил, точно где-то кого-то оставил и там ждут его, точно где-то что-то недоделал. А между тем как будто и не очень суетился. Взгляд у него тоже был какой-то странный: пристальный, с оттенком смелости и некоторой насмешки, но глядел он как-то вдаль, через предмет; как будто из-за предмета, бывшего перед его носом, он старался рассмотреть какой-то другой, подальше. Это придавало ему рассеянный вид. Я нарочно смотрел иногда: куда пойдет от меня Петров? Где это его так ждут? Но от меня он торопливо отправлялся куда-нибудь в казарму или в кухню, садился там подле кого-нибудь из разговаривающих, слушал внимательно, иногда и сам вступал в разговор даже очень горячо, а потом вдруг как-то оборвет и замолчит. Но говорил ли он, сидел ли молча, а все-таки видно было, что он так только, мимоходом, что где-то там есть дело и там его ждут. Страннее всего то, что дела у него не было никогда, никакого; жил он в совершенной праздности (кроме казенных работ, разумеется). Мастерства никакого не знал, да и денег у него почти никогда не водилось. Но он и об деньгах не много горевал. И об чем он говорил со мной? Разговор его бывал так же странен, как и он сам. Увидит, например, что я хожу где-нибудь один за острогом, и вдруг круто поворотит в мою сторону. Ходил он всегда скоро, поворачивал всегда круто. Придет шагом, а кажется, будто он подбежал.
— Здравствуйте.
— Здравствуйте.
— Я вам не помешал?
— Нет.
— Я вот хотел вас про Наполеона спросить. Он ведь родня тому, что в двенадцатом году был? (Петров был из кантонистов и грамотный).
— Родня.
— Какой же он, говорят, президент?
Спрашивал он всегда скоро, отрывисто, как будто ему надо было как можно поскорее об чем-то узнать. Точно он справку наводил по какому-то очень важному делу, не терпящему ни малейшего отлагательства.
Я объяснил, какой он президент, и прибавил, что, может быть, скоро и императором будет.
— Это как?
Объяснил я, по возможности, и это. Петров внимательно слушал, совершенно понимая и скоро соображая, даже наклонив в мою сторону ухо.
— Гм. А вот я хотел вас, Александр Петрович, спросить: правда ли, говорят, есть обезьяны, у которых руки до пяток, а величиной с самого высокого человека?
— Да, есть такие.
— Какие же это?
Я объяснил, сколько знал, и это.
— А где же они живут?
— В жарких землях. На острове Суматре есть.
— Это в Америке, что ли? Как это говорят, будто там люди вниз головой ходят?
— Не вниз головой. Это вы про антиподов спрашиваете.
Я объяснил, что такое Америка и, по возможности, что такое антиподы. Он слушал так же внимательно, как будто нарочно прибежал для одних антиподов.
— А-а! А вот я прошлого года про графиню Лавальер читал, от адъютанта Арефьев книжку приносил. Так это правда или так только — выдумано? Дюма сочинение.
— Разумеется, выдумано.
— Ну прощайте. Благодарствуйте.
И Петров исчезал, и в сущности никогда почти мы не говорили иначе, как в этом роде.
Я стал о нем справляться. М., узнавши об этом знакомстве, даже предостерегал меня. Он сказал мне, что многие из каторжных вселяли в него ужас, особенно сначала, с первых дней острога, но ни один из них, ни даже Газин, не производил на него такого ужасного впечатления, как этот Петров.
— Это самый решительный, самый бесстрашный из всех каторжных, — говорил М. — Он на все способен; он ни перед чем не остановится, если ему придет каприз. Он и вас зарежет, если ему это вздумается, так, просто зарежет, не поморщится и не раскается. Я даже думаю, он не в полном уме.
Этот отзыв сильно заинтересовал меня. Но М. как-то не мог мне дать ответа, почему ему так казалось. И странное дело: несколько лет сряду я знал потом Петрова, почти каждый день говорил с ним; все время он был ко мне искренно привязан (хоть и решительно не знаю за что) — и во все эти несколько лет, хотя он и жил в остроге благоразумно и ровно ничего не сделал ужасного, но я каждый раз, глядя на него и разговаривая с ним, убеждался, что М. был прав и что Петров, может быть, самый решительный, бесстрашный и не знающий над собою никакого принуждения человек. Почему это так мне казалось — тоже не могу дать отчета.
Замечу, впрочем, что этот Петров был тот самый, который хотел убить плац-майора, когда его позвали к наказанию и когда майор «спасся чудом», как говорили арестанты, — уехав перед самой минутой наказания. В другой раз, еще до каторги, случилось, что полковник ударил его на учении. Вероятно, его и много раз перед этим били; но в этот раз он не захотел снести и заколол своего полковника открыто, среди бела дня, перед развернутым фронтом. Впрочем, я не знаю в подробности всей его истории; он никогда мне ее не рассказывал. Конечно, это были только вспышки, когда натура объявлялась вдруг вся, целиком. Но все-таки они были в нам очень редки. Он действительно был благоразумен и даже смирен. Страсти в нем таились, и даже сильные, жгучие; но горячие угли были постоянно посыпаны золою и тлели тихо. Ни тени фанфаронства или тщеславия я никогда не замечал в нем, как, например, у других. Он ссорился редко, зато и ни с кем особенно не был дружен, разве только с одним Сироткиным, да и то когда тот был ему нужен. Раз, впрочем, я видел, как он серьезно рассердился. Ему что-то не давали, какую-то вещь; чем-то обделили его. Спорил с ним арестант-силач, высокого роста, злой, задира, насмешник и далеко не трус, Василий Антонов, из гражданского разряда. Они уже долго кричали, и я думал, что дело кончится много-много что простыми колотушками, потому что Петров хоть и очень редко, но иногда даже дирался и ругался, как самый последний из каторжных. Но в этот раз случилось не то: Петров вдруг побледнел, губы его затряслись и посинели; дышать стал он трудно. Он встал с места и медленно, очень медленно, своими неслышными, босыми шагами (летом он очень любил ходить босой) подошел к Антонову. Вдруг разом во всей шумной и крикливой казарме все затихли; муху было бы слышно. Все ждали, что будет. Антонов вскочил ему навстречу; на нем лица не было… Я не вынес и вышел из казармы. Я ждал, что еще не успею сойти с крыльца, как услышу крик зарезанного человека. Но дело кончилось ничем и на этот раз: Антонов, не успел еще Петров дойти до него, молча и поскорее выкинул ему спорную вещь. (Дело шло о какой-то самой жалкой ветошке, о каких-то подвертках.) Разумеется, минуты через две Антонов все-таки ругнул его помаленьку, для очистки совести и для приличия, чтоб показать, что не совсем же он так уж струсил. Но на ругань Петров не обратил никакого внимания, даже и не отвечал: дело было не в ругани и выигралось оно в его пользу; он остался очень доволен и взял себе ветошку. Через четверть часа он уже по-прежнему слонялся по острогу с видом совершенного безделья и как будто искал, не заговорят ли где-нибудь о чем-нибудь полюбопытнее, чтоб приткнуть туда и свой нос и послушать. Его, казалось, все занимало, но как-то так случилось, что ко всему он по большей части оставался равнодушен и только так слонялся по острогу без дела, метало его туда и сюда. Его можно было тоже сравнить с работником, с дюжим работником, от которого затрещит работа, но которому покамест не дают работы, и вот он в ожидании сидит и играет с маленькими детьми. Не понимал я тоже, зачем он живет в остроге, зачем не бежит? Он не задумался бы бежать, если б только крепко того захотел. Над такими людьми, как Петров, рассудок властвует только до тех пор, покамест они чего не захотят. Тут уж на всей земле нет препятствия их желанию. А я уверен, что он бежать сумел бы ловко, надул бы всех, по неделе мог бы сидеть без хлеба где-нибудь в лесу или в речном камыше. Но, видно, он еще не набрел на эту мысль и не пожелал этого вполне. Большого рассуждения, особенного здравого смысла я никогда в нем не замечал. Эти люди так и родятся об одной идее, всю жизнь бессознательно двигающей их туда и сюда; так они и мечутся всю жизнь, пока не найдут себе дела вполне по желанию; тут уж им и голова нипочем. Удивлялся я иногда, как это такой человек, который зарезал своего начальника за побои, так беспрекословно ложится у нас под розги. Его иногда и секли, когда он попадался с вином. Как и все каторжные без ремесла, он иногда пускался проносить вино. Но он и под розги ложился как будто с собственного согласия, то есть как будто сознавал, что за дело; в противном случае ни за что бы не лег, хоть убей. Дивился я на него тоже, когда он, несмотря на видимую ко мне привязанность, обкрадывал меня. Находило на него это как-то полосами. Это он украл у меня Библию, которую я ему дал только донести из одного места в другое. Дорога была в несколько шагов, но он успел найти по дороге покупщика, продал ее и тотчас же пропил деньги. Верно, уж очень ему пить захотелось, а уж что очень захотелось, то должно быть исполнено. Вот такой-то режет человека за четвертак, чтоб за этот четвертак выпить косушку, хотя в другое время пропустить мимо с сотнею тысяч. Вечером он мне сам и объявил о покраже, только без всякого смущения и раскаянья, совершенно равнодушно, как о самом обыкновенном приключении. Я было пробовал хорошенько его побранить; да и жалко мне было мою Библию. Он слушал, не раздражаясь, даже очень смирно; соглашался, что Библия очень полезная книга, искренно жалел, что ее у меня теперь нет, но вовсе не сожалел о том, что украл ее; он глядел с такою самоуверенностью, что я тотчас же и перестал браниться. Брань же мою он сносил, вероятно рассудив, что ведь нельзя же без этого, чтоб не изругать его за такой поступок, так уж пусть, дескать, душу отведет, потешится, поругает; но что в сущности все это вздор, такой вздор, что серьезному человеку и говорить-то было бы совестно. Мне кажется, он вообще считал меня каким-то ребенком, чуть не младенцем, не понимающим самых простых вещей на свете. Если, например, я сам с ним об чем-нибудь заговаривал, кроме наук и книжек, то он, правда, мне отвечал, но как будто только из учтивости, ограничиваясь самыми короткими ответами. Часто я задавал себе вопрос: что ему в этих книжных знаниях, о которых он меня обыкновенно расспрашивает? Случалось, что во время этих разговоров я нет-нет да и посмотрю на него сбоку: уж не смеется ли он надо мной? Но нет; обыкновенно он слушал серьезно, внимательно, хотя, впрочем, не очень, и это последнее обстоятельство мне иногда досаждало. Вопросы задавал он точно, определительно, но как-то не очень дивился полученным от меня сведениям и принимал их даже рассеянно… Казалось мне еще, что про меня он решил, не ломая долго головы, что со мною нельзя говорить, как с другими людьми, что, кроме разговора о книжках, я ни о чем не пойму и даже не способен понять, так что и беспокоить меня нечего.
Я уверен, что он даже любил меня, и это меня очень поражало. Считал ли он меня недоросшим, неполным человеком, чувствовал ли ко мне то особого рода сострадание, которое инстинктивно ощущает всякое сильное существо к другому слабейшему, признав меня за такое… не знаю. И хоть все это не мешало ему меня обворовывать, но, я уверен, и обворовывая, он жалел меня. «Эх, дескать! — думал он, может быть, запуская руку в мое добро, — что ж это за человек, который и за добро-то свое постоять не может!» Но за это-то он, кажется, и любил меня. Он мне сам сказал один раз, как-то нечаянно, что я уже «слишком доброй души человек» и «уж так вы просты, так просты, что даже жалость берет. Только вы, Александр Петрович, не примите в обиду, — прибавил он через минуту, — я ведь так от души сказал».
С такими людьми случается иногда в жизни, что они вдруг резко и крупно проявляются и обозначаются в минуты какого-нибудь крутого, поголовного действия или переворота и таким образом разом попадают на свою полную деятельность. Они не люди слова и не могут быть зачинщиками и главными предводителями дела; но они главные исполнители его и первые начинают. Начинают просто, без особых возгласов, но зато первые перескакивают через главное препятствие, не задумавшись, без страха, идя прямо на все ножи, — и все бросаются за ними и идут слепо, идут до самой последней стены, где обыкновенно и кладут свои головы. Я не верю, чтоб Петров хорошо кончил; он в какую-нибудь одну минуту все разом кончит, и если не пропал еще до сих пор, значит, случай его не пришел. Кто знает, впрочем? Может, и доживет до седых волос и преспокойно умрет от старости, без цели слоняясь туда и сюда. Но, мне кажется, М. был прав, говоря, что это был самый решительный человек из всей каторги.

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VIII. Решительные люди. Лучка

Насчет решительных трудно сказать; в каторге, как и везде, их было довольно мало. С виду, пожалуй, и страшный человек; сообразишь, бывало, что про него рассказывают, и даже сторонишься от него. Какое-то безотчетное чувство заставляло меня даже обходить этих людей сначала. Потом я во многом изменился в моем взгляде даже на самых страшных убийц. Иной и не убил, да страшнее другого, который по шести убийствам пришел. Об иных же преступлениях трудно было составить даже самое первоначальное понятие: до того в совершении их было много странного. Я именно потому говорю, что у нас в простонародье иные убийства происходят от самых удивительных причин. Существует, например, и даже очень часто, такой тип убийцы: живет этот человек тихо и смирно. Доля горькая — терпит. Положим, он мужик, дворовый человек, мещанин, солдат. Вдруг что-нибудь у него сорвалось; он не выдержал и пырнул ножом своего врага и притеснителя. Тут-то и начинается странность: на время человек вдруг выскакивает из мерки. Первого он зарезал притеснителя, врага; это хоть и преступно, но понятно; тут повод был; но потом уж он режет и не врагов, режет первого встречного и поперечного, режет для потехи, за грубое слово, за взгляд, для четки, или просто: «Прочь с дороги, не попадайся, я иду!» Точно опьянеет человек, точно в горячечном бреду. Точно, перескочив раз через заветную для него черту, он уже начинает любоваться на то, что нет для него больше ничего святого; точно подмывает его перескочить разом через всякую законность и власть и насладиться самой разнузданной и беспредельной свободой, насладиться этим замиранием сердца от ужаса, которого невозможно, чтоб он сам к себе не чувствовал. Знает он к тому же, что ждет его страшная казнь. Все это может быть похоже на то ощущение, когда человек с высокой башни тянется в глубину, которая под ногами, так что уж сам наконец рад бы броситься вниз головою: поскорей, да дело с концом! И случается это все даже с самыми смирными и неприметными дотоле людьми. Иные из них в этом чаду даже рисуются собой. Чем забитее был он прежде, тем сильнее подмывает его теперь пощеголять, задать страху. Он наслаждается этим страхом, любит самое отвращение, которое возбуждает в других. Он напускает на себя какую-то отчаянность, и такой «отчаянный» иногда сам уж поскорее ждет наказания, ждет, чтоб порешили его, потому что самому становится наконец тяжело носить на себе эту напускную отчаянность. Любопытно, что большею частью все это настроение, весь этот напуск, продолжается ровно вплоть до эшафота, а потом как отрезало: точно и в самом деле этот срок какой-то форменный, как будто назначенный заранее определенными для того правилами. Тут человек вдруг смиряется, стушевывается, в тряпку какую-то обращается. На эшафоте нюнит — просит у народа прощения. Приходит в острог, и смотришь: такой слюнявый, такой сопливый, забитый даже, так что даже удивляешься на него: «Да неужели это тот самый, который зарезал пять-шесть человек?»
Конечно, иные в остроге не сразу смиряются. Все еще сохраняется какой-то форс, какая-то хвастливость: вот, дескать, я ведь не то, что вы думаете; я «по шести душам». Но кончает тем, что все-таки смиряется. Иногда только потешит себя, вспоминая свой удалой размах, свой кутеж, бывший раз в его жизни, когда он был «отчаянным», и очень любит, если только найдет простячка, с приличной важностью перед ним поломаться, похвастаться и рассказать ему свои подвиги, не показывая, впрочем, и вида, что ему самому рассказать хочется. Вот, дескать, какой я был человек!
И с какими утонченностями наблюдается эта самолюбивая осторожность, как лениво небрежен бывает иногда такой рассказ! Какое изученное фатство проявляется в тоне, в каждом словечке рассказчика. И где этот народ выучился!
Раз в эти первые дни, в один длинный вечер, праздно и тоскливо лежа на нарах, я прослушал один из таких рассказов и по неопытности принял рассказчика за какого-то колоссального, страшного злодея, за неслыханный железный характер, тогда как в это же время чуть не подшучивал над Петровым. Темой рассказа было, как он, Лука Кузьмич, не для чего иного, как единственно для одного своего удовольствия, уложил одного майора. Этот Лука Кузьмич был тот самый маленький, тоненький, с востреньким носиком, молоденький арестантик нашей казармы, из хохлов, о котором уже как-то и упоминал я. Был он в сущности русский, а только родился на юге, кажется, дворовым человеком. В нем действительно было что-то вострое, заносчивое: «мала птичка, да ноготок востер». Но арестанты инстинктивно раскусывают человека. Его очень немного уважали, или, как говорят в каторге, «ему очень немного уважали». Он был ужасно самолюбив. Сидел он в этот вечер на нарах и шил рубашку. Шитье белья было его ремеслом. Подле него сидел тупой и ограниченный парень, но добрый и ласковый, плотный и высокий, его сосед по нарам, арестант Кобылин. Лучка, по соседству, часто с ним ссорился и вообще обращался свысока, насмешливо и деспотически, чего Кобылин отчасти и не замечал по своему простодушию. Он вязал шерстяной чулок и равнодушно слушал Лучку. Тот рассказывал довольно громко и явственно. Ему хотелось, чтобы все его слушали, хотя, напротив, и старался делать вид, что рассказывает одному Кобылину.
— Это, брат, пересылали меня из нашего места, — начал он, ковыряя иглой, — в Ч-в, по бродяжеству значит.
— Это когда же, давно было? — спросил Кобылин.
— А вот горох поспеет — другой год пойдет. Ну, как пришли в К-в — и посадили меня туда на малое время в острог. Смотрю: сидят со мной человек двенадцать, все хохлов, высокие, здоровые, дюжие, точно быки. Да смирные такие: еда плохая, вертит ими ихний майор, как его милости завгодно (Лучка нарочно перековеркал слово). Сижу день, сижу другой; вижу — трус народ. «Что ж вы, говорю, такому дураку поблажаете?» — «А поди-кась сам с ним поговори! » — даже ухмыляются на меня. Молчу я.
— И пресмешной же тут был один хохол, братцы, — прибавил он вдруг, бросая Кобылина и обращаясь ко всем вообще. — Рассказывал, как его в суде порешили и как он с судом разговаривал, а сам заливается-плачет; дети, говорит, у него остались, жена. Сам матерой такой, седой, толстый. «Я ему, говорит, бачу: ни! А вин, бисов сын, все пишет, все пишет. Ну, бачу соби, да щоб ты здох, а я б подывився! А вин все пишет, все пишет, да як писне!.. Тут и пропала моя голова!» Дай-ка, Вася, ниточку; гнилые каторжные.
— Базарные, — отвечал Вася, подавая нитку.
— Наши швальные лучше. Анамеднись Невалида посылали, и у какой он там подлой бабы берет? — продолжал Лучка, вдевая на свет нитку.
— У кумы, значит.
— Значит, у кумы.
— Так что же, как же майор-то? — спросил совершенно забытый Кобылин.
Того только и было нужно Лучке. Однако ж он не сейчас продолжал свой рассказ, даже как будто и внимания не удостоил Кобылина. Спокойно расправил нитки, спокойно и лениво передернул под собой ноги и наконец-то уж заговорил:
— Взбудоражил наконец я моих хохлов, потребовали майора. А я еще с утра у соседа жулик[2] спросил, взял да и спрятал, значит, на случай. Рассвирепел майор. Едет. Ну, говорю, не трусить, хохлы! А у них уж душа в пятки ушла; так и трясутся. Вбежал майор; пьяный. «Кто здесь! Как здесь! Я царь, я и бог!»
— Как сказал он: «Я царь, я и бог», — я и выдвинулся, — продолжал Лучка, — нож у меня в рукаве.
«Нет, говорю, ваше высокоблагородие, — а сам помаленьку все ближе да ближе, — нет, уж это как же может быть, говорю, ваше высокоблагородие, чтобы вы были у нас царь да и бог?»
«А, так это ты, так это ты? — закричал майор. — Бунтовщик!»
«Нет, говорю (а сам все ближе да ближе), нет, говорю, ваше высокоблагородие, как, может, известно и ведомо вам самим, бог наш, всемогущий и вездесущий, един есть, говорю. И царь наш един, над всеми нами самим богом поставленный. Он, ваше высокоблагородие, говорю, монарх. А вы, говорю, ваше высокоблагородие, еще только майор — начальник наш, ваше высокоблагородие, царскою милостью, говорю, и своими заслугами».
«Как-как-как-как!» — так и закудахтал, говорить не может, захлебывается. Удивился уж очень.
«Да, вот так», — говорю; да как кинусь на него вдруг да в самый живот ему так-таки весь нож и впустил. Ловко пришлось. Покатился да только ногами задрыгал. Я нож бросил.
«Смотрите, говорю, хохлы, подымайте его теперь!»
Здесь уже я сделаю одно отступление. К несчастью, такие выражения: «Я царь, я и бог» — и много других подобных этому были в немалом употреблении в старину между многими из командиров. Надо, впрочем, признаться, что таких командиров остается уже немного, а может быть, и совсем перевелись. Замечу тоже, что особенно щеголяли и любили щеголять такими выражениями бо’льшею частью командиры, сами вышедшие из нижних чинов. Офицерский чин как будто переворачивает всю их внутренность, а вместе и голову. Долго кряхтя под лямкой и перейдя все степени подчиненности, они вдруг видят себя офицерами, командирами, благородными и с непривычки и первого упоения преувеличивают понятие о своем могуществе и значении; разумеется, только относительно подчиненных им нижних чинов. Перед высшими же они по-прежнему в подобострастии, совершенно уже не нужном и даже противном для многих начальников. Иные подобострастники даже с особенным умилением спешат заявить перед своими высшими командирами, что ведь они и сами из нижних чинов, хоть и офицеры, и «свое место завсегда помнят». Но относительно нижних чинов они становились чуть не неограниченными повелителями. Конечно, теперь вряд ли уж есть такие и вряд ли найдется такой, чтоб прокричал: «Я царь, я и бог». Но, несмотря на это, я все-таки замечу, что ничто так не раздражает арестантов, да и вообще всех нижних чинов, как вот этакие выражения начальников. Эта нахальность самовозвеличения, это преувеличенное мнение о своей безнаказанности рождает ненависть в самом покорном человеке и выводит его из последнего терпения. К счастью, все это дело почти прошлое, даже и в старину-то строго преследовалось начальством. Несколько примеров тому и я знаю.
Да и вообще раздражает нижний чин всякая свысока небрежность, всякая брезгливость в обращении с ними. Иные думают, например, что если хорошо кормить, хорошо содержать арестанта, все исполнять по закону, так и дело с концом. Это тоже заблуждение. Всякий, кто бы он ни был и как бы он ни был унижен, хоть и инстинктивно, хоть бессознательно, а все-таки требует уважения к своему человеческому достоинству. Арестант сам знает, что он арестант, отверженец, и знает свое место перед начальником; но никакими клеймами, никакими кандалами не заставишь забыть его, что он человек. А так как он действительно человек, то, следственно, и надо с ним обращаться по-человечески. Боже мой! да человеческое обращение может очеловечить даже такого, на котором давно уже потускнул образ божий. С этими-то «несчастными» и надо обращаться наиболее по-человечески. Это спасение и радость их. Я встречал таких добрых, благородных командиров. Я видел действие, которое производили они на этих униженных. Несколько ласковых слов — и арестанты чуть не воскресали нравственно. Они, как дети, радовались и, как дети, начинали любить. Замечу еще одну странность: сами арестанты не любят слишком фамильярного и слишком уж добродушного с собой обхождения начальников. Ему хочется уважать начальника, а тут он как-то перестает его уважать. Арестанту любо, например, чтоб у начальника его были ордена, чтоб он был видный собою, в милости у какого-нибудь высокого начальника, чтоб был и строг, и важен, и справедлив, и достоинство свое соблюдал. Таких арестанты больше любят: значит, и свое достоинство сохранил, и их не обидел, стало быть, и все хорошо и красиво.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
— Уж и жарили ж тебя, должно быть, за это? — спокойно заметил Кобылин.
— Гм. Жарили-то, брат, оно правда, что жарили. Алей, дай-ка ножницы! Чтой-то, братцы, сегодня майдана нет?
— Даве пропились, — заметил Вася. — Если б не пропились, так оно, пожалуй, и было бы.
— Если б! За если б и в Москве сто рублей дают, — заметил Лучка.
— А сколько тебе, Лучка, дали за все про все? — заговорил опять Кобылин.
— Дали, друг любезный, сто пять. А что скажу, братцы, ведь чуть меня не убили, — подхватил Лучка, опять бросая Кобылина. — Вот как вышли мне эти сто пять, повезли меня в полном параде. А никогда-то до сего я еще плетей не отведывал. Народу привалило видимо-невидимо, весь город сбежался: разбойника наказывать будут, убивец, значит. Уж и как глуп этот народ, как и не знаю как и сказать. Тимошка[3] раздел, положил, кричит: «Поддержись, ожгу!» — ждут: что будет? Как он мне влепит раз, — хотел было я крикнуть, раскрыл было рот, а крику-то во мне и нет. Голос, значит, остановился. Как влепит два, ну, веришь иль не веришь, я уж и не слыхал, как два просчитали. А как очнулся, слышу, считают: семнадцатый. Так меня, братцы, раза четыре потом с кобылы снимали, по получасу отдыхал: водой обливали. Гляжу на всех выпуча глаза да и думаю: «Тут же помру…»
— А и не помер? — наивно спросил Кобылин.
Лучка обвел его в высочайшей степени презрительным взглядом; раздался хохот.
— Балясина, как есть!
— На чердаке нездорово, — заметил Лучка, точно раскаиваясь, что мог заговорить с таким человеком.
— Умом, значит, решен, — скрепил Вася.
Лучка хоть и убил шесть человек, но в остроге его никогда и никто не боялся, несмотря на то что, может быть, он душевно желал прослыть страшным человеком…
Примечания
1. ↑ Впервые — в журнале «Время», 1861, том V, № 10, отд. I, с. 473—496.
2. ↑ Нож (Прим. автора).
3. ↑ Палач (Прим. автора).

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IX. Исай Фомич. Баня. Рассказ Баклушина

Наступал праздник рождества Христова. Арестанты ожидали его с какою-то торжественностью, и, глядя на них, я тоже стал ожидать чего-то необыкновенного. Дня за четыре до праздника повели нас в баню. В мое время, особенно в первые мои годы, арестантов редко водили в баню. Все обрадовались и начали собираться. Назначено было идти после обеда, и в эти послеобеда уже не было работ. Всех больше радовался и суетился из нашей казармы Исай Фомич Бумштейн, каторжный из евреев, о котором уже я упоминал в четвертой главе моего рассказа. Он любил париться до отупения, до бесчувственности, и каждый раз, когда случается мне теперь, перебирая старые воспоминания, вспоминать и о нашей каторжной бане (которая стоит того, чтоб об ней не забыть), то на первый план картины тотчас же выступает передо мною лицо блаженнейшего и незабвенного Исая Фомича, товарища моей каторги и сожителя по казарме. Господи, что за уморительный и смешной был этот человек! Я уже сказал несколько слов про его фигурку: лет пятидесяти, тщедушный, сморщенный, с ужаснейшими клеймами на щеках и на лбу, худощавый, слабосильный, с белым цыплячьим телом. В выражении лица его виднелось беспрерывное, ничем непоколебимое самодовольство и даже блаженство. Кажется, он ничуть не сожалел, что попал в каторгу. Так как он был ювелир, а ювелира в городе не было, то работал беспрерывно по господам и по начальству города одну ювелирскую работу. Ему все-таки хоть сколько-нибудь, да платили. Он не нуждался, жил даже богато, но откладывал деньги и давал под заклад на проценты всей каторге. У него был свой самовар, хороший тюфяк, чашки, весь обеденный прибор. Городские евреи не оставляли его своим знакомством и покровительством. По субботам он ходил под конвоем в свою городскую молельную (что дозволяется законами) и жил совершенно припеваючи, с нетерпением, впрочем, ожидая выжить свой двенадцатилетний срок, чтоб «зениться». В нем была самая комическая смесь наивности, глупости, хитрости, дерзости, простодушия, робости, хвастливости и нахальства. Мне очень странно было, что каторжные вовсе не смеялись над ним, разве только подшучивали для забавы. Исай Фомич, очевидно, служил всем для развлечения и всегдашней потехи. «Он у нас один, не троньте Исая Фомича», — говорили арестанты, и Исай Фомич хотя и понимал, в чем дело, но, видимо, гордился своим значением, что очень тешило арестантов. Он уморительнейшим образом прибыл в каторгу (еще до меня, но мне рассказывали). Вдруг однажды, перед вечером, в шабашное время, распространился в остроге слух, что привели жидка и бреют в кордегардии и что он сейчас войдет. Из евреев тогда в каторге еще ни одного не было. Арестанты ждали его с нетерпением и тотчас же обступили, как он вошел в ворота. Острожный унтер-офицер провел его в гражданскую казарму и указал ему место на нарах. В руках у Исая Фомича был его мешок с выданными ему казенными вещами и своими собственными. Он положил мешок, взмостился на нары и уселся, подобрав под себя ноги, не смея ни на кого поднять глаза. Кругом него раздавался смех и острожные шуточки, имевшие в виду еврейское его происхождение. Вдруг сквозь толпу протеснился молодой арестант, неся в руках самые старые, грязные и разорванные летние свои шаровары, с придачею казенных подверток. Он присел подле Исай Фомича и ударил его по плечу.
— Ну, друг любезный, я тебя здесь уже шестой год поджидаю. Вот смотри, много ли дашь?
И он разложил перед ним принесенные лохмотья.
Исай Фомич, который при входе в острог сробел до того, что даже глаза не смел поднять на эту толпу насмешливых, изуродованных и страшных лиц, плотно обступивших его кругом, и от робости еще не успел сказать слова, увидев заклад, вдруг встрепенулся и бойко начал перебирать пальцами лохмотья. Даже прикинул на свет. Все ждали, что он скажет.
— Что ж, рубля-то серебром небось не дашь? А ведь стоило бы! — продолжал закладчик, подмигивая Исаю Фомичу.
— Рубля серебром нельзя, а семь копеек можно.
И вот первые слова, произнесенные Исаем Фомичем в остроге. Все так и покатились со смеху.
— Семь! Ну давай хоть семь; твое счастье! Смотри ж, береги заклад; головой мне за него отвечаешь.
— Проценту три копейки, будет десять копеек, — отрывисто и дрожащим голосом продолжал жидок, опуская руку в карман за деньгами и боязливо поглядывая на арестантов. Он и трусил-то ужасно, и дело-то ему хотелось обделать.
— В год, что ли, три копейки проценту?
— Нет, не в год, а в месяц.
— Тугонек же ты, жид. А как тебя величать?
— Исай Фомиць.
— Ну, Исай Фомич, далеко ты у нас пойдешь! Прощай.
Исай Фомич еще раз осмотрел заклад, сложил и бережно сунул его в свой мешок при продолжавшемся хохоте арестантов.
Его действительно все как будто даже любили и никто не обижал, хотя почти все были ему должны. Сам он был незлобив, как курица, и, видя всеобщее расположение к себе, даже куражился, но с таким простодушным комизмом, что ему тотчас же это прощалось. Лучка, знавший на своем веку много жидков, часто дразнил его, и вовсе не из злобы, а так, для забавы, точно так же, как забавляются с собачкой, попугаем, учеными зверьками и проч. Исай Фомич очень хорошо это знал, нисколько не обижался и преловко отшучивался.
— Эй, жид, приколочу!
— Ты меня один раз ударишь, а я тебя десять, — молодцевато отвечает Исай Фомич.
— Парх проклятый!
— Нехай буде парх.
— Жид пархатый!
— Нехай буде такочки. Хоть пархатый, да богатый; гроши ма.
— Христа продал.
— Нехай буде такочки.
— Славно, Исай Фомич, молодец! Не троньте его, он у нас один! — кричат с хохотом арестанты.
— Эй, жид, хватишь кнута, в Сибирь пойдешь.
— Да я и так в Сибири.
— Еще дальше ушлют.
— А что там пан бог есть?
— Да есть-то есть.
— Ну нехай; был бы пан бог да гр`оши, так везде хорошо будет.
— Молодец, Исай Фомич, видно, что молодец! — кричат кругом, а Исай Фомич хоть и видит, что над ним же смеются, но бодрится; всеобщие похвалы приносят ему видимое удовольствие, и он на всю казарму начинает тоненьким дискантиком петь: «Ля-ля-ля-ля-ля!» — какой-то нелепый и смешной мотив, единственную песню, без слов, которую он пел в продолжение всей каторги. Потом, познакомившись ближе со мной, он уверял меня под клятвою, что это та самая песня и именно тот самый мотив, который пели все шестьсот тысяч евреев, от мала до велика, переходя через Чермное море, и что каждому еврею заповедано петь этот мотив в минуту торжества и победы над врагами.
Накануне каждой субботы, в пятницу вечером, в нашу казарму нарочно ходили из других казарм посмотреть, как Исай Фомич будет справлять свой шабаш. Исай Фомич был до того невинно хвастлив и тщеславен, что это общее любопытство доставляло ему тоже удовольствие. Он с педантскою и выделанною важностью накрывал в уголку свой крошечный столик, развертывал книгу, зажигал две свечки и, бормоча какие-то сокровенные слова, начинал облачаться в свою ризу (рижу, как он выговаривал). Это была пестрая накидка из шерстяной материи, которую он тщательно хранил в своем сундуке. На обе руки он навязывал наручники, а на голове, на самом лбу, прикреплял перевязкой какой-то деревянный ящичек, так что казалось, изо лба Исая Фомича выходит какой-то смешной рог. Затем начиналась молитва. Читал он ее нараспев, кричал, оплевывался, оборачивался кругом, делал дикие и смешные жесты. Конечно, все это было предписано обрядами молитвы, и в этом ничего не было смешного и странного, но смешно было то, что Исай Фомич как бы нарочно рисовался перед нами и щеголял своими обрядами. То вдруг закроет руками голову и начинает читать навзрыд. Рыданья усиливаются, и он в изнеможении и чуть не в с воем склоняет на книгу свою голову, увенчанную ковчегом; но вдруг, среди самых сильных рыданий, он начинает хохотать и причитывать нараспев каким-то умиленно торжественным, каким-то расслабленным от избытка счастья голосом. «Ишь его разбирает! » — говорят, бывало, арестанты. Я спрашивал однажды Исая Фомича: что значат эти рыдания и потом вдруг эти торжественные переходы к счастью и блаженству? Исай Фомич ужасно любил эти расспросы от меня. Он немедленно объяснил мне, что плач и рыдания означают мысль о потере Иерусалима и что закон предписывает при этой мысли как можно сильнее рыдать и бить себя в грудь. Но что в минуту самых сильных рыданий он, Исай Фомич, должен вдруг, как бы невзначай, вспомнить (это вдруг тоже предписано законом), что есть пророчество о возвращении евреев в Иерусалим. Тут он должен немедленно разразиться радостью, песнями, хохотом и проговаривать молитвы так, чтобы самым голосом выразить как можно более счастья, а лицом как можно больше торжественности и благородства. Этот переход вдруг и непременная обязанность этого перехода чрезвычайно нравились Исаю Фомичу: он видел в этом какой-то особенный, прехитрый кунштик и с хвастливым видом передавал мне это замысловатое правило закона. Раз, во время самого разгара молитвы, в комнату вошел плац-майор в сопровождении караульного офицера и конвойных. Все арестанты вытянулись в струнку у своих нар, один только Исай Фомич еще более начал кричать и кривляться. Он знал, что молитва дозволена, прерывать ее нельзя было, и, крича перед майором, не рисковал, разумеется, ничем. Но ему чрезвычайно приятно было поломаться перед майором и порисоваться перед нами. Майор подошел к нему на один шаг расстояния: Исай Фомич оборотился задом к своему столику и прямо в лицо майору начал читать нараспев свое торжественное пророчество, размахивая руками. Так как ему предписывалось и в эту минуту выражать в своем лице чрезвычайно много счастья и благородства, то он и сделал это немедленно, как-то особенно сощурив глаза, смеясь и кивая на майора головой. Майор удивился; но наконец фыркнул от смеха, назвал его тут же в глаза дураком и пошел прочь, а Исай Фомич еще более усилил свои крики. Через час, когда уж он ужинал, я спросил его: а что если б плац-майор, по глупости своей, на вас рассердился?
— Какой плац-майор?
— Как какой? Да разве вы не видали?
— Нет.
— Да ведь он стоял на один аршин перед вами, прямо перед вашим лицом.
Но Исай Фомич серьезнейшим образом начал уверять меня, что он не видал решительно никакого майора, что в это время, при этих молитвах, он впадает в какой-то экстаз, так что ничего уж не видит и не слышит, что кругом его происходит.
Как теперь вижу Исая Фомича, когда он в субботу слоняется, бывало, без дела по всему острогу, всеми силами стараясь ничего не делать, как это предписано в субботу по закону. Какие невозможные анекдоты рассказывал он мне каждый раз, когда приходил из своей молельни; какие ни на что не похожие известия и слухи из Петербурга приносил мне, уверяя, что получил их от своих жидков, а те из первых рук.
Но я слишком уж много разговорился об Исае Фомиче.
Во всем городе были только две публичные бани. Первая, которую содержал один еврей, была номерная, с платою по пятидесяти копеек за номер и устроенная для лиц высокого полета. Другая же баня была по преимуществу простонародная, ветхая, грязная, тесная, и вот в эту-то баню и повели наш острог. Было морозно и солнечно; арестанты радовались уже тому, что выйдут из крепости и посмотрят на город. Шутки, смех не умолкали дорогою. Целый взвод солдат провожал нас с заряженными ружьями, на диво всему городу. В бане тотчас же разделили нас на две смены: вторая дожидалась в холодном предбаннике, покамест первая смена мылась, что необходимо было сделать за теснотою бани. Но, несмотря на то, баня была до того тесна, что трудно было представить, как и половина-то наших могла в ней уместиться. Но Петров не отставал от меня; он сам без моего приглашения подскочил помогать мне и даже предложил меня вымыть. Вместе с Петровым вызвался прислуживать мне и Баклушин, арестант из особого отделения, которого звали у нас пионером и о котором как-то я поминал как о веселейшем и милейшем из арестантов, каким он и был в самом деле. Мы с ним уже слегка познакомились. Петров помог мне даже раздеваться, потому что по непривычке я раздевался долго, а в предбаннике было холодно, чуть ли не так же, как на дворе. Кстати: арестанту очень трудно раздеваться, если он еще не совсем научился. Во-первых, нужно уметь скоро расшнуровывать подкандальники. Эти подкандальники делаются из кожи, вершка в четыре длиною, и надеваются на белье, прямо под железное кольцо, охватывающее ногу. Пара подкандальников стоит не менее шести гривен серебром, а между тем каждый арестант заводит их себе на свой счет, разумеется, потому что без подкандальников невозможно ходить. Кандальное кольцо не плотно охватывает ногу, и между кольцом и ногой может пройти палец; таким образом, железо бьет по ноге, трет ее, и в один день арестант без подкандальников успел бы натереть себе раны. Но снять подкандальники еще не трудно. Труднее научиться ловко снимать из-под кандалов белье. Это целый фокус. Сняв нижнее белье, положим, хоть с левой ноги, нужно пропустить его сначала между ногой и кандальным кольцом; потом, освободив ногу, продеть это белье назад сквозь то же кольцо; потом все, уже снятое с левой ноги, продернуть сквозь кольцо на правой ноге; а затем все продетое сквозь первое кольцо опять к себе обратно. Такая же история и с надеванием нового белья. Новичку даже трудно и догадаться, как это делается; первый выучил нас всему этому арестант Коренев, в Тобольске, бывший атаман разбойников, просидевший пять лет на цепи. Но арестанты привыкли и обходятся без малейшего затруднения. Я дал Петрову несколько копеек, чтоб запастись мылом и мочалкой; арестантам выдавалось, правда, и казенное мыло, на каждого по кусочку, величиною с двукопеечник, а толщиною с ломтик сыра, подаваемого по вечерам на закуску у «среднего рода» людей. Мыло продавалось тут же, в предбаннике, вместе с сбитнем, калачами и горячей водой. На каждого арестанта отпускалось, по условию с хозяином бани, только по шайке горячей воды; кто же хотел обмыться почище, тот за грош мог получить и другую шайку, которая и передавалась в самую баню через особо устроенное для того окошко из предбанника. Раздев, Петров повел меня даже под руку, заметив, что мне очень трудно ступать в кандалах. «Вы их кверху потяните, на икры, — приговаривал он, поддерживая меня, точно дядька, — а вот тут осторожнее, тут порог». Мне даже несколько совестно было; хотелось уверить Петрова, что я и один умею пройти; но он этому бы не поверил. Он обращался со мной решительно как с ребенком, несовершеннолетним и неумелым, которому всякий обязан помочь. Петров был отнюдь не слуга, прежде всего не слуга; разобидь я его, он бы знал, как со мной поступить. Деньги за услуги я ему вовсе не обещал, да он и сам не просил. Что ж побуждало его так ходить за мной?
Когда мы растворили дверь в самую баню, я думал, что мы вошли в ад. Представьте себе комнату шагов в двенадцать длиною и такой же ширины, в которую набилось, может быть, до ста человек разом, и уж по крайней мере, наверно, восемьдесят, потому что арестанты разделены были всего на две смены, а всех нас пришло в баню до двухсот человек. Пар, застилающий глаза, копоть, грязь, теснота до такой степени, что негде поставить ногу. Я испугался и хотел вернуться назад, но Петров тотчас же ободрил меня. Кое-как, с величайшими затруднениями, протеснились мы до лавок через головы рассевшихся на полу людей, прося их нагнуться, чтоб нам можно было пройти. Но места на лавках все были заняты. Петров объявил мне, что надо купить место, и тотчас же вступил в торг с арестантом, поместившимся у окошка. За копейку тот уступил свое место, немедленно получил от Петрова деньги, которые тот нес, зажав в кулаке, предусмотрительно взяв их с собою в баню, и тотчас же юркнул под лавку прямо под мое место, где было темно, грязно и где липкая сырость наросла везде чуть не на полпальца. Но места и под лавками были все заняты; там тоже копошился народ. На всем полу не было местечка в ладонь, где бы не сидели скрючившись арестанты, плескаясь из своих шаек. Другие стояли между них торчком и, держа в руках свои шайки, мылись стоя; грязная вода стекала с них прямо на бритые головы сидевших внизу. На полке и на всех уступах, ведущих к нему, сидели, съежившись и скрючившись, мывшиеся. Но мылись мало. Простолюдины мало моются горячей водой и мылом; они только страшно парятся и потом обливаются холодной водой — вот и вся баня. Веников пятьдесят на полке подымалось и опускалось разом; все хлестались до опьянения. Пару поддавали поминутно. Это был уж не жар; это было пекло. Все это орало и гоготало, при звуке ста цепей, волочившихся по полу… Иные, желая пройти, запутывались в чужих цепях и сами задевали по головам сидевших ниже, падали, ругались и увлекали за собой задетых. Грязь лилась со всех сторон. Все были в каком-то опьянелом, в каком-то возбужденном состоянии духа; раздавались визги и крики. У окошка в предбаннике, откуда подавали воду, шла ругань, теснота, целая свалка. Полученная горячая вода расплескивалась на головы сидевших на полу, прежде чем ее доносили до места. Нет-нет, а в окно или в притворенную дверь выглянет усатое лицо солдата, с ружьем в руке, высматривающего, нет ли беспорядков. Обритые головы и распаренные докрасна тела арестантов казались еще уродливее. На распаренной спине обыкновенно ярко выступают рубцы от полученных когда-то ударов плетей и палок, так что теперь все эти спины казались вновь израненными. Страшные рубцы! У меня мороз прошел по коже, смотря на них. Поддадут — и пар застелет густым, горячим облаком всю баню; все загогочет, закричит. Из облака пара замелькают избитые спины, бритые головы, скрюченные руки, ноги; а в довершение Исай Фомич гогочет во все горло на самом высоком полке. Он парится до беспамятства, но, кажется, никакой жар не может насытить его; за копейку он нанимает парильщика, но тот наконец не выдерживает, бросает веник и бежит отливаться холодной водой. Исай Фомич не унывает и нанимает другого, третьего: он уже решается для такого случая не смотреть на издержки и сменяет до пяти парильщиков. «Здоров париться, молодец Исай Фомич!» — кричат ему снизу арестанты. Исай Фомич сам чувствует, что в эту минуту он выше всех и заткнул всех их за пояс; он торжествует и резким, сумасшедшим голосом выкрикивает свою арию: ля-ля-ля-ля-ля, покрывающую все голоса. Мне пришло на ум, что если все мы вместе будем когда-нибудь в пекле, то оно очень будет похоже на это место. Я не утерпел, чтоб не сообщить эту догадку Петрову; он только поглядел кругом и промолчал.
Я было хотел и ему купить место подле меня; но он уселся у моих ног и объявил, что ему очень ловко. Баклушин между тем покупал нам воду и подносил ее по мере надобности. Петров объявил, что вымоет меня с ног до головы, так что «будете совсем чистенькие», и усиленно звал меня париться. Париться я не рискнул. Петров вытер меня всего мылом. «А теперь я вам ножки вымою», — прибавил он в заключение. Я было хотел отвечать, что могу вымыть и сам, но уж не противоречил ему и совершено отдался в его волю. В уменьшительном «ножки» решительно не звучало ни одной нотки рабской; просто-запросто Петров не мог назвать моих ног ногами, вероятно, потому, что у других, у настоящих людей, — ноги, а у меня еще только ножки.
Вымыв меня, он с такими же церемониями, то есть с поддержками и с предостережениями на каждом шагу, точно я был фарфоровый, доставил меня в предбанник и помог надеть белье и, уже когда совершенно кончил со мной, бросился назад в баню, париться.
Когда мы пришли домой, я предложил ему стакан чаю. От чаю он не отказался, выпил и поблагодарил. Мне пришло в голову раскошелиться и попотчевать его косушкой. Косушка нашлась и в нашей казарме. Петров был отменно доволен, выпил, крякнул и, заметив мне, что я совершенно оживил его, поспешно отправился в кухню, как будто там без него чего-то не могли решить. Вместо него ко мне явился другой собеседник, Баклушин (пионер), которого я еще в бане тоже позвал к себе на чай.
Я не знаю характера милее Баклушина. Правда, он не давал спуску другим, он даже часто ссорился, не любил, чтоб вмешивались в его дела, — одним словом, умел за себя постоять. Но он ссорился ненадолго, и, кажется, все у нас его любили. Куда он ни входил, все встречали его с удовольствием. Его знали даже в городе как забавнейшего человека в мире и никогда не теряющего своей веселости. Это был высокий парень, лет тридцати, с молодцеватым и простодушным лицом, довольно красивым, и с бородавкой. Это лицо он коверкал иногда так уморительно, представляя встречных и поперечных, что окружавшие его не могли не хохотать. Он был тоже из шутников; но не давал потачки нашим брезгливым ненавистникам смеха, так что его уж никто не ругал за то, что он «пустой и бесполезный» человек. Он был полон огня и жизни. Познакомился он со мной еще с первых дней и объявил мне, что он из кантонистов, служил потом в пионерах и был даже замечен и любим некоторыми высокими лицами, чем, по старой памяти, очень гордился. Меня он тотчас же стал расспрашивать о Петербурге. Он даже и книжки читал. Придя ко мне на чай, он сначала рассмешил всю казарму, рассказав, как поручик Ш. отделал утром нашего плац-майора, и, сев подле меня, с довольным видом объявил мне, что, кажется, театр состоится. В остроге затевался театр на праздниках. Объявились актеры, устраивались помаленьку декорации. Некоторые из города обещались дать свои платья для актерских ролей, даже для женских; даже, через посредство одного денщика, надеялись достать офицерский костюм с эксельбантами. Только бы плац-майор не вздумал запретить, как прошлого года. Но прошлого года на рождестве майор был не в духе: где-то проигрался, да и в остроге к тому же нашалили, вот он и запретил со зла, а теперь, может быть, не захочет стеснять. Одним словом, Баклушин был в возбужденном состоянии. Видно было, что он один из главных зачинщиков театра, и я тогда же дал себе слово непременно побывать на этом представлении. Простодушная радость Баклушина об удаче театра была мне по сердцу. Слово за слово, и мы разговорились. Между прочим, он сказал мне, что не все служил в Петербурге; что он там в чем-то провинился и его послали в Р., впрочем, унтер-офицером, в гарнизонный батальон.
— Вот оттуда-то меня уж и прислали сюда, — заметил Баклушин.
— Да за что же это? — спросил я его.
— За что? Как вы думаете, Александр Петрович, за что? Ведь за то, что влюбился!
— Ну, за это еще не пришлют сюда, — возразил я смеясь.
— Правда, — прибавил Баклушин, — правда, что я при этом же деле одного тамошнего немца из пистолета подстрелил. Да ведь стоит ли ссылать из-за немца, посудите сами!
— Однако ж как же это? Расскажите, это любопытно.
— Пресмешная история, Александр Петрович.
— Так тем лучше. Рассказывайте.
— Аль рассказать? Ну, так уж слушайте…
Я выслушал хоть не совсем смешную, но зато довольно странную историю одного убийства…
— Дело это было вот как, — начал Баклушин. — Как послали это меня в Р., вижу — город хороший, большой, только немцев много. Ну, я, разумеется, еще молодой человек, у начальства на хорошем счету, хожу себе шапку набекрень, время провожу, значит. Немкам подмигиваю. И понравилась тут мне одна немочка, Луиза. Они обе были прачки, для самого ни на есть чистого белья, она и ее тетка. Тетка-то старая, фуфырная такая, а живут зажиточно. Я сначала мимо окон концы давал, а потом и настоящую дружбу свел. Луиза и по-русски говорила хорошо, а только так, как будто картавила, — этакая то есть милушка, что я и не встречал еще такой никогда. Я было сначала того да сего, а она мне: «Нет, этого не моги, Саша, потому я хочу всю невинность свою сохранить, чтоб тебе же достойной женой быть», и только ласкается, смеется таково звонко… да чистенькая такая была, я уж и не видал таких, кроме нее. Сама же взманила меня жениться. Ну как не жениться, подумайте! Вот я готовлюсь с просьбой идти к подполковнику… Вдруг смотрю — Луиза раз на свидание не вышла, другой не пришла, на третий не бывала… Я письмо отправляю; на письмо нет ответу. Что ж это, думаю? То есть кабы обманывала она меня, так ухитрилась бы, и на письмо бы отвечала, и на свидание бы приходила. А она и солгать-то не сумела; так просто отрезала. Это тетка, думаю. К тетке я ходить не смел; она хоть и знала, а мы все-таки под видом делали, то есть тихими стопами. Я как угорелый хожу, написал последнее письмо и говорю: «Коль не придешь, сам к тетке приду». Испугалась, пришла. Плачет; говорит, один немец, Шульц, дальний их родственник, часовщик, богатый и уж пожилой, изъявил желание на ней жениться, — «чтоб, говорит, и меня осчастливить, и самому на старости без жены не остаться; да и любит он меня, говорит, и давно уж намерение это держал, да все молчал, собирался. Так вот, говорит, Саша, он богатый, и это для меня счастье; так неужели ж ты меня моего счастья хочешь лишить?» Я смотрю: она плачет, меня обнимает… Эх, думаю, ведь резон же она говорит! Ну, что толку за солдата выйти, хотя б я и унтер? «Ну, говорю, Луиза, прощай, бог с тобой; нечего мне тебя твоего счастья лишать. А что он, хорош?» — «Нет, говорит, пожилой такой, с длинным носом…» Даже сама рассмеялась. Ушел я от нее; что ж, думаю, не судьба! На другое это утро пошел я под его магазин, улицу-то она мне сказала. Смотрю в стекло: сидит немец, часы делает, лет этак сорока пяти, нос горбатый, глаза выпучены, во фраке и в стоячих воротничках, этаких длинных, важный такой. Я так и плюнул; хотел было у него тут же стекло разбить… да что, думаю! нечего трогать, пропало, как с возу упало! Пришел в сумерки в казарму, лег на койку и вот, верите ли, Александр Петрович, как заплачу…
Ну, проходит этак день, другой, третий. С Луизой не вижусь. А меж тем услыхал от одной кумы (старая была, тоже прачка, к которой Луиза иногда хаживала), что немец про нашу любовь знает, потому-то и решил поскорей свататься. А то бы еще года два подождал. С Луизы будто бы он клятву взял, что она меня знать не будет; и что будто он их, и тетку и Луизу, покуда еще в черном теле держит; что, мол, дескать, еще и раздумает, а что совсем-то еще и теперь не решился. Сказала она мне тоже, что послезавтра, в воскресенье, он их обеих утром на кофе звал и что будет еще один родственник, старик, прежде был купец, а теперь бедный-пребедный, где-то в подвале надсмотрщиком служит. Как узнал я, что в воскресенье они, может быть, все дело решат, так меня зло взяло, что и с собой совладать не могу. И весь этот день и весь следующий только и делал, что об этом думал. Так бы и съел этого немца, думаю.
В воскресенье утром, еще я ничего не знал, а как обедни отошли — вскочил, натянул шинель да и отправился к немцу. Думал я их всех застать. И почему я отправился к немцу и что там хотел сказать — сам не знаю. А на всякий случай пистолет в карман сунул. Был у меня этот пистолетишка так, дрянной, с прежним курком; еще мальчишкой я из него стрелял. Из него и стрелять-то нельзя уж было. Однако ж я его пулей зарядил: станут выгонять, грубить — я пистолет выну и их всех напугаю. Прихожу. В мастерской никого нет, а сидят все в задней комнате. Окромя их, ни души, прислуги никакой. У него всего-то прислуга одна немка была, она ж и кухарка. Я прошел магазин; вижу — дверь туда заперта, да старая этак дверь, на крючке. Сердце у меня бьется, я остановился, слушаю: говорят по-немецки. Я как толкну ногой из всей силы, дверь тотчас и растворилась. Смотрю: стол накрыт. На столе большой кофейник и кофей на спирте кипит. Сухари стоят; на другом подносе графин водки, селедка и колбаса и еще бутылка вина какого-то. Луиза и тетка, обе разодетые, на диване сидят. Против них на стуле сам немец, жених, причесанный, во фраке и в воротничках, так и торчат вперед. А сбоку на стуле еще немец сидит, старик уж, толстый, седой, и молчит. Как вошел я, Луиза так и побледнела. Тетка было привскочила, да и села, а немец нахмурился. Такой сердитый; встал и навстречу:
— Что вам, говорит, угодно?
Я было сконфузился, да злость уж меня сильно взяла.
— Чего, говорю, угодно! А ты гостя принимай, водкой потчуй. Я к тебе в гости пришел.
Немец подумал и говорит.
— Садит-с.
Сел я.
— Давай же, говорю, водки-то.
— Вот, говорит, водка; пейте, пожалуй.
— Да ты мне, говорю, хорошей водки давай. — Злость-то, значит, меня уж очень берет.
— Это хорошая водка.
Обидно мне стало, что уж слишком он так меня низко ставит. А всего пуще, что Луиза смотрит. Выпил я да и говорю:
— Да ты что ж так грубить начал, немец? Ты со мною подружись. Я по дружбе к тебе пришел.
— Я не могу быть ваш друг, говорит: ви простой солдат.
Ну, тут я и взбесился.
— Ах ты чучела, говорю, колбасник! Да знаешь ли ты, что от сей минуты я все, что хочу, с тобой могу сделать? Вот хочешь, из пистолета тебя застрелю?
Вынул я пистолет, встал перед ним да и наставил дуло ему прямо в голову, в упор. Те сидят ни живы ни мертвы; пикнуть боятся; а старик, так тот как лист трясется, молчит, побледнел весь.
Немец удивился, однако ж опомнился.
— Я вас не боюсь, говорит, и прошу вас, как благородный человек, вашу шутку сейчас оставить, а я вас совсем не боюсь.
— Ой, врешь, говорю, боишься! — А чего! сам головы из-под пистолета пошевелить не смеет; так и сидит
— Нет, говорит, ви это никак не смеет сделать.
— Да почему ж, говорю, не смеет-то?
— А потому, говорит, что это вам строго запрещено и вас строго наказать за это будут.
То есть черт этого дурака немца знает! Не поджег бы он меня сам, был бы жив до сих пор; за спором только и стало дело.
— Так не смею, говорю, по-твоему?
— Нет-т!
— Не смею?
— Ви это совершенно не смейт со мной сделать…
— Ну так вот же тебе, колбаса! — Да как цапну его, он и покатился на стуле. Те закричали.
Я пистолет в карман, да и был таков, а как в крепость входил, тут у крепостных ворот пистолет в крапиву и бросил.
Пришел я домой, лег на койку и думаю: вот сейчас возьмут. Час проходит, другой — не берут. И уж этак перед сумерками такая тоска на меня напала; вышел я; беспременно Луизу повидать захотелось. Прошел я мимо часовщика. Смотрю: там народ, полиция. Я к куме: вызови Луизу! Чуть-чуть подождал, вижу: бежит Луиза, так и бросилась мне на шею, сама плачет: «Всему я, говорит, виновата, что тетки послушалась». Сказала она мне тоже, что тетка тотчас же после давешнего домой пошла и так струсила, что заболела и — молчок; и сама никому не объявила и мне говорить запретила; боится; как угодно, пусть так и делают. «Нас, говорит, Луиза, никто давеча не видал. Он и служанку свою услал, потому боялся. Та бы ему в глаза вцепилась, кабы узнала, что он жениться хочет. Из мастеровых тоже никого в доме не было; всех удалил. Сам и кофей сварил, сам и закуску приготовил. А родственник, так тот и прежде всю жизнь свою молчал, ничего не говорил, а как случилось давеча дело, взял шапку и первый ушел. И, верно, тоже молчать будет», — сказала Луиза. Так оно и было. Две недели меня никто не брал, и подозрения на меня никакого не было. В эти же две недели, верьте не верьте, Александр Петрович, я все счастье мое испытал. Каждый день с Луизой сходились. И уж так она, так ко мне привязалась! Плачет: «Я, говорит, за тобой, куда тебя сошлют, пойду, все для тебя покину! » Я уж думал всей жизни моей тут решиться: так она меня тогда разжалобила. Ну, а через две недели меня и взяли. Старик и тетка согласились да и доказали на меня…
— Но постойте, — прервал я Баклушина, — вас за это только могли всего-то лет на десять, ну на двенадцать, на полный срок, в гражданский разряд прислать; а ведь вы в особом отделении. Как это можно?
— Ну, уж это другое вышло дело, — сказал Баклушин. — Как привели меня в судную комиссию, капитан перед судом и обругай меня скверными словами. Я не стерпел да и говорю ему: «Ты что ругаешься-то? Разве не видишь, подлец, что перед зерцалом сидишь!» Ну, тут уж и пошло по-другому, по-новому стали судить да за все вместе и присудили: четыре тысячи да сюда, в особое отделение. А как вывели меня к наказанию, вывели и капитана: меня по зеленой улице, а его лишить чинов и на Кавказ в солдаты. До свиданья, Александр Петрович. Заходите же к нам в представление-то.

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X. Праздник Рождества Христова

Наконец наступили и праздники. Еще в сочельник арестанты почти не выходили на работу. Вышли в швальни, в мастерские; остальные только побыли на разводке, и хоть и были кой-куда назначены, но почти все, поодиночке или кучками, тотчас же возвратились в острог, и после обеда никто уже не выходил из него. Да и утром большая часть ходила только по своим делам, а не по казенным: иные — чтоб похлопотать о пронесении вина и заказать новое; другие — повидать знакомых куманьков и кумушек или собрать к празднику должишки за сделанные ими прежде работы; Баклушин и участвовавшие в театре — чтоб обойти некоторых знакомых, преимущественно из офицерской прислуги, и достать необходимые костюмы. Иные ходили с заботливым и суетливым видом единственно потому, что и другие были суетливы и заботливы, и хоть иным, например, ниоткуда не предстояло получить денег, но они смотрели так, как будто и они тоже получат от кого-нибудь деньги; одним словом, все как будто ожидали к завтрашнему дню какой-то перемены, чего-то необыкновенного. К вечеру инвалиды, ходившие на базар по арестантским рассылкам, нанесли с собой много всякой всячины из съестного: говядины, поросят, даже гусей. Многие из арестантов, даже самые скромные и бережливые, копившие круглый год свои копейки, считали обязанностью раскошелиться к такому дню и достойным образом справить разговень. Завтрашней день был настоящий, неотъемлемый у арестанта праздник, признанный за ним формально законом. В этот день арестант не мог быть выслан на работу, и таких дней всего было три в году.
И, наконец, кто знает, сколько воспоминаний должно было зашевелиться в душах этих отверженцев при встрече такого дня! Дни великих праздников резко отпечатлеваются в памяти простолюдинов, начиная с самого детства. Это дни отдохновения от их тяжких работ, дни семейного сбора. В остроге же они должны были припоминаться с мучениями и тоской. Уважение к торжественному дню переходило у арестантов даже в какую-то форменность; немногие гуляли; все были серьезны и как будто чем-то заняты, хотя у многих совсем почти не было дела. Но и праздные и гуляки старались сохранять в себе какую-то важность… Смех как будто был запрещен. Вообще настроение дошло до какой-то щепетильности и раздражительной нетерпимости, и кто нарушал общий тон, хоть бы невзначай, того осаживали с криком и бранью и сердились на него как будто за неуважение к самому празднику. Это настроение арестантов было замечательно, даже трогательно. Кроме врожденного благоговения к великому дню, арестант бессознательно ощущал, что он этим соблюдением праздника как будто соприкасается со всем миром, что не совсем же он, стало быть, отверженец, погибший человек, ломоть отрезанный, что и в остроге то же, что у людей. Они это чувствовали; это было видно и понятно.
Аким Акимыч тоже очень готовился к празднику. У него не было ни семейных воспоминаний, потому что он вырос сиротой в чужом доме и чуть не с пятнадцати лет пошел на тяжелую службу; не было в жизни его и особенных радостей, потому что всю жизнь свою провел он регулярно, однообразно, боясь хоть на волосок выступить из показанных ему обязанностей. Не был он и особенно религиозен, потому что благонравие, казалось, поглотило в нем все остальные его человеческие дары и особенности, все страсти и желания, дурные и хорошие. Вследствие всего этого он готовился встретить торжественный день не суетясь, не волнуясь, не смущаясь тоскливыми и совершенно бесполезными воспоминаниями, а с тихим, методическим благонравием, которого было ровно настолько, сколько нужно для исполнения обязанности и раз навсегда указанного обряда. Да и вообще он не любил много задумываться. Значение факта, казалось, никогда не касалось его головы, но раз указанные ему правила он исполнял с священною аккуратностью. Если б завтра же приказали ему сделать совершенно противное, он бы сделал и это с тою же самою покорностью и тщательностью, как делал и противоположное тому накануне. Раз, один только раз в жизни он попробовал пожить своим умом — и попал в каторгу. Урок не пропал для него даром. И хоть ему не суждено было судьбою понять хоть когда-нибудь, в чем именно он провинился, но зато он вывел из своего приключения спасительное правило — не рассуждать никогда и ни в каких обстоятельствах, потому что рассуждать «не его ума дело», как выражались промеж себя арестанты. Слепо преданный обряду, он даже и на праздничного поросенка своего, которого начинил кашей и изжарил (собственноручно, потому что умел и жарить), смотрел с каким-то предварительным уважением, точно это был не обыкновенный поросенок, которого всегда можно было купить и изжарить, а какой-то особенный, праздничный. Может быть, он еще с детства привык видеть на столе в этот день поросенка и вывел, что поросенок необходим для этого дня, и я уверен, если б хоть раз в этот день он не покушал поросенка, то на всю жизнь у него бы осталось некоторое угрызение совести о неисполненном долге. До праздника он ходил в своей старой куртке и в старых панталонах, хоть и благопристойно заштопанных, но зато уж совсем заносившихся. Оказалось теперь, что новую пару, выданную ему еще месяца четыре назад, он тщательно сберегал в своем сундучке и не притрогивался к ней с улыбающейся мыслью торжественно обновить ее в праздник. Так он и сделал. Еще с вечера он достал свою новую пару, разложил, осмотрел, пообчистил, обдул и, исправив все это, предварительно примерил ее. Оказалось, что пара была совершенно впору; все было прилично, плотно застегивалось доверху, воротник, как из кордона, высоко подпирал подбородок; в талье образовалось даже что-то вроде мундирного перехвата, и Аким Акимыч даже осклабился от удовольствия и не без молодцеватости повернулся перед крошечным свои зеркальцем, которое собственноручно и давно уже оклеил в свободную минутку золотым бордюрчиком. Только один крючочек у воротника куртки оказался как будто не на месте. Сообразив это, Аким Акимыч решил переставить крючок; переставил, примерил опять, и оказалось уже совсем хорошо. Тогда он сложил все по-прежнему и с успокоенным духом упрятал до завтра в сундучок. Голова его была обрита удовлетворительно; но, оглядев себя внимательно в зеркальце, он заметил, что как будто не совсем гладко на голове; показывались чуть видные ростки волос, и он немедленно сходил к «майору» чтоб обриться совершенно прилично и по форме. И хоть Акима Акимыча никто не стал бы завтра осматривать, но обрился он единственно для спокойствия своей совести, чтоб уж так, для такого дня, исполнить все свои обязанности. Благоговение к пуговке, к погончику, к петличке еще с детства неотъемлемо напечатлелось в уме его в виде неоспоримой обязанности, а в сердце — как образ последней степени красоты, до которой может достичь порядочный человек. Все исправив, он, как старший арестант в казарме, распорядился приносом сена и тщательно наблюдал, как разбрасывали его по полу. То же самое было и в других казармах. Не знаю почему, но к рождеству всегда разбрасывали у нас по казарме сено. Потом, окончив все свои труды, Аким Акимыч помолился богу, лег на свою койку и тотчас же заснул безмятежным сном младенца, чтоб проснуться как можно раньше утром. Так же точно поступили, впрочем, и все арестанты. Во всех казармах улеглись гораздо раньше обыкновенного. Обыкновенные вечерние работы были оставлены; об майданах и помину не было. Все ждало завтрашнего утра.
Оно наконец настало. Рано, еще до свету, едва только пробили зорю, отворили казармы, и вошедший считать арестантов караульный унтер-офицер поздравил их всех с праздником. Ему отвечали тем же, отвечали приветливо и ласково. Наскоро помолившись, Аким Акимыч и многие, имевшие своих гусей и поросят на кухне, поспешно пошли смотреть, что с ними делается, как их жарят, где что стоит и так далее. Сквозь темноту из маленьких, залепленных снегом и льдом окошек нашей казармы видно было, что в обеих кухнях, во всех шести печах, пылает яркий огонь, разложенный еще до свету. По двору, в темноте, уже швыряли арестанты в своих полушубках, в рукава и внакидку; все это стремилось в кухню. Но некоторые, впрочем очень немногие, успели уже побывать и у целовальников. Это были уже самые нетерпеливые. Вообще же все вели себя благопристойно, смирно и как-то не по-обыкновенному чинно. Не слышно было ни обычной ругани, ни обычных ссор. Все понимали, что день большой и праздник великий. Были такие, что сходили в другие казармы, поздравили кой-кого из своих. Проявлялось что-то вроде дружества. Замечу мимоходом: между арестантами почти совсем не замечалось дружества, не говорю общего, — это уж подавно, — а так, чтоб один какой-нибудь арестант сдружился с другим. Этого почти совсем у нас не было, и это замечательная черта: так не бывает на воле. У нас вообще все были в обращении друг с другом черствы, сухи, за очень редкими исключениями, и это был какой-то формальный, раз принятый и установленный тон. Я тоже вышел из казармы; начинало чуть-чуть светать; звезды меркли; морозный тонкий пар подымался кверху. Из печных труб на кухне валил дым столбом. Некоторые из попавшихся мне навстречу арестантов сами охотно и ласково поздравили меня с праздником. Я благодарил и отвечал тем же. Из них были и такие, которые до сих пор еще ни слова со мной не сказали во весь этот месяц.
У самой кухни нагнал меня арестант из военной казармы, в тулупе внакидку. Он еще с полдвора разглядел меня и кричал мне: «Александр Петрович! Александр Петрович!» Он бежал на кухню и торопился. Я остановился и подождал его. Это был молодой парень, с круглым лицом, с тихим выражением глаз, очень неразговорчивый со всеми, а со мной не сказавший еще ни одного слова и не обращавший на меня доселе никакого внимания со времени моего поступления в острог; я даже не знал, как его и зовут. Он подбежал ко мне запыхавшись и стал передо мной в упор, глядя на меня с какой-то тупой, но в то же время и блаженной улыбкой.
— Что вам? — не без удивления спросил я его, видя, что он стоит передо мной, улыбается, глядит во все глаза, а разговора не начинает.
— Да как же, праздник… — пробормотал он и, сам догадавшись, что не о чем больше говорить, бросил меня и поспешно отправился на кухню.
Замечу здесь кстати, что и после этого мы с ним ровно никогда не сходились и почти не сказали ни слова друг другу до самого моего выхода из острога.
На кухне около жарко разгоревшихся печей шла суетня и толкотня, целая давка. Всякий наблюдал за своим добром; стряпки принимались готовить казенное кушанье, потому что в этот день обед начинался раньше. Никто, впрочем, не начинал еще есть, хоть иным бы и хотелось, но наблюдалось перед другими приличие. Ждали священника, и уже после него полагались разговени. Между тем еще не успело совсем ободнять, как уже начали раздаваться за воротами острога призывные крики ефрейтора: «Поваров!» Эти крики раздавались чуть не поминутно и продолжались почти два часа. Требовали поваров с кухни, чтоб принимать приносимое со всех концов города в острог подаяние. Приносилось оно в чрезвычайном количестве в виде калачей, хлеба, ватрушек, пряжеников, шанег, блинов и прочих сдобных печений. Я думаю, не осталось ни одной хозяйки из купеческих и мещанских домов во всем городе, которая бы не прислала своего хлеба, чтоб поздравить с великим праздником «несчастных» и заключенных. Были подаяния богатые — сдобные хлеба из чистейшей муки, присланные в большом количестве. Были подаяния и очень бедные — такой какой-нибудь грошовый калачик и две каких-нибудь черные шаньги, чуть-чуть обмазанные сметаной: это уже был дар бедняка бедняку, из последнего. Все принималось с одинаковою благодарностью, без различия даров и даривших. Принимавшие арестанты снимали шапки, кланялись, поздравляли с праздником и относили подаяние на кухню. Когда же набрались целые груды подаянного хлеба, требовали старших из каждой казармы, и они уже распределили все поровну, по казармам. Не было ни спору, ни брани; дело вели честно, поровну. Что пришлось на нашу казарму, разделили уже у нас; делил Аким Акимыч и еще другой арестант; делили своей рукой и своей рукой раздавали каждому. Не было ни малейшего возражения, ни малейшей зависти от кого-нибудь; все остались довольны; даже подозрения не могло быть, что подаяние можно утаить или раздать не поровну. Устроив свои дела в кухне, Аким Акимыч приступил к своему облачению, оделся со всем приличием и торжественностью, не оставив ни одного крючочка незастегнутым, и, одевшись, тотчас же приступил к настоящей молитве. Он молился довольно долго. На молитве стояло уже много арестантов, большею частью пожилых. Молодежь помногу не молилась: так разве перекрестится кто, вставая, даже и в праздник. Помолившись, Аким Акимыч подошел ко мне и с некоторою торжественностью поздравил меня с праздником. Я тут же позвал его на чай, а он меня на своего поросенка. Спустя немного прибежал ко мне и Петров поздравить меня. Он, кажется, уж выпил и хоть прибежал запыхавшись, но многого не сказал, а только постоял недолго передо мной с каким-то ожиданием и вскоре ушел от меня на кухню. Между тем в военной казарме приготовлялись к принятию священника. Эта казарма была устроена не так, как другие: в ней нары тянулись около стен, а не посредине комнаты, как во всех прочих казармах, так что это была единственная в остроге комната, не загроможденная посредине. Вероятно, она и устроена была таким образом, чтоб в ней, в необходимых случаях, можно было собирать арестантов. Среди комнаты поставили столик, накрыли его чистым полотенцем, поставили на нем образ и зажгли лампадку. Наконец пришел священник с крестом и святою водою. Помолившись и пропев перед образом, он стал перед арестантами, и все с истинным благоговением стали подходить прикладываться к кресту. Затем священник обошел все казармы и окропил их святою водою. На кухне он похвалил наш острожный хлеб, славившийся своим вкусом в городе, и арестанты тотчас же пожелали ему послать два свежих и только что выпеченных хлеба; на отсылку их немедленно употреблен был один инвалид. Крест проводили с тем же благоговением, с каким и встретили, и затем почти тотчас же приехали плац-майор и комендант. Коменданта у нас любили и даже уважали. Он обошел все казармы в сопровождении плац-майора, всех поздравил с праздником, зашел в кухню и попробовал острожных щей. Щи вышли славные; отпущено было для такого дня чуть не по фунту говядины на каждого арестанта. Сверх того, сготовлена была просяная каша, и масла отпустили вволю. Проводив коменданта, плац-майор велел начинать обедать. Арестанты старались не попадаться ему на глаза. Не любили у нас его злобного взгляда из-под очков, которым он и теперь высматривал направо и налево, не найдется ли беспорядков, не попадется ли какой-нибудь виноватый.
Стали обедать. Поросенок Акима Акимыча был зажарен превосходно. И вот не могу объяснить, как это случилось: тотчас же по отъезде плац-майора, каких-нибудь пять минут спустя, оказалось необыкновенно много пьяного народу, а между тем, еще за пять минут, все были почти совершенно трезвые. Явилось много рдеющих и сияющих лиц, явились балалайки. Полячок со скрипкой уже ходил за каким-то гулякой, нанятый на весь день, и пилил ему веселые танцы. Разговор становился хмельнее и шумнее. Но отобедали без больших беспорядков. Все были сыты. Многие из стариков и солидных отправились тотчас же спать, что сделал и Аким Акимыч, полагая, кажется, что в большой праздник после обеда непременно нужно заснуть. Старичок из стародубовских старообрядцев, вздремнув немного, полез на печку, развернул свою книгу и промолился до глубокой ночи, почти не прерывая молитвы. Ему тяжело было смотреть на «страм», как говорил он про всеобщую гулянку арестантов. Все черкесы уселись на крылечке и с любопытством, а вместе и с некоторым омерзением смотрели на пьяный народ. Мне повстречался Нурра: «Яман, яман! — сказал он мне, покачивая головою с благочестивым негодованием, — ух, яман! Аллах сердит будет!» Исай Фомич упрямо и высокомерно засветил в своем уголку свечку и начал работать, видимо показывая, что ни во что не считает праздник. Кой-где по углам начались майданы. Инвалидов не боялись, а в случае унтер-офицера, который сам старался ничего не замечать, поставили сторожей. Караульный офицер раза три заглядывал во весь этот день в острог. Но пьяные прятались, майданы снимались при его появлении, да и сам он, казалось, решался не обращать внимания на мелкие беспорядки. Пьяный человек в этот день считался уже беспорядком мелким. Мало-помалу народ разгуливался. Начинались и ссоры. Трезвых все-таки оставалось гораздо большая часть, и было кому присмотреть за нетрезвыми. Зато уж гулявшие пили без меры. Газин торжествовал. Он разгуливал с самодовольным видом около своего места на нарах, под которое смело перенес вино, хранившееся до того времени где-то в снегу за казармами, в потаенном месте, и лукаво посмеивался, смотря на прибывавших к нему потребителей. Сам он был трезв и не выпил ни капли. Он намерен был гулять в конце праздника, обобрав предварительно все денежки из арестантских карманов. По казармам раздавались песни. Но пьянство переходило уже в чадный угар, и от песен недалеко было до слез. Многие расхаживали с собственными балалайками, тулупы внакидку, и с молодецким видом перебирали струны. В особом отделении образовался даже хор, человек из восьми. Они славно пели под аккомпанемент балалаек и гитар. Чисто народных песен пелось мало. Помню только одну, молодецки пропетую:
Я вечор млада
Во пиру была.
И здесь я услышал новый вариант этой песни, которого прежде не встречал. В конце песни прибавлялось несколько стихов:
У меня ль, младой,
Дома убрано:
Ложки вымыла,
Во щи вылила;
С косяков сскребла,
Пироги спекла.
Пелись же большею частью песни так называемые у нас арестантские, впрочем все известные. Одна из них: «Бывало… » — юмористическая, описывающая, как прежде человек веселился и жил барином на воле, а теперь попал в острог. Описывалось, как он подправлял прежде «бламанже шемпанским», а теперь —
Дадут капусты мне с водою —
И ем, так за ушми трещит.
В ходу была тоже слишком известная:
Прежде жил я, мальчик, веселился
И имел свой капитал:
Капиталу, мальчик, я решился
И в неволю жить попал…
и так далее. Только у нас произносили не «капитал», а «копитал», производя капитал от слова «копить»; пелись тоже заунывные. Одна была чисто каторжная, тоже, кажется, известная:
Свет небесный воссияет,
Барабан зорю пробьет, —
Старший двери отворяет,
Писарь требовать идет.
Нас не видно за стенами,
Каково мы здесь живем;
Бог, творец небесный, с нами,
Мы и здесь не пропадем, и т. д.
Другая пелась еще заунывнее, впрочем прекрасным напевом, сочиненная, вероятно, каким-нибудь ссыльным, с приторными и довольно безграмотными словами. Из нее я вспоминаю теперь несколько стихов:
Не увидит взор мой той страны,
‎В которой я рожден;
Терпеть мученья без вины
‎Навек я осужден.
На кровле филин прокричит,
‎Раздастся по лесам,
Заноет сердце, загрустит,
‎Меня не будет там.
Эта песня пелась у нас часто, но не хором, а в одиночку. Кто-нибудь, в гулевое время, выйдет, бывало, на крылечко казармы, сядет, задумается, подопрет щеку рукой и затянет ее высоким фальцетом. Слушаешь, и как-то душу надрывает. Голоса у нас были порядочные.
Между тем начинались уж и сумерки. Грусть, тоска и чад тяжело проглядывали среди пьянства и гульбы. Смеявшийся за час тому назад уже рыдал где-нибудь, напившись через край. Другие успели уже раза по два подраться. Третьи, бледные и чуть держась на ногах, шатались по казармам, заводили ссоры. Те же, у которых хмель был незадорного свойства, тщетно искали друзей, чтобы излить перед ними свою душу и выплакать свое пьяное горе. Весь этот бедный народ хотел повеселиться, провесть весело великий праздник — и, господи! какой тяжелый и грустный был этот день чуть не для каждого. Каждый проводил его, как будто обманувшись в какой-то надежде. Петров раза два еще забегал ко мне. Он очень немного выпил во весь день и был почти совсем трезвый. Но он до самого последнего часа все чего-то ожидал, что непременно должно случиться, чего-то необыкновенного, праздничного, развеселого. Хоть он и не говорил об этом, но видно было по его глазам. Он сновал из казармы в казарму без устали. Но ничего особенного не случалось и не встречалось, кроме пьянства, пьяной бестолковой ругани и угоревших от хмеля голов. Сироткин бродил тоже в новой красной рубашке по всем казармам, хорошенький, вымытый, и тоже тихо и наивно, как будто ждал чего-то. Мало-помалу в казармах становилось несносно и омерзительно. Конечно, было много и смешного, но мне было как-то грустно и жалко их всех, тяжело и душно между ними. Вон два арестанта спорят, кому кого угощать. Видно, что они уже долго спорят и преж-того даже поссорились. У одного в особенности есть какой-то давнишний зуб на другого. Он жалуется и, нетвердо ворочая языком, силится доказать, что тот поступил с ним несправедливо: был продан какой-то полушубок, утаены когда-то какие-то деньги, в прошлом году на масленице. Что-то еще, кроме этого, было… Обвиняющий — высокий и мускулистый парень, неглупый, смирный, но когда пьян — с стремлением дружиться и излить свое горе. Он ругается и претензию показывает как будто с желанием еще крепче потом помириться с соперником. Другой — плотный, коренастый, невысокого роста, с круглым лицом, хитрый и пронырливый. Он выпил, может быть, больше своего товарища, но пьян только слегка. Он с характером и слывет богатым, но ему почему-то выгодно не раздражать теперь своего экспансивного друга, и он подводит его к целовальнику; друг утверждает, что он должен и обязан ему поднести, «если только ты честный человек есть».
Целовальник с некоторым уважением к требователю и с оттенком презрения к экспансивному другу, потому что тот пьет не на свои, а его потчуют, достает и наливает чашку вина.
— Нет, Степка, это ты должен, — говорит экспансивный друг, видя, что его взяла, — потому ефто твой долг.
— Да я с тобой и язык-то даром не стану мозолить! — отвечает Степка.
— Нет, Степка, это ты врешь, — подтверждает первый, принимая от целовальника чашку, — потому ты мне деньги должен; совести нет и глаза-то у тебя не свои, а заемные! Подлец, Степка, вот тебе; одно слово подлец!
— Ну чего рюмишь, вино расплескал! Честь ведут да дают, так пей! — кричит целовальник на экспансивного друга, — не до завтра над тобой стоять!
— Да и выпью, чего кричишь! С праздником, Степан Дорофеич! — вежливо и с легким поклоном обратился он, держа чашку в руках, к Степке, которого еще за полминуты обзывал подлецом. — Будь здоров на сто годов, а что жил, не в зачет! — Он выпил, крякнул и утерся. — Прежде, братцы, я много вина подымал, — заметил он с серьезною важностью, обращаясь как будто ко всем и ни к кому в особенности, — а теперь уж, знать, лета мои подходят. Благодарствую, Степан Дорофеич.
— Не на чем.
— Так я все про то буду тебе, Степка, говорить; и, окромя того, что ты выходишь передо мной большой подлец, я тебе скажу…
— А я тебе вот что, пьяная ты харя, скажу, — перебивает потерявший терпение Степка. — Слушай да всякое мое слово считай: вот тебе свет пополам; тебе полсвета и мне полсвета. Иди и не встречайся ты больше мне. Надоел!
— Так не отдашь денег?
— Каких тебе еще денег, пьяный ты человек?
— Эй, на том свете сам придешь отдавать — не возьму! Наша денежка трудовая, да потная, да мозольная. Замаешься с моим пятаком на том свете.
— Да ну тебя к черту.
— Что нукаешь; не запрег.
— Пошел, пошел!
— Подлец!
— Варнак!
И пошла опять ругань, еще больше, чем до потчеванья.
Вот сидят на нарах отдельно два друга: один высокий, плотный, мясистый, настоящий мясник; лицо его красно. Он чуть не плачет, потому что очень растроган. Другой — тщедушный, тоненький, худой, с длинным носом, с которого как будто что-то каплет, и с маленькими свиными глазками, обращенными в землю. Это человек политичный и образованный; был когда-то писарем и трактует своего друга несколько свысока, что тому втайне очень неприятно. Они весь день вместе пили.
— Он меня дерзнул! — кричит мясистый друг, крепко качая голову писаря левой рукой, которою он обхватил его. «Дерзнул» — значит ударил. Мясистый друг, сам из унтер-офицеров, втайне завидует своему испитому другу, и потому оба они, один перед другим, щеголяют изысканностью слога.
— А я тебе говорю, что и ты не прав… — начинает догматически писарь, упорно не подымая на него своих глаз и с важностью смотря в землю.
— Он меня дерзнул, слышь ты! — прерывает друг, еще больше теребя своего милого друга. — Ты один мне теперь на всем свете остался, слышь ты это? Потому я тебе одному говорю: он меня дерзнул!..
— А я опять скажу: такое кислое оправданье, милый друг, составляет только стыд твоей голове! — тоненьким и вежливым голоском возражает писарь, — а лучше согласись, милый друг, все это пьянство через твое собственное непостоянство…
Мясистый друг несколько отшатываясь назад, тупо глядит своими пьяными глазами на самодовольного писаришку и вдруг, совершенно неожиданно, изо всей силы ударяет своим огромным кулаком по маленькому лицу писаря. Тем и кончается дружба за целый день. Милый друг без памяти летит под нары…
Вот входит в нашу казарму один мой знакомый из особого отделения, бесконечно добродушный и веселый парень, неглупый, безобидно-насмешливый и необыкновенно простоватый с виду. Это тот самый, который, в первый мой день в остроге, в кухне за обедом искал, где живет богатый мужик, уверял, что он «с анбицией», и напился со мною чаю. Он лет сорока, с необыкновенно толстой губой и с большим мясистым носом, усеянным угрями. В руках его балалайка, на которой он небрежно перебирает струны. За ним следовал, точно прихвостень, чрезвычайно маленький арестантик, с большой головой, которого я очень мало знал доселе. На него, впрочем, и никто не обращал никакого внимания. Он был какой-то странный, недоверчивый, вечно молчаливый и серьезный; ходил работать в швальню и, видимо, старался жить особняком и ни с кем не связываться. Теперь же, пьяный, он привязался, как тень, к Варламову. Он следовал за ним в ужасном волнении, размахивал руками, бил кулаком по стене, по нарам и даже чуть не плакал. Варламов, казалось, не обращал на него никакого внимания, как будто и не было его подле. Замечательно, что прежде эти два человека почти совсем друг с другом не сходились; у них и по занятиям и по характеру ничего нет общего. И разрядов они разных и живут по разным казармам. Звали маленького арестанта — Булкин.
Варламов, увидев меня, осклабился. Я сидел на своих нарах у печки. Он стал поодаль против меня, что-то сообразил, покачнулся и, неровными шагами подойдя ко мне, как-то молодцевато избоченился всем корпусом и, слегка потрогивая струны, проговорил речитативом, чуть-чуть постукивая сапогом:
Круглолица, белолица,
Распевает, как синица,
Милая моя;
Она в платьице атласном,
Гарнитуровом прекрасном,
Очень хороша.
Эта песня, казалось, вывела из себя Булкина; он взмахнул руками и, обращаясь ко всем, закричал:
— Все-то, братцы, все-то он врет! Ни одного слова не скажет вправду, все врет!
— Старичку Александру Петровичу! — проговорил Варламов, с плутоватым смехом заглядывая мне в глаза, и чуть не полез со мной целоваться. Он был пьяненек. Выражение «Старичку такому-то… », то есть такому-то мое почтение, употребляется в простонародье по всей Сибири, хотя бы относилось к человеку двадцати лет. Слово «старичок» означает что-то почетное, почтительное, даже льстивое.
— Ну что, Варламов, как поживаете?
— Да по деньку на день. А уж кто празднику рад, тот спозаранку пьян; вы уж меня извините! — Варламов говорил несколько нараспев.
— И все-то врет, все-то он опять врет! — закричал Булкин, в каком-то отчаянии стуча рукою по нарам. Но тот как будто слово дал не обращать на него ни малейшего внимания, и в этом было чрезвычайно много комизму, потому что Булкин привязался к Варламову совершенно ни с того ни с сего еще с самого утра именно за то, что Варламов «все врет», как ему отчего-то показалось. Он бродил за ним, как тень, привязывался к каждому его слову, ломал свои руки, обколотил их чуть не в кровь об стены и об нары и страдал, видимо страдал от убеждения, что Варламов «все врет»! Если б у него были волосы на голове, он бы, кажется, вырвал их от огорчения. Точно он взял на себя обязанность отвечать за поступки Варламова, точно на его совести лежали все недостатки Варламова. Но в том-то и штука, что тот даже и не глядел на него.
— Все врет, все врет, все врет! Ни одно-то слово его ни к чему не подходит! — кричал Булкин.
— Да тебе-то что! — отвечали со смехом арестанты.
— Я вам, Александр Петрович, доложу, что был я очень красив из себя и очень меня любили девки… — начал вдруг ни с того ни с сего Варламов.
— Врет! Опять врет! — прерывает с каким-то визгом Булкин.
Арестанты хохочут.
— А я-то перед ними куражусь: рубаха на мне красная, шаровары плисовые; лежу себе, как этакой граф Бутылкин, ну то есть пьян, как швед, одно слово — чего изволите!
— Врет! — решительно подтверждает Булкин.
— А в те поры был у меня от батюшки дом двухэтажный каменный. Ну, в два-то года я два этажа и спустил, остались у меня одни ворота без столбов. Что ж, деньги — голуби: прилетят и опять улетят!
— Врет! — еще решительнее подтверждает Булкин.
— Так уж я вот опомнясь и послал моим родичам отсюда слезницу; авось деньжонок пришлют. Потому, говорили, я против родителев моих шел. Неуважительный был! Вот уж седьмой год, как послал.
— И нет ответу? — спросил я, засмеявшись.
— Да нет, — отвечал он, вдруг засмеявшись сам и все ближе и ближе приближая свой нос к самому моему лицу. — А у меня, Александр Петрович, здесь полюбовница есть…
— У вас? Любовница?
— Онуфриев даве и говорит: «Моя пусть рябая, нехорошая, да зато у ней несколько одежи; а твоя хорошая, да нищая, с мешком ходит».
— Да разве правда?
— А и вправду нищая! — отвечал он и залился неслышным смехом; в казарме тоже захохотали. Действительно, все знали, что он связался с какой-то нищей и выдал ей в полгода всего десять копеек.
— Ну, так что ж? — спросил я, желая от него наконец отвязаться.
Он помолчал, умильно посмотрел на меня и нежно произнес:
— Так вот не соблаговолите ли мне по сей причине на косушку? Я ведь, Александр Петрович, все чай пил сегодня, — прибавил он в умилении, принимая деньги, — и так я этого чаю нахлестался, что одышка взяла, а в брюхе как в бутылке болтается…
Меж тем как он принимал деньги, нравственное расстройство Булкина, казалось, дошло до последних пределов. Он жестикулировал, как отчаянный, чуть не плакал.
— Люди божии! — кричал он, обращаясь ко всей казарме в исступлении, — смотрите на него! Все врет! Что ни скажет, все-то, все-то, все-то врет!
— Да тебе-то что? — кричат ему арестанты, удивляясь на его ярость, — несообразный ты человек!
— Не дам соврать! — кричит Булкин, сверкая глазами и стуча из всей силы кулаком по нарам, — не хочу, чтоб он врал!
Все хохочут. Варламов берет деньги, откланивается мне и, кривляясь, спешит из казармы, разумеется к целовальнику. И тут, кажется, он в первый раз замечает Булкина.
— Ну, пойдем! — говорит он ему, останавливаясь на пороге, точно он и впрямь был ему на что-то нужен. — Набалдашник! — прибавляет он с презрением, пропуская огорченного Булкина вперед себя и вновь начиная тренькать на балалайке…
Но что описывать этот чад! Наконец кончается этот удушливый день. Арестанты тяжело засыпают на нарах. Во сне они говорят и бредят еще больше, чем в другие ночи. Кой-где еще сидят за майданами. Давно ожидаемый праздник прошел. Завтра опять будни, опять на работу…

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XI. Представление

На третий день праздника, вечером, состоялось представление в нашем театре. Предварительных хлопот по устройству, вероятно, было много, но актеры взяли все на себя, так что все мы, остальные, и не знали: в каком положении дело? что именно делается? даже хорошенько не знали, что будет представляться. Актеры все эти три дня, выходя на работу, старались как можно более добыть костюмов. Баклушин, встречаясь со мной, только прищелкивал пальцами от удовольствия. Кажется, и на плац-майора нашел порядочный стих. Впрочем, нам было совершенно неизвестно, знал ли он о театре. Если знал, то позволил ли его формально или только решился молчать, махнув рукой на арестантскую затею и подтвердив, разумеется, чтоб все было по возможности в порядке? Я думаю, он знал о театре, не мог не знать; но вмешиваться не хотел, понимая, что может быть хуже, если он запретит: арестанты начнут шалить, пьянствовать, так что гораздо лучше, если чем-нибудь займутся. Я, впрочем, предполагаю в плац-майоре такое рассуждение единственно потому, что оно самое естественное, самое верное и здравое. Даже так можно сказать: если б у арестантов не было на праздниках театра или какого-нибудь занятия в этом роде, то его следовало самому начальству выдумать. Но так как наш плац-майор отличался совершенно обратным способом мышления, чем остальная часть человечества, то очень немудрено, что я беру большой грех на себя, предполагая, что он знал о театре и позволил его. Такому человеку, как плац-майор, надо было везде кого-нибудь придавить, что-нибудь отнять, кого-нибудь лишить права — одним словом, где-нибудь произвести распорядок. В этом отношении он был известен в целом городе. Какое ему дело, что именно от этих стеснений в остроге могли выйти шалости? На шалости есть наказания (рассуждают такие, как наш плац-майор), а с мошенниками-арестантами строгость и беспрерывное, буквальное исполнение закона — вот и все, что требуется! Эти бездарные исполнители закона решительно не понимают, да и не в состоянии понять, что одно буквальное исполнение его, без смысла, без понимания духа его, прямо ведет к беспорядкам, да и никогда к другому не приводило. «В законах сказано, чего же больше?» — говорят они и искренно удивляются, что от них еще требуют, впридачу к законам, здравого рассудка и трезвой головы. Последнее особенно кажется многим из них излишнею и возмутительною роскошью, стеснением, нетерпимостью.
Но как бы то ни было, старший унтер-офицер не противоречил арестантам, а им только того и надо было. Я утвердительно скажу, что театр и благодарность за то, что его позволили, были причиною, что на праздниках не было ни одного серьезного беспорядка в остроге: ни одной злокачественной ссоры, ни одного воровства. Я сам был свидетелем, как свои же унимали иных разгулявшихся или ссорившихся единственно под тем предлогом, что запретят театр. Унтер-офицер взял с арестантов слово, что все будет тихо и вести будут себя хорошо. Согласились с радостью и свято исполняли обещание; льстило тоже очень, что верят их слову. Надо, впрочем, сказать, что позволить театр решительно ничего не стоило начальству, никаких пожертвований. Предварительно места не огораживали: театр созидался и разнимался весь в какие-нибудь четверть часа. Продолжался он полтора часа, и, если б вдруг вышло свыше приказание прекратить представление, — дело бы обделалось в один миг. Костюмы были спрятаны в сундуках у арестантов. Но прежде чем скажу, как устроен был театр и какие именно были костюмы, скажу об афише театра, то есть что именно предполагалось играть.
Собственно писаной афишки не было. На второе, на третье представление явилась, впрочем, одна, написанная Баклушиным для гг. офицеров и вообще благородных посетителей, удостоивших наш театр, еще в первое представление, своим посещением. Именно: из господ приходил обыкновенно караульный офицер, и однажды зашел сам дежурный по караулам. Зашел тоже раз инженерный офицер; вот на случай этих-то посетителей и создалась афишка. Предполагалось, что слава острожного театра прогремит далеко в крепости и даже в городе, тем более что в городе не было театра. Слышно было, что составился на одно из представлений из любителей, да и только. Арестанты, как дети, радовались малейшему успеху, тщеславились даже. «Ведь кто знает, — думали и говорили у нас про себя и между собою, — пожалуй, и самое высшее начальство узнает; придут и посмотрят; увидят тогда, какие есть арестанты. Это не просто солдатское представление, с какими-то чучелами, с плывучими лодками, с ходячими медведями и козами. Тут актеры, настоящие актеры, господские комедии играют; такого театра и в городе нет. У генерала Абросимова было раз, говорят, представление и еще будет; ну, так, может, только костюмами и возьмут, а насчет разговору, так еще кто знает перед нашими-то! До губернатора дойдет, пожалуй, и — чем черт не шутит? — может, и сам захочет прийти посмотреть. В городе-то нет театра…» Одним словом, фантазия арестантов, особенно после первого успеха, дошла на праздниках до последней степени, чуть ли не до наград или до уменьшения срока работ, хотя в то же время и сами они почти тотчас же предобродушно принимались смеяться над собою. Одним словом, это были дети, вполне дети, несмотря на то, что иным их этих детей было по сороку лет. Но, несмотря на то, что не было афиш, я уже знал в главных чертах состав предполагаемого представления. Первая пьеса была : «Филатка и Мирошка соперники». Баклушин еще за неделю до представления хвалился передо мной, что роль самого Филатки, которую он брал на себя, будет так представлена, что и в санкт-петербургском театре не видывали. Он расхаживал по казармам, хвастался немилосердно и бесстыдно, а вместе с тем и совершенно добродушно, а иногда вдруг, бывало, отпустит что-нибудь «по-тиатральному», то есть из своей роли, — и все хохочут, смешно или не смешно то, что он отпустил. Впрочем, надо признаться, и тут арестанты умели себя выдержать и достоинство соблюсти: восторгались выходками Баклушина и рассказами о будущем театре или только самый молодой и желторотый народ, без выдержки, или только самые значительные из арестантов, которых авторитет был незыблемо установлен, так что им уж нечего было бояться прямо выражать свои ощущения, какие бы они ни были, хотя бы самого наивного (то есть, по острожным понятиям, самого неприличного) свойства. Прочие же выслушивали слухи и толки молча, правда, не осуждали, не противоречили, но всеми силами старались отнестись к слухам о театре равнодушно и даже отчасти и свысока. Только уж в последнее время, в самый почти день представления, все начали интересоваться: что-то будет? как-то наши? что плац-майор? удастся ли так же, как в запрошлом году? и проч. Баклушин уверял меня, что все актеры подобраны великолепно, каждый «к своему месту». Что даже и занавес будет. Что Филаткину невесту будет играть Сироткин, — и вот сами увидите, каков он в женском-то платье! — говорил он, прищуриваясь и прищелкивая языком. У благодетельной помещицы будет платье с фальбалой, и пелеринка, и зонтик в руках, а благодетельный помещик выйдет в офицерском сюртуке с эксельбантами и с тросточкой. Затем следовала вторая пьеса, драматическая: «Кедрил-обжора». Название меня очень заинтересовало; но как я ни расспрашивал об этой пьесе — ничего не мог узнать предварительно. Узнал только, что взята она не из книги, а по «списку»; что пьесу достали у какого-то отставного унтер-офицера, в форштадте, который, верно, сам когда-нибудь участвовал в представлении ее на какой-нибудь солдатской сцене. У нас в отдаленных городах и губерниях действительно есть такие театральные пьесы, которые, казалось бы, никому не известны, может быть, нигде никогда не напечатаны, но которые сами собой откуда-то явились и составляют необходимую принадлежность всякого народного театра в известной полосе России. Кстати: я сказал «народного театра». Очень бы и очень хорошо было, если б кто из наших изыскателей занялся новыми и более тщательными, чем доселе, исследованиями о народном театре, который есть, существует и даже, может быть, не совсем ничтожный. Я верить не хочу, чтобы все, что я потом видел у нас, в нашем острожном театре, было выдумано нашими же арестантами. Тут необходима преемственность предания, раз установленные приемы и понятия, переходящие из рода в род и по старой памяти. Искать их надо у солдат, у фабричных, в фабричных городах и даже по некоторым незнакомым бедным городкам у мещан. Сохранились тоже они по деревням и по губернским городам между дворнями больших помещичьих домов. Я даже думаю, что многие старинные пьесы расплодились в списках по России не иначе, как через помещицкую дворню. У прежних старинных помещиков и московских бар бывали собственные театры, составленные из крепостных артистов. И вот в этих-то театрах и получилось начало нашего народного драматического искусства, которого признаки несомненны. Что же касается до «Кедрила-обжора», то, как ни желалось мне, я ничего не мог узнать о нем предварительно, кроме того, что на сцене появляются злые духи и уносят Кедрила в ад. Но что такое значит Кедрил и, наконец, почему Кедрил, а не Кирилл? русское ли это или иностранное происшествие? — этого я никак не мог добиться. В заключение объявлялось, что будет представляться «пантомина под музыку». Конечно, все это было очень любопытно. Актеров было человек пятнадцать — все бойкий и бравый народ. Они гомозились про себя, делали репетиции, иногда за казармами, таились, прятались. Одним словом, хотели удивить всех нас чем-то необыкновенным и неожиданным.
В будни острог запирался рано, как только наступала ночь. В рождественский праздник сделано было исключение: не запирали до самой вечерней зари. Эта льгота давалась собственно для театра. В продолжение праздника обыкновенно каждый день, перед вечером, посылали из острога с покорнейшей просьбой к караульному офицеру: «позволить театр и не запирать подольше острога», прибавляя, что и вчера был театр и долго не запирался, а беспорядков никаких не было. Караульный офицер рассуждал так: «Беспорядков действительно вчера не было; а уж как сами слово дают, что не будет и сегодня, значит, сами за собой будут смотреть, а это всего крепче. К тому же не позволь представления, так, пожалуй (кто их знает? народ каторжный!), нарочно что-нибудь напакостят со зла и караульных подведут». Наконец, и то: в карауле стоять скучно, а тут театр, да не просто солдатский, а арестантский, а арестанты народ любопытный: весело посмотреть. А посмотреть караульный офицер всегда вправе.
Приедет дежурный: «Где караульный офицер?» — «Пошел в острог арестантов считать, казармы запирать», — ответ прямой, и оправдание прямое. Таким образом, караульные офицеры каждый вечер в продолжение всего праздника позволяли театр и не запирали казарм вплоть до вечерней зари. Арестанты и прежде знали, что от караула не будет препятствия, и были покойны.
Часу в седьмом пришел за мной Петров, и мы вместе отправились на представление. Из нашей казармы отправились почти все, кроме черниговского старовера и поляков. Поляки только в самое последнее представление, четвертого января, решились побывать в театре, и то после многих уверений, что там и хорошо, и весело, и безопасно. Брезгливость поляков нимало не раздражала каторжных, а встречены они были четвертого января очень вежливо. Их даже пропустили на лучшие места. Что же касается до черкесов и в особенности Исая Фомича, то для них наш театр был истинным наслаждением. Исай Фомич каждый раз давал по три копейки, а в последний раз положил на тарелку десять копеек, и блаженство изображалось на лице его. Актеры положили сбирать с присутствующих, кто сколько даст, на расходы театру и на свое собственное подкрепление. Петров уверял, что меня пустят на одно из первых мест, как бы ни был набит битком театр, на том основании, что я, как богаче других, вероятно, и больше дам, а к тому же и толку больше ихнего знаю. Так и случилось. Но опишу первоначально залу и устройство театра.
Военная казарма наша, в которой устроился театр, была шагов в пятнадцать длиною. С двора вступали на крыльцо, с крыльца в сени, а из сеней в казарму. Эта длинная казарма, как уже и сказал я, была особого устройства: нары тянулись в ней по стене, так что средина комнаты оставалась свободной. Половина комнаты, ближайшая от выхода с крыльца, была отдана зрителям; другая же половина, которая сообщалась с другой казармой, назначалась для самой сцены. Прежде всего меня поразила занавесь. Она натянулась шагов на десять поперек всей казармы. Занавесь была такою роскошью, что действительно было чему подивиться. Кроме того, она была расписана масляной краской: изображались деревья, беседки, пруды и звезды. Составилась она из холста, старого и нового, кто сколько дал и пожертвовал, из старых арестантских онучек и рубах, кое-как сшитых в одно большое полотнище, и, наконец, часть ее, на которую не хватило холста, была просто из бумаги, тоже выпрошенной по листочку в разных канцеляриях и приказах. Наши же маляры, между которыми отличался и «Брюллов» — А-в, позаботились раскрасить и расписать ее. Эффект был удивительный. Такая роскошь радовала даже самых угрюмых и самых щепетильных арестантов, которые, как дошло до представления, оказались все без исключения такими же детьми, как и самые горячие из них и нетерпеливые. Все были очень довольны, даже хвастливо довольны. Освещение состояло из нескольких сальных свечек, разрезанных на части. Перед занавесью стояли две скамейки из кухни, а перед скамейками три-четыре стула, которые нашлись в унтер-офицерской комнате. Стулья назначались на случай, для самых высших лиц офицерского звания. Скамейки же — для унтер-офицеров и инженерных писарей, кондукторов и прочего народа, хотя и начальствующего, но не в офицерских чинах, на случай, если б они заглянули в острог. Так и случилось: посторонние посетители у нас не переводились во весь праздник; иной вечер приходило больше, другой меньше, а в последнее представление так ни одного места на скамьях не оставалось незанятым. И, наконец, уже сзади скамеек, помещались арестанты, стоя, из уважения к посетителям, без фуражек, в куртках или в полушубках, несмотря на удушливый парной воздух комнаты. Конечно, места для арестантов полагалось слишком мало. Но, кроме того, что один буквально сидел на другом, особенно в задних рядах, заняты были еще нары, кулисы, и, наконец, нашлись любители, постоянно ходившие за театр, в другую казарму, и уже оттуда, из-за задней кулисы, высматривавшие представление. Теснота в первой половине казармы была неестественная и равнялась, может быть, тесноте и давке, которую я недавно еще видел в бане. Дверь в сени была отворена; в сенях, в которых было двадцать градусов морозу, тоже толпился народ. Нас, меня и Петрова, тотчас же пропустили вперед, почти к самым скамейкам, где было гораздо виднее, чем в задних рядах. Во мне отчасти видели ценителя, знатока, бывшего и не в таких театрах; видели, что Баклушин все это время советовался со мной и относился ко мне с уважением; мне, стало быть, теперь честь и место. Положим, арестанты были народ тщеславный и легкомысленный в высшей степени, но все это было напускное. Арестанты могли смеяться надо мной, видя, что я плохой им помощник на работе. Алмазов мог с презрением смотреть на нас, дворян, тщеславясь перед нами своим умением обжигать алебастр. Но к гонениям и к насмешкам их над нами примешивалось и другое: мы когда-то были дворяне; мы принадлежали к тому же сословию, как и их бывшие господа, о которых они не могли сохранить хорошей памяти. Но теперь, в театре, они посторонились передо мной. Они признавали, что в этом я могу судить лучше их, что я видал и знаю больше их. Самые не расположенные из них ко мне (я знаю это) желали теперь моей похвалы их театру и безо всякого самоунижения пустили меня на лучшее место. Я сужу теперь, припоминая тогдашнее мое впечатление. Мне тогда же показалось — я помню это, — что в их справедливом суде над собой было вовсе не принижение, а чувство собственного достоинства. Высшая и самая резкая характеристическая черта нашего народа — это чувство справедливости и жажда ее. Петушиной же замашки быть впереди во всех местах и во что бы то ни стало, стоит ли, нет ли того человек, — этого в народе нет. Стоит только снять наружную, наносную кору и посмотреть на самое зерно повнимательнее, поближе, без предрассудков — и иной увидит в народе такие вещи, о которых и не предугадывал. Немногому могут научить народ мудрецы наши. Даже, утвердительно скажу, — напротив: сами они еще должны у него поучиться.
Петров наивно сказал мне, когда мы только еще собирались в театр, что меня пустят вперед и потому еще, что я дам больше денег. Положенной цены не было: всякий давал, что мог или что хотел. Почти все положили что-нибудь, хоть по грошу, когда пошли сбирать на тарелку. Но если меня пустили вперед отчасти и за деньги, в предположении, что я дам больше других, то опять-таки сколько было в этом чувства собственного достоинства! «Ты богаче меня и ступай вперед, и хоть мы здесь все равны, но ты положишь больше: следовательно, такой посетитель, как ты, приятнее для актеров, — тебе и первое место, потому что все мы здесь не за деньги, а из уважения, а следовательно, сортировать себя мы должны уже сами». Сколько в этом настоящей благородной гордости! Это не уважение к деньгам, а уважение к самому себе. Вообще же к деньгам, к богатству, в остроге не было особенного уважения, особенного если смотреть на арестантов на всех безразлично, в массе, в артели. Я не помню даже ни одного из них, серьезно унижавшегося из-за денег, если б пришлось даже рассматривать их и поодиночке. Были попрошайки, выпрашивавшие и у меня. Но в этом попрошайстве было больше шалости, плутовства, чем прямого дела; было больше юмору, наивности. Не знаю, понятно ли я выражаюсь… Но я забыл о театре. К делу.
До поднятия занавеса вся комната представляла странную и оживленную картину. Во-первых, толпа зрителей, сдавленная, сплюснутая, стиснутая со всех сторон, с терпением и с блаженством в лице ожидающая начала представления. В задних рядах люди, гомозящиеся один на другого. Многие из них принесли с собой поленья с кухни: установив кое-как у стенки толстое полено, человек взбирался на него ногами, обеими руками упирался в плеча вперед стоящего и, не изменяя положения, стоял таким образом часа два, совершенно довольный собою и своим местом. Другие укреплялись ногами на печи, на нижней приступке, и точно так же выстаивали все время, опираясь на передовых. Это было в самых задних рядах, у стены. Сбоку, взмостившись на нары, стояла тоже сплошная толпа над музыкантами. Тут были хорошие места. Человек пять взмостились на самую печь и, лежа на ней, смотрели вниз. То-то блаженствовали! На подоконниках по другой стене тоже гомозились целые толпы опоздавших или не нашедших хорошего места. Все вели себя тихо и чинно. Всем хотелось себя выказать перед господами и посетителями с самой лучшей стороны. На всех лицах выражалось самое наивное ожидание. Все лица были красные и смоченные потом от жару и духоты. Что за странный отблеск детской радости, милого, чистого удовольствия сиял на этих изборожденных, клейменых лбах и щеках, в этих взглядах людей, доселе мрачных и угрюмых, в этих глазах, сверкавших иногда страшным огнем! Все были без шапок, и с правой стороны все головы представлялись мне бритыми. Но вот на сцене слышится возня, суетня. Сейчас подымется занавесь. Вот заиграл оркестр… Этот оркестр стоит упоминания. Сбоку, по нарам, разместилось человек восемь музыкантов: две скрипки (одна была в остроге, другую у кого-то заняли в крепости, а артист нашелся и дома), три балалайки — все самодельщина, две гитары и бубен вместо контрабаса. Скрипки только визжали и пилили, гитары были дрянные, зато балалайки были неслыханные. Проворство переборки струн пальцами решительно равнялось самому ловкому фокусу. Игрались вс° плясовые мотивы. В самых плясовых местах балалаечники ударяли костями пальцев о деку балалайки; тон, вкус, исполнение, обращение с инструментами, характер передачи мотива — все было свое, оригинальное, арестантское. Один из гитаристов тоже великолепно знал свой инструмент. Это был тот самый из дворян, который убил своего отца. Что же касается до бубна, то он просто делал чудеса: то завертится на пальце, то большим пальцем проведет по его коже, то слышатся частые, звонкие и однообразные удары, то вдруг этот сильный, отчетливый звук как бы рассыпается горохом на бесчисленное число маленьких, дребезжащих и шушуркающих звуков. Наконец, появились еще две гармонии. Честное слово, я до тех пор не имел понятия о том, что можно сделать из простых, простонародных инструментов; согласие звуков, сыгранность, а главное, дух, характер понятия и передачи самой сущности мотива были просто удивительные. Я в первый раз понял тогда совершенно, что именно есть бесконечно разгульного и удалого в разгульных и удалых русских плясов песнях. Наконец поднялась занавесь. Все пошевелились, все переступили с одной ноги на другую, задние привстали на цыпочки; кто-то упал с полена; все до единого раскрыли рты и уставили глаза, и полнейшее молчание воцарилось… Представление началось.
Подле меня стоял Алей, в группе своих братьев и всех остальных черкесов. Они все страстно привязались к театру и ходили потом каждый вечер. Все мусульмане, татары и проч., как замечал я не один раз, всегда страстные охотники до всяких зрелищ. Подле них прикурнул и Исай Фомич, который, казалось, с поднятием занавеса весь превратился в слух, в зрение и в самое наивное, жадное ожидание чудес и наслаждений. Даже жалко было бы, если б он разочаровался в своих ожиданиях. Милое лицо Алея сияло такой детскою, прекрасною радостью, что, признаюсь, мне ужасно было весело на него смотреть, и я, помню, невольно каждый раз при какой-нибудь смешной и ловкой выходке актера, когда раздавался всеобщий хохот, тотчас же оборачивался к Алею и заглядывал в его лицо. Он меня не видал; не до меня ему было! Очень недалеко от меня, с левой стороны, стоял арестант, пожилой, всегда нахмуренный, всегда недовольный и ворчливый. Он тоже заметил Алея и, я видел, несколько раз с полуулыбкой оборачивался поглядеть на него: так он был мил! «Алей Семеныч» называл он его, не знаю зачем. Начали «Филаткой и Мирошкой». Филатка (Баклушин) был действительно великолепен. Он сыграл свою роль с удивительною отчетливостью. Видно было, что он вдумывался в каждую фразу, в каждое движение свое. Каждому пустому слову, каждому жесту своему он умел придать смысл и значение, совершенно соответственное характеру своей роли. Прибавьте к этому старанию, к этому изучению удивительную, неподдельную веселость, простоту, безыскусственность, и вы, если б видели Баклушина, сами согласились бы непременно, что это настоящий прирожденный актер, с большим талантом. Филатку я видел не раз на московском и петербургском театрах и положительно говорю — столичные актеры, игравшие Филатку, оба играли хуже Баклушина. В сравнении с ним они были пейзане, а не настоящие мужики. Им слишком хотелось представить мужика. Баклушина, сверх того, возбуждало соперничество: всем известно, что во второй пьесе роль Кедрила будет играть арестант Поцейкин, актер, которого все почему-то считали даровитее, лучше Баклушина, и Баклушин страдал от этого, как ребенок. Сколько раз приходил он ко мне в эти последние дни и изливал свои чувства. За два часа до представления его трясла лихорадка. Когда хохотали и кричали ему из толпы: «Лихо, Баклушин! Ай да молодец! » — все лицо его сияло счастьем, настоящее вдохновение блистало в глазах его. Сцена целования с Мирошкой, когда Филатка кричит ему предварительно «утрись!» и сам утирается, вышла уморительно смешна. Все так и покатились со смеху. Но всего занимательнее для меня были зрители; тут уж все были нараспашку. Они отдавались своему удовольствию беззаветно. Крики одобрения раздавались все чаще и чаще. Вот один подталкивает товарища и наскоро сообщает ему свои впечатления, даже не заботясь и, пожалуй, не видя, кто стоит подле него; другой, при какой-нибудь смешной сцене, вдруг с восторгом оборачивается к толпе, быстро оглядывает всех, как бы вызывая всех смеяться, машет рукой и тотчас же опять жадно обращается к сцене. Третий просто прищелкнет языком и пальцами и не может смирно устоять на месте; а так как некуда идти, то только переминается с ноги на ногу. К концу пьесы общее веселое настроение дошло до высшей степени. Я ничего не преувеличиваю. Представьте острог, кандалы, неволю, долгие грустные годы впереди, жизнь, однообразную, как водяная капель в хмурый, осенний день, — и вдруг всем этим пригнетенным и заключенным позволили на часок развернуться, повеселиться, забыть тяжелый сон, устроить целый театр, да еще как устроить: на гордость и на удивление всему городу, — знай, дескать, наших, каковы арестанты! Их, конечно, все занимало, костюмы например. Ужасно любопытно было для них увидеть, например, такого-то Ваньку Отпетого, али Нецветаева, али Баклушина совсем в другом платье, чем в каком столько уж лет их каждый день видели. «Ведь арестант, тот же арестант, у самого кандалы побрякивают, а вот выходит же теперь в сюртуке, в круглой шляпе, в плаще — точно штатский! Усы себе приделал, волосы. Вон платочек красный из кармана вынул, обмахивается, барина представляет, точно сам ни дать ни взять барин!» И все в восторге. Благодетельный помещик вышел в адъютантском мундире, правда очень стареньком, в эполетах, в фуражке с кокардочкой и произвел необыкновенный эффект. На эту роль было два охотника, и — поверят ли? — оба, точно маленькие дети, ужасно поссорились друг с другом за то, кому играть: обоим хотелось показаться в офицерском мундире с эксельбантами! Их уж разнимали другие актеры и присудили большинством голосов отдать роль Нецветаеву, не потому, что он был казистее и красивее другого и таким образом лучше бы походил на барина, а потому, что Нецветаев уверил всех, что он выйдет с тросточкой и будет так ею помахивать и по земле чертить, как настоящий барин и первейший франт, чего Ваньке Отпетому и не представить, потому настоящих господ он никогда и не видывал. И действительно, Нецветаев, как вышел с своей барыней перед публику, только и делал, что быстро и бегло чертил тоненькой камышовой тросточкой, которую откуда-то достал, по земле, вероятно считая в этом признаки самой высшей господственности, крайнего щегольства и фешени. Вероятно, когда-нибудь еще в детстве, будучи дворовым, босоногим мальчишкой, случилось ему увидать красиво одетого барина с тросточкой и плениться его уменьем вертеть ею, и вот впечатление навеки и неизгладимо осталось в душе его, так что теперь, в тридцать лет от роду, припомнилось все, как было, для полного пленения и прельщения всего острога. Нецветаев был до того углублен в свое занятие, что уж и не смотрел ни на кого и никуда, даже говорил, не подымая глаз, и только и делал, что следил за своей тросточкой и за ее кончиком. Благодетельная помещица была тоже в своем роде чрезвычайно замечательна: она явилась в старом, изношенном кисейном платье, смотревшим настоящей тряпкой, с голыми руками и шеей, страшно набеленным и нарумяненным лицом, в спальном коленкоровом чепчике, подвязанном у подбородка, с зонтиком в одной руке и с веером из разрисованной бумаги в другой, которым она беспрерывно обмахивалась. Залп хохоту встретил барыню; да и сама барыня не выдержала и несколько раз принималась хохотать. Играл барыню арестант Иванов. Сироткин, переодетый девушкой, был очень мил. Куплеты тоже сошли хорошо. Одним словом, пьеса кончилась к самому полному и всеобщему удовольствию. Критики не было, да и быть не могло.
Проиграли еще раз увертюру «Сени, мои сени», и вновь поднялась занавесь. Это Кедрил. Кедрил что-то вроде Дон-Жуана; по крайней мере и барина и слугу черти под конец пьесы уносят в ад. Давался целый акт, но это, видно, отрывок; начало и конец затеряны. Толку и смыслу нет ни малейшего. Действие происходит в России, где-то на постоялом дворе. Трактирщик вводит в комнату барина в шинели и в исковерканной шляпе. За ним идет его слуга Кедрил с чемоданом и с завернутой в синюю бумагу курицей. Кедрил в полушубке и в лакейском картузе. Он-то и есть обжора. Играет его арестант Поцейкин, соперник Баклушина; барина играет тот же Иванов, что играл в первой пьесе благодетельную помещицу. Трактирщик, Нецветаев, предуведомляет, что в комнате водятся черти, и скрывается. Барин, мрачный и озабоченный, бормочет про себя, что он это давно знал, и велит Кедрилу разложить вещи и приготовить ужин. Кедрил трус и обжора. Услышав о чертях, он бледнеет и дрожит как лист. Он бы убежал, но трусит барина. Да, сверх того, ему и есть хочется. Он сластолюбив, глуп, хитер по-своему, трус, надувает барина на каждом шагу и в то же время боится его. Это замечательный тип слуги, в котором как-то неясно и отдаленно сказываются черты Лепорелло, и действительно замечательно переданный. Поцейкин с решительным талантом, и, на мой взгляд, актер еще лучше Баклушина. Я, разумеется, встретясь на другой день с Баклушиным, не высказал ему своего мнения вполне: я бы слишком огорчил его. Арестант, игравший барина, сыграл тоже недурно. Вздор он нес ужаснейший, ни на что не похожий; но дикция была правильная, бойкая, жест соответственный. Покамест Кедрил возится с чемоданами, барин ходит в раздумье по сцене и объявляет во всеуслышание, что в нынешний вечер конец его странствованиям. Кедрил любопытно прислушивается, гримасничает, говорит a parte[1] и смешит с каждым словом зрителей. Ему не жаль барина; но он слышал о чертях; ему хочется узнать, что это такое, и вот он вступает в разговоры и в расспросы. Барин наконец объявляет ему, что когда-то в какой-то беде он обратился к помощи ада и черти помогли ему, выручили; но что сегодня срок и, может быть, сегодня же они придут, по условию, за душой его. Кедрил начинает шибко трусить. Но барин не теряет духа и велит ему приготовить ужин. Услыша про ужин, Кедрил оживляется, вынимает курицу, вынимает вино, — и нет-нет, а сам отщипнет от курицы и отведает. Публика хохочет. Вот скрипнула дверь, ветер стучит ставнями; Кедрил дрожит и наскоро, почти бессознательно упрятывает в рот огромный кусок курицы, который и проглотить не может. Опять хохот. «Готово ли?» — кричит барин, расхаживая по комнате. «Сейчас, сударь… я вам… приготовлю», — говорит Кедрил, сам садится за стол и преспокойно начинает уплетать барское кушанье. Публике, видимо, любо проворство и хитрость слуги и то, что барин в дураках. Надо признаться, что и Поцейкин стоил действительно похвалы. Слова: «Сейчас, сударь, я вам приготовлю» — он выговорил превосходно. Сев за стол, он начинает есть с жадностью и вздрагивает с каждым шагом барина, чтоб тот не заметил его проделок; чуть тот повернется на месте, он прячется под столом и тащит с собой курицу. Наконец он утоляет свой первый голод; пора подумать о барине. «Кедрил, скоро ли ты?» — кричит барин. «Готово-с! » — бойко отвечает Кедрил, спохватившись, что барину почти ничего не остается. На тарелке действительно лежит одна куриная ножка. Барин, мрачный и озабоченный, ничего не замечая, садится за стол, а Кедрил с салфеткой становится за его стулом. Каждое слово, каждый жест, каждая гримаса Кедрила, когда он, оборачиваясь к публике, кивает на простофилю барина, встречаются с неудержимым хохотом зрителями. Но вот, только что барин принимается есть, появляются черти. Тут уж ничего понять нельзя, да и черти появляются как-то уж слишком не по-людски: в боковой кулисе отворяется дверь и является что-то в белом, а вместо головы у него фонарь со свечой; другой фантом тоже с фонарем на голове, в руках держит косу. Почему фонари, почему коса, почему черти в белом? никто не может объяснить себе. Впрочем, об этом никто не задумывается. Так уж, верно, тому и быть должно. Барин довольно храбро оборачивается к чертям и кричит им, что он готов, чтоб они брали его. Но Кедрил трусит, как заяц; он лезет под стол, но, несмотря на весь свой испуг, не забывает захватить со стола бутылку. Черти на минуту скрываются; Кедрил вылезает из-за стола; но только что барин принимается опять за курицу, как три черта снова врываются в комнату, подхватывают барина сзади и несут его в преисподнюю. «Кедрил! спасай меня!» — кричит барин. Но Кедрилу не до того. Он в этот раз и бутылку, и тарелку, и даже хлеб стащил под стол. Но вот он теперь один, чертей нет, барина тоже. Кедрил вылезает, осматривается, и улыбка озаряет лицо его. Он плутовски прищуривается, садится на барское место и, кивая публике, говорит полушепотом:
— Ну, я теперь один… без барина!..
Все хохочут тому, что он без барина; но вот он еще прибавляет полушепотом, конфиденциально обращаясь к публике и все веселее и веселее подмигивая глазком:
— Барина-то черти взяли!..
Восторг зрителей беспредельный! Кроме того, что барина черти взяли, это было так высказано, с таким плутовством, с такой насмешливо-торжествующей гримасой, что действительно невозможно не аплодировать. Но недолго продолжается счастье Кедрила. Только было он распорядился бутылкой, налил себе в стакан и хотел пить, как вдруг возвращаются черти, крадутся сзади на цыпочках и цап-царап его под бока. Кедрил кричит во все горло; от трусости он не смеет оборотиться. Защищаться тоже не может: в руках бутылка и стакан, с которыми он не в силах расстаться. Разинув рот от ужаса, он с полминуты сидит, выпуча глаза на публику, с таким уморительным выражением трусливого испуга, что решительно с него можно было писать картину. Наконец его несут, уносят; бутылка с ним, он болтает ногами и кричит, кричит. Крики его раздаются еще за кулисами. Но занавесь опускается, и все хохочут, все в восторге… Оркестр начинает камаринскую.
Начинают тихо, едва слышно, но мотив растет и растет, темп учащается, раздаются молодецкие прищелкиванья по декам балалайки… Это камаринская во всем своем размахе, и, право, было бы хорошо, если б Глинка хоть случайно услыхал ее у нас в остроге. Начинается пантомина под музыку. Камаринская не умолкает во все продолжение пантомины. Представлена внутренность избы. На сцене мельник и жена его. Мельник в одном углу чинит сбрую, в другом углу жена прядет лен. Жену играет Сироткин, мельника Нецветаев.
Замечу, что наши декорации очень бедны. И в этой, и в предыдущей пьесе, и в других вы более дополняете собственным воображением, чем видите глазами. Вместо задней стены протянут какой-то ковер или попона; сбоку какие-то дрянные ширмы. Левая же сторона ничем не заставлена, так что видны нары. Но зрители невзыскательны и соглашаются дополнять воображением действительность, тем более что арестанты к тому очень способны: «Сказано сад, так и почитай за сад; комната так комната, изба так изба — все равно, и церемониться много нечего». Сироткин в костюме молодой бабенки очень мил. Между зрителями раздается вполголоса несколько комплиментов. Мельник кончает работу, берет шапку, берет кнут, подходит к жене и объясняет ей знаками, что ему надо идти, но что если без него жена кого примет, то… и он показывает на кнут. Жена слушает и кивает головой. Этот кнут, вероятно, ей очень знаком: бабенка от мужа погуливает. Муж уходит. Только что он за дверь, жена грозит ему вслед кулаком. Но вот стучат; дверь отворяется, и опять является сосед, тоже мельник, мужик в кафтане и с бородой. В руках у него подарок, красный платок. Бабенка смеется; но только что сосед хочет обнять ее, как в двери опять стук. Куда деваться? Она наскоро прячет его под стол, а сама опять за веретено. Является другой обожатель: это писарь, в военной форме. До сих пор пантомима шла безукоризненно, жест был безошибочно правилен. Можно было даже удивляться, смотря на этих импровизированных актеров, и невольно подумать: сколько сил и таланту погибает у нас на Руси иногда почти даром, в неволе и в тяжкой доле! Но арестант, игравший писаря, вероятно, когда-то был на провинциальном или домашнем театре, и ему вообразилось, что наши актеры, все до единого, не понимают дела и не так хотят, как следует ходить на сцене. И вот он выступает, как, говорят, выступали в старину на театрах классические герои: ступит длинный шаг и, еще не придвинув другой ноги, вдруг остановится, откинет назад весь корпус, голову, гордо поглядит кругом и — ступит другой шаг. Если такая ходьба была смешна в классических героях, то в военном писаре, в комической сцене, еще смешнее. Но публика наша думала, что, вероятно, так там и надо, и длинные шаги долговязого писаря приняла как совершившийся факт, без особенной критики. Едва только писарь успел выйти на середину сцены, как послышался еще стук: хозяйка опять переполошилась. Куда девать писаря? в сундук, благо отперт. Писарь лезет в сундук, и бабенка его накрывает крышкой. На этот раз является гость особенный, тоже влюбленный, но особого свойства. Это брамин и даже в костюме. Неудержимый хохот раздается между зрителями. Брамина играет арестант Кошкин, и играет прекрасно. У него фигура браминская. Жестами объясняет он всю степень любви своей. Он приподымает руки к небу, потом прикладывает их к груди, к сердцу; но только что он успел разнежиться, — раздается сильный удар в дверь. По удару слышно, что это хозяин. Испуганная жена вне себя, брамин мечется как угорелый и умоляет, чтоб его спрятали. Наскоро она становит его за шкаф, а сама, забыв отпереть, бросается к своей пряже и прядет, прядет, не слыша стука в дверь своего мужа, с перепуга сучит нитку, которой у нее нет в руках, и вертит веретено, забыв поднять его с пола. Сироткин очень хорошо и удачно изобразил этот испуг. Но хозяин выбивает дверь ногою и с кнутом в руке подходит к жене. Он все заметил и подкараулил и прямо показывает ей пальцами, что у ней спрятаны трое. Затем ищет спрятанных. Первого находит соседа и провожает его тузанами из комнаты. Струсивший писарь хотел было бежать, приподнял головой крышку и тем сам себя выдал. Хозяин подстегивает его кнутиком, и на этот раз влюбленный писарь прискакивает вовсе не по-классически. Остается брамин; хозяин долго ищет его, наконец находит в углу за шкафом, вежливо откланивается ему и за бороду вытягивает на середину сцены. Брамин пробует защищаться, кричит: «Окаянный, окаянный!» (единственные слова, сказанные в пантомиме), но муж не слушает и расправляется по-свойски. Жена, видя, что дело доходит теперь до нее, бросает пряжу, веретено и бежит из комнаты; донцо́ валится на землю, арестанты хохочут. Алей, не глядя на меня, теребит меня за руку и кричит мне: «Смотри! брамин, брамин!» — а сам устоять не может от смеху. Занавесь падает. Начинается другая сцена…
Но нечего описывать всех сцен. Их было еще две или три. Все они смешны и неподдельно веселы. Если сочинили их не сами арестанты, то по крайней мере в каждую из них положили своего. Почти каждый актер импровизировал от себя, так что в следующие вечера один и тот же актер одну и ту же роль играл несколько иначе. Последняя пантомима, фантастического свойства, заключилась балетом. Хоронился мертвец. Брамин с многочисленной прислугой делает над гробом разные заклинания, но ничего не помогает. Наконец раздается «Солнце на закате», мертвец оживает, и все в радости начинают плясать. Брамин пляшет вместе с мертвецом, и пляшет совершенно особенным образом, по-брамински. Тем и кончается театр, до следующего вечера. Наши все расходятся веселые, довольные, хвалят актеров, благодарят унтер-офицера. Ссор не слышно. Все как-то непривычно довольны, даже как будто счастливы, и засыпают не по-всегдашнему, а почти с спокойным духом, — а с чего бы, кажется? А между тем это не мечта моего воображения. Это правда, истина. Только немного позволили этим бедным людям пожить по-своему, повеселиться по-людски, прожить хоть час не по-острожному — и человек нравственно меняется, хотя бы то было на несколько только минут… Но вот уже глубокая ночь. Я вздрагиваю и просыпаюсь случайно: старик все еще молится на печке и промолится там до самой зари; Алей тихо спит подле меня. Я припоминаю, что, и засыпая, он еще смеялся, толкуя вместе с братьями о театре, и невольно засматриваюсь на его спокойное детское лицо. Мало-помалу я припоминаю все: последний день, праздники, весь этот месяц… в испуге приподымаю голову и оглядываю спящих моих товарищей при дрожащем тусклом свете шестериковой казенной свечи. Я смотрю на их бедные лица, на их бедные постели, на всю эту непроходимую голь и нищету, — всматриваюсь — и точно мне хочется увериться, что все это не продолжение безобразного сна, а действительная правда. Но это правда: вот слышится чей-то стон; кто-то тяжело откинул руку и брякнул цепями. Другой вздрогнул во сне и начал говорить, а дедушка на печи молится за всех «православных христиан», и слышно его мирное, тихое, протяжное: «Господи Иисусе Христе, помилуй нас!..»
«Не навсегда же я здесь, а только ведь на несколько лет!» — думаю я и склоняю опять голову на подушку.

Конец первой части

1. ↑ в сторону (итал. ).

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Часть вторая

I. Госпиталь

Вскоре после праздников я сделался болен и отправился в наш военный госпиталь. Он стоял особняком, в полуверсте от крепости. Это было длинное одноэтажное здание, окрашенное желтой краской. Летом, когда происходили ремонтные работы, на него выходило чрезвычайное количество вохры. На огромном дворе госпиталя помещались службы, дома для медицинского начальства и прочие пригодные постройки. В главном же корпусе располагались одни только палаты. Палат было много, но арестантских всего только две, всегда очень наполненных, но особенно летом, так что приходилось часто сдвигать кровати. Наполнялись наши палаты всякого рода «несчастным народом». Ходили туда наши, ходили разного рода военные подсудимые, содержащиеся на разных абвахтах, решоные, нерешоные и пересылочные; ходили и из исправительной роты — странного заведения, в которое отсылались провинившиеся и малонадежные солдатики из батальонов для поправления своего поведения и откуда года через два и больше они обыкновенно выходили такими мерзавцами, каких на редкость и встретить. Заболевшие из арестантов у нас обыкновенно поутру объявляли о болезни своей унтер-офицеру. Их тотчас же записывали в книгу и с этой книгой отсылали больного с конвойным в батальонный лазарет. Там доктор предварительно свидетельствовал всех больных из всех военных команд, расположенных в крепости, и кого находил действительно больным, записывал в госпиталь. Меня отметили в книге, и во втором часу, когда уже все наши отправились из острога на послеобеденную работу, я пошел в госпиталь. Больной арестант обыкновенно брал с собой сколько мог денег, хлеба, потому что на тот день не мог ожидать себе в госпитале порции, крошечную трубочку и кисет с табаком, кремнем и огнивом. Эти последние предметы тщательно запрятывались в сапоги. Я вступил в ограду госпиталя не без некоторого любопытства к этой новой, не знакомой еще мне варьяции нашего арестантского житья-бытья.
День был теплый, хмурый и грустный — один из тех дней, когда такие заведения, как госпиталь, принимают особенно деловой, тоскливый и кислый вид. Мы с конвойным вошли в приемную, где стояли две медные ванны и где уже дожидались двое больных, из подсудимых, тоже с конвойными. Вошел фельдшер, лениво и со властию оглядел нас и еще ленивее отправился доложить дежурному лекарю. Тот явился скоро; осмотрел, обошелся очень ласково и выдал нам «скорбные листы», в которых были обозначены наши имена. Дальнейшее же расписание болезни, назначение лекарств, порции и проч. предоставлялось уже тому из ординаторов, который заведовал арестантскими палатами. Я уже и прежде слышал, что арестанты не нахвалятся своими лекарями. «Отцов не надо!» — отвечали они мне на мои расспросы, когда я отправлялся в больницу. Между тем мы переоделись. Платье и белье, в котором мы пришли, от нас отобрали и одели нас в белье госпитальное да, сверх того, выдали нам длинные чулки, туфли, колпаки и толстые суконные бурого цвета халаты, подшитые не то холстом, не то каким-то пластырем. Одним словом, халат был до последней степени грязен; но оценил я его вполне уже на месте. Затем нас повели в арестантские палаты, которые были расположены в конце длиннейшего коридора, высокого и чистого. Наружная чистота везде была очень удовлетворительна; все, что с первого раза бросалось в глаза, так и лоснилось. Впрочем, это могло мне так показаться после нашего острога. Двое подсудимых пошли в палату налево, я направо. У двери, замкнутой железным болтом, стоял часовой с ружьем, подле него подчасок. Младший унтер-офицер (из госпитального караула) велел пропустить меня, и я очутился в длинной и узкой комнате, по обеим продольным стенам которой стояли кровати, числом около двадцати двух, между которыми три-четыре еще были не заняты. Кровати были деревянные, окрашенные зеленой краской, слишком знакомые всем и каждому у нас на Руси, — те самые кровати, которые, по какому-то предопределению, никак не могут быть без клопов. Я поместился в углу, на той стороне, где были окна.
Как уже и сказал я, тут были и наши арестанты, из острога. Некоторые из них уже знали меня или по крайней мере видели прежде. Гораздо более было из подсудимых и из исправительной роты. Труднобольных, то есть не встававших с постели, было не так много. Другие же, легкобольные или выздоравливавшие, или сидели на койках, или ходили взад и вперед по комнате, где между двумя рядами кроватей оставалось еще пространство, достаточное для прогулки. В палате был чрезвычайно удушливый, больничный запах. Воздух был заражен разными неприятными испарениями и запахом лекарств, несмотря на то, что почти весь день в углу топилась печка. На моей койке был надет полосатый чехол. Я снял его. Под чехлом оказалось суконное одеяло, подшитое холстом, и толстое белье слишком сомнительной чистоты. Возле койки стоял столик, на котором была кружка и оловянная чашка. Все это для приличия прикрывалось выданным мне маленьким полотенцем. Внизу столика была еще полка: там сохранялись у пивших чай чайники, жбаны с квасом и прочее; но пивших чай между больными было очень немного. Трубки же и кисеты, которые были почти у каждого, не исключая даже и чахоточных, прятались под койки. Доктор и другие из начальников почти никогда их не осматривали, а если и заставали кого с трубкой, то делали вид, что не замечают. Впрочем, и больные были почти всегда осторожны и ходили курить к печке. Разве уж ночью курили прямо с кроватей; но ночью никто не обходил палат, кроме разве иногда офицера, начальника госпитального караула.
До тех пор я никогда не лежал ни в какой больнице; все окружающее потому было для меня чрезвычайно ново. Я заметил, что возбуждаю некоторое любопытство. Обо мне уже слышали и оглядывали меня очень бесцеремонно, даже с оттенком некоторого превосходства, как оглядывают в школах новичка или в присутственных местах просителя. Справа подле меня лежал один подсудимый, писарь, незаконный сын одного отставного капитана. Он судился по фальшивым деньгам и лежал уже с год, кажется ничем не больной, но уверявший докторов, что у него аневризм. Он достиг цели: каторга и телесное наказанье миновали его, и он, еще год спустя, был отослан в Т-к для содержания где-то при больнице. Это был плотный, коренастый парень лет двадцати восьми, большой плут и законник, очень неглупый, чрезвычайно развязный и самонадеянный малый, до болезни самолюбивый, пресерьезно уверивший самого себя, что он честнейший и правдивейший человек в свете и даже вовсе ни в чем не виноватый, и так и оставшийся навсегда с этой уверенностью. Он первый заговорил со мною, с любопытством стал меня расспрашивать и довольно подробно рассказал мне о внешних порядках госпиталя. Разумеется, прежде всего он заявил мне, что он капитанский сын. Ему чрезвычайно хотелось казаться дворянином или по крайней мере «из благородных». Вслед за ним подошел ко мне один больной из исправительной роты и начал уверять, что он знал многих из прежде сосланных дворян, называя их по имени и отчеству. Это был уже седой солдат; на лице его было написано, что он все врет. Звали его Чекунов. Он, очевидно, ко мне подлизывался, вероятно подозревая у меня деньги. Заметив у меня сверток с чаем и сахаром, он тотчас же предложил свои услуги: достать чайник и заварить мне чаю. Чайник мне обещал прислать назавтра М-цкий из острога с кем-нибудь из арестантов, ходивших в госпиталь на работу. Но Чекунов обделал все дело. Он достал какой-то чугунок, даже чашку, вскипятил воду, заварил чаю — одним словом, услуживал с необыкновенным усердием, чем возбудил тотчас же в одном из больных несколько ядовитых насмешек на свой счет. Этот больной был чахоточный, лежавший напротив меня, по фамильи Устьянцев, из подсудимых солдат, тот самый, который, испугавшись наказания, выпил кружку вина, крепко настояв в нем табаку, и тем нажил себе чахотку; о нем я уже упоминал как-то прежде. До сих пор он лежал молча и трудно дыша, пристально и серьезно ко мне приглядываясь и с негодованием следя за Чекуновым. Необыкновенная, желчная серьезность придавала какой-то особенно комический оттенок его негодованию. Наконец он не выдержал:
— Ишь, холоп! Нашел барина! — проговорил он с расстановками и задыхающимся от бессилия голосом. Он был уже в последних днях своей жизни.
Чекунов с негодованием оборотился к нему:
— Это кто холоп? — произнес он, презрительно глядя на Устьянцева.
— Ты холоп! — отвечал тот таким самоуверенным тоном, как будто имел полное право распекать Чекунова и даже был приставлен к нему для этой цели.
— Я холоп?
— Ты и есть. Слышите, добрые люди, не верит! Удивляется!
— Да тебе-то что! Вишь, они одни, как без рук. Без слуги непривычно, известно. Почему не услужить, мохнорылый ты шут!
— Это кто мохнорылый?
— Ты мохнорылый.
— Я мохнорылый?
— Ты и есть!
— А ты красавец? У самого лицо, как воронье яйцо… коли я мохнорылый.
— Мохнорылый и есть! Ведь уж бог убил, лежал бы себе да помирал! Нет, туда же, сбирает! Ну, чего сбираешь!
— Чего! Нет, уж я лучше сапогу поклонюсь, а не лаптю. Отец мой не кланялся и мне не велел. Я… я…
Он было хотел продолжать, но страшно закашлялся на несколько минут, выплевывая кровью. Скоро холодный, изнурительный пот выступил на узеньком лбу его. Кашель мешал ему, а то бы он все говорил; по глазам его видно было, как хотелось ему еще поругаться; но в бессилии он только отмахивался рукою… Так что Чекунов под конец уж и позабыл его.
Я почувствовал, что злость чахоточного направлена скорее на меня, чем на Чекунова. За желание Чекунова подслужиться и тем достать копейку никто бы не стал на него сердиться или смотреть на него с особым презрением. Всяк понимал, что он это делает просто из-за денег. На этот счет простой народ вовсе не так щепетилен и чутко умеет различать дело. Устьянцеву не понравился собственно я, не понравился ему мой чай и то, что я и в кандалах, как барин, как будто не могу обойтись без прислуги, хотя я вовсе не звал и не желал никакой прислуги. Действительно, мне всегда хотелось все делать самому, и даже я особенно желал, чтоб и виду не подавать о себе, что я белоручка, неженка, барствую. В этом отчасти состояло даже мое самолюбие, если уж к слову сказать пришлось. Но вот, — и решительно не понимаю, как это всегда так случалось, — но я никогда не мог отказаться от разных услужников и прислужников, которые сами ко мне навязывались и под конец овладевали мной совершенно, так что они по-настоящему были моими господами, а я их слугой; а по наружности и выходило как-то само собой, что я действительно барин, не могу обойтись без прислуги и барствую. Это, конечно, было мне очень досадно. Но Устьянцев был чахоточный, раздражительный человек. Прочие же из больных соблюдали вид равнодушия, даже с некоторым оттенком высокомерия. Помню, все были заняты одним особенным обстоятельством: из арестантских разговоров я узнал, что в тот же вечер приведут к нам одного подсудимого, которого в эту минуту наказывают шпицрутенами. Арестанты ждали новичка с некоторым любопытством. Говорили, впрочем, что наказанье будет легкое — всего только пятьсот.
Понемногу я огляделся кругом. Сколько я мог заметить, действительно больные лежали здесь все более цынготною и глазною болезнями — местными болезнями тамошнего края. Таких было в палате несколько человек. Из других, действительно больных, лежали лихорадками, разными болячками, грудью. Здесь не так, как в других палатах, здесь были собраны в кучу все болезни, даже венерические. Я сказал — действительно больных, потому что было несколько и пришедших так, безо всякой болезни, «отдохнуть». Доктора допускали таких охотно, из сострадания, особенно когда было много пустых кроватей. Содержание на абвахтах и в острогах казалось сравнительно с госпитальным до того плохо, что многие арестанты с удовольствием приходили лежать, несмотря на спертый воздух и запертую палату. Были даже особенные любители лежать и вообще госпитального житья-бытья; всех более, впрочем, из исправительной роты. Я с любопытством осматривал моих новых товарищей, но, помню, особенное любопытство тогда же возбудил во мне один, уже умиравший, из нашего острога, тоже чахоточный и тоже в последних днях, лежавший через кровать от Устьянцева и, таким образом, тоже почти против меня. Звали его Михайлов; еще две недели тому назад я видел его в остроге. Он давно уже был болен, и давно бы пора ему было идти лечиться; но он с каким-то упорным и совершенно ненужным терпением преодолевал себя, крепился и только на праздниках ушел в госпиталь, чтоб умереть в три недели от ужасной чахотки; точно сгорел человек. Меня поразило теперь его страшно изменившееся лицо, — лицо, которое я из первых заметил по вступлении моем в острог; оно мне тогда как-то в глаза кинулось. Подле него лежал один исправительный солдат, уже старый человек, страшный и отвратительный неряха… Но, впрочем, не пересчитывать же всех больных… Я вспомнил теперь и об этом старикашке единственно потому, что он произвел на меня тогда тоже некоторое впечатление и в одну минуту успел дать мне довольно полное понятие о некоторых особенностях арестантской палаты. У этого старичонки, помню, был тогда сильнейший насморк. Он все чихал и всю неделю потом чихал даже и во сне, как-то залпами, по пяти и по шести чихов за раз, аккуратно каждый раз приговаривая: «Господи, далось же такое наказанье! » В ту минуту он сидел на постели и с жадностью набивал себе нос табаком из бумажного сверточка, чтоб сильнее и аккуратнее прочихаться. Чихал он в бумажный платок, собственный, клетчатый, раз сто мытый и до крайности полинялый, причем как-то особенно морщился его маленький нос, слагаясь в мелкие бесчисленные морщинки, и выставлялись осколки старых, почернелых зубов вместе с красными слюнявыми деснами. Прочихавшись, он тотчас же развертывал платок, внимательно рассматривал обильно накопившуюся в нем мокроту и немедленно смазывал ее на свой бурый казенный халат, так что вся мокрота оставалась на халате, а платок только что разве оставался сыренек. Так он делал всю неделю. Это копотливое, скряжническое сбережение собственного платка в ущерб казенному халату вовсе не возбуждало со стороны больных никакого протеста, хотя кому-нибудь из них же после него пришлось бы надеть этот же самый халат. Но наш простой народ небрезглив и негадлив даже до странности. Меня же так и покоробило в ту минуту, и я тотчас же с омерзением и любопытством невольно начал осматривать только что надетый мною халат. Тут я заметил, что он уже давно возбуждал мое внимание своими сильными запахом; он успел уже на мне нагреться и пахнул все сильнее и сильнее лекарствами, пластырями и, как мне казалось, каким-то гноем, что было немудрено, так как он с незапамятных лет не сходил с плеч больных. Может быть, холщовую подкладку его на спине и промывали когда-нибудь; но наверно не знаю. Зато в настоящее время эта подкладка была пропитана всеми возможными неприятными соками, примочками, пролившеюся водою из прорезанных мушек и проч. К тому же в арестантские палаты очень часто являлись только что наказанные шпицрутенами, с израненными спинами; их лечили примочками, и потому халат, надевавшийся прямо на мокрую рубашку, никаким образом не мог не портиться: так все на нем и оставалось. И все время мое в остроге, все эти несколько лет, как только мне случалось бывать в госпитале (а бывал я частенько), я каждый раз с боязливостью надевал халат. Особенно же не нравились мне иногда встречавшиеся в этих халатах вши, крупные и замечательно жирные. Арестанты с наслаждением казнили их, так что когда под толстым, неуклюжим арестантским ногтем щелкнет, бывало, казненный зверь, то даже по лицу охотника можно было судить о степени полученного им удовлетворения. Очень тоже не любили у нас клопов и тоже, бывало, подымались иногда всей палатой истреблять их в иной длинный, скучный зимний вечер. И хотя в палате, кроме тяжелого запаху, снаружи все было по возможности чисто, но внутренней, так сказать подкладочной, чистотой у нас далеко не щеголяли. Больные привыкли к этому и даже считали, что так и надо, да и самые порядки к особенной чистоте не располагали. Но о порядках я скажу после…
Только что Чекунов подал мне чай (мимоходом сказать, на палатной воде, которая приносилась разом на целые сутки и как-то слишком скоро портилась в нашем воздухе), отворилась с некоторым шумом дверь, и за усиленным конвоем введен был только что наказанный шпицрутенами солдатик. Это было в первый раз, как я видел наказанного. Впоследствии их приводили часто, иных даже приносили (слишком уж тяжело наказанных), и каждый раз это доставляло большое развлечение больным. Встречали у нас такового обыкновенно с усиленно-строгим выражением лиц и с какою-то даже несколько натянутою серьезностью. Впрочем, прием отчасти зависел и от степени важности преступления, а следственно, и от количества наказания. Очень больно битый и, по репутации, большой преступник пользовался и бо’льшим уважением и бо’льшим вниманием, чем какой-нибудь бежавший рекрутик, вот как тот, например, которого привели теперь. Но и в том и в другом случае ни особенных сожалений, ни каких-нибудь особенно раздражительных замечаний не делалось. Молча помогали несчастному и ухаживали за ним, особенно если он не мог обойтись без помощи. Фельдшера уже сами знали, что сдают битого в опытные и искусные руки. Помощь обыкновенно была в частой и необходимой перемене смоченной в холодной воде простыни и рубашки, которою одевали истерзанную спину, особенно если наказанный сам уже был не в силах наблюдать за собой, да, кроме того, в ловком выдергивании заноз из болячек, которые зачастую остаются в спине от сломавшихся об нее палок. Последняя операция обыкновенно очень бывает неприятна больному. Но вообще меня всегда удивляла необыкновенная стойкость в перенесении боли наказанными. Много я их перевидал, иногда уже слишком битых, и почти ни один из них не стонал! Только лицо как будто все изменится, побледнеет; глаза горят; взгляд рассеянный, беспокойный, губы трясутся, так что бедняга нарочно прикусывает их, бывало, чуть не до крови зубами. Вошедший солдатик был парень лет двадцати трех, крепкого, мускулистого сложения, красивого лица, стройный, смуглотелый. Спина его была, впрочем, порядочно побита. Сверху до самой поясницы все тело было обнажено; на плеча его была накинута мокрая простыня, от которой он дрожал всеми членами, как в лихорадке, и часа полтора ходил взад и вперед по палате. Я вглядывался в его лицо: казалось, он ни о чем не думал в эту минуту, смотрел странно и дико, беглым взглядом, которому, видимо, тяжело было остановиться на чем-нибудь внимательно. Мне показалось, что он пристально посмотрел на мой чай. Чай был горячий; пар валил из чашки, а бедняк иззяб и дрожал, стуча зуб об зуб. Я пригласил его выпить. Он молча и круто повернул ко мне, взял чашку, выпил стоя и без сахару, причем очень торопился и как-то особенно старался не глядеть на меня. Выпив все, он молча поставил чашку и, даже не кивнув мне головою, пошел опять сновать взад и вперед по палате. Но ему было не до слов и не до кивания! Что же касается до арестантов, то все они сначала почему-то избегали всякого разговору с наказанным рекрутиком; напротив, помогши ему вначале, они как будто сами старались потом не обращать на него более никакого внимания, может быть желая как можно более дать ему покоя и не докучать ему никакими дальнейшими допросами и «участиями», чем он, кажется, был совершенно доволен.
Между тем смеркалось, зажгли ночник. У некоторых из арестантов оказались даже свои собственные подсвечники, впрочем очень не у многих. Наконец, уже после вечернего посещения доктора, вошел караульный унтер-офицер, сосчитал всех больных, и палату заперли, внеся в нее предварительно ночной ушат… Я с удивлением узнал, что этот ушат остается здесь всю ночь, тогда как настоящее ретирадное место было тут же в коридоре, всего только два шага от дверей. Но уж таков был заведенный порядок. Днем арестанта еще выпускали из палаты, впрочем не более как на одну минуту; ночью же ни под каким видом. Арестантские палаты не походили на обыкновенные, и больной арестант даже и в болезни нес свое наказание. Кем первоначально заведен был этот порядок — не знаю; знаю только, что настоящего порядка в этом не было никакого и что никогда вся бесполезная сушь формалистики не выказывалась крупнее, как, например, в этом случае. Порядок этот шел, разумеется, не от докторов. Повторяю: арестанты не нахвалились своими лекарями, считали их за отцов, уважали их. Всякий видел от них себе ласку, слышал доброе слово; а арестант, отверженный всеми, ценил это, потому что видел неподдельность и искренность этого доброго слова и этой ласки. Она могла и не быть; с лекарей бы никто не спросил, если б они обращались иначе, то есть грубее и бесчеловечнее: следственно, они были добры из настоящего человеколюбия. И, уж разумеется, они понимали, что больному, кто бы он ни был, арестант ли, нет ли, нужен такой же, например, свежий воздух, как и всякому другому больному, даже самого высшего чина. Больные в других палатах, выздоравливающие, например, могли свободно ходить по коридорам, задавать себе большой моцион, дышать свежим воздухом, не настолько отравленным, как воздух палатный, спертый и всегда необходимо наполненный удушливыми испарениями. И страшно и гадко представить себе теперь, до какой же степени должен был отравляться этот и без того уже отравленный воздух по ночам у нас, когда вносили этот ушат, при теплой температуре палаты и при известных болезнях, при которых невозможно обойтись без выхода. Если я сказал, что арестант и в болезни нес свое наказание, то, разумеется, не предполагал и не предполагаю, что такой порядок устроен был именно только для одного наказания. Разумеется, это была бы бессмысленная с моей стороны клевета. Больных уже нечего наказывать. А если так, то само собою разумеется, что, вероятно, какая-нибудь строгая, суровая необходимость принуждала начальство к такой вредной по своим последствиям мере. Какая же? Но вот тем-то и досадно, что ничем другим нельзя хоть сколько-нибудь объяснить необходимость этой меры и, сверх того, многих других мер, до того непонятных, что не только объяснить, но даже предугадать объяснение их невозможно. Чем объяснить такую бесполезную жестокость? Тем, видите ли, что арестант придет в больницу, нарочно притворившись больным, обманет докторов, выйдет ночью в сортир и, пользуясь темнотою, убежит? Серьезно доказывать всю нескладность такого рассуждения почти невозможно. Куда убежит? Как убежит? В чем убежит? Днем выпускают по одному; так же могло бы быть и ночью. У двери стоит часовой с заряженным ружьем. Ретирадное место буквально в двух шагах от часового, но, несмотря на то, туда сопровождает больного подчасок и не спускает с него глаз все время. Там только одно окно, по-зимнему с двумя рамами и с железной решеткой. Под окном же на дворе, у самых окон арестантских палат, тоже ходит всю ночь часовой. Чтоб выйти в окно, нужно выбить раму и решетку. Кто же это позволит? Но положим, он убьет предварительно подчаска, так что тот и не пикнет и никто того не услышит. Но, допустив даже эту нелепость, нужно ведь все-таки ломать окно и решетку. Заметьте, что тут же подле часового спят палатные сторожа, а в десяти шагах, у другой арестантской палаты, стоит другой часовой с ружьем, возле него другой подчасок и другие сторожа. И куда бежать зимой в чулках, в туфлях, в больничном халате и в колпаке? А если так, если так мало опасности (то есть по-настоящему совершенно нет никакой), — для чего такое серьезное отягощение больных, может быть в последние дни и часы их жизни, больных, которым свежий воздух еще нужней, чем здоровым? Для чего? Я никогда не мог понять этого…
Но если уж спрошено раз: «Для чего?», и так как уж пришлось к слову, то не могу не вспомнить теперь и еще об одном недоумении, столько лет торчавшем передо мной в виде самого загадочного факта, на который я тоже никаким образом не мог подыскать ответа. Не могу не сказать об этом хотя несколько слов, прежде чем приступлю к продолжению моего описания. Я говорю о кандалах, от которых не избавляет никакая болезнь решенного каторжника. Даже чахоточные умирали на моих глазах в кандалах. И между тем все к этому привыкли, все считали это чем-то совершившимся, неотразимым. Вряд ли даже и задумывался кто-нибудь об этом, когда даже и из докторов никому и в ум не пришло, во все эти несколько лет, хоть один раз походатайствовать у начальства о расковке труднобольного арестанта, особенно в чахотке. Положим, кандалы сами по себе не бог знает какая тягость. Весу они бывают от восьми до двенадцати фунтов. Носить десять фунтов здоровому человеку неотягчительно. Говорили мне, впрочем, что от кандалов после нескольких лет начинают будто бы ноги сохнуть. Не знаю, правда ли это, хотя, впрочем, тут есть некоторая вероятность. Тягость, хоть и малая, хоть и в десять фунтов, прицепленная к ноге навсегда, все-таки ненормально увеличивает вес члена и чрез долгое время может оказать некоторое вредное действие… Но положим, что для здорового все ничего. Так ли для больного? Положим, что и обыкновенному больному ничего. Но таково ли, повторяю, для труднобольных, таково ли, повторяю, для чахоточных, у которых и без того уже сохнут руки и ноги, так что всякая соломинка становится тяжела? И, право, если б медицинское начальство выхлопотало облегчение хотя бы только одним чахоточным, то уж и это одно было бы истинным и великим благодеянием. Положим, скажет кто-нибудь, что арестант злодей и недостоин благодеяний; но ведь неужели же усугублять наказание тому, кого уже и так коснулся перст божий? Да и поверить нельзя, чтоб это делалось для одного наказания. Чахоточный и по суду избавляется от наказания телесного. Следственно, тут опять-таки заключается какая-нибудь таинственная, важная мера, в видах спасительной предосторожности. Но какая? — понять нельзя. Ведь нельзя же в самом деле бояться, что чахоточный убежит. Кому это придет в голову, особенно имея в виду известную степень развития болезни? Прикинуться же чахоточным, обмануть докторов, чтоб убежать, — невозможно. Не такая болезнь; ее с первого взгляда видно. Да и кстати сказать: неужели заковывают человека в ножные кандалы для того только, чтоб он не бежал или чтоб это помешало ему бежать? Совсем нет. Кандалы — одно шельмование, стыд и тягость, физическая и нравственная. Так по крайней мере предполагается. Бежать же они никогда никому помешать не могут. Самый неумелый, самый неловкий арестант сумеет их без большого труда очень скоро подпилить или сбить заклепку камнем. Ножные кандалы решительно ни от чего не предостерегают; а если так, если назначаются они решеному каторжному только для одного наказания, то опять спрашивают: неужели ж наказывать умирающего?
И вот теперь, как я пишу это, ярко припоминается мне один умирающий, чахоточный, тот самый Михайлов, который лежал почти против меня, недалеко от Устьянцева, и который умер, помнится, на четвертый день по прибытии моем в палату. Может быть, я и заговорил теперь о чахоточных, невольно повторяя те впечатления и те мысли, которые тогда же пришли мне в голову по поводу этой смерти. Самого Михайлова, впрочем, я мало знал. Это был еще очень молодой человек, лет двадцати пяти, не более, высокий, тонкий и чрезвычайно благообразной наружности. Он жил в особом отделении и был до странности молчалив, всегда как-то тихо, как-то спокойно грустный. Точно он «засыхал» в остроге. Так по крайней мере о нем потом выражались арестанты, между которыми он оставил о себе хорошую память. Вспоминаю только, что у него были прекрасные глаза, и, право, не знаю, почему он мне так отчетливо вспоминается. Он умер часа в три пополудни, в морозный и ясный день. Помню, солнце так и пронизывало крепкими лучами зеленые слегка подмерзшие стекла в окнах нашей палаты. Целый поток их лился на несчастного. Умер он не в памяти и тяжело, долго отходил, несколько часов сряду. Еще с утра глаза его уже начинали не узнавать подходивших к нему. Его хотели как-нибудь облегчить, видели, что ему очень тяжело; дышал он трудно, глубоко, с хрипеньем; грудь его высоко подымалась, точно ему воздуху было мало. Он сбил с себя одеяло, всю одежду и, наконец, начал срывать с себя рубашку: даже и та казалась ему тяжелою. Ему помогли и сняли с него и рубашку. Страшно было смотреть на это длинное-длинное тело, с высохшими до кости ногами и руками, с опавшим животом, с поднятою грудью, с ребрами, отчетливо рисовавшимися, точно у скелета. На всем теле его остались один только деревянный крест с ладонкой и кандалы, в которые, кажется, он бы теперь мог продеть иссохшую ногу. За полчаса до смерти его все у нас как будто притихли, стали разговаривать чуть не шепотом. Кто ходил — ступал как-то неслышно. Разговаривали меж собой мало, о вещах посторонних, изредка только взглядывали на умиравшего, который хрипел все более и более. Наконец он блуждающей и нетвердой рукой нащупал на груди свою ладонку и начал рвать ее с себя, точно и та была ему в тягость, беспокоила, давила его. Сняли и ладонку. Минут через десять он умер. Стукнули в дверь к караульному, дали продолжение своей каторги не украл ничего, не сделал ни одного дурного знать. Вошел сторож, тупо посмотрел на мертвеца и отправился к фельдшеру. Фельдшер, молодой и добрый малый, немного излишне занятый своею наружностью, довольно, впрочем, счастливою, явился скоро; быстрыми шагами, ступая громко по притихшей палате, подошел к покойнику и с каким-то особенно развязным видом, как будто нарочно выдуманным для этого случая, взял его за пульс, пощупал, махнул рукою и вышел. Тотчас же отправились дать знать караулу: преступник был важный, особого отделения; его и за мертвого-то признать надо было с особыми церемониями. В ожидании караульных кто-то из арестантов тихим голосом подал мысль, что не худо бы закрыть покойнику глаза. Другой внимательно его выслушал, молча подошел к мертвецу и закрыл глаза. Увидев тут же лежавший на подушке крест, взял его, осмотрел и молча надел его опять Михайлову на шею; надел и перекрестился. Между тем мертвое лицо костенело; луч света играл на нем; рот был полураскрыт, два ряда белых, молодых зубов сверкали из-под тонких, прилипших к деснам губ. Наконец вошел караульный унтер-офицер при тесаке и в каске, за ним два сторожа. Он подходил, все более и более замедляя шаги, с недоумением посматривая на затихших и со всех сторон глядевших на него арестантов. Подойдя на шаг к мертвецу, он остановился как вкопанный, точно оробел. Совершенно обнаженный, иссохший труп, в одних кандалах, поразил его, и он вдруг отстегнул чешую, снял каску, чего вовсе не требовалось, и широко перекрестился. Это было суровое, седое, служилое лицо. Помню, в это же самое мгновенье тут же стоял Чекунов, тоже седой старик. Все время он молча и пристально смотрел в лицо унтер-офицера, прямо в упор, и с каким-то странным вниманием вглядывался в каждый жест его. Но глаза их встретились, и у Чекунова вдруг отчего-то дрогнула нижняя губа. Он как-то странно скривил ее, оскалил зубы и быстро, точно нечаянно кивнув унтер-офицеру на мертвеца, проговорил:
— Тоже ведь мать была! — и отошел прочь.
Помню, эти слова меня точно пронзили… И для чего он их проговорил, и как пришли они ему в голову? Но вот труп стали поднимать, подняли вместе с койкой; солома захрустела, кандалы звонко, среди всеобщей тишины, брякнули об пол… Их подобрали. Тело понесли. Вдруг все громко заговорили. Слышно было, как унтер-офицер, уже в коридоре, посылал кого-то за кузнецом. Следовало расковать мертвеца…
Но я отступил от предмета…

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II. Продолжение

Доктора обходили палаты поутру; часу в одиннадцатом являлись они у нас все вместе, сопровождая главного доктора, а прежде них, часа за полтора, посещал палату наш ординатор. В то время у нас был ординатором один молоденький лекарь, знающий дело, ласковый, приветливый, которого очень любили арестанты и находили в нем только один недостаток: «слишком уж смирен». В самом деле, он был как-то неразговорчив, даже как будто конфузился нас, чуть не краснел, изменял порции чуть не по первой просьбе больных и даже, кажется, готов был назначать им и лекарства по их же просьбе. Впрочем, он был славный молодой человек. Надо признаться, много лекарей на Руси пользуются любовью и уважением простого народа, и это, сколько я заметил, совершенная правда. Знаю, что мои слова покажутся парадоксом, особенно взяв в соображение всеобщее недоверие всего русского простого народа к медицине и к заморским лекарствам. В самом деле, простолюдин скорее несколько лет сряду, страдая самою тяжелою болезнию, будет лечиться у знахарки или своими домашними, простонародными лекарствами (которыми отнюдь не надо пренебрегать), чем пойдет к доктору или лежать в госпитале. Но, кроме того, что тут есть одно чрезвычайно важное обстоятельство, совершенно не относящееся к медицине, именно: всеобщее недоверие всего простолюдья ко всему, что носит на себе печать административного, форменного; кроме того, народ запуган и предубежден против госпиталей разными страхами, россказнями, нередко нелепыми, но иногда имеющими свое основание. Но, главное, его пугают немецкие порядки госпиталя, чужие люди кругом во все продолжение болезни, строгости насчет еды, рассказы о настойчивой суровости фельдшеров и лекарей, о взрезывании и потрошении трупов и проч. К тому же, рассуждает народ, господа лечить будут, потому что лекаря все-таки господа. Но при более близком знакомстве с лекарями (хотя и не без исключений, но большею частию) все эти страхи исчезают очень скоро, что, по моему мнению, прямо относится к чести докторов наших, преимущественно молодых. Большая часть их умеют заслужить уважение и даже любовь простонародья. По крайней мере я пишу о том, что сам видел и испытал неоднократно и во многих местах, и не имею оснований думать, чтоб в других местах слишком часто поступалось иначе. Конечно, в некоторых уголках лекаря берут взятки, сильно пользуются от своих больниц, почти пренебрегают больными, даже забывают совсем медицину. Это еще есть; но я говорю про большинство или, лучше сказать, про тот дух, про то направление, которое осуществляется теперь, в наши дни, в медицине. Те же, отступники дела, волки в овечьем стаде, что бы ни представляли в свое оправдание, как бы ни оправдывались, например хоть средой, которая заела и их в свою очередь, всегда будут неправы, особенно если при этом потеряли и человеколюбие. А человеколюбие, ласковость, братское сострадание к больному иногда нужнее ему всех лекарств. Пора бы нам перестать апатически жаловаться на среду, что она нас заела. Это, положим, правда, что она многое в нас заедает, да не все же, и часто иной хитрый и понимающий дело плут преловко прикрывает и оправдывает влиянием этой среды не одну свою слабость, а нередко и просто подлость, особенно если умеет красно говорить или писать. Впрочем, я опять отбился от темы; я хотел только сказать, что простой народ недоверчив и враждебен более к администрации медицинской, а не у лекарям. Узнав, каковы они на деле, он быстро теряет многие из своих предубеждений. Прочая же обстановка наших лечебниц до сих пор во многом не соответствует духу народа, до сих пор враждебна своими порядками привычками нашего простолюдья и не в состоянии приобрести полного доверия и уважения народного. Так мне по крайней мере кажется из некоторых моих собственных впечатлений.
Наш ординатор обыкновенно останавливался перед каждым больным, серьезно и чрезвычайно осматривал его и опрашивал, назначал лекарства, порции. Иногда он и сам замечал, что больной ничем не болен; но так как арестант пришел отдохнуть от работы или полежать на тюфяке, вместо голых досок, и, наконец, все-таки в теплой комнате, а не в сырой кордегардии, где в тесноте содержатся густые кучи бледных и испитых подсудимых (подсудимые у нас почти всегда, на всей Руси, бледные и испитые — признак, что их содержание и душевное состояние почти всегда тяжелее, чем у решоных), то наш ординатор спокойно записывал им какую-нибудь febris catarhalis[2] и оставлял лежать иногда даже на неделю. Над этой febris catarhalis все смеялись у нас. Знали очень хорошо, что это принятая у нас, по какому-то обоюдному согласию между доктором и больным, формула для обозначения притворной болезни; «запасные колотья», как переводили сами арестанты febris catarhalis. Иногда больной злоупотреблял мягкосердием лекаря и продолжал лежать до тех пор, пока его не выгоняли силой. Тогда нужно было посмотреть на нашего ординатора: он как будто робел, как будто стыдился прямо сказать больному, чтоб он выздоравливал и скорее бы просился на выписку, хотя и имел полное право просто-запросто безо всяких разговоров и умасливаний выписать его, написав ему в скорбном листе sanat est[3]. Он сначала намекал ему, потом как бы упрашивал: «Не пора ли, дескать? ведь уж ты почти здоров, в палате тесно»— и проч. и проч., до тех пор, пока больному самому становилось совестно и он сам наконец просился на выписку. Старший доктор хоть был и человеколюбивый и честный человек (его тоже очень любили больные), но был несравненно суровее, решительнее ординатора, даже при случае выказывал суровую строгость, и за это его у нас как-то особенно уважали. Он являлся в сопровождении всех госпитальных лекарей, после ординатора, тоже свидетельствовал каждого поодиночке, особенно останавливался над трудными больными, всегда умел сказать им доброе, ободрительное, часто даже задушевное слово и вообще производил хорошее впечатление. Пришедших с «запасными колотьями» он никогда не отвергал и не отсылал назад; но если больной сам упорствовал, то просто-запросто выписывал его: «Ну что ж, брат, полежал довольно, отдохнул, ступай, надо честь знать». Упорствовали обыкновенно или ленивые до работ, особенно в рабочее, летнее время, или из подсудимых, ожидавших себе наказания. Помню, с одним из таких употреблена была особенная строгость, жестокость даже, чтоб склонить его к выписке. Пришел он с глазною болезнию: глаза красные, жалуется на сильную колючую боль в глазах. Его стали лечить мушками, пиявками, брызгами в глаза какой-то разъедающей жидкостью и проч., но болезнь все-таки не проходила, глаза не очищались. Мало-помалу догадались доктора, что болезнь притворная: воспаление постоянно небольшое, хуже не делается, да и не вылечивается, все в одном положении, случай подозрительный. Арестанты все давно уже знали, что он притворяется и людей обманывает, хотя он сам и не признавался в этом. Это был молодой парень, даже красивый собой, но производивший какое-то неприятное впечатление на всех нас: скрытный, подозрительный, нахмуренный, ни с кем не говорит, глядит исподлобья, от всех таится, точно всех подозревает. Я помню — иным даже приходило в голову, чтоб он не сделал чего-нибудь. Он был солдат, сильно проворовался, был уличен, и ему выходили тысяча палок и арестантские роты. Чтоб отдалить минуту наказания, как я уже упоминал прежде, решаются иногда подсудимые на страшные выходки: пырнет ножом накануне казни кого-нибудь из начальства или своего же брата арестанта, его и судят по-новому, и отдаляется наказание еще месяца на два, и цель его достигается. Ему нужды нет до того, что его будут наказывать через два же месяца вдвое, втрое суровее; только бы теперь-то отдалить грозную минуту хоть на несколько дней, а там что бы ни было — до того бывает иногда силен упадок духа в этих несчастных. У нас иные уже шептались промеж себя, чтоб остерегаться его: пожалуй, зарежет кого-нибудь ночью. Впрочем, так только говорили, а особенных предосторожностей никаких не брали даже те, у которых койки приходились с ним рядом. Видели, впрочем, что он по ночам растирает глаза известкой со штукатурки и чем-то еще другим, чтоб к утру они опять стали красные. Наконец главный доктор погрозил ему заволокой. В упорной глазной болезни, продолжающейся долго и когда уже все медицинские средства бывают испытаны, чтоб спасти зрение, доктора решаются на сильное и мучительное средство: ставят больному заволоку, точно лошади. Но бедняк и тут не согласился выздороветь. Что за упрямый был это характер, или уж слишком трусливый: ведь заволока была хоть и не так, как палки, но тоже очень мучительна. Больному собирают сзади на шее кожу рукой, сколько можно захватить, протыкают все захваченное тело ножом, отчего происходит широкая и длинная рана по всему затылку, и продевают в эту рану холстинную тесемку, довольно широкую, почти в палец; потом каждый день, в определенный час, эту тесемку передергивают в ране, так что как будто вновь ее разрезают, чтоб рана вечно гноилась и не заживала. Бедняк переносил, впрочем с ужасными мучениями, и эту пытку упорно несколько дней и наконец только, согласился выписаться. Глаза его в один день стали совершенно здоровые, и, как только зажила его шея, он отправился на абвахту, чтоб назавтра же выйти опять на тысячу палок.
Конечно, тяжела минута перед наказанием, тяжела до того, что, может быть, я грешу, называя этот страх малодушием и трусостию. Стало быть, тяжело, когда подвергаются двойному, тройному наказанию, только бы не сейчас оно исполнилось. Я упоминал, впрочем, и о таких, которые сами просились скорее на выписку еще с не зажившей от первых палок спиной, чтоб выходить остальные удары и окончательно выйти из-под суда; а содержание под судом, на абвахте, конечно, для всех несравненно хуже каторги. Но, кроме разницы темпераментов, большую роль играет в решимости и бесстрашии некоторых закоренелая привычка к ударам и к наказанию. Многократно битый как-то укрепляется духом и спиной и смотрит, наконец, на наказание скептически, почти как на малое неудобство, и уже не боится его. Говоря вообще, это верно. Один наш арестантик, из особого отделения, крещеный калмык Александр или Александра, как звали его у нас, странный малый, плутоватый, бесстрашный и в то же время очень добродушный, рассказывал мне, как он выходил свои четыре тысячи, рассказывал смеясь и шутя, но тут же клялся пресерьезно, что если б с детства, с самого нежного, первого своего детства, он не вырос под плетью, от которой буквально всю жизнь его в своей орде не сходили рубцы с его спины, то он бы ни за что не вынес этих четырех тысяч. Рассказывая, он как будто благословлял это воспитание под плетью. «Меня за все били, Александр Петрович, — говорил он мне раз, сидя на моей койке, под вечер, перед огнями, — за все про все, за что ни попало, били лет пятнадцать сряду, с самого того дня, как себя помнить начал, каждый день по нескольку раз; не бил, кто не хотел; так что я под конец уж совсем привык». Как он попал в солдаты, не знаю; не помню; впрочем, может, он и рассказывал; это был всегдашний бегун и бродяга. Только помню его рассказ о том, как он ужасно струсил, когда его приговорили к четырем тысячам за убийство начальника. «Я знал, что меня будут наказывать строго и что, может, из-под палок не выпустят, и хоть я и привык к плетям, да ведь четыре тысячи палок — шутка! да еще все начальство озлилось! Знал я, наверно знал, что не пройдет даром, не выхожу; не выпустят из-под палок. Я сначала попробовал было окреститься, думаю, авось простят, и хоть мне свои же тогда говорили, что ничего из этого не выйдет, не простят, да думаю: все-таки попробую, все-таки им жальче будет крещеного-то. Меня и в самом деле окрестили и при святом крещении нарекли Александром; ну, а палки все-таки палками остались; хоть бы одну простили; даже обидно мне стало. Я и думаю про себя: постой же, я вас всех и взаправду надую. И ведь что вы думаете, Александр Петрович, надул! Я ужасно умел хорошо мертвым представляться, то есть не то чтобы совсем мертвым, а вот-вот сейчас душа вон из тела уйдет. Повели меня; ведут одну тысячу: жжет, кричу; ведут другую, ну, думаю, конец мой идет, из ума совсем вышибли, ноги подламываются, я грох об землю: глаза у меня стали мертвые, лицо синее, дыхания нет, у рта пена. Подошел лекарь: сейчас, говорит, умрет. Понесли меня в госпиталь, а я тотчас ожил. Так меня еще два раза потом выводили, и уж злились они, очень на меня злились, а я их еще два раза надувал; третью тысячу только одну прошел, обмер, а как пошел четвертую, так каждый удар, как ножом по сердцу, проходил, каждый удар за три шел, так больно били! Остервенились на меня. Эта-то вот скаредная последняя тысяча (чтоб ее!) всех трех первых стоила, и кабы не умер я перед самым концом (всего палок двести только оставалось), забили бы тут же насмерть, ну да и я не дал себя в обиду: опять надул и опять обмер; опять поверили, да и как не поверить, лекарь верит, так что на двухстах-то последних, хоть изо всей злости били потом, так били, что в другой раз две тысячи легче, да нет, нос утри, не забили, а отчего не забили? А все тоже потому, что сыздетства под плетью рос. Оттого и жив до сегодня. Ох, били-то меня, били на моем веку!» — прибавил он в конце рассказа как бы в грустном раздумье, как бы силясь припомнить и пересчитать, сколько раз его били. «Да нет, — прибавил он, перебивая минутное молчание, — и не пересчитать, сколько били; да и куды перечесть! Счету такого не хватит». Он взглянул на меня и рассмеялся, но так добродушно, что я сам не мог не улыбнуться ему в ответ. «Знаете ли, Александр Петрович, я ведь и теперь, коли сон ночью вижу, так непременно — что меня бьют: других снов у меня не бывает». Он действительно часто кричал по ночам и кричал, бывало, во все горло, так что его тотчас будили толчками арестанты: «Ну, что, черт, кричишь!» Был он парень здоровый, невысокого росту, вертлявый и веселый, лет сорока пяти, жил со всеми ладно, и хоть очень любил воровать и очень часто бывал у нас бит за это, но ведь кто ж у нас не проворовывался и кто ж у нас не был бит за это?
Прибавлю к этому одно: удивлялся я всегда тому необыкновенному добродушию, тому беззлобию, с которым рассказывали все эти битые о том, как их били, и о тех, кто их бил. Часто ни малейшего даже оттенка злобы или ненависти не слышалось в таком рассказе, от которого у меня подчас подымалось сердце и начинало крепко и сильно стучать. А они, бывало, рассказывают и смеются, как дети. Вот М-цкий, например, рассказывал мне о своем наказании; он был не дворянин и прошел пятьсот. Я узнал об этом от других и сам спросил его: правда ли это и как это было? Он ответил как-то коротко, как будто с какою-то внутреннею болью, точно стараясь не глядеть на меня, и лицо его покраснело; через полминуты он посмотрел на меня, и в глазах его засверкал огонь ненависти, а губы затряслись от негодования. Я почувствовал, что он никогда не мог забыть этой страницы из своего прошедшего. Но наши, почти все (не ручаюсь, чтоб не было исключений), смотрели на это совсем иначе. Не может быть, думал я иногда, чтоб они считали себя совсем виновными и достойными казни, особенно когда согрешили не против своих, а против начальства. Большинство из них совсем себя не винило. Я сказал уже, что угрызений совести я не замечал, даже в тех случаях, когда преступление было против своего же общества. О преступлениях против начальства и говорить нечего. Казалось мне иногда, что в этом последнем случае был свой особенный, так сказать, какой-то практический или, лучше, фактический взгляд на дело. Принималась во внимание судьба, неотразимость факта, и не то что обдуманно как-нибудь, а так уж, бессознательно, как вера какая-нибудь. Арестант, например, хоть и всегда наклонен чувствовать себя правым в преступлениях против начальства, так что и самый вопрос об этом для него немыслим, но все-таки он практически сознавал, что начальство смотрит на его преступление совсем иным взглядом, а стало быть, он должен быть наказан, и квиты. Тут борьба обоюдная. Преступник знает притом и не сомневается, что он оправдан судом своей родной среды, своего же простонародья, которое никогда, он опять-таки знает это, его окончательно не осудит, а бо́льшею частию и совсем оправдает, лишь бы грех его был не против своих, против братьев, против своего же родного простонародья. Совесть его спокойна, а совестью он и силен и не смущается нравственно, а это главное. Он как бы чувствует, что есть на что опереться, и потому ненавидит, а принимает случившееся с ним за факт неминуемый, который не им начался, не им и кончится и долго-долго еще будет продолжаться среди раз поставленной, пассивной, но упорной борьбы. Какой солдат ненавидит лично турку, когда с ним воюет; а ведь турка же режет его, колет, стреляет в него. Впрочем, не все рассказы были уж совершенно хладнокровны и равнодушны. Про поручика Жеребятникова, например, рассказывали даже с некоторым оттенком негодования, впрочем не очень большого. С этим поручиком Жеребятниковым я познакомился еще в первое время моего лежания в больнице, разумеется из арестантских рассказов. Потом как-то я увидел его и в натуре, когда он стоял у нас в карауле. Это был человек лет под тридцать, росту высокого, толстый, жирный, с румяными, заплывшими жиром щеками, с белыми зубами и с ноздревским раскатистым смехом. По лицу его было видно, что это самый незадумывающийся человек в мире. Он до старости любил сечь и наказывать палками, когда, бывало, назначали его экзекутором. Спешу присовокупить, что на поручика Жеребятникова я уж и тогда смотрел как на урода между своими же, да так смотрели на него и сами арестанты. Были и кроме него исполнители, в старину разумеется, в ту недавнюю старину, о которой «свежо предание, а верится с трудом», любившие исполнить свое дело рачительно и с усердием. Но бо́льшею частию это происходило наивно и без особого увлечения. Поручик же был чем-то вроде утонченнейшего гастронома в исполнительном деле. Он любил, он страстно любил исполнительное искусство, и любил единственно для искусства. Он наслаждался им и, как истаскавшийся в наслаждениях, полинявший патриций времен Римской империи, изобретал себе разные утонченности, разные противуестественности, чтоб сколько-нибудь расшевелить и приятно пощекотать свою заплывшую жиром душу. Вот выводят арестанта к наказанию; Жеребятников экзекутором; один взгляд на длинный выстроенный ряд людей с толстыми палками уже вдохновляет его. Он самодовольно обходит ряды и подтверждает усиленно, чтобы каждый исполнял свое дело рачительно, совестливо, не то… Но уж солдатики знали, что значит это не то. Но вот приводят самого преступника, и если он еще до сих пор был не знаком с Жеребятниковым, если не слыхал еще про него всей подноготной, то вот какую, например, штуку тот с ним выкидывал. (Разумеется, это одна из сотни штучек; поручик был неистощим в изобретениях). Всякий арестант в ту минуту, когда его обнажают, а руки привязывают к прикладам ружей, на которых таким образом тянут его потом унтер-офицеры через всю зеленую улицу, — всякий арестант, следуя общему обычаю, всегда начинает в эту минуту слезливым, жалобным голосом молить экзекутора, чтобы наказывал послабее и не усугублял наказание излишнею строгостию: «Ваше благородие, — кричит несчастный, — помилуйте, будьте отец родной, заставьте за себя век бога молить, не погубите, помилосердствуйте!» Жеребятников только, бывало, того и ждет; тотчас остановит дело и тоже с чувствительным видом начинает разговор с арестантом:
— Друг ты мой, — говорит он, — да что же мне-то делать с тобой? Не я наказую, закон!
— Ваше благородие, все в ваших руках, помилосердствуйте!
— А ты думаешь, мне не жалко тебя? Ты думаешь, мне в удовольствие смотреть, как тебя будут быть? Ведь я тоже человек! Человек я аль нет, по-твоему?
— Вестимо, ваше благородие, знамо дело; вы отцы, мы дети. Будьте отцом родным! — кричит арестант, начиная уже надеяться.
— Да, друг ты мой, рассуди сам; ум-то ведь у тебя есть, чтоб рассудить: ведь я и сам знаю, что по человечеству должен и на тебя, грешника, смотреть снисходительно и милостиво.
— Сущую правду изволите, ваше благородие, говорить!
— Да, милостиво смотреть, как бы ты ни был грешен. Да ведь тут не я, а закон! Подумай! Ведь я богу служу и отечеству; я ведь тяжкий грех возьму на себя, если ослаблю закон, подумай об этом!
— Ваше благородие!
— Ну, да уж что! Уж так и быть, для тебя! Знаю, что грешу, но уж так и быть… Помилую я тебя на этот раз, накажу легко. Ну, а что если я тем самым тебе вред принесу? Я тебя вот теперь помилую, накажу легко, а ты понадеешься, что и другой раз так же будет, да и опять преступление сделаешь, что тогда? Ведь на моей же душе…
— Ваше благородие! Другу, недругу закажу! Вот как есть перед престолом небесного создателя…
— Ну, да уж хорошо, хорошо! А поклянешься мне, что будешь себя впредь хорошо вести?
— Да разрази меня господи, да чтоб мне на том свете…
— Не клянись, грешно. Я и слову твоему поверю, даешь слово?
— Ваше благородие!!!
— Ну, слушай же, милую я тебя только ради сиротских слез твоих; ты сирота?
— Сирота, ваше благородие, как перст один, ни отца, ни матери…
— Ну, так ради сиротских слез твоих; но смотри же, в последний раз… ведите его, — прибавляет он таким мягкосердным голосом, что арестант уж и не знает, какими молитвами бога молить за такого милостивца. Но вот грозная процессия тронулась, повели; загремел барабан, замахали первые палки… «Катай его! — кричит во все свое горло Жеребятников. — Жги его! Лупи, лупи! Обжигай! Еще ему, еще ему! Крепче сироту, крепче мошенника! Сажай его, сажай!» И солдаты лупят со всего размаха, искры сыплются из глаз бедняка, он начинает кричать, а Жеребятников бежит за ним по фрунту и хохочет, хохочет, заливается, бока руками подпирает от смеха, распрямиться не может, так что даже жалко его под конец станет, сердешного. И рад-то он, и смешно-то ему, и только разве изредка перервется его звонкий, здоровый, раскатистый смех, и слышится опять: «Лупи его, лупи! Обжигай его, мошенника, обжигай сироту!..»
А вот еще какие он изобретал варьяции: выведут к наказанию; арестант опять начинает молить. Жеребятников на этот раз не ломается, не гримасничает, а пускается в откровенности:
— Видишь что, любезный, — говорит он, — накажу я тебя как следует, потому ты и стоишь того. Но вот что я для тебя, пожалуй, сделаю: к прикладам я тебя не привяжу. Один пойдешь, только по-новому: беги что есть силы через весь фрунт! Тут хоть и каждая палка ударит, да ведь дело-то будет короче, как думаешь? Хочешь испробовать?
Арестант слушает с недоумением, с недоверчивостью и задумывается. «Что ж, — думает он про себя, — а может, оно и вправду вольготнее будет; пробегу что есть мочи, так мука впятеро короче будет, а может, и не всякая палка ударит».
— Хорошо, ваше благородие, согласен.
— Ну, и я согласен, катай! Смотрите ж, не зевать! — кричит он солдатам, зная, впрочем, наперед, что ни одна палка не манкирует виноватой спины; промахнувшийся солдат тоже очень хорошо знает, чему подвергается. Арестант пускается бежать что есть силы по «зеленой улице», но, разумеется, не пробегает и пятнадцати рядов; палки, как барабанная дробь, как молния, разом, вдруг, низвергаются на его спину, и бедняк с криком упадает, как подкошенный, как сраженный пулей. «Нет, ваше благородие, лучше уж по закону», — говорит он, медленно подымаясь с земли, бледный и испуганный, а Жеребятников, который заранее знал всю эту штуку и что из нее выйдет, хохочет, заливается. Но и не описать всех его развлечений и всего, что про него у нас рассказывали!
Несколько другим образом, в другом тоне и духе, рассказывали у нас об одном поручике Смекалове, исполнявшем должность командира при нашем остроге, прежде еще, чем назначили к этой должности нашего плац-майора. Про Жеребятникова хоть и рассказывали довольно равнодушно, без особой злобы, но все-таки не любовались его подвигами, не хвалили его, а видимо им гнушались. Даже как-то свысока презирали его. Но про поручика Смекалова вспоминали у нас с радостью и наслаждением. Дело в том, что это вовсе не был какой-нибудь особенный охотник высечь; в нем отнюдь не было чисто жеребятнического элемента. Но все-таки он был отнюдь не прочь и высечь; в том-то и дело, что самые розги его вспоминались у нас с какою-то сладкою любовью, — так умел угодить этот человек арестантам! А и чем? Чем заслужил он такую популярность? Правда, наш народ, как, может быть, и весь народ русский, готов забыть целые муки за одно ласковое слово; говорю об этом как об факте, не разбирая его на этот раз ни с той, ни с другой стороны. Нетрудно было угодить этому народу и приобрести у него популярность. Но поручик Смекалов приобрел особенную популярность — так что даже о том, как он сек, припоминалось чуть не с умилением. «Отца не надо», — говорят, бывало, арестанты и даже вздыхают, сравнивая по воспоминаниям их прежнего временного начальника, Смекалова, с теперешним плац-майором. «Душа человек!» Был он человек простой, может, даже и добрый по-своему. Но случается, бывает не только добрый, но даже и великодушный человек в начальниках; и что ж? — все не любят его, а над иным так, смотришь, и просто смеются. Дело в том, что Смекалов умел как-то так сделать, се его у нас признавали за своего человека, а это большое уменье или, вернее сказать, прирожденная способность, над которой и не задумываются даже обладающие ею. Странное дело: бывают даже из таких и совсем недобрые люди, а между тем приобретают иногда большую популярность. Не брезгливы они, не гадливы к подчиненному народу, — вот где, кажется мне, причина! Барчонка-белоручки в них не видать, духа барского не слыхать, а есть в них какой-то особенный простонародный запах, прирожденный им, и, боже мой, как чуток народ к этому запаху! Чего он не отдаст за него! Милосерднейшего человека готов променять даже на самого старого, если этот припахивает ихним собственным посконным запахом. Что ж, если этот припахивающий человек, сверх того, и действительно добродушен, хотя бы и по-своему? Тут уж ему и цены нет! Поручик Смекалов, как уже и сказал я, иной раз и больно наказывал, но он как-то так умел сделать, что на него не только не злобствовали, но даже, напротив, теперь, в мое время, как уже все давно прошло, вспоминали о его штучках при сечении со смехом и с наслаждением. Впрочем, у него было немного штук: фантазии художественной не хватало. По правде, была всего-то одна штучка, одна-единственная, с которой он чуть не целый год у нас пробавлялся; но, может быть, она именно и мила-то была тем, что была единственная. Наивности в этом было много. Приведут, например, виноватого арестанта. Смекалов сам выйдет к наказанию, выйдет с усмешкою, с шуткою, об чем-нибудь тут же расспросит виноватого, об чем-нибудь постороннем, о его личных, домашних, арестантских делах, и вовсе не с какою-нибудь целью, не с заигрыванием каким-нибудь, а так просто — потому что ему действительно знать хочется об этих делах. Принесут розги, а Смекалову стул; он сядет на него, трубку даже закурит. Длинная у него такая трубка была. Арестант начинает молить… «Нет уж, брат, ложись, чего уж тут…» — скажет Смекалов; арестант вздохнет и ляжет. «Ну-тка, любезный, умеешь вот такой-то стих наизусть?» — «Как не знать, ваше благородие, мы крещеные, сыздетства учились». — «Ну, так читай». И уж арестант знает, что читать, и знает заранее, что будет при этом чтении, потому что эта штука раз тридцать уже и прежде с другими повторялась. Да и сам Смекалов знает, что арестант это знает; знает, что даже и солдаты, которые стоят с поднятыми розгами над лежащей жертвой, об этой самой штуке тоже давно уж наслышаны, и все-таки он повторяет ее опять, — так она ему раз навсегда понравилась, может быть именно потому, что он ее сам сочинил, из литературного самолюбия. Арестант начинает читать, люди с розгами ждут, а Смекалов даже принагнется с места, руку подымет, трубку перестанет курить, ждет известного словца. После первой строчки известных стихов арестант доходит наконец до слова «на небеси». Того только и надо. «Стой! — кричит воспламененный поручик и мигом с вдохновенным жестом, обращаясь к человеку, поднявшему розгу, кричит: — А ты ему поднеси!»
И заливается хохотом. Стоящие кругом солдаты тоже ухмыляются: ухмыляется секущий, чуть не ухмыляется даже секомый, несмотря на то что розга по команде «поднеси» свистит уже в воздухе, чтоб через один миг как бритвой резнуть по его виноватому телу. И радуется Смекалов, радуется именно тому, что вот как же это он так хорошо придумал — и сам сочинил: «на небеси» и «поднеси» — и кстати, и в рифму выходит. И Смекалов уходит от наказания совершенно довольный собой, да и высеченный тоже уходит чуть не довольный собой и Смекаловым. И, смотришь, через полчаса уж рассказывает в остроге, как и теперь, в тридцать первый раз, была повторена уже тридцать раз прежде всего повторенная шутка. «Одно слово, душа человек! Забавник!»
Даже подчас какой-то маниловщиной отзывались воспоминания о добрейшем поручике.
— Бывало, идешь этта, братцы, — рассказывает какой-нибудь арестантик, и все лицо его улыбается от воспоминания, — идешь, а он уж сидит себе под окошком в халатике, чай пьет, трубочку покуривает. Снимешь шапку. — Куда, Аксенов, идешь?
— Да на работу, Михаил Васильич, перво-наперво в мастерскую надоть, — засмеется себе… То есть душа человек! Одно слово душа!
— И не нажить такого! — прибавляет кто-нибудь из слушателей.
Примечания
1. ↑ Впервые — в журнале «Время», 1862, том VII, № 2, отд. I, с. 565—579.
2. ↑ Буквально: «катаральная лихорадка» (лат.).
3. ↑ здоров (лат.).

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III. Продолжение[2]

Я заговорил теперь о наказаниях, равно как и об разных исполнителях этих интересных обязанностей, собственно потому, что, переселясь в госпиталь, получил только тогда и первое наглядное понятие обо всех этих делах. До тех пор я знал об этом только понаслышке. В наши две палаты сводились все наказанные шпицрутенами подсудимые из всех батальонов, арестантских отделений и прочих военных команд, расположенных в нашем городе и во всем его округе. В это первое время, когда я ко всему, что совершалось кругом меня, еще так жадно приглядывался, все эти странные для меня порядки, все эти наказанные и готовившиеся к наказанию естественно производили на меня сильнейшее впечатление. Я был взволнован, смущен и испуган. Помню, что тогда же я вдруг и нетерпеливо стал вникать во все подробности этих новых явлений, слушать разговоры и рассказы на эту тему других арестантов, сам задавал им вопросы, добивался решений. Мне желалось, между прочим, знать непременно все степени приговоров и исполнений, все оттенки этих исполнений, взгляд на все это самих арестантов; я старался вообразить себе психологическое состояние идущих на казнь. Я сказал уже, что перед наказанием редко кто бывает хладнокровен, не исключая даже и тех, которые уже предварительно были много и неоднократно биты. Тут вообще находит на осужденного какой-то острый, но чисто физический страх, невольный и неотразимый, подавляющий все нравственное существо человека. Я и потом, во все эти несколько лет острожной жизни, невольно приглядывался к тем из подсудимых, которые, пролежав в госпитале после первой половины наказания и залечив свои спины, выписывались из госпиталя, чтобы назавтра же выходить остальную половину назначенных по конфирмации палок. Это разделение наказания на две половины случается всегда по приговору лекаря, присутствующего при наказании. Если назначенное по преступлению число ударов большое, так что арестанту всего разом не вынести, то делят ему это число на две, даже на три части, судя по тому, что скажет доктор во время уже самого наказания, то есть может ли наказуемый продолжать идти сквозь строй дальше, или это будет сопряжено с опасностью для его жизни. Обыкновенно пятьсот, тысяча и даже полторы тысячи выходят разом; но если приговор в две, в три тысячи, то исполнение делится на две половины и даже на три. Те, которые, залечив после первой половины свою спину, выходили из госпиталя, чтоб идти под вторую половину, в день выписки и накануне бывали обыкновенно мрачны, угрюмы, неразговорчивы. Замечалась в них некоторая отупелость ума, какая-то неестественная рассеянность. В разговоры такой человек не пускается и больше молчит; любопытнее всего, что с таким и сами арестанты никогда не говорят и не стараются заговаривать о том, что его ожидает. Ни лишнего слова, ни утешения; даже стараются и вообще-то мало внимания обращать на такого. Это, конечно, лучше для подсудимого. Бывают исключения, как вот, например, Орлов, о котором я уже рассказывал. После первой половины наказания он только на то и досадовал, что спина его долго не заживает и что нельзя ему поскорее выписаться, чтоб скорей выходить остальные удары, отправиться с партией в назначенную ему ссылку и бежать с дороги. Но этого развлекала цель, и бог знает, что у него на уме. Это была странная и живучая натура. Он был очень доволен, в сильно возбужденном состоянии, хотя и подавлял свои ощущения. Дело в том, что он еще перед первой половиной наказания думал, что его не выпустят из-под палок и что он должен умереть. До него доходили уже разные слухи о мерах начальства, еще когда он содержался под судом; он уже и тогда готовился к смерти. Но, выходив первую половину, он ободрился. Он явился в госпиталь избитый до полусмерти; я еще никогда не видал таких язв; но он пришел с радостью в сердце, с надеждой, что останется жив, что слухи были ложные, что его вот выпустят же теперь из-под палок, так что теперь, после долгого содержания под судом, ему уже начинали мечтаться дорога, побег, свобода, поля и леса… Через два дня после выписки из госпиталя он умер в том же госпитале, на прежней же койке, не выдержав второй половины. Но я уже упоминал об этом.
И, однако, те же арестанты, которые проводили такие тяжелые дни и ночи перед самым наказанием, переносили самую казнь мужественно, не исключая и самых малодушных. Я редко слышал стоны даже в продолжение первой ночи по их прибытии, нередко даже от чрезвычайно тяжело избитых; вообще народ умеет переносить боль. Насчет боли я много расспрашивал. Мне иногда хотелось определенно узнать, как велика эта боль, с чем ее, наконец, можно сравнить? Право, не знаю, для чего я добивался этого. Одно только помню, что не из праздного любопытства. Повторяю, я был взволнован и потрясен. Но у кого я ни спрашивал, я никак не мог добиться удовлетворительного для меня ответа. Жжет, как огнем палит, — вот все, что я мог узнать, и это был единственный у всех ответ. Жжет, да и только. В это же первое время, сойдясь поближе с М-м, я расспрашивал и его. «Больно, — отвечал он, — очень, а ощущение — жжет, как огнем; как будто жарится спина на самом сильном огне». Одним словом, все показывали в одно слово. Впрочем, помню, я тогда же сделал одно странное замечание, за верность которого особенно не стою; но общность приговора самих арестантов сильно его поддерживает: это то, что розги, если даются в большом количестве, самое тяжелое наказание из всех у нас употребляемых. Казалось бы, что это с первого взгляда нелепо и невозможно. Но, однако же, с пятисот, даже с четырехсот розог можно засечь человека до смерти; а свыше пятисот почти наверно. Тысячи розог не вынесет разом даже человек самого сильнейшего сложения. Между тем пятьсот палок можно перенести безо всякой опасности для жизни. Тысячу палок может вынести, без опасения за жизнь, даже и не сильного сложения человек. Даже с двух тысяч палок нельзя забить человека средней силы и здорового сложения. Арестанты все говорили, что розги хуже палок. «Розги садче, — говорили они, — муки больше». Конечно, розги мучительнее палок. Они сильнее раздражают, сильнее действуют на нервы, возбуждают их свыше меры, потрясают свыше возможности. Я не знаю, как теперь, но в недавнюю старину были джентльмены, которым возможность высечь свою жертву доставляла нечто, напоминающее маркиз де Сада и Бренвилье. Я думаю, что в этом ощущении есть нечто такое, отчего у этих джентльменов замирает сердце, сладко и больно вместе. Есть люди, как тигры жаждущие лизнуть крови. Кто испытал раз эту власть, это безграничное господство над телом, кровью и духом такого же, как сам, человека, так же созданного, брата по закону Христову; кто испытал власть и полную возможность унизить самым высочайшим унижением другое существо, носящее на себе образ божий, тот уже поневоле как-то делается не властен в своих ощущениях. Тиранство есть привычка; оно одарено развитием, оно развивается, наконец, в болезнь. Я стою на том, что самый лучший человек может огрубеть и отупеть от привычки до степени зверя. Кровь и власть пьянят: развиваются загрубелость, разврат; уму и чувству становятся доступны и, наконец, сладки самые ненормальные явления. Человек и гражданин гибнут в тиране навсегда, а возврат к человеческому достоинству, к раскаянию, к возрождению становится для него уже почти невозможен. К тому же пример, возможность такого своеволия действуют и на все общество заразительно: такая власть соблазнительна. Общество, равнодушно смотрящее на такое явление, уже само заражено в своем основании. Одним словом, право телесного наказания, данное одному над другим, есть одна из язв общества, есть одно из самых сильных средств для уничтожения в нем всякого зародыша, всякой попытки гражданственности и полное основание к непременному и неотразимому его разложению.
Палачом гнушаются же в обществе, но палачом-джентльменом далеко нет. Только недавно высказалось противное мнение, но высказалось еще только в книгах, отвлеченно. Даже те, которые высказывают его, не все еще успели затушить в себе эту потребность самовластия. Даже всякий фабрикант, всякий антрепренер непременно должен ощущать какое-то раздражительное удовольствие в том, что его работник зависит иногда весь, со всем семейством своим, единственно от него. Это наверно так; не так скоро поколение отрывается от того, что сидит в нем наследственно; не так скоро отказывается человек от того, что вошло в кровь его, передано ему, так сказать, с матерним молоком. Не бывает таких скороспелых переворотов. Сознать вину и родовой грех еще мало, очень мало; надобно совсем от него отучиться. А это не так скоро делается.
Я заговорил о палаче. Свойства палача в зародыше находятся почти в каждом современном человеке. Но не равно развиваются звериные свойства человека. Если же в ком-нибудь они пересиливают в своем развитии все другие его свойства, то такой человек, конечно, становится ужасным и безобразным. Палачи бывают двух родов: одни бывают добровольные, другие — подневольные, обязанные. Добровольный палач, конечно, во всех отношениях ниже подневольного, которым, однако, так гнушается народ, гнушается до ужаса, до гадливости, до безотчетного, чуть не мистического страха. Откуда же этот почти суеверный страх к одному палачу и такое равнодушие, чуть не одобрение к другому? Бывают примеры до крайности странные: я знавал людей даже добрых, даже честных, даже уважаемых в обществе, и между тем они, например, не могли хладнокровно перенести, если наказуемый не кричит под розгами, не молит и не просит о пощаде. Наказуемые должны непременно кричать и молить о пощаде. Так принято; это считается и приличным и необходимым, и когда однажды жертва не хотела кричать, то исполнитель, которого я знал и который в других отношениях мог считаться человеком, пожалуй, и добрым, даже лично обиделся при этом случае. Он хотел было сначала наказать легко, но, не слыша обычных «ваше благородие, отец родной, помилуйте, заставьте за себя вечно бога молить» и проч., рассвирепел и дал розог пятьдесят лишних, желая добиться и крику и просьб, — и добился. «Нельзя-с, грубость есть», — отвечал он мне очень серьезно. Что же касается до настоящего палача, подневольного, обязанного, то известно: это арестант решоный и приговоренный в ссылку, но оставленный в палачах; поступивший сначала в науку к другому палачу и, выучившись у него, оставленный навек при остроге, где он содержится особо, в особой комнате, имеющий даже свое хозяйство, но находящийся почти всегда под конвоем. Конечно, живой человек не машина; палач бьет хоть и по обязанности, но иногда тоже входит в азарт, но хоть бьет не без удовольствия для себя, зато почти никогда не имеет личной ненависти к своей жертве. Ловкость удара, знание своей науки, желание показать себя перед своими товарищами и перед публикой подстрекают его самолюбие. Он хлопочет ради искусства. Кроме того, он знает очень хорошо, что он всеобщий отверженец, что суеверный страх везде встречает и провожает его, и нельзя ручаться, чтоб это не имело на него влияния, не усиливало в нем его ярости, его звериных наклонностей. Даже дети знают, что он «отказывается от отца и матери». Странное дело, сколько мне ни случалось видеть палачей, все они были люди развитые, с толком, с умом и с необыкновенным самолюбием, даже с гордостью. Развилась ли в них эта гордость в отпор всеобщему к ним презрению; усиливалась ли она сознанием страха, внушаемого ими их жертве, и чувством господства над нею, — не знаю. Может быть, даже самая парадность и театральность той обстановки, с которою они являются перед публикой на эшафоте, способствуют развитию в них некоторого высокомерия. Помню, мне пришлось однажды в продолжение некоторого времени часто встречать и близко наблюдать одного палача. Это был малый среднего роста, мускулистый, сухощавый, лет сорока, с довольно приятным и умным лицом и с кудрявой головой. Он был всегда необыкновенно важен, спокоен; снаружи держал себя по-джентльменски, отвечал всегда коротко, рассудительно и даже ласково, но как-то высокомерно ласково, как будто он чем-то чванился предо мною. Караульные офицеры часто с ним при мне заговаривали и, право, даже с некоторым как будто уважением к нему. Он это сознавал и перед начальником нарочно удвоивал свою вежливость, сухость и чувство собственного достоинства. Чем ласковее разговаривал с ним начальник, тем неподатливее сам он казался, и хотя отнюдь не выступал из утонченнейшей вежливости, но, я уверен, в эту минуту он считал себя неизмеримо выше разговаривавшего с ним начальника. На лице его это было написано. Случалось, что иногда в очень жаркий летний день посылали его под конвоем с длинным тонким шестом избивать городских собак. В этом городке было чрезвычайно много собак, совершенно никому не принадлежавших и плодившихся с необыкновенною быстротою. В каникулярное время они становились опасными, и для истребления их, по распоряжению начальства, посылался палач. Но даже и эта унизительная должность, по-видимому, нимало не унижала его. Надо было видеть, с каким достоинством он расхаживал по городским улицам в сопровождении усталого конвойного, пугая уже одним видом своим встречных баб и детей, как он спокойно и даже свысока смотрел на всех встречавшихся. Впрочем, палачам жить привольно. У них есть деньги, едят они очень хорошо, пьют вино. Деньги достаются им через взятки. Гражданский подсудимый, которому выходит по суду наказание, предварительно хоть чем-нибудь, хоть из последнего, да подарит палача. Но с иных, с богатых подсудимых, они сами берут, назначая им сумму сообразно с вероятными средствами арестанта, берут и по тридцати рублей, а иногда даже и более. С очень богатыми даже очень торгуются. Очень слабо наказать палач, конечно, не может; он отвечает за это своей же спиной. Но зато, за известную взятку, он обещается жертве, что не прибьет ее очень больно. Почти всегда соглашаются на его предложение; если ж нет, он действительно наказывает варварски, и это вполне в его власти. Случается, что он налагает значительную сумму даже на очень бедного подсудимого; родственники ходят, торгуются, кланяются, и беда, если не удовлетворят его. В таких случаях много помогает ему суеверный страх, им внушаемый. Каких диковинок про палачей не рассказывают! Впрочем, сами арестанты уверяли меня, что палач может убить с одного удара. Но, во-первых, когда ж это было испытано? А, впрочем, может быть. Об этом говорили слишком утвердительно. Палач же сам ручался мне, что он это может сделать. Говорили тоже, что он может ударить со всего размаха по самой спине преступника, но так, что даже самого маленького рубчика не вскочит после удара и преступник не почувствует ни малейшей боли. Впрочем, обо всех этих фокусах и утонченностях известно уже слишком много рассказов. Но если даже палач и возьмет взятку, чтоб наказать легко, то все-таки первый удар дается им со всего размаха и изо всей силы. Это даже обратилось между ними в обычай. Последующие удары он смягчает, особенно если ему предварительно заплатили. Но первый удар, заплатили иль нет ему, — его. Право, не знаю, для чего это у них так делается? Для того ли, чтоб сразу приучить жертву к дальнейшим ударам, по тому расчету, что после очень трудного удара уже не так мучительны покажутся легкие, или тут просто желание пофорсить перед жертвой, задать ей страху, огорошить ее с первого раза, что понимала она, с кем дело имеет, показать себя, одним словом. Во всяком случае палач перед началом наказания чувствует себя в возбужденном состоянии духа, чувствует силу свою, сознает себя властелином; он в эту минуту актер; на него дивится и ужасается публика, и, уж конечно, не без наслаждения кричит он своей жертве перед ударом: «Поддержись, ожгу! » — обычные и роковые слова в этом случае. Трудно представить, до чего можно исказить природу человеческую.
В это первое время, в госпитале, я заслушивался всех этих арестантских рассказов. Лежать было нам всем ужасно скучно. Каждый день так похож один на другой! Утром еще развлекало нас посещение докторов и потом скоро после них обед. Еда, разумеется, в таком однообразии представляла значительное развлечение. Порции были разные, распределенные по болезням лежавших. Иные получали только один суп с какой-то крупой; другие только одну кашицу; третьи одну только манную кашу, на которую было очень много охотников. Арестанты от долгого лежания изнеживались и любили лакомиться. Выздоравливавшим и почти здоровым давали кусок вареной говядины, «быка», как у нас говорили. Всех лучше была порция цынготная — говядина с луком, с хреном и с проч., а иногда и с крышкой водки. Хлеб был, тоже смотря по болезням, черный или полубелый, порядочно выпеченный. Эта официальность и тонкость в назначении порций только смешила больных. Конечно, в иной болезни человек и сам ничего не ел. Но зато те больные, которые чувствовали аппетит, ели, что хотели. Иные менялись порциями, так что порция, подходящая к одной болезни, переходила к совершенно другой. Другие, которые лежали на слабой порции, покупали говядину или цинготную порцию, пили квас, госпитальное пиво, покупая его у тех, кому оно назначалось. Иные съедали даже по две порции. Эти порции продавались или перепродавались за деньги. Говяжья порция ценилась довольно высоко: она стоила пять копеек ассигнациями. Если в нашей палате не было у кого купить, посылали сторожа в другую арестантскую палату, а нет — так и в солдатские палаты, в «вольные», как у нас говорили. Всегда находились охотники продать. Они оставались на одном хлебе, зато зашибали деньгу. Бедность была, конечно, всеобщая, но те, которые имели деньжонки, посылали даже на базар за калачами, даже за лакомствами и проч. Наши сторожа исполняли все эти поручения совершенно бескорыстно. После обеда наступало самое скучное время; кто от нечего делать спал, кто болтал, кто ссорился, кто что-нибудь вслух рассказывал. Если не приводили новых больных, было еще скучнее. Приход новичка почти всегда производил некоторое впечатление, особенно если он был никому не знакомый. Его оглядывали, старались узнать, что он и как, откуда и по каким делам. Особенно интересовались в этом случае пересыльными: те всегда что-нибудь да рассказывали, впрочем не о своих интимных делах; об этом, если сам человек не заговаривал, никогда не расспрашивали, а так: откуда шли? с кем? какова дорога? куда пойдут? и проч. Иные, тут же слыша новый рассказ, припоминали как бы мимоходом что-нибудь из своего собственного: об разных пересылках, партиях, исполнителях, о партионных начальниках. Наказанные шпицрутенами являлись тоже об эту пору, к вечеру. Они всегда производили довольно сильное впечатление, как, впрочем, и было уже упомянуто; но не каждый же день их приводили, и в тот день, когда их не было, становилось у нас как-то вяло, как будто все эти лица одно другому страшно надоели, начинались даже ссоры. У нас радовались даже сумасшедшим, которых приводили на испытание. Уловка прикинуться сумасшедшим, чтоб избавиться от наказания, употреблялась изредка подсудимыми. Одних скоро обличали или, лучше сказать, они сами решались изменять политику своих действий, и арестант, прокуралесив два-три дня, вдруг ни с того ни с сего становился умным, утихал и мрачно начинал проситься на выписку. Ни арестанты, ни доктора не укоряли такого и не стыдили, напоминая ему его недавние фокусы; молча выписывали, молча провожали, и дня через два-три он являлся к нам наказанный. Такие случаи бывали, впрочем, вообще редки. Но настоящие сумасшедшие, приводившиеся на испытание, составляли истинную кару божию для всей палаты. Иных сумасшедших, веселых, бойких, кричащих, пляшущих и поющих, арестанты сначала встречали чуть не с восторгом. «Вот забава-то! » — говаривали они, смотря на иного только что приведенного кривляку. Но мне ужасно трудно и тяжело было видеть этих несчастных. Я никогда не мог хладнокровно смотреть на сумасшедших.
Впрочем, скоро беспрерывные кривлянья и беспокойные выходки приведенного и встреченного с хохотом сумасшедшего решительно всем у нас надоедали и дня в два выводили всех из терпения окончательно. Одного из них держали у нас недели три, и приходилось просто бежать из палаты. Как нарочно, в это время привели еще сумасшедшего. Этот произвел на меня особенное впечатление. Случилось это уже на третий год моей каторги. В первый год, или, лучше сказать, в первые же месяцы моей острожной жизни, весной, я ходил с одной партией на работу за две версты, в кирпичный завод, с печниками, подносчиком. Надо было исправить для будущих летних кирпичных работ печи. В это утро в заводе М-цкий и Б. познакомили меня с проживавшим там надсмотрщиком, унтер-офицером Острожским. Это был поляк, старик лет шестидесяти, высокий, сухощавый, чрезвычайно благообразной и даже величавой наружности. В Сибири он находился с давнишних пор на службе и хоть происходил из простонародья, пришел как солдат бывшего в тридцатом году войска, но М-цкий и Б. его любили и уважали. Он все читал католическую Библию. Я разговаривал с ним, и он говорил так ласково, так разумно, так занимательно рассказывал, так добродушно и честно смотрел. С тех пор я не видал его года два, слышал только, что по какому-то делу он находился под следствием, и вдруг его ввели к нам в палату как сумасшедшего. Он вошел с визгами, с хохотом и с самыми неприличными, с самыми камаринскими жестами пустился плясать по палате. Арестанты были в восторге, но мне стало так грустно… Через три дня мы все уже не знали, куда с ним деваться. Он ссорился, дрался, визжал, пел песни, даже ночью, делал поминутно такие отвратительные выходки, что всех начинало просто тошнить. Он никого не боялся. На него надевали горячешную рубашку, но от этого становилось нам же хуже, хотя без рубашки он затевал ссоры и лез драться чуть не со всеми. В эти три недели иногда вся палата подымалась в один голос и просила главного доктора перевести наше нещечко в другую арестантскую палату. Там в свою очередь выпрашивали дня через два перевести его к нам. А так как сумасшедших случилось у нас разом двое, беспокойных и забияк, то одна палата с другою чередовались и менялись сумасшедшими. Но оказывались оба хуже. Все вздохнули свободнее, когда их от нас увели наконец куда-то…
Помню тоже еще одного странного сумасшедшего. Привели однажды летом одного подсудимого, здорового и с виду очень неуклюжего парня, лет сорока пяти, с уродливым от оспы лицом, с заплывшими красными глазами и с чрезвычайно угрюмым и мрачным видом. Поместился он рядом со мною. Оказался он очень смирным малым, ни с кем не заговаривал и сидел как будто что-то обдумывая. Стало смеркаться, и вдруг он обратился ко мне. Прямо, без дальних предисловий, но с таким видом, как будто сообщает мне чрезвычайную тайну, он стал мне рассказывать, что на днях ему выходит две тысячи, но что этого теперь не будет, потому что дочь полковника Г. об нем хлопочет. Я с недоумением посмотрел на него и отвечал, что в таком случае, мне кажется, дочь полковника ничего не в состоянии сделать. Я еще ни о чем не догадывался; его привели вовсе не как сумасшедшего, а как обыкновенного больного. Я спросил его, чем он болен? Он ответил мне, что не знает и что его зачем-то прислали, но что он совершенно здоров, а полковничья дочь в него влюблена; что она раз, две недели тому назад, проезжала мимо абвахты, а он на ту пору и выгляни из-за решетчатого окошечка. Она, как увидала его, тотчас же и влюбилась. И с тех пор под разными видами была уже три раза на абвахте; первый раз заходила вместе с отцом к брату, офицеру, стоящему в то время у них в карауле; другой раз пришла с матерью раздать подаяние и, проходя мимо, шепнула ему, что она его любит и выручит. Странно было, с какими тонкими подробностями рассказывал он мне всю эту нелепость, которая, разумеется, вся целиком родилась в расстроенной, бедной голове его. В свое избавление от наказания он верил свято. О страстной любви к нему этой барышни говорил спокойно и утвердительно, и, несмотря уже на общую нелепость рассказа, так дико было слышать такую романтическую историю о влюбленной девице от человека под пятьдесят лет, с такой унылой, огорченной и уродливой физиономией. Странно, что мог сделать страх наказания с этой робкой душой. Может быть, он действительно кого-нибудь увидел в окошко, и сумасшествие, приготовлявшееся в нем от страха, возраставшего с каждым часом, вдруг разом нашло свой исход, свою форму. Этот несчастный солдат, которому, может быть, во всю жизнь ни разу и не подумалось о барышнях, выдумал вдруг целый роман, инстинктивно хватаясь хоть за эту соломинку. Я выслушал молча и сообщил о нем другим арестантам. Но когда другие стали любопытствовать, он целомудренно молчал. Назавтра доктор долго опрашивал его, и так как он сказал ему, что ничем не болен, и по осмотру оказался действительно таким, то его и выписали. Но о том, что у него в листе написано было sanat., мы узнали уже, когда доктора вышли из палаты, так что сказать им, в чем дело, уже нельзя было. Да мы и сами-то еще тогда вполне не догадывались, в чем было главное дело. А между тем все дело состояло в ошибке приславшего его к нам начальства, не объяснившего, для чего его присылали. Тут случилась какая-то небрежность. А может быть, даже и приславшие еще только догадывались и были вовсе не уверены в его сумасшествии, действовали по темным слухам и прислали его на испытание. Как бы то ни было, несчастного вывели через два дня к наказанию. Оно, кажется, очень поразило его своею неожиданностью; он не верил, что его накажут, до последней минуты и, когда повели его по рядам, стал кричать: «Караул!» В госпитале его положили на этот раз уже не в нашу, а, за неимением в ней коек, в другую палату. Но я справлялся о нем и узнал, что он во все восемь дней ни с кем не сказал ни слова, был смущен и чрезвычайно грустен… Потом его куда-то услали, когда зажила его спина. Я по крайней мере уже больше не слыхал о нем ничего.
Что же касается вообще до лечения и лекарств, то, сколько я мог заметить, легкобольные почти не исполняли предписаний и не принимали лекарств, но труднобольные и вообще действительно больные очень любили лечиться, принимали аккуратно свои микстуры и порошки; но более всего у нас любили наружные средства. Банки, пиявки, припарки и кровопускания, которые так любит и которым так верит наш простолюдин, принимались у нас охотно и даже с удовольствием. Меня заинтересовало одно странное обстоятельство. Эти самые люди, которые были так терпеливы в перенесении мучительнейших болей от палок и розог, нередко жаловались, кривлялись и даже стонали от каких-нибудь банок. Разнеживались ли они уж очень, или так просто франтили, — уж не знаю, как это объяснить. Правда, наши банки были особого рода. Машинку, которою просекается мгновенно кожа, фельдшер когда-то, с незапамятных времен, затерял или испортил, или, может быть, она сама испортилась, так что он уже принужден был делать необходимые надрезы тела ланцетом. Надрезов делают для каждой банки около двенадцати. Машинкой не больно. Двенадцать ножичков ударят вдруг, мгновенно, и боль не слышна. Но надрезывание ланцетом другое дело. Ланцет режет сравнительно очень медленно; боль слышна; а так как, например, при десяти банках приходится сделать сто двадцать таких надрезов, то все вместе, конечно, было чувствительно. Я испытал это, но хотя и было больно и досадно, но все-таки не так же, чтоб не удержаться и стонать. Даже смешно было иногда смотреть на иного верзилу и здоровяка, как он корчится и начинает нюнить. Вообще это можно было сравнить с тем, когда иной человек, твердый и даже спокойный в каком-нибудь серьезном деле, хандрит и капризничает дома, когда нечего делать, не ест, что подают, бранится и ругается; все не по нем, все ему досаждают, все ему грубят, все его мучают — одним словом, с жиру бесится, как говорят иногда о таких господах, встречающихся, впрочем, и в простонародии; а в нашем остроге, при взаимном всеобщем сожитии, даже слишком часто. Бывало, в палате свои уже начнут дразнить такого неженку, а иной просто выругается; вот он и замолчит, точно и в самом деле того и ждал, чтоб его выругали, чтоб замолчать. Особенно не любил этого Устьянцев и никогда не пропускал случая поругаться с неженкой. Он и вообще не пропускал случая с кем-нибудь сцепиться. Это было его наслаждением, потребностью, разумеется от болезни, отчасти и от тупоумия. Смотрит, бывало, сперва серьезно и пристально и потом каким-то спокойным, убежденным голосом начинает читать наставления. До всего ему было дело; точно он был приставлен у нас для наблюдения за порядком или за всеобщею нравственностью.
— До всего доходит, — говорят, бывало, смеясь, арестанты. Его, впрочем, щадили и избегали ругаться с ним, а так только иногда смеялись.
— Ишь, наговорил! На трех возах не вывезешь.
— Чего наговорил? Перед дураком шапки не снимают известно. Чего ж он от ланцета кричит? Любил медок, люби и холодок, терпи, значит.
— Да тебе-то что?
— Нет, братцы, — перебил один из наших арестантиков, — рожки ничего; я испробовал; а вот нет хуже боли, когда тебя за ухо долго тянут.
Все засмеялись.
— А тебя нешто тянули?
— А ты думал нет? Известно, тянули.
— То-то ухи-то у тебя торчком стоят.
У этого арестантика, Шапкина, действительно были предлинные, в обе стороны торчавшие уши. Он был из бродяг, еще молодой, малый дельный и тихий, говоривший всегда с каким-то серьезным, затаенным юмором, что придавало много комизму иным его рассказам.
— Да с чего мне думать-то, что тебя за ухо тянули? Да и как я это вздумаю, туголобый ты человек? — ввязался снова Устьянцев, с негодованием обращаясь к Шапкину, хотя, впрочем, тот вовсе не к нему относился, а ко всем вообще, но Шапкин даже и не посмотрел на него.
— А тебя кто тянул? — спросил кто-то.
— Кто? Известно кто, исправник. Это, братцы, по бродяжеству было. Пришли мы тогда в К., а было нас двое, я да другой, тоже бродяга, Ефим без прозвища. По дороге мы у одного мужика в Толминой деревне разжились маленько. Деревня такая есть, То́лмина. Ну, вошли да и поглядываем: разжиться бы и здесь, да и драло. В поле четыре воли, а в городе жутко — известно. Ну, перво-наперво зашли в кабачок. Огляделись. Подходит к нам один, прогорелый такой, локти продраны, в немецком платье. То да се.
— А вы как, говорит, позвольте спросить, по документу?[3]
— Нет, говорим, без документа.
— Так-с. И мы тоже-с. Тут у меня еще двое благоприятелей, говорит, тоже у генерала Кукушкина[4] служат. Так вот смею спросить, мы вот подкутили маленько да и деньжонками пока не разжились. Полштофика благоволите нам.
— С нашим полным удовольствием, говорим. Ну, выпили. И указали тут они нам одно дело, по столевской, то есть по нашей, части. Дом тут стоял, с краю города, и богатый тут жил один мещанин, добра пропасть, ночью и положили проведать. Да только мы у богатого-то мещанина тут все впятером, в ту же ночь, и попались. Взяли нас в часть, а потом к самому исправнику. Я, говорит, их сам допрошу. Выходит с трубкой, чашку чаю за ним несут, здоровенный такой, с бакенбардами. Сел. А тут уж, кроме нас, еще троих привели, тоже бродяги. И смешной же это человек, братцы, бродяга; ну, ничего не помнит, хоть ты кол ему на голове теши, все забыл, ничего не знает. Исправник прямо ко мне: «Ты кто таков?» Так и зарычал, как из бочки. Ну, известно, то же, что и все, сказывают: ничего, дескать, не помню, ваше высокоблагородие, все позабыл.
— Постой, говорит, я еще с тобой поговорю, рожа-то мне знакомая, — сам бельмы на меня так и пялит. А я его допрежь сего никогда и не видывал. К другому: — Ты кто?
— Махни-драло, ваше высокоблагородие.
— Это так тебя и зовут Махни-драло?
— Так и зовут, ваше высокоблагородие.
— Ну, хорошо, ты Махни-драло, а ты? — к третьему, значит.
— А я за ним, ваше высокоблагородие.
— Да прозываешься-то ты как?
— Так и прозываюсь: «А я за ним», ваше высокоблагородие.
— Да кто ж тебя, подлеца, так назвал?
— Добрые люди так назвали, ваше высокоблагородие. На свете не без добрых людей, ваше высокоблагородие, известно.
— А кто такие эти добрые люди?
— А я запамятовал маленько, ваше высокоблагородие, уж извольте простить великодушно.
— Всех позабыл?
— Всех позабыл, ваше высокоблагородие.
— Да ведь были ж у тебя тоже отец и мать?.. Их-то хоть помнишь ли?
— Надо так полагать, что были, ваше высокоблагородие, а впрочем, тоже маненько запамятовал; может, и были, ваше высокоблагородие.
— Да где ж ты жил до сих пор?
— В лесу, ваше высокоблагородие.
— Все в лесу?
— Все в лесу.
— Ну, а зимой?
— Зимы не видал, ваше высокоблагородие.
— Ну, а ты, тебя как зовут?
— Топором, ваше высокоблагородие.
— А тебя?
— Точи не зевай, ваше высокоблагородие.
— А тебя?
— Потачивай небось, ваше высокоблагородие.
— Все ничего не помните?
— Ничего не помним, ваше высокоблагородие.
Стоит, смеется, и они на него глядя, усмехаются. Ну, а другой раз и в зубы ткнет, как нарвешься. А народ-то все здоровенный, жирные такие.
— Отвести их в острог, говорит, я с ними потом; ну, а ты оставайся, — это мне то есть говорит. — Пошел сюда, садись! — Смотрю: стол, бумага, перо. Думаю: «Чего ж он это ладит делать?» — Садись, говорит, на стул, бери перо, пиши! — а сам схватил меня за ухо и тянет. Я смотрю на него, как черт на попа: «Не умею, говорю, ваше высокоблагородие». — Пиши!
— Помилосердуйте, ваше высокоблагородие. — Пиши, как умеешь, так и пиши! — а сам все за ухо тянет, все тянет, да как завернет! Ну, братцы, скажу, легче бы он мне триста розог всыпал, ажно искры посыпались, — пиши, да и только!
— Да что он, сдурел, что ли?
— Нет, не сдурел. А в Т-ке писарек занедолго штуку выкинул: деньги тяпнул казенные да с тем и бежал, тоже уши торчали. Ну, дали знать повсеместно. А я по приметам-то как будто и подошел, так вот он и пытал меня: умею ль я писать и как я пишу?
— Эко дело, парень! А больно?
— Говорю, больно.
Раздался всеобщий смех.
— Ну, а написал?
— Да чего написал? Стал пером водить, водил-водил по бумаге-то, он и бросил. Ну, плюх с десяток накидал, разумеется, да с тем и пустил, тоже в острог, значит.
— А ты разве умеешь писать?
— Прежде умел, а вот как перьями стали писать, так уж я и разучился…
Вот в таких рассказах, или, лучше сказать, в такой болтовне, проходило иногда наше скучное время. Господи, что это была за скука! Дни длинные, душные, один на другой точь-в-точь похожие. Хоть бы книга какая-нибудь! И между тем я, особенно вначале, часто ходил в госпиталь, иногда больной, иногда просто лежать; уходил от острога. Тяжело было там, еще тяжелее, чем здесь, нравственно тяжелее. Злость, вражда, свара, зависть, беспрерывные придирки к нам, дворянам, злые, угрожающие лица! Тут же в госпитале все были более на равной ноге, жили более по-приятельски. Самое грустное время в продолжение целого дня приходилось вечером, при свечах, и в начале ночи. Укладываются спать рано. Тусклый ночник светит вдали у дверей яркой точкой, а в нашем конце полумрак. Становится смрадно и душно. Иной не может заснуть, встанет и сидит часа полтора на постели, склонив свою голову в колпаке, как будто о чем-то думает. Смотришь на него целый час и стараешься угадать, о чем он думает, чтобы тоже как-нибудь убить время. А то начнешь мечтать, вспоминать прошедшее, рисуются широкие и яркие картины в воображении; припоминаются такие подробности, которых в другое время и не припомнил бы и не прочувствовал бы так, как теперь. А то гадаешь про будущее: как-то выйдешь из острога? Куда? Когда это будет? Воротишься ль когда-нибудь на свою родимую сторону? Думаешь, думаешь, и надежда зашевелится в душе… А то иной раз просто начнешь считать: раз, два, три и т. д., чтоб как-нибудь среди этого счета заснуть. Я иногда насчитывал до трех тысяч и не засыпал. Вот кто-нибудь заворочается. Устьянцев закашляет своим гнилым, чахоточным кашлем и потом слабо застонет и каждый раз приговаривает: «Господи, я согрешил!» И странно слышать этот больной, разбитый и ноющий голос среди всеобщей тиши. А вот где-нибудь в уголке тоже не спят и разговаривают с своих коек. Один что-нибудь начнет рассказывать про свою быль, про далекое, про минувшее, про бродяжничество, про детей, про жену, про прежние порядки. Так и чувствуешь уже по одному отдаленному шепоту, что все, об чем он рассказывает, никогда к нему опять не воротится, а сам он, рассказчик, — ломоть отрезанный; другой слушает. Слышен только тихий, равномерный шепот, точно вода журчит где-то далеко… Помню, однажды, в одну длинную зимнюю ночь, я прослушал один рассказ. С первого взгляда он мне показался каким-то горячешным сном, как будто я лежал в лихорадке и мне все это приснилось в жару, в бреду…
Примечания
1. ↑ Впервые — в журнале «Время», 1862, том VII, № 2, отд. I, с. 579—597.
2. ↑ Все, что я пишу здесь о наказаниях и казнях, было в мое время. Теперь, я слышал, все это изменилось и изменяется. (Прим. автора).
3. ↑ По паспорту. (Прим. автора).
4. ↑ То есть в лесу, где поет кукушка. Он хочет сказать, что они тоже бродяги. (Прим. автора).

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IV. Акулькин муж

Рассказ

Ночь была поздняя, час двенадцатый. Я было заснул, но вдруг проснулся. Тусклый, маленький свет отдаленного ночника едва озарял палату… Почти все уже спали. Спал даже Устьянцев, и в тишине слышно было, как тяжело ему дышится и как хрипит у него в горле с каждым дыханьем мокрота. В отдалении, в сенях, раздались вдруг тяжелые шаги приближающейся караульной смены. Брякнуло прикладом об пол ружье. Отворилась палата; ефрейтор, осторожно ступая, пересчитал больных. Через минуту заперли палату, поставили нового часового, караул удалился, и опять прежняя тишина. Тут только я заметил, что неподалеку от меня, слева, двое не спали и как будто шептались между собою. Это случалось в палатах: иногда дни и месяцы лежат один подле другого и не скажут ни слова, и вдруг как-нибудь разговорятся в ночной вызывающий час, и один начнет перед другим выкладывать все свое прошедшее.
Они, по-видимому, давно уже говорили. Начала я не застал, да и теперь не все мог расслышать; но мало-помалу привык и стал все понимать. Мне не спалось: что же делать, как не слушать?.. Один рассказывал с жаром, полулежа на постели, приподняв голову и вытянув по направлению к товарищу шею. Он, видимо, был разгорячен, возбужден; ему хотелось рассказывать. Слушатель его угрюмо и совершенно равнодушно сидел на своей койке, протянув по ней ноги, изредка что-нибудь мычал в ответ или в знак участия рассказчику, но как будто более для приличия, а не в самом деле, и поминутно набивал из рожка свой нос табаком. Это был исправительный солдат Черевин, человек лет пятидесяти, угрюмый педант, холодный резонер и дурак с самолюбием. Рассказчик Шишков был еще молодой малый, лет под тридцать, наш гражданский арестант, работавший в швальне. До сих пор я мало обращал на него внимания; да и потом во все время моей острожной жизни как-то не тянуло меня им заняться. Это был пустой и взбалмошный человек. Иногда молчит, живет угрюмо, держит себя грубо, по неделям не говорит. А иногда вдруг ввяжется в какую-нибудь историю, начнет сплетничать, горячится из пустяков, снует из казармы в казарму, передает вести, наговаривает, из себя выходит. Его побьют, он опять замолчит. Парень был трусоватый и жидкий. Все как-то с пренебрежением с ним обходились. Был он небольшого роста, худощавый; глаза какие-то беспокойные, а иногда как-то тупо задумчивые. Случалось ему что-нибудь рассказывать: начнет горячо, с жаром, даже руками размахивает — и вдруг порвет али сойдет на другое, увлечется новыми подробностями и забудет, о чем начал говорить. Он часто ругивался и непременно, бывало, когда ругается, попрекает в чем-нибудь человека, в какой-нибудь вине перед собой, с чувством говорит, чуть не плачет… На балалайке он играл недурно и любил играть, а на праздниках даже плясал, и плясал хорошо, когда, бывало, заставят… Его очень скоро можно было что-нибудь заставить сделать… Он не то чтоб уж так был послушен, а любил лезть в товарищество и угождать из товарищества.
Я долго не мог вникнуть, про что он рассказывает. Мне казалось тоже сначала, что он все отступает от темы и увлекается посторонним. Он, может быть, и замечал, что Черевину почти дела нет до его рассказа, но, кажется, хотел нарочно убедить себя, что слушатель его — весь внимание, и, может быть, ему было бы очень больно, если б он убедился в противном.
— …Бывало, выйдет на базар-то, — продолжал он, — все кланяются, чествуют, одно слово — богатей.
— Торги, говоришь, имел?
— Ну да, торги. Оно по мещанству-то промеж нами бедно. Голь как есть. Бабы-то с реки-то, на яр, эвона куда воду носят в огороде полить; маются-маются, а к осени и на щи-то не выберут. Разор. Ну, заимку большую имел, землю работниками пахал, троих держал, опять к тому ж своя пасека, медом торговали и скотом тоже, и по нашему месту, значит, был в великом уважении. Стар больно был, семьдесят лет, кость-то тяжелая стала, седой, большой такой. Этта выйдет в лисьей шубе на базар-то, так все-то чествуют. Чувствуют, значит. «Здравствуйте, батюшка, Анкудим Трофимыч!» — «Здравствуй, скажет, и ты». Никем то есть не побрезгает. «Живите больше, Анкудим Трофимыч!» — «А как твои дела?» — спросит. «Да наши дела, как сажа бела. Вы как, батюшка?» — «Живем и мы, скажет, по грехам нашим, тоже небо коптим». — «Живите больше, Анкудим Трофимыч!» Никем то есть не брезгует, а говорит — так всякое слово его словно в рубль идет. Начетчик был, грамотей, все-то божественное читает. Посадит старуху перед собой: «Ну, слушай, жена, понимай!» — и начнет толковать. А старуха-то не то чтобы старая была, на второй уж на ней женился, для детей, значит, от первой-то не было. Ну, а от второй-то, от Марьи-то Степановны, два сына были еще невзрослые, младшего-то, Васю, шестидесяти лет прижил, а Акулька-то, дочь из всех старшая, значит, восемнадцати лет была.
— Это твоя-то, жена-то?
— Погоди, сначала тут Филька Морозов набухвостит. Ты, говорит Филька-то Анкудиму-то, делись; все четыреста целковых отдай, а я работник, что ли, тебе? не хочу с тобой торговать и Акульку твою, говорит, брать не хочу. Я теперь, говорит, закурил. У меня, говорит, теперь родители померли, так я и деньги пропью, да потом в наемщики, значит, в солдаты пойду, а через десять лет фельдмаршалом сюда к вам приеду. Анкудим-то ему деньги и отдал, совсем как есть рассчитался, — потому еще отец его с стариком-то на один капитал торговали. «Пропащий ты, говорит, человек». А он ему: «Ну, еще пропащий я или нет, а с тобой, седая борода, научишься шилом молоко хлебать. Ты, говорит, экономию с двух грошей загнать хочешь, всякую дрянь собираешь, — не годится ли в кашу. Я, дескать, на это плевать хотел. Копишь-копишь, да черта и купишь. У меня, говорит, характер. А Акульку твою все-таки не возьму: я, говорит, и без того с ней спал…»
— Да как же, говорит Анкундим-то, ты смеешь позорить честного отца, честную дочь? Когда ты с ней спал, змеиное ты сало, шучья ты кровь? — а сам и затрясся весь. Сам Филька рассказывал.
— Да не то что за меня, говорит, я так сделаю, что и ни за кого Акулька ваша теперь не пойдет, никто не возьмет, и Микита Григорьич теперь не возьмет, потому она теперь бесчестная. Мы еще с осени с ней на житье схватились. А я теперь за сто раков не соглашусь. Вот на пробу давай сейчас сто раков — не соглашусь…
И закурил же он у нас, парень! Да так, что земля стоном стоит, по городу-то гул идет. Товарищей понабрал, денег куча, месяца три кутил, все спустил. «Я, говорит, бывало, как деньги все покончу, дом спущу, все спущу, а потом либо в наемщики, либо бродяжить пойду!» С утра, бывало, до вечера пьян, с бубенчиками на паре ездил. И уж так его любили девки, что ужасти. На торбе хорошо играл.
— Значит, он с Акулькой еще допрежь того дело имел?
— Стой, подожди. Я тогда тоже родителя схоронил, а матушка моя пряники, значит, пекла, на Анкудима работали, тем и кормились. Житье у нас было плохое. Ну, тоже заимка за лесом была, хлебушка сеяли, да после отца-то все порешили, потом я тоже закурил, братец ты мой. От матери деньги побоями вымогал…
— Это не хорошо, коли побоями. Грех великий.
— Бывало, пьян, братец ты мой, с утра до ночи. Дом у нас был еще так себе, ничего, хоть гнилой, да свой, да в избе-то хоть зайца гоняй. Голодом, бывало, сидим, по неделе тряпицу жуем. Мать-то меня, бывало, костит, костит; а мне чего!.. Я, брат, тогда от Фильки Морозова не отходил. С утра до ночи с ним. «Играй, говорит, мне на гитаре и танцуй, а я буду лежать и в тебя деньги кидать, потому как я самый богатый человек». И чего-чего он не делал! Краденого только не принимал: «Я, говорит, не вор, а честный человек». «А пойдемте, говорит, Акульке ворота дегтем мазать; потому не хочу, чтоб Акулька за Микиту Григорьича вышла. Это мне теперь дороже киселя, говорит». А за Микиту Григорьича старик еще допрежь сего хотел девку отдать. Микита-то старик тоже был, вдовец, в очках ходил, торговал. Он как услыхал, что про Акульку слухи пошли, да и на попятный: «Мне, говорит, Анкудим Трофимыч, это в большое бесчестье будет, да и жениться я, по старости лет, не желаю». Вот мы Акульке ворота и вымазали. Так уж драли ее, драли за это дома-то… Марья Степановна кричит: «Со света сживу! » А старик: «В древние годы, говорит, при честных патриархах, я бы ее, говорит, на костре изрубил, а ныне, говорит, в свете тьма и тлен». Бывало, суседи на всю улицу слышат, как Акулька ревма-ревет: секут с утра до ночи. А Филька на весь базар кричит: «Славная говорит, есть девка Акулька, собутыльница. Чисто ходишь, бело носишь, скажи, кого любишь! Я, говорит, им так кинулся в нос, помнить будут». В то время и я раз повстречал Акульку, с ведрами шла, да и кричу: «Здравствуйте, Акулина Кудимовна! Салфет вашей милости, чисто ходишь, где берешь, дай подписку, с кем живешь!» — да только и сказал; а она как посмотрела на меня, такие у ней большие глаза-то были, а сама похудела, как щепка. Как посмотрела на меня, мать-то думала, что она смеется со мною, и кричит в подворотню: «Что ты зубы-то моешь, бесстыдница!» — так в тот день ее опять драть. Бывало, целый битый час дерет. «Засеку, говорит, потому она мне теперь не дочь».
— Распутная, значит, была.
— А вот ты слушай, дядюшка. Мы вот как это все тогда с Филькой пьянствовали, мать ко мне и приходит, а я лежу: «Что ты, говорит, подлец, лежишь? Разбойник ты, говорит, этакой». Ругается, значит. «Женись, говорит, вот на Акульке женись. Они теперь и за тебя рады отдать будут, триста рублей одних денег дадут». А я ей: «Да ведь она, говорю, теперь уж на весь свет бесчестная стала». — «А ты дурак, говорит; венцом все прикрывается; тебе ж лучше, коль она перед тобой на всю жизнь виновата выйдет. А мы бы ихними деньгами и справились; я уж с Марьей, говорит, Степановной говорила. Очень слушает». А я: «Деньги, говорю, двадцать целковых на стол, тогда женюсь». И вот, веришь иль нет, до самой свадьбы без просыпу был пьян. А тут еще Филька морозов грозит: «Я тебе, говорит, Акулькин муж, все ребра сломаю, а с женой твоей, захочу, кажинную ночь спать буду». А я ему: «Врешь, собачье мясо!» Ну, тут он меня по всей улице осрамил. Я прибежал домой: «Не хочу, говорю, жениться, коли сейчас мне еще пятьдесят целковых не выложут!»
— А отдавали за тебя-то?
— За меня-то? А отчего нет? Мы ведь не бесчестные были. Мой родитель только под конец от пожару разорился, а то еще ихнего богаче жили. Анкундим-то и говорит: «Вы, говорит, голь перекатная». А я и отвечаю: «Немало, дескать, у вас дегтем-то ворота мазаны». А он мне: "Что ж, говорит, ты над нами куражишься? Ты докажи, что она бесчестная, а на всякий роток не накинешь платок. Вот бог, а вот, говорит, порог, не бери. Только деньги, что забрал, отдай. Вот я тогда с Филькой и порешил: с Митрием Быковым послал ему сказать, что я его на весь свет теперь обесчествую, и до самой свадьбы, братец ты мой, без просыпу был пьян. Только к венцу отрезвился. Как привезли нас этта от венца, посадили, а Митрофан Степаныч, дядя, значит, и говорит: «Хоть и не честно, да крепко, говорит, дело сделано и покончено». Старик-то, Анкудим-то, был тоже пьян и заплакал, сидит — а у него слезы по бороде текут. Ну я, брат, тогда вот как сделал: взял я в карман с собой плеть, еще до венца припас, и так и положил, что уж натешусь же я теперь над Акулькой, знай, дескать, как бесчестным обманом замуж выходить, да чтоб и люди знали, что я не дураком женился…
— И дело! Значит, чтоб она и впредь чувствовала…
— Нет, дядюшка, ты знай помалчивай. По нашему-то месту у нас тотчас же от венца и в клеть ведут, а те покамест там пьют. Вот и оставили нас с Акулькой в клети. Она такая сидит белая, ни кровинки в лице. Испужалась, значит. Волосы у ней были тоже совсем как лен белые. Глаза были большие. И все, бывало, молчит, не слышно ее, словно немая в доме живет. Чудная совсем. Что ж, братец, можешь ты это думать: я-то плеть приготовил и тут же у постели положил, а она, братец ты мой, как есть ни в чем не повинная передо мной вышла.
— Что ты!
— Ни в чем; как есть честная из честного дома. И за что же, братец ты мой, она после эфтова такую муку перенесла? За что ж ее Филька Морозов перед всем светом обесчестил?
— Да.
— Стал я это перед ней тогда, тут же с постели, на коленки, руки сложил: «Матушка, говорю, Акулина Кудимовна, прости ты меня, дурака, в том, что я тебя тоже за такую почитал. Прости ты меня, говорю, подлеца!» А она сидит передо мной на кровати, глядит на меня, обе руки мне на плеча положила, смеется, а у самой слезы текут; плачет и смеется… Я тогда как вышел ко всем: «Ну, говорю, встречу теперь Фильку Морозова — и не жить ему больше на свете!» А старики, так те уж кому молиться-то не знают: мать-то чуть в ноги ей не упала, воет. А старик и сказал: «Знали б да ведали, не такого бы мужа тебе, возлюбленная дочь наша, сыскали». А как вышли мы с ней в первое воскресенье в церковь: на мне смушачья шапка, тонкого сукна кафтан, шаровары плисовые; она в новой заячьей шубке, платочек шелковый, — то есть я ее стою и она меня стоит: вот как идем! Люди на нас любуются: я-то сам по себе, а Акулинушка тоже хоть нельзя перед другими похвалить, нельзя и похулить, а так что из десятка не выкинешь…
— Ну и хорошо.
— Ну и слушай. Я после свадьбы на другой же день, хоть и пьяный, да от гостей убег; вырвался этто я и бегу: «Давай, говорю, сюда бездельника Фильку Морозова, — подавай его сюда, подлеца!» Кричу по базару-то! Ну и пьян тоже был; так меня уж подле Власовых изловили да силком три человека домой привели. А по городу-то толк идет. Девки на базаре промеж себя говорят: «Девоньки, умницы, вы что знаете? Акулька-то честная вышла». А Филька-то мне мало время спустя при людях и говорит: «Продай жену — пьян будешь. У нас, говорит, солдат Яшка затем и женился: с женой не спал, а три года пьян был». Я ему говорю: «Ты подлец! » — «А ты, говорит, дурак. Ведь тебя нетрезвого повенчали. Что ж ты в эфтом деле, после того, смыслить мог?» Я домой пришел и кричу: «Вы, говорю, меня пьяного повенчали!» Мать было тут же вцепилась. «У тебя, говорю, матушка, золотом уши завешаны. Подавай Акульку!» Ну, и стал я ее трепать. Трепал я ее, брат, трепал, часа два трепал, доколе сам с ног не свалился; три недели с постели не вставала.
— Оно, конечно, — флегматически заметил Черевин, — их не бей, так они… а разве ты ее застал с полюбовником-то?
— Нет, застать не застал, — помолчав и как бы с усилием заметил Шишков. — Да уж обидно стало мне очень, люди совсем задразнили, и всему-то этому коновод был Филька. «У тебя, говорит, жена для модели, чтобы люди глядели». Нас, гостей, созвал; такую откупорку задал: «Супруга, говорит, у него милосердивая душа, благородная, учтивая, обращательная, всем хороша, во как у него теперь! А забыл, парень, как сам ей дегтем ворота мазал?» Я-то пьян сидел, а он как схватит меня в ту пору за волосы, как схватит, пригнул книзу-то: «Пляши, говорит, Акулькин муж, я тебя так буду за волоса держать, а ты пляши, меня потешай!» — «Подлец ты! » — кричу. А он мне: «Я к тебе с канпанией приеду и Акульку, твою жену, при тебе розгами высеку, сколько мне будет угодно». Так я, верь не верь, после того целый месяц из дому боялся уйти: приедет, думаю, обесчествует. Вот за это самое и стал ее бить…
— Да чего ж бить-то? Руки свяжут, язык не завяжут. Бить тоже много не годится. Накажи, поучи, да и обласкай. На то жена.
Шишков некоторое время молчал.
— Обидно было, — начал он снова, — опять же эту привычку взял; иной день с утра до вечера бью: встала неладно, пошла нехорошо. Не побью, так скучно. Сидит она, бывало, молчит, в окно смотрит, плачет… Все, бывало, плачет, жаль ее этто станет, а бью. Мать меня, бывало, за нее костит-костит: «Подлец ты, говорит, варначье твое мясо!» — «Убью, кричу, и не смей мне теперь никто говорить; потому меня обманом женили». Сначала старик Анкундим-то вступался, сам приходил: «Ты, говорит, еще не бог знает, какой член; я на тебя и управу найду!» А потом отступился. А Марья-то Степановна так смирилась совсем. Однажды пришла — слезно молит: «С докукой к тебе, Иван Семеныч, статья небольшая, а просьба велика. Вели свет видеть, батюшка, — кланяется, — смирись, прости ты ее! Нашу дочку злые люди оговорили: сам знаешь, честную брал…» В ноги кланяется, плачет. А я-то куражусь: «Я вас и слышать теперь не хочу! Что хочу теперь, то над всеми вами и делаю, потому я теперь в себе не властен; а Филька Морозов, говорю, мне приятель и первый друг…»
— Значит, опять вместе закурили?
— Куды! И приступу к нему нет. Совсем как есть опился. Все свое порешил и в наемщики у мещанина нанялся; за старшого сына пошел. А уж по нашему месту, коли наемщик, так уж до самого того дня, как свезут его, все перед ним в доме лежать должно, а он над всем полный господин. Деньги при сдаче получает сполна, а до того в хозяйском доме живет, по полугоду живут, и что только они тут настроят над хозяевами-то, так только святых вон понеси! Я, дескать, за твоего сына в солдаты иду, значит, ваш благодетель, так вы все мне уважать должны, не то откажусь. Так Филька-то у мещанина-то дым коромыслом пустил, с дочерью спит, хозяина за бороду кажинный день после обеда таскает — все в свое удовольствие делает. Кажинный день ему баня, и чтоб вином пар поддавали, а в баню его чтоб бабы на своих руках носили. Домой с гулянки воротится, станет на улице: «Не хочу в ворота, разбирай заплот!» — так ему в другом месте, мимо ворот, заплот разбирать должны, он и пройдет. Наконец кончил, повезли сдавать, отрезвили. Народу-то, народу-то по всей-то улице валит: Фильку Морозова сдавать везут! Он на все стороны кланяется. А Акулька на ту пору с огорода шла; как Филька-то увидал ее, у самых наших ворот: «Стой!» — кричит, выскочил из телеги да прямо ей земной поклон: «Душа ты моя, говорит, ягода, любил я тебя два года, а теперь меня с музыкой в солдаты везут. Прости, говорит, честного отца честная дочь, потому я подлец перед тобой, — во всем виноват!» И другой раз в землю ей поклонился. Акулька-то стала, словно испужалась сначала, а потом поклонилась ему в пояс да и говорит: «Прости и ты меня, добрый молодец, а я зла на тебя никакого не знаю». Я за ней в избу: «Что ты ему, собачье мясо, сказала?» А она, вот веришь мне или нет, посмотрела на меня: «Да я его, говорит, больше света теперь люблю!»
— Ишь ты!..
— Я в тот день целый день ей ни слова не говорил… Только к вечеру: «Акулька! я тебя теперь убью, говорю». Ночь-то этто не спится, вышел в сени кваску испить, а тут и заря заниматься стала. Я в избу вошел. «Акулька, говорю, собирайся на заимку ехать». А я еще и допрежь того собирался, и матушка знала, что поедем. «Вот это, говорит, дело: пора страдная, а работник, слышно, там третий день животом лежит». Я телегу запрег, молчу. Из нашего-то города как выехать, тут сейчас тебе бор пойдет на пятнадцать верст, а за бором-то наша заимка. Версты три бором проехали, я лошадь остановил: «Вставай, говорю, Акулина; твой конец пришел». Она смотрит на меня, испужалась, встала передо мной, молчит. «Надоела ты мне, говорю; молись богу!» Да как схвачу ее за волосы; косы-то были такие толстые, длинные, на руку их замотал, да сзади ее с обеих сторон коленками придавил, вынул нож, голову-то ей загнул назад да как тилисну по горлу ножом… Она как закричит, кровь-то как брызнет, я нож бросил, обхватил ее руками-то спереди, лег на землю, обнял ее и кричу над ней, ревма-реву; и она кричит, и я кричу; вся трепещет, бьется из рук-то, а кровь-то на меня, кровь-то — и на лицо-то и на руки так и хлещет, так и хлещет. Бросил я ее, страх на меня напал, и лошадь бросил, а сам бежать, бежать, домой к себе по задам забежал, да в баню: баня у нас такая старая, неслужащая стояла; под полок забился и сижу там. До ночи там просидел.
— А Акулька-то?
— А она-то, знать, после меня встала и тоже домой пошла. Так ее за сто шагов уж от того места потом нашли.
— Недорезал, значит.
— Да… — Шишков на минуту остановился.
— Этта жила такая есть, — заметил Черевин, — коли ее, эту самую жилу, с первого раза не перерезать, то все будет биться человек, и сколько бы крови ни вытекло, не помрет.
— Да она ж померла. Мертвую повечеру-то нашли. Дали знать, меня стали искать и разыскали уж к ночи, в бане… Вот уж четвертый год, почитай, здесь живу, — прибавил он помолчав.
— Гм… Оно, конечно, коли не бить — не будет добра, — хладнокровно и методически заметил Черевин, опять вынимая рожок. Он начал нюхать, долго и с расстановкой. — Опять-таки тоже, парень, — продолжал он, — выходишь ты сам по себе оченно глуп. Я тоже этак свою жену с полюбовником раз застал. Так я ее зазвал в сарай; повод сложил надвое. «Кому, говорю, присягаешь? Кому присягаешь?» Да уж драл ее, драл, поводом-то, драл-драл, часа полтора ее драл, так она мне: «Ноги, кричит, твои буду мыть да воду эту пить». Овдотьей звали ее.

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V. Летняя пора

Но вот уже и начало апреля, вот уже приближается и святая неделя. Мало-помалу начинаются и летние работы. Солнце с каждым днем все теплее и ярче; воздух пахнет весною и раздражительно действует на организм. Наступающие красные дни волнуют и закованного человека, рождают и в нем какие-то желания, стремления, тоску. Кажется, еще сильнее грустишь о свободе под ярким солнечным лучом, чем в ненастный зимний или осенний день, и это заметно на всех арестантах. Они как будто и рады светлым дням, но вместе с тем в них усиливается какая-то нетерпеливость, порывчатость. Право, я заметил, что весной как будто чаще случались у нас острожные ссоры. Чаще слышался шум, крик, гам, затевались истории; а вместе с тем, случалось, подметишь вдруг где-нибудь на работе чей-нибудь задумчивый и упорный взгляд в синеющую даль, куда-нибудь туда, на другой берег Иртыша, где начинается необъятною скатертью, тысячи на полторы версты, вольная киргизская степь; подметишь чей-нибудь глубокий вздох, всей грудью, как будто так и тянет человека дохнуть этим далеким, свободным воздухом и облегчить им придавленную, закованную душу. «Эхма! » — говорит наконец арестант и вдруг, точно стряхнув с себя мечты и раздумье, нетерпеливо и угрюмо схватится за заступ или за кирпичи, которые надо перетащить с одного места на другое. Через минуту он уже и забывает свое внезапное ощущение и начинает смеяться или ругаться, судя по характеру; а то вдруг с необыкновенным, вовсе не соразмерным с потребностями жаром схватится за рабочий урок, если он задан ему, и начинает работать, — работать изо всех сил, точно желая задавить в себе тяжестью работы что-то такое, что само его теснит и давит изнутри. Все это народ сильный, большею частью в цвете лет и сил… Тяжелы кандалы в эту пору! Я не поэтизирую в эту минуту и уверен в правде моей заметки. Кроме того, что в тепле, среди яркого солнца, когда слышишь и ощущаешь всей душою, всем существом своим воскресающую вокруг себя с необъятной силой природу, еще тяжеле становится запертая тюрьма, конвой и чужая воля; кроме того, в это весеннее время по Сибири и по всей России с первым жаворонком начинается бродяжество: бегут божьи люди из острогов и спасаются в лесах. После душной ямы, после судов, кандалов и палок бродят они по всей своей воле, где захотят, где попригляднее и повольготнее; пьют и едят где что удастся, что бог пошлет, а по ночам мирно засыпают где-нибудь в лесу или в поле, без большой заботы, без тюремной тоски, как лесные птицы, прощаясь на ночь с одними звездами небесными, под божьим оком. Кто говорит! Иногда и тяжело, и голодно, и изнурительно «служить у генерала Кукушкина». По целым суткам иной раз не приходится видеть хлеба; от всех надо прятаться, хорониться; приходится и воровать, и грабить, а иногда и зарезать. «Поселенец что младенец: на что взглянет, то и тянет», — говоря в Сибири про поселенцев. Это присловье во всей силе и даже с некоторой прибавкой может быть приложено и к бродяге. Бродяга редко не разбойник и всегда почти вор, разумеется больше по необходимости, чем по призванию. Есть закоренелые бродяги. Бегут иные, даже кончившие свои каторжные сроки, уже с поселения. Казалось бы, и доволен он на поселении и обеспечен, а нет! все куда-то тянет, куда-то отзывает его. Жизнь по лесам, жизнь бедная и ужасная, но вольная и полная приключений, имеет что-то соблазнительное, какую-то таинственную прелесть для тех, кто уже раз испытал ее, и смотришь — бежал человек, иной даже скромный, аккуратный, который уже обещал сделаться хорошим оседлым человеком и дельным хозяином. Иной даже женится, заводит детей, лет пять живет на одном месте и вдруг в одно прекрасное утро исчезает куда-нибудь, оставляя в недоумении жену, детей и всю волость, к которой приписан. У нас в остроге мне указывали на одного из таких бегунов. Он никаких особенных преступлений не сделал, по крайней мере не слыхать было, чтоб говорили о нем в этом роде, а все бегал, всю жизнь свою пробегал. Бывал он и на южной русской границе за Дунаем, и в киргизской степи, и в Восточной Сибири, и на Кавказе — везде побывал. Кто знает, может быть, при других обстоятельствах из него бы вышел какой-нибудь Робинзон Крузе с его страстью путешествовать. Впрочем, все это мне об нем говорили другие; сам же он мало в остроге разговаривал, и то разве промолвит что-нибудь самое необходимое. Это был очень маленький мужичонка, лет уже пятидесяти, чрезвычайно смирный, с чрезвычайно спокойным и даже тупым лицом, спокойным до идиотства. Летом он любил сидеть на солнышке и непременно, бывало, мурлычет про себя какую-нибудь песенку, но так тихо, что за пять шагов от него уже не слышно. Черты лица его были какие-то одеревенелые; ел он мало, все больше хлебушка; никогда-то он не купил ни одного калача, ни шкалика вина; да вряд ли у него и были когда-нибудь деньги, вряд ли даже он умел и считать. Ко всему он относился совершенно спокойно. Острожных собак иногда кормил из своих рук, а у нас острожных собак никто не кормил. Да русский человек вообще не любит кормить собак. Говорят, он был женат, и даже раза два; говорили, что у него есть где-то дети… За что он попал в острог, совершенно не знаю. Наши все ждали, что он и от нас улизнет; но или время его не пришло, или уж года ушли, но он жил себе да поживал, как-то созерцательно относясь ко всей этой странной среде, окружавшей его. Впрочем, положиться было нельзя; хотя, казалось бы, и зачем ему было бежать, что за выигрыш? А между тем все-таки, в целом, лесная, бродячая жизнь — рай перед острожной. Это так понятно; да и не может быть никакого сравнения. Хоть тяжелая доля, да все своя воля. Вот почему всякий арестант на Руси, где бы он ни сидел, становится как-то беспокоен весною, с первыми приветными лучами весеннего солнца. Хоть и далеко не всякий намерен бежать: положительно можно сказать, что решается на это, по трудности и по ответственности, из сотни один; но зато остальные девяносто девять хоть помечтают о том, как бы можно было бежать и куда бы это бежать; хоть душу себе отведут на одном желании на одном представлении возможности. Иной хоть припомнит, как он прежде когда-то бегал… Я говорю теперь о решеных. Но, разумеется, гораздо чаще и всех больше решаются на побег из подсудимых. Решеные же на срок только раз бегают в начале своего арестантства. Отбыв же два-три года каторги, арестант уже начинает ценить эти годы и мало-помалу соглашается про себя лучше уж закончить законным образом свой рабочий термин и выйти на поселение, чем решиться на такой риск и на такую гибель в случае неудачи. А неудача так возможна. Только разве десятому удается переменить свою участь. Из решеных рискуют тоже чаще других бежать осужденные на слишком долгие сроки. Пятнадцать-двадцать лет кажутся бесконечностью, и решеный на такой срок постоянно готов помечтать о перемене участи, хотя бы десять лет уже отбыл в каторге. Наконец, и клеймы отчасти мешают рисковать на побег. Переменить же участь — технический термин. Так и на допросах, если уличат в побеге, арестант отвечает, что он хотел переменить свою участь. Это немного книжное выражение буквально приложимо к этому делу. Всякий бегун имеет в виду не то что освободиться совсем, — он знает, что это почти невозможно, — но или попасть в другое заведение, или угодить на поселение, или судиться вновь, по новому преступлению, — совершенному уже по бродяжеству, — одним словом, куда угодно, только бы не на старое, надоевшее ему место, не в прежний острог. Все эти бегуны, если найдут себе в продолжение лета какого-нибудь случайного, необыкновенного места, где бы перезимовать, — если, например, не наткнутся на какого-нибудь укрывателя беглых, которому в этом выгода; если, наконец, не добудут себе, иногда через убийство, какого-нибудь паспорта, с которым можно везде прожить, — все они к осени, если их не изловят предварительно, большею частию сами являются густыми толпами в города и в остроги, в качестве бродяг, и садятся в тюрьмы зимовать, конечно не без надежды бежать опять летом.
Весна действовала и на меня своим влиянием. Помню, как я с жадностью смотрел иногда сквозь щели паль и подолгу стоял, бывало, прислонившись головой к нашему забору, упорно и ненасытимо всматриваясь, как зеленеет трава на нашем крепостном вале, как все гуще и гуще синеет далекое небо. Беспокойство и тоска моя росли с каждым днем, и острог становился мне все более и более ненавистным. Ненависть, которую я, в качестве дворянина, испытывал постоянно в продолжение первых лет от арестантов, становилась для меня невыносимой, отравляла всю жизнь мою ядом. В эти первые годы я часто уходил, безо всякой болезни, лежать в госпиталь, единственно для того, чтоб не быть в остроге, чтоб только избавиться от этой упорной, ничем не смиряемой всеобщей ненависти. «Вы — железные носы, вы нас заклевали!» — говорили нам арестанты, и как я завидовал, бывало, простонародью, приходившему в острог! Те сразу делались со всеми товарищами. И потому весна, призрак свободы, всеобщее веселье в природе, сказывалась на мне как-то тоже грустно и раздражительно. В конце поста, кажется на шестой неделе, мне пришлось говеть. Весь острог, еще с первой недели, разделен был старшим унтер-офицером на семь смен, по числу недель поста, для говения. В каждой смене оказалось, таким образом, человек по тридцати. Неделя говенья мне очень понравилась. Говевшие освобождались от работ. Мы ходили в церковь, которая была неподалеку от острога, раза по два и по три в день. Я давно не был в церкви. Великопостная служба, так знакомая еще с далекого детства, в родительском доме, торжественные молитвы, земные поклоны — все это расшевеливало в душе моей далекое-далекое минувшее, напоминало впечатления еще детских лет, и, помню, мне очень приятно было, когда, бывало, утром, по подмерзшей за ночь земле, нас водили под конвоем с заряженными ружьями в божий дом. Конвой, впрочем, не входил в церковь. В церкви мы становились тесной кучей у самых дверей, на самом последнем месте, так что слышно было только разве голосистого дьякона да изредка из-за толпы приметишь черную ризу да лысину священника. Я припоминаю, как, бывало, еще в детстве, стоя в церкви, смотрел я иногда на простой народ, густо теснившийся у входа и подобострастно расступавшийся перед густым эполетом, перед толстым барином или перед расфуфыренной, но чрезвычайно богомольной барыней, которые непременно проходили на первые места и готовы были поминутно ссориться из-за первого места. Там, у входа, казалось мне тогда, и молились-то не так, как у нас, молились смиренно, ревностно, земно и с каким-то полным сознанием своей приниженности.
Теперь и мне пришлось стоять на этих же местах, даже и не на этих; мы были закованные и ошельмованные; от нас все сторонились, нас все даже как будто боялись, нас каждый раз оделяли милостыней, и, помню, мне это было даже как-то приятно, какое-то утонченное, особенное ощущение сказывалось в этом странном удовольствии. «Пусть же, коли так! » — думал я. Арестанты молились очень усердно, и каждый из них каждый раз приносил в церковь свою нищенскую копейку на свечку или клал на церковный сбор. «Тоже ведь и я человек, — может быть, думал он или чувствовал, подавая, — перед богом-то все равны…» Причащались мы за ранней обедней. Когда священник с чашей в руках читал слова: «… но яко разбойника мя прийми», — почти все повалились в землю, звуча кандалами, кажется приняв эти слова буквально на свой счет.
Но вот пришла и святая. От начальства вышло нам по одному яйцу и по ломтю пшеничного сдобного хлеба. Из города опять завалили острог подаянием. Опять посещение с крестом священника, опять посещение начальства, опять жирные щи, опять пьянство и шатанье — все точь-в-точь как и на рождестве, с тою разницею, что теперь можно было гулять на дворе острога и греться на солнышке. Было как-то светлее, просторнее, чем зимой, но как-то тоскливее. Длинный, бесконечный летний день становился как-то особенно невыносимым на праздниках. В будни по крайней мере сокращался день работою.
Летние работы действительно оказались гораздо труднее зимних. Работы шли все больше по инженерным постройкам. Арестанты строили, копали землю, клали кирпичи; другие из них занимались слесарною, столярною или малярною частию при ремонтных исправлениях казенных домов. Третьи ходили в завод делать кирпичи. Эта последняя работа считалась у нас самою тяжелою. Кирпичный завод находился от крепости верстах в трех или в четырех. Каждый день в продолжение лета утром, часов в шесть, отправлялась целая партия арестантов, человек в пятьдесят, для делания кирпичей. На эту работу выбирали чернорабочих, то есть не мастеровых и не принадлежащих к какому-нибудь мастерству. Они брали с собою хлеба, потому что за дальностию места невыгодно было приходить домой обедать и, таким образом, делать верст восемь лишних, и обедали уже вечером, возвратясь в острог. Урок уже задавался на весь день, и такой, что разве в целый рабочий день арестант мог с ним справиться. Во-первых, надо было накопать и вывести глину, наносить самому воду, самому вытоптать глину в глиномятной яме и наконец-то сделать из нее что-то очень много кирпичей, кажется сотни две, чуть ли даже не две с половиной. Я всего только два раза ходил в завод. Возвращались заводские уже вечером, усталые, измученные, и постоянно целое лето попрекали других тем, что они делают самую трудную работу. Это было, кажется, их утешением. Несмотря на то, иные ходили туда даже с некоторою охотою: во-первых, дело было за городом; место было открытое, привольное, на берегу Иртыша. Все-таки поглядеть кругом отраднее: не крепостная казенщина! Можно было и покурить свободно и даже полежать с полчаса с большим удовольствием. Я же или по-прежнему ходил в мастерскую, или на алебастр, или, наконец, употреблялся в качестве подносчика кирпичей при постройках. В последнем случае пришлось однажды перетаскивать кирпичи с берега Иртыша к строившейся казарме сажен на семьдесят расстояния, через крепостной вал, и работа эта продолжалась месяца два сряду. Мне она даже понравилась, хотя веревка, на которой приходилось носить кирпичи, постоянно натирала мне плечи. Но мне нравилось то, что от работы во мне видимо развивалась сила. Сначала я мог таскать только по восьми кирпичей, а в каждом кирпиче было по двенадцати фунтов. Но потом я дошел до двенадцати и до пятнадцати кирпичей, и это меня очень радовало. Физическая сила в каторге нужна не менее нравственной для перенесения всех материальных неудобств этой проклятой жизни.
А я еще хотел жить и после острога…
Я, впрочем, любил таскать кирпичи не за то только, что от этой работы укрепляется тело, а за то еще, что работа производилась на берегу Иртыша. Я потому так часто говорю об этом береге, что единственно только с него и был виден мир божий, чистая, ясная даль, незаселенные, вольные степи, производившие на меня странное впечатление своею пустынностью. На берегу только и можно было стать к крепости задом и не видать ее. Все прочие места наших работ были в крепости или подле нее. С самых первых дней я возненавидел эту крепость и особенно иные здания. Дом нашего плац-майора казался мне каким-то проклятым, отвратительным местом, и я каждый раз с ненавистью глядел на него, когда проходил мимо. На берегу же можно было забыться: смотришь, бывало, в этот необъятный, пустынный простор, точно заключенный из окна своей тюрьмы на свободу. Все для меня было тут дорого и мило: и яркое горячее солнце на бездонном синем небе, и далекая песня киргиза, приносившаяся с киргизского берега. Всматриваешься долго и разглядишь наконец какую-нибудь бедную, обкуренную юрту какого-нибудь байгуша; разглядишь дымок у юрты, киргизку, которая о чем-то хлопочет с своими двумя баранами. Все это бедно и дико, но свободно. Разглядишь какую-нибудь птицу в синем, прозрачном воздухе и долго, упорно следишь за ее полетом: вон она всполоснулась над водой, вон исчезла в синеве, вон опять показалась чуть мелькающей точкой… Даже бедный, чахлый цветок, который я нашел рано весною в расселине каменного берега, и тот как-то болезненно остановил мое внимание. Тоска всего этого первого года каторги была нестерпимая и действовала на меня раздражительно, горько. В этот первый год от этой тоски я многого не замечал кругом себя. Я закрывал глаза и не хотел всматриваться. Среди злых, ненавистных моих товарищей-каторжников я не замечал хороших людей, людей способных и мыслить и чувствовать, несмотря на всю отвратительную кору, покрывавшую их снаружи. Между язвительными словами я иногда не замечал приветливого и ласкового слова, которое тем дороже было, что выговаривалось безо всяких видов, а нередко прямо из души, может быть более меня пострадавшей и вынесшей. Но к чему распространяться об этом? Я чрезвычайно был рад, если приходилось сильно устать, воротившись домой: авось засну! Потому что спать было у нас летом мученье, чуть ли еще не хуже, чем зимой. Вечера, правда, были иногда очень хороши. Солнце, целый день не сходившее с острожного двора, наконец закатывалось. Наступала прохлада, а за ней почти холодная (говоря сравнительно) степная ночь. Арестанты, в ожидании как запрут их, толпами ходят, бывало, по двору. Главная масса толпилась, правда, более на кухне. Там всегда подымается какой-нибудь насущный острожный вопрос, толкуется о том, о сем, разбирается иногда какой-нибудь слух, часто нелепый, но возбуждающий необыкновенное внимание этих отрешенных от мира людей; то, например, пришло известие, что нашего плац-майора сгоняют долой. Арестанты легковерны, как дети; сами знают, что известие — вздор, что принес его известный болтун и «нелепый» человек — арестант Квасов, которому уже давно положили не верить и который что ни слово, то врет, — а между тем все схватываются за известие, судят, рядят, сами себя тешат, а кончится тем, что сами на себя рассердятся, самим за себя стыдно станет, что поверили Квасову.
— Да кто ж его сгонит! — кричит один. — Небось шея толста, сдюжит!
— Да ведь и над ним, чай, старшие есть! — возражает другой, горячий и неглупый малый, видавший виды, но спорщик, каких свет не производил.
— Ворон ворону глаз не выклюет! — угрюмо, словно про себя замечает третий, уже седой человек, одиноко доедающий в углу свои щи.
— А старшие-то небось тебя придут спрашиваться — сменить его али нет? — прибавляет равнодушно четвертый, слегка тренькая на балалайке.
— А почему ж не меня? — с яростью возражает второй. — Значит, вся бедность просит, все тогда заявляйте, коли начнут опрашивать. А то у нас небось кричат, а к делу дойдет, так и на попятный!
— А ты думал как? — говорит балалаечник. — На то каторга.
— Анамеднись, — продолжает, не слушая и в горячке, спорщик, — муки оставалось. Поскребки собрали, самые что ни есть слезы, значит; послали продать. Нет, узнал; артельщик донес; отобрали; экономия, значит. Справедливо аль нет?
— Да ты кому хочешь жаловаться?
— Кому! Да самому левизору, что едет.
— Какому такому левизору?
— Это правда, братцы, что едет левизор, — говорит молодой разбитной парень, грамотный, из писарей и читавший «Герцогиню Лавальер» или что-то в этом роде. Он вечно веселый и потешник, но за некоторое знание дел и потертость его уважают. Не обращая внимания на возбужденное всеобщее любопытство о будущем ревизоре, он прямо идет к стряпке, то есть к повару, и спрашивает у него печенки. Наши стряпки часто чем-нибудь торговали в этом роде. Купят, например, на свои деньги большой кусок печенки, зажарят и продают по мелочи арестантам.
— На грош али на два? — спрашивает стряпка.
— Режь на два: пускай люди завидуют! — отвечает арестант. — Генерал, братцы, генерал такой из Петербурга едет, всю Сибирь осматривать будет. Это верно, У комендантских сказывали.
Известие производит необыкновенное волнение. С четверть часа идут расспросы: кто именно, какой генерал, какого чину и старше ли здешних генералов? О чинах, начальниках, кто из них старше, кто кого может согнуть и кто сам из них согнется, ужасно любят разговаривать арестанты, даже спорят и ругаются за генералов чуть не до драки. Казалось бы, что тут за выгода? Но подробным знанием генералов и вообще начальства измеряется и степень познаний, толковитости и прежнего, доострожного значения человека в обществе. Вообще разговор о высшем начальстве считается изящным и важным разговором в остроге.
— Значит, и взаправду выходит, братцы, что майора-то сменять едут, — замечает Квасов, маленький, красненький человечек, горячий и крайне бестолковый. Он-то первый и принес известие о майоре.
— Задарит! — отрывисто возражает угрюмый седой арестант, уже управившийся со щами.
— А и то задарит, — говорит другой. — Мало он денег-то награбил! До нас еще батальонным был. Анамеднись на протопоповской дочери жениться хотел.
— Да ведь не женился: дверь указали; беден значит. Какой он жених! Встал со стула — и все с ним. О святой все на картах продул. Федька сказывал.
— Да; мальчик не мот, а деньгам перевод.
— Эх, брат, вот и я женат был. Плохо жениться бедному: женись, а и ночь коротка! — замечает Скуратов, подвернувшийся тут же к разговору.
— Как же! Об тебе тут и речь, — замечает развязный парень из писарей. — А ты, Квасов, скажу я тебе, большой дурак. Неужели ж ты думаешь, что такого генерала майор задарит и что такой генерал будет нарочно из Петербурга ехать, чтоб майора ревизовать? Глуп же ты, парень, вот что скажу.
— А что ж? Уж коли он генерал, так и не возьмет что ли? — скептически заметил кто-то из толпы.
— Знамо дело, не возьмет, а возьмет, так уж толсто возьмет.
— Вестимо, толсто; по чину.
— Генерал всегда возьмет, — решительно замечает Квасов.
— Ты, что ли, давал ему? — с презрением говорит вдруг вошедший Баклушин. — Да ты и генерала-то вряд ли когда видал?
— Ан видал?
— Врешь.
— Сам соври.
— Ребята, коли он видал, пусть сейчас при всех говорит, какого он знает генерала? Ну, говори, потому я всех генералов знаю.
— Я генерала Зиберта видел, — как-то нерешительно отвечает Квасов.
— Зиберта? Такого и генерала нет. Знать, в спину он тебе заглянул, Зиберт-то, когда, может, еще только подполковником был, а тебе со страху и показалось, что генерал.
— Нет, вы меня послушайте, — кричит Скуратов, — потому я женатый человек. Генерал такой действительно был на Москве, Зиберт, из немцев, а русский. У русского попа кажинный год исповедовался о госпожинках, и все, братцы, он воду пил, словно утка. Кажинный день сорок стаканов москворецкой воды выпивал. Это, сказывали, он от какой-то болезни водой лечился; мне сам его камардин сказывал.
— В брюхе-то с воды-то небось караси завелись? — замечает арестант с балалайкой.
— Ну, полно вам! Тут о деле идет, а они… Какой же это левизор, братцы? — заботливо замечает один суетливый арестант, Мартынов, старик из военных, бывший гусар.
— Ведь вот врет народ! — замечает один из скептиков. — И откуда что берут и во что кладут? А и все-то вздор.
— Нет, не вздор! — догматически замечает Куликов, до сих пор величаво молчавший. Это парень с весом, лет под пятьдесят, чрезвычайно благообразного лица и с какой-то презрительно-величавой манерой. Он сознает это и этим гордится. Он отчасти цыган, ветеринар, добывает по городу деньги за лечение лошадей, а у нас в остроге торгует вином. Малый он умный и много видывал. Слова роняет, как будто рублем дарит.
— Это взаправду, братцы, — спокойно продолжает он, — я еще на прошлой неделе слышал; едет генерал, из очень важных, будет всю Сибирь ревизовать. Дело знамое, задарят и его, да только не наш восьмиглазый: он и сунуться к нему не посмеет. Генерал генералу розь, братцы. Всякие бывают. Только я вам говорю, наш майор при всяком случае на теперешнем месте останется. Это верно. Мы народ без языка, а из начальства свои на своего же доносить не станут. Ревизор поглядит в острог, да с тем и уедет, и донесет, что все хорошо нашел…
— То-то, братцы, а майор-то струсил: ведь с утра пьян.
— А вечером другую фуру везет. Федька сказывал.
— Черного кобеля не отмоешь добела. Впервой, что ль, он пьян?
— Нет, это уж что же, если и генерал ничего не сделает! Нет, уж полно ихним дурачествам подражать! — волнуясь, говорят промеж себя арестанты.
Весть о ревизоре мигом разносится по острогу. По двору бродят люди и нетерпеливо передают друг другу известие. Другие нарочно молчат, сохраняя свое хладнокровие, и тем, видимо, стараются придать себе больше важности. Третьи остаются равнодушными. На казарменных крылечках рассаживаются арестанты с балалайками. Иные продолжают болтать. Другие затягивают песни, но вообще все в этот вечер в чрезвычайно возбужденном состоянии.
Часу в десятом у нас всех сосчитывали, загоняли по казармам и запирали на ночь. Ночи были короткие: будили в пятом часу утра, засыпали же все никак не раньше одиннадцати. До тех пор всегда, бывало, идет суетня, разговоры, а иногда, как и зимой, бывают и майданы. Ночью наступает нестерпимый жар и духота. Хоть и обдает ночным холодком из окна с поднятой рамой, но арестанты мечутся на своих нарах всю ночь, словно в бреду. Блохи кишат мириадами. Они водятся у нас и зимою, и в весьма достаточном количестве, но начиная с весны разводятся в таких размерах, о которых я хоть и слыхивал прежде, но, не испытав на деле, не хотел верить. И чем дальше к лету, тем злее и злее они становятся. Правда, к блохам можно привыкнуть, я сам испытал это; но все-таки это тяжело достается. До того, бывало, измучают, что лежишь, наконец, словно в лихорадочном жару, и сам чувствуешь, что не спишь, а только бредишь. Наконец, когда перед самым утром угомонятся наконец и блохи, словно замрут, и когда под утренним холодком как будто действительно сладко заснешь, — раздается вдруг безжалостный треск барабана у острожных ворот и начинается зоря. С проклятием слушаешь, закутываясь в полушубок, громкие, отчетливые звуки, словно считаешь их, а между тем сквозь сон лезет в голову нестерпимая мысль, что так и завтра, и послезавтра, и несколько лет сряду, вплоть до самой свободы. Да когда ж это, думаешь, эта свобода и где она? А между тем надо просыпаться; начинается обыденная ходьба, толкотня… Люди одеваются, спешат на работу. Правда, можно было заснуть с час еще в полдень.
О ревизоре сказали правду. Слухи с каждым днем подтверждались все более и более, и наконец все узнали уже наверно, что едет из Петербурга один важный генерал ревизовать всю Сибирь, что он уж приехал, что он уж в Тобольске. Каждый день новые слухи приходили в острог. Приходили вести и из города: слышно было, что все трусят, хлопочут, хотят товар лицом показать. Толковали, что у высшего начальства готовят приемы, балы, праздники. Арестантов высылали целыми кучами ровнять улицы в крепости, срывать кочки, подкрашивать заборы и столбики, подштукатуривать, подмазывать — одним словом, хотели в один миг все исправить, что надо было лицом показать. Наши понимали очень хорошо это дело и все горячее и задорнее толковали между собою. Фантазия их доходила до колоссальных размеров. Собирались даже показать претензию, когда генерал станет спрашивать о довольстве. А между тем спорили и бранились между собою. Плац-майор был в волнении. Чаще наезжал в острог, чаще кричал, чаще кидался на людей, чаще забирал народ в кордегардию и усиленно смотрел за чистотой и благообразием. В это время, как нарочно, случилась в остроге одна маленькая историйка, которая, впрочем, вовсе не взволновала майора, как бы можно было ожидать, а, напротив, даже доставила ему удовольствие. Один арестант в драке пырнул другого шилом в грудь, почти под самое сердце.
Арестант, совершивший преступление, назывался Ломов; получившего рану звали у нас Гаврилкой; он был из закоренелых бродяг. Не помню, было ли у него другое прозвание; звали его у нас всегда Гаврилкой.
Ломов был из зажиточных т-х крестьян, К-ского уезда. Все Ломовы жили семьею: старик отец, три сына и дядя их, Ломов. Мужики они были богатые. Говорили по всей губернии, что у них было до трехсот тысяч ассигнациями капиталу. Они пахали, выделывали кожи, торговали, но более занимались ростовщичеством, укрывательством бродяг и краденого имущества и прочими художествами. Крестьяне на полуезда были у них в долгах, находились у них в кабале. Мужиками они слыли умными и хитрыми, но наконец зачванились, особенно когда одно очень важное лицо в тамошнем крае стал у них останавливаться по дороге, познакомился с стариком лично и полюбил его за сметливость и оборотливость. Они вдруг вздумали, что на них уж более нет управы, и стали все сильнее и сильнее рисковать в разных беззаконных предприятиях. Все роптали на них; все желали им провалиться сквозь землю; но они задирали нос все выше и выше. Исправники, заседатели стали им уже нипочем. Наконец они свихнулись и погибли, но не за худое, не тайные преступления свои, а за напраслину. У них был верстах в десяти от деревни большой хутор, по-сибирски заимка. Там однажды проживало у них под осень человек шесть разбойников-киргизов, закабаленных с давнего времени. В одну ночь все эти киргизы-работники были перерезаны. Началось дело. Оно продолжалось долго. При деле раскрылось много других нехороших вещей. Ломовы были обвинены в умерщвлении своих работников. Сами они так рассказывали, и весь острог это знал: их заподозрили в том, что они слишком много задолжали работникам, а так как, несмотря на свое большое состояние, были скупы и жадны, то и перерезали киргизов, чтобы не платить им долгу. Во время следствия и суда все состояние их пошло прахом. Старик умер. Дети были разосланы. Один из сыновей и его дядя попали в нашу каторгу на двенадцать лет. И что же? Они были совершенно невинны в смерти киргизов. Тут же в остроге объявился потом Гаврилка, известный плут и бродяга, малый веселый и бойкий, который брал все это дело на себя. Не слыхал я, впрочем, признавался ль он в этом сам, но весь острог был убежден совершенно, что киргизы его рук не миновали. Гаврилка с Ломовым еще бродягой имел дело. Он пришел в острог на короткий срок, как беглый солдат и бродяга. Киргизов он зарезал вместе с тремя другими бродягами; они думали сильно поживиться и пограбить в заимке.
Ломовых у нас не любили, не знаю за что. Один из них, племянник, был молодец, умный малый и уживчивого характера; но дядя его, пырнувший Гаврилку шилом, был глупый и вздорный мужик. Он со многими еще допрежь того ссорился, и его порядочно бивали. Гаврилку все любили за веселый и складный характер. Хоть Ломовы и знали, что он преступник, и они за его дело пришли, но с ним не ссорились; никогда, впрочем, и не сходились; да и он не обращал на них никакого внимания. И вдруг вышла ссора у него с дядей Ломовым за одну противнейшую девку. Гаврилка стал хвалиться ее благосклонностью; мужик стал ревновать и в один прекрасный полдень пырнул его шилом.
Ломовы хоть и разорились под судом, но жили в остроге богачами. У них, видимо, были деньги. Они держали самовар, пили чай. Наш майор знал об этом и ненавидел обоих Ломовых до последней крайности. Он видимо для всех придирался к ним и вообще добирался до них. Ломовы объясняли это майорским желанием взять с них взятку. Но взятки они не давали.
Конечно, если б Ломов хоть немного дальше просунул шило, он убил бы Гаврилку. Но дело кончилось решительно только одной царапиной. Доложили майору. Я помню, как он прискакал, запыхавшись и, видимо, довольный. Он удивительно ласково, точно с родным сыном, обошелся с Гаврилкой.
— Что, дружок, можешь в госпиталь так дойти али нет? Нет, уж лучше ему лошадь запречь. Запречь сейчас лошадь! — закричал он впопыхах унтер-офицеру.
— Да я, ваше высокоблагородие, ничего не чувствую. Он только слегка поколол, ваше высокоблагородие.
— Ты не знаешь, ты не знаешь, мой милый; вот увидишь… Место опасное; все от места зависит; под самое сердце угодил, разбойник! А тебя, тебя, — заревел он, обращаясь к Ломову, — ну, теперь я до тебя доберусь!.. В кордегардию!
И действительно добрался. Ломова судили, и хоть рана оказалась самым легким поколом, но намерение было очевидное. Преступнику набавили рабочего сроку и провели сквозь тысячу. Майор был совершенно доволен…
Наконец прибыл и ревизор.
На второй же день по прибытии в город он приехал и к нам в острог. Дело было в праздник. Еще за несколько дней у нас было все вымыто, выглажено, вылизано. Арестанты выбриты заново. Платье на них было белое, чистое. Летом все ходили, по положению, в полотняных белых куртках и панталонах. На спине у каждого был вшит черный круг, вершка два в диаметре. Целый час учили арестантов, как отвечать, если на случай высокое лицо поздоровается. Производились репетиции. Майор суетился как угорелый. За час до появления генерала все стояли по своим местам как истуканы и держали руки по швам. Наконец в час пополудни генерал приехал. Это был важный генерал, такой важный, что, кажется, все начальственные сердца должны были дрогнуть по всей Западной Сибири с его прибытием. Он вошел сурово и величаво; за ним ввалилась большая свита сопровождавшего его местного начальства; несколько генералов, полковников. Был один штатский, высокий и красивый господин во фраке и башмаках, приехавший тоже из Петербурга и державший себя чрезвычайно непринужденно и независимо. Генерал часто обращался к нему, и весьма вежливо. Это необыкновенно заинтересовало арестантов: штатский, а такой почет, и еще от такого генерала! Впоследствии узнали его фамилию и кто он такой, но толков было множество. Наш майор, затянутый, с оранжевым воротником, с налитыми кровью глазами, с багровым угреватым лицом, кажется, не произвел на генерала особенно приятного впечатления. Из особенного уважения к высокому посетителю он был без очков. Он стоял поодаль, вытянутый в струнку, и всем существом своим лихорадочно выжидал мгновения на что-нибудь понадобиться, чтоб лететь исполнять желания его превосходительства. Но он ни на что не понадобился. Молча обошел генерал казармы, заглянул на кухню, кажется, попробовал щей. Ему указали меня: так и так, дескать, из дворян.
— А! — отвечал генерал. — А как он теперь ведет себя?
— Покамест удовлетворительно, ваше превосходительство, — отвечали ему.
Генерал кивнул головою и минуты через две вышел из острога. Арестанты, конечно, были ослеплены и озадачены, но все-таки остались в некотором недоумении. Ни о какой претензии на майора, разумеется, не могло быть и речи. Да и майор был совершенно в этом уверен еще заранее.

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VI. Каторжные животные

Покупка Гнедка, случившаяся вскоре в остроге, заняла и развлекла арестантов гораздо приятнее высокого посещения. В остроге у нас полагалась лошадь для привоза воды, для вывоза нечистот и проч. Для ухода определялся к ней арестант. Он же с ней и ездил, разумеется под конвоем. Работы нашему коню было очень достаточно и утром и вечером. Гнедко служил у нас уже очень давно. Лошадка была добрая, но поизносившаяся. В одно прекрасное утро, перед самым Петровым днем, Гнедко, привезя вечернюю бочку, упал и издох в несколько минут. О нем пожалели, все собрались кругом, толковали, спорили. Бывшие у нас отставные кавалеристы, цыганы, ветеринары и проч. выказали при этом даже много особенных познаний по лошадиной части, даже поругались между собою, но Гнедка не воскресили. Он лежал мертвый, со вздутым брюхом, в которое все считали обязанностью потыкать пальцем; доложили майору о приключившейся воле божией, и он решил, чтоб немедленно была куплена новая лошадь. В самый Петров день, поутру, после обедни, когда все у нас были в полном сборе, стали приводить продажных лошадей. Само собою разумеется, что препоручить покупку следовало самим арестантам. У нас были настоящие знатоки, и надуть двести пятьдесят человек, только этим прежде и занимавшихся, было трудно. Являлись киргизы, барышники, цыгане, мещане. Арестанты с нетерпением ждали появления каждого нового коня. Они были веселы, как дети. Всего более им льстило, что вот и они, точно вольные, точно действительно из своего кармана покупают себе лошадь и имеют полное право купить. Три коня было приведено и уведено, пока покончили дело на четвертом. Входившие барышники с некоторым изумлением и как бы с робостью осматривались кругом и даже изредка оглядывались на конвойных, вводивших их. Двухсотенная ватага такого народу, бритая, проклейменная, в цепях и у себя дома, в своем каторжном гнезде, за порог которого никто не переступает, внушала к себе своего рода уважение. Наши же истощались в разных хитростях при испытании каждого приводимого коня. Куда-куда они ему ни заглядывали, чего у него ни ощупали и вдобавок с таким деловым, с таким серьезным и хлопотливым видом, как будто от этого зависело главное благосостояние острога. Черкесы так даже вскакивали на лошадь верхом; у них глаза разгорались, и бегло болтали они на своем непонятном наречии, скаля свои белые зубы и кивая своими смуглыми горбоносыми лицами. Иной из русских так и прикуется всем вниманием к их спору, точно в глаза к ним вскочить хочет. Слов-то не понимает, так хочет хоть по выражению глаз догадаться, как решили: годится ли конь или нет? И даже странным показалось бы такое судорожное внимание иному постороннему наблюдателю. О чем бы, кажется, тут так особенно хлопотать иному арестанту, и арестанту-то какому-нибудь так себе, смиренному, забитому, который даже перед иным из своих же арестантов пикнуть не смеет! Точно он сам для себя покупал лошадь, точно и в самом деле для него не все равно было, какая ни купится. Кроме черкесов, наиболее отличались бывшие цыгане и барышники: им уступали и первое место и первое слово. Тут даже произошел некоторого рода благородный поединок, особенно между двумя — арестантом Куликовым, прежним цыганом, конокрадом и барышником, и самоучкой-ветеринаром, хитрым сибирским мужичком, недавно пришедшим в острог и уже успевшим отбить у Куликова всю его городскую практику. Дело в том, что наших острожных самоучек-ветеринаров весьма ценили во всем городе, и не только мещане или купцы, но даже самые высшие чины обращались в острог, когда у них заболевали лошади, несмотря на бывших в городе нескольких настоящих ветеринарных врачей. Куликов до прибытия Елкина, сибирского мужичка, не знал себе соперника, имел большую практику и, разумеется, получал денежную благодарность. Он сильно цыганил и шарлатанил и знал гораздо менее, чем выказывал. По доходам он был аристократ между нашими. По бывалости, по уму, по смелости и решимости он уже давно внушал к себе невольное уважение всем арестантам в остроге. Его у нас слушали и слушались. Но говорил он мало: говорил, как рублем дарил, и все только в самых важных случаях. Был он решительный фат, но было в нем много действительной, неподдельной энергии. Он был уже в летах, но очень красив, очень умен. С нами, дворянами, обходился как-то утонченно вежливо и вместе с тем с необыкновенным достоинством. Я думаю, если б нарядить его и привезть под видом какого-нибудь графа в какой-нибудь столичный клуб, то он бы и тут нашелся, сыграл бы в вист, отлично бы поговорил, немного, но с весом, и в целый вечер, может быть, не раскусили бы, что он не граф, а бродяга. Я говорю серьезно: так он был умен, сметлив и быстр на соображение. К тому же манеры его были прекрасные, щегольские. Должно быть, он видал в своей жизни виды. Впрочем, прошедшее его было покрыто мраком неизвестности. Жил он у нас в особом отделении. Но с прибытием Елкина, хоть и мужика, но зато хитрейшего мужика, лет пятидесяти, из раскольников, ветеринарная слава Куликова затмилась. В какие-нибудь два месяца он отбил у него почти всю его городскую практику. Он вылечивал, и очень легко, таких лошадей, от которых Куликов еще прежде давно отказался. Он даже вылечивал таких, от которых отказывались городские ветеринарные лекаря. Этот мужичок пришел вместе с другими за фальщивую монету. Надо было ему ввязаться, на старости лет, в такое дело компаньоном! Сам же он, смеясь над собой, рассказывал у нас, что из трех настоящих золотых у них вышел всего только один фальшивый. Куликов был несколько оскорблен его ветеринарными успехами, даже слава его между арестантами начала было меркнуть. Он держал любовницу в форштадте, ходил в плисовой поддевке, носил серебряное кольцо, серьгу и собственные сапоги с оторочкой, и вдруг, за неимением доходов, он принужден был сделаться целовальником, и потому все ждали, что теперь при покупке Гнедка враги, чего доброго, пожалуй, еще подерутся. Ждали с любопытством. У каждого из них была своя партия. Передовые из обеих партий уже начинали волноваться и помаленьку уже перекидывались ругательствами. Сам Елкин уже съежил было свое хитрое лицо в самую саркастическую улыбку. Но оказалось не то: Куликов и не подумал ругаться, но и без ругани поступил мастерски. Он начал с уступки, даже с уважением выслушал критические мнения своего соперника, но, поймав его на одном слове, скромно и настойчиво заметил ему, что он ошибается, и, прежде чем Елкин успел опомниться и оговориться, доказал, что ошибается он вот именно в том-то и в том-то. Одним словом, Елкин был сбит чрезвычайно неожиданно и искусно, и хоть верх все-таки остался за ним, но и куликовская партия осталась довольна.
— Нет, ребята, его, знать, не скоро собьешь, за себя постоит; куды! — говорили одни.
— Елкин больше знает! — замечали другие, но как-то уступчиво замечали. Обе партии заговорили вдруг в чрезвычайно уступчивом тоне.
— Не то что знает, у него только рука полегче. А насчет скотины и Куликов не сробеет.
— Не сробеет парень!
— Не сробеет…
Нового Гнедка наконец выбрали и купили. Это была славная лошадка, молоденькая, красивая, крепкая и с чрезвычайно милым, веселым видом. Уж разумеется, по всем другим статьям она оказалась безукоризненною. Стали торговаться: просили тридцать рублей, наши давали двадцать пять. Торговались горячо и долго, сбавляли и уступали. Наконец самим смешно стало.
— Что ты из своего кошеля, что ли, деньги брать будешь? — говорили одни. — Чего торговаться-то?
— Казну, что ль, жалеть? — кричали другие.
— Да все же, братцы, все же это деньги, — артельные…
— Артельные! Нет, видно, нашего брата, дураков, не сеют, а мы сами родимся…
Наконец за двадцать восемь рублей торг состоялся. Доложили майору, и покупка была решена. Разумеется, тотчас же вынесли хлеба с солью и с честию ввели нового Гнедка в острог. Кажется, не было арестанта, который при этом случае не потрепал его по шее или не погладил по морде. В этот же день запрягли Гнедка возить воду, и все с любопытством посмотрели, как новый Гнедко повезет свою бочку. Наш водовоз Роман поглядывал на нового конька с необыкновенным самодовольствием. Это был мужик лет пятидесяти, молчаливого и солидного характера. Да и все русские кучера бывают чрезвычайно солидного и даже молчаливого характера, как будто действительно верно, что постоянное обращение с лошадьми придает человеку какую-то особенную солидность и даже важность. Роман был тих, со всеми ласков, несловоохотен, нюхал из рожка табак и постоянно с незапамятных времен возился с острожными Гнедками. Новокупленный был уже третий. У нас были все уверены, что к острогу идет гнедая масть, что нам это будто бы к дому. Так подтверждал и Роман. Пегого, например, ни за что не купили бы. Место водовоза постоянно, по какому-то праву, оставалось навсегда за Романом, и у нас никто никогда и не вздумал бы оспаривать у него это право. Когда пал прежний Гнедко, никому и в голову не пришло, даже и майору, обвинить в чем-нибудь Романа: воля божия, да и только, а Роман хороший кучер. Скоро Гнедко сделался любимцем острога. Арестанты хоть и суровый народ, но подходили часто ласкать его. Бывало, Роман, воротясь с реки, запирает ворота, отворенные ему унтер-офицером, а Гнедко, войдя в острог, стоит с бочкой и ждет его, косит на него глазами. «Пошел один!» — крикнет ему Роман, и Гнедко тотчас же повезет один, довезет до кухни и остановится, ожидая стряпок и парашников с ведрами, чтоб брать воду. «Умник, Гнедко! — кричат ему, — один привез!.. Слушается».
— Ишь в самом деле: скотина, а понимает!
— Молодец, Гнедко!
Гнедко мотает головою и фыркает, точно он и в самом деле понимает и доволен похвалами. И кто-нибудь непременно тут же вынесет ему хлеба с солью. Гнедко ест и опять закивает головою, точно проговоривает: «Знаю я тебя, знаю! И я милая лошадка, и ты хороший человек! »
Я тоже любил подносить Гнедку хлеба. Как-то приятно было смотреть в его красивую морду и чувствовать на ладони его мягкие, теплые губы, проворно подбиравшие подачку.
Вообще наши арестантики могли бы любить животных, и если б им это позволили, они с охотою развели бы в остроге множество домашней скотины и птицы. И, кажется, что бы больше могло смягчить, облагородить суровый и зверский характер арестантов, как не такое, например, занятие? Но этого не позволяли. Ни порядки наши, ни место этого не допускали.
В остроге во все время перебывало, однако же, случайно несколько животных. Кроме Гнедка, были у нас собаки, гуси, козел Васька, да жил еще некоторое время орел.
В качестве постоянной острожной собаки жил у нас, как уже и сказано было мною прежде, Шарик, умная и добрая собака, с которой я был в постоянной дружбе. Но так как уж собака вообще у всего простонародья считается животным нечистым, на которое и внимания не следует обращать, то и на Шарика у нас почти никто не обращал внимания. Жила себе собака, спала на дворе, ела кухонные выброски и никакого особенного интереса ни в ком не возбуждала, однако всех знала и всех в остроге считала своими хозяевами. Когда арестанты возвращались с работы, она уже по крику у кордегардии: «Ефрейтора!» — бежит к воротам, ласково встречает каждую партию, вертит хвостом и приветливо засматривает в глаза каждому вошедшему, ожидая хоть какой-нибудь ласки. Но в продолжение многих лет она не добилась никакой ласки ни от кого, кроме разве меня. За это-то она и любила меня более всех. Не помню, каким образом появилась у нас потом в остроге и другая собака, Белка. Третью же, Культяпку, я сам завел, принеся ее как-то с работы, еще щенком. Белка была странное создание. Ее кто-то переехал телегой, и спина ее была вогнута внутрь, так что когда она, бывало, бежит, то казалось издали, что бегут двое каких-то белых животных, сращенных между собою. Кроме того, вся она была какая-то паршивая, с гноящимися глазами; хвост был облезший, почти весь без шерсти, и постоянно поджатый. Оскорбленная судьбою, она, видимо, решилась смириться. Никогда-то она ни на кого не лаяла и не ворчала, точно не смела. Жила она больше, из хлеба, за казармами; если же увидит, бывало, кого-нибудь из наших, то тотчас же еще за несколько шагов, в знак смирения, перекувырнется на спину: «Делай, дескать, со мной что тебе угодно, а я, видишь, и не думаю сопротивляться». И каждый арестант, перед которым она перекувырнется, пырнет ее, бывало, сапогом, точно считая это непременною своею обязанностью. «Вишь, подлая!» — говорят, бывало, арестанты. Но Белка даже и визжать не смела, и если уж слишком пронимало ее от боли, то как-то заглушенно и жалобно выла. Точно так же она перекувыркивалась и перед Шариком и перед всякой другой собакой, когда выбегала по своим делам за острог. Бывало, перекувыркнется и лежит смиренно, когда какой-нибудь большой вислоухий пес бросится на нее с рыком и лаем. Но собаки любят смирение и покорность в себе подобных. Свирепый пес немедленно укрощался, с некоторою задумчивостью останавливался над лежащей перед ним вверх ногами покорной собакой и медленно с большим любопытством начинал ее обнюхивать во всех частях тела. Что-то в это время могла думать вся трепетавшая Белка? «А ну как, разбойник, рванет?» — вероятно, приходило ей в голову. Но, обнюхав внимательно, пес наконец бросал ее, не находя в ней ничего особенно любопытного. Белка тотчас же вскакивала и опять, бывало, пускалась, ковыляя, за длинной вереницей собак, провожавших какую-нибудь Жучку. И хоть она наверно знала, что с Жучкой ей никогда коротко не познакомиться, а все-таки хоть издали поковылять — и то было для ней утешением в ее несчастьях. Об чести она уже, видимо, перестала думать. Потеряв всякую карьеру в будущем, она жила только для одного хлеба и вполне сознавала это. Я попробовал раз ее приласкать; это было для нее так ново и неожиданно, что она вдруг вся осела к земле, на все четыре лапы, вся затрепетала и начала громко визжать от умиления. Из жалости я ласкал ее часто. Зато она встречать меня не могла без визгу. Завидит издали и визжит, визжит болезненно и слезливо. Кончилось тем, что ее за острогом на валу разорвали собаки.
Совсем другого характера был Культяпка. Зачем я его принес из мастерской в острог еще слепым щенком, не знаю. Мне приятно было кормить и растить его. Шарик тотчас же принял Культяпку под свое покровительство и спал с ним вместе. Когда Культяпка стал подрастать, то он позволял ему кусать свои уши, рвать себя за шерсть и играть с ним, как обыкновенно играют взрослые собаки со щенками. Странно, что Культяпка почти не рос в вышину, а все в длину и ширину. Шерсть была на нем лохматая, какого-то светло-мышиного цветы; одно ухо росло вниз, а другое вверх. Характера он был пылкого и восторженного, как и всякий щенок, который от радости, что видит хозяина, обыкновенно навизжит, накричит, полезет лизать в самое лицо и тут же перед вами готов не удержать и всех остальных чувств своих: «Был бы только виден восторг, а приличия ничего не значат!» Бывало, где бы я ни был, но по крику: «Культяпка!» — он вдруг являлся из-за какого-нибудь угла, как из-под земли, и с визгливым восторгом летел ко мне, катясь, как шарик, и перекувыркиваясь дорогою. Я ужасно полюбил этого маленького уродца. Казалось, судьба готовила ему в жизни довольство и одни только радости. Но в один прекрасный день арестант Неустроев, занимавшийся шитьем женских башмаков и выделкой кож, обратил на него особенное внимание. Его вдруг что-то поразило. Он подозвал Культяпку к себе, пощупал его шерсть и ласково повалял его спиной по земле. Культяпка, ничего не подозревавший, визжал от удовольствия. Но на другое же утро он исчез. Я долго искал его; точно в воду канул; и только через две недели все объяснилось: Культяпкин мех чрезвычайно понравился Неустроеву. Он содрал его, выделал и подложил им бархатные зимние полусапожки, которые заказала ему аудиторша. Он показывал мне и полусапожки, когда они были готовы. Шерсть вышла удивительная. Бедный Культяпка!
В остроге у нас многие занимались выделкой кож и часто, бывало, приводили с собой собак с хорошей шерстью, которые в тот же миг исчезали. Иных воровали, а иных даже и покупали. Помню, раз за кухнями я увидал двух арестантов. Они об чем-то совещались и хлопотали. Один из них держал на веревке великолепнейшую большую собаку, очевидно дорогой породы. Какой-то негодяй лакей увел ее от своего барина и продал нашим башмачникам за тридцать копеек серебром. Арестанты собирались ее повесить. Это очень удобно делалось: кожу сдирали, а труп бросали в большую и глубокую помойную яму, находившуюся в самом заднем углу нашего острога и которая летом, в сильные жары, ужасно воняла. Ее изредка вычищали. Бедная собака, казалось, понимала готовившуюся ей участь. Она пытливо и с беспокойством взглядывала поочередно на нас троих и изредка только осмеливалась повертеть своим пушистым прижатым хвостом, точно желая смягчить нас этим знаком своей к нам доверенности. Я поскорей ушел, а они, разумеется, кончили свое дело благополучно.
Гуси у нас завелись как-то тоже случайно. Кто их развел и кому они собственно принадлежали, не знаю, но некоторое время они очень тешили арестантов и даже стали известны в городе. Они и вывелись в остроге и содержались на кухне. Когда выводок подрос, то все они, целым кагалом, повадились ходить вместе с арестантами на работу. Только, бывало, загремит барабан и двинется каторга к выходу, наши гуси с криком бегут за нами, распустив свои крылья, один за другим выскакивают через высокий порог из калитки и непременно отправляются на правый фланг, где и выстраиваются, ожидая окончания разводки. Примыкали они всегда к самой большой партии и на работах паслись где-нибудь неподалеку. Только что двигалась партия с работы обратно в острог, подымались и они. В крепости разнеслись слухи, что гуси ходят с арестантами на работу. «Ишь, арестанты с своими гусями идут! — говорят, бывало, встречающиеся. — Да как это вы их обучили!» — «Вот вам на гусей! » — прибавлял другой и подавал подаяние. Но, несмотря на всю их преданность, к какому-то разговенью их всех перерезали.
Зато нашего козла Ваську ни за что бы не зарезали, если б не случилось особенного обстоятельства. Тоже не знаю, откуда он у нас взялся и кто принес его, но вдруг очутился в остроге маленький, беленький, прехорошенький козленок. В несколько дней все его у нас полюбили, и он сделался общим развлечением и даже отрадою. Нашли и причину держать его: надо же было в остроге, при конюшне, держать козла. Однако ж он жил не в конюшне, а сначала в кухне, а потом по всему острогу. Это было преграциозное и прешаловливое создание. Он бежал на кличку, вскакивал на скамейки, на столы, бодался с арестантами, был всегда весел и забавен. Раз, когда уже у него прорезывались порядочные рожки, однажды вечером лезгин Бабай, сидя на казарменном крылечке в толпе других арестантов, вздумал с ним бодаться. Они уже долго стукались лбами, — это была любимая забава арестантов с козлом, — как вдруг Васька вспрыгнул на самую верхнюю ступеньку крыльца и, только что Бабай отворотился в сторону, мигом поднялся на дыбки, прижал к себе передние копытцы и со всего размаха ударил Бабая в затылок, так что тот слетел кувырком с крыльца к восторгу всех присутствующих и первого Бабая. Одним словом, Ваську все ужасно любили. Когда он стал подрастать, над ним, вследствие общего и серьезного совещания, произведена была известная операция, которую наши ветеринары отлично умели делать. «Не то пахнуть козлом будет», — говорили арестанты. После того Васька стал ужасно жиреть. Да и кормили его точно на убой. Наконец вырос прекрасный большой козел, с длиннейшими рогами и необыкновенной толщины. Бывало, идет и переваливается. Он тоже повадился ходить с нами на работу для увеселения арестантов и встречавшейся публики. Все знали острожного козла Ваську. Иногда, если работали, например, на берегу, арестанты нарвут, бывало, гибких талиновых веток, достанут еще каких-нибудь листьев, наберут на валу цветов и уберут всем этим Ваську: рога оплетут ветвями и цветами, по всему туловищу пустят гирлянды. Возвращается, бывало, Васька в острог всегда впереди арестантов, разубранный и разукрашенный, а они идут за ним и точно гордятся перед прохожими. До того зашло это любованье козлом, что иным из них приходила даже в голову, словно детям, мысль: «Не вызолотить ли рога Ваське!» Но только так говорили, а не исполняли. Я, впрочем, помню, спросил Акима Акимыча, лучшего нашего золотильщика после Исая Фомича: можно ли действительно вызолотить козлу рога? Он сначала внимательно посмотрел на козла, серьезно сообразил и отвечал, что, пожалуй, можно, «но будет непрочно-с и к тому же совершенно бесполезно». Тем дело и кончилось. И долго бы прожил Васька в остроге и умер бы разве от одышки, но однажды, возвращаясь во главе арестантов с работы, разубранный и разукрашенный, он попался навстречу майору, ехавшему на дрожках. «Стой! — закричал он. — Чей козел?» Ему объяснили. «Как! в остроге козел, и без моего позволения! Унтер-офицера!» Явился унтер-офицер, и тотчас же было повелено немедленно зарезать козла. Шкуру содрать, продать на базаре и вырученные деньги включить в казенную арестантскую сумму, а мясо отдать арестантам во щи. В остроге поговорили, пожалели, но, однако ж, не посмели ослушаться. Ваську зарезали над нашей помойной ямой. Мясо купил один из арестантов все целиком, внеся острогу полтора целковых. На эти деньги купили калачей, а купивший Ваську распродал по частям, своим же, на жаркое. Мясо оказалось действительно необыкновенно вкусным.
Проживал у нас тоже некоторое время в остроге орел (карагуш), из породы степных небольших орлов. Кто-то принес его в острог раненого и измученного. Вся каторга обступила его; он не мог летать: правое крыло его висело по земле, одна нога была вывихнута. Помню, как он яростно оглядывался кругом, осматривая любопытную толпу, и разевал свой горбатый клюв, готовясь дорого продать свою жизнь. Когда на него насмотрелись и стали расходиться, он отковылял, хромая, прискакивая на одной ноге и помахивая здоровым крылом, в самый дальний конец острога, где забился в угол, плотно прижавшись к палям. Тут он прожил у нас месяца три и во все время ни разу не вышел из своего угла. Сначала приходили часто глядеть на него, натравливали на него собаку. Шарик кидался на него с яростию, но, видимо, боялся подступить ближе, что очень потешало арестантов. «Зверь! — говорили они. — Не дается!» Потом и Шарик стал больно обижать его; страх прошел, и он, когда натравливали, изловчился хватать его за больное крыло. Орел защищался из всех сил когтями и клювом и гордо и дико, как раненый король, забившись в свой угол, оглядывал любопытных, приходивших его рассматривать. Наконец всем он наскучил; все его бросили и забыли, и, однако ж, каждый день можно было видеть возле него клочки свежего мяса и черепок с водой. Кто-нибудь да наблюдал же его. Он сначала и есть не хотел, не ел несколько дней; наконец стал принимать пищу, но никогда из рук или при людях. Мне случалось не раз издали наблюдать его. Не видя никого и думая, что он один, он иногда решался недалеко выходить из угла и ковылял вдоль паль, шагов на двенадцать от своего места, потом возвращался назад, потом опять выходил, точно делал моцион. Завидя меня, он тотчас же изо всех сил, хромая и прискакивая, спешил на свое место и, откинув назад голову, разинув клюв, ощетинившись, тотчас же приготовлялся к бою. Никакими ласками я не мог смягчить его: он кусался и бился, говядины от меня не брал и все время, бывало, как я над ним стою, пристально-пристально смотрит мне в глаза своим злым, пронзительным взглядом. Одиноко и злобно он ожидал смерти, не доверяя никому и не примиряясь ни с кем. Наконец арестанты точно вспомнили о нем, и хоть никто не заботился, никто и не поминал о нем месяца два, но вдруг во всех точно явилось к нему сочувствие. Заговорили, что надо вынести орла. «Пусть хоть околеет, да не в остроге», — говорили они.
— Вестимо, птица вольная, суровая, не приучишь к острогу-то, — поддакивали другие.
— Знать, он не так, как мы, — прибавил кто-то.
— Вишь, сморозил: то птица, а мы, значит, человеки.
— Орел, братцы, есть царь лесов… — начал было Скуратов, но его на этот раз не стали слушать. Раз после обеда, когда пробил барабан на работу, взяли орла, зажав ему клюв рукой, потому что он начал жестоко драться, и понесли из острога. Дошли до вала. Человек двенадцать, бывших в этой партии, с любопытством желали видеть, куда пойдет орел. Странное дело: все были чем-то довольны, точно отчасти сами они получили свободу.
— Ишь, собачье мясо: добро ему творишь, а он все кусается! — говорил державший его, почти с любовью смотря на злую птицу.
— Отпущай его, Микитка!
— Ему, знать, черта в чемодане не строй. Ему волю подавай, заправскую волю-волюшку.
Орла сбросили с валу в степь. Это было глубокою осенью, в холодный и сумрачный день. Ветер свистал в голой степи и шумел в пожелтелой, иссохшей, клочковатой степной траве. Орел пустился прямо, махая больным крылом и как бы торопясь уходить от нас куда глаза глядят. Арестанты с любопытством следили, как мелькала в траве его голова.
— Вишь его! — задумчиво проговорил один.
— И не оглянется! — прибавил другой. — Ни разу-то, братцы, не оглянулся, бежит себе!
— А ты думал, благодарить воротится? — заметил третий.
— Знамо дело, воля. Волю почуял.
— Слобода, значит.
— И не видать уж, братцы…
— Чего стоять-то? марш! — закричали конвойные, и все молча поплелись на работу.

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VII. Претензия

Начиная эту главу, издатель записок покойного Александра Петровича Горянчикова считает своею обязанностью сделать читателям следующее сообщение.
В первой главе «Записок из Мертвого дома» сказано несколько слов об одном отцеубийце, из дворян. Между прочим, он поставлен был в пример того, с какой бесчувственностью говорят иногда арестанты о совершенных ими преступлениях. Сказано было тоже, что убийца не сознался перед судом в своем преступлении, но что, судя по рассказам людей, знавших все подробности его истории, факты были до того ясны, что невозможно было не верить преступлению. Эти же люди рассказывали автору «Записок», что преступник поведения был совершенно беспутного, ввязался в долги и убил своего отца, жаждая после него наследства. Впрочем, весь город, в котором прежде служил этот отцеубийца, рассказывал эту историю одинаково. Об этом последнем факте издатель «Записок» имеет довольно верные сведения. Наконец, в «Записках» сказано, что в остроге убийца был постоянно в превосходнейшем, в веселейшем расположении духа; что это был взбалмошный, легкомысленный, нерассудительный в высшей степени человек, хотя отнюдь не глупец, и что автор «Записок» никогда не замечал в нем какой-нибудь особенной жестокости. И тут же прибавлены слова: «Разумеется, я не верил этому преступлению».
На днях издатель «Записок из Мертвого дома» получил уведомление из Сибири, что преступник был действительно прав и десять лет страдал в каторжной работе напрасно; что невинность его обнаружена по суду, официально. Что настоящие преступники нашлись и сознались и что несчастный уже освобожден из острога. Издатель никак не может сомневаться в достоверности этого известия…
Прибавлять больше нечего. Нечего говорить и распространяться о всей глубине трагического в этом факте, о загубленной еще смолоду жизни под таким ужасным обвинением. Факт слишком понятен, слишком поразителен сам по себе.
Мы думаем тоже, что если такой факт оказался возможным, то уже самая эта возможность прибавляет еще новую и чрезвычайно яркую черту к характеристике и полноте картины Мертвого дома.
А теперь продолжаем.
 
Я уже говорил прежде, что я наконец освоился с моим положением в остроге. Но это «наконец» совершалось очень туго и мучительно, слишком мало-помалу. В сущности мне надо было почти год времени для этого, и это был самый трудный год моей жизни. Оттого-то он так весь целиком и умножился в моей памяти. Мне кажется, я каждый час этого года помню в последовательности. Говорил я тоже, что привыкнуть к этой жизни не могли и другие арестанты. Помню, как в этот первый год я часто размышлял про себя: «Что они, как? неужели могли привыкнуть? неужели спокойны?» И вопросы эти очень меня занимали. Я уже упоминал, что все арестанты жили здесь как бы не у себя дома, а как будто на постоялом дворе, на походе, на этапе каком-то. Люди, присланные на всю жизнь, и те суетились или тосковали, и уж непременно каждый из них про себя мечтал о чем-нибудь почти невозможном. Это всегдашнее беспокойство, выказывавшееся хоть и молча, но видимо; эта странная горячность и нетерпеливость иногда невольно высказанных надежд, подчас до того неосновательных, что они как бы походили на бред, и, что более всего поражало, уживавшихся нередко в самых практических, по-видимому, умах, — все это придавало необыкновенный вид и характер этому месту, до того, что, может быть, эти-то черты и составляли самое характерное его свойство. Как-то чувствовалось, почти с первого взгляда, что этого нет за острогом. Тут все были мечтатели, и это бросалось в глаза. Это чувствовалось болезненно, именно потому, что мечтательность сообщала большинству острога вид угрюмый и мрачный, нездоровый какой-то вид. Огромное большинство было молчаливо и злобно до ненависти, не любило выставлять своих надежд напоказ. Простодушие, откровенность были в презрении. Чем несбыточнее были надежды и чем больше чувствовал эту несбыточность сам мечтатель, тем упорнее и целомудреннее он их таил про себя, но отказаться от них он не мог. Кто знает, может быть, иной стыдился их про себя. В русском характере столько положительности и трезвости взгляда, столько внутренней насмешки над первым собою… Может быть, от этого постоянного затаенного недовольства собою и было столько нетерпеливости у этих людей в повседневных отношениях друг с другом, столько непримиримости и насмешки друг над другом. И если, например, выскакивал вдруг, из них же, какой-нибудь понаивнее и нетерпеливее и высказывал иной раз вслух то, что у всех было про себя на уме, пускался в мечты и надежды, то его тотчас же грубо осаживали, обрывали, осмеивали; но сдается мне, что самые рьяные из преследователей были именно те, которые, может быть, сами-то еще дальше него пошли в своих мечтах и надеждах. На наивных и простоватых, я сказал уже, смотрели у нас все вообще как на самых пошлых дураков и относились к ним презрительно. Каждый был до того угрюм и самолюбив, что начинал презирать человека доброго и без самолюбия. Кроме этих наивных и простоватых болтунов, все остальные, то есть молчаливые, резко разделялись на добрых и злых, на угрюмых и светлых. Угрюмых и злых было несравненно больше; если ж из них и случались иные уж так по природе своей говоруны, то все они непременно были беспокойные сплетники и тревожные завистники. До всего чужого им было дело, хотя своей собственной души, своих собственных тайных дел и они никому не выдавали напоказ. Это было не в моде, не принято. Добрые — очень маленькая кучка — были тихи, молчаливо таили про себя свои упования и, разумеется, более мрачных склонны были к надежде и вере в них. Впрочем, сдается мне, что в остроге был еще отдел вполне отчаявшихся. Таков был, например, и старик из Стародубских слобод; во всяком случае таких было очень мало. Старик был с виду спокоен (я уже говорил о нем), но по некоторым признакам, я полагаю, душевное состояние его было ужасное. Впрочем, у него было свое спасение, свой выход: молитва и идея о мученичестве. Сошедший с ума, зачитавшийся в Библии арестант, о котором я уже упоминал и который бросился с кирпичом на майора, вероятно, тоже был из отчаявшихся, из тех, кого покинула последняя надежда; а так как совершенно без надежда жить невозможно, то он и выдумал себе исход в добровольном, почти искусственном мученичестве. Он объявил, что он бросился на майора без злобы, а единственно желая принять муки. И кто знает, какой психологический процесс совершился тогда в душе его! Без какой-нибудь цели и стремления к ней не живет ни один жив человек. Потеряв цель и надежду, человек с тоски обращается нередко в чудовище… Цель у всех наших была свобода и выход из каторги.
Впрочем, вот я и теперь силюсь подвести весь наш острог под разряды; но возможно ли это? Действительность бесконечно разнообразна сравнительно со всеми, даже и самыми хитрейшими, выводами отвлеченной мысли и не терпит резких и крупных различений. Действительность стремится к раздроблению. Жизнь своя особенная была и у нас, хоть какая-нибудь, да все же была, и не одна официальная, а внутренняя, своя собственная жизнь.
Но, как уже и упоминая я отчасти, я не мог и даже не умел проникнуть во внутреннюю глубину этой жизни в начале моего острога, а потому все внешние проявления ее мучили меня тогда невыразимой тоской. Я иногда просто начинал ненавидеть этих таких же страдальцев, как я. Я даже завидовал им и обвинял судьбу. Я завидовал им в том, что они все-таки между своими, в товариществе, понимают друг друга, хотя в сущности им всем, как и мне, надоело и омерзело это товарищество из-под плети и палки, эта насильная артель, и всякий про себя смотрел от всех куда-нибудь в сторону. Повторяю опять, эта зависть, посещавшая меня в минуты злобы, имела свое законное основание. В самом деле, положительно не правы те, которые говорят, что дворянину, образованному и т. д. совершенно одинаково тяжело в наших каторгах и острогах, как и всякому мужику. Я знаю, я слышал об этом предположении в последнее время, я читал про это. Основание этой идеи верное, гуманное. Все люди, все человеки. Но идея-то слишком отвлеченная. Упущено из виду очень много практических условий, которые не иначе можно понять, как в самой действительности. Я говорю это не потому, что дворянин и образованный будто бы чувствуют утонченнее, больнее, что они более развиты. Душу и развитие ее трудно подводить под какой-нибудь данный уровень. Даже само образование в этом случае не мерка. Я первый готов свидетельствовать, что и в самой необразованной, в самой придавленной среде между этими страдальцами встречал черты самого утонченного развития душевного. В остроге было иногда так, что знаешь человека несколько лет и думаешь про него, что это зверь, а не человек, презираешь его. И вдруг приходит случайно минута, в которую душа его невольным порывом открывается наружу, и вы видите в ней такое богатство, чувство, сердце, такое яркое пониманье и собственного и чужого страдания, что у вас как бы глаза открываются, и в первую минуту даже не верится тому, что вы сами увидели и услышали. Бывает и обратно: образование уживается иногда с таким варварством, с таким цинизмом, что вам мерзит, и, как бы вы ни были добры или предубеждены, вы не находите в сердце своем ни извинений, ни оправданий.
Не говорю я тоже ничего о перемене привычек, образа жизни, пищи и проч., что для человека из высшего слоя общества, конечно, тяжелее, чем для мужика, который нередко голодал на воле, а в остроге по крайней мере сыто наедался. Не буду и об этом спорить. Положим, что человеку, хоть немного сильному волей, все это вздор сравнительно с другими неудобствами, хотя в сущности перемена привычек дело вовсе не вздорное и не последнее. Но есть неудобства, перед которыми все это бледнеет, до того, что не обращаешь внимания ни на грязь содержания, ни на тиски, ни на тощую, неопрятную пищу. Самый гладенький белоручка, самый нежный неженка, поработав день в поте лица, так, как он никогда не работал на свободе, будет есть и черный хлеб и щи с тараканами. К этому еще можно привыкнуть, как и упомянуто в юмористической арестантской песне о прежнем белоручке, попавшем в каторгу:
Дадут капусту мне с водою —
И ем, так за ушьми трещит.
Нет; важнее всего этого то, что всякий из новоприбывающих в остроге через два часа по прибытии становится таким же, как и все другие, становится у себя дома, таким же равноправным хозяином в острожной артели, как и всякий другой. Он всем понятен, и сам всех понимает, всем знаком, и все считают его за своего. Не то с благородным, с дворянином. Как ни будь он справедлив, добр, умен, его целые годы будут ненавидеть и презирать все, целой массой; его не поймут, а главное — не поверят ему. Он не друг и не товарищ, и хоть и достигнет он наконец, с годами, того, что его обижать не будут, но все-таки он будет не свой и вечно, мучительно будет сознавать свое отчуждение и одиночество. Это отчуждение делается иногда совсем без злобы со стороны арестантов, а так, бессознательно. Не свой человек, да и только. Ничего нет ужаснее, как жить не в своей среде. Мужик, переселенный из Таганрога в Петропавловский порт, тотчас же найдет там такого же точно русского мужика, тотчас же сговорится и сладится с ним, а через два часа они, пожалуй, заживут самым мирным образом в одной избе или в одном шалаше. Не то для благородных. Они разделены с простонародьем глубочайшею бездной, и это замечается вполне только тогда, когда благородный вдруг сам, силою внешних обстоятельств, действительно, на деле лишится прежних прав своих и обратится в простонародье. Не то хоть всю жизнь свою знайтесь с народом, хоть сорок лет сряду каждый день сходитесь с ним, по службе, например, в условно-административных формах, или даже так, просто по-дружески, в виде благодетеля и в некотором смысле отца, — никогда самой сущности не узнает. Все будет только оптический обман, и ничего больше. Я ведь знаю, что все, решительно все, читая мое замечание, скажут, что я преувеличиваю. Но я убежден, что оно верно. Я убедился не книжно, не умозрительно, а в действительности и имел очень довольно времени, чтобы проверить мои убеждения. Может быть, впоследствии все узнают, до какой степени это справедливо…
События, как нарочно, с первого шагу подтверждали мои наблюдения и нервно и болезненно действовали на меня. В это первое лето я скитался по острогу почти один-одинешенек. Я сказал уже, что был в таком состоянии духа, что даже не мог оценить и отличить тех каторжных, которые могли бы любить меня, которые и любили меня впоследствии, хоть и никогда не сходились со мною на равную ногу. Были товарищи и мне, из дворян, но не снимало с души моей всего бремени это товарищество. Не смотрел бы ни на что, кажется, а бежать некуда. И вот, например, один из тех случаев, которые с первого разу наиболее дали мне понять мою отчужденность и особенность моего положения в остроге. Однажды, в это же лето, уже к августу месяцу, в будний ясный и жаркий день, в первом часу пополудни, когда по обыкновению все отдыхали перед послеобеденной работой, вдруг вся каторга поднялась как один человек и начала строиться на острожном дворе. Я ни о чем не знал до самой этой минуты. В это время подчас я до того бывал углублен в самого себя, что почти не замечал, что вокруг происходит. А между тем каторга уже дня три глухо волновалась. Может быть, и гораздо раньше началось это волнение, как сообразил я уже потом, невольно припомнив кое-что из арестантских разговоров, а вместе с тем и усиленную сварливость арестантов, угрюмость и особенно озлобленное состояние, замечавшееся в них в последнее время. Я приписывал это тяжелой работе, скучным, длинным, летним дням, невольным мечтам о лесах и о вольной волюшке, коротким ночам, в которые трудно было вволю выспаться. Может быть, все это и соединилось теперь вместе, в один взрыв, но предлог этого взрыва был — пища. Уже несколько дней в последнее время громко жаловались, негодовали в казармах и особенно сходясь в кухне за обедом и ужином, были недовольны стряпками, даже попробовали сменить одного из них, но тотчас прогнали нового и воротили старого. Одним словом, все были в каком-то беспокойном настроении духа.
— Работа тяжелая, а нас брюшиной кормят, — заворчит, бывало, кто-нибудь на кухне.
— А не нравится, так бламанже закажи, — подхватит другой.
— Щи с брюшиной, братцы, я оченно люблю, — подхватывает третий, — потому скусны.
— А как все время тебя одной брюшиной кормить, будет скусно?
— Оно, конечно, теперя мясная пора, — говорит четвертый, — мы на заводе-то маемся-маемся, после урка-то жрать хочется. А брюшина какая еда!
— А не с брюшиной, так с усердием[1].
— Вот хоть бы еще взять это усердие. Брюшина да усердие, только одно и наладили. Это какая еда! Есть тут правда аль нет?
— Да, корм плохой.
— Карман-то набивает небось.
— Не твоего ума это дело.
— А чьего же? Брюхо-то мое. А всем бы миром сказать претензию, и было бы дело.
— Претензию?
— Да.
— Мало тебя, знать, за ефту претензию драли. Статуй!
— Оно правда, — прибавляет ворчливо другой, до сих пор молчаливый, — хоть и скоро, да не споро. Что говорить-то на претензии будешь, ты вот что сперва скажи, голова с затылком?
— Ну и скажу. Коли б все пошли, и я б тогда со всеми говорил. Бедность, значит. У нас кто свое ест, а кто и на одном казенном сидит.
— Ишь, завидок востроглазый! Разгорелись глаза на чужое добро.
— На чужой кусок не разевай роток, а раньше вставай да свой затевай.
— Затевай!.. Я с тобой до седых волос в ефтом деле торговаться буду. Значит, ты богатый, коли сложа руки сидеть хочешь?
— Богат Ерошка, есть собака да кошка.
— А и вправду, братцы, чего сидеть! Значит, полно ихним дурачествам подражать. Шкуру дерут. Чего нейти?
— Чего! Тебе небось разжуй да в рот положи; привык жеваное есть. Значит, каторга — вот отчего!
— Выходит что: поссорь, боже, народ, накорми воевод.
— Оно самое. Растолстел восьмиглазый. Пару серых купил.
— Ну, и не любит выпить.
— Намеднись с ветеринаром за картами подрались.
— Всю ночь козыряли. Наш-то два часа прожил на кулаках. Федька сказывал.
— Оттого и щи с усердием.
— Эх, вы, дураки! Да не с нашим местом выходить-то.
— А вот выйти всем, так посмотрим, какое он оправдание произнесет. На том и стоять.
— Оправдание! Он тебя по идолам[2], да и был таков.
— Да еще под суд отдадут…
Одним словом, все волновались. В это время действительно у нас была плохая еда. Да уж и все одно к одному привалило. А главное — общий тоскливый настрой, всегдашняя затаенная мука. Каторжный сварлив и подымчив уже по природе своей; но подымаются все вместе или большой кучей редко. Причиной тому всегдашнее разногласие. Это всякий из них сам чувствовал: вот почему и было у нас больше руготни, нежели дела. И, однако ж, в этот раз волнение не прошло даром. Начали собираться по кучкам, толковали по казармам, ругались, припоминали со злобой все управление нашего майора; выведывали всю подноготную. Особенно волновались некоторые. Во всяком подобном деле всегда являются зачинщики, коноводы. Коноводы в этих случаях, то есть в случаях претензий, — вообще презамечательный народ, и не в одном остроге, а во всех артелях, командах и проч. Это особенный тип, повсеместно между собою схожий. Это народ горячий, жаждущий справедливости и самым наивным, самым честным образом уверенный в ее непременной, непреложной и, главное, немедленной возможности. Народ этот не глупее других, даже бывают из них и очень умные, но они слишком горячи, чтоб быть хитрыми и расчетливыми. Во всех этих случаях если и бывают люди, которые умеют ловко направить массу и выиграть дело, то уж эти составляют другой тип народных вожаков и естественных предводителей его, тип чрезвычайно у нас редкий. Но эти, про которых я теперь говорю, зачинщики и коноводы претензий, почти всегда проигрывают дело и населяют за это потом остроги и каторги. Через горячку свою они проигрывают, но через горячку же и влияние имеют на массу. За ними, наконец, охотно идут. Их жар и честное негодование действуют на всех, и под конец самые нерешительные к ним примыкают. Их слепая уверенность в успехе соблазняет даже самых закоренелых скептиков, несмотря на то что иногда эта уверенность имеет такие шаткие, такие младенческие основания, что дивишься вчуже, как это за ними пошли. А главное то, что они идут первые, и идут, ничего не боясь. Они, как быки, бросаются прямо вниз рогами, часто без знания дела, без осторожности, без того практического езуитизма, с которым нередко даже самый подлый и замаранный человек выигрывает дело, достигает цели и выходит сух из воды. Они же непременно ломают рога. В обыкновенной жизни это народ желчный, брюзгливый, раздражительный и нетерпимый. Чаще же всего ужасно ограниченный, что, впрочем, отчасти и составляет их силу. Досаднее же всего в них то, что, вместо прямой цели, они часто бросаются вкось, вместо главного дела — на мелочи. Это-то их и губит. Но они понятны массам; в этом их сила… Впрочем, надо сказать еще два слова о том, что такое значит претензия?
 
В нашем остроге было несколько человек таких, которые пришли за претензию. Они-то и волновались наиболее. Особенно один, Мартынов, служивший прежде в гусарах, горячий, беспокойный и подозрительный человек, впрочем честный и правдивый. Другой был Василий Антонов, человек как-то хладнокровно раздражавшийся, с наглым взглядом, с высокомерной саркастической улыбкой, чрезвычайно развитой, впрочем тоже честный и правдивый. Но всех не переберешь; много их было. Петров, между прочим, так и сновал взад и вперед, прислушивался ко всем кучкам, мало говорил, но, видимо, был в волнении и первый выскочил из казармы, когда начали строиться.
Наш острожный унтер-офицер, исправлявший у нас должность фельдфебеля, тотчас же вышел испуганный. Построившись, люди вежливо попросили его сказать майору, что каторга желает с ним говорить и лично просить его насчет некоторых пунктов. Вслед за унтер-офицером вышли и все инвалиды и построились с другой стороны, напротив каторги. Поручение, данное унтер-офицеру, было чрезвычайное и повергло его в ужас. Но не доложить немедленно майору он не смел. Во-первых, уж если поднялась каторга, то могло выйти и что-нибудь хуже. Все начальство наше насчет каторги было как-то усиленно трусливо. Во-вторых, если б даже и ничего не было, так что все бы тотчас же одумались и разошлись, то и тогда бы унтер-офицер немедленно должен был доложить о всем происходившем начальству. Бледный и дрожащий от страха, отправился он поспешно к майору, даже и не пробуя сам опрашивать и увещевать арестантов. Он видел, что с ним теперь и говорить-то не станут.
Совершенно не зная ничего, и я вышел строиться. Все подробности дела я узнал уже потом. Теперь же я думал, происходит какая-нибудь поверка; но, не видя караульных, которые производят поверку, удивился и стал осматриваться кругом. Лица были взволнованные и раздраженные. Иные были даже бледны. Все вообще были озадачены и молчаливы в ожидании того, как-то придется заговорить перед майором. Я заметил, что многие посмотрели на меня с чрезвычайным удивлением, но молча отворотились. Им было, видимо, странно, что я с ними построился. Они, очевидно, не верили, чтоб и я тоже показывал претензию. Вскоре, однако ж, почти все бывшие кругом меня стали снова обращаться ко мне. Все глядели на меня вопросительно.
— Ты здесь зачем? — грубо и громко спросил меня Василий Антонов, стоявший от меня подальше других и до сих пор всегда говоривший мне вы и обращавшийся со мной вежливо.
Я посмотрел на него в недоумении, все еще стараясь понять, что это значит, и уже догадываясь, что происходит что-то необыкновенное.
— В самом деле, что тебе здесь стоять? Ступай в казарму, — проговорил один молодой парень, из военных, с которым я до сих пор вовсе был незнаком, малый добрый и тихий. — Не твоего ума это дело.
— Да ведь строятся, — отвечал я ему, — я думал, поверка.
— Ишь, тоже выполз, — крикнул один.
— Железный нос, — проговорил другой.
— Муходавы! — проговорил третий с невыразимым презрением.
Это новое прозвище вызвало всеобщий хохот.
— При милости на кухне состоит, — прибавил еще кто-то.
— Им везде рай. Тут каторга, а они калачи едят да поросят покупают. Ты ведь собственное ешь; чего ж сюда лезешь.
— Здесь вам не место, — проговорил Куликов, развязно подходя ко мне; он взял меня за руку и вывел из рядов.
Сам он был бледен, черные глаза его сверкали, и нижняя губа была закусана. Он не хладнокровно ожидал майора. Кстати: я ужасно любил смотреть на Куликова во всех подобных случаях, то есть во всех тех случаях, когда требовалось ему показать себя. Он рисовался ужасно, но и дело делал. Мне кажется, он и на казнь бы пошел с некоторым шиком, щеголеватостью. Теперь, когда все говорили мне ты и ругали меня, он, видимо, нарочно удвоил свою вежливость со мною, а вместе с тем слова его были как-то особенно, даже высокомерно настойчивы, не терпевшие никакого возражения.
— Мы здесь про свое, Александр Петрович, а вам здесь нечего делать. Ступайте куда-нибудь, переждите… Вон ваши все на кухне, идите туда.
— Под девятую сваю, где Антипка беспятый живет! — подхватил кто-то.
Сквозь приподнятое окно в кухне я действительно разглядел наших поляков; впрочем, мне показалось, что там, кроме их, много народу. Озадаченный, я пошел на кухню. Смех, ругательства и тюканье (заменявшее у каторжных свистки) раздались вслед.
— Не понравились!.. тю-тю-тю! бери его!..
Никогда еще я не был до сих пор так оскорблен в остроге, и в этот раз мне было очень тяжело. Но я попал в такую минуту. В сенях в кухне мне встретился Т-вский, из дворян, твердый и великодушный молодой человек, без большого образования и любивший ужасно Б. Его из всех других различали каторжные и даже отчасти любили. Он был храбр, мужествен и силен, и это как-то выказывалось в каждом жесте его.
— Что вы, Горянчиков, — закричал он мне, — идите сюда!
— Да что там такое?
— Они претензию показывают, разве вы не знаете? Им, разумеется, не удастся: кто поверит каторжным? Станут разыскивать зачинщиков, и если мы там будет, разумеется, на нас первых свалят обвинение в бунте. Вспомните, за что мы пришли сюда. Их просто высекут, а нас под суд. Майор нас всех ненавидит и рад погубить. Он нами сам оправдается.
— Да и каторжные выдадут нас головою, — прибавил М-цкий, когда мы вошли на кухню.
— Не беспокойтесь, не пожалеют! — подхватил Т-вский.
В кухне, кроме дворян, было еще много народу, всего человек тридцать. Все они остались, не желая показывать претензию, — одни из трусости, другие по решительному убеждению в полной бесполезности всякой претензии. Был тут и Аким Акимыч, закоренелый и естественный враг всех подобных претензий, мешающих правильному течению службы и благонравию. Он молча и чрезвычайно спокойно выжидал окончания дела, нимало не тревожась его исходом, напротив, совершенно уверенный в неминуемом торжестве порядка и воли начальства. Был тут и Исай Фомич, стоявший в чрезвычайном недоумении, повесив нос, жадно и трусливо прислушиваясь к нашему говору. Он был в большом беспокойстве. Были тут все острожные полячки из простых, примкнувшие тоже к дворянам. Было несколько робких личностей из русских, народу всегда молчаливого и забитого. Выйти с прочими они не осмелились и с грустью ожидали, чем кончится дело. Было, наконец, несколько угрюмых и всегда суровых арестантов, народу неробкого. Они остались по упрямому и брезгливому убеждению, что все это вздор и ничего, кроме худого, из этого дела не будет. Но мне кажется, что они все-таки чувствовали себя теперь как-то неловко, смотрели не совсем самоуверенно. Они хоть и понимали, что совершенно правы насчет претензии, что и подтвердилось впоследствии, но все-таки сознавали себя как бы отщепенцами, оставившими артель, точно выдали товарищей плац-майору. Очутился тут и Елкин, тот самый хитрый мужичок-сибиряк, пришедший за фальшивую монету и отбивший ветеринарную практику у Куликова. Старичок из Стародубовских слобод был тоже тут. Стряпки решительно все до единого остались на кухне, вероятно по убеждению, что они тоже составляют часть администрации, а следовательно, и неприлично им выходить против нее.
— Однако, — начал я, нерешительно обращаясь к М-му, — кроме этих, почти все вышли.
— Да нам-то что? — проворчал Б.
— Мы во сто раз больше их рисковали бы, если б вышли; а для чего? Je haïs ces brigands[3]. Неужели вы думаете хоть одну минуту, что их претензия состоится? Что за охота соваться в нелепость?
— Ничего из этого не будет, — подхватил один из каторжных, упрямый и озлобленный старик. Алмазов, бывший тут же, поспешил поддакнуть ему в ответ.
— Окроме того, что пересекут с полсотни, — ничего из этого не будет.
— Майор приехал! — крикнул кто-то, и все жадно бросились к окошкам.
Майор влетел злой, взбесившийся, красный, в очках. Молча, но решительно подошел он к фрунту. В этих случаях он действительно был смел и не терял присутствия духа. Впрочем, он почти всегда был вполпьяна. Даже его засаленная фуражка с оранжевым околышком и грязные серебряные эполеты имели в эту минуту что-то зловещее. За ним шел писарь Дятлов, чрезвычайно важная особа в нашем остроге, в сущности управлявший всем в остроге и даже имевший влияние на майора, малый хитрый, очень себе на уме, но и не дурной человек. Арестанты были им довольны. Вслед за ним шел наш унтер-офицер, очевидно уже успевший получить страшнейшую распеканцию и ожидавший еще вдесятеро больше; за ним конвойные, три или человека, не более. Арестанты, которые стояли без фуражек, кажется, еще с того самого времени, как послали за майором, теперь все выпрямились, подправились; каждый из них переступил с ноги на ногу, а затем все так и замерли на месте, ожидая первого слова или, лучше сказать, первого крика высшего начальства.
Он немедленно последовал; со второго слова майор заорал во все горло, даже с каким-то визгом на этот раз: очень уже он был разбешен. Из окон нам видно, как он бегал по фрунту, бросался, допрашивал. Впрочем, вопросов его, равно как и арестантских ответов, нам за дальностью места не было слышно. Только и расслышали мы, как он визгливо кричал:
— Бунтовщики!.. Сквозь строй… Зачинщики! Ты зачинщик! Ты зачинщик! — накинулся он на кого-то.
Ответа не было слышно. Но через минуту мы увидели, как арестант отделился и отправился в кордегардию. Еще через минуту отправился вслед за ним другой, потом третий.
— Всех под суд! я вас! Это кто там на кухне? — взвизгнул он, увидя нас в отворенные окошки. — Всех сюда! гнать их сейчас сюда!
Писарь Дятлов отправился к нам на кухню. В кухне сказали ему, что не имеют претензии. Он немедленно воротился и доложил майору.
— А, не имеют! — проговорил он двумя тонами ниже, видимо обрадованный. — Все равно, всех сюда!
Мы вышли. Я чувствовал, что как-то совестно нам выходить. Да и все шли, точно понурив голову.
— А, Прокофьев! Елкин тоже, это ты, Алмазов… Становитесь, становитесь сюда, в кучку, — говорил нам майор каким-то уторопленным, но мягким голосом, ласково на нас поглядывая. — М-цкий, ты тоже здесь… вот и переписать. Дятлов! Сейчас же переписать всех довольных особо и всех недовольных особо, всех до единого, и бумагу ко мне. Я всех вас представлю… под суд! Я вас, мошенники!
Бумага подействовала.
— Мы довольны! — угрюмо крикнул вдруг один голос из толпы недовольных, но как-то не очень решительно.
— А, довольны! Кто доволен? Кто доволен, тот выходи.
— Довольны, довольны! — прибавилось несколько голосов.
— Довольны! значит, вас смущали? значит, были зачинщики, бунтовщики? Тем хуже для них!..
— Господи, что ж это такое! — раздался чей-то голос в толпе.
— Кто, кто это крикнул, кто? — заревел майор, бросаясь в ту сторону, откуда послышался голос. — Это ты, Расторгуев, ты крикнул? В кордегардию!
Расторгуев, одутловатый и высокий молодой парень, вышел и медленно отправился в кордегардию. Крикнул вовсе не он, но так как на него указали, то он и не противоречил.
— С жиру беситесь! — завопил ему вслед майор. — Ишь, толстая рожа, в три дня не…! Вот я вас всех разыщу! Выходите, довольные!
— Довольны, ваше высокоблагородие! — мрачно раздалось несколько десятков голосов; остальные упорно молчали. Но майору только того и надо было. Ему, очевидно, самому было выгодно кончить скорее дело, и как-нибудь кончить согласием.
— А, теперь все довольны! — проговорил он торопясь. — Я это и видел… знал. Это зачинщики! Между ними, очевидно, есть зачинщики! — продолжал он, обращаясь к Дятлову. — Это надо подробнее разыскать. А теперь… теперь на работу время. Бей в барабан!
Он сам присутствовал на разводке. Арестанты молча и грустно расходились по работам, довольные по крайней мере тем, что поскорей с глаз долой уходили. Но после разводки майор немедленно наведался в кордегардию и распорядился с «зачинщиками», впрочем не очень жестоко. Даже спешил. Один из них, говорили потом, попросил прощения, и он тотчас простил его. Видно было, что майор отчасти не в своей тарелке и даже, может быть, струхнул. Претензия во всяком случае вещь щекотливая, и хотя жалоба арестантов в сущности и не могла назваться претензией, потому что показывали ее не высшему начальству, а самому же майору, но все-таки было как-то неловко, нехорошо. Особенно смущало, что все поголовно восстали. Следовало затушить дело во что бы то ни стало. «Зачинщиков» скоро выпустили. Назавтра же пища улучшилась, хотя, впрочем, ненадолго. Майор в первые дни стал чаще навещать острог и чаще находил беспорядки. Наш унтер-офицер ходил озабоченный и сбившийся с толку, как будто все еще не мог прийти в себя от удивления. Что же касается арестантов, то долго еще после этого они не могли успокоится, но уже не волновались по-прежнему, а были молча растревожены, озадачены как-то. Иные даже повесили голову. Другие ворчливо, хоть и несловоохотливо отзывались о всем этом деле. Многие как-то озлобленно и вслух подсмеивались сами над собою, точно казня себя за претензию.
— На-тко, брат, возьми, закуси! — говорит, бывало, один.
— Чему посмеешься, тому и поработаешь! — прибавляет другой.
— Где ты мышь, чтоб коту звонок привесила? — замечает третий.
— Нашего брата без дубины не уверишь, известно. Хорошо еще, что не всех высек.
— А ты вперед больше знай, да меньше болтай, крепче будет! — озлобленно замечает кто-нибудь.
— Да ты что учишь-то, учитель?
— Знамо дело, учу.
— Да ты кто таков выскочил?
— Да я-то покамест еще человек, а ты-то кто?
— Огрызок собачий, вот ты кто.
— Это ты сам.
— Ну, ну, довольно вам! чего загалдели! — кричат со всех сторон на спорящих…
В тот же вечер, то есть в самый день претензии, возвратясь с работы, я встретился за казармами с Петровым. Он меня уж искал. Подойдя ко мне, он что-то пробормотал, что-то вроде двух-трех неопределенных восклицаний, но вскоре рассеянно замолчал и машинально пошел со мной рядом. Все это дело еще больно лежало у меня на сердце, и мне показалось, что Петров мне кое-что разъяснит.
— Скажите, Петров, — спросил я его, — ваши на нас не сердятся?
— Кто сердится? — спросил он, как бы очнувшись.
— Арестанты на нас… на дворян.
— А за что на вас сердиться?
— Ну, да за то, что мы не вышли на претензию.
— Да вам зачем показывать претензию? — спросил он, как бы стараясь понять меня, — ведь вы свое кушаете.
— Ах, боже мой! Да ведь и из ваших есть, что свое едят, а вышли же. Ну, и нам надо было… из товарищества.
— Да… да какой же вы нам товарищ? — спросил он с недоумением.
Я поскорее взглянул на него: он решительно не понимал меня, не понимал, чего я добиваюсь. Но зато я понял его в это мгновение совершенно. В первый раз теперь одна мысль, уже давно неясно во мне шевелившаяся и меня преследовавшая, разъяснилась мне окончательно, и я вдруг понял то, о чем до сих пор плохо догадывался. Я понял, что меня никогда не примут в товарищество, будь я разарестант, хоть на веки вечные, хоть особого отделения. Но особенно остался мне в памяти вид Петрова в эту минуту. В его вопросе: «Какой же вы нам товарищ?» — слышалась такая неподдельная наивность, такое простодушное недоумение. Я думал: нет ли в этих словах какой-нибудь иронии, злобы, насмешки? Ничего не бывало: просто не товарищ, да и только. Ты иди своей дорогой, а мы своей; у тебя свои дела, а у нас свои.
И действительно, я было думал, что после претензии они просто загрызут нас и нам житья не будет. Ничуть не бывало: ни малейшего упрека, ни малейшего намека на упрек мы не слыхали, никакой особенной злобы не прибавилось. Просто пилили нас понемногу при случае, как и прежде пилили, и больше ничего. Впрочем, не сердились тоже нимало и на всех тех, которые не хотели показывать претензию и оставались на кухне, равно как и на тех, которые из первых крикнули, что всем довольны. Даже и не помянул об этом никто. Особенно последнего я не мог понять.

1. ↑ То есть с осердием. Арестанты в насмешку выговаривали: с усердием. (Прим. автора).
2. ↑ По зубам. (Прим. автора).
3. ↑ Я ненавижу этих разбойников. (франц.).

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VIII. Товарищи

Меня, конечно, более тянуло к своим, то есть к «дворянам», особенно в первое время. Но из троих бывших русских дворян, находившихся у нас в остроге (Акима Акимыча, шпиона А-ва и того, которого считали отцеубийцею), я знался и говорил только с Акимом Акимычем. Признаться, я подходил к Акиму Акимычу, так сказать, с отчаяния, в минуты самой сильной скуки и когда уже ни к кому, кроме него, подойти не предвиделось. В прошлой главе я было попробовал рассортировать всех наших людей на разряды, но теперь, как припомнил Акима Акимыча, то думаю, что можно еще прибавить один разряд. Правда, что он один его и составлял. Это — разряд совершенно равнодушных каторжных. Совершенно равнодушных, то есть таких, которым было бы все равно жить что на воле, что в каторге, у нас, разумеется, не было и быть не могло, но Аким Акимыч, кажется, составлял исключение. Он даже и устроился в остроге так, как будто всю жизнь собирался прожить в нем: все вокруг него, начиная с тюфяка, подушек, утвари, расположилось так плотно, так устойчиво, так надолго. Бивачного, временного не замечалось в нем и следа. Пробыть в остроге оставалось ему еще много лет, но вряд ли он хоть когда-нибудь подумал о выходе. Но если он и примирился с действительностью, то, разумеется, не по сердцу, а разве по субординации, что, впрочем, для него было одно и то же. Он был добрый человек и даже помогал мне вначале советами и кой-какими услугами; но, иногда, каюсь, невольно он нагонял на меня, особенно в первое время, тоску беспримерную, еще более усиливавшую и без того уже тоскливое расположение мое. А я от тоски-то и заговаривал с ним. Жаждешь, бывало, хоть какого-нибудь живого слова, хоть желчного, хоть нетерпеливого, хоть злобы какой-нибудь: мы бы уж хоть позлились на судьбу нашу вместе; а он молчит, клеит свои фонарики или расскажет о том, какой у них смотр был в таком-то году, и кто был начальник дивизии, и как его звали по имени и отчеству, и доволен был он смотром или нет, и как застрельщикам сигналы были изменены и проч. И все таким ровным, таки чинным голосом, точно вода капает по капле. Он даже почти совсем не воодушевлялся, когда рассказывал мне, что за участие в каком-то деле на Кавказе удостоился получить «святыя Анны» на шпагу. Только голос его становился в эту минуту как-то необыкновенно важен и солиден; он немного понижал его, даже до какой-то таинственности, когда произносил «святыя Анны», и после этого минуты на три становились как-то особенно молчалив и солиден… В этот первый год у меня бывали глупые минуты, когда я (и всегда как-то вдруг) начинал почти ненавидеть Акима Акимыча, неизвестно за что, и молча проклинал судьбу свою за то, что она поместила меня с ним на нарах голова с головою. Обыкновенно через час я уже укорял себя за это. Но это было только в первый год; впоследствии я совершенно примирился в душе с Акимом Акимычем и стыдился моих прежних глупостей. Наружно же мы, помнится, с ним никогда не ссорились.
Кроме этих троих русских, других в мое время перебывало у нас восемь человек. С некоторыми из них я сходился довольно коротко и даже с удовольствием, но не со всеми. Лучшие из них были какие-то болезненные, исключительные и нетерпимые в высшей степени. С двумя из них я впоследствии просто перестал говорить. Образованных из них было только трое: Б-ский, М-кий и старик Ж-кий, бывший прежде где-то профессором математики, — старик добрый, хороший, большой чудак и, несмотря на образование, кажется, крайне ограниченный человек. Совсем другие были М-кий и Б-кий. С М-ким я хорошо сошелся с первого раза; никогда с ним не ссорился, уважал его, но полюбить его, привязаться к нему я никогда не мог. Это был глубоко недоверчивый и озлобленный человек, но умевший удивительно хорошо владеть собой. Вот это-то слишком большое уменье и не нравилось в нем: как-то чувствовалось, что он никогда и ни перед кем не развернет всей души своей. Впрочем, может быть, я и ошибаюсь. Это была натура сильная и в высшей степени благородная. Чрезвычайная, даже несколько иезуитская ловкость и осторожность его в обхождении с людьми выказывала его затаенный, глубокий скептицизм. А между тем это была душа, страдающая именно этой двойственностью: скептицизма и глубокого, ничем непоколебимого верования в некоторые свои особые убеждения и надежды. Несмотря, однако же, на всю житейскую ловкость свою, он был в непримиримой вражде с Б-м и с другом его Т-ским. Б-кий был больной, несколько наклонный к чахотке человек, раздражительный и нервный, но в сущности предобрый и даже великодушный. Раздражительность его доходила иногда до чрезвычайной нетерпимости и капризов. Я не вынес этого характера и впоследствии разошелся с Б-м, но зато никогда не переставал любить его; а с М-ким и не ссорился, но никогда его не любил. Разойдясь с Б-м, так случилось, что я тотчас же должен был разойтись и с Т-ским, тем самым молодым человеком, о котором я упоминал в предыдущей главе, рассказывая о нашей претензии. Это было мне очень жаль. Т-ский был хоть и необразованный человек, но добрый, мужественный, славный молодой человек, одним словом. Все дело было в том, что он до того любил и уважал Б-го, до того благоговел перед ним, что тех, которые чуть-чуть расходились с Б-м, считал тотчас же почти своими врагами. Он и с М-м, кажется, разошелся впоследствии за Б-го, хотя долго крепился. Впрочем, все они были больные нравственно, желчные, раздражительные, недоверчивые. Это понятно: им было очень тяжело, гораздо тяжелее, чем нам. Были они далеко от своей родины. Некоторые из них были присланы на долгие сроки, на десять, на двенадцать лет, а главное, они с глубоким предубеждением смотрели на всех окружающих, видели в каторжных одно только зверство и не могли, даже не хотели, разглядеть в них ни одной доброй черты, ничего человеческого, и что тоже очень было понятно: на эту несчастную точку зрения они были поставлены силою обстоятельств, судьбой. Ясное дело, что тоска душила их в остроге. С черкесами, с татарами, с Исаем Фомичом они были ласковы и приветливы, но с отвращением избегали всех остальных каторжных. Только один стародубский старовер заслужил их полное уважение. Замечательно, впрочем, что никто из каторжных в продолжение всего времени, как я был в остроге, не упрекнул их ни в происхождении, ни в вере их, ни в образе мыслей, что встречается в нашем простонародье относительно иностранцев, преимущественно немцев, хотя, впрочем, и очень редко. Впрочем, над немцами только раз смеются; немец представляет собою что-то глубоко комическое для русского простонародья. С нашими же каторжные обращались даже уважительно, гораздо более, чем с нами, русскими, и нисколько не трогали их. Но те, кажется, никогда этого не хотели заметить и взять в соображение. Я заговорил о Т-ском. Это он, когда их переводили из места первой их ссылки в нашу крепость, нес Б-го на руках в продолжение чуть не всей дороги, когда тот, слабый здоровьем и сложением, уставал почти с полэтапа. Они присланы были прежде в У-горс. Там, рассказывали они, было им хорошо, то есть гораздо лучше, чем в нашей крепости. Но у них завелась какая-то, совершенно, впрочем, невинная, переписка с другими ссыльными из другого города, и за это троих нашли нужным перевести в нашу крепость, ближе на глаза к нашему высшему начальству. Третий товарищ их был Ж-кий. До их прибытия М-кий был в остроге один. То-то он должен был тосковать в первый год своей ссылки!
Этот Ж-кий был тот самый вечно молившийся богу старик, о котором я уже упоминал. Все наши политические преступники были народ молодой, некоторые даже очень; один Ж-кий был лет уже с лишком пятидесяти. Это был человек, конечно, честный, но несколько странный. Товарищи его, Б-кий и Т-кий, его очень не любили, даже не говорили с ним, отзываясь о нем, что он упрям и вздорен. Не знаю, насколько они были в этом случае правы. В остроге, как и во всяком таком месте, где люди сбираются в кучу не волею, насильно, мне кажется, скорее можно поссориться и даже возненавидеть друг друга, чем на воле. Много обстоятельств тому способствует. Впрочем, Ж-кий был действительно человек довольно тупой и, может быть, неприятный. Все остальные его товарищи были тоже с ним не в ладу. Я с ним хоть и никогда не ссорился, но особенно не сходился. Свой предмет, математику, он, кажется, знал. Помню, он все мне силился растолковать на своем полурусском языке какую-то особенную, им самим выдуманную астрономическую систему. Мне говорили, что он это когда-то напечатал, но над ним в ученом мире только посмеялись. Мне кажется, он был несколько поврежден рассудком. По целым дням он молился на коленях богу, чем снискал общее уважение каторги и пользовался им до самой смерти своей. Он умер в нашем госпитале после тяжелой болезни, на моих глазах. Впрочем, уважение каторжных он приобрел с самого первого шагу в острог после своей истории с нашим майором. В дороге от У-горска до нашей крепости их не брили, и они обросли бородами, так что когда их прямо привели к плац-майору, то он пришел в бешеное негодование на такое нарушение субординации, в чем, впрочем, они вовсе не были виноваты.
— В каком они виде! — заревел он. — Это бродяги, разбойники!
Ж-кий, тогда еще плохо понимавший по-русски и подумавший, что их спрашивают: кто они такие? бродяги или разбойники? — отвечал:
— Мы не бродяги, политические преступники.
— Ка-а-к! Ты грубить? грубить! — заревел майор. — В кордегардию! сто розог, сей же час, сию же минуту!
Старика наказали. Он лег под розги беспрекословно, закусил себе зубами руку и вытерпел наказание без малейшего крика или стона, не шевелясь. Б-кий и Т-кий тем временем уже вошли в острог, где М-кий уже поджидал их у ворот и прямо бросился к ним на шею, хотя до сих пор никогда их не видывал. Взволнованные от майорского приема, они рассказывали ему все о Ж-ком. Помню, как М-кий мне рассказывал об этом: "Я был вне себя, — говорил он, — я не понимал, что со мною делается, и дрожал, как в ознобе. Я ждал Ж-го у ворот. Он должен был прийти прямо из кордегардии, где его наказывали. Вдруг отворилась калитка: Ж-кий, не глядя ни на кого, с бледным лицом и с дрожавшими бледными губами, прошел между собравшихся на дворе каторжных, уже узнавших, что наказывают дворянина, вошел в казарму, прямо к своему месту, и, ни слова не говоря, стал на колени и начал молиться богу. Каторжные были поражены и даже растроганы. «Как увидал я этого старика, — говорил М-кий, — седого, оставившего у себя на родине жену, детей, как увидал я его на коленях, позорно наказанного и молящегося, — я бросился за казармы и целых два часа был как без памяти; я был в исступлении…» Каторжные стали очень уважать Ж-го с этих пор и обходились с ним всегда почтительно. Им особенно понравилось, что он не кричал под розгами.
Надобно, однако ж, сказать всю правду: по этому примеру отнюдь нельзя судить об обращении начальства в Сибири с ссыльными из дворян, кто бы они ни были, эти ссыльные, русские или поляки. Этот пример только показывает, что можно нарваться на лихого человека, и, конечно, будь этот лихой человек где-нибудь отдельным и старшим командиром, то участь ссыльного, в случае, если б его особенно невзлюбил этот лихой командир, была бы очень плохо обеспечена. Но нельзя не признаться, что самое высшее начальство в Сибири, от которого зависит тон и настрой всех прочих командиров, насчет ссыльных дворян очень разборчиво и даже в иных случаях норовит дать им поблажку в сравнении с остальными каторжными, из простонародия. Причины тому ясные: эти высшие начальники, во-первых, сами дворяне; во-вторых, случалось еще прежде, что некоторые из дворян не ложились под розги и бросались на исполнителей, отчего происходили ужасы; а в-третьих, и, мне кажется, это главное, уже давно, еще лет тридцать пять тому назад, в Сибирь явилась вдруг, разом, большая масса ссыльных дворян, и эти-то ссыльные в продолжение тридцати лет умели поставить и зарекомендовать себя так по всей Сибири, что начальство уже по старинной, преемственной привычке поневоле глядело в мое время на дворян-преступников известного разряда иными глазами, чем на всех других ссыльных. Вслед за высшим начальством привыкли глядеть такими же глазами и низшие командиры, разумеется заимствуя этот взгляд и тон свыше, повинуясь, подчиняясь ему. Впрочем, многие из этих низших командиров глядело тупо, критиковали про себя высшие распоряжения и очень, очень рады бы были, если б им только не мешали распорядиться по-своему. Но им не совсем это позволяли. Я имею твердое основание так думать, и вот почему. Второй разряд каторги, в котором я находился и состоявший из крепостных арестантов под военным начальством, был несравненно тяжеле остальных двух разрядов, то есть третьего (заводского) и первого (в рудниках). Тяжеле он был не только для дворян, но и для всех арестантов именно потому, что начальство и устройство этого разряда — все военное, очень похожее на арестантские роты в России. Военное начальство строже, порядки теснее, всегда в цепях, всегда под конвоем, всегда под замком: а этого нет в такой силе в первых двух разрядах. Так по крайней мере говорили все наши арестанты, а между ними были знатоки дела. Они все с радостью пошли бы в первый разряд, считающийся в законах тягчайшим, и даже много раз мечтали об этом. Об арестантских же ротах в России все наши, которые были там, говорили с ужасом и уверяли, что во всей России нет тяжеле места, как арестантские роты по крепостям, и что в Сибири рай сравнительно с тамошней жизнью. Следовательно, если при таком строгом содержании, как в нашем остроге, при военном начальстве, на глазах самого генерал-губернатора, и, наконец, ввиду таких случаев (иногда бывавших), что некоторые посторонние, но официозные люди, по злобе или по ревности у службе, готовы были тайком донести куда следует, что такого-то, дескать, разряда преступникам такие-то неблагонамеренные командиры дают поблажку, — если в таком месте, говорю я, на преступников-дворян смотрели несколько другими глазами, чем на остальных каторжных, то тем более смотрели на них гораздо льготнее в первом и третьем разряде. Следственно, по тому месту, где я был, мне кажется, я могу судить в этом отношении и о всей Сибири. Все слухи и рассказы, доходившие до меня на этот счет от ссыльных первого и третьего разрядов, подтверждали мое заключение. В самом деле, на всех нас, дворян, в нашем острога начальство смотрело внимательнее и осторожнее. Поблажки нам насчет работы и содержания не было решительно никакой: те же работы, те же кандалы, те же замки — одним словом, все то же самое, что и у всех арестантов. Да и облегчить-то нельзя было. Я знаю, что в этом городе в то недавнее давнопрошедшее время было столько доносчиков, столько интриг, столько рывших друг другу яму, что начальство, естественно, боялось доноса. А уж чего страшнее было в то время доноса о том, что известного разряда преступникам дают поблажку! Итак, всякий побаивался, и мы жили наравне со всеми каторжными, но относительно телесного наказания было некоторое исключение. Правда, нас бы чрезвычайно удобно высекли, если б мы заслужили это, то есть проступились в чем-нибудь. Этого требовал долг службы и равенства — перед телесным наказанием. Но так, зря, легкомысленно нас все-таки бы не высекли, а с простыми арестантами такого рода легкомысленное обращение, разумеется, случалось, особенно при некоторых субалтерных командирах и охотниках распорядиться и внушить при всяком удобном случае. Нам известно было, что комендант, узнав об истории с стариком Ж-ким, очень вознегодовал на майора и внушил ему, чтоб он на будущее время изволил держать руки покороче. Так рассказывали мне все. Знали тоже у нас, что сам генерал-губернатор, доверявший нашему майору и отчасти любивший его как исполнителя и человека с некоторыми способностями, узнав про эту историю, тоже выговаривал ему. И майор наш принял это к сведению. Уж как, например, ему хотелось добраться до М-го, которого он ненавидел через наговоры А-ва, но он никак не мог его высечь, хотя и искал предлога, гнал его и подыскивался к нему. Об истории Ж-го скоро узнал весь город, и общее мнение было против майора; многие ему выговаривали, иные даже с неприятностями. Вспоминаю теперь и мою первую встречу с плац-майором. Нас, то есть меня и другого ссыльного из дворян, с которым я вместе вступил в каторгу, напугали еще в Тобольске рассказами о неприятном характере этого человека. Бывшие там в это время старинные двадцатипятилетние ссыльные из дворян, встретившие нас с глубокой симпатией и имевшие с нами сношения все время, как мы сидели на пересыльном дворе, предостерегали нас от будущего командира нашего и обещались сделать все, что только могут, через знакомых людей, чтоб защитить нас от его преследования. В самом деле, три дочери генерал-губернатора, приехавшие из России и гостившие в то время у отца, получили от них письма и, кажется, говорили ему в нашу пользу. Но что он мог сделать? Он только сказал майору, чтоб он был несколько поразборчивее. Часу в третьем пополудни мы, то есть я и товарищ мой, прибыли в этот город, и конвойные прямо повели нас к нашему повелителю. Мы стояли в передней, ожидая его. Между тем уже послали за острожным унтер-офицером. Как только явился он, вышел и плац-майор. Багровое, угреватое и злое лицо его произвело на нас чрезвычайно тоскливое впечатление: точно злой паук выбежал на бедную муху, попавшуюся в его паутину.
— Как тебя зовут? — спросил он моего товарища. Он говорил скоро, резко, отрывисто и, очевидно, хотел произвести на нас впечатление.
— Такой-то.
— Тебя? — продолжал он, обращаясь ко мне, уставив на меня свои очки.
— Такой-то.
— Унтер-офицер! сейчас их в острог, выбрить в кордегардии по-гражданскому, немедленно, половину головы; кандалы перековать завтра же. Это какие шинели? откуда получили? — спросил он вдруг, обратив внимание на серые капоты с желтыми кругами на спинах, выданные нам в Тобольске и в которых мы предстали пред его светлые очи. — Это новая форма! Это, верно, какая-нибудь новая форма… Еще проектируется… из Петербурга… — говорил он, повертывая нас поочередно. — С ними нет ничего? — спросил он вдруг конвоировавшего нас жандарма.
— Собственная одежда есть, ваше высокоблагородие, — отвечал жандарм, как-то мгновенно вытянувшись, даже с небольшим вздрагивание. Его все знали, все о нем слышали, он всех пугал.
— Все отобрать. Отдать им только одно белье, и то белое, а цветное, если есть, отобрать. Остальное все продать с аукциона. Деньги записать в приход. Арестант не имеет собственности, — продолжал он, строго посмотрев на нас. — Смотрите же, вести себя хорошо! чтоб я не слыхал! Не то… телес-ным на-казанием! За малейший проступок — р-р-розги!..
Весь этот вечер я с непривычки был почти болен от этого приема. Впрочем, впечатление усилилось и тем, что я увидел в остроге; но о вступлении моем в острог я уже рассказывал.
Я упомянул сейчас, что нам не делали и не смели делать никакой поблажки, никакого облегчения перед прочими арестантами в работе. Но один раз, однако, попробовали сделать: я и Б-кий целых три месяца ходили в инженерную канцелярию в качестве писарей. Но это сделали шито-крыто, и сделало инженерное начальство. То есть прочие все, пожалуй, кому надо было, знали, но делали вид, что не знали. Это случилось еще при командире команды Г-ве. Подполковник Г-ков упал к нам как с неба, пробыл у нас очень недолго, — если не ошибаюсь, не более полугода, даже и того меньше, — и уехал в Россию, произведя необыкновенное впечатление на всех арестантов. Его не то что любили арестанты, его они обожали, если только можно употребить здесь это слово. Как он это сделал, не знаю, но он завоевал их с первого разу. «Отец, отец! отца не надо!» — говорили поминутно арестанты во все время его управления инженерною частью. Кутила он был, кажется, ужаснейший. Небольшого роста, с дерзким, самоуверенным взглядом. Но вместе с тем он был ласков с арестантами, чуть не до нежностей, и действительно буквально любил их, как отец. Отчего он так любил арестантов — сказать не могу, но он не мог видеть арестанта, чтоб не сказать ему ласкового, веселого слова, чтоб не посмеяться с ним, не пошутить с ним, и, главное, — ни капли в этом не было чего-нибудь начальственного, хоть чего-нибудь обозначавшего неравную или чисто начальственную ласку. Это был свой товарищ, свой человек в высочайшей степени. Но, несмотря на весь этот инстинктивный демократизм его, арестанты ни разу не проступились перед ним в какой-нибудь непочтительности, фамильярности. Напротив. Только все лицо арестанта расцветало, когда он встречался с командиром, и, снявши шапку, он уже смотрел улыбаясь, когда тот подходил к нему. А если тот заговорит — как рублем подарит. Бывают же такие популярные люди. Смотрел он молодцом, ходил прямо, браво. «Орел! » — говорят, бывало, о нем арестанты. Облегчить их он, конечно, ничем не мог; заведовал он только одними инженерными работами, которые и при всех других командирах шли в своем всегдашнем, раз заведенном законном порядке. Разве только, встретив случайно партию на работе, видя, что дело кончено, не держит, бывало, лишнего времени и отпустит до барабана. Но нравилась его доверенность к арестанту, отсутствие мелкой щепетильности и раздражительности, совершенное отсутствие иных оскорбительных форм в начальнических отношениях. Потеряй он тысячу рублей — я думаю, первый вор из наших, если б нашел их, отнес бы к нему. Да, я уверен, что так было бы. С каким глубоким участием узнали арестанты, что их орел-командир поссорился насмерть с нашим ненавистным майором. Это случилось в первый же месяц по его прибытии. Наш майор был когда-то его сослуживец. Они встретились после долгой разлуки и закутили было вместе. Но вдруг у них порвалось. Они поссорились, и Г-в сделался ему смертельным врагом. Слышно было даже, что они подрались при этом случае, что с нашим майором могло случиться: он часто дирался. Как услышали это арестанты, радости их не было конца. «Осьмиглазому ли с таким ужиться! тот орел, а наш…», и тут обыкновенно прибавлялось словцо, неудобное в печати. Ужасно интересовались у нас тем, кто из них кого поколотил. Если б слух об их драке оказался неверным (что, может быть, так и было), то, кажется, нашим арестантикам было бы это очень досадно. «Нет, уж наверно командир одолел, — говорили они, — он маленький, да удаленький, а тот, слышь, под кровать от него залез». Но скоро Г-ков уехал, и арестанты опять впали в уныние. Инженерные командиры были у нас, правда, все хорошие: при мне сменилось их трое или четверо; «да все не нажить уж такого, — говорили арестанты, — орел был, орел и заступник». Вот этот-то Г-ков очень любил всех нас, дворян, и под конец велел мне и Б-му ходить иногда в канцелярию. По отъезде же его это устроилось более правильным образом. Из инженеров были люди (из них особенно один), очень нам симпатизировавшие. Мы ходили, переписывали бумаги, даже почерк наш стал совершенствоваться, как вдруг от высшего начальства последовало немедленное повеление поворотить нас на прежние работы: кто-то уж успел донести! Впрочем, это и хорошо было: канцелярия стала нам обоим очень надоедать. Потом мы года два почти неразлучно ходили с Б-м на одни работы, чаще же всего в мастерскую. Мы с ним болтали; говорили об наших надеждах, убеждениях. Славный был он человек; но убеждения его иногда были очень странные, исключительные. Часто у некоторого разряда людей, очень умных, устанавливаются иногда совершенно парадоксальные понятия. Но за них столько было в жизни выстрадано, такою дорогою ценою они достались, что оторваться от них уже слишком больно, почти невозможно. Б-кий с болью принимал каждое возражение и с едкостью отвечал мне. Впрочем, во многом, может быть, он был и правее меня, не знаю; но мы наконец расстались, и это было мне очень больно: мы уже много разделили вместе.
Между тем М-кий с годами все как-то становился грустнее и мрачнее. Тоска одолевала его. Прежде, в первое мое время а остроге, он был сообщительнее, душа его все-таки чаще и больше вырывалась наружу. Уже третий год жил он в каторге в то время, как я поступил. Сначала он многим интересовался из того, что в эти года случилось на свете и об чем он не имел понятия, сидя в остроге; расспрашивал меня, слушал, волновался. Но под конец, с годами, все это как-то стало в нем сосредоточиваться внутри, на сердце. Угли покрывались золою. Озлобление росло в нем более и более. «Je haïs ces brigands», — повторял он мне часто, с ненавистью смотря на каторжных, которых я уже успел узнать ближе, и никакие доводы мои в их пользу на него не действовали. Он не понимал, что я говорю; иногда, впрочем, рассеянно соглашался; но назавтра же опять повторял: «Je haïs ces brigands». Кстати: мы с ним часто говорили по-французски, и за это один пристав над работами, инженерный солдат Дранишников, неизвестно по какому соображению, прозвал нас фершелами. М-кий воодушевлялся, только вспоминая про свою мать. «Она стара, она больная, — говорил он мне, — она любит меня более всего на свете, а я здесь не знаю, жива она или нет? Довольно уж для нее того, что она знала, как меня гоняли сквозь строй…» М-кий был не дворянин и перед ссылкой был наказан телесно. Вспоминая об этом, он стискивал зубы и старался смотреть в сторону. В последнее время он все чаще и чаще стал ходить один. Раз поутру, в двенадцатом часу, его потребовали к коменданту. Комендант вышел к нему с веселой улыбкой.
— Ну, М-кий, что ты сегодня во сне видел? — спросил он его.
«Я так и вздрогнул, — рассказывал, воротясь к нам, М-кий. — Мне будто сердце пронзило».
— Видел, что письмо от матери получил, — отвечал он.
— Лучше, лучше! — возразил комендант. — Ты свободен! Твоя мать просила… просьба ее услышана. Вот письмо ее, а вот и приказ о тебе. Сейчас же выйдешь из острога.
Он воротился к нам бледный, еще не очнувшийся от известия. Мы его поздравляли. Он жал нам руки своими дрожащими, похолодевшими руками. Многие арестанты тоже поздравляли его и рады были его счастью.
Он вышел на поселенье и остался в нашем же городе. Вскоре ему дали место. Сначала он часто приходил к нашему острогу и, когда мог, сообщал нам разные новости. Преимущественно политические очень интересовали его.
Из остальных четырех, то есть кроме М-го, Т-го, Б-го и Ж-го, двое были еще очень молодые люди, присланные на короткие сроки, малообразованные, но честные, простые, прямые. Третий, А-чуковский, был уже слишком простоват и ничего особенного не заключал в себе, но четвертый, Б-м, человек уже пожилой, производил на всех нас прескверное впечатление. Не знаю, как он попал в разряд таких преступников, да и сам он отрицал это. Это была грубая, мелкомещанская душа, с привычками и правилами лавочника, разбогатевшего на обсчитанные копейки. Он был безо всякого образования и не интересовался ничем, кроме своего ремесла. Он был маляр, но маляр из ряду вон, маляр великолепный. Скоро начальство узнало о его способностях, и весь город стал требовать Б-ма для малеванья стен и потолков. В два года он расписал почти все казенные квартиры. Владетели квартир платили ему от себя, и жил он таки небедно. Но всего лучше было то, что на работу с ним стали посылать и других его товарищей. Из троих, ходивших с ним постоянно, двое научились у него ремеслу, и один из них, Т-жевский, стал малевать не хуже его. Наш плац-майор, занимавший тоже казенный дом, в свою очередь потребовал Б-ма и велел расписать ему все стены и потолки. Тут уж Б-м постарался: у генерал-губернатора не было так расписано. Дом был деревянный, одноэтажный, довольно дряхлый и чрезвычайно шелудивый снаружи: расписано же внутри было, как во дворце, и майор был в восторге… Он потирал руки и поговаривал, что теперь непременно женится. «При такой квартире нельзя не жениться», — прибавлял он очень серьезно. Б-мом был он все более и более доволен, а чрез него и другими, работавшими с ним вместе. Работа шла целый месяц. В этом месяце майор совершенно изменил свое мнение о всех наших и начал им покровительствовать. Дошло до того, что однажды вдруг он потребовал к себе из острога Ж-го.
— Ж-кий! — сказал он, — я тебя оскорбил. Я тебя высек напрасно, я знаю это. Я раскаиваюсь. Понимаешь ты это? Я, я, я — раскаиваюсь!
Ж-кий отвечал, что он это понимает.
— Понимаешь ли ты, что я, я, твой начальник, призвал тебя с тем, чтоб просить у тебя прощения! Чувствуешь ли ты это? Кто ты передо мной? червяк! меньше червяка: ты арестант! а я — божьею милостью[1] майор. Майор! понимаешь ли ты это?
Ж-кий отвечал, что и это понимает.
— Ну, так теперь я мирюсь с тобой. Но чувствуешь ли, чувствуешь ли это вполне, во всей полноте? Способен ли ты это понять и почувствовать? Сообрази только: я, я, майор… и т. д.
Ж-кий сам рассказывал мне всю эту сцену. Стало быть, было же и в этом пьяном, вздорном и беспорядочном человеке человеческое чувство. Взяв в соображение его понятия и развитие, такой поступок можно было считать почти великодушным. Впрочем, пьяный вид, может быть, тому много способствовал.
Мечта его не осуществилась: он не женился, хотя уж совершенно было решился, когда кончили отделывать его квартиру. Вместо женитьбы он попал под суд, и ему велено было подать в отставку. Тут уж и все старые грехи ему приплели. Прежде в этом городе он был, помнится, городничим… Удар упал на него неожиданно. В остроге непомерно обрадовались известию. Это был праздник, торжество! Майор, говорят, ревел, как старая баба, и обливался слезами. Но делать нечего. Он вышел в отставку, пару серых продал, потом все имение и впал даже в бедность. Мы встречали его потом в штатском изношенном сюртуке, в фуражке с кокардочкой. Он злобно смотрел на арестантов. Но все обаяние его прошло, только что он снял мундир. В мундире он был гроза, бог. В сюртуке он вдруг стал совершенно ничем и смахивал на лакея. Удивительно, как много составляет мундир у этих людей.

1. ↑ Буквальное выражение, впрочем в мое время употреблявшееся не одним нашим майором, а и многими мелкими командирами, преимущественно вышедшими из нижних чинов. (Прим. автора).

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IX. Побег

Вскоре после смены нашего плац-майора случились коренные изменения в нашем остроге. Каторгу уничтожили и вместо нее основали арестантскую роту военного ведомства, на основании российских арестантских рот. Это значило, что уже ссыльных каторжных второго разряда в наш острог больше не приводили. Начал же он заселяться с сей поры единственно только арестантами военного ведомства, стало быть, людьми, не лишенными прав состояния, теми же солдатами, как и все солдаты, только наказанными, приходившими на короткие сроки (до шести лет наибольше) и по выходе из острога поступавшими опять в свои батальоны рядовыми, какими были они прежде. Впрочем, возвращавшиеся в острог по вторичным преступлениям наказывались, как и прежде, двадцатилетним сроком. У нас, впрочем, и до этой перемены было отделение арестантов военного разряда, но они жили с нами потому, что им не было другого места. Теперь же весь острог стал этим военным разрядом. Само собою разумеется, что прежние каторжные, настоящие гражданские каторжные, лишенные всех своих прав, клейменые и обритые вдоль головы, остались при остроге до окончания их полных сроков; новых не приходило, а оставшиеся помаленьку отживали сроки и уходили, так что лет через десять в нашем остроге не могло остаться ни одного каторжного. Особое отделение тоже осталось при остроге, и в него все еще от времени до времени присылались тяжкие преступники военного ведомства, впредь до открытия в Сибири самых тяжелых каторжных работ. Таким образом, для нас жизнь продолжалась в сущности по-прежнему: то же содержание, та же работа и почти те же порядки, только начальство изменилось и усложнилось. Назначен был штаб-офицер, командир роты и, сверх того, четыре обер-офицера, дежуривших поочередно по острогу. Уничтожены были тоже инвалиды; вместо них учреждены двенадцать унтер-офицеров и каптенармус. Завелись разделы по десяткам, завелись ефрейтора из самих арестантов, номинально разумеется, и уж само собою Аким Акимыч тотчас же оказался ефрейтором. Все это новое учреждение и весь острог со всеми его чинами и арестантами по-прежнему остались в ведомстве коменданта как высшего начальника. Вот и все, что произошло. Разумеется, арестанты сначала очень волновались, толковали, угадывали и раскусывали новых начальников; но когда увидели, что в сущности все осталось по-прежнему, тотчас же успокоились, и жизнь наша пошла по-старому. Но главное то, что все были избавлены от прежнего майора; все как бы отдохнули и ободрились. Исчез запуганный вид; всяк знал теперь, что в случае нужды мог объясняться с начальником, что правого разве по ошибке накажут вместо виновного. Даже вино продолжало продаваться у нас точно так же и на тех же основаниях, как и прежде, несмотря на то что вместо прежних инвалидов настали унтер-офицеры. Эти унтер-офицеры оказались большею частью людьми порядочными и смышлеными, понимающими свое положение. Иные из них, впрочем, выказывали вначале поползновение куражиться и, конечно по неопытности, думали обращаться с арестантами, как с солдатами. Но скоро и эти поняли, в чем дело. Другим же, слишком долго не понимавшим, доказали уж сущность дела сами арестанты. Бывали довольно резкие столкновения: например, соблазнят, напоят унтер-офицера да после того и доложат ему, по-свойски разумеется, что он пил вместе с ними, а следственно… Кончилось тем, что унтер-офицеры равнодушно смотрели или, лучше, старались не смотреть, как проносят пузыри и продают водку. Мало того: как и прежние инвалиды, они ходили на базар и приносили арестантам калачей, говядину и все прочее, то есть такое, за что могли взяться без большого зазору. Для чего это все так переменилось, для чего завели арестантскую роту, этого уж я не знаю. Случилось уже это в последние годы моей каторги. Но два года еще суждено мне было прожить при этих новых порядках…
Записывать ли всю эту жизнь, все мои годы в остроге? Не думаю. Если писать по порядку, кряду, все, что случилось и что я видел и испытал в эти годы, можно было, разумеется, еще написать втрое, вчетверо больше глав, чем до сих пор написано. Но такое описание поневоле станет наконец слишком однообразно. Все приключения выйдут слишком в одном и том же тоне, особенно если читатель уже успел, по тем главам, которые написаны, составить себе хоть несколько удовлетворительное понятие о каторжной жизни второго разряда. Мне хотелось представить весь наш острог и все, что я прожил в эти годы, в одной наглядной и яркой картине. Достиг ли я этой цели, не знаю. Да отчасти и не мне судить об этом. Но я убежден, что на этом можно и кончить. К тому же меня самого берет иногда тоска при этих воспоминаниях. Да вряд ли я и могу все припомнить. Дальнейшие годы как-то стерлись в моей памяти. Многие обстоятельства, я убежден в этом, совсем забыты мною. Я помню, например, что все эти годы, в сущности один на другой так похожие, проходили вяло, тоскливо. Помню, что эти долгие, скучные дни были так однообразны, точно вода после дождя капала с крыши по капле. Помню, что одно только страстное желание воскресенья, обновления, новой жизни укрепило меня ждать и надеяться. И я наконец скрепился: я ждал, я отсчитывал каждый день и, несмотря на то что оставалось их тысячу, с наслаждением отсчитывал по одному, провожал, хоронил его и с наступлением другого дня рад был, что остается уже не тысяча дней, а девятьсот девяносто девять. Помню, что во все это время, несмотря на сотни товарищей, я был в страшном уединении, и я полюбил наконец это уединение. Одинокий душевно, я пересматривал всю прошлую жизнь мою, перебирал все до последних мелочей, вдумывался в мое прошедшее, судил себя один неумолимо и строго и даже в иной час благословлял судьбу за то, что она послала мне это уединение, без которого не состоялись бы ни этот суд над собой, ни этот строгий пересмотр прежней жизни. И какими надеждами забилось тогда мое сердце! Я думал, я решил, я клялся себе, что уже не будет в моей будущей жизни ни тех ошибок, ни тех падений, которые были прежде. Я начертал себе программу всего будущего и положил твердо следовать ей. Во мне возродилась слепая вера, что я все это исполню и могу исполнить… Я ждал, я звал поскорее свободу; я хотел испробовать себя вновь, на новой борьбе. Порой захватывало меня судорожное нетерпение… Но мне больно вспоминать теперь о тогдашнем настроении души моей. Конечно, все это одного только меня касается… Но я оттого и записал это, что, мне кажется, всякий это поймет, потому что со всяким то же самое должно случиться, если он попадет в тюрьму на срок, в цвете лет и сил.
Но что об этом!.. Лучше расскажу еще что-нибудь, чтоб уж не кончить слишком резким отрубом.
Мне пришло в голову, что, пожалуй, кто-нибудь спросит: неужели из каторги нельзя было никому убежать и во все эти года никто у нас не бежал? Я писал уже, что арестант, пробывший два-три года в остроге, начинает уже ценить эти годы и невольно приходит к расчету, что лучше дожить остальные без хлопот, без опасностей и выйти наконец законным образом на поселение. Но такой расчет помещается только в голове арестанта, присланного не на долгий срок. Долголетний, пожалуй бы, и готов рискнуть… Но у нас как-то этого на делалось. Не знаю, трусили ль очень, присмотр ли был особенно строгий, военный, местность ли нашего города во многом не благоприятствовала (степная, открытая) — трудно сказать. Я думаю, все эти причины имели свое влияние. Действительно, убежать от нас было трудновато. А между тем и при мне случилось одно такое дело: двое рискнули, и даже из самых важных преступников…
После смены майора А-в (тот, который шпионил ему на острог) остался совершенно один, без протекции. Он был еще очень молодой человек, но характер его укреплялся и устанавливался с летами. Вообще это был человек дерзкий, решительный и даже очень смышленый. Он хоть бы и продолжал шпионить и промышлять разными подземными способами, если б ему дали свободу, но уж не попался бы теперь так глупо и нерасчетливо, как прежде, поплатившись за свою глупость ссылкой. Он упражнялся у нас отчасти и в фальшивых паспортах. Не говорю, впрочем, утвердительно. Так слышал я от наших арестантов. Говорили, что он работал в этом роде, еще когда ходил к плац-майору на кухню, и, разумеется, извлек из этого посильный доход. Одним словом, он, кажется, мог решиться на все, чтоб переменить свою участь. Я имел случай узнать его душу: цинизм его доходил до возмутительно дерзости, до самой холодной насмешки и возбуждал непреодолимое отвращение. Мне кажется, если б ему очень захотелось выпить шкалик вина и если б шкалик можно было получить не иначе, как зарезав кого-нибудь, то он непременно зарезал, если б только это можно было сделать втихомолку, чтоб никто не узнал. В остроге он научился расчету. Вот на этого-то человека и обратил внимание особого отделения арестант Куликов.
Я уже говорил о Куликове. Человек он был немолодой, но страстный, живучий, сильный, с чрезвычайными и разнообразными способностями. В нем была сила, и ему еще хотелось пожить; таким людям до самой глубокой старости все еще хочется жить. И если б я стал дивиться, отчего у нас не бегут, то, разумеется, подивился бы на первого Куликова. Но Куликов решился. Кто на кого из них имел больше влияния: А-в на Куликова, или Куликов на А-ва? — не знаю, но оба друг друга стоили и для этого дела были люди взаимно подходящие. Они сдружились. Мне кажется, Куликов рассчитывал, что А-в приготовит паспорты. А-в был из дворян, был хорошего общества — это сулило некоторое разнообразие в будущих приключениях, только бы добраться до России. Кто знает, как они сговорились и какие у них были надежды; но, уж верно, надежды их выходили из обыкновенной рутины сибирского бродяжничества. Куликов был от природы актер, мог выбирать многие и разнообразные роли в жизни; мог на многое надеяться, по крайней мере на разнообразие. Таких людей должен был давить острог. Они сговорились бежать.
Но без конвойного бежать было невозможно. Надо было подговорить с собой вместе конвойного. В одном из батальонов, стоявших в крепости, служил один поляк, энергический человек и, может быть, достойный лучшей участи, человек уже пожилой, молодцеватый, серьезный. Смолоду, только что придя на службу в Сибирь, он бежал от глубокой тоски по родине. Его поймали, наказали и года два продержали в арестантских ротах. Когда его поворотили опять в солдаты, он одумался и стал служить ревностно, изо всех сил. За отличие его сделали ефрейтором. Это был человек с честолюбием, самонадеянный и знавший себе цену. Он так и смотрел, так и говорил, как знающий себе цену. Я несколько раз в эти годы встречал его между нашими конвойными. Мне кое-что говорили о нем и поляки. Мне показалось, что прежняя тоска обратилась в нем в ненависть, скрытую, глухую, всегдашнюю. Этот человек мог решиться на все, и Куликов не ошибся, выбрав его товарищем. Фамилия его была Коллер. Они сговорились и назначили день. Это было в июне месяце, в жаркие дни. Климат в этом городе довольно ровный; летом погода стоит постоянная, горячая: а это и на руку бродяге. Разумеется, они никак не могли пуститься прямо с места, из крепости: весь город стоит на юру, открытый со всех сторон. Кругом на довольно далекое пространство нет леса. Надо было переодеться в обывательский костюм, а для этого сначала пробраться в форштадт, где у Куликова издавна был притон. Не знаю, были ли форштадтские благоприятели их в полном секрете. Надо полагать, что были, хотя потом, при деле, это не совсем объяснилось. В этот год в одном углу форштадта только что начинала свое поприще одна молодая и весьма пригожая девица, по прозвищу Ванька-Танька, подававшая большие надежды и отчасти осуществившая их впоследствии. Звали ее тоже: огонь. Кажется, и она тут принимала некоторое участие. Куликов разорялся на нее уже целый год. Наши молодцы вышли утром на разводку и ловко устроили так, что их отправили с арестантом Шилкиным, печником и штукатурщиком, штукатурить батальонные пустые казармы, из которых солдаты давно уже вышли в лагери. А-в и Куликов отправились с ним в качестве подносчиков. Коллер подвернулся в конвойные, а так как за троими требовалось двух конвойных, то Коллеру, как старому служивому и ефрейтору, охотно поручили молодого рекрутика в видах наставления и обучения его конвойному делу. Стало быть, имели же наши беглецы сильнейшее влияние на Коллера и поверил же он им, когда после долголетней и удачной в последние годы службы он, человек умный, солидный, расчетливый, решился за ними следовать.
Они пришли в казармы. Было часов шесть утра. Кроме их, никого не было. Поработав с час, Куликов и А-в сказали Шилкину, что пойдут в мастерскую, во-первых, чтоб повидать кого-то, а во-вторых, кстати уж и захватят какой-то инструмент, который оказался в недостаче. С Шилкиным надо было вести дело хитро, то есть как можно натуральнее. Он был москвич, печник по ремеслу, из московских мещан, хитрый, пронырливый, умный, малоречистый. Наружностью он был щедушный и испитой. Ему бы век ходить в жилетке и халате, по-московски, но судьба сделала иначе, и после долгих странствий он засел у нас навсегда в особом отделении, то есть в разряде самых страшных военных преступников. Чем он заслужил такую карьеру, не знаю; но особенного недовольства в нем никогда не замечалось; вел он себя смирно и ровно; иногда только напивался как сапожник, но вел себя и тут хорошо. В секрете, разумеется, он не был, а глаза у него были зоркие. Само собою, что Куликов мигнул ему, что они идут за вином, которое припасено в мастерской еще со вчерашнего дня. Это тронуло Шилкина; он расстался с ними без всяких подозрений и остался с одним рекрутиком, а Куликов, А-в и Коллер отправились в форштадт.
Прошло полчаса; отсутствующие не возвращались, и вдруг, спохватившись, Шилкин начал задумываться. Парень прошел сквозь медные трубы. Начал он припоминать: Куликов был как-то особенно настроен. А-в два раза как будто с ним пошептался, по крайней мере Куликов мигнул ему раза два, он это видел; теперь он это все помнит. В Коллере тоже что-то замечалось: по крайней мере, уходя с ними, он начал читать наставления рекрутику, как вести себя в его отсутствие, а это было как-то не совсем естественно, по крайней мере от Коллера. Одним словом, чем дальше припоминал Шилкин, тем подозрительнее он становился. Время между тем шло, они не возвращались, и беспокойство его достигло крайних пределов. Он очень хорошо понимал, сколько он рисковал в этом деле: на него могли обратиться подозрения начальства. Могли подумать, что он отпустил товарищей зазнамо, по взаимному соглашению, и, если б он промедлил объявить об исчезновении Куликова и А-ва, подозрения эти получили бы еще более вероятия. Времени терять было нечего. Тут он вспомнил, что в последнее время Куликов и А-в были как-то особенно близки между собою, часто шептались, часто ходили за казармами, вдали от всех глаз. Вспомнил он, что и тогда уж что-то подумал про них… Пытливо поглядел он на своего конвойного: тот зевал, облокотясь на ружье, и невиннейшим образом прочищал пальцем свой нос, так что Шилкин и не удостоил сообщить ему своих мыслей, а просто-запросто сказал ему, чтоб он следовал за ним в инженерную мастерскую. В мастерской надо было спросить, не приходили ль они туда? Но оказалось, что там их никто не видал. Все сомнения Шилкина рассеялись: «Если б они просто пошли попить да погулять в форштадт, что иногда делал Куликов, — думал Шилкин, — то даже и этого тут быть не могло. Они бы сказали ему, потому этого не стоило бы от него таить». Шилкин бросил работу и, не заходя в казарму, отправился прямо в острог.
Было уже почти девять часов, когда он явился к фельдфебелю и объявил ему в чем дело. Фельдфебель струхнул и даже верить не хотел сначала. Разумеется, и Шилкин объявил ему все это только в виде догадки, подозрения. Фельдфебель прямо кинулся к майору. Майор немедленно к коменданту. Через четверть часа уже взяты были все необходимые меры. Доложили самому генерал-губернатору. Преступники были важные, и за них мог быть сильнейший нагоняй из Петербурга. Правильно или нет, но А-в причислялся к преступникам политическим; Куликов был особого отделения, то есть архипреступник, да еще военный вдобавок. Примеру еще не было до сих пор, чтоб бежал кто-нибудь из особого отделения. Припомнили кстати, что по правилам на каждого арестанта из особого отделения полагалось на работе по два конвойных или по крайней мере один за каждым. Правила этого не было соблюдено. Выходило, стало быть, неприятное дело. Посланы были нарочные по всем волостям, по всем окрестным местечкам, чтоб заявить о бежавших и оставить везде их приметы. Послали казаков в догоню, на ловлю; написали и в соседние уезды и губернии… Одним словом, струхнули очень.
Между тем у нас в остроге началось другого рода волнение. Арестанты, по мере того как подходили с работ, тотчас же узнавали в чем дело. Весть уже облетела всех. Все принимали известие с какою-то необыкновенною, затаенною радостью. У всех как-то вздрогнуло сердце… Кроме того, что этот случай нарушил монотонную жизнь острога и раскопал муравейник, — побег, и такой побег, как-то родственно отозвался во всех душах и расшевелил в них давно забытые струны; что-то вроде надежды, удали, возможности переменить свою участь зашевелилось во всех сердцах. «Бежали же ведь люди: почему ж?.. » И каждый при этой мысли приободрялся и с вызывающим видом смотрел на других. По крайней мере все вдруг стали какие-то гордые и свысока начали поглядывать на унтер-офицеров. Разумеется, в острог тотчас же налетело начальство. Приехал и сам комендант. Наши приободрились и смотрели смело, даже несколько презрительно и с какой-то молчаливой, строгой солидностью: «Мы, дескать, умеем дела обделывать». Само собой, что о всеобщем посещении начальства у нас тотчас же предугадали. Предугадали тоже, что непременно будут обыски, и заранее все припрятали. Знали, что начальство в этих случаях всегда крепко задним умом. Так и случилось: была большая суматоха; все перерыли, все переискали и — ничего не нашли, разумеется. На послеобеденную работу отправили арестантов под конвоем усиленным. Ввечеру караульные наведывались в остроге поминутно; пересчитали людей лишний раз против обыкновенного; при этом обсчитались раза два против обыкновенного. От этого вышла опять суетня: выгнали всех на двор и сосчитали сызнова. Потом просчитали еще раз по казармам… Одним словом, много было хлопот.
Но арестанты и в ус себе не дули. Все они смотрели чрезвычайно независимо и, как это всегда водится в таких случаях, вели себя необыкновенно чинно во весь этот вечер: «Ни к чему, значит, придраться нельзя». Само собою, начальство думало: «Не остались ли в остроге соумышленники бежавших?» — и велело присматривать, прислушиваться к арестантам. Но арестанты только смеялись. «Таково ли это дело, чтоб оставлять по себе соумышленников!» «Дело это тихими стопами делается, а не как иначе». «Да и такой ли человек Куликов, такой ли человек А-в, чтоб в этаком деле концов не сохранить?» Сделано мастерски, шито-крыто. Народ сквозь медные трубы прошел; сквозь запертые двери пройдут!" Одним словом, Куликов и А-в возросли в своей славе; все гордились ими. Чувствовали, что подвиг их дойдет до отдаленнейшего потомства каторжных, острог переживет.
— Народ мастер! — говорили одни.
— Вот думали, что у нас не бегут. Бежали же!.. — прибавляли другие.
— Бежали! — выискался третий, с некоторою властью озираясь кругом. — Да кто бежал-то?.. Тебе, что ли, пара?
В другое время арестант, к которому относились эти слова, непременно отвечал бы на вызов и защитил свою честь. Но теперь он скромно промолчал. «В самом деле, не все ж такие, как Куликов и А-в; покажи себя сначала…»
— И чего это мы, братцы, взаправду живет здесь? — прерывает молчание четвертый, скромно сидящий у кухонного окошка, говоря несколько нараспев от какого-то расслабленного, но втайне самодовольного чувства и подпирая ладонью щеку. — Что мы здесь? Жили — не люди, померли — не покойники. Э-эх!
— Дело не башмак. С ноги не сбросишь. Чего э-эх?
— Да вот же Куликов… — ввязался было один из горячих, молодой и желторотый паренек.
— Куликов! — подхватывает тотчас же другой, презрительно скосив глаза на желторотого парня. — Куликов!..
То есть это значит: много ли Куликовых-то?
— Ну и А-в же, братцы, дошлый, ух, дошлый!
— Куды! Этот и Куликова между пальцами обернет. Кольцов не найти концов!
— А далеко ль они теперь ушли, братцы, желательно знать…
И тотчас же пошли разговоры, далеко ль они ушли? и в какую сторону пошли? и где бы им лучше идти? и какая волость ближе? Нашлись люди, знающие окрестности. Их с любопытством слушали. Говорили о жителях соседних деревень и решили, что это народ неподходящий. Близко к городу, натертый народ; арестантам не дадут потачки, изловят и выдадут.
— Мужик-от тут, братцы, лихой живет. У-у-у мужик!
— Неосновательный мужик!
— Сибиряк соленые уши. Не попадайся, убьет.
— Ну, да наши-то…
— Само собой, тут уж чья возьмет. И наши не такой народ.
— А вот не помрем, так услышим.
— А ты что думал? изловят?
— Я думаю, их ни в жисть не изловят! — подхватывает другой из горячих, ударив кулаком по столу.
— Гм. Ну, тут уж как обернется.
— А я вот что, братцы, думаю, — подхватывает Скуратов, — будь я бродяга, меня бы ни в жисть не поймали!
— Тебя-то!
Начинается смех, другие делают вид, что слушать-то не хотят. Но Скуратов уже расходился.
— Ни в жисть не поймают! — подхватывает он с энергией. — Я, братцы, часто про себя это думаю и сам на себя дивлюсь: вот, кажись, сквозь щелку бы пролез, а не поймали б.
— Небось проголодаешься, к мужику за хлебом придешь.
Общий хохот.
— За хлебом? врешь!
— Да ты что языком-то колотишь? Вы с дядей Васей коровью смерть убили,[1] оттого и сюда пришли.
Хохот подымается сильнее. Серьезные смотрят еще с большим негодованием.
— Ан врешь! — кричит Скуратов, — это Микитка про меня набухвостил, да и не про меня, а про Ваську, а меня уж так заодно приплели. Я москвич и сыздетства на бродяжестве испытан. Меня, как дьячок еще грамоте учил, тянет, бывало, за ухо: тверди «Помилуй мя, боже, по велицей милости твоей и так дальше…» А я и твержу за ним: «Повели меня в полицию по милости твоей и так дальше…» Так вот я как с самого сызмалетства поступать начал.
Все опять захохотали. Но Скуратову того и надо было. Он не мог не дурачиться. Скоро его бросили и принялись опять за серьезные разговоры. Судили больше старики и знатоки дела. Люди помоложе и посмирнее только радовались, на них глядя, и просовывали головы послушать; толпа собралась на кухне большая; разумеется унтер-офицеров тут не было. При них бы всего не стали говорить. Из особенно радовавшихся я заметил одного татарина, Маметку, невысокого роста, скулистого, чрезвычайно комическую фигуру. Он почти не говорил по-русски и почти ничего не понимал, что другие говорят, но, туда же, просовывал голову из-за толпы и слушал, с наслаждением слушал.
— Что, Маметка, якши? — пристал к нему от нечего делать отвергнутый всеми Скуратов.
— Якши! ух, якши! — забормотал, весь оживляясь, Маметка, кивая Скуратову своей смешной головой, — якши!
— Не поймают их? йок?
— Йок, йок! — и Маметка заболтал опять, на этот раз уже размахивая руками.
— Значит, твоя врала, моя не разобрала, так, что ли?
— Так, так, якши! — подхватил Маметка, кивая головою.
— Ну и якши!
И Скуратов, щелкнув его по шапке и нахлобучив ее ему на глаза, вышел из кухни в веселейшем расположении духа, оставив в некотором изумлении Маметку.
Целую неделю продолжались строгости в остроге и усиленные погони и поиски в окрестностях. Не знаю, каким образом, но арестанты тотчас же и в точности получали все известия о маневрах начальства вне острога. В первые дни все известия были в пользу бежавших: ни слуху и духу, пропали, да и только. Наши только посмеивались. Всякое беспокойство о судьбе бежавших исчезало. «Ничего не найдут, никого не поймают!» — говорили у нас с самодовольствием.
— Нет ничего; пуля!
— Прощайте, не стращайте, скоро ворочусь!
Знали у нас, что всех окрестных крестьян сбили на ноги, сторожили все подозрительные места, все леса, все овраги.
— Вздор, — говорили наши подсмеиваясь, — у них, верно, есть такой человек, у которого они теперь проживают.
— Беспременно есть! — говорили другие, — не такой народ; все вперед изготовили.
Пошли еще дальше в предположениях: стали говорить, что беглецы до сих пор, может, еще в форштадте сидят, где-нибудь в погребе пережидают, пока «трелога» пройдет да волоса обрастут. Полгода, год проживут, а там и пойдут…
Одним словом, все были даже в каком-то романтическом настроении духа. Как вдруг, дней восемь спустя после побега, пронесся слух, что напали на след. Разумеется, нелепый слух был тотчас же отвергнут с презрением. Но в тот же вечер слух подтвердился. Арестанты начали тревожиться. На другой день поутру стали по городу говорить, что уже изловили, везут. После обеда узнали еще больше подробностей: изловили в семидесяти верстах, в такой-то деревне. Наконец получилось точное известие. Фельдфебель, воротясь от майора, объявил положительно, что к вечеру их привезут, прямо в кордегардию при остроге. Сомневаться уже было невозможно. Трудно передать впечатление, произведенное этим известием на арестантов. Сначала точно все рассердились, потом приуныли. Потом проглянуло какое-то поползновение к насмешке. Стали смеяться, но уж не над ловившими, а над пойманными, сначала немногие, потом почти все, кроме некоторых серьезных и твердых, думавших самостоятельно и которых не могли сбить с толку насмешками. Они с презрением смотрели на легкомыслие массы и молчали про себя.
Одним словом, в той же мере как прежде возносили Куликова и А-ва, так теперь унижали их, даже с наслаждением унижали. Точно они всех чем-то обидели. Рассказывали с презрительным видом, что им есть очень захотелось, что они не вынесли голоду и пошли в деревню к мужикам просить хлеба. Это уже была последняя степень унижения для бродяги. Впрочем, эти рассказы были неверны. Беглецов выследили; они скрылись в лесу; окружили лес со всех сторон народом. Те, видя, что нет возможности спастись, сдались. Больше им ничего не оставалось делать.
Но когда их повечеру действительно привезли, связанных по рукам и по ногам, с жандармами, вся каторга высыпала к палям смотреть, что с ними будут делать. Разумеется, ничего не увидали, кроме майорского и комендантского экипажа у кордегардии. Беглецов посадили в секретную, заковали и назавтра же отдали под суд. Насмешки и презрение арестантов вскоре упали сами собою. Узнали дело подробнее, узнали, что нечего было больше и делать, как сдаться, и все стали сердечно следить за ходом дела в суде.
— Пробуравят тысячу, — говорили одни.
— Куда тысячу! — говорили другие, — забьют. А-ву, пожалуй, тысячу, а того забьют, потому, братец ты мой, особого отделения.
Однако ж не угадали. А-ву вышло всего пятьсот; взяли во внимание его удовлетворительное прежнее поведение и первый проступок. Куликову дали, кажется, полторы тысячи. Наказывали довольно милосердно. Они, как люди толковые, никого перед судом не запутали, говорили ясно, точно, говорил, что прямо бежали из крепости, не заходя никуда. Всех больше мне было жаль Коллера: он все потерял, последние надежды свои, прошел больше всех, кажется две тысячи, и отправлен был куда-то арестантом, только не в наш острог. А-ва наказали слабо, жалеючи; помогали этому лекаря. Но он куражился и громко говорил в госпитале, что уж теперь он на все пошел, на все готов и не то еще сделает. Куликов вел себя по-всегдашнему, то есть солидно, прилично, и, воротясь после наказания в острог, смотрел так, как будто никогда из него отлучался. Но не так смотрели на него арестанты: несмотря на то что Куликов всегда и везде умел поддержать себя, арестанты в душе как-то перестали уважать его, как-то более запанибрата стали с ним обходиться. Одним словом, с этого побега слава Куликова сильно померкла. Успех так много значит между людьми…

1. ↑ То есть убили мужика или бабу, подозревая, что они пустили по ветру порчу, от которой падает скот. У нас был один такой убийца. (Прим. автора).

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X. Выход из каторги

Все это случилось уже в последний год моей каторги. Этот последний год почти так же памятен мне, как и первый, особенно самое последнее время в остроге. Но что говорить о подробностях. Помню только, что в этот год, несмотря на все мое нетерпение поскорей кончить срок, мне было легче жить, чем во все предыдущие годы ссылки. Во-первых, между арестантами у меня было уже много друзей и приятелей, окончательно решивших, что я хороший человек. Многие из них мне были преданны и искренно любили меня. Пионер чуть не заплакал, провожая меня и товарища моего из острога, и когда мы потом, уже по выходе, еще целый месяц жили в этом городе, в одном казенном здании, он почти каждый день заходил к нам, так только, чтоб поглядеть на нас. Были, однако, и личности суровые и неприветливые до конца, которым, кажется, тяжело было сказать со мной слово — бог знает от чего. Казалось, между нами стояла какая-то перегородка. Фельдшер, молодой и добрый малый, немного излишне занятый своею В последнее время я вообще имел больше льгот, чем во все время каторги. В том городе между служащими военными у меня оказались знакомые и даже давнишние школьные товарищи. Я возобновил с ними сношения. Через них я мог иметь больше денег, мог писать на родину и даже мог иметь книги. Уже несколько лет как я не читал ни одной книги, и трудно отдать отчет о том странном и вместе волнующем впечатлении, которое произвела во мне первая прочитанная мною в остроге книга. Помню, я начал читать ее с вечера, когда заперли казарму, и прочитал всю ночь до зари. Это был нумер одного журнала. Точно весть с того света прилетела ко мне; прежняя жизнь вся ярко и светло восстала передо мной, и я старался угадать по прочитанному: много ль я отстал от этой жизни? много ль прожили они там без меня, что их теперь волнует, какие вопросы их теперь занимают? Я придирался к словам, читал между строчками, старался находить таинственный смысл, намеки на прежнее; отыскивал следы того, что прежде, в мое время, волновало людей, и как грустно мне было теперь на деле сознать, до какой степени я был чужой в новой жизни, стал ломтем отрезанным. Надо было привыкать к новому, знакомиться с новым поколеньем. Особенно бросался я на статью, под которой находил имя знакомого, близкого прежде человека… Но уже звучали и новые имена: явились новые деятели, и я с жадностью спешил с ними познакомиться и досадовал, что у меня так мало книг в виду и что так трудно добираться до них. Прежде же, при прежнем плац-майоре, даже опасно было носить книги в каторгу. В случае обыска были бы непременно запросы: «Откуда книги? где взял? Стало быть, имеешь сношения?..» А что мог я отвечать на такие запросы? И потому, живя без книг, я поневоле углублялся в самого себя, задавал себе вопросы, старался разрешить их, мучился им иногда… Но ведь всего этого так не перескажешь!..
Поступил я в острог зимой и потому зимой же должен был выйти на волю, в то самое число месяца, в которое прибыл. С каким нетерпением я ждал зимы, с каким наслаждением смотрел в конце лета, как вянет лист на дереве и блекнет трава в степи. Но вот уже и прошло лето, завыл осенний ветер; вот уже начал порхать первый снег… Настала наконец эта зима, давно ожидаемая! Сердце мое начинало подчас глухо и крепко биться от великого предчувствия свободы. Но странное дело: чем больше истекало время и чем ближе подходил срок, тем терпеливее и терпеливее я становился. Около самых последних дней я даже удивился и попрекнул себя: мне показалось, что я стал совершенно хладнокровен и равнодушен. Многие встречавшиеся мне на дворе в шабашное время арестанты заговаривали со мной, поздравляли меня:
— Вот выйдете, батюшка Александр Петрович, на слободу, скоро, скоро. Оставите нас одних, бобылей.
— А что, Мартынов, вам-то скоро ли? — отвечаю я.
— Мне-то! ну, да уж что! Лет семь еще и я промаюсь…
И вздохнет про себя, остановится, посмотрит рассеянно, точно заглядывая в будущее… Да, многие искренно и радостно поздравляли меня. Мне казалось, что и все как будто стали со мной обращаться приветливее. Я, видимо, становился им уже не свой; они уже прощались со мной. К-чинский, поляк из дворян, тихий и кроткий молодой человек, тоже, как и я, любил много ходить в шабашное время по двору. Он думал чистым воздухом и моционом сохранить свое здоровье и наверстать весь вред душных казарменных ночей. «Я с нетерпением жду вашего выхода, — сказал он мне с улыбкою, встретясь однажды со мной на прогулке, — вы выйдете, и уж я буду знать тогда, что мне ровно год остается до выхода».
Замечу здесь мимоходом, что вследствие мечтательности и долгой отвычки свобода казалась у нас в остроге как-то свободнее настоящей свободы, то есть той, которая есть в самом деле, в действительности. Арестанты преувеличивали понятие о действительной свободе, и это так естественно, так свойственно всякому арестанту. Какой-нибудь оборванный офицерский денщик считался у нас чуть не королем, чуть не идеалом свободного человека сравнительно с арестантами, оттого что он ходил небритый, без кандалов и без конвоя.
Накануне самого последнего дня, в сумерки, я обошел в последний раз около паль весь наш острог. Сколько тысяч раз я обошел эти пали во все эти годы! Здесь за казармами скитался я в первый год моей каторги один, сиротливый, убитый. Помню, как я считал тогда, сколько тысяч дней мне остается. Господи, как давно это было! Вот здесь, в этом углу, проживал в плену наш орел; вот здесь встречал меня часто Петров. Он и теперь не отставал от меня. Подбежит и, как бы угадывая мысли мои, молча идет подле меня и точно про себя чему-то удивляется. Мысленно прощался я с этими почернелыми бревенчатыми срубами наших казарм. Как неприветливо поразили они меня тогда, в первое время. Должно быть, и они теперь постарели против тогдашнего; но мне это было неприметно. И сколько в этих стенах погребено напрасно молодости, сколько великих сил погибло здесь даром! Ведь надо уж все сказать: ведь этот народ необыкновенный был народ. Ведь это, может быть, и есть самый даровитый, самый сильный народ из всего народа нашего. Но погибли даром могучие силы, погибли ненормально, незаконно, безвозвратно. А кто виноват?
То-то, кто виноват?
На другое утро рано, еще перед выходом на работу, когда только еще начинало светать, обошел я все казармы, чтоб попрощаться со всеми арестантами. Много мозолистых, сильных рук протянулось ко мне приветливо. Иные жали их совсем по-товарищески, но таких было немного. Другие уже очень хорошо понимали, что я сейчас стану совсем другой человек, чем они. Знали, что у меня в городе есть знакомство, что я тотчас же отправляюсь отсюда к господам и рядом сяду с этими господами как ровный. Они это понимали и прощались со мной хоть и приветливо, хоть и ласково, но далеко не как с товарищем, а будто с барином. Иные отвертывались от меня и сурово не отвечали на мое прощание. Некоторые посмотрели даже с какою-то ненавистью.
Пробил барабан, и все отправились на работу, а я остался дома. Сушилов в это утро встал чуть не раньше всех и из всех сил хлопотал, чтоб успеть приготовить мне чай. Бедный Сушилов! он заплакал, когда я подарил ему мои арестантские обноски, рубашки, подкандальники и несколько денег. «Мне не это, не это! — говорил он, через силу сдерживая свои дрожавшие губы, — мне вас-то каково потерять, Александр Петрович? на кого без вас-то я здесь останусь!» В последний раз простились мы и с Акимом Акимычем.
— Вот и вам скоро! — сказал я ему.
— Мне долго-с, мне еще очень долго здесь быть-с, — бормотал он, пожимая мою руку. Я бросился ему на шею, и мы поцеловались.
Минут десять спустя после выхода арестантов вышли и мы из острога, чтоб никогда в него не возвращаться, — я и мой товарищ, с которым я прибыл. Надо было идти прямо в кузницу, чтоб расковать кандалы. Но уже конвойный с ружьем не сопровождал нас: мы пошли с унтер-офицером. Расковывали нас наши же арестанты, в инженерной мастерской. Я подождал, покамест раскуют товарища, а потом подошел и сам к наковальне. Кузнецы обернули меня спиной к себе, подняли сзади мою ногу, положили на наковальню… Они суетились, хотели сделать ловчее, лучше.
— Заклепку-то, заклепку-то повороти перво-наперво!.. — командовал старший, — установь ее, вот так, ладно… Бей теперь молотом…
Кандалы упали. Я поднял их… Мне хотелось подержать их в руке, взглянуть на них в последний раз. Точно я дивился теперь, что они сейчас были на моих же ногах.
— Ну, с богом! с богом! — говорили арестанты отрывистыми, грубыми, но как будто чем-то довольными голосами.
Да, с богом! Свобода, новая жизнь, воскресенье из мертвых… Экая славная минута!

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Memories of the House of the Dead (e-book)